Archive of Our Own

When Hal was born, the only hint of a future painting on his skin had been a blue-ish spot on the back of his right shoulder. It wasn’t unusual for babies to only have the smallest hint of color to announce the future half of a painting that would appear on their skin.

Indeed, paintings usually kept evolving until you turned 18 but stopped to develop if your soulmate died before you reached that day.

Back in the academy, Hal had more or less dated a guy with a half-finished painting. Well, a half of a half-finished painting, really, since everyone only had a half of a painting on their bodies. Well, some people had a third of a painting, but Hal wasn’t aware of it then and anyway that wasn’t his pseudo boyfriend’s case.

The young man’s painting was beautiful, full of colored abstract shapes and symbols. A Kandinsky painting, Hal would realize later. It never would get finished. Johnson would never meet someone with a complementary half-painting. Or if he had already met them, it was too late to make his and theirs match.

But somehow, Johnson had ended up marrying, had two kids and a wife he loved, according to the reports of common friends. ‘You’re the only one who can doom yourself to eternal unhappiness.’ he had told Hal once as he had caught him looking at his side. Hal had shrugged and kissed the colored symbols on the exposed skin.

Hal’s own painting had developed to its full extent, covering the back of his right shoulder and some of his arm as well as some of the upper part of his back.

Over the light blue background that took place on Hal’s skin in his early childhood, branches had started growing slowly - Hal used to watch them daily to notice every little changement. Soul paintings were endless sources of excitement for young minds. Buds had started to appear on Hal’s skin when he was a young teenager. They had blossomed until his eighteenth birthday.

By then, Hal had lost interest in the painting. He knew which painting it referenced but wasn’t actively looking for someone who could have a part of the painting matching with his on their back. He had met someone who had a similar pattern to his, once, but the woman had it on her leg, and it seemed to match her companion’s entirely.

And after that, Hal had just mostly forgotten about it. He knew it was there, he just didn’t mind it at all.

He didn’t know that many people who had found their soulmates and stuck with them. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he was hanging out with vigilantes and that those tended to lead solitary lives. According to the government, finding your soulmate and spending your life with them was a healthy and very normal thing.

Well, Hal knew some people who were soulmates and happy about it.
There were Arthur and Mera, obviously. Reportedly, their combined bodies formed The Great Wave Off Kanagawa. To this day, Hal wasn’t certain Oliver hadn’t been having him on with this one.

Oliver, who was also married to his soulmate. Like Lois and Clark were.

Okay, Hal actually knew many people who were happy with their soulmates. It still didn’t mean he had to find his. He wouldn’t even know where to start looking. So he didn’t look.

Sometimes, one of his dates asked about his soulmate. Did he know who it was ? Was he looking for them ? Could they be his ? They hadn’t identified their painting yet but there was like half a crown over some notes and doodles ? It looked like the water lilies that French guy painted in the early 20th century. Theirs was one of Pietr Mondrian’s compositions. No, no and no. It was never his painting that they described.

Hal got used to it. Sometimes, he would see someone with a painting by Van Gogh on visible skin walking down the street. He would smile at them, feeling close to those strangers for no other reason than a bit of painted skin.

Many people found the patterns on his skin rather pretty, Hal found out with the years. He was a bit teased about it in high school by guys who found it girly. Hal had just told them to fuck off. He did like the delicateness of the painting, the comfort you could take in the soft colors and peaceful drawing, the life symbolized by the growing tree.

Carol had a single flower on the back of her left hand, dead center. A poppy, who wasn’t meant to match with anyone else’s painting. It was a whole piece of art on its own. She didn’t care.

So Hal kept on living the way he had, ignoring the urge to look for his soulmate, armed with the knowledge that you could live happily without one. It just felt a bit lonely sometimes. He would catch the painting reflecting on the mirror in his bathroom and wonder what it would look like on someone else.

“How much do you know about flowers ?” Barry asked him in the meeting room once in a frantic tone.

Bruce and Hal had been on monitor duty and had been there early consequently. They had soon been joined by Barry, even if they would have to wait quite some time before the start of the meeting. It was uncharacteristic of the man to be there so early before a meeting. The speedster barely managed to make it on time most of the time.

“Go for red roses. They all go crazy for them.” Hal said.

Bruce snorted. Barry and Hal ignored him.

