Chapter Text
September
Luke
Luke walks up to the door slowly, feeling something electric in his veins. He chalks it up to moving into a new room with someone he’s never met before, but he can’t recall being this anxious when he moved onto campus for the first time at his first college. He walks up to the door with tags labeled “Calum & Luke,” little sunshine door decs made by their floor’s Resident Assistant.
It settles his nerves a little, seeing the name of someone else living with him. Even with his hands full with a large plastic tote and a concerningly heavy backpack on his back, Luke takes a moment to stare at the door, praying to whatever gods are out there that his new roommate is nicer than his last one. He just wants to feel at home in his space, to not have to worry about being ridiculed or bullied when he so much as makes one wrong move.
He hasn’t spoken to Calum ahead of moving in, opting to leave a little bit of surprise in case this is just as awful as his previous situation. Though, he’s not sure anyone can be worse than Devil Roommate, as Luke would affectionately call him when he told his family about his living hell. He just wants someone normal who won’t bully him for not being able to see colors yet. Some small part of him hopes that maybe this Calum character hasn’t seen his colors yet either, that they can bond over being miserable loners together in a world of black, white, and grey.
As Luke twists his key into the door, his heart rate increases exponentially as he braces himself. He pushes on the wood, hearing the creek of the old hinges whining from the effort. Luke can’t help but close his eyes, worried about what he’s going to find on the other side of room 303.
When he finally opens his eyes, he finds the room safely empty. It’s clear that Calum has been here already, and for quite some time based off of how many of his belongings are unpacked. In fact, Luke thinks that he might have moved in early because he’s fully claimed the right side of the room, decorated with various posters on the wall and knick knacks on his desk.
Luke places the bin down on the floor under what’ll be his bed and ventures to Calum’s side for a moment, looking at the black and white pictures on the walls. Luke picks out the person he thinks is Calum, all squinty eyed smiles and squishy cheeks. His hair looks dark from what Luke can tell in the pictures, able to differentiate between light hair and dark hair based on the shade of grey.
There’s a few pictures where Calum has his arms wrapped around a pretty girl and Luke briefly wonders if that’s his girlfriend until he sees a picture of Calum, the girl, and two adults who he deduces must be Calum’s parents. Across other images are Calum with different soccer teams, groups of people at the beach and various other locations. Luke thinks that Calum looks like someone who has a lot of friends, something slightly worrying with Luke just starting up here and looking to hopefully make new friends.
In an effort not to get caught staring, Luke returns down to his car to move in the rest of his belongings and within a few trips, he’s brought everything up into his new room. Each time he arrives at the room, he hopes that he’s going to come back and Calum will be there, but every time he’s let down a little more. Luke starts the tortuous task of making his bed, setting up the grey sheets and grey comforter so he’s ready for sleep when he tires himself out enough from the events of the day. He tacks up some posters on the walls, All Time Low and Blink 182 and anything else that’ll make this room seem a little more like home, at least for now. He hopes that Calum doesn’t hate his taste in music, desperate to please his new roommate.
Luke isn’t sure where anything is on campus, so he elects to stay in and eat ramen on his first night, to really solidify the whole college experience. He microwaves his weak dinner and eats it in relative silence, listening to the vibrations of noise from the rooms around him. He finally decides to play some music as he finishes hanging up all his clothes, accepting the fact that Calum doesn’t seem to be coming home anytime soon. Luke thinks that he might be able to get used to this, having a room to his own with a roommate that seems pretty absent. Still, he can’t help but wonder about the other guy, what he’s like and if they’ll be friends.
He eventually gives up on unpacking and manages to take a quick shower down the hall, only bumping into two or three other residents of his floor before making his way back to the room, still eerily quiet with the lack of a roommate. Luke hums while he finishes getting ready for bed, deciding that he’ll try to take a walk around campus tomorrow to try to figure out the layout before the first day of classes the following day. He hopes that he’ll find someone worth spending time with, maybe another transfer student who doesn’t have a group yet. Or, in a perfect world, he would finally figure out who his soulmate is.
Luke puts in his headphones to play music as he winds down for the night, laying in the darkness of his room at the end of his first day here. He daydreams about meeting his soulmate, whoever they may be, and finally seeing the world of colors that everyone talks about. His mom told him that he has icy blue eyes, the same color as the ocean, but when he looks in the mirror, all he sees is a light shade of grey. He longs to know what he looks like properly, what color is the ocean? What does the sky look like, what are the sunsets that his mother is so fond of?
He wants the love that his parents have, so deep and unconditional due to the universe literally hand selecting them for each other. He wants to know what it’s like to look at someone and just know that he’s meant to spend the rest of forever with them because they’ve given him the gift of colors. Luke doesn’t know who they are yet, but he’s ready to love that person so endlessly. He wants to come home every day and know that he has someone waiting for him, someone who loves him despite his flaws.
Luke finds himself drifting to sleep wishing for that day more than anything, the soft acoustics of his sleep playlist drowning out any other noise from around him. He dreams of possible scenarios- bumping into his soulmate in class, in the dining hall, on the street. He sees nothing more than a shapeless body, never definitive if his soulmate identifies as a male or female or anywhere on the spectrum, only vague shadows outlining a form. Everytime Luke reaches out to touch them, they disappear into the air, leaving him standing alone.
When Luke opens his eyes the next morning, the room is filled with light. He’s pretty certain he had shut the curtains last night before going to bed, but when Luke rolls over to face the room, he sees that more than just the shades have changed since he fell asleep.
The other side of the room, Calum’s side, has been used since he went to sleep, bed now sleep messy along with a duffle bag on the floor that definitely wasn’t there when he went to bed. There’s a soccer ball sticking out of the bag and clothes all over the floor, taken off in a haste to get somewhere. Luke blinks into the daylight, searching for any sight of Calum himself but finds nothing else, just static grey. The white numbers on his clock show that it’s 8:30, earlier than he would have liked to wake up but there’s no chance of him getting back to sleep again.
Luke lays back against his pillow, inhaling deeply through his nose and out through his mouth slowly, easing the anxiety that settles in his chest. He doesn’t know where his roommate is or when he’ll be back, but he thinks that he should probably get up and face the day. Luke sits up, stretching his arms far above his head to get the sleep out of his bones and turns to hop off his bed, letting his feet dangle in the air as the door swings open.
Calum, or at least the person who Luke assumes is Calum, barrels into the room, not paying a single bit of attention to Luke who’s too stunned by the intrusion to speak. Calum clearly just came from the shower, dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants as he rummages through his drawers to find something to wear. Luke thinks that if he wasn’t awake, he probably would have been woken up by the noise of him carelessly slamming the drawers.
“Uh,” Luke clears his throat, unsure how to address someone he’s never spoken to when he’s only been awake for less than five minutes. Calum stiffens, not expecting Luke to speak, and turns slowly to face Luke’s bed.
When Calum lays his eyes on Luke, everything stops for a moment. Luke thinks it's a bit cliche, but he holds his breath, noticing how some of the spots in his vision turn from grey to. Well. Something that’s definitely not grey, though Luke doesn’t know what color that really is. There’s a tense moment where they both keep looking from each other to the various spots around the room without saying a word.
Luke can see that the color takes up his shirt, some random spots on his posters, and places in Calum’s pictures. He narrows his eyes, confused why only parts of the world are colored when he’s always heard that locking eyes with your soulmate for the first time brings a whole host of colors, expanding across most parts of existence. That’s when something clicks in his brain, bringing him back to life with the realization that holy shit, he’s looking at his soulmate. His roommate is his damn soulmate.
“Woah,” Calum says softly with a slightly amused laugh, “Well, hi Luke. I’m Calum.”
Luke, still too confused to have his brain connect with his mouth, gapes at Calum for a minute before swallowing around nothing. Luke takes a second to stare at Calum, taking in how he looks much hotter in person, all tattoos and swooping hair and that same crinkly eyed smile from the pictures. He’s biting his lip, which Luke can now see is pleasantly colored, just the tiniest bit compared to the rest of his grey appearance. Luke offhand wonders if his lips look the same.
“Hey,” Luke finally speaks, clearing his throat again as it scratches from disuse from sleep. Calum smiles again, sticking a hand out in between them for Luke to shake.
“Sexy morning voice, soulmate.”
Luke stills with his hand in Calum’s, not expecting him to be so nonchalant about the whole soulmate situation. Objectively, Calum isn’t a bad looking soulmate, Luke is just still perplexed by the vast majority of his world still being in black and white. He desperately wants to call his mom and ask her what it all means.
Calum coughs uncomfortably, pulling his hand from Luke’s in order to run it through his hair. “Uh, sorry if that was a bit much, I don’t really know how to go about all of this. But uh, is your vision still mostly grey?”
Luke sighs in relief that he’s not the only broken one, that at least he has Calum to commiserate with. He nods, running a hand through his own curls just for something to do with his hands, “Yeah, what’s that about?”
Calum doesn’t answer, just instead picks up his phone and does a quick google before humming thoughtfully, “Well, the color we can see is red. Well, wait, is this the color you see?” Calum asks, holding out his phone to show Luke a list of basic colors. The only box that's anything but a shade of grey is marked red. Luke nods again, looking around to place more red objects.
“I’ve never heard of someone meeting their soulmate and not seeing all the colors at once,” Calum says, leaning back against his bed. Luke watches the way that his biceps strain against his shirt, blinking to force himself to stop staring. He looks up at Calum’s face, blushing at the slight smirk on his lips that show he’s been caught.
Luke hums noncommittally, playing with the edge of his blanket. This moment seems monumentous, yet insignificant all at once, just him and Calum in their college room finding out they’re soulmates on their first day actually living together. There’s something that just feels off about the whole situation, something that Luke can’t place immediately. He expected to feel something all encompassing and warm, but he can’t help but feel a little empty. It’s just not the way that he wanted to meet his soulmate, not the perfect vision he had in his mind.
Still, he’s not disappointed by Calum by any means, more intrigued about the guy standing across from him than anything else. He has so many questions, so many things that he wants to learn, but he’s unsure what the boundaries are here and what lines they shouldn’t be crossing just yet.
“So, not to just do this to you as you’ve just woken up, but maybe wanna go get breakfast? Talk a little bit? Get to know each other?” Calum asks, voice leaning towards hopeful as he bats his eyelashes at Luke. Luke thinks that Calum could get away with asking him to commit murder, if he’s going to look at him like that. It's innocent and adorable, flooding Luke with fondness, despite literally knowing Calum for only minutes.
In lieu of a response, Luke jumps off the bed and grabs his toothbrush before slipping on his slides and heading to the bathroom. While brushing his teeth, he mentally berates himself for acting like that for his first impression, but he tries to give himself a break considering he’s been given his soulmate at 8:30 in the morning, completely unexpectedly. Once he feels sufficiently clean, Luke returns to the room and finds Calum fully dressed, black joggers and a hoodie, pushing his soccer bag under his bed a bit.
Luke pulls his own clothes from his drawers and closet, amazed to see he has not one, but two red shirts hanging in it. He’s not sure what the rest of his wardrobe looks like, but he’s interested in knowing what colors his mom has him wearing. Something in his chest clenches at the thought of his mom, once again reminding him that he needs to call her to share his life altering news.
“I, uh,” Luke stammers when he has his clothes in hand, unsure what to do about changing in front of Calum. If he was only his roommate, Luke might have felt okay with the idea of just stripping down and getting dressed with no looming sexual implications, but with the title of soulmate hanging over his head, he’s not sure what the proper etiquette is. He thinks that he’s going to need to tell Calum about himself sooner than later, just to be upfront with him about what he’s getting into by Luke being his soulmate.
