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pencil grazes—stolen glances

Summary:

Hyunjin draws a (very much good-looking) stranger from the corner of the library.

Notes:

i sincerely don't know how it got this long, i just insert my prompts into wheel decide and it landed on this, and i just wing it.

and it's been a while since i last wrote something (and by a while, i meant last month, but oh well) so i really don't know how this went ??

hope you enjoy tho !! i don't have a specific song that suits this fic, but i listened to this playlist and a lot of taylor swift's songs, especially 'sparks fly' <3

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It’s been almost a week since he went to the library. That’s more than the amount of his visit last year, even Seungmin was surprised and gave him a slight squeeze to his shoulder, saying “Finally getting it through the semester correctly, just ask me if there’s anything you need.”

 

Hyunjin felt like he was betraying Seungmin over this because in all honesty, he’s not there for any academic reason whatsoever, oh, it’s far from that.

 

Hyunjin chose to sit in the corner where he usually does, the perfect spot to hover through the whole library, sighting every kind of student that comes to the place— there are many, he concluded. 

 

Most of them do what students are supposed to do in a library, studying and reading, having probably what Hyunjin thinks are too many books stacked beneath each other, papers scattered through the table, and a water bottle ready by their side. Their hands usually find its way to their temples, massaging them slowly, as they mutter something that Hyunjin thought in his head as curses or maybe wistful regrets of: what the hell am I actually doing? Hyunjin saw these people a lot, Jisung, his own friend, being one of them.

 

Little others had their head wrapped in a hoodie, their backpacks in their lap, as they drifted to sleep. Hyunjin used to be one of those everytime Felix or Seungmin dragged him there, just the same as three days before the week when Seungmin had to search for books that were needed for a class, for God knows why Seungmin decided to drag him inside. Hyunjin was close asleep when something— or someone— caught his attention in a brown coat, the size a little too big.

 

He also found a hurdle of students who were genuinely enjoying the place. Reading books with a straight face, usually carrying a Starbucks cup by their hand, as if it was a place they could find serenity in (as it should be, Hyunjin prompted, but he wasn’t very sure. Every time he saw library books, he found it hard to find any peace in his mind.)

 

One of those students caught Hyunjin’s attention. A man in a long brown coat, palms covered creating sweater paws that warmed Hyunjin’s insides by the sight of it, one of his hand handling a Starbucks paper cup. As he sat down in the middle seats, placing the cup on the table, his other hand swiftly took a book from the bag he was carrying. Opening the pages slowly, occasionally sipping from the paper cup as he changed pages.

 

To say that Hyunjin was mesmerized was an understatement.

 

Hyunjin made it hard to not notice his hands already moving into his tote bag which was a size too narrow that he had to squeeze in his sketchbook inside to fit with all his other things— that Jisung complained it was too many for a student who barely takes notes in their class, but Jisung doesn’t have the rights to say that when all he does is doze off.

 

His eyes caught in the motions of this stranger, his hands already found a pencil inside the cracks of his tote bag, slowly moving them across the blank page of his sketchbook.

 

Ten minutes turned into an hour until Seungmin came back and the stranger stood up to leave the place. Seungmin was caught by surprise by Hyunjin that he thought would already leave him by the time he came back.

 

“Hey, I’m your greatest friend. Why would I leave you alone?” Hyunjin had said that earned a roll of eyes from the brunet, but a smile popped up nonetheless.

 

Seungmin bought him iced americano, after that. It was nice.

 

The next day, it was a mere coincidence as he opened the sketchbook with an unfinished scribble of the stranger in a brown coat. Hyunjin had strided to the library himself upon finding the cafe he usually visited heavy with customers and all of his friends (which was only Seungmin, Jisung, and Felix. A small number of friends, yes, but they’re still his friends regardless) were still in their respective class. 

 

Hyunjin would call it fate, but that was exaggerating— yet he couldn’t find any other way to phrase this meeting as the stranger he had sketched opened the door to the library, still with the same Starbucks cup in his left hand and an opened book.

 

The stranger was now in a different kind of brown coat, a checkered one. Dangling earrings that swished around when he walked. The man sat in the same spot and Hyunjin found himself already going through another blank page.

 

As time flew by, Hyunjin had come to the library any day he could and found that the stranger always comes during evenings.

 

Hyunjin was awestruck, maybe.

 


 

Hyunjin’s friends found out about his particular routine of sketching one particular stranger in the worst way possible. In the worst way possible either meant he had to go through a storm of embarrassment or Jisung— always Jisung.

 

The four of them had these occasional meetings where they gathered up, at least once or twice a month, to just talk about everything they went through— which wasn't much, but sometimes, there’s always too much detail poured through the cracks.

 

That month they decided to meet up at Felix’s place because the Australian had impulsively made brownies out of anxiety. Yeah, that was expected.

 

Jisung reminded them that he helped in baking them. Several times.

 

“You sure you didn’t make a mess instead?” Seungmin asked and Jisung pouted. Felix laughed, proceeding to say that Jisung had actually helped this time as Felix almost accidentally sprinkle half a cup of salt instead of sugar.

 

“So, Hyunjin? How’s your life?” Jisung was the first to speak up about Hyunjin as he was mostly staring at the ceiling the whole time.

 

“Bland as usual.” He replied, not really paying attention to the eyes that were focused at him.

 

“By usual, does that mean you’re messing around with strangers or whatever that thing you called?” 

 

“Ji!” Felix yelped.

 

Hyunjin made out a chuckle. Jisung had this particular perception of him before they befriended each other, Hyunjin ought to know how Jisung caught the idea of him going to clubs and ‘mess around’ any other day when there’s nothing close to a spark in Hyunjin’s boring life.

