Chapter Text
"hey."
white noise. body floating on water.
"wake up."
warm air. faint smell of lavender flowers and baby powder.
"hey, wake up."
head stirring, body stretching awake.
"come on, wake up already!"
eyes fluttering open, mouth wide in a yawn.
"there you are."
red strands fluttering against the wind.
"where am i?"
"at the waiting place."
"waiting— what?"
his eyes adjust to his surroundings.
a white lighthouse, reflection glowing over clear water. colorful petals scattered.
clear skies. distant dark clouds.
"what is this place?" he calls.
"i told you. it's the waiting place."
he turned his head to the voice, fully recognizing it now.
his face smiled at him, wearing a white shirt and white slacks. bare feet standing on water. and he staggers back, terrified.
the other him laughed. "why are you afraid of me? i'm literally you."
he looks down at himself, mirroring the image in front of him. his gears clicked in and he asks.
"am i dead?"
a sad smile was the response.
"almost."
oh.
"the waiting place is for people who still have a chance to live.
"do you remember what you did?"
a flash of it came in his vision.
he does.
jumping from the bridge they used to pass by as they walk home. when the sun wasn't shining and the sea wasn't moving.
chasing the perfect sunset at 9:13 in the evening.
sinking. drowning.
no one to save him.
"are you me?"
the other laughs again.
"yes and no."
he tilted his head in confusion.
"i'm you, but from another universe."
a parallel.
"why are you here? did you try to kill yourself too?"
"oh god no."
cold wind blew past.
"i'm trying hard to be alive actually."
"but?"
"my time has completely run out."
"no offense, but why are you still here then?"
he smiled sadly.
"because i still have regrets. and i can't leave if i haven't fulfilled them yet."
then he suddenly piped up.
"but you can help me now!"
"huh?"
"you're stronger than me! and you still have a chance while i don't. you'll still be able to go back to your life even after you help me."
"b-but we're from different universes. we may not be all similar. w-what if i mess it up more?"
the other smiles at him reassuringly.
"i'm sure you won't. because you're me!"
he hesitates.
"please?"
the other pleaded, reaching a hand to signify a deal.
"i promise it'll help you too."
he didn't know why but it's like his body was out of his control, and he reaches. until his warm palm touches the other's cold one.
"but what do i do? what are the regrets i need to fix?"
the other smiled at him,
"you'll know it when it comes to you.
"good luck taehyun!"
"wait—"
~
taehyun's eyes fluttered open, trying to adjust to the brightness of the white room and the light overhead making him squint. he faintly hears someone shouting as he blinks the heaviness of his eyelids away.
when his vision clears up, he sees nurses and doctors coming in, immediately checking on him.
"how are you feeling mr. kang? what's the last thing you remember?" the doctor asks.
despite his hazy mind, he tried thinking of an answer. the last thing he remembers? a dream. vague and confusing. he remembers blurs of red and ripples and flowers, he remembers talking to someone and helping them with something.
"i don't really know . . ." he answers, muffled. his breath fogged the oxygen mask on his face. "where am i?"
the doctor offered a gentle smile. "you're in seoul hospital. have been for the past half-year."
taehyun could barely process anything from the shock; the doctor's explanations getting lost in his swirling thoughts as nurses check his vitals. once they were done, they left to give him some space and to bring him some food. he was about to get back to sleep when he sees two figures sitting on the corner, quietly watching the entire exchange.
"soobin? kai?" taehyun calls, squinting. the two immediately ran to him and enveloped the boy in a tight but careful hug, and taehyun feels their hot tears staining his hospital gown.
"we thought we lost you . . ." kai murmurs, taehyun's heart ached at the weak voice.
"what happened to me?" taehyun asks, blissfully unaware.
"you don't remember?" soobin asked back, pulling away but still holding on the younger boy's shoulder. his eyes were glistening with both relief and worry.
taehyun reluctantly shook his head as a response.
the two looked at each other before sitting on either side of taehyun on the bed, contemplating whether they would tell or not.
it was soobin who spoke first, "i think it's better if you don't remember for now and just focus on recovering. you've been through a lot hyun."
despite the overflowing curiosity in his veins, taehyun obeyed, leaning back to rest on the bed. that's when he fully sees his state: his arms had casts that still look new, there's a bandage around his head, a dextrose injected on his left hand, and a life support system connected to the mask on his face. he suddenly wondered what happened to him for him to end up in such a condition.
the day came by in a blur of tests and white walls. it was a weird feeling; normally, people hated the dull color of the hospital, but not taehyun. something in him tells him that this place had some sort of importance, but what?
his head ached trying to remember, until he eventually fell asleep, his heart heavy like its sinking to the ocean floor.
sinking. drowning. no one to save him.
when taehyun wakes up the next morning, the feeling of something missing was still there, making a home in his chest as he looks out of the window.
the sky was full of clouds.
it was gloomy, and cold. and the lack of warmth was starting to bite at his skin. taehyun felt restless; something at the back of his mind was bothering him, and something short of panic was starting to crawl to the surface. but before the unknown anxiety reached him, the door opened and revealed his friends, accompanied by a nurse on her morning rounds. as she checked his improved vitals, he asked if he can take a warm shower, to ease his raging thoughts and appease his panicking body. and thankfully, he was allowed to do so.
taehyun relaxes as warm water touched his bare skin, caressing his dozens of scars; but the feeling of something missing still resides in his heart. the hot shower helped calm his being, but memories of cuddles and night walks flashed in his mind; then of coffee and tea dates, of warm and calm presence.
he shuts the water off.
what is he missing?
he was about to step back into the room when he hears voices, faint enough to not let anyone else hear, but taehyun's senses enhanced at the seemingly confidential topic between his friends.