Calum seems to understand his discomfort, smiling softly and grabbing his keys and wallet, “I’ll wait for you in the lounge, take your time.” He walks past Luke quickly, sending a wave of his cologne in his wake. The scent is intoxicating, something woodsy and vanilla yet so absolutely appealing to Luke. He knows the scent will bring him comfort from now on.
Once the door is closed, Luke scrambles to his phone, immediately hitting his mom’s contact and praying she’ll answer. He doesn’t want to make her nervous by calling without a warning, but meeting his soulmate seems like a big enough deal to warrant a surprise call.
“Luke?” his mom questions after a few rings, “Everything okay?”
Luke physically relaxes at the sound of her voice, shoulders slumping at the release of tension. He’s instantly calmed by just knowing she’s on the other side of the phone, forever a mama’s boy through and through.
“Hey,” he whispers, feeling as though if he talks any louder, this will all be even more real.
“What’s wrong?”
Luke inhales, hands shaking around his grip on his phone, “So uh, Calum, uh, my roommate. He’s my soulmate.” The word is bitter on his tongue, sour like it isn’t meant to be there. Luke doesn’t want to think about what that means.
Luke’s mom gasps through the phone, a tiny excited noise shooting through the speaker, “Luke that’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you! Is he nice? Where’s he from? What’s his major?” Liz shoots out rapid fire questions, unable to help herself.
Luke feels himself smile a little bit, glad that she’s excited about the situation. “Uh, I only just met him like no more than 15 minutes ago, actually. We haven't really spoken other than realizing that we were soulmates. We’re going to breakfast in a few, I’m gonna ask him to show me around campus. But that’s not the biggest thing.”
Liz hums, asking for Luke to continue. Luke pulls on his own joggers as he’s talking, holding the phone in between his shoulder and cheek precariously. “So, I’m not sure what this means, but we can only see red? At least, that’s the name of the color we saw on Google. The rest of the world is still grey.”
The other line is silent, just static through the speakers for a minute. Luke starts to think that maybe she’s hung up on him, thinking this is all some sick joke. Luke kinda wishes that it was a joke, anything to make some sense of the situation.
“I’m not sure what that means, honey. Are you sure that’s all you can see? Just red?”
“Yeah, like, I have a few red shirts? There’s some red in my posters. Lips are red, but not a dark red? But I can’t see anything else. I feel like something is just off,” Luke says, getting progressively quieter through his words. His eyes fill with tears without his consent and he blinks them away. He should be happy right now, should be celebrating the fact that he finally met his soulmate and it seems like they’re going to get along wonderfully, just based on the little conversation that they had. But something is so deeply off about all of this, something that Luke just doesn’t understand right now.
He wishes his mom had the answer for him.
“Honey, I have to go back to work, but look into it, yeah? Maybe there’s some explanation for why you can only see red. You can’t be the first soulmates to only see one color. But go enjoy your breakfast with Calum first, and give me a call later when you have a chance. I want to hear more about him. I love you, sweet boy. I promise it’ll all be okay.”
Luke isn’t sure that he believes her promise, but he echoes the love nonetheless and ends the call. He finishes getting ready quickly, not wanting to leave Calum waiting any longer than he already has. Luke doesn’t want to make another bad first impression, already not off on the greatest foot this morning. He collects his belongings and locks the door, heading down the hallway to find Calum.
The walk to the dining hall is riddled with Calum sharing random things about the school after finding out Luke is a transfer student. He points out the important buildings- where Luke’s classes are, where to find the best late night food, where the gym is, until they get to their actual destination. Luke can’t help but be so incredibly thankful for Calum knowing how to ease his nerves without Luke even having to say a single thing. Maybe it’s the soulmate connection, he thinks as they collect their meals and sit at an open table.
“So, I talked the entire way here, why don’t you tell me something now,” Calum says while mixing sugar into his coffee. Luke looks down at his bagel and runs through his mental checklist of fun facts he’s created for any time that he needs to talk about himself on the spot. Nothing seems to live up to the standard of things he should be telling his soulmate.
“Uh, I’m Luke, I’m a sophomore. Transferred from another school because I hated it more than anything. I’m here for special education, I wanna teach elementary school I think, but we’ll see what happens when I start student teaching. Uh, I have two brothers? That sounds like a question, but I do. And… that’s it?” He trails off, feeling the pressure of meeting someone new laced with the pressure of meeting his roommate and his soulmate all in one. Even on a normal day, this would be a lot for him to handle.
Calum lets his eyes wander around Luke’s face, seeming like he’s taking a mental note of all the important parts. It causes Luke’s cheeks to get hot and he looks down to avoid the blatant staring. With an amused chuckle, Calum takes a long draw of his coffee.
“Well we’ll be in the same boat in the next two years, student teaching wise. I’m here for physical education licensure and I also wanna work at an elementary school. Maybe we’ll get lucky and be placed at the same practicum so we can carpool.”
Luke’s heart flutters at Calum planning for them years down the road, a tiny hint of him worried that they’re moving too fast considering they only met about an hour ago. But still, there’s a sense of home here that Luke’s never felt before, knowing that this person across from him has been deemed the perfect match by the universe. Luke didn’t think that he would ever be matched with someone athletic and bubbly, but yet here they are, sitting in the cafe as Calum rambles on about soccer and his major.
Luke nods periodically, listening intently but still harboring too much pent up energy to relax fully. Something still feels off, just not entirely right as he looks around the dining room, picking up the red shirts and the red plastic Coca Cola dispenser and the red apples next to the basket of grey ones. He hones in on those grey apples, wondering why it is that he can’t see what color they actually are. Maybe if he stares long enough, he can will the color to show up, giving him the blessing of seeing the full range of the rainbow.
Calum snaps his fingers once in front of Luke’s face, drawing him out of his apple induced daydream. Luke blinks, focusing back on Calum with what he hopes is a guilty look on his face, ready to apologize for being the worst breakfast companion ever.
“I’m confused too, I’d like to understand why everything still looks so grey. I have some theories, but maybe we can head back to the room and see if we can find anything online?” Calum suggests, giving Luke a comforting smile. It’s almost unnerving how well Calum can read him without knowing him all that well, but Luke accepts it for what it is and moves on, taking Calum’s bowl and mug to the dirty dishes window with his own before heading back to the room.
The walk back is quieter, Luke searching for anything to talk about that isn’t their current situation. He wants this to be effortless, the easy flowing conversations that he had dreamed about, but there’s something still holding him back, something wrapped around his throat and restricting his speech. He hopes that he can figure out what that is and remove it as soon as possible, desperate for Calum to like him so they can continue on through life together.
Luke finds himself sitting at Calum’s desk, both of their chairs pushed close together to huddle around Calum’s laptop. Luke tries not to get distracted by watching Calum’s profile. The light from his laptop sends shadows across Calum’s face and Luke is almost desperate to reach out and touch him, given their proximity. There’s a string pulling him to Calum, almost screaming that he’s a safe person and Luke can be himself around his roommate.
It’s that scream that has Luke resting his head on Calum’s shoulder without a second thought, biting his lip when he feels Calum relax under his weight. It shouldn’t be this easy, being physically intimate with another person that he’s known for only a few hours, but every fiber of Luke’s being says that it’s okay, that Calum is okay. He craves innocent touch as a form of love more than words, yet Luke can tell that Calum is the type that wants to talk and talk and talk for hours if he can. They balance each other out, so it seems.
“Okay, why the hell is there literally no information about this,” Calum groans after scrolling for a while. “It’s almost like we’re the first ones to ever experience not seeing all our colors at once, but that doesn’t seem likely. But it’s also kinda cool to imagine that we may be so unique that no one has ever seen anyone like us before.”
“What were your theories? You said you had thoughts before,” Luke pipes up, removing his head from Calum’s shoulder. He doesn't miss the tiny flicker of disappointment that crosses Calum’s face, gone before Luke can even think about it any further.
“Well, I have a few ideas. Maybe we’re not ready for each other yet, like we haven’t reached the versions of ourselves that can be ready for a soulmate,” Calum starts, still clicking on various links and finding no results.
“Doesn’t seem possible, I’ve been waiting to meet you for years,” Luke says, immediately feeling stupid about his own statement. It sounds cheesy and cliche coming out of his mouth, the idea that he’s been actively dreaming of this moment for ages.
Calum doesn’t seem to mind it, instead giving Luke a grateful grin and moving a hand to Luke’s knee, just for a moment. “I have been too, don’t worry,” is all Calum says before he severs the contact, launching back into his thoughts.
“The other was that maybe we weren’t supposed to meet each other now? Like, fate somehow screwed up and we were supposed to meet in the future? So we can’t see the colors until we end up in the place we were supposed to meet?” Calum questions, sounding less sure of this concept than he was of the first.
It’s not that it’s an impossible thought, Luke just doesn’t think that it’s right either. Everything happens for a reason, or so his mom always says, so meeting Calum now, in their shared room, seems like it was meant to be. Even if he had to meet his soulmate with his curls mused and sleep in his eyes, Luke wouldn’t replace this day for the world.
He shrugs instead of responding, standing up and moving his chair back to his desk before going to lay on his bed. Luke wants answers more than anything, but he knows that they’ll come in time. Or, maybe Luke and Calum will just only be able to see red for the rest of their lives, cursed to never see the color of the grass or the look of each other's eyes.
“I don’t want to discourage you, but I don’t think that’s right either. It can’t just be a coincidence that we’re meeting now, we’re roommates. That seems like fate if you ask me,” Luke states, sitting back against the wall.
Calum shrugs, getting up to sit on his own bed, facing towards Luke. They just look at each other for a few moments, something that should be bordering on creepy, but doesn’t feel so unusual when it's just them.
Luke can’t believe that he’s finally here, in his second year at his second school staring at his soulmate. The more he gets to know Calum, the happier he is that he ended up with him in the first place. He has a feeling that Calum isn’t going to ridicule him or cause him intentional harm, unlike his past roommate. He’s safe, he knows it for sure.
They end up talking about random things for a while, like Luke’s brothers and Calum’s sister, how often Calum has practice for soccer, their similar tastes in music. The conversation finally flows easily in the way that Luke wished it would earlier. Until they get to the conversation that Luke had been dreading more than anything.
“I don’t know how to ask this nicely, so I’ll just say it outright. What’s your dating history like? Any crazy exes that I need to be on the lookout for?” Calum teases, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
Luke swallows, “No, uh. No. I’ve never been in a relationship.”
Calum frowns, looking at Luke in confusion, “I’m shocked honestly. In high school, everyone just paired off randomly because what’s the harm in having a little fun before you meet your soulmate. Interesting that your school wasn’t like that.”
“No, it was like that. I just wasn’t part of it?”
“No one you were interested in?” Calum chuckles nervously, like he can feel Luke’s anxiety rising with every word they say.
“I’m asexual. I want no part of sex so I didn’t see the point of going through all of that when I knew that’s what everyone wanted and I wasn’t willing to do that.”
Luke shuts his eyes the moment he says it, not wanting to see Calum’s reaction. He hadn’t anticipated getting that out in the open so early, only a few hours into knowing each other. Yet at the same time, it feels freeing to have it off his chest, seeing that now Calum wouldn’t be blindsided later. Once again he’s hit by the idea that there is some kind of soulmate connection that aids to Luke feeling okay with sharing parts of himself that he’s still trying to work through.
Calum nods, accepting Luke’s response, “Okay cool, makes sense.”
Luke waits for the ball to drop. There has to be a but, a reason why Calum is going to stop talking to Luke now that he knows he won’t put out. They’re soulmates after all, isn’t that supposed to be part of the whole package, Luke wonders.