 

He had explained about it many times, but Jisung didn’t really care about it as he said along the lines of how he understood Hyunjin felt and that it was okay to search for relief.

 

Jisung earned a slap that day.

 

“No, not really. Just classes, nothing out of the ordinary.”

 

“Hyunjin started to go to the library for the past few weeks.” Seungmin said.

 

“What? With you?”

 

“No, by himself.” The answer earned a hum of surprise from probably Jisung, or maybe it was Felix, Hyunjin didn’t seem to care to sit up to actually see who it was.

 

He didn’t need to anyways, as by the next second Jisung was hovering over his body, his vivid blue hair falling across his humongous cheeks. A glint appeared in his eyes and a shit-eating grin spread wide across his annoying face.

 

“Get off, asshole. You’re covering the view.”

 

“I am the view. So, what’s going on in the library? You never go to the library willingly, even only for sleeping.”

 

“I already said that libraries aren’t a place for you guys to doze off, hell.” Seungmin groaned.

 

“Anyways,” Jisung ignored Seungmin’s annoyance. Seungmin, left ignored, picked up another brownie with his toothpick. “Bother to tell?”

 

You’re bothering me.” Hyunjin said as he smacked Jisung’s face away. Jisung proceeded to boo at him and picked another brownie to stuff his cheeks.

 

“He always had his sketchbook now, though.” Seungmin said and in that second, Hyunjin sat up to meet eye with Jisung. 

 

He noticed another glint that appeared in Jisung’s eyes— those glint that showed every time Jisung was up to something, for examples: when he spread cheer up post its around Seungmin’s room, or when Jisung decided to throw the birthday cake at Felix’s face (along the fact that he missed Felix’s face, but how it also ended up at Hyunjin’s instead. Hyunjin didn’t talk to him for a whole twenty minutes), or insert every one of Jisung’s antics— and Hyunjin realized a second too late because when he finally registered what Jisung was thinking, the boy had already rushed outside, throwing a toothpick towards him.

 

“Jisung, fuck you!” Hyunjin screamed as Jisung locked the bathroom door with Hyunjin’s tote bag in his hand.

 

“Hey, Hyunjin. Didn’t you buy this sketchbook over three months ago? You haven’t finished it— Oh, a sketch! Of a man! Oh!” Jisung’s voice echoed across the door.

 

“Jisung, open the door!” Hyunjin banged the door several times, maybe a little too hard that it caused Seungmin more annoyance from the last time they left him angered. 

 

“Shut off, Hyunjin. Jisung, get the fuck out!” Seungmin screamed, eyebrows knitted together.

 

“Wait~” Jisung said, still from across the door, voice child-like. Hyunjin could vividly imagine what Jisung was doing inside, ass on the sink, legs swinging, his fingers going through Hyunjin’s sketchbook, snickers slipping out of his mouth.

 

The door barely opened when Hyunjin opted to jump on Jisung, but Seungmin— of course, it was Seungmin— quickly percepted and pulled Hyunjin away. The other boy just grinned, striding away from the headlocked Hyunjin.

 

“Hey, Lixie. Look at Jinnie’s drawings.”

 

Felix smiled with his cheeks full of brownies, lips protruding to the front. “Ji, Hyunjin doesn’t like his drawings to be seen without his permission.”

 

Hyunjin wailed from beneath Seungmin’s arms. “Felix, I love you. You’re my bestest friend.”

 

Jisung whined, both of his hands coming to drape across Felix’s opened lap. “He drew a man, Lixie! Aren’t you curious on who he drew?”

 

Felix tilted his head on that, proceeding to ogle at the sketchbook in Jisung’s grasp before he came back to look at Hyunjin with that sparkly eyes of his that Hyunjin swore to get rid off if he doesn’t want to get his wallet rob every time they’re in the mall.

 

“Can we look at your drawings? Please, Jinnie?” And Hyunjin swore every single time the boy decided to take the path Hyunjin despised with his whole heart— the glossy eyes that contrasted with his deep voice, that one particular look that could sway even the principle-based Seungmin (Hyunjin is an easily swayed human being, he’s indecisive, and so?)

 

“I’m sure it’s great!” Felix exclaimed, a toothy grin looped up to the fair-skinned boy.

 

“It is great!” Jisung added, following the toothy grin the other boy had, cheeks coming up to the point it made his eyes crinkle. Hyunjin just wanted to pinch it away.

 

“It’s not great. It’s fine, I guess.” 

 

Felix yelped, scooting over to the space left beside Jisung, pushing the boy to sit up. Seungmin opted to sit at the other spot next to Jisung, squishing the squirrel in between as Hyunjin was still stuck in Seungmin’s hostage.

 

The drawings— mostly sketches and doodles, sometimes scribbles of texts that popped up in Hyunjin’s mind written in any other space left in the page— were barely sharp. Smudges across the pages were often seen as the way Hyunjin held the pencil made his skin meet contact with the paper.

 

He focused on different aspects of the stranger on every occasion. Even though the first sketch was mostly of the stranger’s distinct features. The man’s jawline, sharp nose, and godly side profile that didn’t faze Hyunjin’s focus for an hour more or less.

 

“Woah.” Seungmin exclaimed in addition to the silence of the apartment that was previously only filled with the sound of flipping pages.

 

“Did you really spend a whole page just drawing whoever this person’s lips?” Jisung asked instead and Hyunjin clicked his tongue in response

 

“Yes, and what about it?”

 

“You’re so gay, man.”

 

“You’re literally the one who’s dating Felix and you call me gay?”

