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They’re late arriving to the scene, the rescue already well underway when Carlos pulls up. His heart sinks when he sees the large 126 emblazoned on the side of the firetruck; normally, he loves getting on calls with them, but an active minefield is the last place he wants to find his danger-magnet boyfriend. His only consolation is that TK should be hanging back with the rest of the team, but that doesn’t stop the fear, which, at this point, is just a given.
Only, he can’t find TK anywhere, and Carlos barely listens to the sheriff briefing them, his need to make sure TK’s safe winning out. He and Owen are the only ones missing, including the paramedics, and Carlos - well, Carlos knows what that means. But he refuses to think it, even if he’s only buying himself a few more seconds of relief.
He heads over to the rest of the 126, pointedly not looking at the minefield as he approaches. Paul greets him with a tight nod, then goes back to staring outwards.
Carlos leans in. “Who’s out there?” he murmurs, though he knows, deep down, that it doesn’t need asking.
Someone needs help, and TK’s nowhere to be seen. It’s an easy conclusion.
Paul’s mouth twists into a sympathetic grimace. “Who do you think?”
Carlos squeezes his eyes shut, feels a hand gripping his shoulder. He takes a couple of steadying breaths, then finally - finally - forces himself to look.
He’s just in time to see TK take another leap, and his breath catches in his throat as he watches TK stumble, hand landing perilously close to the edge of the circle. Carlos had thought there’d be nothing worse than watching the man he loves run into burning buildings, but this… This is some kind of torture, the knowledge that TK’s safety - his life - rests almost entirely on pure luck.
“Why’s TK even out there?” he asks, turning his body towards Paul though his eyes remain locked on his boyfriend. It’s a distraction, of a kind, to stop his mind from barrelling down all the worst case scenarios. “Shouldn’t it be a paramedic with Captain Strand?”
“He is one,” Paul answers. “Dual function medic in New York, apparently. Must have kept his certifications up to date since coming out here. Nancy’s out on medical leave after one of the trial medics ran the ambulance over her foot, and Mr Perfect Record over there chickened out. Captain Vega was going to go but then TK, uh.” Paul stops, clearing his throat nervously, and Carlos feels his own heart rate tick up even as he realises with some relief that TK and Owen are almost at the two boys. When Paul speaks again, his voice is quieter, speeding through the words as if he doesn’t want Carlos to hear them. “He volunteered.”
“He what?” And Carlos does look over then, turning to gape at Paul, which is of course when it happens.
One of the mines goes off.
TK’s name rips out of his mouth as he takes an unconscious step forward, though he’s blocked from going further by a hand on his arm yanking him backwards. Carlos lets himself be manhandled, his mind feeling separate from his body as they wait for the smoke to clear.
He can just about see TK crouching on the edge of the blast, an arm flung protectively over his head, which at least means he’s alive. He could still be hurt, though, could still be bleeding out, and Carlos has never felt more helpless.
“Breathe, Reyes,” Judd reminds him, leaning close to his ear, and Carlos manages a tight nod even as he feels his chest seize with anxiety. He clenches his hands into fists to stop the shaking, looking over at Captain Vega, praying for a sign that they’re okay.
Then, “Still in one piece,” Owen reports over the radio, and Carlos’s entire body sags. The rest of the team are wearing similarly relieved expressions, exchanging glances and nervous head shakes. Carlos allows himself a moment to breathe before turning back to the scene, his heart in his throat as TK takes the final few steps towards the two boys.
The rest of the call passes in a blur, Carlos feeling like he’s underwater as he tries to force his body to come down from the anxiety still thrumming through his veins. Pride bursts in his chest when TK saves the boy, but the arrival of the bomb squad sets him on edge again, desperate as he is for TK to be back on safe ground.
He needs to see he’s okay with his own two eyes, and it’s only the team’s grounding presence at his side that stops him from completely losing it.
It’s an agonising wait, the minutes dragging out painfully, but then -
Then, TK’s walking toward them, an exhausted grin lighting up his face. Carlos stands back as he’s immediately mobbed by the rest of the 126, but their eyes meet over the top of Marjan’s head, and Carlos sees his own relief mirrored back at him. As much as TK can be reckless and as much as he seems to gravitate towards danger, Carlos knows he often gets just as scared as he does, especially now they have this. Especially now that they both have so much to lose.
Judd is the first to step away, following the line of TK’s gaze until he spots Carlos. “Hey, come on now, y’all,” he says gruffly to the others. “Let’s give the kid some space, we ain’t the only ones here for him.”
He punctuates it with a tug on Mateo’s arm, and they all begin to disperse. Judd cocks an eyebrow at him as he walks past.
“What are you waiting for? He’s all yours.”