"should we tell beomgyu and yeonjun?" kai's voice asked.
tensed silence followed.
taehyun's eyes widened as he froze on his place by the door.
it wasn't a what-question, it was a who.
beomgyu . . . yeonjun . . .
his heart pounded painfully in his chest. a vision of a car crash flashed before his eyes and a beeping green line echoed in his ears. he clutched on his head.
they're . . . alive?
"i don't know." soobin's voice answered, "both of them are not exactly what taehyun needs right now."
a chill went through taehyun's spine and tears prickled his eyes. what does soobin mean?
"but don't they deserve to know, at least?" kai questioned again, not liking soobin's idea of keeping this a secret.
they went quiet again. taehyun wanted to hear soobin's response, but instead, he hears footsteps inside the room. he quickly schooled his expression and pushed the door open, entering with a downcast look on his face and pretending he didn't just eavesdrop on the two boy's conversation. like taehyun had thought, soobin was standing and moving to proceed to the door, as if he had sensed the red-haired boy's presence.
"hey hyung." he greets, wearing a pair of silk pajamas. "is my food here already?"
soobin's face morphed into an easy smile, but there was an underlying emotion in his eyes. "yeah, hyun. it's on the bed."
taehyun grimaces at the sight of obviously bland food and his two friends see it, understanding the sentiment.
"we'll order food then!" kai offers. taehyun's face lighten up, and he tried to brush his confusion aside.
as soon as they finished eating, with taehyun trying hard to control his raging thoughts while he converse with his friends, soobin and kai then decided to give him some space, promising to visit him again tomorrow. and when they leave . . .
the dam taehyun had been trying to hold back burst and his tears endlessly flow from his eyes. his heart painfully squeezed in his chest and he let out muffled sobs. shaking. trembling.
remembering.
he remembers the accident that killed beomgyu;
the heart attack that killed yeonjun.
he remembers standing on a bridge, jumping, plunging to his death.
he remembers sinking into the cold and dark river;
and standing on a warm and clear lake.
taehyun stops crying.
he remembers the dream.
is he really in a parallel universe?
there's only one way to find out.
~
taehyun takes a deep breath as he stood in front of the gates of the university his parallel was attending in. the cold summer wind brushed past his figure, like a silent assurance. and he was nervous; it was as if his first time getting to see his crush.
does the beomgyu here like music too? does the yeonjun here like to dance too? are they still his sun and sea? are they still the perfect sunset taehyun thought they'd be?
hope started to fill his heart, the longing for his two lovers was achingly bittersweet. he still finds the whole situation absurd, but after his whole night of overthinking, the parallel universe theory was the only plausible thing to believe in.
of course; how could he believe that his boyfriends were still alive when their deaths are the cause of his suicide?
but one request from the nurse, one peek at his visitor's logbook, one recall of hueningkai's and soobin's words, and it's like his world crashed and rebuilt itself in a heartbeat.
there it was, clear as day; beomgyu and yeonjun written on the logbook, visited on different days for the past six months.
separately. never together.
taehyun didn't know if he was also dating the two in this universe. but it's okay, right? what he doesn't know won't kill him, right?
but it was why he begged to be let out despite protests from the doctors and his friends. he needed to find out himself. asking soobin and kai would be a worthless attempt because it was obvious that his two friends didn't want to open up the topic, judging from how many times taehyun had asked whenever they visit. it seemed like they were trying to protect taehyun from something. but taehyun didn't need protection; he needed information.
so with a promise that he will take care of himself, that he would come back for a proper recovery (which was suspicious, kai thinks), they eventually let him. pitying the young boy who was stuck in life-support with little memory about his accident. he didn't even bother to know the details of his release, but he thinks his results were good enough for his request was granted.
taehyun wanted to see beomgyu and yeonjun again. however painful, he would endure. he will take anything to see them once more, even if it's in a different universe.
"are you okay, tae?" soobin asks worriedly from beside him, patiently waiting for the red-haired boy to gather himself.
