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Yuri was finishing putting his boxes in the room that was now officially his. It would be his first weekend living with Yuuri and Victor. He was excited, not that he would ever tell them. He could already see Yuuri insisting to help him put his stuff away. But for tonight, it was enough. He’ll have time after training tomorrow to organize his things. He had brought Potya a few times over during the week so she could get accustomed to the apartment and Makkachin.
Yuri had been a little worried about how his cat would react to the dog, but everything went better than he expected. Potya liked the apartment almost right away and Makkachin was following her around everywhere she went. They were cute.
Yuri went to the living room where Yuuri and Victor were sitting on the couch with a tv show on. Potya was lounging on the floor with Makkachin curled around her back.
‘’All done for tonight?’’ Yuuri asked him when he saw him.
‘’Yeah. I’ll finish everything else this weekend.”
“I’ll start diner then.” Victor announced with a smile.
Just as he was about to get up, Kastudon’s phone started ringing. Katsudon took it out of his pocket with a frown.
“It’s Yuuko.” He announced the frown melting into a smile.
Yuuri answered the call and started talking Japanese quickly. Yuri had learned a few words here and there, but there was no point in him trying to understand what they were saying. They were talking way too fast.
Victor went to the kitchen and Yuri sat on the floor next to Makkachin and Potya. Yuri was petting his cat and listening to Victor humming in the kitchen when Yuuri hung up a few minutes later.
‘’Victor!’’ Yuuri called as he pocketed his phone.
Yuri looked up at him with a raised eyebrow.
“Yes, Yuuri.” Victor said as he came back to the living room.
“I’ll have to go to Japan this weekend. I leave tomorrow morning and I’ll be back Monday probably.”
Yuri’s eyes widened at this announcement.
“What’s going on? Is Yuuko alright?” Victor asked, worried.
“Everyone is ok, but some National skater who was supposed to come and teach the kids bailed on her, she asked me if I could replace them.” Yuuri explained.
“Do you want us to come with you?” Victor asked.
Yuri nodded fervently as he got up. Already packing in his head. Going to Japan for a few days could be fun. Skating at Ice Castle was always soothing.
“No, it’s ok,” Yuuri reassured them. “The season starts soon and you both need to concentrate on your training. I’ll be back before you know it.” Yuuri said with a smile.
“Ok love. Now come on, it’s time to eat.”
Yuri followed them to the dining table, lost in his thoughts. He was a little disappointed that Yuuri wouldn’t be here for his first weekend living with them. But he understood, he also couldn’t say no to Yuuko if she asked him almost anything.
***
The next morning, they were all up early so they could accompany Yuuri to the airport. They waited with him until it was time for him to board his plane. Victor clinging to him until the very last minute.
“If you want, I’ll help you settle when I come back.” Yuuri told him as they said their goodbyes.
Yuri snorted. He would probably be finished before Yuuri came back. If only to have something to occupy himself with.
“Don’t have too much fun in Japan.” Yuri huffed with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Don’t worry. Yuuko will probably make me work as soon as I get there. And I’ll probably have Minako follow me around. Asking everything about my training.” Yuuri said with a fond smile.
“Keep the katsudon to a minimum.” Yuri added.
“Yeah. I’ll do that.” Yuuri laughed. “Hug?” He asked after a few seconds.
Yuri thought about it for a moment. They were in public and he had a reputation to uphold, but it was still early, and the airport was mostly empty. He nodded and wrapped his arms tightly around Yuuri. He had gotten taller in the past year and he was almost as tall as the older skater now. Yuri let go of the hug first.
They said their goodbyes and Victor kissed Yuuri one last time before he really had to go.
“Let’s go back home.” Victor said with a sigh when Yuuri was out of sight.
Yuri nodded. Maybe he’ll catch some more sleep before training this afternoon. It was weird being in the apartment without Yuuri. Just seeing Victor without Yuuri next to him was weird. The two are always near each other. The day went by as usual. Training was good, Yuri sent some pictures and selfies to Otabek. He answered a few messages from his friends. He missed them, but Yuuri was right, the next season was right around the corner and they had to be ready. Yuri was also crossing his fingers that he’ll get to compete at the same event as Otabek. It would be the first time seeing each other in person since the last Grand Prix.
After training, Victor and he walked back to the apartment and they ate diner, exchanging few words about where they were in their training and how everything was going.
“What do you want to do this evening?” Victor asked him as they were doing the dishes.
“I don’t know. Maybe start putting my stuff away in my wardrobe.” Yuri said with a shrug.
“Do you want some help?”
“Not really. I can manage.” Yuri said.
Victor stayed silent for a moment. Yuri almost expected the conversation to end there.
“You would’ve let Yuuri help you.” Victor said out of the blue.
