Archive of Our Own ^beta

Sakusa Kiyoomi did his best to not stand out. Everything he did he wanted to do it quietly, discreetly. Yet, everyone held the greatest expectations for him. He was the best ace in Japan yet his parents wanted him to be better. He had the best grades in his year yet his teachers wanted more from him. He was being recruited for Japanese Youth Volleyball camps yet his coaches needed him to try harder. Everyone pushed him to the brim, exhausting him past his breaking point. 

Kiyoomi scowled at these thoughts and pulled his mask over his face, slipped on his jacket and walked down the steps of his house. His parents were in the kitchen, only his mother glanced up as he walked down the steps. 

“Your coffee is on the table over there,” his mother instructed. 

Coffee. It was the only thing that kept Kiyoomi going when he was constantly being pushed and pushed. But as much of a bitter person he was, Kiyoomi hated bitter coffee. He liked adding cream and nutmeg and even a bit of vanilla, sometimes hazelnut depending on his mood. 

He added all his favorites into the travel mug and waited for his father to pull himself from his chair, complaining that he hated taking Kiyoomi to school. That it was too much work and that Kiyoomi was too high maintenance and never good enough, making Kiyoomi bite his lip under his mask. But eventually, his dad would grab the car keys and usher Kiyoomi into the car. 

The first five minutes of the car ride was dead silent. No radio playing, no talking. That’s usually how both Kiyoomi and his father liked it but Kiyoomi was supposed to tell his dad something. He just… didn’t want to. 

“Um, father? I need to ask you something?” Kiyoomi murmured, his mask already muffling his voice enough as it is. 

His father audibly sighed. “What is it, Kiyoomi?” 

“The Japanese Youth Training Camp is starting training next week during the break.”

“And?”

“They’ve asked me to join and I need your permission to go,” Kiyoomi asked. His father beamed. 

“Look at you! You did something good for once. That camp is really hard to get into right? Especially as a second year?” his father said. Kiyoomi just nodded. “Atta boy! Of course you can go. I’ll sign whatevers needed,” his father announced. 

“Thanks…” Kiyoomi whispered. It was always ‘you did something good for once, of course you can do it’ and never ‘wow! That’s quite the accomplishment, you should be proud. Does that interest you?’ 

His father was smiling the rest of the car ride and as Kiyoomi hopped out of the car, his father actually told him to have a good day at school, making Kiyoomi scowl even harder. 

He slipped his mask off his face, taking a sip of the still warm coffee and sighed, taking in the taste. It was heaven. His only escape from this hell. 

____________________________________________

People looked at Atsumu Miya and thought ‘wow, that kid is doing great’. And he was. He was the best high school setter in Japan and he would do anything to uphold his title as that. He pushed himself while others told him to take breaks, that he was doing enough, that they hated him because of it. Those things just pushed him more. Being a twin sort of did that to a person. 

He loved his brother (even though he didn’t always show it), but it was hard when he constantly felt upstaged. Especially when he felt Osamu never worked for his accomplishments and yet Atsumu was working his ass off every moment of every day. 

Their father had left when they were just kids and that was another factor that pushed Atsumu. He thought if maybe he could be the best, his father would come back. That his father could actually love him. 

“Atsumu! You failed another math exam,” his mother sighed at the breakfast table. 

It’s not that Atsumu was a bad student, it’s just lately school has been hard. It was always second to volleyball for him, but more recently it’s come like… fifth to everything else and honestly? Atsumu didn’t care. But, he’d do anything to make his mom happy, which is honestly why he did all of this, pouring blood, sweat, and tears into all he’d do, in hopes of a smile or a ‘congratulations’ from his mother. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll try harder, I promise,” Atsumu said. His mother smiled, her eyebags pretty visible. 

“Oh, Atsumu, you’re doing enough. I just need to make sure that your focuses are in the right place,” she informed, gently. Atsumu nodded. Osamu just watched the two of them while eating his breakfast. 

“Okay, sure,” Atsumu said. 

“We’ll be discussing the both of your plans after high school sometime soon,” his mother said. Both twins sighed at the same time. This is where they disagreed. Atsumu knew he was going to continue volleyball after high school and he wanted his brother to too, but Osamu didn’t want to do that which upset Atsumu. 

“Mama? I was going to wait to tell ya but um… I guess now is a better time than any. I got invited to the Japanese Youth Training Camp,” Atsumu said slowly. His mother sat for a moment taking in the information. 

“Wow, congrats, Atsumu. That’s so great. I’d love for you to go but um… how much money is it?” his mom asked. 

“None at all! All expenses paid,” Atsumu lied. 

“Congrats, ‘Tsumu. That’s quite the accomplishment,” Osamu said through his mouthful of food.

“Thanks, ‘Samu,” Atsumu laughed. 

“Well, then I don’t see an issue with it,” his mother said. 

The truth was that money was tight in this family. His mother worked two jobs and still barely made enough to pay for their small apartment and give them enough food to eat. Sometimes they’d have to go a few days without power. 

And Atsumu didn’t necessarily lie, it was an all expenses paid trip. He just needed money for transportation which he knew he could get somewhere. He just didn’t want his mom to worry. He had this under control. 

His mom signed the sheets of paper needed for the trip and Osamu was eyeing Atsumu during it. Atsumu swallowed. He could tell his brother knew something was up. 

“‘Tsumu, don’t forget your coffee or else you’re going to be really cranky,” Osamu informed. 

“I’m not cranky without my coffee,” Atsumu pouted. 

“Yeah, sure,” Osamu scoffed. 

Atsumu loved coffee. The boy was already energized as it was so he probably didn’t need it but the truth was, he loved the bitter taste of straight up black coffee. It almost made him feel something. He knew that sounded weird, but that bitter taste was like all the emotions and stress and fatigue he wasn’t allowed to feel, bundled up into a cup that he could drink up and taste. It was his way of expressing his resentment and his bitterness. 

“I’ll be in the car boys. We need to go in three,” their mother said and walked out. Atsumu was getting his coffee and he gagged slightly at the first sip. 

“Why do you even like that?” Osamu asked, cleaning up his breakfast plates. Atsumu shrugged. “I know you were lying to mom earlier,” Osamu told Atsumu. 

“About?”

“The money. I have twenty dollars you can have. I know that’s not much and I don’t know how much you’ll need, but it’s something and I want to help ya out. Ya worked hard,” Osamu told his brother. Atsumu gaped for a minute. 

“Wow, thanks ‘Samu. I didn’t know you had it in ya,” Atsumu laughed. Osamu rolled his eyes. 

“Get in the car,” Osamu commanded. 

“‘Samu? You gonna ask Suna on a date sometime soon?” Atsumu asked, wiggling his eyebrows. Osamu choked. 

“Wa- no! W-why would I even do that!?” Osamu defended and Atsumu held his hands up in defeat. 

“Dunno, just thought ya liked him. That’s all,” Atsumu said plainly. Osamu shoved his brother and took the front seat, earning a whine from Atsumu. 

“You deserve it,” Osamu accused. 

“Why?” their mother asked, starting up the car to drive the boys. 

“Oh nothing,” Osamu said at the same time as Atsumu said, “I was teasing him about the boy he likes.”

“ATSUMU!” both Osamu and their mother yelled. Atsumu shook his head. 

“What!?”

Their mother was super cool about their sexualities, Osamu gay and Atsumu bi, ever since they’d come out. She was really supportive too, not caring if they hit and crushed on guys and stuff around her. It was different for her, sure, but she wanted them to feel as comfortable as possible and have as strong of a relationship with them as she could. 

“Is he cute though?” she asked, teasingly. Osamu blushed deeply. 

“The cutest,” Atsumu answered, earning a scowl from Osamu. 

“I don’t like him!” Osamu said. 

“Mama, it’s Rintarō,” Atsumu blurted. Osamu whipped around and swatted at his brother and their mom laughed. 

“Should’ve guessed it was Rin. He’s a hottie though,” their mom admitted, pulling into the school parking lot. 

“I know right. WAIT- NO. NO!” Osamu shouted. Atsumu erupted into the biggest laughing fit he’d ever had and their mom giggled a little. “I didn’t say ANYTHING!” 

“Sure,” their mom said, playing along. 

“‘Samu has a crush, ‘Samu has a crush!” Atsumu sang out, earning another hit from his brother. 

“Hey! And what did you mean you ‘should’ve guessed’?” Osamu accused.

Their mom shrugged. “You just spend a lot of time with Rin and cook for him and stuff. Doesn’t necessarily mean anything it’s just that I wasn’t going to be surprised if one day you told me you two had been dating for the past year and a half.”

Atsumu started cackling again. 

“Leave your brother alone, Atsumu. Go to school!” she commanded. 

“At least I can get a boy!” Osamu threatened and Atsumu rolled his eyes and got out of the car. “... do you think I have a chance with him?” he asked his mom slowly. 

“Oh, if he doesn’t think you two haven’t been dating the past year and a half, then he might need to see a doctor,” she laughed. “But, yes, I do. And, I think you’d make a very cute couple. Good luck, honey,” she said. 

“Thanks, ma,” Osamu said, hopping out of the car to be greeted by none other than Rintarō himself. 

“Speak of the devil. Hey, Rin. Have a good day at school,” she said, winking to Rin who looked between Osamu and his mom and gave an awkward wave. 

