Chapter Text
The Great Hall was abuzz with noise. The start-of-term feast was, in Lily’s opinion, the loudest part of the year, only rivalled by the end-of-year feast, but by the time that rolled around, she probably would’ve forgotten how loud it truly was. Or maybe, she thought as she wrinkled her nose, it was just the Gryffindor table.
“How was your summer, Lily?” Marlene asked, leaning across her to snatch a dinner roll.
“It was good, Marls, nothing too thrilling,” she replied, shrugging nonchalantly.
“Oh really?” Marlene continued, slathering butter on her freshly acquired roll. “Because that’s not what I heard.” She raised her eyebrows and shoved the entire roll in her mouth.
“Ooh, whatcha mean?” Dorcas asked, waggling her eyebrows at Lily while Marlene struggled to chew and swallow.
“Well-” Marlene tried to say, but Mary cut her off.
“Ew, God, Marlene,” she scoffed, “Swallow before you speak, please.”
Marlene rolled her eyes, but obeyed. When her mouth was finally clear, she turned on Lily.
“My mum is friends with Euphemia Potter,” Marlene said, and Lily couldn’t help but blush. She had really, really hoped she could have kept her summer visit to Pottershall quiet, but it seemed she would have no such luck. She groaned, rolling her eyes towards the night-sky ceiling.
“Yes, okay, I admit it. I...I went to visit James over the summer. Just once,” she huffed.
“Oh, is it James now, not Potter?” Mary asked, setting down her cutlery. “How times have changed.”
Dorcas laughed, elbowing Marlene with the grin of a wolf who had just scented fresh blood. “I knew you and Potter made peace last year after that whole thing with the Transfiguration project and all that alone time in the library, but I didn’t think it went that deep,” she chuckled, her dark eyes sparkling with mischief.
Marlene hummed and nodded sagely, shoveling another forkful of potato mash into her mouth. Lily couldn’t help but glance down the table to where James was sitting with Sirius, Remus, and Peter. They were laughing, ribbing each other, and casting smirks over the rest of the Hall. That probably didn’t bode well for a peaceful feast, but Lily would worry about that when she came to it.
“Did you know James is the Head Boy?” Lily asked, pulling her eyes back to her dinner.
“Yes, Lils,” Dorcas scoffed, “You’ve told us. Just more opportunity for you and Potter to spend time alone.” She arched her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.
“Ugh, you’re the worst,” Lily moaned, trying to fight the blush that was working it’s way up to her hairline. But she couldn’t really disagree with Dorcas either, because...well, to be totally honest, she was looking forward to it. She glanced down at the Head Girl badge on her robes.
“Evans!” Sirius yelled, waving his arms wildly over his head.
“What?” she called back, trying to keep a straight face. But Sirius was gesturing wildly for her to come down the table and join them, and his dramatics were always hard to take seriously, despite his name.
Lily dropped into the seat next to Remus, setting her plate down with a thud. “What are you four planning?” she asked.
James turned to her with that mischievous smile she was becoming alarmingly fond of as of late. “You’ll see, oh Lily, most lovely of flowers.”
Lily rolled her eyes. “That doesn’t really ease my mind, you know,” she snorted. James shrugged.
“It probably shouldn’t,” he admitted. “But my lips are sealed,” he said with a wink.
“Ew,” Sirius groaned, pulling a face, “Jamie flirting with an icky girl, yuck.”
Peter snorted. “Not everyone thinks girls are icky, Padfoot,” he drawled, pointing his fork at Sirius. “Just because your flings never work out doesn’t mean all girls are at fault. It could just be you.”
Sirius gasped, pressing an offended hand to his chest. Remus rolled his eyes skyward and sighed. “Here we go,” he muttered.
“How could you, Wormy?” Sirius started, his tone overdramatic and high-pitched. “In all my life, I have never been so betrayed, so offended.”
Sirius continued, but Lily tuned him out. She shook her head and glanced up at James; he was already looking back. He grinned when she made eye contact.
“Ready for Head duties, Lily?” he asked, leaning his cheek on his palm.
“I suppose,” she sighed, “I’m not looking forward to drawing up all those prefect rotations, that’s for sure.”
