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Tubbo's Grief

Summary:

'Tommy's life for your freedom'

Tommy is dead. Tubbo is left to deal with the consequences.
Tubbo turns to the one person who can bring his best friend back, the very person who killed him. But Tubbo knows that Tommy's life comes with a price.
A price that Tubbo is Willing to pay.

Notes:

So Tubbo was really tired last night to act his reaction so here is my version of Tubbo's grief and how Dream will escape the prison.
If you like angst, here's a bucket load :)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Tubbo screamed into the night sky. No one cared! No one but him and Ranboo and Sam.  

 

‘I’m sorry I couldn't get to you, Tommy’

 

Tubbo’s hands ached dully, splinters bit into his skin but he ignored them. What was he to do? He couldn’t live without Tommy. Sure he had Ranboo, who was a quite warm presence, like the ocean itself. Unmovable, constant, calming.

But he wasn’t Tommy.

Tommy was Tubbo’s fire. Tommy was Tubbo’s other half, two sides of the same coin. Tommy whose energy was endless, who bounced off the walls, exploding like fireworks in a brilliant cataclysmic display of emotions. Tommy had always been there, even in exile Tubbo had known that his friend was alive, that someday he would come home. To Tubbo.

Home wasn't a place. Tubbo’s home hadn't been the house that Sapnap and Dream had burnt back in the first war. It hadn’t been L’manberg. It hadn’t even been Snowchester. 

 

It had been Tommy.

 

Tommy was the reason why Tubbo had never felt the need to truly settle in one place. What Tubbo found rebuild so easily. Because as long as Tommy was with him, he had a home.

Tommy was a raging flame, that much was obvious, he was unpredictable, volatile and could be very destructive. But he was also playful as the flames of a campfire would play in the gentle wind that danced with them or how the flames of the torches in the mines playfully taunted the darkness pressing around it. Tubbo knew that fire wasn’t always destructive, fire was sanctuary, safety, warmth and protection from a world of shadows and monsters.

Tommy was his flame.

Tubbo’s world had been thrown into darkness, shadows pressing in from all sides. They had never won. They had never beaten Dream, they had never survived the egg. Tommy was doomed to fail before he started. Just as Icuarus was doomed to fall from flying too close to the sun before he had even spread his wings.

Techno had been right. Heroes always die. No hero has ever been happy. Maybe that was why Dream had stopped trying to be a hero when they started all this months ago. 

Because in the end a hero would sacrifice his life to save the world. A villain sacrifices the world to save those he loved.

Had Tommy known that his death was inevitable. Fated by whatever watched over them all, pulling at the threads of life like a puppeteer. Like Dream had done.

 

Like Dream had done.

 

Tubbo gazed at the door to Tommy’s home in the hill, his embassy. The flowers Ranboo had planted reflected the light of the half moon, their heads dipped almost in mourning. Tubbo could hear the laughter and chatter of celebratory parties from hundreds of blocks away. Punz, Ant and Bad all laughing and celebrating Tommy’s death. 

Tubbo, felt the embers in his chest catch. He was slow to anger, far slower than Tommy, but after spending so much time dancing around Tommy’s flame, his own embers had been planted, glowing softly deep in his chest. 

Techno had gone to the ends of the earth to get a totem for Phil. Dream had fought ender dragons and withers multiple times to get back to George and Sapnap’s side. Techno and Dream were both great warriors, neither wholly bad but not good either. They were morally grey. But they were proof that a villain would always sacrifice the world to save those closest to them.

A hero can give you their second hand attention, you will never be their first priority. But a villain can give you the world, they would set the world to burn and laugh so long as those they wanted to protect were safe.

Tommy hadn’t come to live in Snowchester with Tubbo. But he had always been there for him, watching carefully as Ranboo and Tubbo played around, basking in the newfound freedom of the server.

Tommy hadn’t been perfect. But he had been Tubbo’s longest and closest friend.

His throat was raw from his screams, eyes viciously stung from the tears he had shed. Arms encircled him and Tubbo turned to press his face into a large but slim torso, slamming his curled fists weakly into the solid mass, sobs wracking his body.

‘I can’t lose him’ he whimpered, ‘I CAN’T LOSE HIM’ he throat protested as the harsh, rough words clawed their way up his raw throat to explode into Ranboo’s shoulder. 

Ranboo, who was so much larger than Tubbo, partially engulfed him, his hand coming up to stroke Tubbo’s head. The half-enderman hadn’t said a word since Tommy’s death, but Tubbo through his tears had seen how the tall boy’s shoulders sagged as if the weight of the world had dropped upon them. A weight that Tubbo was all too familiar with seeing Tommy carry. 

Tubbo knew that Ranboo understood exactly what was happening, what now fell to him. For months now, Ranboo had risen among the server, his power developing slowly as he forged connections with members. Had Tommy known? Had Tommy deliberately let Ranboo bond with Tubbo so carefully, because he knew he was going to die?

 

But Ranboo wasn’t Tommy. He could never be Tommy. 

 

Ranboo’s arms felt so similar to Tommy’s in many ways, and yet different. How many times had Tommy held Tubbo tightly, stroking Tubbo’s head into his chest? They had spent many nights curled on the bench in each other's embrace. One of the worst times had been after Wilbur’s death. The two of them left in the ruins of their fractured family, the two of them against the world.