She drove away and Rintarō pulled out his vape, taking a drag on it and exhaling it out in a puff as he and Osamu walked up the steps of the school. 

“What was that about?” he asked, laughing. He offered the vape to Osamu who took it from him and gave it a puff, coughing slightly. Osamu didn’t do it much but on the rare occasion he would, especially if Suna was offering his own vape to Osamu. 

“She’s just being a tease,” Osamu murmured, making Suna smirk. 

“Sounds like someone else I know,” Suna teased, puffing out the smoke. Osamu raised an eyebrow. 

“Who? You or me?” Osamu asked. Suna snorted. 

“Fair.”

“Get to class, boys! Suna, put the vape away! ” a teacher yelled at the boys who nodded but burst out laughing as they rounded the corner. 

“Hey… so ‘Tsumu got invited to the Japan training camp thing and I was wondering… you’re like both our best friend and… he didn’t tell my mom he needed some money and I was wondering if you had any money you could give him to help him out? It can be five or ten dollars, it doesn’t matter. And don’t feel obligated to at all!” Osamu rambled. Suna smirked. 

“You’re cute when you ramble.”

Osamu choked slightly. 

“And yeah, here,” Suna said. He reached into his bag and pulled out two twenty dollar bills. 

“Woah, Rin, thanks so much. That was more than I’d expected. You sure?”

“Yeah, for sure. I don’t even need it anyway,” he brushed. 

“Where’d you get them?”

“My parents. They pay me to not vape and then I use the money to buy more vapes,” he shrugged. 

“They pay you to not vape?” Osamu laughed. Suna laughed slightly. 

“Wanna get a piercing with me after school?” Suna asked, changing the subject. Osamu furrowed his brows. 

“What kind?”

“I have a lot I want but I was thinking of starting off with a simple ear piercing. Maybe a cartilage while I’m at it. I eventually wanna get snake bites,” Suna said, flicking his eyebrows teasingly. Osamu nodded along. 

“I can come but I don’t really want to get any myself,” Osamu admitted. 

“Aw, okay. That’s chill though. I just think you’d look sexy with a tongue piercing,” Suna informed, standing up and striding to his class (which they were both very late for), leaving Osamu staring blankly where Suna had just walked away. 

“Dammit,” Osamu murmured. 

____________________________________________

“You look tired, Kiyoomi… the bags under your eyes are impressive. Have you even gotten any sleep lately?” Komori asked his cousin as they settled into their first class period. Sakusa swallowed and closed his eyes for a split second. “KIYOOMI!” Komori snapped, causing Kiyoomi to quickly open his eyes, disoriented. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. And barely… I’m so tired,” he murmured, taking a swig from his coffee mug as the teacher started the lecture. 

“How are your grades?” Komori whispered. Kiyoomi shrugged. 

“Good enough for my parents to keep off me but never as good as they should be,” Sakusa said plainly. 

“Keep it down,” the teacher snapped at the duo. 

“You look a little sweaty, Sakusa, you sure you’re doing okay?” 

“I’m fine, Komori,” the other boy snapped. Komori gave him a once over then let it go. If Sakusa wanted to talk, he would. Komori wasn’t going to press it. 

____________________________________________

The rest of the week before the training camp was just pushing Kiyoomi harder, cramming in as much practice as he could and getting all his assignments in and it was utterly exhausting for the boy. 

After a last minute hour volleyball practice on Sunday, he trudged home. His dad had asked if he needed to be picked up or if he needed anything else before the camp, but Kiyoomi said no to both of them. 

A boy bumped into Kiyoomi and Kiyoomi scowled at him. 

The boy had been on his phone with his earbuds in, running. That was so stupid to Kiyoomi. He swooped his blonde hair out of his face and apologized loudly, making Sakusa roll his eyes. He brushed past the stranger and his perfect smile, wanting a shower when he got home. 

Kiyoomi could tell the boy didn’t live around here and was probably using his phone for directions but he was curious as to why he would be running all the way down here if he didn’t live nearby. Maybe he needed something? Kiyoomi shrugged, he didn’t care. He would never see the boy again, it didn’t matter to him. 

____________________________________________

Atsumu got home from his run, sweaty and panting and embarrassed. 

“What happened to you?” Osamu asked. 

“I wanted to run in a different city and I physically bumped into someone while running,” Atsumu complained. “It was so embarrassing!” he mumbled, exasperated. 

Osamu snickered. “Payback.”

“Yeah, yeah. Speaking of, did ya ask Suna out yet?” Atsumu asked, chugging a glass of water. Osamu rolled his eyes. 

“This topic again? And no, I didn’t.”

“Then where were ya after school?” Atsumu asked, taking another sip of water. Osamu waited for a minute. Atsumu spit out the water in his mouth. “IS THAT A DAMN STUD IN YOUR EAR, ‘SAMU?” Atsumu yelled and Osamu scrunched his nose. 

“Yeah, so?” 

At that moment Rintarō walked into the room, smirking. 

“I hear you saw Osamu’s new piercings. How you like them? And how you like mine?” Suna smirked and Atsumu gaped. Suna had also gotten a stud in his ear but he’d also gotten a cartilage piercing. 

“A-are they real?” Atsumu asked and Suna chuckled. 

“Duh.”

“Oh my god, ma’s gonna kill ya!” 

Osamu shrugged. “I asked and she said it was fine so I dunno about that.”

“Oh… then yeah, they’re cool,” Atsumu said, calming down a bit. Rintarō laughed.

“You excited for training camp to start tomorrow?” 

“Oh, yeah, definitely. Thanks for the money again, Rin,” Atsumu said. 

“Any time,” Rintarō nodded. 

“Gonna finish some last minute packing. See ya,” Atsumu said and went into his room. 

____________________________________________

“Good morning, Kiyoomi. It’s time for you to get ready and go to the training camp,” Sakusa’s mom said. Sakusa rubbed at his eyes. He was so tired and as he stood up, the blood rushed to his head painfully fast, causing him to gasp. 

“Everything okay?” his mother asked. Sakusa bit his lip and nodded, pushing the pain down. “Load your stuff into the car then. We’re leaving in twenty.”

Kiyoomi went to the bathroom and ran a hand through his dark curls. His face was paler than usual and he looked a tad bit sweaty. The bags under his eyes were more noticeable then he’d like and he felt tired, lacking any energy to do the camp at all.

But, being the person he was forced to be, he put his bags in the car and grabbed his cup of coffee, the only comfort he had at the moment. 

“Ready, Kiyoomi?” his father asked. 

“Sure,” he mumbled. 

The car ride was painfully quiet, as expected, and Kiyoomi was practically smiling with excitement when his father had announced that they’d arrived at the camp. 

“Do well this week,” his father informed. It was never ‘good luck, you’ll do great’ and Sakusa was used to that. 

“I will.” 

Upon entering the gym, Sakusa was met with a variety of people of different heights, skill levels, schools, locations, and positions all warming up and stretching. No one stood out in particular but the minute he entered, whispers filled the room. He was used to it. That’s what you got when you were the best ace in Japan. 

“Kiyoomi Sakusa,” he said, signing into the camp. The coach approached him. 

“We’re so glad you were able to join us, Sakusa. Start stretching, we’ll get into some practice when everyone has arrived,” the coach informed. Sakusa nodded and started stretching his wrists out. 

A boy came up to him. 

“Woah! How do yer wrists do that??” he asked. Sakusa furrowed his brows. 

“Uhh, they just do? You… look familiar,” Sakusa mumbled. The boy raised his eyebrows. 

“Dunno why I would be,” he murmured, sitting down next to Sakusa to stretch with him. 

“I don’t like to stretch with people,” Sakusa informed, causing the boy to laugh. His laugh was sweet and Sakusa liked it. Eww… Sakusa liked it. 

“Okay, but I do. What’s yer name?” the boy asked, swooping his blond hair from his eyes causing Sakusa to scowl. He was the boy who bumped into Sakusa while running. What were the chances of that? He probably didn’t recognize Kiyoomi without his mask on even though he didn’t look that different. 

“Do I have the option to not answer?” 

“I’ll find out one way or another?” The boy shrugged. 

“Sakusa Kiyoomi.”

“Ooh, Imma call you Omi! That sound alright?” the boy asked. 

“No, it does not.”

“Okay, Omi. Well, not that you asked but I’m Atsumu Miya,” he announced. 

“Great.”

“What position are you?”

“Outside hitter,” he sighed. “And you?”

“Sweet! Imma setter!” Atsumu said. Sakusa stood up. “Woah, how tall are you, Omi-kun?”

“6’3”.”

“Wow! I’m only six foot. You’re tall!” 

“I know.”

“You’re not very talkative, are ya?”

“No. Talking isn’t something I find necessary,” he informed. 

“Ya sure, Omi? I enjoy talking quite a bit.”

“I can tell,” he sighed. Atsumu laughed. 

“You’re funny, Omi-kun!”

“I… I am?” Sakusa had never been called funny before. 

“Yeah! What am I, Omi?”

“Annoying, that’s what you are,” Sakusa said. But he was also funny and pretty. But Sakusa wouldn’t admit that to himself so much as to him. Sakusa had a feeling Miya had no trouble with inflating his ego. Taking him down a few pegs couldn’t hurt. 

“We’ll see about that when I’m setting for you, Omi-Omi.” 

“Sure,” Sakusa scoffed. 

“You’re pretty good though, right?” Atsumu asked. “Like top three good?”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“Okay, what’s your top three rank?” 

