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Jeonghan looked at Cheol as they got out of the car, his face as if reassuring him that everything’s going to be okay. He sighed as he took his partner’s hand and he immediately found the comfort he’d always feel whenever he holds Jeonghan’s hand.
He dreaded the times he had to see his parents. Ever since he had come out to them about his relationship with Jeonghan many years ago, his parents had always been distant and unapproving. Cheol had brought Jeonghan to different gatherings and not once did they even try to talk to the love of his life.
And it hurts more than what he can imagine.
How could one’s parents not accept their child for who they are?
You can say that Cheol came from a conservative family. A family that goes to church on Sundays, with his father being one of the members in their local church group, and a family that may have orthodox views on societal issues and those that involved the government.
Cheol hated that life.
During one of their dinners back when he was still living with his family, he recalled his parents talking about a guy from their church group who was caught cheating by his wife multiple times and yet he heard his parents saying that they should still keep the family together for the sake of the kids, that annulment of marriage is not an option.
He knew that guy, he has seen him in church. His heart broke when he saw his wife. She looked distant and unhappy. Cheol thought back then, is it really okay to keep a marriage intact when you’ve already hurt your partner so much and both persons in the relationship are no longer happy? How can they still use the sanctity of marriage as a reason to keep the marriage when someone has already cheated?
Regardless of the decision of that couple, those values just didn’t sit well with him.
As he went through school, he had began to question the things he once knew. That included being exposed to the issues of oppression and corruption. That was also the time he met Sungjin. They both attended rallies together and discussed their opinions on different things. They would also go to outreach programs and hearing stories about the plight of the masses truly broke his heart.
Despite being bad with matters related to his love life, Sungjin is one of Cheol’s favorite persons. They may have pursued their passion for their respective careers soon after they graduated, but their passion for the country never faded. They still try to help whenever they can.
Cheol also had that awakening in terms of his beliefs. Eventually, he stopped believing in the idea of religion after continuously learning about it. For him, as long as he’s doing the right thing and is not hurting anyone, he’s okay not to engage himself with anything related to church and stuff. He did not want to conform on the basis of what a religion says.
During all these learnings, Cheol met Jeonghan through Joshua. He was one of their classmates. In one of the activities, they were opponents at a debate. As Jeonghan discussed his arguments with eloquence and passion, he began to feel his heart beating fast for the man he didn’t know will be the love of his life months after. He did not question that feeling because he believed having romantic feelings for someone should not be bound by gender. At the end of the day, you love who you love.
Jeonghan agreeing to be his boyfriend is one of the best moments of his life.
They have already been dating for a few months when Cheol decided to come out to his family. He wanted to be honest. He admired Jeonghan when he introduced him to his family. They were accepting of their relationship.
Much as he wished for the same once he comes out to his family, Cheol knew it wasn’t going to be the case.
His coming out story wasn’t as chaotic as the kind you see in telenovelas but the disapproving looks of his parents was something he would remember for as long as he’s alive. His parents had kept on asking him if there was something wrong with the way they raised him, or if he knew that being in love with a person of the same sex is wrong. Much worse, they even wondered what everyone in their church group will think if this ever gets out. It was disheartening, for the lack of a better word. The only thing that comforted him during that time was his sister Jisoo’s look of understanding and acceptance.
And so he moved out of their house, a decision that he knew he must do. Ever since he came out, there had always been that feeling of not being welcomed at their house anymore. His parents rarely talked to him. There was silence as they continue to eat during dinner and the warmth that he used to feel at the same house he called home was replaced by the feeling of distance, coldness, emptiness.
It was like being shunned out of their family without his parents saying it.
He had to work in between jobs and lived alone as he continued studying. Much to his chagrin, Jeonghan had offered to move out as well and live with him. He didn’t like the fact that his partner will also suffer from his situation.
But Jeonghan talked him through it. He recalled Jeonghan telling him that he didn’t have to suffer alone and that he will be there to support him. As soon as he heard that, he broke down for the first time since he moved out.
And so with the approval of Jeonghan’s parents, they moved in together. They would go to his partner’s house to have lunch during the weekends and he would always love it because it felt like home.
Cheol remember crying when Jeonghan’s parents told him that he can think of them as his own parents. How can other people be so accepting of him while his own family could not even look at him the same as they did before he came out?
His parents didn’t even attend his graduation, and it broke his heart to a million pieces.
Years later, Cheol has realized that there are other people out there that treats him like family. There’s Jeonghan’s family, his cousins, his favorite band that only lives next door, and the 11 assholes living with him and Jeonghan.
And that’s all that matters.
Jeonghan squeezed his hand, bringing him back to reality. “You ready?”
Cheol smiled and kissed Jeonghan’s forehead. “Yeah, let’s go.”
Facing his family at his cousin Minho’s birthday party today is something he dreaded but as long as he has Jeonghan by his side, he knew everything will be alright.