 

“Hey, I never said I’m not gay. I love Felix, he’s my baby.” Jisung’s hands moved to the fair-skinned boy and wrapped them fondly, peppering kisses across his freckles-filled cheeks.

 

“Love you, too, babe, but let’s focus on Jinnie’s drawings first.” Felix finaled as he left a peck on Jisung’s pout, who’s finger continued to fiddle at the edges of the paper. If he gets a paper cut, that’s not Hyunjin’s problem.

 

“I feel like I saw this stranger’s somewhere..” Seungmin spoke up as they came to the latest page, a sketch of the man, mostly focusing on the Starbucks paper cup and the hands circling around it. How was Hyunjin able to focus his whole brainhood on the Starbucks paper cup? Hyunjin wouldn’t know, but inspiration and muse does wonders.

 

“I mean, he’s probably also from our uni, that’s obvious enough. Maybe you saw him in a class or something.” Hyunjin took back the sketchbook, hitting Jisung with it before. Jisung wailed and touched his head. Felix laughed as he caressed the other. Hyunjin wondered how Felix could ease up to the burden of Jisung’s existence. 

 

“Yeah, that could be. I still found him oddly familiar, though.” Seungmin frowned, placing his chin on his palm. Eyebrows meeting each other at it ends.

 

Hyunjin chuckled and patted Seungmin’s head softly. “You’re thinking too hard, Min. Now, let’s finish our brownies and go on with our own respective lives, now should we?”

 


 

Having to be the single one of your friend group is a blessing as much as it’s a pain.

 

Hyunjin had been dealing with it for at least five years now, he’d been complaining much with it, both Seungmin and Felix’s hearing had their limit to listen to Hyunjin’s never ending rant.

 

But he digressed as he found out the somewhat of their respective boyfriends— Jisung and Chan were two packs of a mess, in their own different ways. Hyunjin guessed it was fine to be non-boyfriend for a while as long as he does find his significant other, at least, Hyunjin could bear on whoever it would be. 

 

Oh, did he speak too soon.

 

On that particular date, it was a simple day of morning classes and iced americano. Not fully feeling well enough to stay at the cafe as he strided to the library.

 

In the library, there was barely an existence seen outside of the librarian and one or two students in his line of sight. The stranger of his own was none to be found, of course, it was Friday afternoon, why would one be at a library at that time?

 

He opted to sit in the middle where the stranger usually was. Having the ice americano in his hand and sitting it on the table.

 

He wasn’t really fond of being in the centre of gravitational pull. Being in the middle spot of where anyone could see, Hyunjin could feel all eyes directing to him as if he was something of an artwork— both aweing and judging.

 

The stranger would've creeped away if he ever found out about Hyunjin's activities.

 

He decided to just outline his sketches and maybe coloring them in if he had time until he has to go and meet Seungmin on his impulsive book buying escapades. Chan would probably be there, dragged outside of his hermit by Seungmin just because. And Hyunjin would have to third wheel. Again.

 

He was more than okay as long as Seungmin bought him another drink and maybe a meal, and also dessert. That would be great.

 

Somewhere along his time of outlining, he somehow dozed off. The silence of the area lulled him deeper to sleep and when he felt the vibration by his cheek, he jerked awake. Aware enough to not yelp in surprise— he can’t be kicked out and banned from the library, that’s far from what he intended to.

 

“Hyunjin, I’ve been waiting for you for 10 minutes. Where the fuck are you?”

 

The screaming from across the phone made him fully conscious, quickly cleaning up all the things he had scattering around the table, mumbling out an apology, and fast enough to walk outside the library.

 

He caught up on his late meeting to find out that Chan did come to the bookstore Seungmin had many times reminded and spammed Hyunjin on. Little difference was that Seungmin didn’t drag him and Chan just appeared out of nowhere, and Hyunjin had to witness the two making out in the front of a literal bookstore.

 

Hyunjin had enough, but it was all fine. Hyunjin just irked away and made the two promise to buy him churros and waffles (they kept their promise. Bonus, Hyunjin ended up having a sleepover at their place, even though he slept on the couch for the night).

 

Hyunjin’s life was bland, normal enough. He guessed.

 


 

hyunjin

did jisung steal my sketchbook again

 

lixie

idk ask him

 

hyunjin

jisung did you fucking steal my sketchbook again

 

seungmong

he’s in class right now

 

quokka boi 

no i didn't

 

seungmong

… 

you’re supposed to be in class, ji

 

quokka boi

and i am! 

[attached image]

 

seungmong

then go focus in class ????

 

quokka boi

poor jinnie lost his sketchbook i need to help him

 

hyunjin

simply answer 

did you or did you not steal them

 

quokka boi

no   

i did not

 

hyunjin

then where the FUCK is it

 

quokka boi

how should i know i didn't steal it

 

lixie

when did you last see it, jinnie?

 

hyunjin

idk the last time i went to the library probably which was a week ago

i think ???

when i had to meet seungmin

 

seungmong

that was four days ago

 

hyunjin

it was ???? 

idk man i haven't left my house except for classes i had to finish my essays

 

quokka boi

sucks to be you

 

lixie

you probably left it there then?? 

do you want me to go there and ask?

 

hyunjin

no, i’ll go there by myself this evening

thanks though lix <3

 

seungmong

don't forget to eat lunch 

or starve to death

 

hyunjin

ok <3

 

quokka boi

do i not get a heart 

 

hyunjin

what did you do to deserve a heart

 

quokka boi

i’m in class 

surviving

 

hyunjin

sucks to be you 

<3

 


 

“Sorry, there weren't any sketchbooks collected four days ago.”

 

Hyunjin had to clench his fist to maintain a smile and thank the librarian. Slowly backing up to his usual sit in the corner, dreading the situation he was in. 

