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Sooyoung loves Sungjae, she really does. If she didn't, she wouldn't have said yes to him all those years ago when they were still in high school.
But right now, as he's on one knee with a hopeful smile on his face and a really, very, super, extremely expensive ring in his hands, she's doubting her feelings for him.
She knows she loves him but she knows she doesn't want to say yes.
Especially while she's watching (she doesn't care about anyone else in the room, just her) and judging Sooyoung.
"I-I'm sorry, love... I need some time to think..." she rejects him. Everyone is in disbelief, her mother faints and his mother cries. Sooyoung doesn't care. She only cares about her and how she sighs in disappointment.
Sungjae's smile falls for a second. He has his smile on but it doesn't reach his eyes, he stands up. "Take all the time you need, I'll be here waiting for you." he hugs her, Sooyoung lets herself get lost in his warmth.
She sees her disappearing from the crowd, she grabs her coat and walks out the building.
Sooyoung breaks free from Sungjae's hug and she excuses herself before running out too, she ignores Sungjae's confused calls for her and the crowd yelling at her.
"Hey!" Sooyoung catches up to her. To Wendy. "Wan, why are you leaving?"
She grabs the shorter girl's forearm, Wendy doesn't try to get out of her hold "Isn't the party over?" she turns to Sooyoung, her eyes are watery with tears threatening to escape from them.
Sooyoung closes the distance between them to hug her, Wendy rests her head on the taller girl's shoulders. The night air was cold but Sooyoung felt warm.
"Why didn't you say no?" Wendy asks, Sooyoung feels her shaky, cold breathe on her collarbone. Sooyoung holds her tighter "Why are you like this? It's not like I said yes..." "You didn't, but you told him you'll think about it."
Wendy's crying now and Sooyoung feels her heart rip to pieces, she hates when her best friend cries.
"Joy... how long does it have to be like this?" Sooyoung furrows her brows in confusion "How long do I have to be a third party? The other lover?"
"Joy, you have to choose now if you want him or if you want me." she pushes herself off Sooyoung "I can't keep doing this because it's not fair to me or Sungjae. You have to choose because you can't have us both, Joy"
"Take your time, Joy. But don't take too long" Wendy wipes at her tears "or else I'll make the decision for you... and I'm not going to stay."
She walks away and Sooyoung finally feels the gust of autumn wind hitting her.
Sooyoung stands there in the cold until Wendy was completely gone, she's too upset about Wendy to even question why Sungjae nor anybody else in the party didn't come out looking for her.
After a while, she pulls out her phone and calls her last hope "Well, well, well." "Shut up." "I'm ending this call-" "Wait! I... I really need your help."
one week earlier
"Park Sooyou-" Yerim freezes at Sooyoung's office doors "I tried to stop her-" Seulgi catches up to Yerim and stops dead in her tracks as well "Oh..."
"I..." Yerim looks at the intimate position Sooyoung and her friend are in "can... like... come back later." Yerim turns and pushes Seulgi, who was in utter shock at the scene, out of the way before closing the door behind them.
Sooyoung pushes herself off Wendy and hastily grabs her blouse, "Fuck, fuck!" she yells while zipping up her pants.
She's dead. Sure, Seulgi's too nice to say anything about this to anybody, but Yeri- Oh god... Yeri's gonna rat her out to Sungjae and his father, HER BOSS, and she's gonna be fired, be shunned, be humiliated. Her reputation will be ruined for good and she's gonna be a nobody, she'll be irrelevant and worthless and hated and- "Hey."
Wendy puts her hands over Sooyoung's before moving them to button up her blouse "Relax." "Relax?" Sooyoung scoffs "Relax!" she yells "How do you expect me to relax when my intern who hates me and spits in my coffee when my secretary isn't looking walked in on us! She's gonna tell Sungjae and-" "Joy." Wendy cups her cheek.
"Calm down..." Sooyoung realizes Wendy's hands are quivering too "We'll figure this out, we'll- we just need to stay calm, just stay calm and we can figure things out and-" Sooyoung places her hand over Wendy's "You're scared too, aren't you?"
Wendy nods, a tear drop falling down her cheek. Sooyoung frowns and wipes the lone tear away before kissing Wendy's cheek.
On the outside, Yeri anxiously paces around in front of Sooyoung's office doors while Seulgi slumps down in her desk chair in disbelief.
"This is... oh my god! What do I do with this information!" Yeri yells, grabbing Seulgi by her collar and shaking her. Seulgi grabs the younger's wrists before making Yeri slap her own face. "Yeri. You need to think of your next move very wisely."
"And you need to be humane about this." Seulgi adds, knowing her younger friend is merciless towards the people she hates.
Yerim nods.
present day
Sooyoung looks at the interesting meet up place Yerim and her had agreed on.