“Umm… one.”

“Wow, Omi-kun! That’s so good!” Atsumu complimented. Sakusa was flustered. The boy was loud and annoying and egotistical but no one had been this proud nor complimentary of Kiyoomi before, so much as someone who he’d just met. 

“Um, thank you, Miya.”

“Call me Atsumu. I have a twin and you calling me that sounds weird,” Atsumu informed. Sakusa rolled his eyes. 

“If you can call me ‘Omi’, I can call you ‘Miya’.”

“Fair.”

“Is everyone ready for some practice?”

The training involved a lot of running and drills, leaving everyone winded by the end of it. But, Sakusa seemed to have it the worst. He was so out of breath he couldn’t speak and Atsumu looked at the coach cautiously who was looking at Sakusa with narrow eyes. 

“Everyone get some water, we’re going to play some two-on-two’s today so you can get intimate and know everyone’s skill levels so you can use them in practice games,” the coach informed. “Partner up then!” 

“Omi!-”

“No.”

“C’mon, pleaseeeeee!” Atsumu whined. Sakusa looked at the boy and his pretty, hazely-brown eyes. Sakusa rolled his eyes. 

“Fine, just this once.”

“Yay, Omi-kun! Thank you,” Atsumu squealed, making Kiyoomi huff. 

The coach gave out instructions but Atsumu was completely zoned out staring at Kiyoomi. He hadn’t really looked at the other boy until now and he just hoped he wasn’t drooling. 

Kiyoomi was taller than Atsumu with incredibly broad shoulders and a muscular figure that his shirt clung to. His dark hair was perfectly naturally curled and Atsumu wanted to run his hands through it. His incredibly defined and chiseled jawline made Atsumu’s heart flutter and Sakusa’s dark, black, cold eyes trapped Atsumu in them, but he never wanted to look away. And Atsumu’s favorite, Kiyoomi’s moles above his eyebrows. 

Atsumu had had “bi-panics” before, but looking at the boy before him, Atsumu was so obsessed. He was cold and pessimistic and hated Atsumu, but maybe that’s what made him so appealing to the boy. Atsumu wanted to make Sakusa love him and that’s exactly what he was going to do. 

“Stop staring at me like that, Miya. It’s weird,” Sakusa said after the coach had finished giving instructions. Atsumu shook his head. 

“Sorry, um… I missed the coach’s instructions,” Atsumu admitted. 

“Of course,” Sakusa scoffed, re-explaining them to Atsumu. 

“Thanks, Omi.”

“Just pay better attention next time, Miya.”

“Anything for ya, Omi-kun!” 

They were playing first and luckily some of the earlier drills had allowed Atsumu to see Sakusa’s playing style in a basic way. He would still need to adjust the more he knew his playing style, but Atsumu would be able to set a few times and make alterations to however Kiyoomi would feel fit. 

“A little higher, Miya?” Sakusa asked as he scored another point for them. 

“No problem, Omi,” Atsumu said and did exactly as the other asked. 

“That one was perfect, Miya. Keep it up,” Sakusa complimented. 

As much as Atsumu loved a good Kiyoomi insult, he loved being complimented by the other just as much. It made him blush and get butterflies. Did… did he finally after one and a half years of being out have a boy crush? He swallowed. He’d ask ‘Samu later for advice, though that probably wasn’t the smartest idea. 

“Miya! Keep your head in the game!” the coach hollered as he botched a set. 

“Sorry! I got distracted for a minute. Won’t happen again,” Atsumu informed, the coach nodding. 

That day Sakusa and Atsumu only played three two-on-two matches, but they managed to win all three of them. They balanced each other out well impeccably and even Kiyoomi couldn’t deny the chemistry they had on the court. The coach asked to see each other after the day had ended and both were confused because they thought they were doing excellent. But, they listened to their coach’s command. 

“You both play exceptionally well together. Have you two noticed that?” the coach asked. Both boys glanced at each other and nodded slowly. 

“Have you two thought about what you’re going to do after high school?” 

“Probably play professionally,” both said at the same time. The coach smiled at that. 

“That’s what I like to hear. You two could think about playing on the same professional team. You could be a powerhouse,” the coach said. Both boys looked slightly awkward. 

“Thank ya, that’s a compliment. I’d love to but I’m not sure Omi over here would be up to it. Maybe I could convince him though,” Atsumu spoke. The coach laughed. 

“Okay, it’s just something to think about. You two have quite the chemistry.”

At that, Sakusa gagged slightly under his mask but Atsumu smiled. 

“Go get some rest, you’ll need it boys,” the coach commanded. 

“What are our room numbers again?” Atsumu asked. 

“Oh, right. Well you’re both rooming together-”

“What?” both boys said at the same time. 

“Yeah, everyone has room partners and your room is number 18,” the coach explained. Both boys heaved a heavy sigh and trudged to their room. 

“I’m showering first,” Sakusa demanded as they entered their room. 

“Sure, I don’t care,” Atsumu mumbled, making himself comfortable. 

“Also, keep your stuff on your side, no touching my stuff, give me personal space-”

“I got it, Omi. I’ll stay in my little bubble for ya,” Atsumu cut in. Sakusa nodded and went to disinfect the shower before actually using it. 

Atsumu hopped onto his bed on his side of the room and pulled off his sweaty volleyball clothing and put on boxers and left his shirt off. He pulled out his phone and quicker than any set he’d done, he dialed Osamu. It rang twice before he picked up. 

“Hey, is everything good at the training camp, ‘Tsumu?” Osamu asked, concern on his face. Atsumu nodded quickly. 

“Better than good. Anyways…” 

“Woah, yer talking real fast there,” Osamu informed. 

“Sorry, sorry!” Atsumu rushed. Osamu rolled his eyes at his brother’s failed attempt to slow down his speech. 

“Then what’s up?”

“I… think I have a crush-”

“Woah, really? Who are they?” 

“He’s my-”

“Oh wow, it’s a guy?” 

“Um, yeah??” Atsumu asked, confused. 

“Sorry, it’s just you’ve never had a real guy crush. This is a real guy crush, right?” Osamu asked. Atsumu nodded harshly. 

“Uh huh. Anyways, he’s my roommate and we’ve been partnered up because he’s the number one ace in Japan and an outside hitter and he’s really pretty and he hates me,” Atsumu explained, rambling. 

“Hold on, that was a lot to take it… but I’m hung up on the fact that he hates you. Why would you like a guy that hates you? Actually, I know why. You like a challenge and annoying people. And the fact that you two are roomates, partners, and he’s the best ace in Japan all sound like some stupid plot points of a volleyball romance,” Osamu announced. Atsumu was blushing. 

“Yeah, you’re right. They do, don’t they? Oh, and he’s a major germaphobe and won’t let anyone touch him.”

“Yeah, of course your first real guy you like hates you and won’t let anyone touch him. You need better taste,” Osamu mumbled. 

“He’s really pretty though!” Atsumu defended. 

“Yeah, looks aren’t everything. You should know. You’re unattractive and annoying and egotistical,” Osamu informed. 

“First off, we literally have the same face-”

“-I just wear it better.”

“-Second of all, you’re right it’s not but we get along. The coach even says we have chemistry while playing.”

“I guess that’s something?” Osamu shrugged. “Why’d you call me again?”

“To ask your advice!”

“Oh, well I guess find out if he’s actually even into men to begin with then get his number in a friend way then get to know him and etcetera,” Osamu explained. 

“Not helpful, but thanks,” Atsumu mumbled. 

“Sure, anytime. Have fun rooming together tonight.” Osamu smirked. 

“He literally won’t even let me on his side of the room.”

“And you still like him? Oh wow, can’t wait to meet this mystery boy.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Atsumu brushed. 

“Bye, ‘Tsumu. Have fun tomorrow too and good luck with germaphobe ace,” Osamu teased. 

“Whatever. Bye ‘Samu.” Then both boys hung up the phone. After about five more minutes, Sakusa eventually walked out of the bathroom.

He was drying his dark, damp, curls with a towel and he wore his boxer shorts. Just his boxer shorts and Atsumu literally choked, his mouth wide open. He knew the other boy had a toned figure but his abs and his biceps and his thighs and his-

“Miya, you’re doing that weird staring thing again. Please stop. And you have a little drool on your face,” Sakusa said plainly, continuing to dry his hair off. 

His skin was still slick from the shower water and he was practically glistening and glowing in the low light of the dorm room. Atsumu in fact reached up to his face and noticed a small line of saliva from his mouth and he looked away, blushing from embarrassment. 

“Who were you on the phone with?”

“‘Samu,” Atsumu said. Kiyoomi gave the other a quizzical look. “Oh, my twin, sorry.”

“Oh. I hope the conversation was enjoyable.”

“Meh.”

“The shower’s all yours,” Kiyoomi said. Atsumu nodded. 

“Thanks, Omi.”

Atsumu showered and left the bathroom with just a towel hanging loosely at his hips. If Sakusa was going to do that to him, two could play at that game. Atsumu smirked as he left the bathroom. 

Sakusa was sitting in his bed, reading a book, still no shirt on, his hair still damp. His shoulders were going up and down in a steady motion and his brows were furrowed ever so delicately, making his moles rise slightly into his hairline. How he could look so effortlessly beautiful, Atsumu had no idea and it pissed him off. 