“That’s it?” is what ends up coming out of his mouth instead.
Calum looks at him in confusion, “What?”
“I don’t know, I expected there to be some kind of fight about that. We’re soulmates, I figured you were expecting something,” Luke says, feeling embarrassed as the words leave his mouth.
Calum shrugs, “Nah, I’m not going to fight you for how you identify. That’s fine with me, it’s not a big deal.”
Luke lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, “Oh.”
“Someone did a number on you, huh? To make you that nervous that I was going to ditch you completely because of who you are.”
Luke chuckles weakly, “Maybe it’s too soon for sharing trauma.”
Calum hops off his own bed, taking the three steps forward so he’s leaning against Luke’s mattress. He settles with his elbows on the bed, close enough for Luke to see him clearly but far enough to give him any needed space. “I promise you that by being your soulmate, I will appreciate every bit of you for what you are, because that’s what makes you unique. We’re soulmates for a reason, yeah?”
“That’s fucking sappy,” Luke laughs, internally so incredibly touched by Calum’s insistence that he’s fine the way he is. The reassurance is welcomed, a solid reminder that they really were made for each other in one way or another.
“Get used to it,” Calum winks, pushing off Luke’s bed in favor of grabbing his laptop again.
Luke has never been so happy to have transferred schools.
Michael
“I’m just saying, culture wise, everything was better in Ireland,” Michael says, stuffing the last of his fries into his mouth casually. They’re sitting outside at a picnic table enjoying the warm weather between classes, catching up after their second week of classes. They want to make this a regular occurrence once again, considering they used to meet weekly before Michael went abroad.
Across from him, Crystal rolls her eyes dramatically, “I get it Mike, you went to Ireland. I think you’ve been talking about this for the last two weeks straight. Find a new personality trait.”
Michael huffs, unbothered by his friend’s joking complaining. Sure, he’s been talking about his time studying abroad in the spring almost nonstop, but it’s interesting, he swears. Everything had been more interesting in Ireland; between the food and the sights and the experiences, Michael misses it a lot. He’s happy to be back at school properly with his friends, but at the same time he still longs to go back and see it all again.
Maybe return whenever he finds his soulmate so he can show them all the places that he loved going to the first time. It would give him the upperhand, unless for some reason his soulmate had gone to Ireland themselves, which would be fairly unfortunate for Michael. He doesn’t linger on that thought for long, focusing back in on Crystal as she pulls her trash together. Michael does the same, downing the last of his bottle of Coke before heading towards the trash cans.
He has to run to class anyways, lunch with Crystal just being a stepping stone between his morning and afternoon classes. If Michael isn’t careful, he’s going to be late to his biology class. He’s still not sure why he has to take biology when his major is social work, seeing as it has little to do with the work he’s going to do in the field, but he’ll manage to skate by with an acceptable grade.
Michael waves goodbye to Crystal as she heads in the direction of her own class. Out of the corner of his eye, Michael sees someone with a big sign pacing around a bit to the left of the trash, but he ignores the human in favor of tossing his lunch remains into the can.
“HEY!” a vaguely angry voice yells. Michael ignores it, electing to stay out of someone else’s business by not turning to snoop on whoever is being yelled at. It’s his good deed for the day, not being an onlooker into a situation he doesn’t belong in, he thinks.
“You, one who just threw something away!” the voice yells again, slightly closer to Michael than it was before. He decides to indulge his curiosity, peeking over his shoulder to see what situation is unfolding.
As he does, Michael first sees nothing but a big grey sign with bolded letters reading “RECYCLE, OUR EARTH NEEDS HELP”. Michael scoffs a bit, ready to be yelled at by another eco warrior. He stops, grabbing his backpack straps for something to do with his hands and fixes the poster with a glare, ready to fight with whoever is behind the poster.
The mystery human lowers the sign and narrows their eyes at Michael for a moment before instantly changing their expression to one of surprise. Michael mirrors the look, staring down at the poster in the person’s hands.
The letters have color now.
“Of fucking course my soulmate would have to throw a recyclable bottle into a trash can,” the man groans, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers.
Michael doesn’t mask his offended expression well, “Wow, hell of a first impression,” he deadpans, looking around to avoid the other man’s accusing glare. He’s not sure what color it is that he’s seeing but it makes up the sign, a random student’s shirt, and car off in the distance. It’s bright, something intense that has Michael unable to even remember what shade of grey that used to be.
“Sorry, sorry, I really don’t mean to be rude, I just care about the environment a lot and even one bottle can be detrimental for our fragile ecosystem.”
Michael wants to make fun of him immediately, but the look on his face is so sincere that he can’t help but melt a little bit. The soulmate effect, he thinks, as a small smile graces his face involuntarily.
“I’m sorry, I’ll try to be better at recycling. But hiya, I’m Michael,” he says, rocking back and forth on his heels. He’s gonna be really late now, bordering on the point where he shouldn’t even bother attending class, but maybe his professor will let him get away with this considering he’s met his actual soulmate.
“Ash, Ashton. Hi,” soulmate Ashton says, wiping a curl off of his forehead. Michael wants to reach out and run his fingers through his hair, but he does his best to keep his hands to himself.
“Well Ash Ashton, I’m so happy to meet you, but I’m really late for class and I kinda need this grade,” Michael says, walking backwards slowly to escape the situation.
“Wait! How will I see you again!” Ashton calls after him and Michael feels like he’s in some kind of cheesy 90’s rom-com.
“I’ll see you at the dining hall at 6?” he replies, not sticking around to hear the answer. He sure hopes that this sudden burst of confidence lasts him until dinner.
Midway through his biology class, Michael realizes that he’s stuck only seeing one color, unsure why most of his sight is still in black and white. He sees the red on the presentation on the screen after he’s searched for colors and figured out what he’s seeing, but he isn’t sure what the other variations of grey are. Something strange simmers within him, edging on anxious as he wants to ask all the questions in the world to figure out what’s wrong with him.
He goes to talk to his professor after class to see if she knows any explanation of why he wouldn’t see all his colors, but she shrugs in response and says she’s never heard of it before. She urges him to go talk to an actual scientist to figure out what happened, but Michael pointedly ignores her suggestion and hurries off to dinner instead.
Thankfully, by the time that Michael gets his food and searches through the sea of faces, Ashton appears and makes his way towards Michael, a cautious smile still on his face. “Fancy seeing you here,” Michael jokes, taking a seat at the first empty table he finds. Ashton follows his lead, placing down a salad at his own seat. It makes Michael feel a little self conscious about his choice of chicken tacos.
“Are you vegan?” Michael blurts out before his filter is able to stop him. He flushes, muttering a soft sorry before stuffing his own food in his face to avoid saying something else stupid.
But Ashton only laughs, light and melodic, “No, but I do tend to find myself to be as meat free as possible. I won’t force it, but less meat is better for our environment.”
Michael nods, acting as if he understands what Ashton is saying, when he really doesn’t comprehend the situation. Great, his soulmate is going to be one of those people who want to teach him to better himself or something and it’s going to be hell for both of them.
“Tell me about you?” Ashton says, sticking a forkful of leafy veggies into his mouth.
“Uh, Michael. Michael Clifford. Social work major, junior, only child. Coming back from a semester abroad in Ireland, though Crystal, my friend Crystal, tells me I need to stop talking about Ireland so much.”
Ashton lights up, “Please, tell me more about Ireland! I’d love to hear about your experience.”
Michael looks at him skeptically, “Are you sure you want to open that conversation? I’ve been known to never shut up if you get me started,” Michael warns.
Ashton only smiles, “You just got so excited when you mentioned Ireland, I want to hear whatever it is that makes you that happy.”
Michael feels his cheeks heat impossibly, “That’s fucking sappy. But you asked for it.” He stops to think for a moment, deciding what story he’s going to tell Ashton about. “Oh okay, this is a pretty good depiction of my personality. So we went to the Cliffs of Moher, which are fucking beautiful, if you’ve never seen it. Anyways, so there’s this big sign that says ‘please don’t jump’ with the number to a suicide hotline next to it. So of course I pretended to jump over the edge, scared the shit out of our guide. The rest of the group thought it was funny but I almost got sent home for fucking around too much.”
Michael stops his storytelling when he sees the look on Ashton’s face, somewhere between amused and horrified. He tries to backtrack, tripping over his words, “Too much? I’m sorry, I’ve been known to give weird information. Sorry if I’m already scaring you away, I probably should have kept that story for later on, I could tell you about the horrifying tales of public transit instead?”
Ashton struggles to hold back a grin, biting his lip miserably. “Michael Clifford, I’m enamored by you.”
Michael squints, “I’m not sure if that’s meant to be a compliment or not?”
“Definitely a compliment. I can see us getting along perfectly. Universe did right for us.”
Michael nods his head, holding back a thousand things he would love to say in response. “Tell me about you then, please? I’ve talked too much.”
Ashton laughs, “Ashton Irwin, Ash if you like. Environmental science major, senior, oldest of three. Not sure that I have anything that would top your Ireland stories, but I’ll let you know if I can think of anything exciting. In the meantime, I’d love to know more about what you do for fun.”
Before they know it, they’ve been sitting and talking for almost two hours, students around them filtering in and out as they start and finish their meals. Ashton and Michael sit, completely taken by one another and sharing story after story. It’s not that they have all that much in common, both with very different interests and passions, but Ashton is so easily interested in everything that comes out of Michael’s mouth. Michael counters everything Ashton suggests with a witty remark, proud of himself for the effortless flirting that comes with their conversation.
It’s perfect, until they get to the topic of soulmates again.
“I need to ask, can you only see red too?” Ashton finally says, treading into the dangerous territory. It’s been an elephant in the room since the moment that they sat down.
“Yeah. Not sure what it means though?” Michael offers, quirking at eyebrow up at Ashton. Ashton only nods, folding his arms over one another.
“I don’t either. I was expecting the whole rainbow and all that, but I guess we’re unique? I’m not too bothered by it, like you don’t know what else is out there, you know? I haven’t seen colors so I don’t know what I’m missing?”
Michael ruminates on that for a bit. He’d never thought of it that way, always focused on the future and wondering what it would be like to experience life with the full spectrum. He longed for the colors for his entire life, but now sitting here with Ashton while only being able to see red, he finds himself no longer caring. If this is what life is going to be like, then so be it.
“I like the way you think, Irwin.”
Ashton winks, smirking slightly at Michael. It might not be what he expected, but Michael knows he sure isn’t upset with having Ashton as his soulmate, even if there’s still a nagging feeling in his chest that something is missing. For now, he’ll be content to get to know Ashton better.
October
Luke
Picking out a Halloween costume shouldn’t be hard, really. Luke has picked out a Halloween costume every year for as long as he can remember, choosing something that looked appealing just based on the description. He’s truly never had a hard time picking out a costume before, but this year is significantly different from the rest.
Luke promised Calum that he would go to a football team costume party with him this upcoming weekend and he’d procrastinated getting a costume for weeks. Calum’s only requirement is that they couldn’t have matching costumes, so Luke was set to pick out anything he wanted. “ They’re corny and awful” Calum had said when Luke asked for clarification and honestly, Luke agreed. Unless they were well thought out and executed, matching costumes looked cheesy, and the last thing that Luke wants is to be basic in the eyes of Calum’s friends.
Granted, Calum and his friends were all dressing up as variations of Taylor Swift music video characters, so Luke isn’t sure how much more basic someone could get.
