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Arachne was exhausted, her fever wasn’t helping. After almost forty eight hours in a plane flying across the ocean, she just wanted to lay down and sleep. Cry too, it was just one of those days she wanted to curl up in her pillows and sob until she fell into a slumber.
That was her plan, she was ready to open the app to call a cab, or an uber to take her home. But as soon she turned off the plane mode notifications from the group chat began to pop. She rolled her eyes and was ready to dismiss all of them when she saw a couple from…
From her.
Vamp:
don’t you dare come here before sunday
after 14h
you NEED to rest
...
tell me when you arrive
please
Arachne leaned on the column with a soft smile. Remembering the morning when she woke up to Yanna running her slender fingers through her hair. It was actually the last time they had seen each other in person.
Arachne:
Arrived
11:43 pm ✔✔
Are you better?
11:43 pm ✔✔
Vamp:
Oh good
11:43 pm ✔✔
just came back home
11:43 pm ✔✔
i went for a walk with hypnos
11:43 pm ✔✔
Yanna was… adorable? Surprising. Yes, that is a better word. She was a wolf in sheep's clothing. Sweet and gentle, but if you got to know her more, you'd discover her overpowering personality. At least relationship wise.
Because with just a single sentence the girl had made her legs turn into jelly, if not for a sheer amount of will and defiance she would have only stared in awe. Yanna was naturally enthralling, sweet and…
Arachne gulped, feeling a heavy weight settle on her stomach. Despite having one of the most wonderful and restful nights with the blond, she felt too involved already, making her lose all control way too fast.
She shook her head and texted Dig, telling she was in town already. With a sigh she mindlessly browsed through her phone, she really needed to call a car, but it was just in the thought, she couldn’t bring herself to do it now. Even though she wanted so desperately to go home and lay down. A notification popped with Dig’s answer, she went back to the chat.
Dig:
Hey
11:48 pm ✔✔
Uh, do you want me to pick you up?
11:49 pm ✔✔
I happen to be closeby
Arachne frowned, reading the messages twice more before replying. Why was he near the airport in the first place? Wasn’t his house over an hour away? She typed the questions, but decided to take his offer.
If not, she would probably spend another two hours standing there.
Dig:
do you want to take you home,
or do you want to go to Yanna’s
11:50 pm ✔✔
Arachne:
Yanna prohibited me from going there
until like, 14h
11:50 pm ✔✔
So home probably
11:51 pm ✔✔
Why did she write probably? Where else would she go? His house? The lack of sleep was really getting to her today.
Dig:
alright
11:53 pm ✔✔
I am here
11:53 pm ✔✔
Arachne looked up, searching for the silver lamborghini. She walked towards it and unceremoniously opened the door, entering the front seat.
“Hello there.” She greeted, closing the door and placing her bag on her lap.
She buckled the seatbelt and stared at him, his face was troubled and tired. He was staring at the road without looking at her, she frowned observing his eyes, they looked… a bit sad.
“Should I ask why are you so far away from home?” She picked up her phone to seem distracted, Yanna had sent more messages, a small smile appeared on her lips.
“I… may have made a mistake. I lost my control at Hypnos. Because of Ishigawa.” He sighed. “And then I screamed at him.” He glanced over at her. “So I just decided to… drive around, I guess. I don’t have a curfew, my father is gone away already, so...”
She thought for a moment. “Well. Do you want to stay at my place then?”
He looked slightly surprised.
“I would like that.” He huffed. “I thought you were going to call me an idiot.”
She smiled because in other circumstances, she definitely would.
“Well, you already know, don’t you? Sometimes you just be an idiot.” She saw a notification and opened the app again to read it.
Vamp:
I suggest we change the name of
the club to Dig is an Idiot
11:53 pm ✔✔
Arachne:
It’s a possibility
11:57 pm ✔✔
He says he agrees
11:57 pm ✔✔
With the fact that he is an idiot
11:58 pm ✔✔
“Ugh. Why are you always right?” He shook his head, stopping at the red light. “Yesterday was so good, and I just...” He spun his hand but gave up on the motion resting it back on the wheel.
