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Adrien never should have left his room that night.
He was perfectly content with just eating in his room, with his only company being Plagg. His father wasn’t even supposed to be home, so there was no reason for him to eat anywhere else.
His bodyguard had left to visit his parents and Natalie was supposed to be with his father, doing whatever his father was supposed to be doing.
Adrien felt alone though. The large, empty house seemed to get colder with every passing second that Adrien was left alone. He wished his mother was there. Whenever his father was busy in the past his mother would always eat with them and watch old movies together.
His used to be It’s A White Christmas, even though it was rarely ever Christmas when they watched it. Now, he couldn’t even get passed the first few seconds without turning it off. It reminded him too much of her.
The moonless sky didn’t do anything to help ease Adrien’s loneliness. Instead, it made him feel even more alone as he found it hard to see the buildings that he could usually see outside his window.
He wished Ladybug was here. Then he could make some dumb pun and she would give him an annoyed look and he would feel less lonely. But no, she was at her home, wherever that was, and was doing whatever she did on Sunday nights. She was probably eating dinner with her family right now, possibly sneaking her Kwami food underneath the table, like Adrien did for Plagg whenever he did eat with his father.
Maybe Ladybug was even hanging out with her friends, ones who actually had the chance to get to know the girl underneath the mask.
Adrien knew why he couldn’t know her identity. If either of them were to ever get akumatized it would put everything and everyone at risk. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt, though.
When she became the new guardian, she had confessed to Chat Noir that she was thinking about the idea of revealing who they were to each other. Chat was the one who talked her out of it. It had been months since he had done that, and now he was constantly beating himself up about it.
“I’m hungry,” Plagg complained, a loud rumbling sound coming from his chest to prove his point.
“Just get some cheese from the cabinets,” Adrien told his Kwami, trying to focus on the school work Ms. Bustier had assigned them to do over the weekend.
“But I ate it all!” Plagg said in agony. “Can we just go down to the kitchen to grab something? Nobody’s home anyways!”
Adrien sighed and looked at his phone. It was only 10:00pm, but he himself hadn’t actually eaten anything either. “We have to be quick. I need to get this schoolwork done!”
Plagg nodded, “we’ll be in and out before you know it!”
Adrien shut his book and got up from his desk, heading for his door. The hallways weren’t any warmer than his room was. In fact, it was probably much colder. His father never really paid much attention to how cold or warm the mansion was, and it annoyed Adrien to no end.
“I’ve been thinking,” Plagg started. “Maybe it’s time for me to try a different type of cheese. How does mozzarella sound?”
“It sounds like I’ll forever hate the idea of cheese,” Adrien said. “Why can’t you eat other stuff, like fruit or sweets?”
Plagg rolled his tiny green eyes. “That’s more of Sugarcubes thing. I’ve never been a fan of that stuff.”
While Adrien did his best to hide it, he couldn’t stop the small smile from forming on his face. As much as he complained about Plagg, he had to admit, he honestly didn’t know what he’d do without the cheese loving Kwami. It was safe to say Plagg’s had the largest impact on Adrien being able to come out of his shell more within the past year. It also helped that, since Plagg was well over a million years old, he could easily help Adrien with his homework.
“Well I wish—” a quiet crash came from his fathers office causing Adrien and Plagg to stop dead in their tracks. “Did you hear that?”
Plagg let out a soft whine. “All I wanted was cheese!”
“We need to check it out! Plagg, claws—”
“Adrien wait!” Plagg said before Adrien could finish his sentence. “We don’t know who that is! For all we know, Gorilla could be back and playing with his toys in there! It would be suspicious if Chat Noir just jumped in there. If we need to transform we can, but we need to see who it is first.”
Adrien took a second to consider what Plagg had said and decided he was right. “We’ll get you your cheese right after this, Plagg! I swear!”
Plagg just let out a low grumble and floated towards the office door. Adrien watched as the Kwami disappeared through the wall, and then not a second later came rushing back out, crashing into Adrien’s chest.
“Well? What’d you see?” Adrien asked his Kwami urgently. “Is it Gorilla after all?”
“Adrien,” Plagg said. “We should go back up to your room!”
“What? Why?” Plagg, what’d you see?”