Luke figured that going to the local Halloween store would be the perfect stop to find a costume, but so far he’s been nothing but frustrated with every piece he’s seen. Between being tauntingly reminded that he can see red on the costumes and having the added pressure of having to find something perfect enough to please Calum, Luke is terrified of choosing the wrong costume. There’s too much at stake this year, even if Calum would love Luke if he showed up in a paper bag.
So he’s perusing the aisles of the shop, getting increasingly discouraged by the fact that he can only see the red in the costumes. There’s a ketchup bottle that calls his name with the red bright in the packaging, but that would look stupid without a mustard counterpart. A spider also looks like a plausible option, but then he thinks about knocking into other people with his extra arms, so he moves away from it.
Fake blood on a vampire face is more interesting now that he can see colors, never fully understanding why grey liquid flowed from mouths before he was able to see the color. Everything makes just a little more sense now, though he’s still frustrated that he can’t see all the colors of the costumes.
Luke and Calum tried their hardest to figure out why they weren’t able to see all the colors following their first day together. No matter who they asked, no one had any ideas as to what was wrong with their colors. It was infuriating, trying to figure out what was wrong with them. Every other soulmate couple was happy and thriving in the world with a full rainbow of colors ahead of them, yet Calum and Luke were stuck with just red and shades of grey.
Still, it wasn’t like they were unhappy at all. Luke was the happiest he's ever been since he found Calum. There was a bit of a learning curve to having a roommate who he actually liked spending time with along with a roommate who was his soulmate, but after they got over the initial “get to know you” stage, things were so smooth, it was almost unfair. They transitioned into being boyfriends soon after meeting, deciding there was no point in trying to avoid having feelings for one another. Being with another human shouldn’t feel this easy, no conflicts or struggles too big for them to overcome when they were together more than just standard roommate spats.
Luke tries not to focus on Calum and their Situation while looking through the racks, getting lost in the Monster Mash playing over the loudspeaker. He doesn’t notice the employee coming up next to him until it’s too late. He’s got his hands around a spiderman costume, red fabric next to a shade of grey.
“Can I help you find something?” a voice says from next to him. Luke jumps and takes a step back at the sudden companion, tripping over his own feet and falling flat on his ass. Luke blinks at the man’s combat boots and black pants, embarrassed at his own inability to not be the most awkward person at every moment. The costume sits on his lap between them.
“Oh crap, I’m sorry, let me help you,” the man says, extending his hand down towards Luke, a little anchor tattoo on the man’s thumb.
Luke takes the hand at the same moment that he looks up, making eye contact with the employee. The man gasps and withdraws his hand like he’s been shocked, fear crossing his face instantly. He’s pale, like he’s seen a ghost, as he blinks down at Luke. Or, more specifically, blinks down at the costume on Luke’s lap.
“Wha-” Luke starts, tilting his head down a little to see what the man is looking at.
And well, the other color on Spiderman’s costume is there. Luke isn’t quite sure what color that is, but he knows it’s different from the red that he’s come to know over the past month. As Luke looks around the store, he can see this color in more costumes, taking over his vision.
When he looks back at the man, his eyes are slightly watery and his mouth is open, poised like he’s about to say something. Luke’s eyes flash down to the nametag on his shirt, “Michael written in bolded font. Before Luke has a chance to say anything to him, Michael turns around and bolts for the exit, leaving Luke sitting on the floor with a crumpled costume in his hands.
Luke sits on the floor for a moment before getting up slowly, working almost on autopilot. He walks to the cashier, some other person ready to ring him out. “Uh, I think Michael left,” Luke tells them stupidly, face crumpled in contemplation still.
“Saw him leave, hope everything is okay,” the worker says, “That’ll be $40.”
Luke fishes out his money, periodically looking over to the door as if Michael is about to come bursting back in. He wishes he had tried to stop him, to be able to talk to him more before he had just vanished like that. Luke wants to know more about him, considering that Michael must be his soulmate too?
God, Luke needs to get home and talk to Calum.
“Hey, do you know anything about Michael?” Luke asks the cashier, earning a skeptical look in return. “Fuck, I realize how that sounds, but like. I need to get in contact with him.”
The cashier shakes his head, “Man I know nothing about him, think he’s a student though. We don’t talk.”
Luke shakes his head in understanding, taking his bag and receipt before offering a weak thank you. He heads out to the car and throws the bag on his front seat, not even sure if he bought the right size in the end with all the confusion. He contemplates calling his mom immediately to talk it through, but that doesn’t seem too fair to Calum.
The drive back to campus is riddled with Luke trying to figure out what the fuck just happened there. It’s pretty obvious that Michael is Luke’s soulmate, but Calum is also Luke’s soulmate. It doesn’t make sense, how Luke suddenly can see blue (as determined by a trusty Google search of the colors just like what Calum had done when they first found out they were soulmates). The only logical explanation that his mind can create is that Michael, whoever he is, is also Luke’s soulmate.
Even then, he finds himself getting distracted by the beautiful blue sky above him, finally able to appreciate the expanse of sky. He never quite understood what it meant to have a beautiful sunny day other than just a few various shades of grey. But this, pale blue and white puffy clouds, is breathtaking.
It’s all he can think about as he parks his car and walks up the stairs to his and Calum’s dorm room. He sits in the driver’s seat for far longer than he really should, trying to figure out how to explain to Calum that he has another soulmate who isn’t Calum and now he can see blue, but Calum still can’t.
It’s not fair, Luke was happy with Calum and just Calum. Adding someone else into the mix is sure to complicate things, even if Luke has no idea who Michael is or how to contact him again. He could probably stalk him at work to talk to him, but that would probably come off really fucking creepy. He doesn’t want to be the creepy soulmate.
Luke finally works up the courage to go upstairs and face Calum, accepting that he hasn’t done anything wrong and it’s not his fault that Michael made him see blue. There’s nothing they can do about it now other than talk it through. But yet Luke is ever the overthinker, terrified that Calum is going to be disgusted by the idea that Luke has another soulmate and he’s going to leave him alone forever.
Luke takes the steps up to their room slowly, prolonging the inevitable. Maybe if he waits long enough, the blue will fade from his vision.
It doesn’t. Instead he approaches his room and the blue walls in the hall haunt him, a present reminder of the situation he’s gotten himself into. When he unlocks the door, Calum is lounging on Luke’s bed, leaning back against his pillow with a text book on his lap. Luke loves coming back to their room to Calum in his space. They still sleep in their own beds, determined to not just jump into things too quickly since they’ve only known each other for a month. He knows people move far faster than they have, but thankfully Calum has been extremely open to whatever Luke wants, more than willing to go at whatever pace is most comfortable.
“Hey,” Calum smiles, closing the book and putting it on Luke’s nightstand, “Did you get a costume?”
Luke nods, dropping the bag on his desk before kicking off his shoes and pulling himself up onto the bed, laying flat on his chest with his head in Calum’s lap. Calum’s hand immediately goes to Luke’s curls, untangling the knots from the day meticulously in an effort not to hurt Luke. Luke wishes that Calum would accidentally tug too hard and cause him pain, since Luke knows he’s about to hurt Calum himself.
“Yeah, but uh, I have something to tell you,” Luke mumbles into the fabric of Calum’s joggers.
“Come again?” Calum says, coaxing Luke’s head to sit sideways.
Luke sighs and heaves himself up so he’s sitting next to Calum. He crosses his legs and laces his fingers together, purposely looking anywhere but at Calum. He worries his lip between his teeth, inhaling deeply.
“You’re scaring me,” Calum says after a moment, reaching out to put a hand on Luke’s knee, “Just tell me what’s up?”
Luke clenches his eyes shut and blows a breath out through his mouth. When he opens his eyes, Calum is staring back at him with nothing but concern across his face. It makes Luke’s heart ache, seeing such unfiltered love in his eyes despite what Luke is about to throw at him.
“Promise me you’re not going to leave me alone?” Luke whispers, knowing fully well how dramatic he sounds. He just can’t stomach the fact that this will absolutely alter their relationship forever. Hell, this will alter their lives forever.
“Hey, babe, look at me,” Calum insists, ducking his head down a little so that he can meet Luke’s lowered gaze. Luke missed when his vision started to get hazy with unshed tears, blinking furiously to clear them from his eyes. He needs to be mature about this and not catastrophize the entire situation before he even has a chance to talk it through with Calum.
“Luke whatever it is, I promise you I’m right here with you. We’re soulmates, yeah?”
Instead of responding, Luke turns towards the poster on the wall and points at the blue lettering. “Do you know what color this is?” he asks, looking back at Calum. Calum looks utterly confused, tilting his head at Luke.
“That’s blue. I… I can see blue.”
It takes Calum a moment to process what Luke is saying, looking between Luke and the letters on the wall, “I don’t understand. You can see blue? When did that happen? I still can’t see anything?”
Luke inhales. “I was at the Halloween store, I was trying to find a costume and one of the employees ran into me. Like, literally ran into me and knocked me on my ass. When I looked up at him, he looked fucking terrified. And that’s when I realized that I could see another color.”
Luke watches the wheels turn in Calum’s head, brain working to make sense of what Luke is saying. It dawns on him, slowly, and Luke watches the realization set in.
“He’s your soulmate?” Calum’s voice is tiny and weak, barely audible over the way he swallows. He looks straight ahead, looking up and over Luke’s shoulder rather than at him directly. It’s horrible, seeing Calum look so insecure and confused. Luke would take it all away in a moment if he could.
“I think so.”
Calum removes the hand that was still on Luke’s knee, placing it on his own lap. The skin there feels cold now without Calum’s grounding touch. Luke wants to fold himself over Calum and hide him away from the world, to make them forget what’s going on here and go back to living life as just Calum and Luke, rather than Calum and Luke and also maybe Michael?
“Cal,” Luke starts, cutting himself off immediately when Calum closes his eyes and rests his head against the wall behind him. He doesn’t know what to say that could make this better, unable to read the emotions on Calum’s face. He’s built a wall up that’s never been there before and Luke doesn’t think that he has the tools to break it down, not when he’s so incredibly confused himself.
“So,” Calum starts, clearing his throat when it cracks, “Are you gonna move in with him?”
The dejected tone of voice hits Luke straight in the heart and he lets out a sob, halfway to a whimper with the pain in his chest. Luke was worried about Calum leaving him because he has another soulmate, but never once did it cross Luke’s mind that Calum would think that Luke was going to leave him.
“What, Cal, no, I, never, you-” Luke stammers, unable to figure out what path his mind wants to take. He needs to reassure Calum that he’s it and Michael doesn't matter, not even the slightest. Luke would be content to never see Michael ever again if it made Calum happy.
Luke inhales and tries again, “I’m not leaving you. I was afraid you were going to leave me.”
Calum’s eyes snap open, “Are you crazy? You’re the one who just found your soulmate.” There’s a venom in Calum’s tone that Luke didn’t anticipate hearing.
“You’re my soulmate, Cal. Nothing is going to change that.”
Calum deflates a little, shoulders sagging at the confirmation. “But he let you see another color,” Calum tries to rationalize, eyes finally locking with Luke’s again.
“He did, but he also ran away the moment that he realized. So I don’t think he’s quite accepted this at all either,” Luke says. There’s a heavy moment where neither of them say anything, both lost in their own thoughts.
“Are you okay?” Calum finally asks, shifting on the bed a little to look over at Luke. Luke huffs out a laugh, crossing his arms over themselves to shield himself from the world. Calum’s wall visibly crumbles a little.
“Honestly? I’m really fucking confused. I don’t understand what the hell happened and why Michael let me see another color. I want answers, but really all I want is for you to cuddle me and tell me that it’s going to be okay.”
