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Oikawa Tooru (1st person POV)
I stared at him, those olive-green eyes staring back.
Shock.
No other word could describe how I was feeling at this moment or maybe there were 1000 and 1 words that could but my brain couldn’t settle on just one. Emotions were surging through the course of my blood and my heart was set to a pounding beat like the rhythm of a drum.
“Oikawa,” he said that rough voice cracking.
It amazed me how he still looked pretty much the same from 5 years ago with his dark, spiked-up hair slightly longer now and those slightly thicker than average eyebrows seemed to have been plucked only recently. His body had also packed on more muscle and his skin radiated browns alerting me that wherever he had been was most likely a sun-kissed countryside unlike rainy urban Japan I had left 4 years ago.
“Look... I don’t know how to say this or if I even have the right to be standing in front of you,” he starts suddenly finding his shoes more interesting than me.
Never in these five years would I believe that this guy who disappeared into thin air would be standing here on my front porch. Moreover never would I have expected him to be apologising.
The man looked to be in near tears, he looked like he was ready to collapse to his knees and break.
My body was acting before my mind could register, at that instant I distanced myself from the door, taking multiple steps back, my breath picking up.
“What are you doing here?” I asked in a breath. “You shouldn’t be here,” I whispered, a layer of tears lining my eyes. “Please say this is just some allusion!” I begged a broken plea and took another step back.
“Please Oikawa…,” he continued as he took a step forward but he didn’t get very far when a shriek flew from my mouth.
His eyes widened and he bounded back.
As this was all unfolding, we both didn’t notice a set of blue eyes watching us from the foyer.
“Patter, patter, patter,” the sounds of muffled feet rebounded off of the floorboards however, when the sound reached my eardrums - the steps were roaring with the sound of war trumpets and my body stiffened and then I froze.
‘No… No, please not right now,’ I begged.
“Mummy?”
I whirled around the tears now streaming down my face and I stared across the room towards my 4-year-old son - Tobio Asuka Iwaizumi . His tiny feet were marching across the small apartment, his arms stretching towards mine and then I was meeting him halfway, his miniature hand grabbing onto my pointer finger and tugged at it.
“Mummy’s upset,” he stated.
I shook my head, “mummies okay, baby.”
Like me he was also shaking his head, his black strains of hair moving in a swish of movement and tugged on my finger once again. A strangled laugh left me before I was falling onto the ground in front of him. He tilted his head but in one single movement, he was cradling my head and held it in his arms. I smiled, he was always such a good kid - kind and protective of her mother's emotions just like that of his fathers.
“Tooru?” a soft but firm voice called.
My chin was wobbling and my face scrunched up that when I looked over my shoulder at the other man he was shuttering at the raw emotion present on my face. I couldn’t help the wails from breaking past my lips as I took in his appearance, the appearance of my posed missing boyfriend.
Tobio was a replica of the man who stood in front of us - it was all in the personality.
I went to stand but my body wouldn’t function so it was crumbling back to the wood. I tried again, but as soon as I stood, my legs were collapsing from underneath me. A cry of alarm parted my lips and I could hear Tobio’s cries. I was mere millimetres away from hitting the solid ground but a hand wrapped itself around my upper arm and pulled me upright.
His smell flooded its way through my sensors, it was the aroma of morning dew and it had my knees buckling overwhelmed by it. I couldn't resist anymore as I slump into him, hiding my face in his shirt.
“IWA!” I wept out.
His arms around my wrist tightening and the knuckles on my fist were probably turning white as I clenched his shirt.
As if sensing my legs were about to give way he released my arm before bringing his hands around my back and then down to circle my waist. If it wasn’t for those arms supporting my body weight, I would've collapsed to the ground before proceeding to curl in on myself.
“I -I just can-’t,” I stuttered and tried my hardest to shove at his flesh and make the distance between us.
“Tooru Oikawa,” he roared, descending me into a heap of whimpers.
My body stiffened back up and was slumping back against his chest.
“Stop, just stop,” he demeaned.
I didn’t have enough energy to snap back.
Next, Iwaizumi was pulling back taking me by the shoulders and it was then that I saw the tears that cascaded down his face.
“I’m sorry,” was all he whispered before he picked me up like he would a child and whisked me away to the couch where he proceeded to place me on.
Watching in silence I drew my knees up and into my chest I watched the way he turned away, observing the way he kneeled down in front of our little boy.
Tobio (A name I always wanted to call my first child. The meaning of the name was ‘to fly’). Asuka (was the one name Iwaizumi always wanted to call a child if he ended up having one. The meaning of the name being ‘Tomorrow’ ) then Iwaizumi (which was meant to be my surname after I married the man I loved but in the end, I had a runaway groom.)
Tobio Asuka Iwaizumi - to fly into Tomorrow.
“It’s Tobio, right?” he asked.
Surprise filled me - I was astounded that he could still remember what I wanted to call our first child if we had one.