“Look kid, your father—”
“My fathers back?” Adrien said excitedly. Sure, he was slightly disappointed his father hadn’t bothered to tell him he’d be home tonight, but at least Adrien could say goodnight to him. Maybe if his father hadn’t already eaten, they could eat together!”
“Kid, wait!” Plagg called, but it was too late. Adrien was quietly opening the door to his fathers office, figuring that if he moved quietly enough his father would appreciate it and eat with him. Plagg watched as the human froze in his tracks, his head barely even peaking in.
Plagg already knew Adrien had seen what he had seen only a few seconds ago. Nooroo, the butterfly Kwami, was in the Agreste mansion, and he was talking with Gabriel Agreste.
Adrien moved out of the room before his father would see him and ran back up to his room. Plagg didn’t even care about the cheese anymore. He was worried about his human.
“Adrien?” Plagg said, following him into his dark, cold room. He saw him sitting up against his bed, shaking.
“It’s him,” Adrien whispered. “Ladybug suspected him and I didn’t want to believe her because he’s my father, but she was right! It’s been him all along!”
“You couldn’t have known,” Plagg told him. “I’ve known Nooroo since the dinosaurs and even I couldn’t tell he was here. You can’t blame yourself, kid.”
The quietness in the room seemed to be noisier than any lunchroom Plagg had ever been in.
“It all makes so much sense,” Adrien said at last. “Why he never leaves, why I’ve never been akumatized. Oh my god, do you think the whole reason he mainly attacks my school is because I go there?”
Plagg laid down on Adrien’s shoulder. He didn’t know what he could say. The chances of Hawkmoth targeting Adrien’s school because his son went there was honestly very likely.
“He tried to kill me,” Adrien said. “Multiple times! And for a few weeks he was acting weird around, asking me all those weird questions. Do you think he suspected me? Do you think he suspected me and tried to kill me even then?”
Plagg didn’t say anything, he just cuddled closer to Adrien, trying to give him some kind of comfort. Comforting had never been his thing. Tikki was much better at it if Plagg was being honest. The past Ladybugs always seemed to put so much more pressure on themselves than the past Chat Noirs had, so Plagg supposed Tikki had to be better at it than him.
“Maybe you should get some rest,” Plagg said. “Your homework can wait.”
Adrien shook his head. “I— I need to focus on something else right now. It’ll only take a bit longer.”
Plagg felt Adrien move him from his shoulder onto his bed and watched as Adrien moved back to his desk, doing his best not to cry. There was nobody there to “judge” Adrien for crying, but Adrien still seemed like he couldn’t grasp the thought that he could cry about this.
Adrien never did end up getting any sleep that night.
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He was exhausted when Gorilla came to pick him up in order to take him to school. He didn’t even bother with breakfast. Why should breakfast matter when he had so many more important things to figure out, such as figuring out where he was going to live. After all, he couldn’t live in his mansions anymore once he told Ladybug and his father was arrested.
That led to another thing he had to figure out. How he was supposed to tell Ladybug. Telling her will definitely need to result in her also knowing his identity, and the very thought of that made his heart pound even faster than it already was. How would she feel about working with the son of the man who had been trying to kill them for the past year?
Adrien could feel Plagg sitting in his hoodies pocket. He managed to get Plagg a piece of cheese from the kitchen before he left, but every step he took he was worried he might run into his father, who still hadn’t actually bothered to tell Adrien he was home.
Adrien was beginning to realize that all those times his father had “left for business” were most likely just him hiding out in his secret lair.
Gorilla let out a low grunt to tell Adrien they were at school now. Adrien eyes the man with confusion. Did he know what his father was up to? Adrien had no doubt that Natalie knew, because now that he thought about it she actually looked a lot like Myura, but Gorilla had been the closest thing to a father Adrien had ever had. If he found out Gorilla was involved in this he wasn’t sure he’d be able to last.
Adrien stepped out of the car and waved goodbye to Gorilla. He couldn’t think like that. He had to believe the man was innocent because if he didn’t he would never be able to focus on getting his father arrested.
His classmates walked in groups up to Ms. Bustier’s class, all talking about what they had done for the weekend. Adrien overheard Rose and Juleka telling Nathaniel and Marc about a nice park that was pretty empty when they had gone.
“Hey Adrien,” a soft voice said. “How was your weekend?”
