Work Text:
“Uh...Annabeth? What are you doing in my cabin?” Percy asked.
Annabeth turned around, and Percy gulped. There was a flush on her cheeks, and Percy now noticed the wine bottle in her hand.
“Seaweed Brain! You’re just the person I need!” Annabeth hiccupped.
Percy gulped. That didn’t sound good. “Um...yay?”
“I need someone to spill facts to!”
“Noooooo,” Percy groaned.
But it was too late.
Annabeth started rambling. “Scotland has 421 words for snow. Armadillo shells are bulletproof. And did you know there are actually fungus that can take over an ant’s mind and control it?”
That actually caught Percy's attention. “Wait, what?”
“Yeah! The tropical fungus Ophiocordyceps infects ants’ central nervous systems. By the time the fungus has been in the insect bodies for nine days, they have complete control over the ants’ movements. They force the ants to climb trees, then convulse and fall into the soil, where fungi thrive. Once there, the fungus waits until exactly noon to force the ant to bite a leaf and kill it.”
“...Whoa.”
“There’s only one letter that isn’t in any U.S. state name. Guess what it is?”
“...I’m dyslexic, Wise Girl.”
“Q!”
“Mmm.”
“And did you know that sugar actually doesn’t make you hyper? It’s just your expectations.”
“Hm.”
“The longest English word is 189, 819 letters long. It would take three and a half hours to say it aloud.”
“That would take me months.”
“The Earth isn’t perfectly round. The North and South poles are actually slightly flat.”
“Interesting.”
“Genes don’t determine race. In fact, there’s more genetic diversity between African people than between Africans and Eurasians.”
“So...all that racism…”
“Humans share 99.9% of genes. Even that 0.1% doesn’t determine your race. So yes, that racism was ridiculous.”
“That’s just embarrassing.”
“Octopi lay about 56,000 eggs at a time. Turkeys can blush. The man with the world’s deepest voice makes sounds humans can’t even hear-but elephants can!”
“Right.”
“There are moonquakes! There were active volcanoes on the moon when dinosaurs existed. The word ‘fizzle’ used to mean ‘to break wind quietly’ in the 1400s. In other words, to quietly fart.”
Percy burst out laughing. “Annabeth, why do you know that?” he chuckled, wiping a tear.
“Human ears and noses never stop growing.”
Percy sobered up. “Does that mean I can get huge ears when I die?” He pursed his lips. “That is, if I even get old.”
“Theodore Roosevelt had a pet hyena and-what did you say?” Annabeth squinted at him.
“Nothing,” Percy said nervously, knowing Annabeth was emotional as well when drunk.
“He also had a one-legged rooster, a small bear, a badger, and a pony,” Annabeth continued. “The Eiffel Tower can grow more than six inches in the summer, due to heat making the iron expand.”
“Cool.”
“Bees can fly higher than the height of Mount Everest, higher than 29,525 feet. Adult cats are lactose intolerant.”
“WHAT? But…”
“Yeah.”
“That’s shocking.”
“You can only feed milk to young cats. The world’s first book ended mid sentence…”
And so it continued.
Percy responded with, “Yeah.” and “Cool.” and “Right.” and “Mmhmm.”
Finally, Percy interrupted her.
“Yo, Wise Girl, y’know another fun fact?”
Annabeth looked at him, rolling her eyes. “If you can tell me something I don’t know, the world is ending.”
Percy just grinned. “Fun fact: I love you.”
Annabeth burst into tears and hugged him. “Seaweed Brain, I love you too!”
Percy winced as his ribs were slowly crushed, but hugged her back. “Yeah, Wise Girl, I know.”
“You didn’t tell me something I didn’t know,” Annabeth mumbled into his chest. “The world’s not ending.”
“Oh yeah? Well, another fun fact, I want to kiss you right now.”
“I knew that.” Annabeth grinned and kissed him.
“Uh...well, I want to get drunk too.”
“What?”
“Ha! Bet you didn’t know that!”
“I know you’re kidding.”
Percy deflated. “Ah, geez. Can you just not know anything?”
“Nope.”
Percy hugged her close and spun her around, loving the way she squealed. He stopped and pulled her even closer, leaving no distance between them.
Their lips met, and Percy felt that happiness again.
It could never get old.
“I love you, Wise Girl,” Percy whispered.
He waited, breathless, for the reply that still made him dizzy.
“I love you too, Seaweed Brain.”