“I am not looking for advice. I mean, not of that kind. And women actually like when you put some thought into wooing them, Hal.” Barry objected to Hal’s proposition.

“Contrary to what you may think because of the looks, I don’t have a green thumb. Plants tend to die when you leave them alone for whole weeks, if not months.”

“Try cacti.” he heard Bruce muttering under his breath but ignored him.

“That’s not a gardening problem either. Look -” Barry started saying before he started to put off his uniform.

“I am flattered, truly, but I didn’t think you swung that way, sweetheart. I would have tried my luck earlier if I'd known, you should have told me.” Hal said, only half-joking, as Barry’s bare torso came to view.

Bruce cleared his throat. Hal shrugged, it was a bit rich from Bruce to find Hal's remarks inappropriate considering their history. Well, Barry couldn't know that so maybe Bruce was just pulling the wool over the speedster's eyes.

“Do you ever shut up ? Can you please have a look ?” Barry said, showing him his right side.

Hal looked more closely. It was the emplacement of Barry’s painting.

“Van Gogh’s Irises. What’s wrong with them ?” Hal asked, confused.

Why did Barry seem so stressed out ? His flowers looked perfectly normal. Well, some were missing but they were probably on Barry’s soulmate’s skin so that wasn't a big deal.

“You’re sure that’s why they’re called ? Irises ?” Barry insisted.

Hal rolled his eyes at him, not dignifying him with an answer.

“He’s right.” Bruce confirmed unnecessarily.

“Thank you. As I said, I am not into gardening but I know Van Gogh’s artwork quite well.” Hal admitted, touching his own shoulder.

“Your painting ?” Barry inquired, an eyebrow raised.

“Yes. One of his later works, inspired by Japanese paintings. A tree with thin branches and blooming white flowers. I thought it was a cherry tree or something like that when I was a kid but actually it’s…” Hal said.

“An almond tree.” Bruce answered for him.

Hal offered him a quick smile before turning back to Barry. He wasn’t too surprised that Bruce would recognize the painting he had been talking about. Even a bit pleased, maybe.

“Yes. So, why were you so eager to ask me what the flowers on your torso were ?” Hal asked as Barry put back his uniform in place.

“I've met this woman. She’s perfect, Hal. And that’s her name. Iris.” Barry said, his eyes bright.

“You’re aware your painting can be totally unrelated to who you are or who your soulmate is ?” Hal said, trying to temper Barry’s enthusiasm.

He was happy for his friend but he didn’t want him to set his hopes up if it meant they could be deceived.

“I know. I know, really but this is big. Don’t you think it could be some sort of sign ?”

Hal shrugged. He wasn’t certain he believed in signs, after all.

“Ask her out on a date. Buy her irises, maybe she will tell you about her painting. But you shouldn’t put that much importance on her being your soulmate or not. If you like her, just go for it. A bit of paint shouldn’t change your life.”

“Thank you for the optimism, Hal. But I think she’s the one. You’ve never felt like that about anyone before ? Just looked at them and thought “that must be them” ?”

Hal shook his head. Well, there had been that one time… Better not to dwell on it.

“What about you, Bruce ? Do you know your soulmate ? What painting do you have -” Barry started asking, only to realize the Batman was no longer in his seat.

Not even in the room anymore. Hal spared a look at the door.

“He was too afraid you were going to ask him to strip and show us.” he said and Barry elbowed him in the ribs.

“Where do you think his painting is situated ?” Barry asked.

He and Hal shared a look. Barry smiled and Hal started laughing, clapping his friend’s shoulder.

“Really, you surprise me Barry. Going through a sexual identity crisis ?”

“He’s Bruce.” Barry said as if it clarified anything, and in Hal’s eyes, it kind of did.

Of course, Barry didn’t know of Bruce’s and Hal’s short-lived liaison in Arcœlia. It had been a one time thing. Well, more of a ‘several times, one mission’ thing.

The mission was supposed to last four days. It took them two whole weeks to complete it. They were the only anthropologic beings on this planet and it had created a sense of closeness between them during the difficult diplomatic discussions that had ensued.

They had talked a lot. The inhabitants of this planet needed much more sleep than humans. Four hours of negotiations a day left Bruce and Hal plenty of time to talk - especially since tourism wasn’t a thing on this planet, and that it seemed deserted the equivalent of fifteen hours a day. Not to mention that neither of them were big sleepers and that the jet lag wasn’t helping.