Adrien tried to smile at Marinette. “It was good. My dad was out of town, so I had the house to myself.”
Marinette frowned. “You were all alone? You know you could have come to my house if you wanted to.”
Adrien nodded, “yeah, I know, I was just pretty busy catching up on schoolwork.”
Marinette hummed. “Well I was with Alya and Nino, third-wheeling all weekend. I don’t even know why they invited me! All we did was go to Alya’s place and watch movies, and they were cuddling the whole time!”
Adrien wanted to laugh. He could easily imagine Marinette just sitting there trying to enjoy a movie while her two best friends were cuddling together on the couch. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it.
“Are you okay?” Marinette asked. “You seem off today.”
Adrien just shrugged as he took his seat. She could tell? What if everybody could tell? Nobody would ever want to be his friend after they learned his father was a terrorist! “Fine,” he lied. “Just tired.”
Marinette looked at him suspiciously, but eventually seemed to let it go, and took her own seat behind him.
Alya and Nino walked in just a few seconds before the bell rang, and they also seemed to notice that something was off with Adrien.
Adrien could hear Alya whisper something to Marinette, but Marinette’s response never came, so he just assumed she had shrugged.
“Dude, are you sick? You look pale,” Nino commented quietly as Ms. Bustier began her lesson.
Was he really that obvious. “I didn’t get enough sleep last night, that’s all.”
Nino eyed Adrien. “Maybe you should go home, dude. I’m sure your father would understand.”
Adrien closed his eyes at the mention of his father. Not right now. He was in the middle of class. He could not freak out now. Everybody would judge him. Nobody would forgive him. He’d be all alone.
Ms. Bustier was still talking, but Adrien couldn’t make out any of her words. Adrien tried to focus on her voice and to hear what she was saying. He had to understand what she was saying and suppress the oncoming dizziness he was feeling, but that only made his head start to heart.
“Ms. Bustier, can I go to the bathroom? I’ll be right back!” Adrien asked all of a sudden, interrupting his teacher. Ms. Bustier seemed a bit surprised by his slight outburst at first, but eventually she nodded. Adrien shot up and walked out of the class to the bathroom.
He kept repeating “don’t run” inside his head. If he ran it would make it obvious something was wrong with him then they might make him go home, where he father was.
The minute he was in the bathroom Adrien ran over to the sink and tried splashing water on his face to snap himself out of it, but it wasn’t working.
“Kid, you need to calm down,” Plagg said worriedly.
But he couldn’t. He couldn’t calm down. His back hit the bathroom wall and before he knew it he was on the floor with tears streaming down his face. He could barely breath and he was gasping for breath. He had worked so hard to be nice to people and make friends within the past year, despite Chloe having previously been his only friend, and now he would have to ruin that. Why did it have to be him that this happened to?
“Kiddo?” Plagg’s voice was muffled in Adrien's ears until he couldn’t hear anything the black Kwami was saying. He didn’t even notice when Plagg had left the bathroom.
Adrien didn’t know that he had been left alone in the bathroom, and if he had he doubted he would’ve been able to bring himself to care.
Everything was going wrong. He already lost his mother, now he was going to lose his father and Natalie too.
“—rien?”
Adrien tried to focus his eyes on the person who was now sitting next to him. They had blue hair and bright blue eyes, but he couldn’t bring out any noticeable characteristics from their face.
“How’d this happen? Was he akumatized?” The person's voice sounded confident, yet at the same time terrified.
“Being akumatized doesn’t do this to a person,” Plagg’s voice said.
“He’s been off all morning,” the person muttered. “Plagg what happened to Adrien?”
Adrien let out a low sob and couldn’t catch his breath.
“Adrien?” The person said softly. “Adrien, can you hear me? I want you to focus on me, okay? Just focus.”
Adrien did his best to obey the voice. He shut his eyes then reopened them, trying to focus on the person sitting next to him. Eventually he was able to make out Marinette’s face.
His eyes kept finding new parts of her face to focus on. First her dark blue hair, then her bright blue eyes. Finally, he was able to breath again.
“Mari?” Adrien said, his voice slightly slurring.
Marinette seemed to let out a breath. “Hey, Adrien,” she said, speaking in a calming voice that just made Adrien want to close his eyes and go to sleep.
