Chapter Text
Shangri La: A remote, imaginary place where life approaches perfection.
Chapter 1: Life with a Thousand Possibilities
It's not enough, Katara thinks dimly, as she catches Aang's body. The lightning twitches through him and Katara breaks open the vial of spirit water and pushes it through the gaping wound. It's not enough.
She vaguely registers heat heading towards her, and as she covers Aang's body with her own, Iroh is there, shouting for her to get out, and she follows his command dumbly. She hoists Aang's unresponsive body into her arms and rushes to the exit, trying not to jostle his bleeding body. She pays no attention to the pair of golden eyes that follow her retreat.
She has been trained as a fighter first and a healer second, but it doesn't take much to know that it's not enough. The spirit water may have delayed his death, pulled him back from the brink, but his heart is struggling to stabilise, and his organs seem to be caving in.
Mercifully, she bumps into Sokka and Toph, and snaps in irritation at both of them when they seem frozen in horror at the sight of Aang's limp body. They don't have time for this; it's not enough.
Somehow, they clamber on to Appa and race towards the Northern Water Tribe. She can't remember how they got here, or how they decided to head to their sister tribe. Not that it matters; there is no time to mull over decisions, there is only time to heal. She pulls water periodically from the seascape whipping beneath her, cloaking Aang in its healing energy.
She tries not to wonder if the spirit water worked; she tries not to wonder at all. The chasm between her and her offer to heal the pathetic traitor gapes open with a flurry of questions, and she knows that if she succumbs to it, she may never be able to climb out again. Would Aang survive? Was her ineptitude in healing going to result in the murder of the world's last hope? What would happen to Ba Sing Se? To them?
The sting from the wind pulls tears out of her eyes, and she brushes them aside impatiently. There's no time for crying. She focuses on trying to keep Aang's heart beating, and it's not nearly enough. A sob breaks loose from her throat, and she suddenly feels Toph burrow against her side in an uncharacteristic display of vulnerability. As Sokka whips at the reins, Katara and Toph cling on to each other and Aang, indulging themselves in their grief and missing entirely the sight of a war balloon trailing behind them.
Their arrival at the Northern Water Tribe is predictably marred by confusion. It takes a while of Sokka's panicked explanations for someone to be alerted. Katara lays Aang down in the snow and continues the push and pull of the water from Aang's chest, and someone drops to their knees by his head.
Master Pakku's face is creased with concern. "Who did this?" he murmurs to her, weaving his gloved hands and the ball of water between them around Aang's chest.
Katara remembers little else than a scar under her palm and lightning arcing through the air. "Take a guess."
Finally looking away from Aang's serene face, she faces her waterbending master. She opens her mouth, swallows, and then tries again: "Can you heal him?"
Pakku's mouth tips downwards. "No. We need Yugoda…" he trails off, grimacing.
In another world, in another life, Katara might have found wry amusement in her waterbending master's admittance of inferior healing skills, but she instead levitates Aang using a bed of ice. Pakku joins in, and together, they start heading towards the healing huts.
As Sokka falls into step besides them, Katara turns to Toph. "Coming?" she asks, a little urgently.
Toph shakes her head, her feet sinking further into the snow. She fists her hands in Appa's fur. "I'll take care of Appa."
As they begin their race towards Yugoda, Katara feels Sokka's hand grip hers. Together, they stare at the red that starts to stain the ice beneath Aang's body.
There is nothing that Yugoda can do. She tells Katara as much, a breath after assuring her that using the spirit water was the right thing to do.
"Will he live?" Katara asks.
Yugoda doesn't know, but Katara can tell that she is not hopeful.
"What, then?" Katara hears herself ask. "Tell me what I need to do. Please."
As a collective, they are lost for words. Katara looks at Aang, so small in the vast pile of furs Yugoda has placed him on. He is cocooned in the healing water Yugoda has specially blessed, and he levitates slightly from the furs. Various herbs dot the walls around them, cramped into jars and sneaking past their lids. Scrolls and informative drawings are packed into various shelves, and Katara squints at the diagram of chakra being shared between two silhouettes. Chi transfusion, it reads.
"Katara, we have to wait and see," Yugoda is saying, frowning at the sight of the small boy in her furs. "We've done what we can, we have to wait."
"No! Tell me what to do!" Katara voice crescendos, but she doesn't care. "Do I have to use more spirit water? Do I have to go to the spirit world and get him back? I'll do it, just tell me!"
From the entryway, she hears a mirthless chuckle. Chief Arnook.
"Must you always shout at all the elders here?" he asks her. He approaches Aang's bed, and splays a hand delicately over the tattoo on his forehead. "Pakku filled me in," he tells her, swallowing. "I'm sorry. You can of course seek refuge here while we wait for Aang to heal."