So they talked as they explored the whereabouts. A lot of mud and a few rocks. Not much to see. And it kept raining regularly. A fuschia rain that didn’t inspire confidence. According to a scan from Hal’s ring, it didn’t seem dangerous but Bruce and he didn’t go out often when it was raining.

“Pink is a lovely color on you. It goes well with the suit.” Hal joked once as Bruce was scrubbing his suit in the quarters that had been assigned to them after an unexpected shower.

Bruce had rubbed the soaked dish towel he had been using to clean his suit on Hal's uniform. Hal had squealed and cursed Bruce in half a dozen alien languages.

They had talked about flying, about planes. About space. About families. Bruce always had the more extraordinary things to say about his kids and Hal’s nephew and niece were quite mischieving minds themselves. They had talked about their parents, about their childhood. About double identities and the loneliness of the vigilante life. About so many things Hal couldn’t list them all.

The nights were long and electricity wasn’t a thing there. Hal had used the ring to provide them with light on the first nights but had stopped when it had become obvious that they would have to stay for a while and that he may need the ring’s power in case of emergency.

So he and Bruce had just kept talking, they just did it in the dark. In the middle of the night, their conversations were taking a surreal turn. It was impressive, all the things you could confide to someone you trusted in the dark.

One cold night, as he had laid awake once again, his last conversation with Bruce long finished even if he could still hear Bruce’s irregular breathing, Hal had pushed back his paper-thin blanket and gotten out of bed. Well, bed was a generous term for the hard mattress that had been presented to them as the best bedding you could find around here. Well, maybe it was for people with non anthropological anatomies.

So Hal had gotten out of bed, and instead of pacing the room as Bruce did some sleepless nights, he had stumbled his way to Bruce and climbed into his mockery of a bed.

“What do you think you’re doing, Jordan ?” Bruce had growled as Hal had crawled closer, their bodies colliding in the dark.

“Finding a way to keep us warm and entertained. Now would be a great moment to raise objections” Hal had said, letting his fingers run along Bruce’s arms and then his collarbone - eliciting a shuddering breath from Bruce - before he could feel confident enough to grab his teammate’s face in the dark without knocking him out accidentally.

Needless to say, Bruce hadn’t stopped him in any way and had actively participated in the subsequent activities.

After that night, they had kept having sex for the rest of their stay. It only happened at night, even if they had shared more than a few heated gazes during daytime.

When night fell, Hal would crawl in Bruce’s bed and they would start telling each other’s stories and at one point they would start laughing and kissing. Sometimes, they would just fall asleep after that point.

When they did actually go further than that, Hal usually waited for Bruce to fall asleep before leaving his side as if nothing had happened. Or he fell asleep before him and got away from Bruce’s embrace at dawn.

In any case, Hal was always gone before dawn. He woke up early and dressed silently, letting Bruce sleep as he went out of their quarters and found his privileged place to watch the sun rise. Bruce joined him sometimes.
They'd never said anything there, only sharing silence as they waited for the sun to rise. Once the sun was up, they went on with their day as if the night they had shared hadn’t existed.

All this had happened a few years back. Once compromises had been done and the treaty had been signed, Bruce and Hal had come back to being who they were before - reluctant friends, good teammates.

This had only been a parenthesis in their life, nothing else. But Hal just couldn’t forget about it. Sometimes, Bruce would look at him a certain way, and flashes of things that had been done and said back then flooded him.

Hal wondered why he was thinking about this now. He had never forgotten about it, but he found himself daydreaming about Bruce more often recently. Maybe it was because they had become close again, but just as friends this time.

“... and the elephants started flying.” he caught Barry saying.

Hal threw an apologetic smile to the speedster.

“Sorry, Bar.” he said as people started to take seats around the table. Hal managed to follow maybe half of the meeting before he let his thoughts wander. Memories of Arcœlia. Hal had seen hundreds of alien places, funny that the one which would stay on his mind was so unremarkable. Well, he didn’t remember Arcœlia for its sights.

Once, Bruce had managed to get up before Hal without waking him. I had still been very dark outside and raining. It was what had woken Bruce up, Hal had presumed later.
In fact, Bruce hadn’t fallen asleep at all. He had thought the regular rhythm of Hal’s breathing or the warmth of his body would lull him to sleep, to no avail.
He had counted to three hundreds a few times before deciding to get up and put his armor on before leaving their room.