But the worst had been the day L’manberg had died for the last time. That was the only time Tubbo had seen Tommy cry, his own tears dripping silently onto Tubbo’s head and shoulder. Tommy had watched not only his older brother but his father join with Dream to tear apart one of the last things Tommy had. Tommy had lost Wilbur again that night. The last reminder of his elder brother that both of them had looked up to with unrivaled admiration.

Tubbo suddenly felt suffocated in Ranboo’s arms.

He pushed out of them, breaths coming in harsh pants, scrambling backwards on his bum, til he came to rest on the doors of Tommy’s house. Ranboo’s head was framed by the moon like a warped halo, ‘Tubbo’ he said gently, the deep baritone of his voice vibrating in Tubbo’s chest. His one green eye gleaming in the moonlight, reminding him so much of the music disk cat that now sat safely in Tommy’s ender chest. But also of a lime green hoodie, a green shadow that fluted across the land...or used to.

Dream and Techno had already shown that they would tear the world apart to get loved ones back. Tubbo was no different. Tubbo would walk through hell, face dragons and withers a thousand times to get Tommy back. He would walk through fire and ash to the deepest, darkest depths of the earth.

An idea rose in Tubbo’s mind. Tubbo was not reckless. No, he was the voice of reason that followed Tommy;’s burning impulsive recklessness. But now with Tommy gone, those embers had caught fire, Tubbo didn’t care about the egg or the safety of the server.

 

Let the server burn for all he cared, if he got Tommy back nothing else mattered.

 

Tubbo was on his feet running down the Prime Path, Ranboo’s heavy steps followed him, easily keeping pace with Tubbo’s much shorter ones. He raced past the Big Innit Hotel where an excited Sam Nook chattering to himself, waiting for a boy that would never return. Tubbo ignored Ranboo’s calls as the two of them raced past Skeppy’s mansion and onto the fields beyond, the black of the prison rising before them, cold fatigue sweeping over them in a chilling wave.

‘SAM! SAM!’ Tubbo screamed as the two of them skidded into the Prison entrance, through the nether portal. Only Ranboo’s tight grip prevented him from running back through the portal again too quickly. Sam must have been in the prison already as it took seconds before his quiet voice allowed them back through the portal.

The sight that greeted Tubbo under usual circumstances would have excited him, the usual Tubbo would have let a flood of questions flow from his mouth about redstone mechanics. 

 

But that Tubbo had his Tommy. This one didn’t.

 

Sam sat at the desk, head in his hands, shoulders shaking, he met their eyes, his own glistening with unfallen tears. Tubbo stalked towards him. ‘I want to see Dream now!’ he demanded, all signs of his usual soft, excited self gone. He ignored Ranboo’s intake of breath. Sam considered him carefully.

‘We set Dream free for Tommy’s life. Dream said it himself, he needs Tommy’ Tubbo said, his voice held no room for argument.

‘I can’t let you do that Tubbo’ Sam said quietly.

‘I’m not asking’

Ranboo and Sam exchanged a look over Tubbo’s head. Sam opened his mouth again but Tubbo cut him off, ‘I don’t care if Dream is free. I don’t care if he comes after me. I don’t care if the eggpire wins. I don’t care...’ his voice cracked, ‘I just want my Tommy back’

Sam watched him carefully, but Tubbo could see in the man’s eyes he had already won. Sam thought of Tommy as his son as much, if not more so than Philza his actual father did. Sam had creed Sam Nook to give Tommy those moments of childlike joy and excitement. 

Sam eventually nodded, a single tear running down his right cheek, ‘We go and ask Dream about the book. ONLY after he confirms its possible and ONLY then will I consider his release.’

Ranboo tugged Tubbo into the first locker, both of them depositing all their items in a chest, Ranboo looked surprised as Sam nodded them both through the Prison, he didn’t even get Tubbo to sign anything.

Tubbo wished he could appreciate the red-stone and the complexity of the prison, but that part of himself was locked deep inside his mind. Had the old him died with Tommy? Tubbo barely registered Ranboo’s tight, pained expression as the two of them swam through some water. Ranboo stayed by him, his constant presence grounding Tubbo, reminding him to put one foot in front of the other, towards Dream, towards Tommy.

He came back to himself fully as they stood before a wall of lava, the sound of dispensers being shut down slid into his ears. Ranboo stood next to Sam behind him, only Tubbo would go into the cell.

As the lava receed Tubbo looked into the white mask that had only  a few months ago held a sword to his throat, had threatened and intended to kill him. Dream stood stock still in the centre of the cell. He looked like a statue, unmoving as he met Tubbo’s gaze. 

He barely acknowledged the lava around him as the floor moved him towards Dream. When Tubbo reached him, he expected the lava to fall again but Sam and Ranboo remained on the edge at the other side of the lake, watching carefully, hearing all.

Tubbo took a step towards Dream. He knew that the man had already assessed him, taken in his red, puffy eyes and bloody fists. He was waiting for Tubbo. Waiting for Tubbo to make the first move. 

He took a deep breath matching Dream’s gaze.

‘Your freedom for Tommy’s life’

 

Notes:

I was actually so shocked last night. I said a month ago that Dream would be let out due to Tommy's death!
This is from my story Tubbo's Choice that I wrote on 3rd February 2021, predicting this event under slightly different circumstances, if you would like to read that (I initially thought that the egg would have more involvement but the theory of Dream's release is the same)

Thank you so much for the support on this story. Follow me on Twitter for any updates!

Wren~

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