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Watching Spencer make his way to the subway the next morning, Nicky felt his heart fill with worry. His littlest brother was hiding things from them, again.
Spencer Reid was many things, but a good liar he was not. Sure, he would count cards and kept the perfect poker face, but when it came to talking to the Guard, to his second family as he called them, he could never really lie. Tell half truths, sure. Layer truth and lie together to get the lie past them? Okay, even Nicky would have to admit that it worked a few times.
But omission? Never. And that there was how Spencer was hiding something.
He felt his husband come up behind him, resting a hand lightly on his side. “Spencer didn’t tell us everything,” Joe whispered into his ear. No reason to give the girls anymore worries.
“Spencer isn’t telling us a lot of things. Such as, what is the true cause of his insomnia. He looked terrible yesterday, and today as well.”
The group slowly made their way back to the hotel that they’d stayed at to pick up their car. Andy had already taken off, to “find herself” as she’d told Nile. The younger woman wasn’t exactly happy about that, but figured there was a reason for it. They’d all agreed to take a few months to rest and heal their minds and souls before taking any jobs. For now, Nile was planning on staying with Nicky and Joe, at least until she got her feet under her.
Nicky didn’t mind having her along. She reminded him of some of the children they’d fostered years ago, strong and sassy, but willing to do whatever it took to protect family. It was easy to find himself treating her like one of his foster daughters instead of his little sister, but she seemed to thrive in it.
He’d tried the same with Spencer, but it had been clear from the beginning that someone, or multiple someones, had hurt and destroyed the man long before his first death in Georgia. His confidence was in tatters. The way his team didn’t seem to rally around him had bothered Nicky for weeks, even as they basically moved into his apartment while he was on “medical leave”. And when he thinks back to that to those days, when all Spencer had received was a few texts for the two weeks he’d been at home, he still gets angry. No visits, no surprise guests, just Spencer, listening to their story and fighting with them to keep his job.
The thing was, those first few months, Spencer was angry. And he took it out on them, and his team. It took Nicky a few days to work out why Spencer was angry at them. Then it clicked. He was almost free. He had been broken in that cabin, and he was almost free from the pain of living.
And instead he wasn’t going to get that release any time soon.
Booker had taken over keeping an eye on him once Nicky had made the connection, and the two bonded over it. But he still kept an eye from afar. Booker was a patient listener, a holdover from his days as a doting husband and loving father. He helped build Spencer the bridge to come back and accept that this was his lot in life right now.
Lately the family’s worries with Spencer were centered around his mindset. He still suffered from anxiety and depression, which he worked so hard to hide from his teammates. He was becoming a decent actor in that regard. His natural empathy worked against him time and again, but he still kept with the job, and wanted to stay until he hit that ten year mark. Only then would he walk away, either by faking his death (something that Andy was planning on encouraging, if only to make a clean exit), or by simply saying that he was taking a lecturing job at whatever university was currently asking for him.
The other thing Nicky worried privately worried about was the fact that Spencer would regularly not sleep. He used cases as excuses, but it was clear that he just didn’t like sleep. But since he still swore off drugs, and rarely drank more than a glass of wine, he wasn’t following Booker’s footsteps and becoming a drunkard. No, he would force himself into staying awake for days at a time.
And it terrified Nicky. Yes, they could survive without sleep for longer periods of time (especially during wartime), but they still needed to rest. And Spencer didn’t do it.
The previous morning, before meeting Spencer at Central Park, he and Joe had discussed it, and they both figured they might have known the cause. He was dreaming of Quynh. And if so, then he was going to suffer like this for years to come.
“Habibi?”
Nicky blinked himself out of his thoughts. He hadn’t realized they were back at the car, nor that Nile had been trying to get his attention.
“My apologies,” he said, half smile gracing his face. “I was just thinking about Spencer.”
Nile let out a scoff. “Derek always said that boy was a trouble magnet. He owes me twenty bucks. I did say it would get him killed one day.”
Joe and Nicky quickly shared a look, then burst into laughter. Neither expected Nile to already be filling the hole that Booker wouldn’t fill for the next one hundred years. But making bets about death, that was right up Booker’s alley.
Joe climbed into the driver’s seat of their rented little car, still smothering his giggles. “How well do you know this Derek, Nile?”