Luke can see the rest of Calum’s wall tumble completely, bricks falling away to reveal Calum’s wounded heart. In one fluid movement, Calum turns onto his side while also pulling Luke down and into his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around Luke’s shoulders. With the restricted range of movement, Luke fists his hands in Calum’s t-shirt, pushing his face into the crook of his neck right under his jaw. He lets out a shaky breath that he didn’t know he was holding, warm air blasting back at him as it bounces off Calum’s collarbone.
“I love you, you know that right?” Calum whispers, turning his hand so it falls back into Luke’s hair. It’s a comforting gesture for both of them, Luke reveling in the physical intimacy of a tender touch like this, one that he’s never experienced before Calum, and Calum grounded by the openness Luke has to being loved by Calum.
“I love you so much,” Luke replies, “Nothing will ever change that. Ever.”
As much as Luke wants to believe that, he’s pretty sure that he’s lying to both himself and Calum. Even though he knows nothing about Michael and only saw him for a split second, Luke can already feel the attachment growing in his chest. His heart pushes a tiny piece of Calum out of the way for the seedling of Michael to grow, ready to blossom into something more when Luke gives it the chance.
For now, that plant is shaded by the all encompassing love for Calum, restricting its potential to gain access to sunlight. Luke wants it to stay this way for as long as possible, unwilling to let things change between him and Calum. Still, he knows that this is the first step in a major life altering moment and even with the stress of the unknown, Luke feels settled by the idea that there is someone else out there who is made for him as well.
Michael
From the second that Michael locked eyes with the guy sitting on the floor of the store, he hasn’t been able to breathe. He couldn’t get out of the damn store fast enough, sucking in horrible gasping breaths of air in a failing attempt to calm himself down. He almost doesn’t even notice the bright sky above him, flooded with color that he’s never been able to see before.
The only thing that matters to Michael at this moment is Ashton.
He honestly couldn’t even tell you how he made it back to Ashton’s apartment, completely on autopilot as he flies through the streets. His chest feels like it’s on fire, anxiety flaring heavily as he rushes to get back to Ashton as soon as he can. That’s the only thing on his mind now, getting home and safe and far away from whatever just happened at work. Work. Shit, he just left work in the middle of his shift without even giving any warning. He’s probably going to get fired now and that’s going to mess with their plans to move in together after the fall semester is over and Michael can get out of his housing contract with the college.
He desperately pushes those thoughts away as he crosses into the building, tripping up the steps in his haste. Without even thinking, he tries to pull the door open, frustrated when it’s locked. Michael fumbles to find his keys, knowing fully well that they’re at work in his locker with his phone, all left there in his rapid exit.
He tries the door knob again before kicking the door, pissed off that he made it all the way here and he can’t even get inside. His hands shake with the action, nerves crawling up his throat and suffocating him. Even if he tried, Michael doesn’t think that he could get himself back to work to get his keys and phone. He’s better off sitting here and waiting for whenever Ashton gets home and-
“Mike?” Ashton asks, opening the apartment door with a confused look on his face. “I thought you were-”
Ashton is cut off by Michael launching himself at his boyfriend. Ashton stumbles back but catches himself on the doorframe, wrapping an arm around Michael’s torso as he pulls him into the apartment. The second the door is closed, Michael melts to the floor, collapsing in on himself miserably.
“Woah, okay, what’s going on,” Ashton says, sinking to the ground next to Michael. He braces himself on the wall, pulling Michael to him as best as he can.
The world is spinning and Michael can’t seem to get a grip on reality, too thrown off by the fact that he suddenly can see another color and has another soulmate who he never knew existed and things are exponentially more complicated now and he doesn’t want to be a freak who has more than one person made for him and why can’t things just be normal for once?
He doesn’t realize he’s hyperventilating until Ashton pushes him away a little bit, putting space in between them. Great, now Ashton doesn’t even want anything to do with him because he’s broken and a freak and he’s going to be alone forever even after him and Ashton just got together.
“Hey, can you breathe for me? In four, hold seven, out eight. Lets do it together, yeah?” Ashton says, turning Michael so he can press his hands against Michael’s shins. Michael blinks. He focuses on Ashton’s face. He looks concerned. It’s a far cry from the disgust that Michael had imagined there. Okay, he can breathe, that’s not too hard. He follows Ashton’s rhythm, nodding his head along with each set they complete.
When he’s sufficiently calmed down, breathing steadier and eyes less wild, Michael offers the weakest smile at Ashton, taking one of the hands that was still on his ankle. He laces their fingers together, squeezing once before shifting back to sit with his back towards Ashton’s chest.
“Can we go to the couch instead?” Ashton huffs, shifting a bit under Michael’s weight. Michael rolls his eyes but stands, offering a shaky hand to Ashton. He pulls him up and Ashton wraps an arm around Michael’s waist, leading them out of the hallway and into the living room.
Ashton settles into his spot, looking expectantly at Michael, who in turn sits on the opposite side of the couch, as far from Ashton as he can be. He tries to ignore the wounded expression, knowing he needs to keep his distance from Ashton in an effort of self preservation in case this all goes wrong. Not in case, when, his mind corrects.
“So what happened? Shouldn’t you be at work?” Ashton asks softly, pulling his legs up to sit cross legged.
Michael plays with the string on a bracelet just for something to do with his hands, twiddling the end uselessly. He wants to be straight up with Ashton, to tell him exactly what just happened, but the words escape him. How is he supposed to tell his other half that apparently there is someone else out there that is also made for him? It’s an awful thought taking up residency in his head.
“Mike,” Ashton prompts, smiling tenderly when Michael makes eye contact. It’s soothing, seeing how calm and accepting Ashton has an even temperament while Michael is in the midst of panicking. They’re made for each other, perfect opposites in the ways that matter, but all too alike in others.
Michael takes a quick survey of the room, taking in the color now making up parts of the room that were grey before. Some of Ashton’s framed photos are more bright now, sky crisp in the images.
“What color is the sky?” Michael asks, voice barely above a whisper.
“Blue? What the fuck does that have to do with anything?” Ashton scoffs.
Michael just stares at Ashton for a moment, waiting to see if he’ll be able to connect the dots. He’s always the one to figure things out rationally between the two of them, the one who decided that him and Michael should move in together, the one who keeps them grounded when Michael is going to float off into space at any moment.
He sees the moment that Ashton comprehends what’s happening, the lightbulb going off in his mind. As soon as that realization hits, it fades into confusion, Ashton’s mouth opening and closing uselessly as he figures out something to say in response to the news.
Michael sighs, “I’ll explain. I was at work and this kid, well he wasn’t a kid, he’s probably our age but anyway, he was looking around lost. So I went to help him and scared him so bad that he fell over and when I tried to help him up, we looked at each other and it was the weirdest fucking thing because I could see his eyes get colored? Like his eyes are blue, so like I saw the color show up. I’ve never experienced anything like it before, it was fucking insane.”
Ashton stares at him blankly, nerves settling into Michael’s chest again. Ashton never is rendered speechless, he always has something intellectual or witty to say back to Michael. But Michael has finally found the one thing that baffles Ashton entirely.
“What happened then?” Ashton finally asks, licking his lips and looking down at his hands.
“Then I left. Like literally left work in the middle of the day because I was having a panic attack. So that’s fun, I’m probably going to get fired for leaving in the middle of the shift too, plus I left all my stuff there so I need to go back there today to get it before we close. Which that’s just fucking wonderful, considering I’m gonna look like a damn fool,” Michael rambles, feeling his heart rate increase again with every word that comes out of his mouth.
“You’re not going to look like an idiot, I promise. I’ll go with you,” Ashton confirms.
“That’s not the point and you know it,” Michael counters.
Ashton sighs heavily, “So you have another soulmate. What are we going to do about it?”
It’s not like he hadn’t thought about it already, what happens now. He just doesn't know what to do now, knowing that there’s someone else out there who’s made for him just as much as Ashton is.
“This isn’t fair,” Michael whines, putting his head in his hands.
Ashton laughs under his breath, “What do you mean? Consider yourself lucky, you have more than one person who’s going to be hopelessly in love with you. You’ve won the lottery, Mike. You get double the love and affection.”
That’s a thought Michael hadn’t considered. He figured that his soulmate must be panicking uselessly like he is, unsure what to do with himself as he tries to navigate the world of having a second soulmate. He hadn’t considered it to be a good thing, instead choosing to focus on the negatives like he always does. Ashton balances him out too well, being the voice of reason to all his stress.
“Hadn’t thought about it like that,” Michael mutters, stretching out his legs so they hit Ashton’s knee. The first peace offering.
Ashton echoes his offering by pulling Michael’s legs so they’re slung over his lap, hands now folded on top of Michael’s knees. It’s a practiced movement, a position that they’ve been in time and time again. Ashton learned quickly that Michael needs physical reassurance that things are okay, thriving on the affection.
“Course you hadn’t, that’s why you have me,” Ashton smirks, tugging Michael closer to him.
“What would I do without you,” Michael gasps dramatically, throwing his head back onto the couch.
“Good thing you’ll never have to know,” Ashton replies, pressing a quick kiss to Michael’s temple.
The conversation isn’t over, but Michael is content to leave it be for now. He knows he has Ashton in his corner when things go wrong, and that’s all that really matters.
November
Luke
Luke is sitting on their bed, two twins newly pushed together to make one large, king sized bed compared to their own individual beds, when Calum comes tumbling into the room. He trips over his feet in his haste to get in, grinning wildly as he launches himself at Luke. He presses kisses all over every inch of skin that he can possibly reach, sending Luke into a fit of laughter as he tries to get away from Calum.
“What are you doing,” Luke laughs, pushing on Calum’s shoulder to get some space between them. Calum just huffs out a laugh and drops himself down onto Luke, trapping Luke’s hands between them.
“Get off me,” Luke whines, wiggling below Calum as he tries to get out from under his weight. It doesn’t work, Calum simply putting his head in the crook of Luke’s neck and arms around his shoulders. “What has you so affectionate?” Luke laughs, tilting his head so it rests against Calum’s.
“Can’t wanna love my soulmate?” Calum mumbles into Luke’s skin. Still, all these months later, the confirmation of soulmates still sends Luke’s heart racing and makes his face flush. He has Calum, now and forever, as his.
His mind flashes to Michael again, as it does periodically. Luke still imagines the panicked look on Michael’s face and wonders what was going through his head when he rushed through the front door and left Luke’s life. He didn’t even have a chance to talk to the man before he disappeared.
Luke had tried desperately to find Michael again, going as far as to casually show up at the Halloween store on more than one occasion to see if he was there. Now Luke has one too many pieces of Halloween costumes littering his closet from feeling too awkward about leaving the store without buying anything. It was only after Luke’s fourth trip to the store that he found out that Michael didn’t work there anymore and like before, no one knew anything about where he lived or much more than his first name.
It wasn’t even like he could search Michael at school, not knowing his last name or anything about him other than he wears dark clothes and has a tiny anchor tattoo. That’s really helpful information when trying to track someone down.
Luke is drawn back to present day with Calum talking into his skin, words muffled by his body. “Wait, repeat yourself? I missed all of that,” Luke says, shifting to move Calum away from him. He falls easily this time, landing on his pillow next to Luke. He’s still smiling, almost radiating happiness as he smiles at Luke.
“Did you know your eyes are the prettiest blue in the whole world,” Calum says, voice low as he searches Luke’s expression for some kind of reaction.
Luke can’t help but let his jaw drop as he pushes himself up to a sitting position, struggling to hold in his excitement, “What! You can see blue?” Luke laughs, borderline hysteric at the idea that Calum can finally see the world the way that Luke does.
