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Three Strikes
The first time Scott Summers fell in love it was infatuation sparked inside a lonely boy looking for a connection. The second time he fell in love with a woman he took for granted that fell head over heels for him. She gave him the courage to save the world and he, in turn, broke her heart. The third time Scott Summers fell in love all the rules changed.
Now, as he sat at his desk weighing out his thoughts and considering the things that he’d put on hold for far too long already, he knew that getting anything accomplished was no use. His mind was in turmoil, his thoughts betraying his actions when he found himself lost in Logan’s words
“I’m not going to wait forever to mean something in your life,” Logan’s voice echoed in his mind taking him back to the night he’d completely embarrassed himself after attempting to crash Emma’s wedding. At the time he’d been drunk and convinced that it was a smart idea, but he’d failed miserably in his approach not only with Emma, but with Logan, who had thrown his heart out on the line cautioning Scott to refrain from breaking his heart, yet what had Scott done in the aftermath?
“You hid like a coward,” Scott could hear that nagging voice inside of his head pointing out that after he’d kissed Logan, he’d simply taken the easy way out. The rain had put the brakes on their conversation leading them further from exploring their feelings and back to their place where Scott had staggered off to bed preparing to face the inevitable hangover the following morning.
After that they had simply run circles around one another conducting themselves with typical business as usual, doing what was expected of them in terms of resuming in missions and burying themselves in mutant business until Scott was faced with the task of finally putting to words the thoughts that run rampant in his mind. How could he cross the line from teammate and reluctant companion to lover where Logan was concerned? Would it be worth the risk or would he fall flat on his face ending up in worse shape than he’d began when he’d welcomed the idea of revealing the feelings that he’d kept buried deep inside of him for so very long? Kissing Logan had been easier than he’d anticipated but admitting that there was something there…that there was something deeper happening between them, well, that was something Scott wasn’t quite sure how to face. Love had never been easy but knowing that he suspected he’d felt it for Logan made things far more difficult than he’d imagined possible.
Guilt tugged at Logan’s insides as he stood outside the library door watching and waiting for the opportunity to present itself. For over half an hour he’d been pacing around in the hallway struggling to find a way inside and just get it over with. If only he could muster up half the courage that he did in battle, then he would be able to easily just put himself out there saying the things that he’d stubbornly refused to let go of. If only he could just pull his head out of his ass, then he could march into the library, walking over to the table where Scott was reviewing the architectural plans that Alex had laid out before him. He’d been buried in them most of the day, but in his absence, it had given Logan time to think—to really contemplate all the changes that had been taking place between them.
It’s now or never, a voice inside of Logan’s head cautioned providing him the courage to move forward armed with the thoughts and concerns that had carried over him since that fateful night at the beach when he and Scott had given in to temptation after a few drinks and an eventful day of dealing with Scott’s broken heart.
“Slim, we need to talk.”
“Logan,” Scott greeted him with a pleasant smile and a nod. The gesture was simple, friendly, yet Logan’s heart suddenly did flip-flops at the sight of the man before him.
Damn it, a voice in the back of his mind cursed causing him to rethink his words. If he was a stronger man this would be easy, but the longer he stood before Scott, the more he felt like a coward. Rubbing his palms over his jean covered outer thighs, Logan gulped struggling to find the words he’d practiced in the hallway.
“What’s on your mind?” Scott prompted him to step outside of his silence long enough to deliver the message that had been on his mind for most of the morning.
“I…” Logan hesitated.
Remembering the last time that he’d been alone with Scott, Logan realized he could still taste his companion’s lips over his. He could still recall the man’s touch, the way that it felt to simply be within his embrace and suddenly Logan decided he’d made a mistake. Taking a clumsy step backwards Logan was decidedly flustered and at a loss for words after opening the exchange between them.
“Is something wrong?” Scott asked angling his head just enough to alert Logan to the fact that Logan had Scott’s full attention.