"I don't want to wait, I want to heal him! Are you telling me that there are no healers in all of the Northern Water Tribe who can help him? That there's nothing in the world we can do?"
Yugoda looks at her, sharply, curiously. She meanders thoughtfully over to the shelf overflowing with scrolls, pushing her thumb and index fingers against her temples. "In this world... no," she mutters to herself.
Katara is apparently not the only one who's lost by the abrupt shift in tone. Chief Arnook clears his throat, confusion contorting his face.
Yugoda runs an index finger along the smooth ridges of scrolls, before unceremoniously yanking one out. She ignores the cascade of scrolls by her feet. She begins unrolling it, the tips of her mouth drawing further and further downwards as she inspects the contents.
Katara is impatient. "What?"
Yugoda ignores her, as she thoughtfully thumbs at the bottom of the scroll. Finally, she looks over at Chief Arnook, her expression indecipherable. She places the scroll in his outstretched hand.
She turns to Katara slowly.
"In our tribes, there is a forgotten legend of the Life with A Thousand Possibilities. Tui, the spirit of the moon, would spend her days in the embrace of, La, the spirit of the ocean. At nighttime, she would gaze fondly down on her lover, who would create tides the size of islands to entertain her. She would drift down, gradually, entranced by the dance of the waves. La would open up his arms to her when she drifted close, and the two of them would spend time in each other's embrace until nighttime beckoned her back up again. So went the rise and fall of the moon. One day, as the winds became colder and nighttime became more demanding, La became jealous and impatient at his lover's slow dance back down to him, and her insistence to remain among the Original Stars for such long periods.
'Why must you torment me so?' he demanded.
'I belong with you, but I also belong with the nighttime, illuminating the world when it is darkest,' she replied. 'I cannot abandon the Original Stars to the lonesome of the night. Not even for you.'
In a fit of jealous rage, La pulled Tui into his arms, and refused to let her resurface. Tui's fitful thrashing caused the tides La controlled to turn tumultuous, as the world tipped into darkness.
'Why have you forsaken her?' the Original Stars wailed to him, but he ignored them all. At last, he had achieved the stasis he craved. The tides calmed, and Tui stopped thrashing. As La inspected his lover, he realised with horror that she had drowned.
As La mourned the loss of his lover, his tears filled the ocean and crowded the stars further and further up.
'Stop,' they pleaded, 'you'll drown us all!'
'Return my lover to me,' he demanded them, as the water level steadily rose.
Panicked, they offered him a deal. Each of the Original Stars would agree to be swallowed whole by La, under the premise that they would resurface safely on the other side of the ocean to a different world.
'One of these worlds must have Tui, alive and happy,' they reasoned. 'In this world, you can be with her forever, with the correct push and pull you deserve.'
La agreed eagerly, and opened his mouth. The Original Stars queued up and flung themselves in his mouth, one by one. He swallowed them all whole, and kept his promise. He guided them each to the other side of the ocean, and then weaved through the different worlds to find Tui.
At last, he caught the glimmer of silver and cried in relief. 'Finally,' he said, 'I will never forsake you again.'
And so Tui lived again, rising up to her friends, the stars, and spending the days in the embrace of her lover. One Original Star always remained in each of his worlds, always pointing north, branding his shame forever."
Katara looks steadily at Yugoda. "What does this have to do with..." she gestures weakly to the boy with the gaping wound.
Yugoda glances at Chief Arnook, whose expression remains stoic as he reaches the ends of the scroll.
"Legend has it," she explains quietly, "that those who swallow a star themselves may be transported by Tui and La to another world. One where the mistakes you want to avoid have not happened. One where..." she trails off, but she doesn't need to finish the sentence. One where Aang may not die.
The silence is punctured by a spluttering, disbelieving laugh. "Swallow a star? Lady, are you crazy?"
Katara starts at the sound of Sokka's voice. She had forgotten he was here.
Yugoda frowns heavily at him. "Be quiet," she snaps.
Katara eyes the old woman. "Er... not to sound pessimistic, but how would we ever find a star to swallow?" She treads carefully around her words; she doesn't want to upset the one person in the world who may be able to save Aang.
Yugoda plucks a jar from her shelf, and lifts it for them to see. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that you can find stars at the end of the Northern Lights?"
In fact, Gran Gran had. She glances uneasily at Sokka, who looks back at her hopelessly. They both turn to Aang, whose face looks so young, so serene, like he was entranced by a dreamless sleep.
Sokka comes to stand besides her, gently nudging her shoulder with his own.