"Park Sooyoung!" Yerim waves her over to a table, Sooyoung carefully makes her way to the intern "When you said wing house, I was imagining a little joint with an acoustic singer on the stage and drunk men not..." Sooyoung squints and realizes that's her secretary Seulgi making out with a woman in front of the restrooms "cross-dressers dancing and rainbows everywhere." turns out Yerim's idea of a wing house was a gay bar.
Yerim follows Sooyoung's line of sight "Yeah, that's Seulgi unnie and her girlfriend. Sit down." Sooyoung's owes Wendy some cash ("I think your secretary is gay." "Seulgi? No she's not." "I don't know, Joy. She my gaydar is great and she just gives me sapphic vibes- plus I saw her watching The Handmaiden's nsfw scene on her computer." "What!")
"Now talk to me, I heard from some co workers that sajang-nim proposed last night and you rejected him?" Sooyoung rolls her eyes "I didn't reject him, I told him I needed some time to think." "Do you really?" "What?" Sooyoung's taken aback by Yerim's reply.
"I'm just saying... I think you already know the answer." Yerim takes a sip from her juice, Sooyoung folds her arms and leans back on the seat "Well if I did then I wouldn't be coming to you now, would I?"
Yerim stares her down as she finishes her juice, she pushes the plate of chicken to Sooyoung "Alright then."
"Tell me your story, enlighten me, I want to know about you and sajang-nim and I also want to know about you and the girl so I can make my judgement, capiche?" Yerim's cold stare intimidates Sooyoung "Capiche..."
"Um... Sungjae and I met in middle school, we started dating in high school, we've been together since." Sooyoung recalls.
Sungjae hid in the girls restroom and Sooyoung had no other choice but to help him. He thanked her by treating her to ice cream and they became friends after that. He soon started courting her until he asked her out in front of the entire student body with an original song he had made for her.
"Wait so you guys have been dating for how long?" "Almost nine years." "Straight?" "I think I might be bi-" "No!" Yerim chokes "I mean nine years straight, you two have been dating for nine years straight?" "Oh..." Sooyoung blushes in embarrassment "Yeah."
"Is he your first and only relationship ever?" Yerim asks, Sooyoung purses her lips and shrugs "Technically. I dated this guy in fifth grade for like a week." "I see..."
"When did you start liking girls?" Yerim asks while sneakily grabbing another glass of juice from a passing waiter, he reprimands her and takes the juice back. "I've always kind of known, but you know how conservative Korea is, so I never really knew until I went to Canada."
"I met Wendy in Canada." "Wendy's the girl?" Yerim asks for confirmation, Sooyoung nods "Funnily enough, Sungjae was the one who brought us together." she smiles fondly thinking of how supportive Sungjae was after finding out she wanted to study in Toronto despite wishing she would go to New York with him "I got a scholarship to the University of Toronto in Canada and Sungjae got a friend of his to take me in."
And that's how she met Wendy, she was Sungjae's friend's roommate and the only other girl in the house so they automatically clicked.
"I found out Wendy liked girls, liked me, after she invited me to a pride parade and kissed me." Yerim gasps "Oh! I always dreamed of sharing a kiss with my girlfriend at a pride parade!" Yerim whines, thinking about her beautiful girlfriend, the girl of her dreams.
"What happened next?" Yerim asks, excited "Well, I kissed her back" Yerim squeals "and we started dating."
Yerim fangirls over the short story for a while before composing herself. She can't be biased to the gay couple just because she herself is gay, she needs to stay neutral.
"So this Wendy girl, how did she feel after you told her-" "She found out." "-found out about your boyfriend?" "She was... sad." Sooyoung frowns, remembering how upset Wendy was after finding out Sooyoung had a boyfriend. What hurt her the most was how regretful Wendy looked for ever getting involved with her "She was disappointed in me and she broke up with me..."
Yerim frowns before cocking a brow "But you two are sneaking around?" "Yeah, um... she came back to Korea from Canada a year ago and we sort of rekindled our relationship." Sooyoung smiles fondly at the memory.
She ran into Wendy while grocery shopping, it was awkward but she still invited Wendy out for lunch and strangely enough, Wendy agreed. She dropped Wendy off and kissed her and one thing lead to another so here they were now.
Yerim leans back on her seat "How about sajang-nim? Does he know about you and Wendy? Or is he like suspicious?"
Sooyoung frowns and shakes her head "He... he trusts me too much." Sungjae had never once doubted her or their relationship, even after his friend from Canada reported that she might be cheating on him with someone, Sungjae believed her when she told him it wasn't true.
It broke her heart how much Sungjae loved and trusted her, and it hurt knowing that he has never and will never cheat on her because he loves her too much. Sooyoung loves him too, she really does, with her whole heart, but she can't stop herself from loving Wendy too.
Yerim pouts "Sooyoung-nim, at the end of the day, it's still your decision but..."