With his hands neatly folded on the tabletop, Scott was seemingly the portrait of control and ease. His day had been consumed by his work and with Logan’s intrusion, he hadn’t revealed anything further beyond that neutral distance that he often carried with him. It made Logan even further discontent when Scott’s lips curved upward again as if to goad him into speaking up.
“What is it Logan?” Scott’s smooth voice echoed through the room reaching out to assist Logan’s broken train of thought.
“I…we…um, well I…” Logan struggled to get the words out knowing only too well that he’d ultimately decided on taking the coward’s path, “Chuck’s been asking about you, so you should probably check in with him when you’re done here.”
“That’s it?” Scott’s lips returned to a neutral positioning.
For a second Logan sensed disappointment in the air between them, but perhaps it had only been his wishful thinking on his part after he’d blown his arrival.
“That’s all you wanted to say?” Scott’s words were hopeful.
“For now,” Logan nodded opening his mouth to say something more but opting instead to turn on his heel and walk out of the library almost as swiftly as he’d entered it.
“Logan wait…” Scott’s words chased after him, attempting to pull Logan into the library again, but the damage had already been done. He’d blown his opportunity and instead he rushed out of the room wondering if he’d ever get a clear opening again.
Pacing the hallway outside of Logan’s room had been something that Scott hadn’t grown very accustomed to. However, after Logan’s strange exit from the library, Scott had decided that he hadn’t wanted to stay away from his longtime companion. Logan clearly had something on his mind as did Scott. The two had left so many things unsaid between them after their beach kiss, but it seemed that the longer they’d avoided it, the more difficult it had been to face one another. Now Scott eased down the hallway, considering his options for the night before circling around to move in front of the thick, wooden door that separated him from the man he’d been obsessing over since that night on the beach.
With each drag of his feet, Scott was consumed by the memory of Logan’s kiss, wondering if Logan had felt it too. The timing had been off in more ways than Scott could imagine, but there was no mistaking the hunger behind the teasing taste Logan had delivered him. Everything about that night resonated in Scott’s mind causing his pulse to race and his breath to quicken at the very thought of being near Logan. Yes, he’d known for some time that he’d been attracted to the man, which proved that he was clearly certifiable given their long and tortuous history with one another.
Time and time again, Scott had fought to contain the lust he’d carried with him, but one night in particular after a grueling day on the battlefield, he’d given in to temptation in his dreams imagining a very vivid, naughty scenario that had been enough to awaken both him and Emma from their sleep when they’d still been in a relationship with one another. The weight of his thoughts had hit her full force, surprising and delighting her with his penchant for details within the walls of his mind. He’d expected her to balk at him after his naughty dream, but instead the two had shared a long conversation about Scott’s desires and his reluctant attraction to Logan. Instead of being met by horrified repulsion, Emma had considered the words Scott had and hadn’t said about Logan and offered up the suggestion that perhaps Scott speak with Logan about the way he was feeling. At the time Scott had laughed off the suggestion, simply diminishing the way he’d felt to nothing more than a passing burst of energy remaining from the long day on the battlefield.
Now, the thoughts of his dream and the kiss Scott had shared with Logan carried over him as an indicator of just how strong what he’d felt had been. He hadn’t been ready to face it at the time, but now he decided that he was ready as he circled around the hallway again hoping that this time fate would provide him with some kind of opening to end the agonizing situation he’d placed himself into. If he was secure in his intentions, he would’ve simply knocked on the door and led the conversation himself. He would speak to Logan and share his conflicted thoughts, but instead he moved though the hallway growing increasingly on edge.
With a sharp pivot of his heel, Scott moved forward preparing to walk past Logan’s room for the thirty seventh time since he’d set out to speak to his teammate. With the door so close, Scott knew full well that the answer to the questions that were carrying over him were well within his reach, but instead of slowing down he quickened his pace moving towards the adjacent room with a frustrated breath.
“Damn it,” Logan’s garbled words groaned as his bedroom door swung open to reveal the flustered looking man inside of the room, “Are you going to tell me what you’re doing or are you going to drive me crazy patrolling the halls all night?”