She sighed, looking down at her phone.
“I didn’t tell Yanna I was travelling on purpose” She confessed. “and Thursday was one of the best nights of my life.” She paused measuring her words, reading the last message she received.
When she left Yanna on Thursday morning she didn’t bother saying they probably wouldn’t see each other until the next week, because of the trip. She just needed time to think.
Vamp:
is he with you?
11:58 pm ✔✔
“It’s not that I’m always right, it’s just...” She started typing an answer. “I know the mistakes I made.”
“Oh...”
Her own emotions were too out of control, caring too much for a girl she barely knew. Caring too much for people would bring only pain.
Who would care for a pawn?
Arachne:
Taking me home
11:59 pm ✔✔
He is going to spend the night there
11:59 pm ✔✔
Vamp:
have fun
00:00 am ✔✔
i’m going to shower and sleep
00:00 am ✔✔
Arachne:
Talk to you later
00:00 am ✔✔
Vamp:
i missed you
00:01 am ✔✔
She inhaled sharply hiding her phone, there was a lump on her throat now. Her green eyes stared at the road and she glanced at her… at Dig.
“Are you hungry?”
“A little.” He answered. “Do you have anything at your house?”
“Nope. Just eggs.” She thought for a moment. “Maybe popcorn. I usually use Saturday to buy groceries.”
Her phone buzzed with a notification, slightly arching her eyebrows seeing the nickname ‘TheOneWhoBlockedMe’. Hypnos sounded… sad. Or looked sad. He seemed to be regretting the fight Dig mentioned.
“Do you want to grab a pizza?”
“It can be. Which one do you like?” She asked already searching on her phone for a good pizzeria nearby.
“I think last time I ate a pepperoni one. I haven’t had much pizza in my life.”
“Oh same.” She agreed, remembering the last time she had pizza, it was actually at a meeting, because her client was the owner of the place, a shame they were from another country. “I like the ones that have olives.”
“There is a Domino’s close to your building, right? We can get something from there, it’s faster if you get at the counter.”
Was there? She couldn’t remember, she typed her address at google and indeed, there was one not even five blocks away from her apartment. Oh, it was the place she ate at after moving.
“Yes there is. Their cheese pizza is good.”
“That’s settled then.”
She stared outside of the window, seeing the landscape go by, it was calming. Arachne read Yanna’s last message again, no matter how hard she couldn’t bring herself to answer it. So she decided to go back to her conversation with Hypnos.
“....So, how was the talk?” Dig inquired, making her frown.
“Hum? The meeting?” What would be the answer to that… “Kind of fine. Yanna sent me the message after my turn, so I wasn’t...”
A wreck during the speech. Nor angry nor worried to death, because the last time someone important to her had been admitted in emergency left in a coffin. Even knowing hospitals were a common occurence to Yanna, she couldn’t control it.
“Kind of lucky that it was after.” He commented.
“Yeah…”
TheOneWhoBlockedMe:
tell him I'm sorry, ok?
00:16 am ✔✔
Arachne:
do it yourself too
00:16 am ✔✔
TheOneWhoBlockedMe:
and tell him I'm sorry for whatever I did yesterday
00:16 am ✔✔
> do it yourself too
just this once
00:16 am ✔✔
please
00:16 am ✔✔
Arachne:
…
00:17 am ✔✔
just this once
00:17 am ✔✔
“Hypnos says he is sorry.”
“Oh...”
“For the fight.” She quickly added.
Why couldn't things be easier? It was so clear that they liked each other. On one side there was Hypnos moping over thinking that Dig didn't like him that way and on the other the blond was forced in the closet too much to admit to his feelings easily. She wanted him to be happy, why was that so hard?
TheOneWhoBlockedMe:
thanks
00:17 am ✔✔
Arachne:
> and tell him I'm sorry for whatever I did yesterday
No
00:18 am ✔✔
I'll sorry for today
00:18 am ✔✔
But don't you dare apologize for yesterday
00:18 am ✔✔
he was happy
00:18 am ✔✔
She knew how hard it was to live in such a suffocating house. The mere hours she spent in Iwatani's residence as a guest were enough to keep her even more hyper alert for the following week.
