Chapter Text
Ever since mom came back from the hospital with Shouto, dad’s been acting a bit weird. Touya couldn’t explain it, but he knew it was there. It was something in the way he stood and the permanent tension of his shoulders. It was in the warry looks he gave his little brother, now and then, before shaking his head until his expression turned normal once again.
It was in the slight tremors of his hands and the way he sometimes had to ask him to repeat something he had said, twice.
When Shouto was born, Enji had thought of him as a gift but now, after two years, it felt more like a punishment. Like a test.
He had the perfect son right there. He knew it. He knew Shouto had the potential of becoming the best hero in history. But he also knew what Rei would think.
Training Shouto could mean she’d stop trusting him. It would mean Touya would resent him for saying and doing opposite things. But they were too blind to see. Shouto… he could also become the embodiment of his legacy.
He had been resigned to never being able to have the kid he was looking for, and he was starting to look for other ways to exceed All Might. But now that he had one more chance, the idea of abandoning his dream felt more bitter than anything else. It made his blood boil with anger and despair. He was so close. He could almost taste victory!
Rei would understand. He just- he just needed to explain her… Touya was already busy with school and his private classes and spending time with his siblings, he wouldn’t mind. And Rei… she needed to understand how important this was for him.
But, then again, how could she? Her family was mediocre. Sure, they were a little power hungry. Hungry enough to give away their daughter as soon as he offered a considerable dowry. But greed wasn’t the same. No, Enji’s purpose was more noble, more important. How could she understand? Her intellect was too little, her ambitions too small. She was the kind of person who looked down and let things happen to her. And Enji… wasn’t he turning into that kind of person as well?
Weak.
She was making him weak, second guess himself. He had Shouto right there and she was the only thing stopping him.
Why was she stopping him? It didn’t make any sense.
He’d train Shouto, he decided, closing his fists. He would train him and make a hero out of him and then, when he was old enough, he’d be prepared. He’d be strong and smart, and he’d be ready to defeat any villain who crossed his way.
And then, the world would thank him for raising the best hero in the world. They would talk about him with the same respect and reverence people used when they talked about All Might’s mother. But, this time, they’d respect him even more, they would praise him even more, because it’d be thanks to him that Shouto would become the perfect hero.
But, to achieve that, he needed to get to work right away.
It started small, so Rei didn’t notice it right away. Simple concerns every parent had. Maybe that should’ve been a good enough red flag, considering Enji wasn’t like this with any of the others. But then again, he was changing his ways. He was trying to be a better father. So, at first, Rei didn’t notice that something was going on.
Whenever he said Shouto needed to sleep properly or eat healthy… it seemed normal to her. She was happy, even, to see him so involved in his son’s development. Touya was a premature boy, so she thought Enji was a little scared that something could happen. It was sweet, even, whenever he got up in the middle of the night to keep an eye on him, now and then.
By the time Enji started to spend more time with Shouto, she didn’t realize he had an ulterior motive. After all, he used to spend a lot of time with Touya as well, taking him to different classes and workshops. Shouto was barely able to walk and talk a few words, but it was never too early to get involved in your kid’s development. But Rei didn’t know that was exactly what Enji had in mind: to get involved.
Now and then, he took Shouto with him. She never protested, of course. She had to look after three other kids, after all and it wasn’t like she couldn’t trust her own husband with their son.
Specially with Shouto. Unlike the others, Shouto hadn’t been born with a purpose. They had conceived him one night in which they let themselves get carried away. It had been sweet and gentle and lovely. Perhaps that was the reason why Enji liked spending time with him. If she was honest, Rei liked Shouto a little bit more than the others just because he was conceived out of love instead of duty. It was a terrible thing to think, that was why she’d never dare to say it out loud, but the feeling was still there, inside her heart.
But Enji started to change in other ways, as well and, when she finally noticed, it was already too late.
It was one thing to deal with his tense silences, with the way he seemed lost in thought, Rei could handle that.
But then, the arguing started.
Touya was expecting it. From the very first day, he knew this would happen. He didn’t want to believe it, but he knew.
Still, it didn’t make it any less shocking. It didn’t make it any less horrifying.
They were playing outside, the four of them. The funny thing about two-year-old kids was that they were like little parrots. Like puppies who could repeat anything you said to them. Touya didn’t play too much with Natsuo when he was this age, but Shouto followed him around like a little duck.
He looked up at him and said things like: “Tou-nii!” and raised both of his arms. “Up!” he said and smiled at him.
Reluctantly, Touya did as the baby asked, before putting him down a few steps away.
Right now, they were kicking a ball between the four of them, laughing whenever Shouto kicked too hard and fell on his ass, chuckling.
Soon enough, they were chasing each other. Everyone in Touya’s class liked to play heroes and, naturally, he had brough the game home. One of them pretended to be the villain and the others chased after him.