“It might take a while,” James mused, “But it shouldn’t be too hard; it’s not like we don’t have plenty of precedent to work with.”
“We can start tonight?” Lily asked, taking a bite of her roast.
“Works for me.”
Whatever James would have said next was interrupted by a salvo of cracks, like a whole string of firecrackers going off. Across the Hall, sparks flew and students started laughing as their friends’ hair changed color, bright neons glowing under the candlelight. A golden ribbon unfurled, spelling out WELCOME BACK over the heads of the students. Lily laughed as Sirius’ hair turned bright pink and he gave a long suffering sigh.
“Don’t drink the pumpkin juice,” James advised, taking a sip of his cola. Lily laughed; Sirius dropped his head onto the table.
“Why did,” she asked, waving her hand at Sirius’ hot pink curls.
“Gotta throw off the suspicion,” James explained, flashing his dimples. “No one would ever believe that Pads would do that to himself.”
“You have a point,” Lily admitted. She glanced over the Hall. It was quite amusing, she had to admit. Her gaze landed on the Slytherin table. Sirius’ brother was sitting with his fifth year friends, calmly sipping from his goblet with his usual black hair, althought across from him, Rosier’s hair had gone electric blue. Lily’s gaze slid further up the table, and for a single moment, she met the dark gaze of Severus Snape. His hair was orange, and Lily couldn’t help but smile, feeling a little nasty about it, even as she looked up at the Head Table. Dumbledore, it seemed, was highly amused.
Seventh year was as busy as Lily had worried it would be, and with her Head Girl duties, she had a lot on her plate. That didn’t seem to do anything to dissuade her brain from lingering on James Potter.
James bloody Potter. He was so irritating. She’d known he was, of course, but this was...this was different. He’d toned down the pranking last year and the bullying had stopped entirely after their fifth year, and that was all well and good, that was excellent, but it really did not explain what was happening inside her head right now. James ruffled his hair, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He was sitting across the common room, apparently absorbed in his Charms notes.
Lily frowned. He had the sleeves of his school shirt rolled up, exposing the bronzed skin of his forearms, and the first two buttons were undone, hinting at the sharp definition of collarbones and a Quidditch-toned chest. His hair was shining in the light, reflecting from the dips in his wild curls. It was always so messy, but it looked soft. Lily wondered what it would be like to run her hands through it. Would it be as soft as it looked?
She shook her head, straightening up. These were not the sorts of thoughts she was supposed to be having about James Potter, of all people. Remus glanced up from his seat next to her.
“You alright, Lily?” he asked mildly, his expression open. She sighed.
“Yeah, fine, just...distracted, I guess.”
“Oh really? By what, I wonder?” Remus’ soft smile gained a teasing edge and Lily groaned. She pursed her lips and leaned back in her chair. She really, really did not want to admit that she was distracted by the appeal of James Potter’s physical appearance, and she especially did not want to admit it to Remus. Remus might seem sweet and calm, but he was friends with Sirius Black for a reason.
“Nothing,” Lily grumbled. She glanced over at James again. No, focus. She needed to focus.
The halls were silent and dark at night. It was one of Lily’s favorite parts of being a prefect, if she was totally honest, the freedom to wander the castle. Of all the people she’d patrolled with, James Potter seemed to understand this best. He walked beside her quietly, passing through the bars of moonlight stretched out over the floor, lost in his own thoughts. Lily could understand that. There had been another article in the Daily Prophet about an attack by a suspected terrorist organization that morning, and even if no one would come out and say it, there was a pattern to who they were attacking.
“We graduate this year,” Lily murmured, “And what will I be walking into?”
Next to her, James tensed. Lily knew he was a pureblood, one of the respected old families. Hell, he lived in a manor house with an actual name and his parents were Lord and Lady Potter; that was definitely an old money pureblood thing. But Lily was a muggleborn, and she wasn’t stupid. It was obvious, at least to her, that these so-called Death Eaters were killing people like her. She was already at a disadvantage in the wider Wizarding world thanks to her muggle parentage, but now she was expected to face potential death too, just for her blood status?”
“You’re worried,” James said, breaking her out of her thoughts. “You’re probably right to be.”
