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Sirius Black was brooding, and he was going to make sure that everyone knew about it. He threw himself dramatically across the sofa in the Gryffindor common room and groaned, covering his face with his arm. James glanced up from his Potions textbook.
“Alright there, Pads?” he sighed. Sirius huffed, and responded by pulling one of the pillows up over his head and pressing it to his face. “Guess that’s a no, then,” James grumbled, turning back to his textbook.
“I just don’t get it,” Sirius whined. James sighed, and closed his book. There was no point in trying to continue his studying, not when Sirius was in this sort of mood.
“Don’t get what?” James prodded.
“Why he’s got to go and study with that stupid bloody Ravenclaw.”
“That’s a contradiction of terms, you know,” James pointed out, dropping his book on the floor with a thump. “You mean Moony, yeah?”
Sirius’ head moved under the pillow in a way that was probably a nod. “He’s always in the library these days, studying. I mean, how lame is that?”
“Well,” James drawled with a squint, “We are due to take our NEWTS in like, a month. So, I’m not really sure that studying is lame so much as the sort of, uh...expected thing to do.”
Sirius pulled the pillow off of his face with a grunt to glare at James, his silver eyes narrowed and his lips pulled down into a pout. James rolled his eyes.
“Yes, yes, we know,” James backtracked, “You’re Sirius Black, infamous rebel, you don’t do the expected thing, no matter what, blah, blah, we know. You know that these grades do matter to most of us, though, right? Like, Moony’s not the type to let his grades slip, not now.”
Sirius sighed. “Yeah, I guess,” he admitted, “But why does it have to be with that bloody Ravenclaw twat?”
James pinched the bridge of his nose. This was not the sort of thing he had the time to get into with Sirius right now. James was fairly certain that his best friend was being purposefully obtuse, at this point, with his refusal to acknowledge that he might actually have feelings for Remus. One could never tell with Sirius; he was pretty horrible at figuring out his emotions. It had been six and a half years of this shit; hell, even he and Lily had gotten together before Sirius managed to pull his head out of his arse. Ah Lily, light of his life, beautiful witch of his dreams, his girlfriend, his actual, real-life girlfriend.
“You’re thinking about Lily again, aren’t you?” Sirius grumbled, throwing a pillow at James’ face. It hit him, but did nothing to wipe the stupid, sappy grin off his face.
The portrait hole swung open to reveal a tired-looking Remus. “Moony!” Sirius called, “Come save me from James’ sappiness! Help!”
Remus rolled his eyes, but made his way over anyways. Sirius lifted his head, and patted the spot where it had been.
“Let me lay on you,” Sirius whined, and Remus obediently dropped down and let Sirius rest his head on his thigh. Remus ran his hand through Sirius’ dark waves and sighed.
“How was the study session?” James asked, picking up his book again.
“It was good,” Remus said. Sirius frowned up at him from his lap.
“Don’t be boring, Moony,” he groaned, “Let’s talk about something else.”
“Fine, fine,” Remus muttered, scratching Sirius’ scalp to placate him. His silvery eyes closed with a contented sigh, and Remus shook his head with that long-suffering little smile he usually wore just for Sirius. From his seat across from the two, James wondered how anyone could be so utterly blind to what was obvious.
Lily Evans was not an idiot. No one would mistake her for one, really, but she would just like to reassert this fact. Remus seemed to be unaware of this, because no matter how many longing glances and heartsore sighs he directed at one Sirius Black, he refused to admit that he might actually like him as more than a friend.
“You’re staring,” Lily pointed out, taking a sip of her Darjeeling. Remus made a face, his eyes snapping back to his breakfast plate. James and Sirius were heading towards them anyways, so he wouldn’t have to stare from a distance for much longer. Peter snorted into his porridge, and gave Lily a commiserate sideways glance. She rolled her eyes. Peter, at least, saw what she did, and felt her pain.