 

It’s okay, it was only a sketchbook— he could just buy another one. Like he always does. There were still many empty ones stacked under his table in his bedroom. It was okay , he convinced himself as he melted to the sit and let his head fall to his arms on the table.

 

Hyunjin doesn’t even have anything to do now that his sketchbook is gone from existence and the stranger nowhere to be found. He might as well go home, but it was still evening. Maybe he should crash Felix’s place or maybe annoy Seungmin again. Everything could work.

 

“Hey, can I sit here? The other seats were all taken.” Hyunjin heard someone near him, but he didn’t care. Wallowing to the table even further, not looking up from the insides of his hoodie.

 

Fingers nudged him softly in the shoulders, but Hyunjin swatted them away. Piercing his eyes as he looked up just to freeze in his seat.

 

Fuck.

 

“Can I sit here?” The man said and Hyunjin was only capable to respond with a whimper, melting into his seat yet again, wishing that he was probably dreaming or hallucinating because of his lack of oxygen— that would be better than anything all the reality reeling right in front of his eyes.

 

“I take that as a yes.” The man said again as he pulled back the seat, proceeding to sit on it, like what was he supposed to do other than that? Hyunjin nodded and silenced himself, trying to look away.

 

Hyunjin found it hard to not to stare at the man sitting right in front of him. The usual features that he could only see from the side, now gaze falling on Hyunjin and smiling. At him.

 

It made it harder for Hyunjin to break eye contact, but he digressed.

 

“Here’s your sketchbook, by the way.” The man said, taking out the light blue sketchbook that Hyunjin concluded was his. “No worries, I didn’t see any of the contents.”

 

The statement came out of nowhere that it made Hyunjin think that this stranger that filled every space of his sketchbook did see the contents of his sketchbook. 

 

It made him flushed red. Maybe not red, just a slight tint of blush pink. 

 

“...thank you.” Hyunjin was able to say and the stranger still smiled at him that he wanted to whip his pencil out and draw it to last longer or tattoo it somehow, engraved in his mind.

 

“No worries. Well, I did worry a bit since you didn’t come here for days and I had to somehow search for you on my own. Anyways, does this artist have a name?”

 

“Ah, I’m sorry. I kinda had things. To work on. And ‘artist’ is kind of a stretch. Yeah. Uh, my name is Hyunjin.” He said, surprised that his voice didn’t even waver or stutter. “Uhm, how did you know it was mine?”

 

The man chuckled again. “Well, you kind of come here every day and I just saw you, I guess. You’re sometimes so focused on drawing that you don’t notice someone looking at you.”

 

Hyunjin nodded, looking down and grasping at his sketchbook and pinching his skin awake— nothing happened as he still felt a pair of eyes attached to him.

 

“I’m Minho, by the way. Nice to meet you.” The man said, and Hyunjin figured he has to, at least, say it back to him, right? That’s what a normal human being does when they introduce themselves to each other, right?

 

He looked up, gathering the courage to say ‘nice to meet you, too’ a minute too late and act like a normal human being as one should be, just to see the other man already drifting to focus, his gaze only directed to the book in his hold.

 

Hyunjin sighed, in relief or disappointment, he couldn’t tell, but he went on with his life as he took out a scrap of sticky note from the bottom of his bag. A ballpoint pen which he knew wasn’t his because he doesn’t use them, probably one that Jisung bought from a stall by the streets or stole from a hotel. Sketching the man in front of him in secrecy—at least he tried to, but minding Minho’s focus that was mostly on the book, he guessed he didn’t mind.

 

He opted to draw his whole face, but that would be too weird— given the circumstances of Minho finding out how Hyunjin had been staring at him the whole time— so he drew myriads of flowers covering his eyes, carnations and petals of roses drawn into the limited space.

 

The sketch was barely evident and Hyunjin didn’t know what he was supposed to do with the scrap of paper. Yet he proceeded to straighten his arm, just long enough for the other to notice his token of gratitude in the form of wrinkled paper.

 

The stranger— Minho— tilted his head as he stared back and forth from Hyunjin to the light pink sticky note Hyunjin promptly stole from Felix. 

 

Hyunjin’s heart was beating too hard he might as well wished it stopped beating. 

 

Then, Minho smiled. “Who’s this?”

 

Hyunjin’s hand found its temporary spot at the back of his neck. His ramblings turned into a whole string of uncoordinated mess and he just wanted to Stop. “Just someone. Nothing important— I mean, it’s you, I guess. Well, it’s a drawing of you. I think. I tried. As a thankyou. I don’t know. I’m sorry” 

 

Hyunjin couldn’t let his gaze still on the man in front of him and found the wooden floor more interesting now. The fact that he just noticed that day that floor was a wooden floor surprised him more.

 

Until Minho lets out a chuckle and softly say “Thank you. I’ll keep it.” as he proceeded to stick them inside the book he was reading, its edges peeking from the pages. 

 

“Then, I had to return the favor now, do I?” Hyunjin looked up and shook his head, waving his hands apart that came unnoticed. Minho took out a scratch filled paper, turned them over, and ripped the empty chunk apart.

 

“Can I borrow your pen?” Hyunjin nodded a little too hard as he offered the ballpoint pen (and now he will always keep this ballpoint around.)

 

Minho scribbled something on the paper, then stood up. Smiling at Hyunjin who was only able to smile back. 

 

“I’ll see you more often, I guess, Hyunjin.” He said as he left Hyunjin alone in the corner of the library with a ripped piece of paper of jumbled numbers and a doodle of a cat beside it.

