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John Sheppard ended the phone call mid-conversation with a vicious stab of the button. He swept out of the office, blindly heading for the nearest transporter. Selecting a destination randomly on the map he was soon conveyed to a remote tower on the East Pier. He entered the room at the end of the corridor and stepped out onto the balcony, barely noticing where he was. He dimly registered that he’d walked away from Evan Lorne after finishing his call without saying anything to his second in command, despite the fact that they’d been in the middle of a conversation when his cell had rung.
Dazed and shocked, he stared unseeingly at the mainland and the distant Golden Gate Bridge, gleaming brightly in the sunshine. Six weeks until Atlantis’ planned return to the Pegasus Galaxy, two weeks until the repeal of DADT and - right up until the ‘phone call - he’d believed that, for once in his life, things were finally going his way.
He slammed his hand down onto the balcony railing, howling in pain and despair, the cellphone flying out of his grasp and spinning down towards the pier below.
***
Rodney McKay sighed with annoyance as he made his way back to his temporary office. He hadn’t really wanted to leave Atlantis but General Jack O’Neill had requested his assistance at Area 51 with some technology being developed to upgrade the equipment on all of the Daedalus class ships. After a couple of days, Rodney had found he was actually enjoying himself. The scientists and engineers Jack had sourced for the team were actually pretty competent and Rodney had been impressed at the advances they had made interfacing the Ancient technology available on Atlantis with the upgraded computers on the ships.
He’d been extremely surprised when O’Neill had offered him a permanent job leading the team. He knew it was important work and that he had more skills and knowledge of the Atlantis’ technology than the scientists on site but, at the same time, he loved his life on Atlantis and didn’t want to give it up despite the draw of being able to work somewhere peaceful where no-one was trying to kill him on an almost daily basis. Once, it would have been his idea of heaven but now? No. He had to admit that he enjoyed the thrill of working on Atlantis, of being on a gate team, and he’d grown to like, if not love, the people he worked with on a daily basis.
He’d turned O’Neill down and, still chuckling, had rung Sheppard immediately to tell him. He wasn’t sure whether John had actually hung up on him deliberately or whether something had come up on Atlantis but, try as he might, he couldn’t get through again. So, he refilled his coffee mug before sitting back down. He had a lot to finish up before he returned to Atlantis the following day.
***
John knew he couldn’t stay on the balcony forever; it wouldn’t be long before someone came to see why he was hiding away. Already several people had tried calling him on the radio and he had, finally, responded to Evan Lorne, explained about losing his cell and assured him he was okay and would be back soon. But that had been two hours ago.
He sighed deeply, cradling his injured hand against his stomach. Numb from the shock of the call, he hadn’t really felt the pain at first but there was now a deep ache in his wrist and hand which matched the ache in his heart. At least it was his left hand, although he would still need to come up with an explanation as to how he’d injured it, along with why he needed a new cellphone. He was just glad that Ronon and Teyla weren’t around. Along with a forward team of Atlantis veterans, they had returned to Pegasus via the newly reconstructed Midway Station in order to make contact with Atlantis’ allies and advise them that, after just over two and a half years on Earth, Atlantis would be returning to the galaxy. He knew the other two members of his team would have been able to see through him easily. He was pretty sure that Lorne would too, but at least he knew Evan wouldn’t call him on it.
He made his way wearily back to the transporter.
***
Rodney frowned as he set down his cellphone. He’d tried calling John four times over the past couple of hours and each time the recorded message told him that the number he was calling was unavailable. It wasn’t like John to be out of contact. He stood for a moment, considering, before picking it up again and selecting a different number.
”Lorne.”
“Lorne, it’s McKay. I’ve been trying to get hold of Sheppard all afternoon but his cell’s unavailable. Is everything okay?”
”Hi Rodney. Everything’s fine. He had a little accident and dropped his cell off a balcony. Can I give him a message?
“Trust Sheppard. No, it’s alright. As long as there’s nothing wrong there. Tell him I’ll see him sometime tomorrow.”
“Sure, will do—“
Rodney ended the call without waiting to hear any more. He shook his head. Quite what Sheppard had been doing Rodney couldn’t guess. He knew John wasn’t a fan of his cellphone and wouldn’t have put it past him to disable it deliberately. He’d been getting fed up with all the calls from Washington in the weeks leading up to their departure.
He set to work to finalize the reports he’d been working on. He still had to pack up everything from his temporary office and his quarters. He would need to make an early start in the morning if he wanted to make Atlantis by nightfall.
***
John decided to return to his quarters first, grabbing an ice pack from his first aid kit and holding it against his hand for ten minutes before wrapping as well as he could. Finally, he returned to the office, knowing he couldn’t put it off any longer.
As he expected, Lorne was still there, working on the numerous requisition forms in readiness for the return journey. He looked up as John walked in.
“Rodney’s been trying to get hold of you. He said you hung up on him, he wasn’t very happy.” Lorne advised with a chuckle.
John sighed. “I don’t know why he’s not happy, O’Neill’s offered him a job heading the project refitting the Daedalus class ships. He sounded enthusiastic about it. Has he been in contact with Radek?”