“Hey, Omi? Whatcha reading?” he asked the other. Sakusa just held up the book slightly and it was unrecognizable to Atsumu. Kiyoomi was paying no attention to him and that made Atsumu want to try harder. 

Atsumu paced the room a few times, sorting out his stuff after two other failed attempts to get Sakusa’s attention. He’d try again tomorrow. 

“I’m going to bed, Miya,” Sakusa informed, shutting off the light. 

“M’kay, Omi. ‘Night,” Atsumu told the other. 

“Yeah… good night,” Sakusa said. 

As Kiyoomi rolled over his face flushed. Why had Miya worn just a towel earlier? Kiyoomi thought. He looked so nice with his muscular abs. Sakusa shook the thoughts from his head. Gross. Miya was a snob, someone he felt purely annoyance towards. This would stop here and now, he told himself. And it would. Maybe. 

____________________________________________

It was day three of the training camp and Atsumu had only managed to get Kiyoomi’s number saying it was “because he liked the way he hit and maybe would wanna practice sometime outside of the camp”. 

They were playing a full practice game with six members and Atsumu and Kiyoomi were of course on the same team again. They were barely seven minutes into the game but Sakusa looked as though he could barely stand. 

Atsumu was confused because he noticed that his stamina levels were probably off at the beginning of the camp but they looked as though they were going down the longer they were at the camp. 

Atsumu hadn’t seen Sakusa play before but he could tell something off, especially when he set the ball a little close to the net (how Sakusa had asked for that day) and Kiyoomi ran to hit it and tripped over his own feet. 

“Oh my god, Omi, are ya alright?” Atsumu asked, rushing up to the other who was sprawled on the ground. 

“Ugh, I’m-I’m fine, Miya,” Sakusa grumbled, trying to pull himself off the ground. “Ahh,” he cringed and clutched his head. 

“What happened?” Atsumu asked, offering a hand which Kiyoomi swatted away. 

“I just feel light headed, I’m fine,” he murmured, trying to pick himself up again and failing once more. 

“Miya, help the boy up and bring him over to the bench,” the coach instructed. Kiyoomi didn’t argue like he normally would. He knew he needed a rest. 

Atsumu looped his arm under Sakusa and pulled him (with a bit of difficulty since Kiyoomi was more built than Atsumu) upwards and stumbled over to the bench with him. Atsumu grabbed a water bottle and handed it to Sakusa, who drank a long sip from it. Atsumu was still sitting next to Kiyoomi after he’d drank and he glanced awkwardly at the other. 

“You can go and play again, Miya,” Sakusa said, holding his forehead. 

“I wanna make sure yer okay, Omi. And before you say yer fine yer clearly not,” Atsumu said plainly and Sakusa cringed at that. 

“I’ve just been extremely fatigued lately so this is probably catching up to me. I’ll take a few minutes and I’ll be back in the game in no time,” Sakusa lied. Something was wrong, more than he was letting onto and Atsumu looked as though he knew. 

“Okay…” Atsumu said, skeptically, but he waved it off and re-joined the game. 

The coach examined Sakusa himself and couldn’t see anything physically wrong, except that he looked as though he hadn't slept in a week and he was a bit paler and sweatier than one should be. He didn’t end up letting Sakusa play any other games that day, saying he should spend the rest of the day in his room getting rest. 

When Kiyoomi went up to his room he paused at his phone, wondering if he should call his parents and let them know something’s wrong. He shook his head. They didn’t care. The rest of the time he laid in bed, reading. He had a hard time falling asleep if it wasn’t nighttime, but he didn’t mind it. 

The training camp was long over by probably three hours and Atsumu still hadn’t come back to their room. It was already nine and Sakusa began to get a bit worried. Since when did Sakusa care about the silly blond haired boy with a big ego who teased him and bumped into him while running? Since he himself had helped Sakusa when he’d fallen, face first, in front of all these skilled volleyball players and offered to stay with him until he felt better. 

Sakusa scowled. No, he didn’t care about him. Sakusa needed coffee. So, he pulled himself off the bed, slipped on sneakers and a sweatshirt, and decided to trudge down to the kitchen and find himself some coffee and he got some, making it the way he liked. 

There was a small cafe type sitting area in the dining area so he went out there to enjoy his coffee. But, someone was already sitting there and it happened to be the exact same person that Kiyoomi had been looking for. 

His jawline looked especially defined at the angle it was tilted like he was in deep thought. His blond hair danced with highlights in the moonlight making it look a silvery-gray-blue and was flopped down into his brown eyes that glowed with golden flecks as though they were reflecting the stars in them. His skin looked pale yet was glowing in the moonlight. 

He heard footsteps approaching and he turned his head, noticing it was Sakusa and he smiled at the other as he sat down next to Atsumu. 

“No need to fake smile for me, Miya,” Sakusa said, taking a sip from his coffee mug. 

“I never fake smile around you, Omi-Omi,” Atsumu said, now taking a sip from his own mug. Sakusa snorted but didn’t say anything to the other. “What are you drinking?”

“Coffee.”

“How do you like yours?” Atsumu asked. 

“Not gonna tell me it’s too late to be drinking coffee?” Sakusa asked, cocking an eyebrow. Atsumu laughed. 

“Well, that sounds like something you’d tell me rather than vice versa. Plus, I’m drinking coffee too,” he said, shrugging. Sakusa glanced in the mug. 

“Is that black?”

“Yeah?”

“Isn’t that… bitter?”

“Just as bitter as you,” Atsumu teased, earning another scowl from Kiyoomi which made him laugh again. He took Sakusa’s mug from him and took a small sip and gagged. “That’s so sweet, Kiyoomi. What’s even in it?” 

“Um, cream, vanilla, and nutmeg,” Sakusa informed, drinking from his own mug. 

Atsumu at this point didn’t even care about the fact that Kiyoomi had coffee way too sweet. He was hung up on the fact that Sakusa let Atsumu have a sip from his mug. That Sakusa actually drank from the same mug that Atsumu drank from. That he didn’t even care. The germaphobe. He didn’t care about any of it and it made butterflies erupt in Atsumu’s stomach. 

The two of them drank the rest of their coffees in peace and when they finished, neither made a move to get up and go back to their room. Sakusa closed his eyes and peacefully soaked in the moonlight beaming through the window and of course Atsumu soaked in the perfection that was Kiyoomi Sakusa sitting beside him. 

Sakusa peeled open his eyes after a few minutes. “You’re staring at me again like that, Miya. It’s weird,” Sakusa teased. Atsumu gaped for a minute. 

“Did ya… did ya make a joke?” Atsumu sputtered causing Sakusa to frown. 

“I… did. I think I’m hanging out with you too much.”

“Don’t say that like it’s a bad thing!” Atsumu accused and Sakusa smiled. “Did ya just smile?” Atsumu gasped, making Sakusa quickly turn down the corners of his mouth. “I’ve never seen you do that! No, do it again… it was really pretty,” Atsumu whispered. 

Sakusa looked down. “I’ve just never had excuses to smile before,” Sakusa said, honestly. 

Atsumu tilted Sakusa’s head up to look directly at him. Atsumu narrowed his eyes and scanned all over Sakusa’s face, taking everything in. Sakusa swallowed harshly, awkward with what was happening but not knowing what to do. 

“I’m assuming yer always told yer never good enough? Well, I regret to inform ya, but that’s a bunch of bull shit. Look at ya, ya could be a model with yer toned body, dark hair, mysterious eyes, height, moles. And yer so good at volleyball. Like, the best. And I dunno yer grades but knowing you, they’re probably good. I mean, ya read for fun,” Atsumu chuckled. “But, I dunno the expectation ya have to live up to with yer family and everything but I see the way ya work and yer doing so well and Imma do all I can to make ya believe that because if anyone deserves to know that, well more than me, it’s you.”

Sakusa sat there, his chin being lifted up by Atsumu’s fingers, their figures soaked in the moonlight’s rays, being complimented by the boy he hates the most. Well… hated . 

“D… do you mean all of that?”

“More than anything I’ve ever said before,” Atsumu said and Sakusa could see the desperation in the other’s eyes. 

“Well then, thank you, Atsumu,” Sakusa said. “I’ll be going to bed now,” Sakusa informed, standing up and grabbing both of their mugs. 

Atsumu stared at the other, gaping. He’d just ranted to the other, spilling some of his deepest emotions and yet all Sakusa had to do was call Atsumu by his first name to have Atsumu drooling. 

“Let’s do it again!” Atsumu called after the other. Sakusa turned around, one of the sides of his mouth upturned. 

“Maybe.” And he left. 

Atsumu had a new goal. He was going to get Sakusa to smile as much as he could. 

____________________________________________

The end of the training camp came to a close all too soon which upset everyone greatly, even Sakusa who had had surprisingly a good time. 

“Imma miss ya, Omi-kun,” Atsumu informed as both boys walked into the parking lot. 

“Yeah…” Sakusa mumbled. 

“Yer gonna miss me too, ya just don’t know it yet,” Atsumu said. Sakusa sighed. He hated that the other was right. 

Sakusa’s dad pulled into the parking lot and Kiyoomi sighed. He was not looking forward to going back to that life. He started walking to his car then turned to face Atsumu. “I’ll see you around.”

“You will?” Atsumu asked, shocked. 

“You’ve seen our court chemistry,” Sakusa teased, smiling ever-so slightly. Atsumu gaped. This man continued to shock him more and more. 

