Chapter Text
Joining the film club had been an impulsive decision. Atsushi wasn't the type of person who did things without mulling over them for hours to no end, but after accompanying Junichirou, he wanted to go back. The atmosphere around the club room was great. They were all very passionate about movies, and Atsushi could feel the dedication in all of them. Besides, the president was too attractive to ignore.
Atsushi remembered everyone, but he got better along with Mizuki and Gin. Gin had peaceful energy around them, despite looking like they could kill you. Mizuki was a diligent person and had a radiant look in her eyes whenever she spoke about her favorite director, Ayatsuji Yukito. Despite the rumors surrounding that man, Mizuki faithfully supported him, claiming they were baseless nonsense. Atsushi hoped so, being someone who didn't assume the worst in people right away, but he wished Mizuki never got to meet her hero, fearing the rumors might be true. It was best to not meet your heroes just to be safe. The three of them liked to meet up outside club hours to go to the cinema or talk about movies. One of their favorite things to do was filming their reviews on the films they watched.
The two girls were used to the camera, but Atsushi still feared voicing his opinion to make it public. He didn't know enough about movies, unlike Gin and Mizuki. The quiet Gin couldn't help but criticize the special effects, the green screen's use, the direction, the outfits, makeup, and casting. She didn't get into detail, but she voices strong and firm opinions based on what he saw. Mizuki focused more on the acting and the writing, the chemistry between the actors, and the plot. If it went too fast or too slow, the film's overall feel, if it had useless scenes of it, and if it had the potential to make one cry. Together, they complemented each other's opinions and did a complete review. Atsushi helped with the camera.
It was his hidden talent. If it were anything but a camera, Atsushi's hands would tremble like a leaf on a windy autumn day, but the moment Gin entrusted him with the camera on one of their stroll reviews, his hands were rock-steady. He became the person everyone went to when they wanted to do any dynamic filming. The trust they put in him created a warm feeling in his chest, and Atsushi wanted to do his very best.
One night the entire club became too engrossed in an old film that Chuuya found in a flea-market that it was almost midnight, so they decided to have the welcome party that they had been postponing for weeks. Atsushi had forgotten those were a thing. The party was at a barbeque place, and the guests of honor were John, a horror movie enthusiast, and Atsushi, who didn't know much.
A lot of eating and drinking, and talking about anything but movies, because they made it a forbidden topic to ensure they got to know each other better. At first, it was hard since that was the one thing they all had in common. However, they soon found ease in talking about school, the crazy parties of a Chinese exchange student, tips on flirting, and their failed love lives. At some point, they focused on teasing Chuuya, who always got too drunk and called his ex begging him to pay for his car already, which he had crashed right before they broke up. To that, Atsushi paid special attention.
He hadn't been able to get closer to Chuuya since he joined. Atsushi didn't know how or what he'd do if he succeeded in closing the distance between them. Well, he had no problem with that. Getting a boyfriend wasn't his priority, and he already had friends he cherished dearly.
“This is the year I make that bastard pay,” Chuuya served himself another glass of wine. He was the only one drinking that, since the rest were beer enthusiasts. Atsushi didn’t like the flavor, and came to the conclusion that the only good thing about beer was its pretty golden color. He wanted to taste the wine, but he didn’t want to separate Chuuya from the bottle he hugged tightly to his chest.
“You say that every year,” Gin mumbled. During the party, they removed their facemask, and Atsushi couldn’t believe how pretty they were.
Atsushi took a sip of his coke. “Maybe this year is the one,” he said. In his heart, he felt bad for Chuuya, and truly wished for his senior to find justice. His ex sounded like the type of person who somehow always managed to get away with everything. Maybe all the worries were what stopped Chuuya from growing.
“Damn right, Atsushi!” Chuuya shouted from the other side of the table as he raised his glass. “This will be my year!”
Right after that, he drank the whole glass, making Atsushi worry. The rest of the club ignored it, most likely used to it, and John didn’t like Chuuya that much to begin with, he wouldn’t care about his drunken habits. Atsuhi, however, wanted to reach out and take the bottle, but he knew he’d lose a hand if he tried.
At some point after that, when they were walking to the bus station, Chuuya disappeared. Atsushi wanted to look for him, but Mizuki pulled him by the arm to prevent him from leaving, and Gin said it was a fool’s journey to look for Chuuya when he was drunk.
The next day, during club hours, Atsushi wondered why the room was empty. Perhaps they made plans to watch something and they were in the theater room, where they projected the films. However, there was nothing in the groupchat. The lights were busted, and they always covered all windows to ensure a better movie-experience, so Atsushi only had a couple lines of sunlight that crept through the windows as his guiding grace.
Atsushi began to fear they were all playing a mean prank on him. Maybe they were hiding, and were waiting for him to simmer in his own fear for a while before jumping out to scare the life out of him. He shook his head: the room was too small for that. Although the stacks and shelves of movies made a perfect hiding spot, none of them would risk making a mess out of the result of many years of collection. Under the table, or behind the couches was also unlikely, so the young man was safe.
“Who’s there?”
The voice made everything come to a sudden stop. His breathing, his heart, the slow movement of the dust particles. Everything. Atsushi could not scream, but the scare made him think of what it felt like to have his soul leave his body. That must be it. Without even time to react, the scare snatched his soul. He didn’t think death would come to him like that; not with that voice as the last thing he heard.
It wasn’t that bad.
Then, a pat on his back brought him back, and he let out the scream that had died in his throat.
“The fuck, Atsushi?”
