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It wasn’t that JJ wasn’t listening to Spencer’s ranting. Because she was, in whatever little way she could while also juggling three e-mails on her phone, ten case files under her arm, and the laundry list of errands running through her head that she needed to run before getting home that afternoon.
She was listening… Sort of. The same way that a mother listens to their child incoherently describing a dream or a cartoon. She knew he wouldn’t mind, either. He didn’t really need her input, he just wanted to get the words out of his head, and she was happy that she was the one he chose to be her sounding board.
But every so often, when things got like this, Spencer would surprise her. This time it was with just one, simple, unassuming word.
“But then my boyfriend told me that it’s actually way easier to—“
JJ’s feet came to a stop, her eyebrow cocking and her mouth dropping open even though Spencer had continued to walk like nothing had happened. As if he hadn’t just casually mentioned a boyfriend when all JJ had ever heard about was his very serious girlfriend for over a year.
‘Boyfriend?’ she repeated in her head, trying to convince herself that she’d heard him correctly but feeling that she must not have. Spencer wouldn’t have forgotten to mention a breakup, and he certainly wasn’t the kind of person to juggle multiple significant others at once. At least, not unless they all knew about one another. And he would definitely have told her if that was the case.
But before she could figure out how to ask him to repeat himself, to explain the reveal he’d just casually skipped over, an unlucky sound chimed through the air. They both sighed, turning around and heading back to the conference room they’d only just gotten the freedom to leave.
JJ still considered asking, but Spencer seemed too happy for her to go and ruin it. The gossip would have to wait.
That didn’t make the next three days any less confusing. Spencer didn’t mention his boyfriend again, which she thought was odd, considering he almost always gushed about anyone new in his life. She’d even heard him talk about a new guard at the gate he hadn’t even talked to before. That conversation went on for ten minutes.
So when the case ended and Spencer still hadn’t mentioned him again, JJ let it go. Maybe she had heard him wrong. And if she hadn’t? Well, she figured he’d tell her in time. When he was ready.
But the next morning at work, JJ realized that it wasn’t a matter of Spencer being ready. It was up to the universe, in all of its funny, inopportune glory. It had a way of working itself out.
It was a pretty normal morning. Nothing all too exciting had happened, and Spencer was engrossed in a crossword puzzle that he’d challenged himself to finish faster than Rossi, who was not aware they were competing and had no interest in winning. Nothing about it was strange or surprising.
Until a special visitor arrived, sporting a guest’s badge and a bright, familiar smile.
“Hey! What are you doing here?” Spencer called, immediately jumping from his seat and abandoning the puzzle the second he spotted his boyfriend.
The man was all too familiar with the genius’s enthusiasm, waiting patiently at the door for Spencer to collide into him with a complete lack of grace. He hugged him back for just a moment, prying giddy hands away so he could pull the second badge from around his neck.
“In all your infinite wisdom you left your badge at home. Figured it was sort of important.”
“Yeah, I realized that when I couldn’t get into the building,” Spencer chuckled, begrudgingly accepting the lanyard in place of his boyfriend, “Considered breaking in but decided it wasn’t worth it and called Luke instead.”
But then he asked the question everyone was wondering (and it really was everyone — the entire team kept their eyes on the interaction but didn’t dare disturb it).
“How did you get on base?”
But his boyfriend just gave a cheeky, mischievous giggle that hinted at something they’d really rather not know about before he explained, “I’m also a magician. Didn’t you know?”
“Right,” Spencer said through a smile, “I’m just the awkward but hopefully cute enough stage assistant.”
“The cutest.”
His boyfriend only meant for the kiss that followed to be brief and chaste, but the genius had another idea. Quickly cupping his cheeks, Spencer held his boyfriend close for as long as the man would let him. When they did finally break apart, it was with a light and airy laughter.
“Okay, if we don’t stop, I’m going to be late for work!”
Spencer just pouted in return.
“You’re the one who forgot it!”
“I didn’t realize it meant you’d come see me if I did,” he joked, “I would leave it behind more often.”