“Not to my knowledge but, seriously, Rodney leaving Atlantis? I didn’t think anyone could pry him away from the city; it’s his baby.”
“Apparently he’d rather stay on Earth than return to Pegasus,” John replied moodily, throwing himself into his chair and wincing as it jarred his hand.
“Want me to take a look at that? Or at least bind it up properly?” Lorne offered.
John held out his hand resignedly and Lorne unwrapped the binding, whistling when he saw the purple bruising.
“You really did a number on it, didn’t you, what on earth happened?”
“I hit my hand a bit too hard on a balcony railing,” John admitted. “My cellphone was in my hand at the time and it bounced out.”
Lorne, somewhat wisely, didn’t offer a response to that. He stood and retrieved a tube of cream from the first aid cupboard and smeared some over the injury.
“There, that should help with the bruising,” he said softly as he gently wrapped the bandage around John’s hand.
“Thanks,” John replied as he got to his feet. “I’m going to see Radek.”
***
Rodney collected his luggage and made his way out of the airport, fully expecting to see a young Airman waiting for him as was usually the case. He was surprised, therefore, to see Evan Lorne and Radek Zelenka heading towards him. Immediately, he started worrying.
“Okay, so this isn’t good. What’s happened? It’s Sheppard isn’t it. That’s why I haven’t been able to get hold of him, it must be bad for both of you to be here.”
“Sheppard’s fine, Rodney, don’t worry,” Lorne assured him as he led them over to the waiting car.
“You are leaving us, and you didn’t even let me know,” Zelenka accused him. “I thought we were friends, Rodney!”
“I’m not … oh for heaven’s sake, he really is an idiot!” Rodney exclaimed as realization set in. “He only listened to part of the conversation and then hung up on me. That’s what all this avoidance is about isn’t it? Don’t tell me, he smashed his fist against the wall and threw his cellphone down in a fit of pique.”
“I believe it was a balcony railing,” Lorne grinned in obvious relief. “The cellphone went over the balcony at the same time.”
“And did our drama queen send the two of you here on his behalf or are you here off your own backs?” Rodney frowned at them as climbed into the car.
“He does not know we are here,” Zelenka admitted. “We knew what flight you were on so decided to come and speak to you directly. John is behaving like a bear with a sore head.”
Rodney rolled his eyes, why hadn’t he guessed this would happen?
“I really should have realized when he cut me off and I couldn’t get hold of him again. Seriously, what is wrong with him? I thought it would make him laugh, with O’Neill offering me a position on Earth. I mean does he really think that after all this time on Atlantis and being on a gate team I would be happy stuck underground working on mundane tech at Area 51 just as Atlantis is about to return to Pegasus!”
“I did not think you would want to give up Atlantis and I, for one, am glad you are staying. I do not want the responsibility,” Zelenka retorted.
Lorne grinned at him. “You know Sheppard’s going to be impossible until you’ve straightened this out, don’t you?”
“Don’t worry, that’s the first thing I’m going to do. Does he know I’m on my way back?”
“Well, I did give him your message but didn’t tell him what time your flight was,” Lorne replied.
“Good, good. I’ll have the element of surprise. Hopefully he’ll let me speak before he turns on me,” Rodney said.
Lorne pulled the vehicle into the hangar where the Puddlejumper was parked, its invisibility cloak engaged. Opening the hatch, they boarded and were soon on their way back to Atlantis.
***
John mooched aimlessly around the city, sticking to areas he wasn’t likely to bump into anyone. It wasn’t that he didn’t have anything to do, he just lacked the enthusiasm to want to do it. With Ronon and Teyla returning to Pegasus just over a month ago and then Rodney being asked to go to Area 51 for two weeks he’d been feeling at a complete loose end. The fact that Rodney might not be returning to Pegasus had never crossed his mind and he was unsettled with how much that shocked and upset him.
Everything he’d done since he first stepped through the Stargate had been done with Rodney at his side. They’d saved their people, saved Atlantis and saved each other more times than John could remember. If it wasn’t for Rodney, he knew he wouldn’t be around today and, dammit, he was in love with Rodney. It had taken him a long time to admit it, even to himself. He had a suspicious feeling that Ronon and Teyla had guessed and that even Zelenka and Lorne had picked up on it. The only person who hadn’t seen through him was Rodney. At least he didn’t think so and, if he had, he’d never mentioned anything or given John any indication that his feelings were reciprocated.
He knew it wouldn’t be an issue on Atlantis. Although DADT was still two weeks away from being officially repealed it was just a formality. Right from the start the non-military personnel and non-American members of the military had formed same sex couples and, even back in Pegasus, John had turned a blind eye to members of the American military contingent. People were more open now, even Evan Lorne had officially acknowledged his relationship with David Parrish.