“I’m not staring,” Remus muttered, too late and too defensive to be convincing. Lily hummed.
“Good morning, goddess divine,” James greeted, pressing a kiss to Lily’s temple.
“Good morning, nuisance,” she returned, but she couldn’t help smiling. James was such a ham, but she couldn’t help the warm fluttering in her stomach when he sat down next to her. Sirius dropped into the seat across from her, next to Remus.
“Your tie isn’t tied properly, Black,” Lily sniped. “You should fix that.” She turned her nose up.
“I’m aware,” Sirius snorted, tossing his dark hair over his shoulder. “It’s ‘cause I’m a rebel, Evans, you know this.”
“Oh boy,” Lily sniffed, “What a moving display of rebellious charm, I’ll remind myself to swoon later.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” Sirius drawled, pressing his hand to his chest.
“Good morning, James, Sirius,” Remus interjected, helping himself to rashers and eggs.
“You left early,” Sirius accused, resting his cheek on his chin and narrowing his eyes at Remus. Remus glanced up and blinked.
“Yes,” he drawled, “I woke up early. I had to go meet Ethan at the library to exchange books.”
And, there it was. Sirius’ face went stormy; his brow furrowed, his eyes darkened, and his mouth turned down. Lily watched in fascination as irritation swept across his aristocratic features with a vengeance. He really was quite expressive, she mused as she spread marmalade on another piece of toast. Next to her, James sighed.
“Right, well, I’m off,” Peter said, standing up abruptly. He pulled his bag out from under the table and saluted his friends. If Lily didn’t know better, she might think he was eager to escape the storm that was brewing in Sirius’ mind. Who knows, he might have the right idea. Lily glanced up at James. He looked almost as fed up as she felt; Lily wondered if maybe she wasn’t the only one who wanted the tension between Remus and Sirius resolved. It was getting ridiculous, at this point.
“Okay, is it just me,” James started, “Or is the tension between Sirius and Remus driving you crazy, too?”
Lily snorted. “I was wondering about that,” she said, picking up a stone. It wasn’t quite flat enough to skip, probably, so she let it fall.
“It’s getting unbearable,” he huffed, running his hand through his hair. “I wish they weren’t quite so…”
“Pigheaded?” Lily suggested, “Idiotic? Obtuse?”
James made a face. “You’re not wrong,” he admitted, “But I was going more for, I dunno, blind, maybe?”
“That works too,” Lily said, bending to pick up another rock. She and James were walking down by the lake, taking a break together before dinner, and it was something of a relief to be alone with him. They didn’t get too much time alone these days, what with their NEWTS looming on the immediate horizon.
“I don’t know how to resolve it,” James muttered, staring out over the sedate waters of the lake.
“I don’t know either,” Lily sighed. She thought for a moment. Remus was stubborn, for sure, and he seemed determined to ignore the fact that he had an obvious raging crush on Sirius. From what James had told her, Sirius was much the same. How to convince two pigheaded wizards that not only did they have a crush, but that it was also reciprocated? Lily frowned.
“We could, like, I dunno, lock them in a room together, something like that?” James suggested.
“Have you met Sirius Black? There’s no way we’d be able to hold him in any room without destroying said room.”
“That…is not untrue.”
Lily sighed. “Maybe we should just talk to them about it. Openly, you know,” she mused. “You said you’ve never actually confronted Sirius about liking Remus or vice versa, and I know I’ve never said anything to Remus, so maybe we should try that.”
James hummed, picking up a rock. He drew his wand and transfigured it into the perfect skipping stone. “You could be right, my brilliant love,” he said, handing the stone to Lily.
She grinned. “I usually am,” she agreed, sending the transfigured stone skipping over the water. It jumped six times before disappearing below the surface. “We should try it,” she decided, planting her hands on her hips.
James wrapped his arms around Lily’s shoulders and rested his chin on top of her head. “We should,” he said, “But I don’t want to talk about our friends right now. Let’s just...be us.”