“Then I guess ya will. Text me, Omi!” Atsumu called as Sakusa made to get in the car. 

“We’ll see about that,” Sakusa responded leaving Atsumu beaming. 

____________________________________________

It had been exactly two weeks since the training camp and Atsumu was in a total slump and everyone around him noticed it. Him and Sakusa had texted exactly four times in the two weeks but Atsumu wanted to see the other desperately. 

“What’s up with you?” his mother asked that Sunday as Atsumu just laid in bed. 

“Dunno,” Atsumu mumbled into his pillow. His mom sat for a few minutes, waiting to see if her son would continue the conversation or not. “Ma? Do you think I’m a good person?” 

“Of course, you’re my son.”

“Okay, not from a motherly standpoint. Would someone date me?”

“Oh, I see what this is about. You meet someone at the camp?”

“No! What makes ya think that!” he asked defensively, pulling his face from the pillow. 

“You’ve had a dorky smile on your face approximately four times the past two weeks and all of those times you were on your phone texting someone,” his mother informed. 

“Fine…”

“What are they like?”

“Perfect…”

“You’re going to need to elaborate a little on that,” his mother jokes. 

“His eyes are so dark and mysterious you could get lost in them and his hair is dark and curly. He’s pretty tall with the most muscular build ever. And he’s so good at volleyball. Not only that, but when I set to him, I feel like he’s who I was made to be setting for and even the coach agreed! And he’s really funny, but not intentionally. He’s super bitter and sarcastic and pessimistic which makes me laugh. But when he actually smiles, it’s so perfect. And he’s a germaphobe but I think it’s real cute. And my favorite are the two moles right above his eyebrows. Sorry, I rambled,” Atsumu laughed awkwardly but his mother was smiling at her son. 

“Wow, he sounds like a really great guy. But, I hate to inform you, you’ve got it bad.”

“What?”

His mother stood to leave. “You’re in love, Atsumu, with a boy you’ve known for a week.”

____________________________________________

“Sakusa? Is everything okay?” his mother asked, greatly concerned for her son. Sakusa could barely stand, his legs wobbling beneath him and he collapsed onto the bed once again. 

“I think we should take you to the hospital,” his dad mumbled, going down to grab his keys. Kiyoomi didn’t have the energy to disagree so he just nodded and let his mom support him down the steps and to the car. 

Sakusa rested his head on the window during the drive. He was exhausted. 

They arrived at the hospital and the doctors said that they would be testing his blood. So, he was taken back and a bunch of needles got stuck into him. 

“When will we have the results?” Kiyoomi’s father asked. The doctor checked her clipboard. 

“I’d say two days?” 

“Anyway we can get them faster? My son can barely walk,” Sakusa’s mother asked. 

“I can rush them and you can have them by tomorrow,” the doctor offered. Both of Kiyoomi’s parents looked at one another and nodded. 

“Sure, thank you,” his dad said. The doctor nodded and then headed out of the room. 

“We’ll have you rest for today and tomorrow until you get your results back,” his mother said and Sakusa nodded, wobbling out of the hospital. 

____________________________________________

The next day they were called back into the hospital and Sakusa had a bad feeling about that. They were brought into a room with a different doctor then the other day and the room had a bunch of leg and muscle diagrams. 

“Hi, how are you?” the doctor asked politely. 

“Can we get the results please?” Sakusa’s dad snapped. The doctor nodded. 

“Do you go to the doctor’s often?” she asked. Kiyoomi shook his head. He was a germaphobe so he almost never got sick and he explained that to the doctor. 

“Okay, that makes sense and you probably haven’t got your blood tested for stuff like this before,” she commented and Kiyoomi shook his head. “How long have you been feeling significantly weaker in your muscles and more fatigued?”

“Pretty recently,” his father commented and Sakusa furrowed his eyebrows. 

“No, I’d say for maybe four or five months now. But just in the past few weeks it’s been harder to stand and function,” Sakusa informed and his parents looked panicked. The doctor nodded. 

“Your parents don’t pay much attention to how you’re feeling I’m guessing,” she pointed out and Sakusa nodded. “Well, you’ve been diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, an incurable genetic disease that increasingly weakens your muscles until eventually your body is too weak to function and shuts down,” the doctor explained gently. 

Everyone stared at the doctor for a minute, trying to process what had just been said. 

“W-what does this mean?” Sakusa stammered. The doctor thought for a minute. 

“Are you active?”

“Very, he’s the best high school volleyball ace in Japan,” his father bragged. 

“Wow, that’s quite the accomplishment, congratulations. But, your diagnosis seems to be moving a lot faster than most people. It varies from person to person but I’d recommend stopping sports and going to school because it’s already pretty hard for you to stand, and then we’ll admit you into the hospital,” the doctor explained. 

His parents nodded but looked upset and Kiyoomi couldn’t tell if it was because he couldn’t play volleyball anymore or if it was because he was diagnosed with an incurable, fatal disease. 

“How long is my life expectancy?” Kiyoomi eventually asked. The doctor thought for a minute. 

“Just depends, as I said you’re moving a lot faster than most people do nowadays but it’s not terrible. I’d say varying anywhere from eight months to twelve,” she said. “It could be longer. Some people can live up until their thirties but some people, I’m thinking you’re one of them, don’t live past their teens,” she explained. Kiyoomi nodded. 

“Thank you.”

“Sure, I’ll have them prepare a room for you. Feel free to collect your things and you can be admitted into it anytime you feel fit today,” she said.

____________________________________________

Two days after Sakusa has been Diagnosed:

“Give it back, Suna!” Atsumu yelled as Suna ran around with his phone and tossed it to Osamu. 

“Ooh, who’s ‘Omi-Omi’?” Osamu asked, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“I literally told you about him the first day of the training camp,” Atsumu said plainly. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Suna leaned over and pecked Osamu lips gently earning a gagging noise from Atsumu. 

“Just because you guys are dating and in a cute relationship, doesn’t mean ya need to rub it in my face,” Atsumu mumbled. 

“Sorry that I had the guts to tell the guy I liked that I had a crush on him,” Osamu said. 

“That’s cute but everyone knows I kissed you ,” Suna revealed earning a laugh from Atsumu and a scowl from Osamu. “You literally didn’t even know I was into men.”

“Whatever,” Osamu scoffed. 

Atsumu was looking at his phone. He’d texted Kiyoomi a handful of times over the past few days and he was confused as to why he wasn’t receiving a response. He knew the other was busy but was he this busy?

“Ya doing okay, ‘Tsumu?”

“Fine, thanks,” Atsumu mumbled and went to his room. 

____________________________________________

Three days after Sakusa had been diagnosed:

It was one in the morning Sakusa laid in his hospital bed bored and antsy. He wanted someone to talk to him or he wanted to move around and do something. He hadn’t checked his phone over the past three days and when he pulled it out he saw a flood of texts from a worried Komori and from… from Atsumu. 

He missed his voice. Almost unwillingly, he dialed Atsumu’s number and called him. The minute the second ring hit, Sakusa regretted it. But on the third ring, Atsumu actually picked up the phone. 

Gentle, low breathing filled the phone microphone and Sakusa knew Atsumu had been asleep, but the sound was so calming to him for some reason. Maybe it was because in one of the best week’s of his life, every morning he’d wake up to that sound and lay in bed for just a minute longer to listen to it, instead of getting ready. 

“Omi-Omi? It’s one in the morning, is everything okay?” Atsumu asked, concern and sleep all over his voice. Sakusa contemplated lying but he was a painfully honest and direct person. 

“No. I’m in the hospital,” Sakusa said. The other end of the phone was dead silent and Sakusa feared Atsumu may have stopped breathing. 

“The hell? Are you serious?” Atsumu eventually asked quietly. 

“Yes…” Kiyoomi whispered. 

“Which hospital?” Atsumu eventually asked. 

“Are you going to ask what’s wrong?” 

“Which hospital?” Atsumu repeated, a little more sternly. Sakusa answered Atsumu’s question. 

“Thank you,” Atsumu said and hung up the phone. 

“Miya-” Sakusa started but gave up and placed his phone on the stand next to him. He rested his eyes. He was tired. Tired of everything. 

____________________________________________

The morning came painfully quickly and Sakusa was awoken by the low rap of a knock on his door. He glanced up, expecting to tell a nurse to leave him alone but he was greeted but a familiar blond setter who’s smile looked more pained than usual and his eyelids drooped more than they ever did. In his hands he clutched two mugs. 

“Coffee?” he asked. “Just the way you like it, disgustingly sweet.”

“Says you. You drink black coffee. That’s more disgusting if you ask me,” Sakusa joked back, taking the mug from Atsumu. 

“Reminds me of someone I know,” Atsumu whispered as Kiyoomi took a sip of the coffee. Sakusa just glanced up and said nothing. 

“You remembered my coffee order?” Sakusa asks after a minute and Atsumu just smiles and nods.

“Not a hard one to forget.”

“It’s pretty specific,” Sakusa mumbled. Atsumu shrugged. “Are you going to ask what’s wrong?” Sakusa then asked the same question as last night and Atsumu shook his head. “Why?”

“I don’t wanna know,” he said plainly. 

“Are you going to ask me how much longer I have?” Sakusa asked instead but Atsumu shook his head again. “Why?” Sakusa asked again. 

“I don’t wanna know. It’s gonna hurt too much.”

Sakusa swallowed. “I barely know you.”