John stood on the end of the East Pier, arms crossed, staring once again across the Pacific Ocean towards where the Golden Gate Bridge was glowing in the evening sun. Somewhere over there was Rodney, on his way back to collect his belongings to start a new life while John stayed here and returned Atlantis to her home in another galaxy. Could he really do this without Rodney? He stared up and closed his eyes as he felt the soft ripple of a Puddlejumper entering the shield and uncloaking itself before landing.
***
Rodney checked the life signs detector Lorne had given him and sighed as he saw where John was. Trust the man to be so far away from the nearest building and the nearest transporter. He left the tower and started the long walk to the end of the Pier. The evening sun was low on the western horizon, bathing San Francisco in a golden light and making the bridge look as if it was on fire.
As he got closer, he could see that John was just standing, arms crossed defensively, staring towards the mainland. He frowned, realizing that John should be able to hear him. He wasn’t making any effort to be quiet. But John showed no sign of noticing that someone was coming up behind him, a major red flag in Rodney’s book. It meant that either John was so deep in thought that he didn’t hear him, or that he was so relaxed that he didn’t care someone was there. But he didn’t look anywhere near relaxed.
“You know, you really are an idiot, Sheppard,” Rodney remarked conversationally.
John swung round in alarm, relaxing only minutely when he saw Rodney.
“I’m the idiot?” John replied derisively. “Aren’t you the one giving up Atlantis and the Pegasus Galaxy to go and play with toys at Area 51?”
Rodney rolled his eyes. It was going to be harder than he thought.
“Listen, Sheppard, if you hadn’t hung up on me and then thrown your cellphone off a balcony in a girlish snit, I was about to tell you that I thought O’Neill was insane to actually think that I would trade Atlantis for that.” His voice softened. “John, my life is here, on Atlantis and maybe with you?”
He watched John carefully, seeing him stiffen, a fleeting look of hope in his eyes before the shutters came down leaving John staring at him warily.
Rodney sighed, dropping to the ground and swinging his legs over the end of the pier. He patted the ground next to him, relieved when John sat down cautiously beside him.
“Maybe I should have bought beer,” Rodney muttered. Turning to John he started off carefully.
“Look, you and I have known each other a long time. I like to think we’ve pretty much been friends ever since we stepped through the Stargate. We both did our part to save Atlantis in those early days and we’ve done it countless times since, together. We’ve saved each other’s’ lives, we saved other people’s lives, we’ve saved Atlantis. But we’ve always done it together,” Rodney remarked patiently.
“Lorne and Zelenka came to meet me. Radek was worried that I was deserting him, they thought their mission was to try and persuade me to stay,” Rodney explained. “But it made me think. In all the time I’ve known you, you’ve never dated. I mean apart from sex with glowy ancients, but I’m not counting that. It made me stop and think of who you spend your downtime with. Apart from when you’re sparring, or running, you’re either with me, or the team as a whole, including me.”
“Rodney—”
“No, hear me out here because I think maybe I’ve been the idiot,” Rodney sighed. “Look, I’m not good at this, but I realized something. Both when I was going out with Katie and with Jennifer, I still wanted to spend time with you. They both teased me about it but you’re my friend, why wouldn’t I want to spend time with you? Then, when I was infected with that second childhood bug, I may have told Jennifer that I loved her, but you were the one I wanted near me because I felt safe with you. You were the one I ran to in the night when I was scared. And you were there, John, always by my side.” Rodney stared off towards the mainland, but he could see John out of the corner of his eye.
“Over the past few years, we’ve spent hours of our free time together. Either with the team or just the two of us. How often have you sat patiently in your quarters reading while I’ve been sitting there finishing off something so we can watch a movie, play a game, or just sat and talked. When you think about it, how many people have commented that we’re like an old married couple?”
He stopped and took a deep breath.
“I may be a genius, but personal relationships are not my area of expertise. Maybe I should have seen this a long time ago but somewhere on that ‘jumper between San Francisco and Atlantis, I realized that I love you and not as a friend loves another friend. I’m in love with you, John Sheppard, and I think that you’re in love with me.” He broke off and stared at John determinedly, not allowing the other man to look away.
There was silence, and the silence stretched out, but it wasn’t an awkward silence. Eventually, John took a deep breath and sighed.
“You’re right, I am,” he admitted. “Maybe you’re not quite as bad at relationships as you think,” he smiled cautiously.
“Hmm, I’m not so sure about that, but maybe I do know you,” Rodney replied, staring directly at John.
John gave an uncharacteristically shy smile. “Yeah, maybe you do,” he agreed softly.
“Well then, what are we waiting for.” Rodney reached out and pulled John towards him. Their first kiss was soft and gentle, just a brief press of their lips. They drew apart and Rodney stared deeply into John’s eyes before pulling him close again and kissing him soundly.
Eventually John pulled back, his breathing ragged. “Maybe we ought to take this somewhere more private,” he suggested. “If you’ve just flown back with Lorne and Zelenka there’s a pretty good chance at least one of them is keeping watch.”
Rodney laughed. “Your place or mine?” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, loving the familiar honking laughter he received in response. He’d missed that laugh.
“Perhaps it better be yours,” John replied. “After all, you’re the one with the bigger bed.”
END