He’s been waiting for weeks to see if Calum would ever be able to see more than just the red, even if Calum insisted that he didn’t mind, as long as Luke was happy. Luke felt just a little guilty that Calum was stuck behind him, unable to see the celestial blue sky and the indigo water and the powder blue of Luke’s own eyes. Sometimes, Luke wished that Calum would be able to see the blue instead of him, just so he didn’t have to see the secret way that Calum would deflate when Luke would correct his outfit choices when the shades of blue didn’t match.
“I can, finally,” Calum laughs, leaning in to press a kiss to Luke’s lips carelessly. Luke eagerly returns the kiss, smiling a bit too much to enjoy the kiss as anything more than a celebration.
“What happened! Tell me everything,” Luke laughs when they pull away, biting his lip in anticipation. Luke can’t wait to hear Calum tell him more about Michael, knowing that he must have met the other soulmate in order to finally see his color. Three weeks spent fixating over Michael finally boils down to Calum having met him on his own.
“So his name is Ashton,” Calum starts, Luke abruptly cutting him off.
“Wait, it’s not Michael?” Confusion sets in immediately. Luke had just assumed that Michael would be the other half of their soulmate group, the three of them someday able to live in some sort of comfort of having each other as soulmates, even if Michael wasn’t going to be a romantic soulmate.
Calum frowns, excitement draining from his face, “No, his name was Ashton. He’s a senior, I met him in the bathroom after class. Fucking stupid way to meet your soulmate if you ask me, I was washing my hands and he happened to look at me in the mirror and suddenly I could see my blue shirt. Felt just as weird as when I looked at you for the first time.”
And now Luke understands the way that Calum felt when Luke came home after meeting Michael. The dread of Calum possibly finding Ashton better than Luke sets in, chilling Luke to the core. He was living in the hazy glow of being in love with Calum, blind to the idea that anything, or anyone, would ever come between them. Even when Michael came into the picture, Luke knew nothing about him, so it didn’t seem like anything was going to change for them.
But Calum knows who Ashton is, knows his name and actually talked to him rather than having Ashton bolt from his life. Luke rationalizes the emotion he’s feeling as jealousy, laced with a little bit of terror that he could lose the best thing that's ever happened to him.
“I can see you thinking, tell me what’s going on up there,” Calum says softly, sitting up so he can be level with Luke. Luke hates that Calum can always see through him, especially in times like this where he wants to be able to think things through a little bit before he has to explain himself to Calum.
“I just. This changes a lot,” Luke shrugs, looking down at his lap.
Luke can see Calum shake his head out of the corner of his eye, clearing his throat before he starts to talk. “It’s not going to change anything. It didn’t change anything when you met Michael, so meeting Ashton isn’t going to alter our lives either,” Calum assures him.
Luke rolls his eyes, pushing away from Calum a little bit. “No, it will, because you know who Ashton is. You actually talked to him and he didn’t run away from you. You have another soulmate out there who may actually want you, unlike mine.”
“I mean yeah, I got his phone number so we could talk more. But you didn’t let me finish,” Calum responds, bordering on aggressive, “Ashton has another soulmate too. It’s not like I’m going to up and leave you for him. I love you, Luke, and Ashton probably loves his soulmate too. I promise you that I’m not going anywhere because you were my first soulmate and I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone as much as I love you.”
Luke tries to accept what Calum is saying at face value, but struggles to comprehend the meaning. Calum being on the same page is all that he could want, not ever wanting to be left alone in the dark if Calum were to love Ashton more than he loves Luke. He wouldn’t blame him, since it isn’t like he can control who the universe matches with him for a soulmate.
The guilt seeps in, because even though Luke knows absolutely nothing about Michael, he can’t even tell Calum that he would blindly love Calum and no one else. There’s a small part of him that keeps holding on to Michael, hoping that he will be able to find him again someday and he can rationalize his feelings.
“You can’t be so sure,” is what Luke finally settles on, conflicted heart aching at the levels of love here. He loves Calum, more than he’s ever loved anyone in his entire life. He knows that he loves Michael, even if he only saw him for a minute. And he knows that Calum has to love Ashton; there isn’t a doubt in his mind that Calum will love Ashton if he doesn’t already.
It’s an unfair circle of soulmates that he wishes he didn’t have. Things were simpler when it was just Calum and Luke and their red vision. He would do anything to get back to that time, September being a distant memory at this point.
“You’re right, I can’t. But even if I love Ashton, you were first and I can’t help but think that there’s a reason for that. The universe had me meet you first so we would be together and not give a fuck about whoever else comes down the line.”
Luke laughs, a little choked up, “Your optimism is toxic.”
“What can I say, someone has to balance out your pessimism.”
“I’m a realist! I’m sorry that I won’t follow along in your insistence that it’s just going to be us forever.”
Calum has the decency to look a bit ashamed at that one, even if it makes Luke long to take his words back and promise Calum a life together forever, just the two of them. Neither of them speak for a minute, lost in thoughts of what their lives are becoming. Multiple soulmates isn’t something that they’d heard of before and even after scouring the internet post Luke meeting Michael, they still were only able to find minimal search results on what happens with multiple soulmates. As far as Calum and Luke were able to see, it had only happened when one soulmate died, leaving the second soulmate to find their other partner that would allow them to see the full range of colors. But the poor soulmate who never met the deceased partner would live a life without all their colors.
Tragic, Luke thought when they read that. But now as they’re sitting here with the ability to see blue and red, Luke is more and more sure that they’re going to be some kind of scientific anomaly that will need to be studied and documented. Freaks, really.
“Are you going to get to know Ashton?” Luke finally says, looking up to see Calum staring at him intently. He shivers under his gaze, unsure what Calum is thinking about.
“We’re going to have dinner later to talk. I want to get to know him, if that’s okay with you.”
Luke scrunches his face up, sour taste in his mouth, “You don’t have to ask me for permission to meet your other soulmate. I want you to get to know him better, it’s what you deserve.” Luke can’t help but wish that he had the opportunity to do the same with Michael. Maybe someday.
Calum sighs, “I know, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I promise I’ll come home and tell you all about it. Maybe I’ll even bring back ice cream for later if you’re lucky.”
“If you only bring back mint chip again, I’m separating the beds again.”
“You wouldn’t dare, you like waking up to cuddles too much.”
Luke can’t argue with that one.
Michael
Michael has been pacing since the moment that Ashton left for dinner with Calum. He doesn’t like the pit in his stomach, weighing him down with the anxiety and worry that Ashton is going to come home and want no part of Michael ever again. He’d reassured Michael enough times that this is a simple ‘get to know you’ dinner, just like they had when they first met. Calum deserved as much of a chance as Michael did.
Still, it didn’t make things any easier. He wanted to respect Ashton’s autonomy, let him be independent and have a life outside of Michael. But adding in another soulmate to the mix is terrifying, making Michael’s insecurities balloon once again.
It’s his own fault, because Michael had the same opportunity that Ashton has, he just let it slip away. Michael’s other soulmate was right there and he could have said something, anything, to him before running away. But after being fired from the Halloween store and not knowing who the guy even was, Michael was out of luck. He probably would never see him ever again, left with the recurring nightmare of his baby blue eyes and light curls.
If there’s one thing that Michael regrets in life, it’s running away from the soulmate.
He was so dead set against being the odd one out, the weirdo who had more than one soulmate. He was too afraid that something would come between him and Ashton to even entertain the idea of having someone else in life that would be able to share in the highs and lows. It was only when Ashton pointed out that soulmates are put in your life for a reason that Michael realized how foolish he had been to let him go.
And now he’s stuck while Ashton gets the opportunity to meet his own second soulmate and get to know them. Ashton had left with a kiss and the reassurance that no matter what happened, even if sparks flew tonight, he was going to come home to Michael at the end of the night.
It should have settled some of Michael’s nerves, but instead it made him feel so incredibly guilty that he was holding Ashton back when there was more out there in the world than just Michael. So he takes a seat on the couch and tries to play video games to pass time quicker, getting lost in his online worlds easily. He doesn’t even notice the passing of time until the front door is being unlocked again hours later.
“Mike?” Ashton calls as soon as the door is open. He sounds happy, light in a way that Michael had almost been hoping that he wouldn’t be. The evil part of him hoped that Ashton was going to absolutely hate Calum and things would never work out between them. Though, he knew that was never going to happen.
“Living room!” Michael calls, voice shaking despite himself. He closes out of the game mid round, not even caring that he’s letting his team down. All that matters now is hearing about Ashton’s date. Dinner. Date. Whatever it really was.
Michael hears him in the kitchen, putting something in the fridge before making his way into the living room, a small smile on his face. That alone settles Michael just a little bit, seeing the happiness that Ashton has from today. Michael’s only goal in life is to make Ashton happy, and if that means watching him come home from seeing someone else, so be it.
“How’s Calum?” Michael asks, biting back his own clipped tone. He hopes that it doesn’t come off too aggressive, not wanting to guilt Ashton into stopping what’s going to make him happy. But it’s Ashton and he’s going to do what’s best for him, no matter if it hurts Michael or not. He’s level headed like that, used to being independent and cold to anyone else’s emotions. Slowly they’ve been working on it, getting Ashton more in tune with Michael’s needs too.
“Honest answer or the answer you want to hear?” Ashton asks, settling back against the couch. Michael doesn’t hesitate to put himself under Ashton’s outstretched arm, cuddling into him easily.
“Honest, of course. Don’t sugar coat it for my benefit.”
Ashton sighs. “Calum is great. I can see why we’re soulmates. He’s hilarious and naive and a bit immature but what can you expect from a sophomore. He walks around with rose colored glasses but he has the most interesting way of looking at life. Never shuts up either, so that’s fun.” Ashton pauses, looking down at Michael. Michael averts his eyes quickly, looking down at Ashton’s hand instead of his face.
“He’s not you though, Mike.”
Michael looks back up at Ashton, taking in the honesty in his eyes. He looks worn down in the early evening, the television lighting up his face. His light grey curls are disheveled, like he couldn’t keep his hand out of them. The scruff is settling back onto his face as the exhaustion sets in. Michael hasn’t seen this version of Ashton in a while, the one who has so much on his mind that his physical expression of himself is taking a toll.
“It’s okay if you like him more than me,” Michael answers, even if his heart clenches at the idea. He tries to make it believable, though the pain of living without Ashton ties a noose around his heart. He’s not sure he would be able to live if Ashton wanted to move on with Calum instead, but he would try, if it would make Ashton happy.
“He has another soulmate,” Ashton shares, quietly in lieu of an answer.
Michael twists around to look at Ashton properly. There isn’t a hint of deceit on his face, laying his emotions out for show like he always does. “Why didn’t you say that before?” Michael asks.
“When I met him earlier and mentioned you, he didn’t say anything about having another soulmate. But at dinner, he mentioned that he has Luke, the one who let him see red in the first place. They live together, they’re roommates, assigned to live together when Luke transferred. It’s cute, the way he talks about him.”
Ashton’s smile softens as he talks, likely remembering back to Calum talking endlessly about Luke during dinner. “Did you tell him about me?” Michael asks worriedly. He’s learned a lot through his major about keeping identities private and the faults of being talked about openly, but he also can’t control what Ashton does or doesn’t tell other people about him.
“I didn’t tell him much about who you are, since that’s your life and I shouldn’t be the one telling others about you without your consent. But he knows that I have another soulmate who I’ve been with since September and who I love deeply, in case you forgot.”
Michael smiles and leans up to kiss Ashton’s jaw, the only thing that he can reach without completely removing himself from Ashton’s grip. “You’re too nice to my privacy.”
