Chapter Text
On the day of Yachi and Tadashi’s 2 month anniversary, Tadashi was having a crisis. As he stared at himself in the mirror that morning, he tried to figure out what the hell was wrong with him. He and Yachi were happy. They had been great friends before they started dating and Tadashi loved spending time with her. So why?
He didn’t understand why he was so uncomfortable kissing her. He didn’t understand why the idea of people seeing them as a couple made his stomach squirm. He felt he was honestly lucky to land Yachi, in his eyes she was way out of his league. So why? Why did he feel like this was all wrong?
“Enough!” Tadashi yelled at himself, splashing water in his face in an effort to clear his mind. He had enough on his plate with this English test he was about to fail, and he could hear his mother talking to Tsukishima downstairs. Wait… Tsukki’s here? How long had he been losing his shit for? He pulled his phone out of his pocket, the little 7:45 in the top right corner taunted him.
“Well, shit…” Tadashi sprinted into his room, grabbing his school uniform and unceremoniously threw it on as he tried, and failed, to put on deodorant at the same time. When he felt he was decently presentable, he slid his way into the hallway where Tsukishima and his mother were chattering aimlessly. Tsukki had his “I’m-gonna-be-overly-polite-but-I’m-secretly-plotting-to-murder-my-best-friend face” on. Yamaguchi looked at him apologetically as he threw his shoes on his feet.
“It was really nice talking to you Yamaguchi-san,” Tsukki said, smiling so widely Tadashi vaguely worried if he was going to be sore afterward.
“You boys take care now!” Tadashi’s mom said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, “Good luck on that English test, I’m sure you’ll ace it!”
“Bye, mom!” Tadashi turned away, slightly smiling at his mother’s reassurance. He grabbed his bag and he and Tsukki began their morning trek to school.
As the pair walked in comfortable silence, Tadashi’s mind began to wander to the boy walking in step next to him. He allowed his eyes to flit across Tsukishima for a moment, watching his head nod to his music, his expression softer than usual. He still looked like he would punch anyone who so much as looked at him, but he at least seemed like he’d spare them their life, which was a marginal improvement. The culprit of Tsukishima’s relatively good mood seemed to be the soft waltz Tadashi could hear whispering from his headphones.
“Is that the theme to Howl’s Moving Castle?” Tadashi broke the silence, his curiosity finally getting the better of him.
“Close,” Tsukki said, looking at Tadashi with that look in his eye he only got while discussing music, “it’s “You’re In Love”, which is a variation on that theme.”
“Oh okay!” Yamaguchi said brightly, “It’s really pretty!”
“How can you tell? You can barely hear it.”
“I can just-” Yamaguchi began to retort, but was cut off by a pair of headphones being gently placed on his head. He was sure Tsukishima had placed them so softly for their sake, not Tadashi’s, but even so, he felt his breath hitch in his throat as he registered just what Tsukishima had done He tried to focus on the music in order to evade any more feelings he definitely should NOT be having. The slow waltz enveloped him, transporting him to early spring, despite the suffocating heat of that August day. He could definitely understand why this piece of music put even the surly Tsukishima in a good mood. He couldn’t help but softly smile at the idea of slow dancing with him to this song, his head leaned against the taller boy’s chest.
Wait...
It took every bit of willpower Tadashi had to not stop dead in his tracks then and there. He was thankful Tsukishima was focused on the scenery and not Tadashi, whose face was reddening at an alarming pace.
Well fuck, Tadashi thought, What the hell am I doing? I’m pretty sure the feeling of your best friend putting headphones on your head isn’t supposed to make your heart beat a mile a minute and I’m completely sure you’re not supposed to fantasize about waltzing with him. This is all wrong. I’m dating Yachi for god sake. So why the hell am I thinking about him like this?
And at that moment, Tadashi Yamaguchi realized something that he’d managed to keep from himself for as long as he could remember: He was gay, and absolutely head over heels for his best friend. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks, threatening to throw the comfortable friendship he’d cherished for half a decade into peril. He couldn’t decide whether he wanted to run away and never see Tsukishima again or throw himself hopelessly into the blond’s arms.
Before he could make a decision on the matter, the intro of the next song on the playlist broke him out of his thoughts, and he brusquely threw the headphones back at Tsukki.
“I was right,” Tadashi said in a voice that didn’t sound like his own, “the song is really pretty.”
Tsukishima seemed to notice something, but if he did, he didn’t say anything. The pair continued walking to school in less than comfortable silence, Tadashi’s mind buzzing with anxiety and Tsukishima staring ahead, his expression unreadable.