“Logan,” Scott’s voice cracked with nervousness. He turned around to face his companion with an uneasy expression on his face, “I was just…”
“Trying to put a hole in the carpet with all of your pacing?” Logan arched a skeptic brow.
“I was actually…” Scott hesitated. He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck nervously knowing only too well that there was no delaying the inevitable conversation between them, “I wanted to speak with you about what you wanted to discuss in the library.”
“I already told you that…” Logan frowned.
“I know what you said, but I also know that there’s this tension between us after the other night when we…” Scott swallowed down hard. He licked his lips finding himself drawn to the man before him when he stood frozen in the center of the hallway, “What I mean is I just…”
“Would you like to come in here to talk?” Logan motioned to the room behind where he stood watching Scott with scrutinizing eyes.
“Yes,” Scott answered readily—perhaps too eagerly when he noticed the way that Logan’s eyes widened at the enthusiastic answer. Clearing his throat, Scott brought his hand up to his face and let out a small cough, “I mean I just think that it would be better if we did this in private considering that…”
“Come on in,” Logan decided opening the door further. He took a step back allowing Scott access to his bedroom.
“Great,” Scott forced a nervous smile. He rolled his shoulders back and puffed his chest out hoping that he could find the courage to simply say what was troubling him.
“So…” Logan’s word trailed off when Scott was standing in the center of Logan’s bedroom.
Without turning around Scott heard the door close behind his arrival. He made a mental note to count to ten before saying anything stupid, but as Logan’s footsteps approached him, Scott’s his face grew hotter and his train of thought moved elsewhere.
“What did you want to talk about?” Logan asked in a curious voice.
“I was thinking that…” Scott hesitated again wondering if he could just say what he was thinking without restraint. He smacked his lips together before his eyes shot over towards the center of Logan’s bed. Taking note of the rumpled sheets and the haphazardly discarded pillows, Scott found himself remembering vivid details of the dream he’d shared with Emma once upon a time.
“What?” Logan questioned stepping in closer yet.
“It’s just that after the other night when you and I were…” Scott’s face grew hot as his focus remained on Logan’s bed before him.
“At the beach?” Logan finished for him when it was clear Scott was distracted.
“Yes,” Scott nodded quickly, “I was thinking about the other night when we were at the beach together. I realize that day I did a lot of stupid ridiculous things that I probably should’ve reconsidered doing when we were together. The way that I behaved was unacceptable and…”
“Which part?” Logan probed tentatively, “Stalking Emma or kissing me?”
“A little bit of both,” Scott lowered his head shamefully.
“I see,” Logan’s voice held disappointment, “Well at this point it’s already forgotten. The way I see it we were both drunk and…”
“No,” Scott clarified raising his chin up. He swallowed down hard before turning around to face Logan once again, “that’s not what I mean. What I’m trying to say is yes, I shouldn’t have drunk as much as I did. I shouldn’t have tried to interrupt Emma’s wedding like that, but furthermore…”
“What?”
“I shouldn’t have made you feel like you were an afterthought,” Scott clarified with determination in his tone, “Kissing you wasn’t something that I regretted in any way. It was the things that I said that really didn’t lend to what I was feeling at the time Logan.”
“I’m not following,” Logan eyed him suspiciously.
“I know,” Scott reached out for Logan before deciding against it. He lowered his arm at his side before shifting on his feet, “What I’m trying to say is that I didn’t kiss you because I was drunk. I didn’t kiss you because I was hurting about losing Emma. Granted, the timing was off, but the sentiment wasn’t.”
“Again, I’m not…” Logan struggled to get the words out.
“I wanted to kiss you Logan,” Scott clarified in a steady, resolute voice, “I’ve spent a lot of years wanting to kiss you just like that, but I was too much of a coward to just come outright and say it. I beat around the bush on the issue, but then when we finally had the chance…”
“You said to hell with everything else and you went for it,” Logan finished when Scott nodded.