Tobio beamed his white pearls at the man in front of him, not knowing that this man was actually his father.
“Yes sir. Tobio Asuka Iwaizumi… it’s a pleasure to meet you,” he smiled, giggling a little. Way too formal for a 4-year-old.
I watched as awe painted over Iwaizumis facial features and then he turned towards me. His eyes wide, beaming and a smile broke out. He turned back to Tobio ( his son ) and beamed down at him.
“Do you want to know something funny?” Hajime asked and when Tobio nodded did he continue. “My surname is Iwaizumi… but occasionally people shorten it to Iwa,” he spoke to Tobio in a fake shocked voice.
Tobio’s eyes went wide, “Really?” those blue eyes holding the fascination someone would have for a superhero.
Hajime smiles softly.
If only this sweet moment could last but it just couldn’t and I knew that.
“Tobio would it be alright if I could have some alone time with your mother?” Hajime asked.
Tobio just looked unsure.
Hajime was quick to reassure him, “Don’t you worry Tobio I won’t hurt your mommy, he will probably hurt me,” Hajime chuckled lightly. “We just have something very important to discuss.”
Tobio nodded before he was running off down the hallway towards the room we shared. I was almost shouting at him to come back not wanting to be alone with Hajime.
It felt like five minutes of me staring at Hajime’s back awkward silence eating at the void between us - silence, pin-drop worthy silence. His body was still turned in the direction of the corridor our little boy ran down.
I felt dread run through me and fear raced through my blood as I said, “Iwaizumi.”
“That’s not my name…”
Raging fury buckled up from my core and my mouth kept on opening and closing on its own. ‘ I know it's not your bloody name but at this present time, you haven’t earned my respect for me to call you by it, You asshole! You knocked me up and disappeared 5 years ago.’
Tears pricked my eyes.
“How long?”
“Excuse me?”
“I said how long did you know?!”
‘He had no right to scream at me - he left me, US!’
“Aha, so you want to know how long I was with child before you fell off the face of the country?” I couldn’t help the next set of bitter words, “who says he’s even yours?”
Hajime winced at that and then silence.
‘Huh?! So he's not even going to fight for what we had or tell me why he disappeared?’ My thoughts pondered and then I sighed, standing to my feet and went to walk away with the building of tears in my eyes. He didn't want me back or our child .
“Tooru,” he finally spoke up and at the sound of his voice, I couldn’t stop the cry from leaving my lips. He sounded terrified like he was wearing everything he was at the present time on his sleeve, so vulnerable, so scared, so alone .
looking over my shoulder he was now facing me but his eyes were down at his feet.
“I’m sorry,” he said.. “I don’t know how many times I will need to say sorry, or gravel at your feet but I will do it. I’m sorry I wasn't there for you or for him.” He finally looked up and as we stared at each other time faded and that’s when it hit me, all anger, the pain diminished. I just needed to know that he was breathing, that he was alive and wasn't dead.
Turning my body to face him fully, my legs seemed to walk on their own terms - towards him and before I could stop myself I had my arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him close.
“You're alive,” I whispered.
He tried to pull away but I just held on tighter and he got the Memo, his arms gliding over my shoulder before they linked together around my neck.
“You’re alive,” I said again but this time my body trembled.
This time I let him when he pulled away.
Hajime stared down at me in pain, hurt and something I haven't seen in a long time, love, appreciation and worth. He pulled me back into him and hugged me tightly to his chest like if he was to let go I would vanish into thin air but really it was the other way around if I let go for just a second I believed wholeheartedly that he would disappear.
I don’t know how long we stood there in each other's arms but in those split seconds, I knew I didn’t want to spend another moment without him in my life.
“Oikawa, I’m so sorry-,” he went to continue but I cut him off by grabbing his face in my hands.
“Stop! No more words, Iwaizumi,” I told him. “No more sorries, no more apologizing,” I said as I smiled at him. “No more tears,” I continued. “You have been missing for five years,” I told him like he didn't already know that.
I saw pain fill his orbs. “Five years!” I cried as tears began falling again, he began to wipe one by one away. “I’ve missed you Hajime. When I got that note those years ago, I cried day and night begging for it to be some stupid prank, that when I woke up you would be there to hold me and laugh at how gullible I was but, instead, I would wake up screaming and crying from the nightmares. When you were meant to return home a month later we were to get married and it was then I was meant to tell you I was pregnant with our baby boy. I loved you so much, that I would chase you to the ends of the world if I had too but, I had no clues to where you were and where I was supposed to look -.”
“Tooru you don’t need to look anywhere because I will always come back to you - do you understand that!”
“I was so scared when that note came with your military hat saying ‘ Hajime Iwaizumi - missing in action .’ I was so scared, so frightened that you would never return home to me, to us, to your son and that Tobio would have to grow up without his other father!” I muttered but ended in a shout at him.