“It’s all over the papers,” Lily snorted, “Anyone with half a brain can tell that being muggleborn puts you in danger of being killed by these arseholes.”
“You’re not going to be killed,” James snapped, his usually laid-back expression clouding over. “I won’t let that happen.”
“You think you could stop them?”
“Yes.” James was serious, more serious than she’d ever seen before. “I’m planning on going into Auror training after we graduate. I want it to be my job.”
“That fits,” Lily admitted, starting down the stairs towards the third floor.
“You think so?” James asked, following her. “I would’ve thought...well, that you wouldn’t...wouldn’t think I was serious enough, honestly.”
“Oh, you’ve realized you’re not Sirius?” she joked, throwing a wry smile at him over her shoulder. He squinted at her for a minute before slapping his palm to his forehead.
“Oh Merlin,” he groaned, “That’s horrible, oh, I can’t.” He shook his head. “I guess I walked into that one.”
“You did,” Lily agreed. “But really, James, I think being an Auror would suit you. You’ve certainly got the grades for it, and everyone knows you’re quick with your wand.” She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts. “You’re very...you always stand up to people, when you believe they’re in the wrong.”
“I didn’t think you’d think that way. I thought you saw me as a...as a bully.”
“Honestly, I did. For a while. But after that incident by the lake, after our OWLs, you remember?” Lily paused for James to nod, and when he did, she continued. “You apologized to me. Afterwards, on the train. You promised to stop bullying people for what they were, although you specified that you’d still be standing up to people, of course.” Lily stopped at the bottom of the stairs, turning to face him. The two steps between them increased the already obvious height difference. She had to tilt her head up to look at him. He looked….he looked handsome in the moonlight, staring down at her, a private kind of beautiful that felt a little too intimate for friends. “I didn’t believe you then,” she whispered, “But I do, now. You’ve changed.”
“For the better, I hope?” he asked, trying to lighten the mood.
“Yes,” she said, smiling up at him. He flashed his dimples at her, his hazel eyes bright under his wild mop of hair. Her heart fluttered in her chest and for a moment, she couldn’t breathe. There was a pressure in her chest, swelling up, like water held behind a dam. “Right, well, um,” she stammered, “We’d better keep going.”
Sirius Black was alarmingly good at Arithmancy. He was good in other classes, too, of course, but the Arithmancy was the most terrifying. It was complicated and precise and reminded Lily horribly of her primary school maths classes, and furthermore, it could be used to create spells. Researching, learning new spells was one thing, but inventing your own was another matter entirely. The thought of Sirius Black unleashing some sort of ungodly invention on the unsuspecting students of Hogwarts lingered in Lily’s mind as she studied Sirius and his intense expression. He was hunched over a sheaf of parchment at a table in a quiet corner of the library, which was an odd enough sight that she paused on her way back to the Potions section.
“What’ve you got there, Black?” she asked, wandering over.
“Now, now, Evans,” he tutted, setting down his quill, “That would be telling.” He grinned at her, and she rolled her eyes.
“Actually,” she decided, “I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know.”
“You’ll find out soon, I can tell you that,” Sirius promised, mischief in his grey eyes.
“Excellent,” Lily huffed, rolling her eyes. She was sure she would find out, along with the rest of the school, when some new prank went off. Sirius was brilliant with invention, but when added to Remus’ ability to appropriate spells he’d found, Peter’s skill with manipulating people, and James’ quick-thinking duelling style and ingenious strategies, well. They were alarming, she’d given them that. She shook her head and tried to pretend she wasn’t a little impressed.
“Hey,” she said suddenly, “Do you mind if I join you?” She asked on an impulse, but Sirius didn’t seem to mind, and let her dump her books on the table next to him.
Lily pulled out her Charms homework, setting out her ink and quill and her reference books. She tried to settle into her essay on the theory behind the Patronus Charm, but it kept slipping away from her. Her mind wandered to James Potter, as it so often did these days. He had been really sweet since they came back to Hogwarts, but...but something was bothering her. She pursed her lips. They’d been back for almost a month now, and James Potter had yet to ask her out. Not even once. He’d asked her out at least once every fortnight since they were thirteen, but now? Nothing. She frowned. It wasn’t like she wanted him to ask her out, or anything; it was just different. Right? She just wasn’t used to it. She wanted to know why.