TheOneWhoBlockedMe:
I know what I said but
00:18 am ✔✔
> he was happy
oh
00:18 am ✔✔
Arachne:
Don't apologize for yesterday
00:18 am ✔✔
Please
00:19 am ✔✔
TheOneWhoBlockedMe:
I trust you
00:19 am ✔✔
I got drunk yesterday, so I don't
really remember what he said so…
00:19 am ✔✔
he was slightly on edge today,
so I assumed he didn't like yesterday
00:20 am ✔✔
Arachne:
he liked it
00:21 am ✔✔
i don’t lie
00:21 am ✔✔
TheOneWhoBlockedMe:
i also just realized he stole my jacket...
00:21 am ✔✔
“But… I was the one who started it.” Dig frowned.
“Do you want me to tell you're sorry too?” She asked already typing the message. She knew what his answer was going to be.
“Yes. I didn't have the right to be so upset.”
Arachne:
> tell him I'm sorry, ok?
He says he is sorry too
00:21 am ✔✔
> I also just realized he stole my jacket…
You should buy more
00:22 am ✔✔
“Told.” She said to Dig, and kept reading Hypnos messages.
TheOneWhoBlockedMe:
> He says he is sorry too
It's fine
00:23 am ✔✔
> You should buy more
I like that jacket tho
00:23 am ✔✔
I don't mind if he keeps the
leather jacket, but I like that one
00:23 am ✔✔
“What did you say yesterday?”
“I was… possessive? With no reason.”
“No, the club.”
“Oh. I… The truth is, I did lead him on. But I wanted to see how far he'd go, how much he'd do with no inhibitions. But I liked it better than him, I think. I guess it was more about what wasn't said. We touched a lot, we looked at each other a lot. I think we were finally honest with each other. He said that I would be the death of him” Dig chuckled. “with my face, and my eyes. I did also say that I wish kissing him wouldn't have consequences.”
She chuckled.
“I hope you two can be like that more often.”
“.... He was drunk.”
She raised an eyebrow. “And?” He couldn’t be serious… “ Dig, he already told to my face, when he was sober , that he liked you.”
“Shit.” He muttered under his breath. “And what am I supposed to do with that?” He tightened his hold on the wheel. “I… I can’t act on it. If I could, I’d spend the rest of my days at his apartment.” He sighed exasperated. “That man is going to ruin my ability to continue my life . Do you understand me, or is this a me thing, not a… romance thing?”
“I understand you.”
Maybe a little too much.
* * *
“Do you want to get changed while I get the stuff ready?” Dig asked as she closed the door, she nodded, but the motion made her a bit dizzy. “We could watch a movie.”
“It can be.” She answered, taking off her blazer and placing her suitcase next to the wall.
She went to her room, using all her will to resist the urge to lay down and sleep until the next day.
Well, it was already Sunday, wasn't it? So it would be just today. She chuckled slightly because never in a thousand years she'd be able to sleep for more than four hours.
In a matter of seconds her shirt and pants were on the floor. She gathered them to put in the laundry basket.
She entered the bathroom and froze, seeing her reflection. Her neck, shoulders and ribs were covered in yellowish bruises. Some almost healing, others in the process and few in deep purple. Her heart started to hammer against her chest, the loud pumping echoing in her ears, hands trembling slightly.
Breathing deeply, she pulled the ponytail over her shoulder and stared at the green tips, playing with them. She dyed her hair for the first time in 2017, Mr. Myriad was alive and she lived with him. She's lived with him since 2011. She was safe. It was safe. No one hurt her.
She just needed to breathe. But… what happened then?
A blond curtain covering her, teeth sinking on her neck as her back arched with pleasure.
Yanna. Right.
Arachne took some minutes taming the incoming panic attack.
She threw the clothes in the basket and entered the shower, letting it drench her hair and soul. Taking this moment to breath.
These past weeks had been scraps after scraps of plans, trying to make sure she'd find a way to break up with Dig without damaging the contract she has with his father's business. Which worsened her sleeping schedule, the last thing she wanted to do was to fire people because of a mistake she made.