Ashton smiles down at Michael, “I won’t disrespect your boundaries. I’d love for you to meet Calum in the future, but that’ll be on your own terms and you’ll always have the option to show him as much or as little of yourself as you want. You’re not tethered to him.”
The unspoken “Like I am” sits heavily on Michael’s chest. He’s assured that Ashton still loves him, but it’s still scary, for there to be someone else out there who’s also meant for Ashton, who Ashton has contact with. Michael lets himself drift off into thoughts of blue eyes and confused expressions as they sit in the silent living room.
December
Luke
In the weeks after Calum’s first dinner with Ashton, Luke has been itching to meet Calum’s other soulmate. He’s been extremely patient, he thinks, in waiting until Calum would bring it up on his own, but even with throwing hints around about how Ashton sounds amazing, how Luke misses getting dinner with Calum every night, and every other excuse under the sun, Calum hasn’t gotten the hint.
Luke knows he can’t expect Calum to read his mind, even when he reads Luke’s mind with everything else. He needs to be direct in asking Calum to let him meet Ashton, but confrontation isn’t exactly Luke’s strong suit. He’s much more likely to sit back and let things happen organically, for better or for worse.
Life with Calum has been incredible. They cohabitate so well, learning the ins and outs of each other’s schedules easily. Now that soccer has ended for the year, Calum is around more often. He’s less exhausted and far less smelly than he has been for the past few months, something that Luke is very happy about. It means more morning cuddles in their bed and more nights watching movies and going on drives, less time spent outside watching Calum’s games, no matter how much Luke loved to see Calum doing something he’s passionate about. He doesn’t care much about soccer, but for Calum, he would sit out in the coldest weather and scream the loudest he could for their team.
Though, the end of the season brought Calum spending more time with Ashton too. It doesn’t bother Luke, to have him spend so much time with Ashton, but he would just like to meet Ashton, at least once. They text nearly constantly, Calum always snickering at his phone when they’re both doing their own things. He doesn’t think it should be too much to ask, to meet one of Calum’s closest friends after a month.
Friends doesn’t seem like the right word to use for them, but Luke can’t pinpoint what they are. Calum insists that they’re not romantic in any way, rolling his eyes at the very idea of kissing Ashton as if it’s the most insane thought in the world. He promises that they’re platonic soulmates, less common than romantic soulmates, but not entirely impossible to find.
Calum always reminds him of that, especially late at night when Luke’s mind goes spiralling off into other directions. He feels like a child, having to constantly be reminded of Calum’s love for him, but Calum swears he’ll never get tired of telling Luke he loves him. Balance, Luke thinks.
Luke has finally mentally mustered up the courage to ask Calum to meet Ashton, insisting that it should happen before they go away for winter break, each heading back to their own respective homes. The thought of leaving Calum for four weeks makes Luke’s stomach turn, but he reminds himself that the weeks will pass quickly and he’ll be back with Calum before he knows it.
He waits for Calum to come back from his dinner date with Ashton, eating the leftover pizza they had from dinner the night before with some really stupid reality show on the television. It doesn’t take long for Calum to return, all smiley and laughing from his night. Luke tries not to feel jealous, especially because he knows that they look that stupid and lovestruck when they’re together too.
“Have fun?” Luke asks, leaning over to kiss Calum hello when he gets close enough. Calum hums into the kiss and tries to deepen it, whining when Luke pulls away in favor of hearing Calum speak.
“Yeah, actually we were talking about maybe having a double date, if you’re up for it?”
Luke immediately smiles, reaching forwards again to press another long kiss to Calum’s lips. Calum gasps in surprise, steadying himself with a heavy hand on Luke’s shoulder.
“It’s like you can read my mind. I would love that,” Luke pants when they separate, wrapping his arms around his knees in happiness. Calum returns to getting changed, stepping into sweatpants before joining Luke on the bed.
“Cool, maybe Friday night? Gives Ashton time to make sure soulmate is ready for this too.”
“What’s his soulmate’s name again?” Luke asks, though he’s not sure that he’s ever heard it before.
“He only refers to him as M, so I’m not sure? Maybe Matt? Mark?”
“Michael?” Luke inserts, a hint of a laugh caught in the back of this throat.
Calum pauses, “I never thought about that. Do you think?”
Luke shakes his head, “What would be the odds of that? Of all the M’s in the world, your soulmate’s other soulmate is also my soulmate? That seems a bit excessive. The universe isn’t that kind.”
Calum shrugs, cuddling up into Luke’s side instead. “You never know, fate has a weird way of working sometimes. I’ve heard of crazier things.”
Luke falls asleep with that idea in mind, that maybe, just maybe, things are about to get a lot more complex.
Michael
“That isn’t a good idea.” Michael insists, sitting on the edge of Ashton’s bed. Well, soon to be his and Ashton’s bed, when he moves in after winter break. They’re finally on the cusp of getting to live together, only a mere two weeks left of Michael’s housing contract with the college. Then he’ll get to move in with Ashton and live here full time, as if he hadn’t already been spending most of his time there.
“Why not? I have the kitchen, we can just cook. Sounds better than having to dress all nice and go to a restaurant and act formal, that’s just not us.”
“That’s not what I meant. I meant the whole ‘meeting each other’s soulmates as a double date thing,” Michael clarifies, untying his boots.
Ashton turns around, holding the shirt he was wearing in one hand, fresh hoodie in the other. Michael pointedly ignores looking at Ashton’s bare chest, determined to finish this conversation rather than getting distracted with other things.
“Do you not want to meet Calum?” Ashton asks, trying his hardest to keep the offended expression off his face. Michael instantly feels bad, withdrawing in on himself.
“It isn’t that…” Michael trails off, pushing himself to sit back against the headboard.
Ashton throws on the hoodie and joins Michael on the bed, sitting with one leg tucked under himself and the other dangling off the mattress. “Then what is it? Because you were all for meeting Calum before.”
Michael closes his eyes, breathing in and out through his nose. What is the issue? He wants to know more about this Calum who’s been taking up so much of Ashton’s time, but also. There’s just something in his gut that makes him not want to meet Calum and Luke. He’s never been one to trust his instincts before, especially when they fail him regularly, but there’s just a tiny voice in his mind screaming that this is going to be life changing for him, because the object of Ashton’s attention will no longer be but an imaginary character in his mind.
“I’m scared,” Michael finally relents.
“Mike,” Ashton insists, sliding a little closer to Michael.
“I’m afraid that I’m gonna meet him and hate him, or hate myself. And what happens then? If I hate him, but he’s your soulmate, he’s still going to be around forever. How are things supposed to work then? Or if I see how absolutely perfect he is for you. I see how happy he makes you, what happens when you’re happier with him than you are with me? What the fuck happens to us then? At least now, it’s two separate entities. You have Calum off on the side and you have me here. I’m a jealous monster, I don’t think I can handle the idea of there being someone else out there for you, not when I can actually see him and have tangible proof that he’s real.”
They sit in stunned silence for a few moments, Michael determinedly keeping his eyes screwed shut to keep out Ashton’s judgemental stare.
“Okay, that was a lot,” Ashton breathes, and Michael can feel the bed shift underneath them. His eyes fly open, expecting to see Ashton getting up and walking away from him, leaving him like he deserves. Instead, Ashton is adjusting to sit next to Michael, back against the headboard and feet extended in front of them.
“I’m not sure how to soothe your nerves. I really hope you don’t hate Calum, I mean I don’t think that you possibly could. He’s great, and I know I’m saying that from a biased position, but I really do think that you’re going to get along perfectly. He is perfect for me, but as a friend. As a best friend. But you are my romantic soulmate, I think. I can’t know that for sure, but I love you endlessly, and I don’t know how else I’m supposed to tell you that,” Ashton says, a calm tone to his voice.
Michael deflates a little, “I know I’m being unreasonable. I’m just nervous. I don’t want to lose you, I can’t lose you.”
Ashton wraps his arm around Michael’s shoulder, pulling him close. He presses a kiss to the top of his hair as Michael shifts to wrap himself around Ashton, holding on tight as if that will keep him as his longer. If they’re here, hidden from the world with just the two of them, then maybe Calum and Luke don’t actually exist. That’s enough of a response for Michael, feeling the way that Ashton loops you’ll never lose me, I promise into a hug.
Maybe Michael’s own missing soulmate doesn’t exist either, when he’s safely wrapped up in Ashton. He tries not to think about him too much, happier to pretend he doesn’t exist rather than Michael fixating on him. It’s been two months and he hasn’t managed to see him yet. It’s not like Michael could ever forget either, between the piercing blue eyes and his flushed red lips and the mop of curls on his head. Michael dreams of him frequently, wishing he knew his name to be able to do something more to find him.
Instead, he’s left with just anxiety over Ashton’s additional soulmate and the crushing reality of their situation.
“Will you meet Calum?” Ashton asks again, softly. Michael sticks his hand into Ashton’s lacing their fingers together.
“Of course I will, because it’s important to you. Anything for you.”
Luke
Calum’s been vibrating with excitement since the moment they woke up. After sitting through a few insufferable classes and completing the end of a horribly long assignment, Luke is right there with him, overly excited for their plans for tonight.
Because finally, after what feels like ages but was only a few weeks, Luke gets to meet the allusive Ashton and the even more mysterious M. The nerves of meeting two new people, especially someone who’s as important to Calum as Ashton is, has Luke’s stomach tied in knots, but the excitement is still there.
Calum uses every excuse he can to press kisses to Luke’s checks, forehead, temples, lips. It’s almost never ending affection, still making Luke laugh and push away from Calum. He appreciates the constant reminders that it’s him and Calum in this together, for better or worse.
“What am I supposed to wear?” Calum whines, flicking through the different shirts in his closet. Their closet really, since they basically share every single article of clothing now. Perks of a soulmate who also shares a similar fashion sense, Luke thinks.
“Just do a simple black shirt. Leather jacket over it maybe?” Luke responds, picking up his own button down shirt, red silky material settling on his shoulders. He thinks back to the early days of living with Calum, how worried and insecure he was that he was going to hate Luke for being ace and not want to be his soulmate because of it. The worried, brand new transfer student without a single friend at school who was able to blossom and thrive because of his soulmate’s unconditional love and support at all times.
Luke tries not to let himself get too sappy as he buttons up the shirt, leaving it undone enough at the top to show off the necklaces he’s wearing. By the time that he’s fully dressed and put together, Calum is ready to go too, combing through his hair again as if it’s going to make a difference. He’s nervous, Luke can tell by the way he’s bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. He’s only ever been this nervous right before their qualifying soccer match, but even this seems a little more important than the game.
“Hey,” Luke says softly, coming up behind Calum in their full length mirror. He wraps his arms around Calum’s middle, leaning down a bit to hook his chin over his shoulder. They stare at each other in the mirror, seemingly reading one another’s minds easily.
Luke is confident, ready to meet the other man who’s been taking up Calum’s thoughts. Calum is terrified, but also more ready than he’s ever been to bridge the two parts of his life together.
“I love you,” Luke says, pressing a kiss to Calum’s cheek.
Calum smiles sheepishly, “I love you. Let’s go, we don’t want to keep them waiting any longer.”
The ride to Ashton’s apartment is filled with nervous laughter and music playing from their joint Spotify playlist. They hold hands over the center console, Calum’s clammy hands slipping when he moves to turn the wheel, always insisting on driving even when they’re in Luke’s car. Luke sings along to All Time Low as they drive, passing by rows of houses. The GPS indicates that they’re coming up on their destination and Calum starts to slow the car, elongating the moments. They find a spot on the street and stare up at the apartment building above them, towering high.