Lily smiled, squeezing James’ arms where they crossed her chest. “You may have a point,” she admitted. “C’mon, let’s go make out on the grass.”
“I love the way your mind works, angel,” James said with a lecherous grin. Lily rolled her eyes, but led him away nonetheless.
James hadn’t really meant to confront Sirius, but, well, things happen. And, to be fair, Sirius had started it.
“Bombarda!” Sirius yelled, slashing his wand through the air with a vengeance. James winced; the spell was strong enough to not only throw their practice dummy into the opposite wall, but to break it into multiple pieces.
“Alright, there, Pads?” James asked cautiously. Remus had gone to the library with Ethan Selwyn again, and James had a sneaking suspicion that that had something to do with Sirius’ current mood.
“Fine,” Sirius ground out, “Just fine, no problem here.” He threw another spell at the dummy, and it caught fire.
“Right,” James said, “You’re fine.” There was a beat of silence where Sirius contemplated what more he could do to the dummy and James wondered if he should be concerned for his safety. “You know what,” James blurted out, “No, no, you’re not fine. You say you are, but I know you better than that. You aren’t fine.”
For a moment, the Black madness shone in Sirius’ eyes and James considered casting a shield between them to protect himself. But then, Sirius seemed to sag, his shoulders slumping and his head hanging down. He sniffed.
“Hey, hey,” James said, reaching out and grabbing Sirius’ arm. His friend stared up at the ceiling like he was trying to pretend tears weren’t threatening to fall. James sighed. He pulled Sirius into a hug. “It’s not so bad, you know?”
“It is,” Sirius sniffed, hugging James back. “It is.”
“What’s really wrong, then?” James asked, pulling back and sitting on the floor. Sirius dropped down and wrapped his arms around his knees. “And don’t tell me nothing,” James warned, “Because we both know that’s not true.”
Sirius stared at his shoes for a moment, tracing his finger over the scuff marks on the toes of his Doc Martens. He sighed. “I…” he stared, but fell silent again.
“Is it about Remus?” James murmured, trying not to push him too far, but determined to get to the bottom of this.
Sirius shrugged, then frowned. “I think so,” he admitted, the furrow between his brows deepening as he thought. “I don’t...it bothers me, you know? That Remus wants to go off and study with someone else. But I’m not...I’m not sure why. I can’t figure it out.”
James sighed. This was typical Sirius; his emotions tended to get away from him and he never really wanted to think about it closely enough to work out why he was feeling the way he was. James loved Sirius, he really did, and he was guilty of not thinking things through himself sometimes, but this was causing problems, and if he wanted to help, he’d have to talk Sirius through his unruly emotions.
“So, it bothers you that Remus goes off with Selwyn,” James said, “Do you dislike Ethan?”
Sirius frowned. “I don’t think so. He’s alright, really. He...he was kind of fun, you know, back in Herbology in fifth year, I guess. No, I don’t dislike him.”
“But it bothers you that he goes off with Remus?”
“Yeah.” Sirius shifted, tension creeping back into his shoulders. “It makes me angry,” he admitted, “But not normally angry, like...it’s like snakes, in my stomach.”
“Like jealousy?” James suggested.
Sirius shrugged, but didn’t deny it. “I think so,” he admitted.
“So, you’re jealous of Ethan?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
Sirius was quiet for a moment. His normally expressive face closed off; he was still capable of the pureblood mask, even if he had denounced his family. “I want to spend time with Remus,” Sirius concluded.
“You don’t spend enough time with Remus?”
“I mean, I do,” Sirius mused, “But not like that, I think? I want to spend time with Remus like that.”
“In the library, you mean?” James laughed.
Sirius made a face. “No,” he snorted, “I mean alone with Remus.” He froze. He wasn’t even breathing as he stared down at the stones in the floor. “Alone with Remus,” he repeated. James leaned back on his hands. There he goes, he thought to himself.