“Uh huh. Sure you would, Dr. Type A.”
JJ felt a bit strange, watching the encounter go down. It wasn’t really anything all that crazy. The team’s loved ones stopped by all the time. But something about the conversation felt so intimate. Then again, that was probably the same reason why they didn’t seem to care, or even notice, that people were watching.
“It’s nice seeing you,” Spencer muttered, conversely met with a drone.
“It’s been like an hour.”
“I can’t miss you over the course of an hour?”
“You’re so dramatic.”
This time Spencer’s pout wasn’t able to be ignored. His bottom lip stuck out so far that JJ could see it from several desks away, and it brought a smile to her face the same way that it propelled the other man forward, planting one more gentle kiss onto his lips.
“I’ll see you tonight,” he promised.
“I can’t wait,” Spencer promised back.
Just like that, the moment had ended, and the world returned to normal. Absolutely nothing changed except for the way Spencer’s smile had grown in intensity. No mention was made about the revelation everyone had just witnessed. And it felt right. It didn’t feel stifling or strange. There was simply a collective breath and an understanding that didn’t need to be expanded upon… for now.
But JJ was only human, and eventually she wanted to hear the stories she’d been missing out on. So, she waited. Patiently sitting and scouting for the perfect opportunity to bring up the topic with Spencer.
Then it happened. On their way home from a relatively mild case, JJ spotted the time she’d been waiting for. Spencer was sitting peacefully on the couch rather than lying dead asleep across it — a rare enough thing to justify her sitting down beside him. He had headphones clamped over his ears and his eyes were closed even after he felt her take a seat.
Assuming that he was waiting for the end to whatever he was listening to — and it must’ve been a remarkably joyful thing, judging by his smile — she stayed just like that, quiet and calm, until he looked at her again.
Any mercy quickly disappeared as soon as he removed the headphones, though, with JJ’s enthusiasm poorly hidden with a slow, steady cadence.
“So… your boyfriend looked really happy when he came by earlier this week.”
“Yeah. Only he would get excited to see me after I made him drive all the way over,” Spencer said with a quiet chuckle and that same, secretive smile he’d been sporting for a while now.
“Does he know you have a back-up badge?”
“Probably.”
JJ nodded, joining in the happiness that seemed to flow from her friend beside her. Just soaking in the way it felt when things were going well for Spencer Reid. Lord knew it didn’t happen often enough. But even then, with nothing but an accepting nod and a smile, he seemed unsettled.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you or explain. I just—” he started, but she cut him off before he got too far.
“Don’t apologize for that. It’s nobody’s business unless he wants it to be.” Then, deciding that it sounded just a bit too harsh, she added on a much gentler but still just as honest, “But I am glad he feels comfortable being around us. We really do miss seeing him around.”
“I’ll let him know,” Spencer whispered back. She wondered if she’d ever get used to seeing him so happy, or if things would eventually fizzle back to his normal excitement when it came to the people he loved.
“I honestly don’t even know if he thought about it before he came. Sometimes I feel like we get so wrapped up in our own little world that we forget other people can see us,” he continued, and this time, JJ committed all of her energy to listening to each and every word. She knew they were all important, that he’d just been waiting to find a moment where he could dump all of his feelings out at once.
She was always happy to be his sounding board. Especially now.
“Has it been weird?”
“Yeah… but in a really, really good way,” he answered, his inflection rising with each word like it was all a question. At the same time, he didn’t seem unsure about it at all.
“It’s just kind of crazy,” he explained, “Every day I get to learn something new about the man I love. Not everyone gets an opportunity like that, and I’m just really grateful that he gets a chance to finally be the person he’s always been.”
There was nothing for JJ to say or do other than lean forward and rest her elbows on her knees, hanging on every word and chuckle that poured from him like a river finally freed from the confines of an oppressive dam.
“Like the other day he woke up and was so excited about his beard, which was really just a few hairs, but I didn’t have the heart to tell him just yet. And I realized that one day I would get to help him learn how to shave, and tie a tie, and we could buy his first suit together!”
