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Not Today, Thank You

Summary:

It’s just another day, Punz tells himself. Just another fight.

Of course, taking jobs with his brother always put him on edge.

Not because of Purpled’s fighting skills. Punz trained his brother himself. He knows his brother fights well.

What really worried Punz is what happens when a mission eventually goes wrong.

Like this one was promising to do.

<< Can be read separate from the other works in this series!>>

Notes:

chapter titles inspired by the C418 songs by the same name!

Chapter 1: Wet Hands

Summary:

Uh oh

Chapter Text

It’s just another day, Punz tells himself. Just another fight.

Of course, taking jobs with his brother always put him on edge. 

Not because of Purpled’s fighting skills. Punz trained his brother himself. He knows his brother fights well.

What really worried Punz is what happens when a mission eventually goes wrong.

Like this one was promising to do.

The job paid well, so Punz took it without thinking. Purpled did the same, showing up to the rendezvous with his current work partner, an iron golem hybrid with roses growing up her arm. Hannah, Punz remembered. They’d met a few times before, and Purpled seemed to like fighting by her side, or at least more than most people he paired up with.

However, Punz is starting to regret it now. There were more people here at the camp than he expected, and while that wasn’t usually a problem, Punz is starting to get tired of them popping out of unexpected spots.

Also, he thinks as he notices Purpled’s shield breaking as one of the bandits slams an axe downwards onto it, Purpled yelping in surprise as he rolls away, the bandits seemed better prepared than he was expecting.

Though, he reassesses as he throws his axe at the bandit attacking his brother, at least they’re getting through the crowd okay.

Hannah runs through the crowd, twirling and slicing through the bandits with her sword gracefully. She smiles as she does so, picking up Punz’s axe and sliding it across the ground, and he picks it up, giving her a thankful nod.

Purpled gives Punz a nod and a smile before his eyes widen as he notices something and suddenly his brother is running after Hannah, shouting.

Punz turns his gaze to see what Purpled saw: an archer taking aim for Hannah as she slices through two of his friends.

Punz stares, eyes wide, as Purpled runs, shield broken, towards Hannah.

“Purpled!” He shouts, voice hoarse from yelling, but his brother pays him no mind, and Punz can only watch in horror as the arrow flies, Hannah’s eyes going wide as she notices, and Purpled reaching Hannah just in time for the arrow to hit.

Punz screams wordlessly as he runs towards his younger brother. Hannah grabs her own bow and fires it at the attacker, hitting him straight in the middle of the forehead, and he disappears in a red flash.

Punz lands sharply on his knees, cradling his brother’s head as Hannah tears away the sleeve of Purpled’s jacket to reveal the extent of the injury. Punz looks around them, hand on the hilt of his blade, but it seems they got them all: the archer was the last of their enemies.

And the most dangerous, Punz thinks as he takes a closer look at the wound.

For the most part, it looks like a normal arrow wound, something Punz would be able to treat easily on any other day.

At the base of the arrow, however, Punz watches as a blue tinge spreads from the puncture, veins around it turning an unnatural shade of cyan.

“What… what is that?” Hannah asks quietly, and Punz shakes his head. 

“I don’t know.”

Purpled groans as he looks at it. “Doesn’t look good,” he says.

“Why did you do that?” Hannah and Punz ask at the same time, Punz angrily as he pushes down the fear threatening to spill over; Hannah horrified and voice wobbling with unshed tears.

“Hannah’s done it for me, many times. Thought it was just a normal arrow. Just my luck the one time I try to do something nice, it completely backfires,” Purpled says, rolling his eyes like it was nothing.

Hannah grimaces as the blue seems to spread. “Punz, get me a gapple. Let’s try to stop this before it gets any worse.”

Punz opens his backpack, rummaging for the golden fruit as Hannah rips off the rest of Purpled’s sleeve.

Purpled watches on in distaste. “I like this jacket. This jacket was expensive. Do you know how hard it’s going to be to get another one like it?”

“You won’t need another one like it if you keep complaining and I don’t try to stop the flow of this poison,” Hannah retorts.

Punz pulls out the golden apple carefully, taking his knife and cutting it into slices before handing them to Purpled.

“I can eat an apple!” Purpled complains.

“You’re right-handed, and the arrow hit your right arm. You’re not moving that any time soon if we don’t get this under control quickly,” Punz says sharply.

Purpled rolls his eyes and accepts the apple slices. as Hannah shreds the sleeve into long bands of fabric.

Punz watches as his brother eats one, two, three, then the last slice, keeping a careful eye on the poison.

It doesn’t improve, Punz notices with a sinking heart. If anything, it just seems to be continuing on its steady decline in condition. He lets out a shaky breath as he sighs nervously.

Purpled stares at it as well, purple eyes flickering from his brother to the wound nervously. “Why isn’t it getting better?” He asks, the tinge of fear in his voice causing a pool of guilt to form in Punz’s stomach.

“Get a god apple,” Hannah says, tensely, as she wraps the fabric around Purpled’s upper arm, just above the arrowhead.

“He only has one left,” Purpled says, and Punz can tell by the way his brother still looks scared that the only reason why his voice sounds calm is that he’s forcing it to be that way.

“I can buy another,” Punz says roughly, digging into his bag with a passion.

Hannah tugs the fabric tightly around Purpled’s arm, and Punz winces as his brother lets out a hiss of pain.

Grabbing the enchanted fruit, Punz pulls it out carefully. “Do you want me to cut this one up?” He asks, and Purpled looks up at him, nodding quietly.

Punz complies, trying to keep his hands from shaking as he hands Purpled the slices, one at a time, keeping an eye on the wound.

“Hannah, will you take the arrow out?” Punz says, voice soft, and he almost curses himself for all of this: taking the job, letting Purpled take the job, letting Purpled get hurt like this.

She nods, using a knife to carefully cut some of the skin around the barbs of the arrowhead, and Purpled hisses.

To Punz’s horror, he watches as the blood streaming from the wound and where Hannah cuts is blue, the way prismarine and diamonds were.

“It doesn’t hurt, thanks to this,” Purpled says, lifting the last slice as he brings it to his lips. “Or at least not bad.”

“That’s good,” Punz mumbles, watching as Hannah pulls the arrow free, dropping it when she’s done and grabbing bandages, even though they both know that once the god apple hits, the bleeding will stop quickly.

“How do you feel?” Punz asks, staring at the blue tinge of the bandage.

“Not… super good? Kinda queasy to be honest,” Purpled says, looking at the wound, and the three of them sit for a moment in silence as the blue pulses, the tinge continuing to spread down Purpled’s veins.

“Shit,” Punz says, dread pooling in his gut.

“Shit,” Purpled and Hannah repeat.

Purpled groans as he leans his head back. “Let’s at least get somewhere safe to deal with this, huh? Carry me.”

Punz tries to crack a smile, but he has a feeling that both of them can tell that it’s fake, and he hurries to lift Purpled in his arms, careful with his brother’s arm.

Shit , he thinks to himself. Shit shit shit shit.