“Merlin,” Sirius whispered, his eyes widening. “Merlin, Mordred, and Morgana. I’m in love with Moony.” He shot to his feet, grabbing his hair. “Oh, oh fuck, I’m an idiot!” he shouted.
James nodded, unwilling to deny the truth. “Yeah, kinda,” he allowed.
“You knew.”
“It’s pretty obvious, Pads.”
Sirius stared at him with horrified grey eyes. “Does Moony know?” he squeaked.
“No, he’s like...the only person in the world who’s more oblivious than you are.”
Sirius groaned and rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand. “I have to tell him,” he said. “I have to tell him, no way can I hide this.”
James shrugged. “I’m pretty sure he feels the same, if that helps,” he said, “Just...please, once you do, use a Silencing charm at night, Peter and I don’t need to hear that.”
Sirius blushed furiously, right to the tips of his ears, and James couldn’t help his chuckle.
Lily groaned and rubbed her temples.
“I concur,” Remus snorted from across the table. The library was pretty full, but they were tucked away in an out-of-the-way corner. The closest table was populated by a mixture of Slytherin and Ravenclaw fifth years. Lily was fairly sure that that dark-haired Slytherin boy was Sirius’ brother; the resemblance was almost uncanny. They were far away enough not to be able to hear Lily and Remus, though, and seemed absorbed enough in their own studying to ignore the conversation Lily was about to try to have.
“Sirius seemed pretty pissy when we left the common room,” Lily mentioned, trying to be as subtle and sneaky as her Gryffindor self could manage.
“He’s always pissy,” Remus muttered with a shrug.
“But, more so, lately. He really doesn’t like Ethan Selwyn, does he?”
“Dunno, he’s never said anything about it to me. And he would, trust me.”
“I’d believe that,” Lily snorted. She screwed the cap back on her ink bottle. She just had to go for it. “You like him, don’t you?”
Remus froze, his green-gold eyes wide with something that looked concerningly like fear. “I-I-I,” he stammered, “I have no idea what you mean.”
“Oh come on, Remus,” Lily snapped, “We all know you have a massive, raging crush on Sirius Black. Well, anyone who isn’t blind, at least.”
Remus stared at her, his mouth hanging open. “I don’t know what you mean,” he tried.
“Cut the shit.”
Remus closed his mouth with a snap, and looked down at where his fingers were worrying the edge of his parchment. “Okay, fine,” he admitted, “Yes, you’re right, I’m in love with Sirius Black.”
“Now was that so hard?” Lily said. Remus glared up at her, his eyebrow raised. She huffed. “Okay, fine, yes, it probably was.”
“I just don’t want to change anything,” Remus said, pulling the sleeves of his cardigan down over his fingers.
“That’s not a very good reason to deny your feelings,” Lily pointed out.
Remus shrugged, tucking his hands under his thighs. “No,” he sighed, “I guess not. But, Lily, it’s...it’s Sirius. He’s so...everything. He’s larger than life, you know, and I love it. Stars, I love it. But he...he could be anything, be with anyone, and I’m just…” he fell quiet.
Lily frowned. She didn’t like the way Remus talked about himself, usually, and this just seemed like an extension of that. “Sirius isn’t some sort of god,” she countered, “He’s a guy, just like you. Maybe you don’t see it clearly, but I promise you, he’s not perfect. And I’d say, if you want him, you’ve got a better chance than anyone else of getting him.”
“I don’t know where you’re getting that,” he muttered, avoiding her eyes.
“You cannot be that stupid,” Lily huffed. “Sirius literally spends all of his free time with you, he never stops bothering you, insisting you sit next to him or let him lay on you. He stares at you across all of the classrooms and he’s so protective it’s almost nauseating.”
“That’s all friend stuff.”
“I don’t see James getting angry at anyone who dares to talk to you, or Peter insisting you scratch his head,” Lily snorted. “That’s not what friends do, honey.”