"Think about water and fire." Sooyoung furrows her brows in confusion, what does water and fire have to do with her situation? "You would much rather drown than burn, right?" "Yeah..?"
"See, the water is the safest choice. Water is lovely, water is great." Yerim places the glass of water between them "Water can adjust to your likings and you'll never have to worry when you're with water."
"Fire on the other hand," Yerim holds a finger up before calling Seulgi over. Seulgi looked annoyed followed by surprise seeing Sooyoung. She hands Yerim a lighter before returning to her girl ("Who's that with Yeri? Your side chick?" "Yah! You're my only girl, Hyun! She's just my boss!" "Mhmm... Kiss me then if it's true." "Of course!") "fire will burn you."
Yerim grabs a sheet of tissue and lights it up "Fire is the opposite of water, fire is scary, dangerous, unsafe." Yerim drops the burning tissue in the water.
"But fire's not all that bad." Yerim keeps the lighter in her pocket "Fire can be your light in the dark and can keep you warm."
Sooyoung tries to process everything and tries to understand where Yerim is going with this metaphor "I-is Wendy supposed to be the fire and Sungjae the water?" she was completely lost.
Yerim sighs "If you choose sajang-nim, then you'll be set for life. He's a rich man who's in love with you and can give you everything your heart desires, do you want to have kids?" "Someday, yes." "With Sungjae, you have a chance of starting a family, you have the brightest future ahead of you. Especially if you keep your past relationship with Wendy all to yourself then your life will be easy."
Sooyoung thinks about it. She'll have the most beautiful wedding gown and the most expensive ring, she'll be the most beautiful bride to ever exist. She'll become an even more successful businesswoman than she already is and she'll have the most gorgeous and adorable kids. They'll be living together in a huge mansion and they'll have well behaved dogs. Her life will be a dream.
"Now if you choose Wendy, you'll have to be mentally and physically prepared for hate and backlash. Especially if you choose to be loud and proud of your relationship with her, you have to brace yourself for the stares and judgements you'll be receiving form everyone. Your chances of having a family with her is low and unlikely and even if you do manage, you'll be looked down on."
She most likely won't ever get the chance to be in a wedding gown and even if she did, nobody would go to see her. Her work will be on the line and finding a job will be a struggle if she did choose to be open about her relationship. Adoption will be a difficult task, especially for a same-sex couple. Even if they did move to Canada however, they won't be able to escape the few homophobic people there.
Yerim clasps her hands together "Now, I guess it's fairly obvious-" "No." Sooyoung cuts her off "No, you need to tell me the downsides to being with Sungjae and the upsides of being with Wendy. You can't just give me an obvious choice and expect me not to choose it." Sooyoung scoffs, angry at this bias that she herself already has towards the easier life with Sungjae over the struggles she'll get with Wendy.
To Sooyoung's dismay, Yerim just chuckles at her "Well, I'm not the one dating them. Why don't you tell me?"
Sooyoung frowns "I- well... downsides to choosing Sungjae... their isn't much really." Sooyoung tries to think but Sungjae's perfect, too perfect "Maybe I'll get overbearing in laws and I guess we'll both be workaholics but Sungjae manages his time for me nicely and we barely meet with his family..."
"Upsides to choosing Wendy..." Sooyoung trails off, Yerim stares at her expectantly. Sooyoung sighs "I don't know what're the upsides to choosing her..."
Yerim smiles at her and takes her hand "So you've made your choice?"
Sooyoung licks her lower lip "Yeah, I think I did."
five years later
As expected, she looked beautiful in her wedding gown, her ivory white gown flowing freely and wonderfully.
The beautiful flower garden where she decided to get married in was full of guests who were excited to see her walking down the aisle.
Sungjae looked mighty handsome in his tux and he had the biggest smile on his face as he watched her walk down the aisle.
A sniffle from the woman beside him takes his eyes of Wendy.
"Are you crying?" Sungjae chuckles quietly while taking a handkerchief out of his pocket to give to Sooyoung, she tries her best to wipe her tears without ruining her makeup. "Look at my bride, Sungjae. Why wouldn't I cry?" Sooyoung chuckles as Wendy gets closer and smiles at her, Sungjae only grins as he squeezes her shoulder lovingly.
Wendy stands in her place before Sooyoung. She looked so gorgeous in a wedding gown, they both did.
Yerim snaps photo after photo of the couple, ignoring Seulgi who was crying tears of joy beside her, Joohyun will take care of that nuisance.
Yerim was there when Sooyoung chose Wendy, chose the difficulties and struggles, chose the love of her life.
She was there when Sooyoung cried to her after she breaking Sungjae's heart. She was there when Sooyoung asked Wendy to be her girlfriend. She was there when Sooyoung and Sungjae started talking again. She was there when Sooyoung formally introduced Wendy to Sungjae and everyone as her girlfriend. She was there when Sooyoung bought the ring and now she's here as they kiss in front of their friends and families after saying "I do."