“Pretty well. We grew up near each other. He’s older by about ten years, but he kept an eye out for me and Layne growing up. Kept us away from the gangs, so we wouldn’t make the same mistakes he almost did. His mama is kind too. Always reminded me of my own mama. She hid me when I enlisted and Mama went on a warpath about it.”
Nicky gave her a curious look. “Your mother didn’t want you in the military?”
Nile shrugged. “She was proud of me. It was the fact that I went for the Marines, following in my father’s footsteps. She was terrified I would be killed in action. She wasn’t wrong.”
Nicky didn’t continue down that road of memory. Just reached his hand back and took Nile’s. A show of solidarity.
“If you’re worried that Derek would go to my family, he won’t. More than anything, Derek knows the meaning of keeping secrets. He won’t say anything unless he has to, and that would be under duress.”
Joe nodded. “Well, at least Spencer has someone he can talk to about everything. Finally.”
“He doesn't come with you on jobs? But he is immortal like us, right?”
Nicky gave her a rueful smile. “Yes, he is immortal. That was why you were dreaming of him. But he doesn’t want to leave his job just yet. He’s doing good in ways that work for him. As long as he doesn’t get hurt or die in the line of duty, no one will know for at least another five years.”
“It helps that even though we die, everything eventually goes back to the way our bodies were when we died,” Joe added. “His hair was pretty long when he was killed, so he can cut it and hide the fact that he hasn’t aged past twenty five.”
Nile blinked. “Twenty five? He’s my age?”
“Well, yes. He was twenty five when he died. He’s about to turn thirty, in October. But he doesn't really celebrate it. Never really has. That’s a story he’ll have to tell you though.”
“Oh. So, I’m older than him. My birthday is next week. So I’m not the baby!” Nile burst into cheers, making both the other immortals laugh. It was wonderful to see her smile.
After a few minutes, as they slowly made their way out of the city, she calmed down.
“Question. Why are you guys so worried about him?”
Nicky shared a quick glance at Joe before answering. “Spencer is an old soul, not unlike myself. He doesn’t sleep well, and so we - I - worry. His job is very important to him, and I don’t want him getting hurt, or someone else getting hurt because he missed something while exhausted.”
“Doesn't he sleep? Is it the nightmares?”
Joe sighed. “Maybe? It’s something he never shared with either of us. If he spoke to anyone about his dreams, it would have been with Booker. And since that traitor isn’t going to be around for the next century, either he’s going to have to confide in one of us, or find another outlet.”
Nile looked troubled, but she didn’t voice her own opinion on that matter. Nicky didn’t take it to heart. He knew she felt that one hundred years was excessive. He’d privately agreed, and had asked for twenty. But Joe was adamant, and he wasn’t going to go against his husband. But he’d wear him down to twenty before long.
A text tone coming from Nicky’s phone kept the silence from becoming awkward. It was a quick message.
Case in Vegas. Will probably be out of contact. It’s going to be bad.
Nile’s phone followed with a text of her own, though she declined to share it. She looked almost troubled at what she saw, though.
Joe and Nicky shared one of their looks, having an entire conversation with just subtle eye movements and micro expressions. It helped that traffic had come to a standstill.
“Nile, would you mind terribly if we headed to Vegas? There’s more to this than what he’s saying.”
“What Nicky isn’t saying,” Joe interjected, “is that Spencer will probably need us. He never says if a case will be bad. It’s code for a personal reason.”
The young woman grinned. “Sure. I’ve always wanted to go broke in Las Vegas.” Then she gave them a grin. “Say, have you guys gotten married there? It would probably make Spencer, and Derek if he could swing it, laugh to see you get married by Elvis.”
Both men paused. No, never in Vegas, mostly because of the clichés. But if it would make everyone happy... They’d have to ask Copley to quickly forage some documents for them, since their normal forger would be out of reach for several years.
Joe snickered. “Hey Nicolo, marry me?” He held out one of his many rings, which was actually Nicky’s latest wedding ring. He didn’t wear it when they were on missions, because it threw off his aim with his sniper rifle, just enough to be a problem. He’d forgotten to take it back.
This worked too.
“Of course, tesoro . Nile, do not text Spencer yet. We shall surprise him in Las Vegas.”
The younger woman nodded, then curled up in the back seat to catch a nap while they were in traffic. At least she took to heart the sleeping whenever possible trick.
Nicky was still worried about Spencer, but hopefully they could ease his worry, together.