Remus shrugged again. He really didn’t seem willing to even consider the fact that Sirius might want to be more than friends. Lily shook her head. She really didn’t understand, but Remus had always had issues with his self-image, and she was pretty sure she couldn’t convince him otherwise in a single afternoon. Sirius wasn’t that great, anyway, and Remus was definitely more than equal to him. Lily sighed and twirled her red hair around her finger. This was pretty hopeless, even if she’d gotten him to admit he was in love with Sirius. She hoped that James had had better luck trying to talk sense into Sirius.
The Great Hall was quite possibly the most public place in Hogwarts. Every single student gathered there, three times a day, every day for the entire school year, along with most of the teaching staff. The four House tables were pretty full, as it was lunchtime, and the Gryffindor seventh years were all clustered around the end of their table. Well, almost all of them. James and Sirius were still absent, which didn’t bode well for anyone who wasn’t interested in getting pranked. Remus and Peter were sitting across from Lily, tucking into their cottage pie and gossiping with other members of their house. Mary McDonald had been cornered by some of the Slytherins, and Marlene and Peter had had to rescue her from their hexes. This was complicated by the fact that Peter had a massive crush on Mary, and now was quite flustered by her admiration. Dorcas and Marlene had taken to teasing them, elbowing each other and muttering to Lily every now and then.
Remus was abnormally quiet. Lily was fairly certain that he was still pondering the conversation that they’d had in the library during the pre-lunch free period. She hoped James and Sirius got there soon, if only because she knew they’d be a distraction, at the very least.
Sirius Black ran through the doors of the Hall, his eyes wild as he scanned for something. His wide grey eyes locked on Remus at the end of the table, and he stalked towards him. James trailed behind him, and when Lily caught his eye, he raised his eyebrows so high that his glasses slipped down his nose and made some complicated gesture she didn’t understand. She squinted at him. He waved her off, shaking his head. She was sure she’d figure it out soon enough.
“Remus Lupin!” Sirius shouted as he got close to the table. Remus stared at him.
“Yes?” he asked. Sirius took a deep breath. He seemed to be blushing, Lily noted, and there was definitely fear in his eyes. He clenched his fists and opened his mouth, but no sound came out.
“Are you alright?” Remus asked, standing up and trying to feel Sirius’ forehead for a fever. Sirius jerked back.
“I’MINLOVEWITHYOU,” he shouted, then clapped his hand over his mouth. Remus stared. Sirius stared. The Gryffindor table, and most of the surrounding area, was deathly quiet.
“Pardon?” Remus managed.
“I’m in love with you,” Sirius repeated, more calmly this time. “I’m in love with you, and I think I probably have been for years, but I only just realized it, like, fifteen minutes ago, and I had to tell you, because you know how shit I am at hiding that kind of thing, and you definitely would have noticed, because even though I’m a massive idiot, you’re definitely not, I mean, you’re absolutely brilliant, which is probably part of why I love you, but then, I’ve never been very good at figuring these things out, and I only knew because I got so jealous of that bloody Ravenclaw, and-”
Remus cut him off by grabbing his tie and pulling Sirius down to kiss him. Sirius seemed to collapse into Remus, and tilted his head so he could kiss him better. The Gryffindor table burst into cheers, and Peter even stood up on the bench to cat call. Sirius and Remus broke apart. Sirius was blushing to the tips of his ears and Remus was grinning at him.
“I love you too, you idiot,” Remus said, and Sirius threw his arms around him with a laugh. James wolf whistled his approval. Lily caught his eye. She wasn’t sure how they’d done it, exactly, but by Merlin, it was done. Sirius and Remus were together, and that tension had been resolved. It was a success, in her mind. She extended her hand, palm-up, towards James. He grinned at her, slapping a high five onto her hand with a crack, and pulling her in to kiss her cheek. Lily giggled.
Sirius and Remus were kissing again.