 

When Hyunjin came home with the ripped paper still in his hold and just staring at them silently on the bed, he finally noticed that the numbers weren’t jumbled nor random, it was a phone number that made Hyunjin gasped too hard he choked on air.

 

What the fuck.

 


 

Hyunjin gathered the courage to click the send button an hour before midnight after calling Jisung in a panic because Seungmin didn’t answer.

 

Jisung only said “Get it together, gay. Just click send!” like that could be much of a help and they ended the call, Hyunjin clicking the send button and screaming right away.

 

He felt like a high school kid who’s going to marry a band member. God, does he feel bad and really, really dramatic.

 

hyunjin

is this minho?

 

minho (?)

if this is hyunjin, it’s minho hyung for you

and yes, maybe this is minho

depends on who’s talking

 

hyunjin

you’re weird

i could just

fake myself as hyunjin because you brought up the name

 

minho (?)

well, that’s a shame

i’d like to talk more with hyunjin from the library

 

hyunjin

a shame, indeed

but this is minho from the library right…?

 

minho (?)

mayhaps

before you ask any question, i can validate myself

your sketchbook is light blue

 

hyunjin

what if you’re lying

i carry that sketchbook around, you know

 

minho (?)

pink sticky note

[attached image]

 

hyunjin

well then i guess you’re not lying

unless you're kidnapped or something

 

minho (?)

yeah, i’m kidnapped

send all of your money

 

hyunjin

a shame i’m a broke student

guess minho would be forever in kidnap

 

minho (?)

first, fuck you

second, booo broke

third, call me hyung dumbass i’m pretty sure i’m older than you

fourth, I’m expecting to see you tomorrow ;)

last, go to sleep kid it’s literally midnight

bye

 


 

From that point of time, messages were exchanged and conversations were had, and Hyunjin self-proclaimed that he matched with Minho a lot.

 

From the messages and conversations snippets he had when Minho was reading and Hyunjin was simply staring and sketching and glancing and scribbling are that:

 

 

 

 

a) Minho likes to read. A lot. (That was obvious enough.)

 

b) Minho likes to listen to music too, but in the library, he just lets the silence seeps in and lets them be. Mostly because he gave his earphones to Changbin, a friend of his, that keeps on losing them— to avoid his friend to buy another new one because apparently he already bought four new ones and was able to lose them all.

 

c) Minho always gets either hot americano or hot chocolate from Starbucks.

 

d) His laugh is adorable. The ones where the corner of his eyes wrinkle together and the ones where he laughs loud enough, he was able to get the two kicked out of the library, ended up having to separate ways from the park that was barely visited by students there.

 

e) He has small hands and fingers shorter than Hyunjin’s. (And maybe Hyunjin wanted to pull them further in, intertwining them together, but that was an image too far from reality— Minho just wanted to compare their hand sizes, that’s all.)

 

f) Has Hyunjin ever mentioned his smiles? Well, Minho’s smiles are cute. And pretty. And sometimes small. And really, really pretty. 

 

Hyunjin had to backtrack to notice the two had been sharing seats in the library. Sometimes it was Minho who came earlier, more than often it was Hyunjin being too eager to see Minho again with nose scrunched up, waiting for the door to open up with the being that became too familiar.

 

The fact that sometimes Seungmin or Felix had to drag Hyunjin out of the library wasn’t ignored (and to only realize that Seungmin found Minho familiar was because Minho was a friend of Chan), Minho waved him away, sending yet another cat video in their chatroom by the night. 

 

Hyunjin wasn’t a cat person, but he watched every single one of them, anyways.

 

“You’re whipped.” Jisung said, knocking out the soda cans they put into a formation of bowling pins, proceeding to flood the bathroom tiles with soda. 

 

“No, I’m not.” And they both knew that was wrong, that Hyunjin was lying too much. Hyunjin didn’t care as he knocked over one last standing soda can. Later that night, Felix came home with a raging Seungmin, scolding them both for tainting the floor.

 

“It’s expired.” Jisung mumbled, collecting all the cans scattered around the bathroom. How Jisung even got expired sodas weren’t questioned, it was usual enough. Hyunjin bend down, taking the can that rolled under the sink

 

His phone vibrated and Hyunjin opened them like a normal human being, just to proceed to be the eccentric being that he was by gasping and flapping his arms in the air, catching the attention of the other three when he read the pop up message.

 

mingo

hey can you come with me to the bookstore tomorrow

?

 

“Oh my god, Hyunjin, that’s a date!” Felix yelped from behind his shoulder, jumping together with Jisung as Seungmin shook his head in exhaustion, but a smile came out, nevertheless.

 


 

quokka boi

and then he yelled at me because i didn’t do the work he never told me to work on??

what am i supposed to do??

anyways i finished that said work 

 

lixie

good job babe <3

 

hyunjin

[attached image]

[attached image]

choose

wait one more

[attached image]

 

quokka boi

ooo pretty jinnie

the second one

 

hyunjin

ok i’ll go with the other two

 

quokka boi

:<

 

lixie

you look great in all jinnie !!

but you look cute in the first one

 

seungmong

don’t you people have any classes whatsoever

 

hyunjin

i have a class by two and that’s it

thanks lix <3

 

lixie

i’m on my way to class minnie <3

 

quokka boi

i’m in class rn

 

seungmong

omfg

anyways i vote first

what’s it for anyways

 

lixie  

it’s for the date with minho !!!!

 

hyunjin

it isn’t a date

thanks min <3

 

seungmong

then why are you dressing up if it isn’t a date

 

hyunjin

because i can

 

quokka boi

it’s a date it’s a date

 

lixie

hyunjin date day !!!

enjoy your date jinnie !!!!