“Pretty much,” Scott shrugged his shoulders again, “and then after…when I didn’t say anything, well that was because I wasn’t really sure how to move forward on this. You and I have been in each other’s orbit for so long that the idea of us changing things again…”
“It’s a little overwhelming,” Logan finished for him.
“Unbelievably so,” Scott agreed meeting Logan’s pensive expression again, “but at the same time…”
“You can’t stop thinking about it either, can you?” Logan cracked a small grin when Scott felt his face growing a deeper shade of crimson.
“Not at all,” Scott divulged honestly, “Every free moment it consumes me and even when I should be concentrating on something else all I can think about is…”
“The way it tasted when we did it?” Logan countered stepping in closer to him.
“You’re all I can think about Logan,” Scott matched his movement, easing in closer to the man who’d haunted his waking hours since that evening on the beach they shared with one another, “Even now all I can do is focus on what it was like with your arms around me and your mouth against mine. Just knowing that we were crazy enough to throw caution to the wind and…”
“Want to try it again?” Logan asked with a suggestive wiggle of his brow.
“More than you can imagine,” Scott’s exasperated breath escaped from his lips. His arms surrounded Logan, squeezing as if everything he’d been holding back on was within his reach. Logan, in turn, eased his arms around Scott’s waist, drawing Scott up against his chest, to meet him halfway in the teasing taste of heaven that Scott had been fantasizing about longer than he’d cared to admit. With every slow flick and light nibble, Scott found himself melting into the moment, pushing his fingers into Logan’s hair to coax the kiss to continue, to bring them even closer in the shared moment between them.
“Mmm…” sound buzzed from Scott’s lips as his arms surrounded Logan more completely.
With an urgent grip around Logan’s shoulders and a soft nudge from Logan to step back, Scott paused only long enough to kick his shoes off across the carpet. Somewhere along the way Logan had lost his shirt and soon after the two were on the bed rolling around and pawing at one another as if the earlier uneasiness hadn’t lingered between them. Instead they were a tangled mess of limbs and urgency until Scott’s fingers were threaded in Logan’s hair, guiding Logan down between his thighs, to taste and tease Scott in ways he hadn’t experienced in so very long. With each well-placed flick of Logan’s tongue, Scott’s body sprung up off of the mattress, his fingers curling deeper into Logan’s flesh until finally Scott’s hands were coaxing Logan to climb up over him, to consume him entirely when suddenly everything that had anything to do with logic was discarded in favor of lust and wild desire.
Scott’s head arched back against Logan’s far too soft pillows crying out with bliss when Logan collapsed upon him, giving way to the final moments of lust that surrounded them in their impromptu exchange. With their bodies damp and pressed together, reveling in the last remnants of desire, Scott traced the hollow space between Logan’s powerful shoulder blades savoring the low, satisfied sound that escaped his lover’s lips. Smiling Scott kept his eyes closed as he’d lost his glasses somewhere in the middle of their passion play all in the name of giving into something far more enticing in their exchange.
“So…” the sound of Logan’s voice vibrated over Scott’s chest, causing him to take note of the surprising ease that still carried over him in having Logan against him.
“Yeah,” Scott answered unable to repress the smile that carried over his lips.
“That was…” Logan’s raspy voice began when Scott’s fingers massaged over Logan’s damp spine, hoping to savor the aftermath of their impromptu coupling.
“Yeah, it was,” Scott agreed unable to contain the blush that was creeping in over his already sex-flushed features, “Granted it wasn’t what I’d intended in coming down here, but…”
“What were you planning?” Logan questioned lazily tracing his index finger over Scott’s bare hip. The sensation caused goosebumps to form over Scott’s flesh as he twisted beneath Logan.
“I’d actually wanted to ask you if you were interested in maybe going out for dinner sometime, but this…” Scott’s voice was surrounded by laughter, “was probably a better idea.”
“I won’t argue that,” Logan agreed carefully repositioning himself over Scott. Within seconds he rolled onto his back, coaxing Scott to lay over him as they remained in the center of Logan’s bed taking in their surprising exchange.
