Chapter Text
phishphukker named the group chat: God Save the Prom Queen (Eret)
phishphukker: lads,
Prom Queen: :0
Prom Queen: does that make niki and ranboo the prince and princess?
monochrome man: I CALL PRINCESS
strawberry SHORTcake: YAY I GET TO BE PRINCE!
Currently On All Fours: there is no such thing as a prom prince or princess
Honkity: any askers?
Currently On All Fours: FUCK YOU
where: language!
Not Illiterate: What even is this group chat and why am I part of it?
phishphukker: i just realized that we have a rather large friend group and i wanted to make sure we can all communicate to each other :)
ALIVE?: okay
ALIVE?: but what does my name insinuate
phishphukker: its just a wonder that you're still kicking
ALIVE?: grounded
monochrome man: I BOUGHT US CROWNS
strawberry SHORTcake: :D
Prom Queen: :D
Gaot: ranboo my beloved
monochrome man: how expensive is the thing you want me to buy?
Currently On All Fours: how-
Gaot: only fifteen dolar :)
monochrome: check the amount of zeroes again, I refuse to believe you want something that cheap
Gaot: one hundre dand fifteen dolar
monochrome: sigh
Prom Queen: what even is it that you want, Tubbo?
Gaot: BEE PLUSH
ALIVE?: YOU HAVE SO MANY OF THOSE
Gaot: non ono no
Gaot: not enoguh
SPOILED MUFFIN: nrever jenrough
where: "Never enough"-Skeppy
Honkity: bad!!
where: hi Quackity :D
Honkity: ew nevermind get away from me
where: D:
Gaot: thank you sjeppt for being able to sympathisze
SPOILED MUFFIN: ofcv
what: huh
who: you should have said what
what: and you should have said who
who: fuck
where: language-
Not Illiterate: I can tell that 'Who' is Dream because of his number but who 'What'?
who: who isn't what im who
what: yeah and im what.
when: when were you what
monochrome: I bought the bee, Tubbo.
Gaot: this is why we are so incredibly in love
monochrome: that just isn't true.
Gaot: are you flerting with me?
monochrome: what-
Gaot: DEFFO FLERTING
monochrome: you make me want to cry some times, Tubbo Underscore.
Not Illiterate: Flirting*
Gaot: FUCK
where: language
Guinness: Quackity.
Honkity: that's Big Q to you, sir.
Guinness. Quackity.
Honkity: yeah
Guinness: drugs.
Honkity: COUNT ME IN
phishphukker: DAD CAN I GO PLAY WITH THE ADDICTS NEXT DOOR??
ALIVE?: TF- NO-
phishphukker: bye dad, Ill be with schlatt and big q :D
Not Illiterate: We never did see Wilbur Soot again.
Currently On All Fours: techono I gaev you yoye sword back btw
cycle: that typing...
Currently On All Fours: ik its so imprwssive right
cycle: absolutely
Not Illiterate changed Currently On All Fours's name to rackoun
rackoun: ???
Not Illiterate: It's just 'Raccoon' spelled badly.
Not Illiterate: I did not give you permission to use the Orphan Obliterator, you theif.
Prom Queen: YOUR SWORD IS CALLED THE ORPHAN OBLITERATOR?
rackoun: FUCK YOU BITCH I CAN DO WHAT I WANR
when: WE'RE MISSING A W
who: who?
what: what W?
where: O.O
how: well i'm an H so I can't really help you guys out here
who: shit wait who is who
when: you're yourslef??
who: np- I mean- in general.
where: I'm bad!
when: Sap Nap
who: george
how: Ant
Who: okay and I'm Dream. we just don't have another W
when: wb Karl?
monsir: I would love to but my name is too funne
Gaot: RANBOO
Gaot: MY BELOVED
monochrome: tubbo
Gaot: I BOUGHT RING POPS WITH SHCLATTS MONEY
rackoun: WHO'S THE FUCKIN THEIF NOW, TECHNO
Guinness: you what-
monochrome: and?
Gaot: WE CAN FINALLY GET MARRIED
monochrome: TUBBO-
Gaot: wait who proposed again
Not Illiterate: You're supposed to propose AFTER one of you get a ring??
Gaot: a coin flip works just ad well
monochrome: it doesn't but apparently I proposed
Gaot: okay come over then so you can give me a ring pop
monochrome: Mr. Minecraft, am I allowed to come over?
ALIVE?: sure
ALIVE?: I kinda of want to see the so called proposal play out
phishphukker: oml my baby not brother and my twin's kid are getting marry
Not Illiterate: One, we are not twins. Two, Ranboo is not my child, just a student. Three, married*.
phishphukker: whore
Not Illiterate: Unnecessary.
rackoun: ARE WE SWEARING NOW?
where: NO!!!
rackoun: FUCK BITCH PUSSY WHORE ASS SHIT PISS
where: LANGUAGE LANGUAGE LANGUAG LANGUAGE LANGUAGE LANGUAGE LANGUAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! D:<
monochrome: reading all of those language's makes me feel like it isn't even a word.
monochrome: also I'm here Tubbo.
Gaot: :D
phishphukker: I'll record it.
Phil, Tommy, and Techno were all sat around the kitchen Table, Wilbur stood at the entrance with his phone recording the two boys standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. Tubbo handed Ranboo a green ring pop, the taller boy then getting on one knee and handing it to Tubbo. "Tubbo underscore, I am proposing to you for the third time this month, and I wouldn't be surprised if this was not the last time this happens. But blah blah, beloved, blah blah, just take the candy." Tubbo took the ring pop, so slowly that it was almost painful, before squinting at Ranboo.
"I want a divorce." He said, his voice sounding as serious as a man who is actually divorcing his partner. For the extra flare, Tubbo also smacks Ranboo over the back of the head. "God," Ranboo says, tiredly. "God forgive me for what I'm boutta do-" The video cuts there.
Prom Queen: wait what happens next??
phishphukker: we have all agreed not to speak of it
ALIVE?: it is not to be uttered ever again.
Guinness: Tommy, I'll pay you fifty bucks if you tell me what happened.
reckoun: I dare not say it.
Guinness: holy shit.
Gaot: I'm traumatizsed D:
monochrome: and I am not sorry.
Not Illiterate: That is just so brutal.
who: so I'm guessing that 'relationship' is over?
Gaot: nope!
monochrome: no, we're getting married again.
when: wtf