 

quokka boi

i’m praying for you to get kisses

then i’ll crash at your place with popcorns in hand

but i’m now praying that i won’t get caught by my prof

 

seungmong

i’ll come and you’ll tell us everything 

now ji focus in the freaking class

 

hyunjin

hope you get caught <3

it isn’t a date 

and kisses??? no what??? he’s literally my friend

 

quokka boi

*crush

 

hyunjin

**friend

 

quokka boi

:>

 

seungmong

ji, class

 

quokka boi

:<

 


 

Hyunjin walked to the bookstore in the city Minho had sent the location of as the elder had work to do beforehand. Pulling the sweater down, his hands covered by the length of it.

 

The city makes him wonder sometimes. The city that is sometimes too big and too small for him to stand up and wander aimlessly. The city that is too crowded yet it’s still able to feel a lone entity in an otherwise vast universe. The city that is familiar, but also not—

 

The city makes him wonder sometimes— when they decided to let two people meet and become entangled in the breath they shared together, when they decided being alone was enough, when they decided that life is big yet small, packed yet empty, familiar yet peculiar, all the same.

 

He feels the same, particular way when he's with Minho, somehow.

 

Hyunjin finally saw Minho running up to him five minutes later. 

 

“Hey, sorry, I had to drop Jeongin in the way and the brat was taking forever to prepare.” Minho said, finally looking up to see Hyunjin in the eyes. “You look cute today.”

 

Hyunjin snickered. “Well, you look—” Cute. Cool. Pretty. Really, really pretty. Every word that could describe a good-looking person faded into the air because Hyunjin couldn’t just mention them to the elder that was looking at him expectantly, because Minho was more than pretty with his striped T-shirt and white thin shirt as outerwear.

 

“What do I look like, Hyunjin?”

 

Hyunjin stared at Minho too long, did he?

 

“You look cool,” Hyunjin said. “I guess.” Minho arched his eyebrows.

 

“You guess?”

 

“Yeah.” Hyunjin stepped back, the tip of his ears heating up. “I guess. So, are we going inside or not?”

 

Minho laughed, stepping forward, closer to where Hyunjin was and pushed the door open.

 

The bookstore was small, not the typical mall type bookstore that had many aisles of many more shelves, books all categorized into their respective own. This bookstore had some books on the floor, still a somewhat coordinated mess. The kind of bookstore that was owned by someone that cherished everything inside.

 

And Hyunjin loves it, somehow. 

 

Especially the way Minho greeted the old man behind the counter and smiled brightly, the way his face beamed up under the dim lights and soaring shelves, the way he tugged Hyunjin forward to get to the far back of the store, the way Minho smiled at him and showed where the art supplies were.

 

“The variations are limited though, but I just guessed you would’ve wanted to do something while I check the books out.” Minho said, his eyes sparkling again when Hyunjin nodded and he strided to the last row of aisles, immediately looking up to the stacked books.

 

And Hyunjin smiled, glancing at the man whose nose was behind a book, then looked down to the lined up stationeries.

 

He probably should buy a colored pen or two.

 


 

“Hey, what do you think about this place?” Minho spoke up. Hyunjin had found his way to be beside him, following Minho to see the books they were interested in.

 

“It’s nice.”

 

Minho let out a sigh and also a smile. “I’m glad.”

 

“Why?”

 

Minho put down and took out another book from the shelves. “I was worried you won’t like the place, it’s probably different from where you often go. I mean, city people and their whereabouts. Also since you don’t really go to the library often, don’t you?”

 

Hyunjin froze. “What does that mean?”

 

“Hyunjin, I’ve always come to the library. I mean, I probably spent the majority of my uni days there. Then, that day you were there in the corner with a grey hoodie, all wrapped up with that tiny pencil of yours in your hand.”

 

“You noticed me?”

 

“I don’t randomly notice people, Hyunjin. You didn’t notice how loud your sketching was. The whole library probably noticed, except yourself.”

 

Hyunjin flushed pink. “I was being that loud?”

 

“Yeah, you were.” Minho chuckled. He put down a book with the rest of the three he had separated. “But I’m glad you were.”

 

Hyunjin hummed in question. “Why?”

 

Minho looked aside to where Hyunjin was and the silence seeped in, only the sound of coins being flinged around. A smile slipped in and Minho shrugged.

 

“I guess it’s because now I could ask you to come here with me.”

 

Minho took the four books from the floor and walked away, Hyunjin being left alone in his thoughts that were running off to a place in his mind Felix mentioned when he met Jisung in a class they shared, when Seungmin talked with the owner of the dog he always pet in the park, when Hyunjin sketch Minho in his sketchbook, when Minho was simply an unnamed muse.

 

Hyunjin ended up buying a book, two sticky notes, and three colored pens while Minho bought four books to himself.

 

The two went to the convenience store at the mere time of 7 PM. Candies and frozen cakes in their hands as they sit down at the dirty table in front of the store.

 

Minho patted his head and stroked his hair softly when whipped cream find its way to the edge of his hair, proceeding to pull the edges just because he could (because Minho likes to annoy him) (because Hyunjin annoys him back by kicking his ass or slapping his arm) (because Hyunjin lets him anyways) before they parted ways.

 

Minho sent him out another message.

 

min hyung

be careful on the way back kid

and don’t go watch weird videos until midnight

 

And Hyunjin smiled in the middle of the road, stopped on his track and replied.

 

hyunjin

ok old man

 


 

“You’re talking to your Minho hyung again, aren’t you?” 

 

Hyunjin looked up, three pairs of eyes on him. It was Jisung who spoke up, peeking to the phone in his hand that opened to a particular chatroom.