She wasn't stupid.
You are. Always getting it wrong.
Scrubbing until all the feeling of dirtiness went away. Trying to keep in mind that she was safe and not alone. Dig was waiting for her to finish so they could eat and watch a movie.
Firstly she needed to dry her hair and get dressed.
Step by step.
Twisting her hair until all the excess water was gone, putting on her wintery pajamas because she was feeling cold. She thought about putting her hair on a bun before going out but. It was Dig, she could trust him.
He wasn't going to pull it, right?
“Plates or no plates?” Dig asked from the kitchen.
“Whatever!” She screamed back, her body shivered with the loud sound of her voice.
“No plates, then. I don't know where you keep them. But I can see the roll of paper towels.”
She made her way back to the open living room. “They are on the top shelf.”
He was already with a bunch of sheets in his hand. “Oh.”
“What?”
“I just accepted we were going to the napkins.” Arachne shrugged, it didn't really matter, either would be fine. “Do you have anything to drink?”
“Let me check.” She crouched in front of the beverage cabinet, like she predicted it had only juice. “Grape, green grape or orange?”
“Green grape.”
“Green grape juice it is.” She grabbed the box, picking ice from the freezer to put in their cups.
“What was that animated movie you wanted to watch?” He asked as they made their way to the sofas.
“Choose one.” She placed the cups on the coffee table. “My answer is always the same.”
Even more when she didn’t want to think, the hunchback of Notre Dame had been her comfort movie for ages, listening to the songs and seeing Quasimodo get a happy ending always made her feel content.
“Hunchback, right?” Dig chuckled, looking through the netflix catalog. “How about… Hercules?”
“It can be. I think I saw my brother watching it once.” She replied, the movie had good songs, she had some saved on her favorites on the phone.
Dig’s puzzled face confused her, he was staring strangely.
“Your brother?” Asking seemed to make something click in his head. “Oh, from your adoptive family.”
“Yes...” She frowned and crossed her arms, hiding her trembling hands, trying to keep it under control.
He loved Hercules. She saw him watching it during many nights when their parents were away. But she never made him company. Never.
It was a rule she didn’t break.
“You don’t need to talk about it.”
It took a couple of seconds but she shook head. “Let’s just eat.”
“Let’s.” He sat, and handed her one of the napkins. “I was talking to Hypnos more when you were in the shower. He did remember his own words, just not what happened around them.”
“Did you… conciliate?” She opened the box and picked one of the slices, they were still hot.
“He… said he didn’t regret it. So… I think so.”
That was good. Arahcne sighed and started eating the pizza, the cheese felt like heaven on her stomach. Couldn't remember the last time she ate.
“You can start the movie whenever.” Dig commented, making her flinch. She searched for the controller, starting the movie before she forgot it again.
The aura of the movie changed completely when the muses began to sing, it was great. She closed her eyes enjoying the melody, trying to pay attention to the actual story. She gave a slight chuckle when Agony and Panic lost for the baby. Oh, how fun it would have been to be so strong and small.
“If he finds out.” She murmured. “I wonder how many kids saw that and decided to use it.”
“Ha! Right?” Dig looked at her.
“I think it got stuck to my head.” The words left before she thought about them, because it was true.
If he never found out, she wouldn’t suffer the consequences.
“Did you break many rules, as a kid? Or is this about...” He gestured vaguely.
She stared at her lap, letting her expression fall. Rules… Which rule didn’t she break? From grabbing snacks from the kitchen, going outside when no one was looking, walking around the house when it was empty, roaming the bookshelves from her father’s office for extra books to help her study. Asking for help...
“Quite a lot.” She sighed. “They didn’t like that.”
“Yeah...” He stared at nothing for a second. “Did you also learn it the hard way?”
Also .
“I think so.” She answered, maybe her version of the concept was wrong. “What do you mean by hard way?”
“Breaking them and suffering the consequences.” Always. “Being yelled at, or… worse.”
“Yeah...” She thought about the two scars on her back. “They usually went for worse though.”