"You've always believed in mumbo-jumbo spiritual stuff," Sokka tells her, smiling slightly. "Aunt Wu," he reminds her, linking his pinkie finger with hers.
That is neither here nor there, and she tells him as such. Still, she supposes that she would try anything to save Aang.
"Okay, let's try it." Katara turns to Yugoda expectantly, only to find her shaking her head.
"If only it were this simple. It'll take a night to brew the actual potion. But if I get started - "
"No."
Everyone turns to Chief Arnook, whose expression is grave. "No. I will not permit this to happen."
"Chief - " Yugoda starts, but he interrupts her.
"You don't understand the consequences of what you're saying. You're too young. You're endangering us all. This could ruin not only this life, but the life you're proposing to jump into as well. You think you can save Aang in the other world? You can be given a clean slate, but do you know that if Aang dies in another life, he dies here as well?"
Katara turns to Yugoda. "Is this true?"
She nods. "Not only that," she explains gently, "but you'll also be giving up your current life. You may never be able to return, ever. What you find there may be the last chance you have. Are you willing to risk it?"
She doesn't know.
"I can concoct the potion while you decide. Just in case. It requires a night under the moon to get her blessing. May Yue help us. If you decide to go through with this, you must do it before dawn breaks tomorrow."
Katara looks at the softly dimming sky. Tomorrow, she thinks, and then nods at Yugoda. Chief Arnook, scowling, blocks Yugoda's exit. "You cannot do this. You don't know what the consequences are."
Katara frowns heavily at Arnook. "This is the Avatar. We have to save him. If we do nothing, he'll die, right?"
Yugoda hesitates before answering: "We don't know, but..." Yes.
The time before Arnook's answer morphs into a physical thing; she sees the way he paces at the door, fists clenched around the scroll and brows furrowed. Katara is seized by a sudden nostalgia for her own father. Would he have acted like this? Katara would have like to remember him as braver than this.
He finally whips around to face Katara. "You don't get a clean slate. Some of the consequences of your actions in the other life will directly affect this one. We've finally built a stronghold in the Norther Water Tribe! You cannot forsake this life; you could ruin everything we've worked towards!" He shakes the scroll at Katara, who takes it and examines some of its text:
'Actions that may anger La can be felt in all lives, likely at the cost of the traveller's own life and those around her, in both lives. One wrong step and both lives could suddenly become unrecognisable.'
She looks at the Chief, and Sokka interjects angrily on her behalf. "This is everything we've worked towards!" He points at Aang. "If we do nothing, he dies. And then what would happen to our world?"
Arnook's face contorts in arrogance. "We would be fine. The Fire Nation wouldn't attack us again. We've learned from our previous mistakes; we're not - "
"What?" Katara snaps. "Ba Sing Se? I saw Zuko and Azula take the city down by themselves! Who do you think is next? Where is the next big stronghold?"
It's true. With Ba Sing Se fallen, it only makes sense to attack the biggest civilisation from the remaining nation. The South Pole has been slaughtered down to just Katara's Gran Gran; they'll come here next.
The Chief stares intently at her, and then after a beat, down at the furs by Aang's feet. "We cannot risk it. Do you think I wanted it this way? Don't you think I understand what it's like to want to go to another world to get someone back?" he tells them quietly.
The moon shines brightly outside their tent as Sokka tells him: "This is what Yue would have done. This is what she would have wanted."
There is pain in the Chief's eyes, but Katara is not swayed. She knows what it's like to have family murdered, and she knows that there are things more important than fear, such as saving the life of the world's last hope. Aang has shouldered the burden of a hundred Avatars since he emerged from the iceberg. She hopes to see him penguin sled again.
Finally, Chief Arnook caves, and takes his leave. "Don't say I didn't warn you," he says, bitterly. Yugoda follows after him, nervously clutching a jar and a couple of vials of liquids.
Sokka turns to her. "I'm going to carry Toph over. We should be together."
Katara readily agrees, and then it's just her and Aang in the tent. She touches the soft furs surrounding him, and caves finally to the dam of questions she has blocked up until this point.
In the dim green of the Crystal Catacombs, she had believed that she could transform the world into the one she wanted with enough hope in people. I thought you had changed, she told him.
She realises, now, that there is no such thing as perfection. She thinks about the life she would give up: the war, her mother's death, her father's sturdy silences and her brother's deep-bellied laughter. She may never meet Toph in her new life. She may never train under Pakku, she may never insurrect a rebellion on a ship, she may never have to see Jet die, she may never penguin sled with the world's last hope. She may never be betrayed again.
She lays on the furs besides Aang, and as she waits for Toph and Sokka, she drifts into a fitful dream of lightning streaking through the air, golden eyes, and stars being swallowed whole.