Carlos nods gratefully, then turns his full attention over to TK, quickly closing the short distance between them to crush him in a hug. TK staggers a little under the force of it, but soon enough he’s hugging back just as tightly, hands fisted in the back of Carlos’s jacket. Carlos drops his head to TK’s shoulder, closing his eyes.
He’s okay, he realises. This is real.
TK smiles at him when they separate, though neither of them move too far away. Carlos keeps a hand wrapped around TK’s wrist, his thumb resting on his pulse point.
“Hi,” TK says.
“Are you okay?” Carlos demands, forgoing any greeting. TK laughs, a little taken aback, but Carlos just… He needs to know. He needs to hear it.
“I’m good,” TK promises. “I swear.”
Carlos nods, breaking eye contact to stare at the field, at the crater that could have ended TK’s life. TK must notice, as he’s suddenly in Carlos’s space again, a gentle hand turning his head towards him.
“Are you okay?” he asks, frowning, and Carlos could laugh.
“Am I? Am I? ” He’s aware his voice is bordering on hysterical, but he doesn’t care anymore. He breathes out shakily, scrubbing his free hand down his face. “I’m not the one who just volunteered to walk onto an active fucking minefield, TK!”
He sucks in a breath, clamping his jaw shut before he can say anything else. Carlos can feel the eyes on them and he flushes, staring down at his shoes, trying to blink away the sudden tears. He hadn’t meant to yell, but it had all just been too much all at once, the relief and panic and worry and frustration mixing up inside of him and coming out all wrong.
He shakes his head, preparing to excuse himself, when TK’s arm twists in his grasp, linking their fingers.
“Come on,” he murmurs, and Carlos lets himself be pulled away somewhere more private. The 126 do a good job of appearing busy as they pass, but Carlos knows they’ll be more curious than they’re letting on, and he burns with shame all over again. TK leads him around the back of the truck, pushing Carlos down on the step and sitting down next to him, their joined hands resting on his thigh.
“I’m sorry -” Carlos starts, but TK cuts him off.
“Don’t finish that sentence,” he says. “You don’t need to apologise for anything. God knows if I’d been where you are, I… I don’t know what I would have done.”
Carlos nods. “It was just… When I saw you out there - when the bomb went off - it was the scariest moment of my life, Ty. And then I find out you volunteered? I mean… Why did you?”
“I had to,” TK says, squeezing his hand. “We were just standing around, arguing over who would go, and that kid didn’t have time to wait for us. I knew I could do it, so I said I would. Is that - Are you mad?”
“Mad?” Carlos looks up, meeting TK’s eyes, and his heart hurts at the worry in them. “Of course I’m not mad. I was worried, and I’m still not convinced you’re not trying to give me a heart attack, but mostly I’m just glad you’re safe. It came out all wrong back there, I’m so -”
TK cuts him off with a kiss, and Carlos all but melts into it, eyes fluttering closed. He rests their foreheads together when they separate, smiling softly.
“I’m so proud of you, you know?” he murmurs.
TK hums. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Carlos pulls away, bumping their shoulders together. “You were amazing out there.”
TK grins, looking down at the ground. “It was pretty cool,” he admits. “Kind of makes me wonder if -”
A loud bang on the side of the truck makes both of them jump. Marjan’s standing there, a smirk on her lips as she looks between the two of them.
“We’re rolling out soon,” she says. “Cap wants you to get checked out by Vega before we leave, so you’d better wrap this up, loverboy.”
TK opens his mouth to argue, but Marjan holds a finger up. “Don’t even bother. Cap’s already been checked over himself, so get your ass over there.”
She leaves with a warning glance, and TK looks apologetically at Carlos as they stand.
“Sorry,” he offers, but Carlos shakes his head.
“No, I get it,” he says. “Just, what were you saying?”
TK bites his lip, rubbing the back of his neck. “I, uh. I’m not sure. I’ll see you at home?”
Carlos nods, frowning, but before he can get another word in, TK’s kissing him goodbye and leaving, Carlos’s hand trailing after him until he’s forced to let go. A smile plays at his lips as he watches TK interact with the team, but all too soon he’s being called away himself, and he leaves with a quick backward glance.
“You okay?” his partner asks as he slumps into the passenger seat.
He heaves out a sigh. “Yeah. I’m good.”
She raises a dubious eyebrow, but doesn’t comment, starting the ignition. “Buckle up, then,” she says. “I want to get out of here before the firefighters; I hate getting stuck behind their truck.”
Carlos laughs. “Better step on it. They’re all getting in.”
She curses and complies, the car lurching forward as she speeds out of the field. Carlos watches it shrink in the rear view mirror, the remaining heaviness in his heart slowly fading as the scene disappears from sight. He could have lost so much today, but he knows that that’s always going to be a fear for as long as he’s with TK.
Which will be for a very long time indeed, if Carlos has anything to say about it.