Dig widened his eyes. “Shit. I am sorry for that.”
“It’s in the past.” There was nothing she could do about it now, it was almost a decade ago.
“Still… you didn’t deserve it. That’s not the right way to educate a child.”
“No kid deserves that.” A thought out loud, she went to all orphanages giving directions for the kids, that they needed to talk to adults they trusted.
“That… includes you.” Dig inclined his head. “I know how it feels, that everyone else’s feelings are justified. But you were also treated unfairly.” He turned his body to her, putting his arm on the back of the couch. “A family is supposed to… make you feel loved.”
“Found family.” An expression she heard quite recently. “Feeling safe is better than being tied by blood.”
Or by the law.
“Right?” Some seconds went by in silence. “Mind if I ask… Do you have people who actually make you feel safe?” Gregory, Shallow, you. “Besides Yanna.”
Did… Did Yanna even make her feel like that?
She slept on top of her, let the blond run her fingers through her hair, tracing her back, making her feel sleepy. The girl that made her heart go crazy in an exciting and good way, leaving her with a smile on her face just from thinking about the talks they shared.
“Okay, forget I asked.”
Such a warm and loving glow.
Too good to be true.
It is a lie.
“If i felt safe with her I wouldn’t be wanting to end things.” She whispered.
Go away before they hurt you. Leave and make them feel pain instead of you. No one would want to be with such an uncaring person, no one would spend their lives with a ruthless cold-hearted monster.
“Why?”
She covered her mouth. ‘Again?’ she thought. Another slip, how could she be so careless? Shivers started to go up and down her spine more frequently. Idiot. She should have sent him away as soon as they arrived. Or denied his lift from the start. Sick and exhausted, not a good idea. An stupid idea for a matter of fact. Her emotions were out of control.
“Arachne...” With the corner of her eye she noticed him moving towards her, she curled up against the arm of the couch, shrinking away. “Do you think Yanna would do what she did with you if she didn't care?” He stopped, waiting for an answer.
“Because she feels attracted.” She blurted out. “Because people always want something.” Pressing her eyes together, clenching her shirt. “Why would anyone care for me ?”
No one cares for you. Not even yourself.
“...Do you think I don't care?” She heard him moving towards her. “Arachne. You are my friend. You're one of the most genuine friends I ever had.” He is lying to you, like everyone. “You and I understand each other on a level no one else could.”
‘Don't believe the lie. Don't believe it.’ Put the thought on repeat, even if her heart wanted so desperately to accept it as true.
“I've met people that just get with others for the attraction, without the feelings. They don't stick around for very long.”
“They never do. They never did.”
Everyone will leave after you serve your purpose.
Everyone wanted something from her.
Her parents, a bargain.
Her brother, company.
Gregory, estability.
Shallow, entertainment.
Charles, an heir.
Dida, someone to talk to.
The company, profit.
Yanna, a lover.
Dig, an escape.
And she was weak enough to care for most of them.
“You are with better people now.” He touched her knee, she opened her eyes slightly, Dig was crouching before her, warm saddened brown eyes staring at desolated green. “I don't know what I have to do to get you to understand how most people… aren't like that.”
Her throat tightened and her eyes were stinging, with her heart hammering against her chest and lips quivering because she just couldn’t handle an overflow of emotions. The words ‘Go away’ were stuck in her core, because she cared too much for him and deep inside she desperately wanted someone, anyone, decided to stay. But that sentiment was like heaven’s light to her.
“The same people that said they loved me said that it didn’t matter.” Because she is a simple pawn.
“They’re the anomaly.”
“They just wanted me for what I did.” She blurted out. “No one ever cared .”
She was already burning in hellfire.
“I am your friend.” He said, warm and gentle brown eyes staring at her. “ I care. ”
Two words.
And she broke. She let out a sob, that was the key for all the crying, her shoulders shaking, tears running down her face like a river. It meant the world to her.
Because someone said they cared .
People cared.
She wasn’t alone.
She threw herself, hugging tightly his neck, sobbing on his shoulder non stop. It was everything she needed.