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Martha comes to Torchwood.
Owen dies three days later.
Tosh is…
Tosh isn't okay with it. Not at all. She loves Owen, or the idea of him at the very least, and the mere fact that she likes him more now that he's dead is awful. She hates herself for it and hates Owen even more, because it's only now that there's absolutely no chance for them that he becomes nice.
Story of her life, really.
Martha leaves Torchwood days after Owen dies. He's not the same man Tosh fell in love with, closer to the idea she'd imagined loving her right back, and it feels… off. Or, no, not off, not really, but Tosh has been falling out of love with Owen for months now—ever since Tommy—ever since Diane—ever since the epic fuck-up when they were investigating the Church of the Outsiders.
Falling out of love with Owen is like taking a breath of fresh air.
Falling in love with Martha—
It…
It sneaks up on her. They all think Martha's beautiful. When she first came, the four of them stood around for an extra second near the screens of the security cameras, watching her talk with Jack, smiling easily, intimately. Ianto told her later that Martha was kind and easy to talk to, and everyone could see how Owen drooled over finally having another doctor to talk to.
And Tosh likes Martha the first time they meet. Martha listens to her, understands what it's like being a woman in science, dealing not only with arrogant pricks like Owen but with ignorant idiots who would rather order them around for tea and coffee than have a face-to-face conversation. But Martha's also soft, just soft enough to smile warmly at Tosh when she mentions her family, but also damaged enough to praise Tosh for the coldhearted way she uses her computers.
How can she not fall in love with Martha?
How can she not notice it?
Tosh doesn't notice it because Martha is kind and attentive to everyone. She sneaks in under their armor and makes everyone want to smile, teases people while making them feel seen and not threatened, offers a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen without being overbearing or patronizing.
Tosh falls in love because Martha is patient and easy to be around. Because she faces problems head-on, confidently, and there's something about her that tells Tosh she has been here before. She's faced something worse, much worse, and she's back for more.
Falling in love with Martha is easy.
Martha comes to Torchwood.
Jack calls her sometimes, and sometimes Gwen. Sometimes it's Ianto, sometimes Owen. And sometimes, when she gets over the schoolgirl fear that Martha will find out about her crush, it's Tosh.
She never asks Martha to visit, but Martha does anyway, always offering to stay at a hotel, always keeping her distance, waiting for Tosh to make the move. Challenging her, daring Tosh to take what she wants—it's not a game, not really, because Martha wants, too, she wants and she lets Tosh know, but she will never take that extra step, protecting her own heart under the guise of giving Tosh time to pursue the relationship at her own pace.
It's her own business, in a way, the way she flirts and romances. She's confident and distant, but never too confident, never too distant, always human and soft and open.
Tosh never asks Martha to visit, until she does. She calls and hears Martha's voice—and needs to see her face, hear her without the faint whisper of phone lines covering the hints of humor or tenderness that are easy to miss in Martha's voice.
So Martha comes to Torchwood.
And Tosh meets her at the train station, holding flowers in one hand and trying to stop herself from picking at them with the other. An impulsive purchase—a street vendor, a bouquet of mixed flowers with just the right combinations of purple and blue to make Tosh think of Martha, baby's breath floating just above the tissue paper holding it together.
It feels like too much, but then it isn't.
Because Martha steps off the train and her face lights up when their eyes meet, and then her eyes trail down to notice the flowers, and there's something almost brittle—like hand-made sugar candy—in them, in the surprise at such a small gift, that makes Tosh never want to stop showing Martha her appreciation.
But that's alright. It hurts when Martha voices her surprise at the flowers, jokes that Tosh shouldn't have done it in a voice that actually means I didn't expect you do to this small thing for me, even though I do things for you, a voice that says please don't call me out on this, I can't have this be a big deal because it will break my heart if you don't love me like I love you.
It's alright, because Tosh has learned to read Martha, and she will keep reading her, and just like any book on Tosh's shelves, because even with her computers she is undeniably a bookworm—she will always come back for more, always fall in love just a little bit more when she reads the same book over again, looking between the lines, finding more and more things to love every day.