The young man looked back and saw Chuuya. At least, he assumed it was Chuuya. His heart could not calm down because of the continuous unwelcome surprises it had suffered, but he ignored them to take Chuuya’s shoulders and crouch slightly to see him eye to eye. “Nakahara-san, are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
Now, Atsushi was not the brightest and quickest of his friend group ─Louisa was a genius, after all─, but he knew a blatant lie when he heard one. He looked around, and decided it was best to get out of the club room. Atsushi took a deep breath and straightened his back. “Alright, so, what if we go take some air?”
Chuuya shook Atsushi’s hands off him and threw himself on the couch. “I look like a mess.”
“No problem, we can stay here,” Atsushi cursed inwards. He had no idea what to do, or what was wrong: he was lost. He sat next to Chuuya’s body, which rested in an unfavorable position for his spine on the couch. Atsushi took a small portion compared to Chuuya, and he wished he could take even less space for his senior to lay as he wished, even at the expense of his back. He cleared his throat. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Atsushi did not know what it was, but it sounded like a phrase he could use for any possible situation, and the only card he had to play with.
“Hah?”
He rushed to answer. “Or not, it’s fine.”
Chuuya crawled around until he sat next to Atsushi, although the younger could hear it better than he could see it. “Are you sure you want to listen? Everyone left because they didn’t.”
That was just sad. Atsushi couldn’t not do anything when Chuuya looked so pitiful. He was sure his senior would hate to be perceived as such, but there was no other way to describe the pain in his heart. At least, not one Atsushi cared for. He did his best to relax his shoulders and looked at Chuuya with a smile, although he was not sure if the other could see it. “I’m sure.”
He wasn’t, but there was no other answer he could articulate.
“Did I ever tell you about my ex?” Chuuya started. The answer was, technically, no.. Atsushi had just heard of the mythical man who broke Nakahara Chuuya’s heart from the other club members, but never from the heartbroken man himself. “Well, long story short, it wasn’t the healthiest relationship. He tested my temper like no other person,” A shiver traveled from his shpine to his shoulders as if remembering the past. “I always say he crashed my car, but he actually crashed into it. It was kind of an accident, but the damage was still there. He said he’d pay me back, but he never did.” Chuuya raised his finger to make a point, Atsushi guessed. He was confused with the situation, he was in no place to judge the reason why Chuuya did what he did. “It was when we had already broken up, so the car was not one of the reasons why we ended it. Anyway, he never contacted me, and I didn’t want to be the one calling their ex, you know?” Atsushi noded, but he had never been in a relationship, so he didn’t know the sentiment. “Point is, I saw him today.”
“Oh.”
Chuuya frowned. “Oh?”
“Oh,” Atsushi repeated. “It must’ve been,” he took a deep breath to make time to think of something. “Something.”
His senior looked at him for a second before turning away. Atsushi could not decipher what that look in his face meant. Disappointment? Disbelief? Atsushi didn’t know anything about relationships, nor what it felt to have a broken heart: he was at a loss. He was usually good with his words when it came to comforting others, but there was nothing he could come up with any empathetic speeches for Chuuya.
“He has a new boyfriend,” Chuuya let out. It almost seemed like one word with the speed in which he said it. Atsushi raised his eyebrows, wondering who it could be to make Nakahara Chuuya jealous. “They are on the same page, as much as one can be with that guy, and they look good, and he’s tall.”
Ah.
“Well, isn’t it good that he’s with someone he’s better compatible with?” Atsushi didn’t know what that meant, but he felt that was something Naomi would say, so it felt right. She knew of relationships: she watches all kinds of romance dramas and read many books about love. “You can also find someone who’s better suited for you, Nakahara-san.”
Chuuya stole a glimpse of Atsushi, who was being careful with his tone to sound as sweet and supporting as possible; to appear confident on what he was saying when he could not confirm such a thing.
“Thanks, Atsushi,” Chuuya brought his knees to his chest and hugged them. He rested his chin on his knees, and avoided Atsushi’s eyes. “I didn’t know I needed to hear that, but I was actually upset because he made fun of me for not calling to remind him of the car when I knew he’d forget,” Chuuya let out a pained sigh, making Atsushi jump in his seat. “In front of the whole cafeteria, can you believe that? It was so embarrassing, he even brought up some embarrassing things from when we were dating. I can’t go out after that.”
Atsushi couldn’t believe he had tried to comfort Chuuya. “Oh.”
At least Chuuya laughed a little. “Yeah.”
His senior grabbed his shoulder and shook him slightly. “You’re a great guy, Atsushi, no one had ever bothered to listen to me.”
Because he was a dramatic man who made others think his world had crumbled under his feet when, in reality, it wasn’t that apocalyptic. Atsushi wanted to crawl into a ball and let time pass, but something in Chuuya’s smile made him think that it wasn’t all the time that he was being dramatic. The sadness in it made it clear that even when he really needed someone to listen, no one had ever bothered.
Atsushi mimicked Chuuya’s position, bringing his knees to his chest. “If I’m such a great guy, buy me dinner.”
“Sure,” the redhead jumped up and held his hand out to Atsushi. “What do you want?”
Atsushi couldn’t believe it had worked. Before Chuuya could take it back, he took his hand and felt grateful for the little help to get up. “Chazuke.”
As expected, the redhead saw him with confusion. “Okay,” he shrugged. “Anything for you.”
There was a restaurant that Atsushi loved. At some point, he was the one pulling Chuuya along, their hands linked until they had to sit at the restaurant. They didn’t comment on it, and neither tried to pull away. If Atsushi had wanted to lead himself on, he would've noted Chuuya’s reluctance to let go as a sign, but that thought completely escaped the younger’s mind.