Yuri didn’t say anything. It wasn’t a question and Yuri didn’t want to have that conversation if Victor didn’t state it explicitly. Victor didn’t add anything else and they finished the dishes in silence. Victor dried his hands and turned to look at Yuri.
“Why are you more comfortable with Yuuri?” Victor asked, looking straight into Yuri’s eyes.
Yuri took a deep breath. Ok, they were doing this tonight.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you have a good relationship now. It’s just… we’ve known each other for so long and…” Victor trailed off with a frown.
It was almost like he didn’t know what point he was trying to make.
“Can we sit at the table. I don’t really want to have this conversation standing in the kitchen.” Yuri said.
“Sure.”
As they got comfortable at the kitchen table, Potya and Makkachin joined them. Potya jumped on Yuri’s knees and settled down with a stretch. Makkachin lied down at Victor’s feet under the table.
“I don’t really know where to begin.” Yuri said as he petted Potya behind her ears.
“Take your time. I’ll listen to everything you have to say.”
“First of all, you know I’m grateful for everything you did for me, right?” Yuri asked a bit unsure.
“Of course. I know you don’t say it out loud, but I get it.”
“It’s just… you said it yourself we’ve known each other for a long time. And we started our relationship with you being the best skater in Russia and me trying so hard to get on your level.” Yuri explained.
“Do you feel like I don’t see you as my equal? Or are you saying you see Yuuri as inferior to you?” Victor asked with a frown.
“No! It’s not like that!” Yuri protested.
Maybe at the start of their relationship, he looked down at Yuuri Katsuki, but he didn’t know the man yet. He didn’t know what he went through or what he felt. He had a lot of respect for the older skater and he knew Yuuri was aware of that.
“For so long I had the feeling I had to be better than anyone else if I wanted to have your attention, Victor.” Yuri admitted after a moment.
Victor’s eyes widened at that.
“It’s probably why I sometimes think I have to be perfect or you won’t want to have anything to do with me.”
“What? But why would we invite you to stay with us if I was thinking like that?” Victor asked in disbelief.
“I don’t know!” Yuri exclaimed. “Maybe because you want to make Yuuri happy.”
“Yuri. I assure you I want you here just as much as Yuuri.”
“Yeah. That’s what Katsudon told me. And most of the time I believe that. But there’s still this little part of me that isn’t so sure.”
“I’m sorry if I ever made you felt like you had to be perfect. I’m sorry for putting pressure on you without noticing it.”
“The more I spend time with you the easier it gets to let go of that fear. But sometimes, I’ll think back to last year… I had to chase you to Japan because you forgot about your promise. I know it’s probably not that big of a deal, especially now that I know how forgetful you are, but put yourself in place. I was fifteen and it was quite a big rejection.” Yuri explained. "You stayed in Japan and I had to go back to Russia all alone."
Victor looked down at his hands with defeat. Yuri felt bad to make Victor feel like that, but it was the first time he vocalized what he had felt last year about this particular event. A big weight a been lifted off his shoulders.
“I can admit that last year I’ve been selfish. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you. I’m sorry Yuri.” Victor said after a moment.
Yuri nodded. “Thank you for saying that. I didn’t know I needed to hear it.”
“I won’t ask you to tell me everything. If you feel more comfortable opening up to Yuuri that’s fine. But if I make you feel like you’re not good enough, please tell me. Because I assure you, I don’t want you to feel like that.”
“I’ll try. But I’m sure most of it is just me that needs to work through some things. My fear of failure isn’t only associated with you.” Yuri said with a sad smile.
They stayed silent for a moment, looking at each other. It was a comfortable silence. Yuri felt better now that he told Victor about some of his worries.
“You don’t have to give me an answer right now, but I want you to think about what I’m about to say. Maybe going to therapy could help you.” Victor said. “It can help Yuri. I went when I had my senior debut.”
Yuri couldn’t tell Victor that he thought about it from time to time. Being a professional athlete at such a young age would take a toll on almost anybody.
“I’d like to talk about it with Katsudon before giving you an answer. I think we have similar feelings of anxiety.” Yuri admitted after a moment.
“Sure, no problem.” Victor said with a smile.
Victor got up and went to Yuri. He put his hand on his shoulder and squeezed it lightly.
“It’s ok to say you miss him.” Victor said.
Yuri rolled his eyes. Victor was right, but he shared enough of his emotions for tonight.
“Shut up old man.” He said with a frown that bordered on a pout.
“Ok, I’ll leave it alone. Do you want to watch a movie?” He asked with a laugh.
“Sure. But we can’t watch the latest Netflix movie that came out. I promised Katsudon we could watch it together.”
Yuri saw Victor’s eyes soften at his words, but the old man was a fast learner and said nothing. Maybe Yuri was bummed out that Katsudon wasn’t here for his first weekend at the apartment but spending some time alone with Victor wasn’t as bad as he first thought.
He still couldn’t wait for Katsudon to come back. He had so much to tell him.