Atsumu exhaled heavily. “I don’t care. Does this seem like something acquaintances would do for one another?” 

“Then what are you calling us?”

Atsumu thought. “Whatcha wanna be called?”

“Teammates,” Sakusa said and Atsumu laughed slightly. 

“Whatever you want, Omi.”

“Why are you so nice to me when I’m so rude?”

Atsumu took a few long sips from his coffee, contemplating his answer. “‘Cause I like ya, Omi.” He didn’t add ‘and I’m in love with ya and wanna spend the rest of our sad lives together.’ 

“Why?”

Atsumu shrugged. “I just do, Omi. I don’t need a reason.”

“Pfft.”

“Don’t like that answer?” Atsumu jokes and Sakusa just rolls his eyes. “What are ya even allowed to do here?”

“Stare at the wall,” Sakusa mumbled and Atsumu snorted.

“Sounds pretty boring,” Atsumu observed and Sakusa nodded. “I’ll bring cards tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Uh huh! And my laptop so we can watch movies,” Atsumu informed. Sakusa raised his eyebrows. 

“Tomorrow?” he repeated. 

“Yup. Don’t want me coming back, Omi-Omi?” Atsumu laughed and Sakusa just shook his head and smiled slightly. Atsumu bit his lip. Sakusa's smile count was officially at five smiles, including the ones he’d gotten at the training camp. 

“No, that’s okay. I don’t mind,” Sakusa said and Atsumu nodded. 

“Then that’s settled,” Atsumu said and spent the rest of that day at the hospital. 

____________________________________________

Four days after Sakusa has been diagnosed:

Just as Atsumu had promised, he showed up after school at the hospital with a deck of cards in his pocket, his laptop under his arm, and two cups of coffee in his hands. 

“For my Omi,” he said and handed the coffee to Sakusa whose face was flushed at being called Atsumu’s . He didn’t really mind it though but he’d never admit that. 

“You know how to play war?” Atsumu asked as he gave the deck a good shuffle. Sakusa nodded and Atsumu dealt the cards. 

They played four rounds of war until Atsumu had lost each one. “Omiiii~ why are you so good at this game?” he grumbled and Sakusa smiled. Six smiles. 

A knock sounded at the door. It was a nurse. 

“Hello, Atsumu. Visiting hours are over. Let’s allow Kiyoomi to get some rest,” the nurse said. 

“Noooo, we didn’t even get to watch a movie together,” Atsumu complained. 

“Tomorrow,” the nurse said. 

“Tomorrow,” Atsumu nodded. “Bye, Omi. Sleep well.”

“Thank you, Miya. You too.”

Once Atsumu was gone the nurse smiled. “Aren’t you two cute together?”

“Huh?” Sakusa asked. “Oh, we aren’t like… ‘together’,” he said awkwardly. 

“You aren’t? You like him?” she pressed. 

“I’m sorry, but I barely know you,” Kiyoomi mumbled to the nurse and the nurse smiled. 

“You do, don’t you.”

“No, what makes you think that.”

“The way you look at him and talk to him and act to him. The way you roll your eyes at him in a loving way rather than an annoyed way. The way you look right now as you think about him and listen to me talk about him,” the nurse explained making Sakusa scrunch his nose up. 

“None of that’s true.”

“Don’t be stubborn, Kiyoomi. We both know that that boy is the only person you have, do, and will ever love. Now come to terms with it yourself before it’s too late,” the nurse said. And with that, she left the room leaving Sakusa shocked and confused. 

Was that true? No, he loved… well, liked his parents. What about Komori? He loved Komori? But not in the way the nurse was talking about. He didn’t like Atsumu in that way. And even if he did, which he didn’t, he would never act upon those feelings because he’d just be gone all too soon and break Atsumu more than he feared the boy would already be. 

____________________________________________

Two months after Sakusa’s diagnosis:

“Omi? Can I ask ya a question?” Atsumu asked. He was laying on the couch next to the hospital bed that Sakusa was laying on. 

“You just did, Miya.”

“Another joke? Yer getting too good at those,” Atsumu laughed and looked over, seeing Kiyoomi smiling slightly. This was officially 17 smiles over the span of him counting. 

“I guess so,” Kiyoomi agreed. 

“Actually, I have a few questions,” Atsumu changed. Sakusa just nodded, prompting him to ask them. “Why do ya call me ‘Miya’?”

“Because I don’t like getting emotionally attached to people and if I call you Atsumu too much then I’ll probably get attached to you and that’s going to hurt too much,” Sakusa said honestly. It was probably the deepest he’d gone with Atsumu. 

“Omi… I guess that’s sort of how I don’t want to know what’s wrong with ya and what yer timespan is right? Coping mechanism I guess,” Atsumu said and Sakusa nodded. He guessed that was sort of what was going on. 

“Okay, now that you’ve talked about not getting emotionally attached, have ya ever had a girlfriend?” 

Sakusa scrunched his nose. “No.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“My parents have never let me, plus I’ve never really met a girl I’m interested in. I’m not really into girls to be honest,” Sakusa mumbled and Atsumu almost choked. 

“Really?”

“‘Really’ what? I’ve never had a girlfriend or I’m gay?”

“Um… both?”

“How about you?” Sakusa asked curiously. 

“Mm hmm, I have. But they're not as fun as guys.” Atsumu shrugged. Sakusa glanced over, cocking an eyebrow. “Omi, I’m bi. How did ya not know that?” 

Sakusa furrowed his brow and looked frustrated and thought for a minute. “Huh, I guess that makes sense.”

“Yeah, I’ve kissed guys and hooked up with them but I’ve never really found ‘the one I wanna date’. But pretty recently I think I’ve found someone I’d wait on for a long time,” Atsumu said in a sort of daze. 

“Congratulations,” Sakusa murmured. 

“Ya gonna ask me who it is?”

“No.”

“Okay, Omi. Next question, your parents are pretty tough and strict right? Why?”

“I don’t know. I have two older siblings that are both incredibly successful in academics and stuff and when I wasn’t interested in that but really good at volleyball, they said I could do it, but they didn’t like it. So, they pushed me to be the best to ‘make use of useless skills’ as they say. But not just in sports but also in school and because of that I had no friends and wasn’t used to being social or nice to others so my only friend is my cousin,” Sakusa explained plainly. 

“And me!” 

“... and you I guess,” Sakusa added, causing Atsumu to literally beam. 

“I guess that makes sense. Okay, last question. Why are you a germaphobe, Omi-kun?” 

“My grandmother got really sick when I was really young with a case of the flu or something and she was the only person who ever told me I was doing good enough and meant it. She was the only person I loved. And then she died and I never wanted that to happen to me or anyone else again because that broke me. It sort of made me the cold, pessimistic person I am and I never wanted to feel that way again,” Kiyoomi revealed. Atsumu was looking at the other boy, eyes watery a bit. 

“Omi… thank you for telling me that. I’m… I’m so sorry that happened,” Atsumu mumbled and Sakusa shrugged. 

“It’s a part of life I guess. I just never wanted to go through it again but look where we are… especially at such a young age,” Sakusa said. Atsumu bit his lip. 

“I…” 

I love you Kiyoomi Sakusa and I would go to the ends of the earth just to see you smile and to live a day longer than you’re promised, however long that is. I love your hair and your eyes and your moles and your body and your smile, when you actually have it on your face. But I also love your scowl and your pessimistic personality. I love that you’re a germaphobe. I love you just like I like my coffee.

“Atsumu?” Sakusa asked and Atsumu swallowed at his name. He choked down his tears. He was crying.

“Omi… I need to go. I think it’ll be a little while before I visit again,” Atsumu mumbled, collecting his stuff. 

“What… Atsumu, no. Don’t go. You’re the only thing I like in this stupid world, the only thing that hasn’t been taken away from me. Please don’t go… I don’t want to lose you too,” Sakusa whispered. 

“I’m sorry, Omi. I am… I’ll see you around,” Atsumu mumbled and rushed out of there. 

Sakusa hadn’t cried since he’d found out his grandmother had passed and he told himself he never planned on crying again. But as soon as the door closed behind Atsumu his throat burned and tears spilled out of his eyes. He didn’t even want to live another few months. His life was over right there because he realized that Atsumu was the only thing worth living for in this wretched world. He realized he did in fact love Atsumu Miya. 

“Fuck.”

____________________________________________

Four months after Sakusa’s diagnosis:

Sakusa hadn’t seen Atsumu in about two months and that had taken a major toll on him and the doctors and nurses had noticed it, constantly flooding him with questions about what was going on and etcetera. He had just fallen into unrequited love and it hurt him so badly that he didn’t know how to handle it. 

He’d never been in love, so much as with someone that was as big of a brat as Atsumu and looked how it had paid off. If Sakusa hadn’t hated love before, he certainly did now and it stung even more. Little did he know that Atsumu was going through the same thing. 

“Yer literally such an idiot, ya know that right?” Osamu asked Atsumu. Atsumu groaned into the pillow. 

“Ughhhh, yeah. I know. Thanks for reminding me.”

“Leave him alone, Osamu. He’s going through his first heartbreak,” their mother said. 

“I’m not even broken, I just…”

“It’s not too late,” their mother said. 

“Huh?” both boys said at the same time. 

“You still love him right?”

“Duh,” Atsumu said. 

“You said he likes coffee just as much as you, right?”

“Yeah? What does that have to do with anything?” 