 

“What about it?”

 

“You have that lovesick expression of yours, the one that appeared when you facetime with Kkami. Kind of sad for Minho that his boyfriend looks at him the same way he does to a dog.” Jisung rambled, putting down the last UNO card in his hand.

 

“UNO game!” Jisung screamed and stood up, throwing a grape into his mouth while Hyunjin’s face heated up.

 

“You fucking cheated!” Felix screamed and pulled Jisung down. “Where was the yellow card you had? You talked to Hyunjin just so you can swap them didn’t you?”

 

“No, I didn’t.” Jisung stuck out his tongue and Seungmin stood up, throwing his cards away, and rolling his eyes. “How did you know it was yellow, anyways? Oh my god, Felix, you cheated too!”

 

The background of Felix’s freckle turned pink, it was very much visible. “No, I didn’t! You did!”

 

“Oh my god, my boyfriend cheated. Felix cheated!”

 

“Jisung, shut up!”

 

“Both of you cheated and both of you shut up.” Seungmin responded, a glare towards the two who turned into stone. “What were you talking about with your boyfriend?”

 

“He’s not my boyfriend!”

 

Jisung knitted his eyebrow as he melted into Felix’s chest, both splaying on the floor. “He hasn’t asked you out yet? What the hell, he’s even worse than Chan hyung.”

 

“Take Chan hyung out of this.” Seungmin complained. “But yeah, Minho hyung is kind of worse than Channie hyung.”

 

“We’re friends! Minho hyung and I are friends, okay?”

 

“Don’t you two cuddle together or something?” This time it was Felix, one of his hands raking through Jisung’s blue hair. 

 

“...I did, but I cuddle with all of you, too.” He mumbled, falling even further to the solid wall behind him.

 

“Yeah, sure, but you don’t want to kiss us now, do you?”

 

“I— I never said I wanted to kiss him.” 

 

“But you thought about it. Am I correct?” Jisung said, his fingers twirling around Felix’s wrist.

 

“You’re.. wrong.”

 

“Say that to your sketchbook filled with Minho.” Jisung sighed. “You never even draw us even though you rarely see us. I’m starting to reconsider who’s your actual friend.”

 

“He barely even sees us a day yet he meets Minho hyung everyday and still draws him.” Seungmin followed behind, echoing the sigh. 

 

“I— Fuck you.” He said as it was the only thing that came up to mind.

 

And the conversation spiraled inside his mind three days after as he slowly curled himself smaller, tugging the hem of Minho’s cardigan to stop the elder from watching cat videos. It seemed so distant, past and present—how did they get so close and why does Hyunjin still wants to spend every single page of his sketchbook of the man that’s now poking at his sides, Hyunjin struggling to wriggle out, laughing breathlessly against the tickles targeted at him.

 

“Fuck! Hyung, stop— Hyung, I’m tired!” Hyunjin shrieked and Minho pinned him down on the bed, a grin all plastered up, erasing the sparkles in his eyes. Hyunjin breathed out beneath him.

 

Hyunjin wonders how and when and why—

 

“Get off my bed, asshole. Go to your home, for fuck’s sake.”

 

Hyunjin swatted Minho’s hands away and stuck out his tongue. Leaving the place of the elder’s who now occupy every day of his calendar, Minho trailing behind as he patted the back of his motorcycle, signaling Hyunjin to come up as always during Sunday evenings.

 

Hyunjin lets him be, anyways.

 


 

During one night when insomnia washed him whole, Minho had him meet at the abandoned playground. Chuckling softly to the creaking sound the swings they sat on made. Crying away the exhaustion that swept him away. Sniffling to the sweet nothings Minho whispered into his ears, to the hand that softly patted his head and pushed him to the crook of the elder’s neck.

 

That night, Hyunjin learned another thing or maybe two from Minho, adding them to the neverending list of all things Minho.

 

 

 

g) Minho doesn’t hug often, but it was warm and tight and Hyunjin melted into the touch.

 

h) Minho smells like a mixture of mint and tangerines and chocolate and Hyunjin decided he likes that.

 

 


 

On a Tuesday night, Minho ended up laughing too hard (again) in the supposed silence library that they ended up at the bench in the nearby park.

 

“You got us kicked out of the library again, asshole. Oh my god, I’m going to be banned from going there ever again.” Hyunjin complained, his arms stacking beneath each other.

 

“Hey, it’s not like you even read. All you do is draw there.” 

 

“And?” Hyunjin stuck out his tongue and Minho had to pinch his thighs to make him shut up. That didn’t work because all Hyunjin did was shriek even louder.

 

“Hyunjin, you’re always so loud, for fuck’s sake. We’re in public.”

 

Hyunjin whimpered, brushing his inner thigh. “You were the one who started it.”

 

“Oh, did I?” Minho leaned in as an act to annoy Hyunjin even more, but recently— no, always, he felt it was too close that he had to look away, even though the gaze lingered a second later. And it always goes like that— Minho would lean his face closer to Hyunjin’s to annoy him, they stare a second too long, and Hyunjin would look away, Minho following his steps and making distance.

 

But now Minho stayed seconds more in his place, and he stayed there just looking before finally sitting back down again.

 

“I never saw what you draw in your sketchbook.”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Your sketchbook.” Minho pointed to the tote bag placed on Hyunjin’s lap. “I never saw them. What you drew inside.”

 

Hyunjin looked down to his tote bag and took the sketchbook out just to stare at it.

 

“I mean, it’s okay if you don’t want to. I was just curious, I guess.”

 

“You guess?” Hyunjin chuckled.