“Hey, Black,” she piped up, brushing the end of her quill against her chin. “Why hasn’t James asked me out recently?”
Sirius stared at her with those big silver eyes, tilting his head to the side like a curious dog. “Uh…” he started, “Do you want him to?”
“What? No,” Lily protested, “No way. It’s just different, that’s all. It’s weird.” She sat back and crossed her arms.
“Uh huh. Sure.” Sirius was giving her a very odd look, his dark eyebrows raised incredulously.
“I’m serious,” she said.
“No,” Sirius grinned, “But I am.”
“Ugh, stop,” Lily groaned. “That joke is so old, jeez.”
Sirius shrugged, but he didn’t bring it up again, and neither did Lily. She probably shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place, really, as it had definitely given Sirius the wrong idea. She could only hope that he wouldn’t say anything to James.
“I heard you asked Sirius why James hadn’t asked you out this year,” Remus mentioned, casual as anything, while he and Lily browsed the chocolate selection at Honeydukes. It was the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year, and Lily really did not need this right now.
“That’s ridiculous,” she scoffed.
“It is,” Remus agreed, giving her a sidelong look with those warm green-gold eyes. He wasn’t teasing her, not really, but there was still something playful in his expression. “I thought you didn’t like James.”
“I mean, I didn’t, for a while there.”
Remus snorted, but let her continue anyway.
“I actually think he’s quite nice, these days,” Lily said, bending over to examine the display of filled chocolates. “He’s deflated that massive head of his, at least somewhat. He’s almost tolerable.” She grinned up at Remus, who shook his head.
“A high compliment, coming from Lily Evans,” he teased. She scoffed, picking out a bar of chocolate-covered honeycomb and straightening up.
“I do sort of wonder, though,” she admitted.
“About why he has let up in his pursuit?” Remus asked. Lily nodded. “I didn’t think you liked it,” he continued, “And more importantly, James didn’t think you liked it.”
“I don’t,” Lily was quick to defend, “It’s just different, is all.”
Remus hummed, but didn’t comment. He picked out three bars of solid milk chocolate for himself and sighed.
“I wouldn’t worry about it too much,” he said finally. Lily sighed, but agreed.
Lily and Remus made their way out onto the High Street of Hogsmeade. Marlene and Dorcas had made her promise to meet them in the Three Broomsticks, so she bade goodbye to Remus and made her way to the pub. Her friends were sitting at a table near the back, their heads bent together, Dorcas’ tight black curls almost tangled with Marlene’s pin-straight blonde hair.
“Hey girls,” Lily said as she approached, and Dorcas and Marlene sprang apart so quickly that Marlene almost fell out of the booth. Lily raised an eyebrow; there was something going on there, even if neither of her friends would admit it. She took a seat opposite them.
“Hey, Lily, how’re you?” Marlene coughed. Lily rolled her eyes.
“Fine, thanks, got my chocolate supply stocked back up.”
“Always important,” Dorcas laughed. “Wouldn’t want a Lily Evans sans chocolate, now would we? Your temper’s hot enough as it is, I’m afraid.”
“Oh, hush,” Lily huffed, “I’m not that bad.”
Dorcas and Marlene wore matching looks of disbelief. Lily scoffed. The faithlessness of friends, honestly.
James Potter threw open the door to the Three Broomsticks, followed by a boisterous Sirius Black and the slightly more calm Remus and Peter. They made a beeline to the bar, jostling each other as they ordered their drinks. James got extra cream on his butterbeer, and chocolate shavings, she noted. She felt the corners of her mouth quirk up unwillingly. He took a sip straight away, leaving a moustache of cream on his top lip.
“Merlin,” Marlene laughed. “You, Lily Evans, have got it bad.”
“Hmm?” Lily managed, pulling her gaze away from James. She glanced between her friends. “What? No, no.” She shook her head, shaking loose her sheets of red hair. She huffed out a breath, crossing her arms and pointedly staring at the ceiling. That feeling in her chest shifted, a river pushing at a dam that would not give. “I do not have a crush on James Potter.”