“Here’s the plan…”

____________________________________________

It was almost 12 at night and Sakusa was almost completely asleep when the door creaked open, with a shaded figure standing in it. 

“Who the hell are you?” Sakusa hissed. 

“It’s the person you hate the most,” Atsumu mumbled, still standing in the door frame. 

“Get out. I don’t want to talk to you.”

“I brought a peace offering?” Atsumu offered, holding up two coffee mugs. Sakusa sat for a moment. 

“Fine, come in. How the hell did you even get into the hospital anyway? It’s literally closed,” Sakusa accused, grabbing the mug from Atsumu who shrugged. 

“I have my ways.”

“I literally don’t even want to know,” Sakusa mumbled, sipping on the coffee. Atsumu snorted. 

“For legal reasons, that’s probably smartest.”

Sakusa choked. “What did you want anyway?”

“To um… apologize. I know what I did was a jerk move and ya probably hate my guts-”

“Yup.”

“-but I wanted to make things right. You can hate me all ya want, you get a pass. But just… let me say sorry and tell ya that you mean more to me than anyone and I realized that over the past two months and I thought it was too late but I hope it’s not. Let me say sorry and come visit you again, Omi, and try to make this horrible event at least mildly bearable,” Atsumu pleaded. 

Sakusa stared at the wall across from him for a couple minutes, feeling Atsumu’s intense gaze on him the whole time. 

“Fine, but only because I feel the same way and I need a distraction,” Sakusa eventually said and Atsumu audibly sighed in relief. 

“Yay, thank you Omi-kun. And… you feel the same way?”

“Don’t be that way,” Kiyoomi mumbled, sipping on his drink getting a smirk from Atsumu. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes enjoying their drinks and the peaceful company of one another until Atsumu broke the silence. 

“Has anyone ever told ya that you look really pretty in the moonlight?”

Sakusa turned his face away as though to hide his flush. “No, no one has ever told me that.”

“Okay, well, you look really pretty in the moonlight, Omi.”

Sakusa turned to look at Atsumu, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. He swallowed harshly. 

“Um… you look really pretty in the moonlight too, Atsumu,” he said awkwardly. Atsumu gaped. 

“My first name and a compliment? Omi! Yer gonna make me cry,” Atsumu joked and Sakusa rolled his eyes. “Ya know, I really love my midnight cups of coffee with ya. They’re always the best,” Atsumu said. Sakusa bit his lip. 

“Me too…”

“Really?"

“Mm hmm…” Sakusa said, tiredly. 

“You wanna sleep, Omi-Omi?” Atsumu asked gently and Sakusa yawned in response. 

Atsumu was sitting on the edge of the bed but he scooted up and nuzzled into the hospital bed right next to Sakusa. He wrapped his arm around the other boy and Sakusa pressed his face in the crook of Atsumu’s neck and Atsumu held his breath. 

He never wanted this moment to end. He had honestly expected Sakusa, the germaphobe who never wanted to be touched, to shove him away the moment he did this. But instead, Sakusa melted into his touch. 

“Atsumu?”

“Omi?”

“I… I like this.”

“I like it too,” Atsumu whispered back. 

“Let’s have another midnight cup of coffee together tomorrow night,” Sakusa offered and Atsumu smiled. 

“Of course, Omi. Anything for ya.”

And both boys had slept the most peacefully that night then they had for two months. 

____________________________________________

Five months after Sakusa’s diagnosis:

Atsumu continued to come during the day and then would sneak in during the night to have midnight cups of coffee with Sakusa until they got caught last night. 

“Atsumu Miya, the hospital is closed. You need to leave,” the nurse had said. Of course Atsumu whined and threw a fit until he eventually left earning a laugh from Sakusa which was well worth everything in Atsumu’s opinion. 

That had made it 21 smiles and 3 laughs. 

Now Atsumu was sitting on a chair next to Sakusa’s bed, ranting about how Osamu had cooked Onigiri for Suna and how Atsumu hadn’t gotten any. (“Who’s Suna?” Sakusa had asked. “Oh! Right! That’s my brother’s boyfriend and our best friend,” Atsumu had explained. “Both you and your brother are into men?” Sakusa had teased. “Yeah, I guess,” Atsumu had mumbled, causing Sakusa to smile making the count 22 smiles and 3 laughs.) 

“Omi?”

“Yeah?” Sakusa responded, looking at Atsumu. 

“... are ya allowed to leave the hospital for anything?”

Sakusa frowned. To be quite honest, he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to or not. He hadn’t really asked nor had any interest to do so. 

“Maybe, I’m not sure. I think it depends on my physical state though and with a wheelchair and a nurse I probably could. Why?”

“Oh, if you wanted to, I have a really important volleyball game tomorrow and I was wondering if ya wanted to come. Plus, my brother, ma, and Suna wanna meet ya,” Atsumu said. Sakusa tilted his head and thought. 

“We can ask my nurse but that sounds kind of nice. I would like to get out of the hospital and I’ve missed volleyball a lot recently. Plus, I’ve never seen you and your brother play together,” Sakusa said. 

“Is that a yes?”

“Ask my nurse.”

Atsumu did and the nurse said that would be okay if she came with them to monitor everything. 

“Yay, Omi! I’m so excited. I’ll text ya the location. I’ll see ya tomorrow,” Atsumu said and Sakusa nodded. 

The next day came quickly and Sakusa was so nervous. He hadn’t gone out in five months. Five whole months had passed since he’d stepped foot out of the musty hospital. He was being wheeled to the cab that he and his nurse would be taking to Atsumu’s game and he bit his lip. 

“Have you confessed to him yet?” the nurse asked. 

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t play dumb again, Kiyoomi. I swear to god, when are you going to tell him that you love him?” 

“Eventually.”

“You’re so much work,” the nurse jokes. 

When they arrived, the court was buzzing with athletes and family members and friends. Sakusa was wheeled to the edge of the court on the side that Atsumu’s school, Inarizaki, was currently warming up. 

Atsumu spotted Sakusa and he smiled in his direction and Sakusa nodded. Atsumu held up his finger to signal that he’d be over in one second and Sakusa shook his head, telling him to keep warming up. 

Atsumu then jogged over, followed by a boy who looked exactly like Atsumu except with silvery-gray hair and blue eyes and a boy with brown hair and bad posture. 

“Omi! I’m really glad you could come. This is my brother, Osamu, and his boyfriend Rintarō Suna. Say hi!” Atsumu introduced. 

“Hey, I’m Sakusa,” Kiyoomi said. 

“Ahh, the infamous ‘Omi-Omi’. I’m glad I can finally meet ya,” Osamu said, smirking. Sakusa furrowed his brows, confused. 

“We gotta go get ready to play. See ya later, Omi,” Atsumu said, steering the other two away. 

“So, that’s the love of your life, huh?” Suna teased and Atsumu narrowed his eyes. 

“He’s very attractive, yer right,” Osamu teased too. 

“I swear to go, Imma murder ya both-”

“Finish warming up,” Kita instructed and the trio listened. 

The game went so well. Inarizaki won both sets, keeping a three point lead the entire time. At the end of the game Atsumu ran up to Sakusa, sweat and all, overjoyed and bouncing with excitement. 

“You did well, Miya. Congratulations on your win,” Sakusa said. 

“Thanks, Omi-kun. Let me introduce ya to my mom,” Atsumu said and wheeled Sakusa over to his mother. 

“Ma, this is Sakusa,” Atsumu introduced again. His mother looked and smiled. Atsumu had her smile for sure, Kiyoomi observed. 

“Nice to meet you. Atsumu talks about you a lot ,” his mom teased, making Atsumu blush. 

“Ma!”

“Sorry, sorry. You’re a very handsome man,” she told Sakusa. 

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“Of course.”

“Omi, ya wanna go on a walk around the area?” Atsumu asked and Sakusa nodded. 

Atsumu pushed Kiyoomi and they walked in silence for a couple minutes until Atsumu broke it with a question. 

“You miss don’t ya? That was hard for ya, wasn’t it?” Atsumu asked and Sakusa looked down. 

“A little… but I enjoyed seeing you play,” Sakusa said. 

“Well, thank ya for showing up even though it was hard. It… it means a lot, Omi. 

“Sure.”

“You want coffee?”

“I’d love some.”

____________________________________________

Nine months after Sakusa’s diagnosis:

Sakusa’s body was shutting down faster and faster and basic movements were getting harder and harder for him. Atsumu visited everyday, arriving at ten on weekends because of how long the ride was, and at four on weekdays, and stayed till visiting hours closed at nine. Every day he brought Sakusa his coffee and everyday Atsumu did all he could to distract Sakusa and brighten up his room. 

Despite the fact that Atsumu didn’t know how much longer the other had, he had a feeling Sakusa’s time would be cut short soon and that pained him. He knew he’d never be ready, but processing it was harder than he’d ever imagined. He wasn’t ready to lose this man, someone he loves more than anything in the world. 

“O-omi?” Atsumu was lying next to Sakusa who was laying his head against Atsumu’s chest. 

Sakusa had barely been able to speak lately and was limiting his speech because it was so hard for him. It was also hard for him to swallow his saliva, so a small trail of it was at the corner of his mouth. 

“I need to tell you something that I know I’m going to regret if I never tell you before… before… before it’s too late,” Atsumu said, exhaling heavily. Sakusa just tilted his head up slightly to look Atsumu in the eyes. 