By the end of my speech Iwaizumi was sobbing, a type of sobbing that brought both of us to our knees to rest together on the floor. “Tooru I didn’t know that you were with a child,” he cried out holding me tight in his embrace. “I missed you the whole time I was gone. Every day that I felt like giving up I would see your face and scream at myself for trying to give up. I needed to get back home to you,” he told me.
“What was meant to be a months training in the army reserves as a doctor turned out to be my biggest nightmare!” I bawled.
silence.
“But Tooru I returned within the year.”
I froze. ‘ WHAT!?’
“When I returned to the apartment - you weren’t there and when I asked around everyone said you just disappeared after hearing the news of my apparent death -”
I was too stunned to move.
“At first I was angry that you abandoned everything we had but then I was hunting the world down-”
Numb.
“Then Hinata called and said that you were in brazil-”
‘That was a year ago!’
“But when I got there you were already gone-”
I sobbed - ‘While I was running away, Hajime was chasing whatever trail I left behind.’
“Hinata said you were going to Argentina to follow your dream. When I heard this I was left chuckling-”
I sobbed harder. Hajime just chuckled and wiped at my face. A thump was under my chin and then it was lifting my face up.
“Baby,” he smiled. “I’m so proud of you for chasing your dreams and never giving up. I’m proud of the man you have become and for giving Tobio the best life you could.”
I looked around at the one-room shabby apartment and shook my head - “you call this good!”
“It’s hard to be an only parent, Tooru while chasing your dreams.”
I could only nod gracelessly and lunge back into his arms and he took the full force of my body and brought me in close to his heart.
“Never thought you would be here in Argentina though,” he laughed. A sobby laugh leaving my mouth as well.
“It's been way too long.”
“Yes it has been… and I have one thing to say I love you, Tooru Iwaizumi,” he remarked.
My eyes went wide. ‘Iwaizumi?’
It was then that he stood back to his feet, tears rolling down his cheeks. He gave me a hand and pulled me to my feet.
“Tooru Oikawa,” he began and fell back down to one knee, I gasped.
“I have known you my whole life and every moment spent with you has been a highlight and I want you to know that there is nowhere you can go that I will not follow, nowhere you can hide where I will not find you,” he continued.
“Are you some type of dog?” I chuckled out not helping myself.
“Your still the same as always Shittykawa -”
“Iwa-chan.”
“Will you let me finish? My knees are starting to hurt,” he stated. Once he was met with silence his words began to flow again. “You mean the absolute world to me and earlier when I was on your doorstep I was praying to whatever God to just give me this - to let me have you back. I tracked the world all the way back here, to this very moment. back to home, to where you and my newly found out son live… SO Tooru what do you say - Till death does us apart will you be stuck with me and then into the afterlife.”
“Yes,” I sang and then he was grabbing my hand, pulling off the ring he put on my finger seven years ago and then re-put it on.
He stood back up. “Welcome home, Fiancée,” I shouted this time crying in pure bliss. I jumped into his arms which were wide open for me and he swung both of us around with me flying through the air. I giggled like a high school teenager again.
“Scream it to the world,” I told him when he placed me down, he laughed before putting his mouth near my ear.
“I love you, Tooru,” he whispered so low that I could barely hear it.
“Why did you whisper it?” I asked confusion sets in.
“Because you are my world Tooru and you always will be,” he beamed and at that moment I stared at him with everything I was.
“And I love you Hajime,” I whispered back at him.
His smile grew, “why did you whisper it?”
I laughed, “Because you are my world Hajime and you always will be.”
“Mummy?” I heard Tobio ask, his voice slurry with oncoming sleep. I smiled and turned towards him, grabbing Hajime’s hand and pulling him along with me towards our little boy.
We both kneeled down in front of Tobio both smiling cheek to cheek.
“Tobio, I want you to meet someone,” I told him.
Tobio smiled towards his dad not knowing who he was truly yet. “I already know who he is. He has the same last name I have,” he told me and I just laughed.
“Yes Tobio that is true but, do you know why you guys share a last name?” I asked him, he just shook his head, no. “Well that is because this man here Tobio, is your father,” I said watching as his mind wired together with the newfound information and slowly put the pieces together like a puzzle.
“Dad?” Tobio asked, moving a step closer and Hajime nodded. “Daddy,” he squealed, jumping at Hajime and tackling them both to the ground. “I’ve missed you”.
(3 months later)
“Say goodbye to daddy, Tobio.”
“Bye-bye daddy.”
Hajime stood by the door of their new apartment smiling at his family before tracking a few steps backwards and kissing the forehead of his baby and then the lips of his fiance and said, “I love you.”
“Hmmm, just remember Iwa-chan you always must come home to us.”
“Aha, I will!”
“Good! And I love you too.”
-
“Daddy, mummies cooking Agedashi tofu tonight. So, you better be home!”
The duo just laughed.
“Don’t worry Tobio I’m not going anywhere after all this is home, you guys are my home.”