“What’re you doing here? You should be in class?” He said, confused. Why had she left.
Marinette seemed to hesitate before speaking. “Plagg came to get me.”
Adrien furrowed his eyebrows. Why would Plagg go get Marinette why he was panicking because he just found out Hawkmoths identity. Now she’s going to know who he is! Ladybug would never forgive him for this!
“Oh my god,” Adrien said, losing his breath again. “She’s going to kill e. She’s going to make me give it up. I can’t. I can’t do it.”
“Adrien,” Marinette said, starting to panic again at the sight of her crush going into another panic attack. “Adrien, please focus on my voice. Adrien?”
Adrien shook his head. Ladybug always preached about the importance of secret identities, how would she feel when she found out a girl from Adrien’s class now knew who he was? “She’ll hate me,” he breathed out.
“Who’s going to hate you? Adrien, nobodies going to hate you, I promise, but I need to know what’s going on,” Marinette pleaded.
“Ladybug,” Adrien confessed. “She’s going to hate me! She’ll never forgive me!”
Marinette looked confused for a split second before realization dawned on her. “Adrien, she won’t hate you. I promise, okay?”
Adrien managed to focus on her again. “How do you know?”
Marinette gave him a weak smile. “I am Ladybug, Chaton.”
Adrien would’ve laughed if he hadn’t been in his current state. Not because he couldn’t imagine her being Ladybug, but because he had imagined her being Ladybug in the last. Multiple times, actually.
“Our secret—”
Marinette held his hand comfortingly, “don’t matter right now. Plagg just had to pull me out of class because you were having a panic attack in the bathroom. I think that making sure you’re okay is more important than our identities, don’t you?” When Adrien didn’t respond, she sighed. “Adrien, what happened? I know you don’t want to talk about it, but the way Plagg made it sound like life and death. You can take your time, but I need to know.”
“My father,” Adrien started, then shut his mouth. God, he was such a coward. He couldn’t even tell Marinette about why he was like this.
Marinette squeezed his hand. “It’s okay if he figured it out. I understand how hard it is to keep this from our parents, especially one as strict as yours.”
Plagg let out a low growl behind Marinette, causing her to jump slightly.
“He didn’t find out,” Adrien murmured. “I did.” Marinette frowned, but waited for him to continue. “It’s him, Mari. He’s Hawkmoth.”
His eyes were closed again, but he could feel Marinette stiffen and he could hear the sharp intake of breath. He waited for her to let go of his hand and leave him in the bathroom alone, but that moment never came. Instead, he could feel himself being moved until he could find himself in a position on Marinette’s lap that he often laid in on patrol.
“Oh, Chaton,” She murmured, combing her fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
What am I gonna do?” Adrien whispered. “We have to arrest him, but I don’t want him to know I reported him. I already lost my mom, Mari, I can’t lose him too. I can’t go back there either. I can’t see him again so soon.”
“I know, Chaton,” she said. “What if you stayed with me while we figured this whole thing out? I’m sure my parents wouldn’t mind.”
Adrien sniffled, and soon he found two more things buried in his chest. Both Tikki and Plagg were there, trying to give him as much comfort as possible.
“Are you sure?” Adrien asked. “My father is a terrorist. I don’t— I don’t deserve to stay with you.”
Marinette looked down on the blonde boy. “Was it you who akumatized all those people?”
“No but—”
“Was it you who decided to steal a miraculous and use it for your own gain?”
“No,” Adrien said quietly.
“Adrien,” Marinette said softly. “None of this is your fault.”
“She’s right, Adrien,” Tikki said out of nowhere. “I don’t know you as well as Marinette and Plagg do, but you seem like the nicest boy ever! And, in my opinion, one of the best Chat Noirs. You’ve done wonderfully at everything, including making Plagg more tolerable!”
“I told you,” Plagg said.
“We can go to my place right now, if you want,” Marinette offered.
“What about school? We’ve already missed so much!”
Marinette removed Adrien from her lap, and started to pull him up with her. “We can just help each other with makeup work. You’re more important to me, Chaton. You always will be.”
Adrien gave Marinette a small, teary smile as she led them out of the bathroom.
“Everything will be okay, Adrien,” Marinette whispered as they walked towards the school doors. “I promise.”