"we can just go home so you can rest more." kai adds, his hand holding soobin's.
he shakes his head, grateful for their concern. but, "no, i can manage. i'll be fine." taehyun said.
it was fascinating, if he was being honest. his parallel had the same name, the same hair color, the same college major on his school identification. taehyun had always thought his parallel would be near opposite, or that there would be a slight difference like with soobin's sternness and kai's composed personality, but everything about him was still like him. he almost doubt that this was another universe, but at the sight of the university covered in vines and greenery (which was a complete contrast to his universe's campus of clean buildings and lack of trees), he set those thoughts aside.
walking through the dimmed pathway of trees, taehyun's heart started to pound loudly. bells chimed in his head. and he halts in his steps when he saw him.
a few meters away, yeonjun stood frozen, feline eyes widely staring at him. taehyun's breath stuttered and tears pricked his eyes because there he was, breathing and alive.
he smiled as he took a step forward to the older male. but then he was pulled by someone and suddenly, he was engulfed in a hug.
taehyun didn't need to see who it was; just the feeling of warmth and the smell of lavender was enough to let him know that it was his first love. he instantly melts in beomgyu's arms, but before he could hug the older back, beomgyu was yanked away and pushed to the ground.
"get the fucking hell away from him!" yeonjun growled, pulling taehyun to stand behind him.
that was a shock for taehyun. the moment of happiness was quickly replaced with confusion. yeonjun, his sweet and calm boyfriend, angrily pushing their first love to the dirt. beomgyu scoffed at the action and taehyun could see the anger bubbling in his expressive orbs.
beomgyu stood up, dusting off his pants as he glares at the older, who was glaring back with as much intensity. taehyun could feel his heart quaking at the sight.
"no, you get the fucking hell away from him!" beomgyu hissed, pushing yeonjun aside and pulling taehyun back.
yeonjun catches his footing and swerves to land a punch on beomgyu's cheek, sending the younger back to the ground. he then grabbed taehyun's hand and was about to run away when beomgyu quickly got up and pounced on the older, sending yeonjun on his back with beomgyu on top of him and landing punches on his face.
the two brawled, grunts and hisses only being heard as they wordlessly thrash on each other around the pathway, tons of students watching and others calling the guards. even without the exchange of insults and curses, anyone with sight could see how much they seethed; the angry glares and hard punches enough evidence. soobin and kai didn't even try to stop them, only pulled taehyun away as he watched helplessly, his heart hurting ten times more than before.
taehyun can't believe he had woken up in a universe where beomgyu and yeonjun hate each other.
~
"just stay in here until either one of us pick you up. we can't let you go to your classes because beomgyu or yeonjun will surely bother you. no one is allowed to come here anyway so you'll be safe here. do you understand taehyun?" soobin reminds him, his tone strict and final that left taehyun no choice but to obey. seeing this side of him made him realize that this really was an alternate universe, for the soobin back in his world would never speak like this.
responding with a mute nod, his two friends left him in the student council meeting room, along with some of his missed school works soobin managed to get a copy of. there really was no other people here and the door was locked from the inside, the older carrying the key with him.
taehyun sighs, looking at the notes and realizing that he knows most of the stuff already. he placed it inside 'his' bag when he decided to look into it, searching for some clues that could help him for his mission? he fully remembers the dream now, and since he's here anyway, why not give it a try? surely he'll get some answers.
he flips into his notebooks, recalling the lessons in his own university written in his familiar handwriting. then he looks through his wallet, finding bundles of cash and cards. it wasn't much different from his own, but this was a lot more in comparison. there's a photo displayed inside of the three of them in what seemed to be a club; taehyun's arms wrapped around the two older boys and they have this drunk look on their faces.
lastly, taehyun took the phone out. upon turning the screen on, he was greeted by a picture of the three of them in the lockscreen. it was on a beach; the colors of the sunset painted on their smiling faces. beomgyu has an arm wrapped around his waist, and yeonjun's was on his shoulder. although taehyun could see that they were exactly what his actual boyfriends look like, there was something about their aura that screams they were different. even from his own face.
a passcode was required in opening the phone, and taehyun freaks out having no idea on what it could be.
his birthday? wrong.
uh, beomgyu's birthday? wrong.
so, yeonjun's? wrong.
their birthdays together? not even close.
only one left before the phone locks. taehyun rakes his fingers through his strands. that couldn't be it, right?
he enters the combination.
it opened.
taehyun was surprised. he closed the device again and entered the same combination. it worked again.
oh, so our anniversaries are the same . . .
deciding to investigate further, taehyun finds himself scrolling through the dozens of pictures in the gallery. he sees a mirror selfie of himself in a crop top and he malfunctions. and it wasn't just one; taehyun wonders where he could've gotten the confidence to dress that way when he panics over a slight showcase of skin. it was followed by a photo of them three, all in crop tops and taehyun gapes at the sight. beomgyu and yeonjun looks incredible in them, he admits.
looking at more photos, taehyun concludes that they were indeed different people. although they wear the same handsome faces, it wasn't his boyfriends. his boyfriends wouldn't go on clubs almost every other night and take pictures of each other making out; his boyfriends wouldn't film themselves breaking university rules and vandalising on parks. he and his boyfriends weren't troublemakers like the boys in the photos were.
and at this point, he doesn't know what to do. why was he here in the first place? why did he even agree to that dumb deal? he wants to see them again, that's for sure, but taehyun is not certain if he wants to see them in this kind of light.
oh just how much the climates have changed.
they weren't his sun and sea at all.