He only paused to take a breath, but then used it to continue singing praise to the workings of fate and any deity that brought the two of them together.
“Seriously, how many people get a chance to share those moments with the person they love? Not enough,” he concluded without hesitation.
Although she was happy to keep listening, the brief pause that followed practically begged her to respond. To demonstrate that she’d been listening and caring as much as she had been. To remind him that she, and the rest of the team, didn’t think any less of the two of them at the end of the day.
It was an easy assurance to give. There was no doubt at all.
“I’m sure it’s been hard on him, being alone. Considering you can’t really be there all that often.”
Spencer pouted at first, different from when he had in the office. This pout was one that resulted from insecurity and guilt bleeding through for just a second before it flashed away again. Because if there was one thing he knew, it was that he shouldn’t underestimate his own boyfriend.
“He’s the strongest person I know. If anything, I think I’m more of a mess about it than he is.”
They were both sure of that, but JJ had the courtesy not to mention it, opting to let him continue unhindered by commentary from the peanut gallery.
“I just can’t imagine how people can see him and think that there’s anything wrong with him. He’s always been the most amazing person I’ve ever known. It seems impossible to look at him and not fall in love, you know?”
JJ nodded once more, this time with an overwhelming amount of sympathy. Because while she only knew him through Spencer, she knew just how wonderful his boyfriend was. She’d seen firsthand how he’d changed her best friend into an even better version of himself. A happier, secure version that only seemed to improve every day that they spent together. And while she was also sure that Spencer had much more to say, she felt the tiredness seeping into his words as they grew sluggish and more solemn.
“I know I can’t stop everything bad that will happen to him, no one can do that for anyone. But I would have that fight a hundred times over, because the way it feels when he smiles when I say his name will always be worth it,” he said, letting the soft smile stretch across his cheeks at the same time tears gathered at his lashes.
Because he was picturing that smile, that look of unadulterated euphoria and joy that comes with being known. Being seen and accepted and loved. The feeling of holding the world in each other’s arms and knowing that things would always be okay.
He’d said earlier that they were in their own little world, and JJ took a mental snapshot of that look on her best friend’s face so that she would never forget how lucky she was to share it with them.
Before long, Spencer’s hands were fidgeting with the headphones again. It was clear that he was itching to put them back on, to repeat the same thing he’d clearly been listening to for hours. Which, now that the river had returned to its normal course, JJ felt free to inquire about like she’d wanted to before.
“So… What are you listening to, then?”
“What do you mean?” he asked, and she watched as the pink crept over his cheeks and up his neck. It was a plea for her to let it go, but, as usual, she refused to back down.
“You’ve been repeating the same track over and over for like an hour.”
“They’re… voice recordings,” he whispered through pursed lips that were trying not to give away just how embarrassed he was for getting caught.
“For science,” he clarified.
“Right, of course,” JJ said with narrowed eyes full of mercy, “Science.”
Still, he wouldn’t be himself if Spencer didn’t ramble about it for at least a little while. And there certainly was enough to say about the changes he’d gotten to experience as of late.
“Ever since he started testosterone I can hear the way his voice is changing and…” he trailed off, biting down on his lip and wiping his eyes that had grown too full of the best kind of feelings.
Although she was pretty sure she knew the answer, she still felt obligated to ask, “Do you miss his old voice?”
“No, that doesn’t matter to me. It’s still his voice,” he shrugged before his voice cracked and morphed into the happiest, sweetest sounding laughter.
“I just can’t wait to learn what it’ll sound like when my future husband tells me that he loves me,” Spencer blubbered through tears that fell without needing to ask for permission. The same way that JJ’s arms wrapped around him and her head rested on his shoulder, trying to share all of the joy she felt in that moment with the man she’d watched fall in love with the same person for the second time.
“There’s a lot that we don’t know yet, but I can’t wait to learn,” he said, hopeful and happy and everything good, “Because I know it’ll be the most beautiful thing.”