“So…” Scott swallowed down hard as he listened to the sound of Logan’s racing heart beneath the position where Scott was nestled upon over Logan’s chest.
“You still interested in a meal?” Logan asked lazily running his fingers up and over the side of Scott’s long, lean torso.
“Eventually, but right now, I think I’d rather stay here for a while,” Scott divulged considering his words before another thought overtook him, “Unless you’d prefer that I get dressed and…”
“Are you fishing for an invitation to spend the night Slim?” Logan practically laughed at his nervousness, “Is that what you’re hoping for in all of this?”
“No, I mean I wasn’t…” Scott’s flustered words came out. He pushed himself up on his elbows to hover over Logan, “I didn’t mean to imply that…”
“I ain’t kicking you out of bed just yet,” Logan laughed guiding Scott back down over his chest again, “Just thought it would be nice to hear you say that you weren’t itching to leave just yet.”
“I had no intention of going anywhere,” Scott assured him with a relieved breath.
“Good because I wasn’t going to consider letting you go,” Logan’s words resonated in the air between them, “Truth be told Slim I wouldn’t want to.”
“Me neither,” Scott admitted when Logan’s fingertips traced over the scars on his spine, returning to their earlier days when anger overruled everything else in their lives, “I know that we really haven’t talked much about this, but…”
“I meant what I said the other night on the beach Slim,” Logan answered readily, “I wasn’t lying when I told you that you meant something to me. That wasn’t the alcohol talking in my case.”
“I know that,” Scott replied knowingly, “Even if you had been drunk, which you very seldom are, I saw what those words meant to you. When you kissed me back…”
“I wasn’t doing it for a cheap thrill,” Logan paused considering his words, “Neither was this. This was because I’d wanted to do this for a long time Slim.”
“So have I, but at the same time,” Scott stretched his fingers out over the expanse of Logan’s hair-dusted chest, “I don’t want you to think that this happened for the wrong reasons.”
“I don’t,” Logan replied almost too quickly.
“This isn’t about losing Emma or about mourning something that’s been missing from my life,” Scott promised him, “This is about something that…”
“We’ve both been circling around it for a while, but now that we’re here…” Logan’s words tapered off.
“We need to tread with caution,” Scott finished knowingly, “which means that as much fun as this is, we also need to put forth an effort to try dating.”
“Dating?” Logan repeated with a laugh that caused his arm to constrict further around Scott with the sound, “Like dinner and the movies?”
“Maybe,” Scott considered his own request as he snuggled over Logan’s chest, “Granted, Emma and I used to go on trips together when we needed time on our own, but…”
“If a trip is what you’re looking for, how about we take off for Canada?” Logan suggested after a quiet contemplation, “We could settle in at my place up there and…”
“Just leave it all behind?” Scott finished considering Logan’s request.
“For a little bit sure,” Logan nodded encouragingly placing a kiss over the top of Scott’s head, “We could take the time to explore the things that we haven’t and while we are there…”
“What?” Scott placed his palm over the center of Logan’s chest only to feel Logan’s fingers gripping at his wrist.
“We can work on this a bit too,” Logan’s suggestive voice caused Scott’s lips to part again actively seeking out the warmth of the man beneath him.
“I think I can do that,” Scott replied pressing a small kiss over Logan’s shoulder. With a shift of his hips and a twist of his body, he stretched out over Logan again before reaching out to touch his lover’s face, “I’d love to do that actually.”
“Great, then we can take off in the morning,” Logan decided with an eager grin. His fingertip eased up over Scott’s spine, circling between his shoulder blades in a light, teasing sweep, “but for now how about you stay here tonight with me? What do you say?”
“I was afraid you’d never ask,” Scott let out a relieved sigh. He nestled his head on Logan’s shoulder basking in the aftermath of their exchange with one another. While there were still many unanswered questioned about the future ahead of them, for the first time in a long time Scott was hopeful for things to come.