“Ready?” Luke offers, swallowing down his fear. Be strong for Calum. Be friendly and kind and personable. Go in there with your best foot forwards. This is important, Luke reminds himself.
Calum inhales deeply, opening his own car door and getting out swiftly. Luke follows behind, meeting him on the sidewalk. They walk to the building hand in hand, stopping to hit the button for floor four. The elevator humming is the only sound between them, buzzing in their ears as it seems to struggle to hold up their weight. They walk down the hallway, Calum’s hand shaking in Luke’s.
They knock on apartment 409, hearing the “door’s open!” call from within. They pause for a moment longer, Luke turning to look at Calum completely. Calum’s eyes are wide, searching over Luke’s face for any hint that he’s as stressed out as Calum seems to be. Luke was able to carefully mask the nerves coursing within him in favor of making sure that Calum is completely comfortable.
“I love you,” Luke reminds him once more, leaning in for a short kiss before turning to open the door.
There’s music playing down the hall, drawing them towards the kitchen. Luke hears the voices chattering away, Ashton and M talking about the pasta dish and arguing lightly about the correct amount of sauce to put on it. Calum smiles a little at the sound of Ashton’s voice, making Luke smile a little wider at the involuntary smile. He’s incredibly happy for Calum, thrilled that he has someone else out there who makes him that giddy. Luke longs a little for Michael, wishing there was someone that he felt that intense connection with, like Calum and Ashton do.
They walk into the kitchen doorway together, stopping when they see the two men with their backs to Calum and Luke.
“Hey-” Calum starts, as Ashton and M both turn around.
“Michael,” Luke breathes, mouth falling open in shock. His eyes flit from Michael’s nervous expression to Ashton, and that’s when it clicks.
“Holy shit,” Ashton says, visibly tensing with wide eyes. His stare moves from Calum to Luke quickly, gaping at both of them.
“Oh my-” Calum breathes, looking at Michael.
The jar of sauce falls from Michael’s hands, hitting the floor and shattering into a million pieces.
The world is colored.
Luke isn’t sure how he knows the colors now, but Ashton’s walls are a pale green, matching the color of his Michael’s eyes. Ashton’s shirt has a tiny orange logo over the pocket. The magnets on Ashton’s fridge are multicolored, fluorescent and bright in the light. The pasta is a pale yellow, green salad, blue plates. Tiled floor is blue mixed with white and grey.
The world is colored.
Luke looks back up at the others in the kitchen, various degrees of shock on their faces. Calum looks the least surprised of anyone, more bordering on absolutely glee in the glow of Ashton and Michael. Michael looks half ashamed, half completely awestruck, staring directly back at Luke, but periodically moving to look at Calum. Ashton looks puzzled, but with a hint of intrigue, eyes trailing over Luke specifically. Luke can only imagine what his own face looks like right now.
“Well.” Luke states, not having much else to say but needing to break the silence.
“We should get this sauce cleaned up,” Ashton adds, reaching over to get the paper towels.
“I”ll help,” Calum quickly offers, rushing to Ashton’s side like an eager puppy.
“Maybe Luke and Michael can go to the living room to talk?” Ashton offers, shooting Michael a look when he turns to Ashton with a pleading expression. He delfates instantly, nodding and gesturing towards the doorway. Luke sends one last parting glance back at Calum, seeing him enthralled by Ashton rather than paying any mind to what Luke and Michael are doing.
When they reach the living room, Luke sits on the corner of the couch while Michael takes an arm chair, both sitting in tense silence for a minute before Michael opens his mouth.
“I’m really glad to see you,” he says softly, smiling at Luke across the room. Luke can’t help but be confused by the admission, thoroughly expecting that Michael was going to act like he had never met Luke before. He ran out of the Halloween store so fast that Luke was sure Michael wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.
“What?” Luke asks, staring blankly at Michael as if he didn’t even comprehend the actual words out of his mouth.
Michael looks down at his hands, “I wanted to find out who you were, but I had no way of contacting you. I didn’t know your name or where you came from or anything. I was just hoping one day that I would run into you again because I had no other way of finding you again.”
Luke nods, disgesting Michael’s words. It makes sense that Michael was looking for Luke since Luke had been looking for Michael. “That makes sense. I tried coming by the store a few times to see if I could see you again.”
“Yeah, got fired for leaving in the middle of the day. Kinda deserved that one.”
A loud laugh escapes Luke against his will and he covers his mouth, “Fuck, sorry, that’s not funny.”
Michael snickers, “No, it’s absolutely hilarious now. Couldn’t handle meeting one of my soulmates so I ditch work in the middle of the day? Kinda deserve to get fired for that one.”
Soulmates. The word hangs heavy in the air between them, reminding them of what just happened. They need Calum and Ashton in order to have a full conversation about what the hell just happened and what this means for all of them.
It makes sense, for all of them to be soulmates like this. Luke can’t help but relax at the overwhelming calm that he feels now with Calum and Ashton and Michael all in the same place. Nevermind the fact that they can all now see colors, but things feel complete in a way that they never did with just Calum, or even with Calum and the one meeting with Michael.
Luke stops scanning the room, staring directly at Michael now that he can see him fully in color. He’s got blond hair, the darkest pink lips Luke has never seen in his entire life, and green eyes flicking across Luke’s face. He’s got a few more black line tattoos visible with his short sleeve shirt, thick dark bands around his skin. It’s hitting Luke now that Michael is the first person he’s truly seen since being able to see colors, which honestly feels a bit unfair to Calum, especially since Luke has been waiting to see him in full since the day they met.
It seems like Michael has the same thought Luke does because they both stand, laughing at the abruptness of both of them moving in sync already. But before they can even leave the room, Calum and Ashton enter, laughing about something that Luke and Michael aren’t privy to.
Luke feels like he’s seeing Calum for the first time all over again. He’s got warm brown eyes and dark hair, tanned skin and pale pink lips. Luke knew he was gorgeous from the moment he laid eyes on him, even in pictures, but seeing him in brilliant color is infinitely better. He’s truly radiant in a way that Luke’s never known before.
Luke takes a moment to look at Ashton too, taking him in for the first time since they met. His hair is golden, with hazel eyes and a kind smile. He’s got large moon phase tattoos on his forearms, red and black ink making their way up his body. He’s staring directly at Michael with a private smile on his face, making Luke uncomfortable like he’s looking in on a moment he shouldn’t be a part of, but at the same time, it’s the most like home he’s felt since. Well, ever.
“We should chat, huh?” Ashton says, breaking the spell on the room. Calum comes to take his place next to Luke, pressing as close as he possibly can. Luke doesn’t know if it’s meant to be a comfort for him or for Calum himself, but he appreciates it either way.
Michael sits on the chair again, Ashton taking a place on the floor next to Michael’s legs. He wraps an arm around Michael’s knees, holding both of them in place. Michael shifts to drape his upper body across the arm of the chair, allowing him to be as close to Ashton as he possibly can. It’s charming to see that they’re equally as clingy as Calum and Luke are. It settles something inside Luke, seeing them wrapped up in each other.
“So,” Ashton says, using his pointer finger to draw little circles on Michael’s leg, “You’re Michael’s long lost soulmate.” It’s less of a question and more of a confirmation of what they all already know.
“Luke, yeah. Nice to meet you,” Luke smiles, unconsciously moving closer to Calum, as if that’s possible.
“This is fucking nuts,” Michael laughs, like he isn’t able to hold it in any longer.
Calum laughs with him, shaking his head in disbelief. The energy in the room is antsy, like no one quite knows that to do here.
“And all this time, you were worried I was going to leave you for Ashton. Now I’m gonna be worried that you are going to leave me for Ashton,” Calum teases, squeezing Luke’s knee lightly.
“I was worried about the same thing. Well, backwards I guess, but yeah,” Michael adds, looking down at Ashton thoughtfully.
“I’ve never heard of someone having three soulmates before,” Luke says.
Ashton nods, “I hadn’t either. But when I found Calum, I started looking into theories. The problem is that you can’t prove the multiple soulmate thing. Most people don’t realize that they’re special with multiple soulmates until it's too late. And even then, scientists still think multiple soulmates are fake. If we were to tell them, they would brush us off.”
“Disappointing, I wanted to go down in history,” Calum sighs, a joking tone to his voice.
“At least we know, yeah? That we’re all soulmates. That’s all that matters,” Michael says.
“How is this going to work?” Luke suddenly inserts, feeling the anxiety crawl up in him a little bit. What was going on with him and Calum worked so perfectly, just the two of them. Adding Ashton in was enough, just since him and Calum were clearly best friends. But now adding in Michael too with the knowledge that Luke was also both of their soulmates… It's more complicated now than they ever thought it would be.
“Well,” Michael starts, “I for one don’t want to share Ashton romantically.”
“Michael,” Ashton hisses, turning his head to glare up at his boyfriend.
“No, I’m on the same page,” Calum says, “I mean, I don’t want to share Luke romantically. And no offense Ash, I’m not interested in you like that either. Or you, Michael, but that seems extra reasonable since we just met.”
“So we’re staying as our own partners?” Luke asks for clarification. It both settles something inside of him and makes his heart lurch, nervous that he won’t get the opportunity to know Michael and Ashton as well. He agrees with Calum though, it wouldn’t work for them as a four part relationship. He doesn’t quite know how he knows that, but the thought is so ingrained in him that his faith in it is unshakable.
“I think we need to all get to know each other more before we make any decisions about soulmates in any way. I think I agree with all of you, but how can we really be sure until we take the time? I would hate to miss out on something because we’re too comfortable in the way we are right now,” Ashton says diplomatically.
Michael nods, seeming to digest what Ashton is saying, “It makes sense. I’m not sure I like it, but I respect that point of view.”
Luke lets his eyes trail from Ashton to Michael to Calum and back again, taking in each person’s expressions. They surprisingly look content with this, even Michael who Luke thought was going to cause the biggest stink about this. He seemed extremely protective of Ashton, though that protective energy was reciprocated by Ashton tenfold. They were definitely made for one another.
Calum turns his face just slightly, catching Luke’s eye. He smiles softly, the unsaid “Is this okay? shining clearly through his soft eyes. Luke returns the smile, a silent confirmation, which then has Calum’s eyes squinting with his glee.
“So dinner is ruined,” Calum elects to say in place of continuing the conversation, “Can we order pizza?”
Michael borderline moans at the idea, “A man after my own heart already.”
It sends Calum into a fit of laughter, Michael dramatically clutching his chest while Ashton shakes his head fondly.
It’s new. It’s strange. It’s unique. But most of all, it’s perfect, Luke thinks. Sitting on Ashton’s couch with the three of them, trading jokes and laughs and gentle touches. He knows this is going to be a lot of effort, making the four of them work, but it’s going to be worth it in the end.
Things never felt fully complete until Luke had Ashton and Michael right there, rounding out his ability to see colors and offering a new perspective on life that Luke never thought he would experience. He was content with Calum, really, but things never felt more perfect.
And as they’re sitting around the living room with large boxes of pizza strewn out across the place randomly, Luke can feel the love sink in fully. He watches Calum and Michael throw napkins at each other like they’ve been best friends for their entire lives, Ashton eating all the leftover veggies that Michael picked off his pizza. Luke sitting in the corner of the couch, legs stretched out across the plush sofa as if he’s at home.
Because he is at home; they all are now that they’ve found their missing pieces. Luke thinks that even if they weren’t able to see colors, he would know that these are his people. The world has never looked as beautiful as it does with all his soulmates together.