Atsumu was already crying, seeing Sakusa in such a vulnerable state and in so much pain and discomfort, he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to remember how to breathe. Trying to remember how to form the words that he so desperately needed to say before it was too late and he regretted it. 

“From… from the minute I met ya Omi, I knew you didn’t like me and that did something to me. It made me want to… I guess prove myself to ya. To make ya notice how great of a person I could actually be despite you not realizing it at first. And over time, I don’t know if I’ve been able to do that but I’ve grown closer to ya and realized I didn’t just want to prove myself to you. I wanted to make you love me the way I love you. The way I love yer dark curls. The way I love yer mysterious eyes. The way I love yer two moles and I just wanna kiss ‘em. The way I love yer muscular body because it’s so hot. The way I love yer lips and wanna kiss ‘em and never stop. The way I love yer pessimistic personality and it makes me laugh. The way I love that yer a germaphobe and that over time, you slowly allow me to touch ya more and more. The way I love our midnight cups of coffee that are so personal and intimate. The way I love you and wanna hold ya and never let ya go because you mean more to me then any cup of coffee. Omi, you are my coffee. Yer bitter and dark but yer my favorite thing ever and I’d never sacrifice anything for ya. I love you , Omi. My Omi. My coffee” Atsumu confessed. 

Sakusa struggled to pull himself upright, but he did it and he swiped the back of his hand at his mouth and he struggled to raise his hand but he did, and used it to tilt Atsumu’s face towards his, and pulled it so close. They were a breath away, so close, so personal. 

“A-Atsumu,” Sakusa tried but the words were hard to get out and Atsumu closed his eyes, the tears slipping from his eyes. “D… don’t cry,” Sakusa whispered. 

“How can I not?” Atsumu asked, desperately. Sakusa bit his lip, his eyes watering as they danced all across the other’s face. 

“I… d-didn’t know you f-f-felt that way,” Sakusa murmured, trying to get words out. 

“Of course, Omi. I’ve never felt that way about anyone and I mean it. All of it,” Atsumu said, tears skating down his cheeks. 

Sakusa’s lips were slightly parted and he was breathing heavily through his lips, his hand still resting on Atsumu’s cheek. He used his thumb to brush over Atsumu’s cheek, brushing away the tears. Atsumu closed his eyes and leaned into the touch and Sakusa squeezed his eyes shut and tried to remember what he wanted to say. 

“A-Atsumu,” he stuttered. 

“Ssh,” Atsumu whispered. 

“I-I feel the same. I… can you get me a pen and paper?” Sakusa slurred and Atsumu nodded, leaning over to the bedside. “I-I can’t sp-speak right now. I’ll write them down. R-read them when you’re… you’re ready,” Sakusa mumbled, wiping another string of saliva off his chin. Atsumu nodded and sniffled. 

“But, you feel the same way, Omi?” Atsumu cried and Sakusa closed his eyes and nodded. Then he opened them and they stared at each other and Atsumu really took Sakusa in. 

“Yer eyes are a really dark emerald green?” Atsumu asked and Sakusa smiled, closed his eyes to squeeze out his tears and nodded. “I’ve never noticed that… they’re even prettier than I realized. Yer even prettier than I realized.”

Sakusa bit his lip and smiled again. 

“That’s 54,” Atsumu whispered. Sakusa tilted his head. “Ever since I met you, I’ve gotten to see you smile 54 times. And I’ve been able to hear you laugh 13 times.”

Sakusa furrowed his brows and looked down, crying. “I-I’ve n-n-never smiled that much till… till I met… met you, A-Atsumu,” Sakusa mumbled, crying still. 

“Don’t cry, Omi.”

“B-but you are.”

Atsumu was holding the other so tightly, terrified to let him go. “Because I love ya, Omi. Yer my coffee,” he smiled. 

Sakusa smiled again, making the count 55. “You’re my coffee too, Atsumu.”

Atsumu looked away, sniffing deeply. He looked back and skated a thumb over Sakusa’s incredible chapped lips and laughed slightly. 

“How are ya so pretty when you’re crying and sick?” Atsumu asked and Sakusa swallowed. 

“H-how are you so-so pretty in… in general?” 

Atsumu started laughing, tears streaming down his face. “I’m glad I met you, Omi. You changed my life for the better. Imma miss ya. I’m never gonna stop loving ya.”

Sakusa’s lower lip quivered and his eyes skated across Atsumu’s as if to say ‘me too’. 

“L-let me wr-write the letter, pl-please,” Sakusa pleaded, eyes glistening. Atsumu pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. Atsumu nodded. 

“D-do you have any regrets?” Sakusa asked Atsumu who was standing by the door. 

“Yeah. Not confessing sooner. Not loving ya harder. Not playing professionally with ya. But I’m okay with all of it because I was still able to play with you at the training camp. I was still able to love you. And I was still able to confess,” Atsumu said. Sakusa just looked at the other boy. 

“I’m coming back tonight with yer coffee, Omi. Promise me yer gonna be here,” Atsumu willed. Sakusa closed his eyes and looked away. He couldn’t do that and Atsumu knew that. “I’m gonna miss my midnight cups of coffee with you,” Atsumu whispered, kissing Kiyoomi’s forehead gently. 

“L-love you, Atsumu… my Atsumu. M-my cup of coffee,” Sakusa said, smiling at Atsumu. 

“56,” Atsumu whispered and left the hospital room to allow Sakusa space to write his letter. 

____________________________________________

Atsumu didn’t have to know who the unknown number was who was calling him at ten at night to know it was the hospital. 

“Is this Atsumu Miya?” a voice asked. Atsumu exhaled heavily. 

“I-it’s he,” Atsumu stammered, biting his lip. 

It was the news he was fearfully expecting. 

He hung up the phone and threw it at the wall, collapsing onto the bed. 

“Fuck!” he shouted. He shouted that over and over and over again, crying, until his throat burned and he couldn’t take it anymore. A low knock sounded at the door and his mom and brother walked in. 

“‘Tsumu?” his brother asked cautiously. “S-Sakusa’s parents are here.”

Atsumu stood up, jaw tense, eyes swollen. He walked to the door and was greeted with two people who looked painfully like their son and Atsumu ran a hand through his hair. 

“This is for you,” Sakusa’s dad said, handing Atsumu a letter and one of Kiyoomi’s jackets. Atsumu’s hand shook as he took them from Kiyoomi’s father. 

“Thank you… I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you. We’re sorry for yours,” Sakusa’s mother said and Atsumu swallowed. “The funeral is next Saturday… if you’d like to come.”

Atsumu nodded and Sakusa’s parents left. 

“‘Tsumu?” Osamu tried again and Atsumu shook his head, walking back to his room. 

His hands quaked as he opened the letter and was met with Kiyoomi’s shaky script handwriting which made Atsumu smile. 

Atsumu, 

My life would be different without you. It would’ve been the same routine over and over and over again. Volleyball, school. I wouldn’t have experienced love… being loved and loving someone else. The minute you walked up to me in that training camp I told myself ‘this is an annoying brat if I’ve ever seen one. But an annoying brat I wanna know for the rest of my life’. And boy, was a right. 

Sadly, my life had to be cut short and we weren’t able to spend it together, playing volleyball because that would’ve been something special… just like what we have going on here. We’re special, Miya. You’re special. Never forget that. Keep playing volleyball for me, would you? 

I think I’ve always known that I loved you but it wasn’t until we had our first midnight cup of coffee together at the training camp that I looked at you in a different light (literally. The moonlight dancing on your skin was beautiful). I looked at you as someone I wanted to be with forever. 

The more I did those midnight cups of coffee with you, the more I fell in love. But the more I denied it or told myself you could never love me or whatever. And then it was too late. The minute you confessed to me, I couldn’t confess back. 

I couldn’t tell you I love you and your dopey smile. I couldn’t tell you I loved your honey brown eyes that have golden flecks in them like the stars in the midnight sky. I couldn’t tell you I loved your blond hair that swoops into your face perfectly. I couldn’t tell you that you’re one of the best setters I’ve seen. I couldn’t tell you that you and your flirty personality made me blush and smile way more than I’d like to admit. I couldn’t tell you that you were like my coffee, sweet and my favorite thing. 

Atsumu, you’re my favorite thing, forever and always, never forget that. 

Do me a favor though and don't cry over me for too long? I don’t think I can handle that many tears being shed and I’d rather you go and play volleyball for me and drink some actual good coffee for me instead. Sound good? 

I’m glad I met you, Miya. You changed my life like coffee. I’ll never forget those midnight cups of coffee with you. 

Love, 

Your Bitter, Dark Cup of Coffee. Your Omi. 

P.S. 56 is now 58 :)

58. Atsumu had gotten Kiyoomi to smile 58 times since they’d met and that’s all Atsumu had ever wanted. He was happy. 58. 

Atsumu’s tears were dripping from his eyes and dropping onto the letter Sakusa had written for him by the fourth sentence. He hated Sakusa being gone, he did, but he was happy Sakusa wasn’t suffering anymore. He was happy he could confess to Sakusa. He was happy Sakusa felt the same way. So, he pulled himself off his bed, slipped on Sakusa’s sweatshirt, breathing in his scent, and dashed to the door. 

“Where are you off to?” his mother asked gently. 

“I’m gonna go grab a cup of coffee with cream, nutmeg, and a bit of vanilla,” Atsumu said, smiling ever-so slightly.