It was a fun a game and they never got tired of it. In class, everyone was always talking about their future hero name, about their costume, about their imaginary sidekicks. Touya knew it’d be difficult to become a hero with a defective quirk like his. Sometimes, it was almost unbearable to listen to them talk about it, but he could still remember his dad’s words. He could remember he could be a hero in other ways… in better ways, and then the pain- it didn’t go away, but it helped a little bit.
He didn’t like playing heroes at school, because those kids were a remainder of what he couldn’t be. They were a reminder of a broken dream. But here, at home? Fuyumi and Natsuo couldn’t be heroes, either and Shouto was just a dumb baby. Here, they looked up to him and followed him around and copied him. Here, Touya could say: “I’m the hero” and they would all nod and call him a hero.
But, as the oldest, he needed to give them a chance, as well. That was why it was Touya’s time to be the villain as Fuyumi and Natsu held hands with Shouto, helping him jump before he could keep running towards him.
“Catch nii-san! Fua! Fua!” Shouto chanted, throwing his little fists in the air. And that’s when it happened.
From his tiny fists, simultaneously, a flame and some pieces of ice flew up in the air. And Touya knew.
As Fuyumi rushed inside, calling for their mother. As Natsuo knelt to touch the ice left on the grass. As he fell on his back, the same way Shouto had done when he kicked the ball, Touya knew this was the end of it.
Touya knew Shouto was finally going to replace him.
Shouto was sweet but it was very hard to love him. It wasn’t like he made it particularly difficult by breaking his things or being too loud. Touya wished it was that simple. Broken things could be replaced. But breaking their home? That was something he couldn’t forgive.
Ever since his parents learnt about Shouto’s quirk, everything had changed. Everything was quiet, tense, even if anyone else didn’t seem to notice. Even if Shouto, himself didn’t notice what his presence meant.
Everything he ever wanted, everything he ever wished for, Shouto had. Just looking at the little kid made his heart ache and his blood boil.
He had tried so hard. But he’d need to die and be born again to succeed. What a sick joke. To work so hard for something, for so long, just to give it up and try to move on, try your best to overcome your flaws… only to have them rubbed on your face every day.
On the table, at breakfast, when Shouto accidentally froze the spoon he was holding.
In the middle of the day, when fire flew from his left side as he was having a tantrum and leaving him unharmed.
It was like he was mocking him.
But that was not the worst.
The worst was that their dad could see it, too.
There were bags under his eyes. Touya couldn’t remember the last time he was able to sleep properly. A part of him wanted to run back into the mountain, to his old spot, to train on his own, but that wouldn’t fix anything, would it? He had tried that already. Training, trying to be better never made his dad see him.
The idea had circled around his head for weeks and, no matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t see any other answer.
He had to eliminate Shouto. Once he was gone, once he was out of the way, everything would go back to normal. Everything could still be fine. If Shouto was gone, then dad would look at him once more. He’d take him on their little trips, and he’d smile again.
So, that night, Touya waited until everyone was asleep before leaving his room.
Shouto had little control over his quirk. Babies hurt themselves with their quirks all the time, his first aid teacher had told him so. It was very rare to be killed in an accident caused by their own quirks, but it was possible. If baby Shouto woke up as a pile of ashes… well, that was just how things were. Natural selection and all that.
Sure, maybe mom would cry for a while, but it was for the best. Sometimes a hero had to make sacrifices for the greater good. A little evil that brought a greater good wasn’t as bad, once you put it in perspective.
The room was dark, but Touya could see enough. The crib was in the middle of the room and, inside it, rested Todoroki Shouto: quiet and peaceful. Unsuspecting.
It would be easy. Touya would make it quick, too. Almost painless. He wasn’t cruel enough to rejoice in his suffering.
Raising his hand, Touya took a deep breath. Shouto was still asleep and, when Touya used his fire, it illuminated the tiny face. Small. The skin so soft, cheeks filled with baby fat. So delicate. So frail.
Touya took another deep breath. He could do this. It was easy. Mom wouldn’t suspect him, and dad would go back to normal.
But then, Shouto opened his little eyes, one of each color and…
Smiled.
“Tou-nii!” he said, and reached for his hand, trusting and innocent and Touya-
He couldn’t do it. His flames died out immediately.
God. What was he even thinking? This was… this was his brother. This was a baby. And heroes… weren’t they supposed to protect the weak? A hero wouldn’t hurt someone so small and defenseless. A villain would
“I- I’m sorry” Touya mumbled, and he felt the tears filling his eyes. “I just- I don’t know what else to do. How to fix this” he mumbled as he fell to the floor, hands shaking.
He didn’t notice Shouto climbing out of his crib until he was already standing next to him.
“Nii-san... hurt?” Shouto asked.
“…No. I’m fine” he said, sniffing.
Shouto didn’t say anything else, but he climbed on top of his lap and hugged him. Shouto’s weigh on his arms helped grounding him, so he held him tightly against him until he fell asleep. Shouto had taken everything away from him, but it was very hard not to love him.
The next morning, their mother found them both sleeping on the floor.