 

Minho let out a smile that formed a straight line. “Yeah. I guess I want to know what you’re drawing that could make you focus so much because you have the worst attention span. Like I already know somewhat of your drawing style from the sketches you drew on sticky notes you gave me. Hell, I even still keep it in my drawers.”

 

“No need to drag me— Wait, you still keep them?”

 

Under the streetlights, Minho’s ears turned pink. “Yeah.” He paused, fidgeting under his oversized blue sweater. “I still have them.” He paused again, but continued with a laugh. “It’s not an everyday thing for artists to draw you. I guess, artists only draw what they see is meaningful? I don’t know, I’m not an artist.”

 

“Again, ‘artist’ is a stretch. I just draw as a hobby and—” Hyunjin paused to look down at his sketchbook. “I guess I do draw what I think is meaningful.” 

 

Minho laughed breathlessly. “You guess.”

 

“Yeah.” Hyunjin chuckled, he always guesses— because he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know whether everything is real or he was actually still sleeping in the corner of the library, waiting for Seungmin to wake him up. Whether it was actually Minho was the one holding his hand right now, brushing against the knuckles, and Hyunjin had to hold his breath.

 

“Here,” Hyunjin offered the sketchbook to Minho whose eyes widened before he could think any further. “But don’t laugh at me. Please.”

 

“You sure? I swear I won’t laugh at you, but you seemed hesitant.” Minho asked.

 

“I thought you wanted to see them. I’m taking it back—”

 

“Brat. No, I still want to see them, give it to me.” Minho took the sketchbook from his hand and he wished time to freeze just so Hyunjin could run away from this park, but he could only stare when Minho opened through the pages.

 

“God, I’ve already seen your drawings, but they— hey, this looks like my coat. And this one. And this— Oh. Hyunjin, oh fuck.”

 

Hyunjin squeezed his eyes shut. “I know you’ll see me as a creep and I’m really sorry for that, but I can’t help it, you were, I don’t know, cool—” his sentence got caught off by the sudden pressure on his lips and Hyunjin opened his eyes to see Minho attaching his with his eyes closed.

 

Minho leaned back and sighed. “I— Oh my god, I should’ve asked you first. I was— You should’ve told me that you were drawing me? I would’ve asked you out sooner? Hyunjin, I—”

 

Hyunjin leaned in, leaving a peck in the elder’s lips whose ears turned red even if Hyunjin’s face was probably burning more.

 

“God, I fucking hate you.” Minho said as he leaned in again, his fingers ghosting on his jaw. The scent of mint and tangerines floated against Hyunjin’s senses as he melted into the touch. He heard echoes of his names in the back of his neck, but he couldn’t care less— he tugged Minho’s sweater, pulling him closer.

 

Minho’s tongue brushed against his, Hyunjin sighed, parting them apart and surged forward. His fingers slowly curl to Minho’s hair. The elder pushed him forward, his hands going down to Hyunjin’s waist, and he finally pulled back.

 

“I forgot we’re still in the park.” Minho muttered, sitting back down.

 

“Freak.” 

 

“Creep.” Minho added and chuckled, pulling Hyunjin up, their hands intertwining and Hyunjin looked down to where it was, swinging them together.

 

“So, are we, like, dating now? Or…?”

 

Minho rolled his eyes. “Hyunjin for fuck’s sake.”

 

“I’m sorry, I need reassurance.” He whined.

 

“Jinnie, is it gay to kiss your friend out of nowhere?”

 

“Gay. Totally gay. I guess.” Hyunjin answered and Minho laughed, his eyes sparkling and Hyunjin couldn’t get enough. 

 

“Love you, Jinnie.”

 

Hyunjin hummed. The big grin slowly fading, but never losing, a small smile still there.

 

“Say it back, brat.” Minho tugged their hands.

 

“No.” Hyunjin said, sticking out his tongue again to the elder. Minho whined and Hyunjin pulled apart, running away from Minho who started to jab his sides again. 

 

And the lists-filled pages never ended, time was still so long, but Hyunjin added a bullet point beside a sketch of a cat and many flowers, and Minho kissed him softly on his forehead, their hands never leaving each other’s warmth. Hyunjin smiled in his sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i) love you, too

 

 


 

quokka boi

[attached video]

 

seungmong

?!?!????!?!?

wth did i just watch

 

lixie

omg cute

and freaks

 

seungmong

please don’t makeout in public 

hyunjin, i beg

 

quokka boi

he even ignored my calls

heart been broken 💔💔

 

hyunjin

well mine’s not <3

 

seungmong

thank god

please say you didn’t makeout or proceed even further in public

 

hyunjin

ofc no

we continued it in minho’s place <3

he’s right beside me

hello chan hyung’s brats -min

 

quokka boi

omg gross

hello too -han

 

lixie

you don’t need to sign your name ???

 

quokka boi

minho did it too

 

hyunjin 

[attached image]

<3

 

lixie

aww you two are cute

 

quokka boi

[attached image]

jilix can do that too :<

 

seungmong

omg can you two just Stop

[attached image]

chan hyung sent that

 

hyunjin

ew 

oh since i’m here 

can you tell me when you’re visiting chan hyung in his studio

i keep on barging to you two on the couch doing

you know

-min

 

quokka boi

???!?!??!?!?

 

seungmong

fuck you.

Notes:

hi again. this is actually the first fic i wrote that exceeded 5k words and i got really overwhelmed somehow hdhdhs i projected myself into this but i hope you enjoyed tho !! do leave kudos or comments if you did !! <3

and the final week of february was a mess, but thankfully, i was able to hang on— and i hope you do too! take care of yourself, take a rest, drink tea/coffee/water, and stay safe (also stream while you're at it if you can) <3