Maybe ten minutes later, Hal had gone out into the night, using his ring as a source of light to find out where Bruce had disappeared to in the dark.

Bruce hadn't gone far to be certain he could find his way back and Hal's face had relaxed when he had caught sight of the other man. The harsh glowing green light rarely did people any favor but Bruce wasn’t like most people.
Despite the harsh lighting that made him blink a bit owlishly, he was still ridiculously attractive.

"What are you doing in the December rain ?" Hal had asked sleepily as he stopped to direct the glow at Bruce and made a construct to protect them both from the rain. "It's way too early for the sun to rise. And I thought you preferred your suit black."

"Well, maybe you were right and pink is my color. I couldn't sleep." Bruce muttered.

Hal yawned and his construct flickered.

"Sorry. And now you're probably chilled to the bone, I doubt it will help."

"The armor is insulated.” Bruce said, waving Hal’s concerns away.

"Okay, I’ll bite. What's keeping you awake ?" Hal asked.

"If things go as they should today, we're going back tonight."

"Exactly, we should be home tonight. Which means you should come back to sleep if you want to get some rest before we do that. That and I wouldn't mind my personal heater to come back in there, it's damn cold." Hal had said, tugging at Bruce's hand.

He wasn’t certain if it was the cold or Bruce’s absence that had woken him up. Bruce had followed him without a fight, had undressed and fallen back asleep even before Hal did, his cold face buried into Hal’s neck and Hal running his fingers through his hair gently.

It had been the last night they had spent together.

Hal hadn’t fallen back asleep. Because he was cold despite Bruce’s body heat, he had thought at first. Retrospectively, Hal was realizing it might not have been the only reason. He had enjoyed this quiet moment, with Bruce sleeping in his arms.

Bruce. Who was currently speaking about a security matter or another. Hal met his gaze. Bruce tilted his head just a hint, but kept talking even if Hal could tell he was keeping an eye on him now. Well, Hal didn’t feel like he would be able to put up with Bruce’s attentive concern for long.

“Excuse me.” he said abruptly and left the room under surprised glances.

He could have gone to the bathroom and splashed some water on his face but he was quite certain one of his friends would have followed him there in record times, so he just went home. They would follow him there too probably, but at least they should wait until the end of the meeting.

He needed to be alone with his thoughts. For how long had he even been in love with Bruce ? Had the feeling been dormant since Arcœlia ? Was it just there, waiting patiently for Hal to realize it ? He had made his peace with having a bit of a crush on Bruce long ago. Most people had a bit of a crush on Bruce, it wasn't something alarming.

But Hal had crushes before and that ? That wasn’t a crush. That was much, much worse.

Hal considered his options. He needed an action plan. And maybe a few days in space to calm down. People fell in love all the time, right ? That couldn't be that bad. No need to panic.

Hal was quite certain he had fallen in love before. Take Carol. Hal wasn't so sure about others, but he had been in love with her. That hadn't been bad - except for the breaking up part.

Hal wasn't certain what he thought about being in love with Bruce. He knew it was reckless and maybe a bit like setting yourself up for heartbreak.

And maybe that was the thrill of it. Maybe that was why Hal was attracted to Bruce, the fact that his feelings were probably unrequited.
It was safe. Safe was good. But life was worth some risks and Hal wasn't a coward.

That was what Hal was thinking about at Dinah's birthday party as Oliver cornered him.
He should ask Bruce out and see what happened.

“So, now that Barry had found his soulmate, maybe we should start looking for yours.” Ollie claimed loudly.

Barry had presented Iris to them not long ago. She was delightful - kind, insightful and hardworking. And also quite funny. Barry's perfect match. Which was maybe the point of soulmates.

Hal hadn't thought about his own for a while. He didn't know who they were. Didn't care. Fate had nothing to do with who you were interested in.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Bruce laughing at something Diana said. He tensed. He just couldn't help it.

Bruce must have felt he was being watched because he seemed to scan the room until his gaze paused on Hal. He looked at him for a second before going back to his conversation with a bunch of other JL members.

However Hal knew that Bruce was now focused on the conversation he was having with Oliver. He had noticed something unusual and Bruce wasn't the kind of man who let things be.

“Please don’t.” Hal said quietly.

He was quite sure Bruce was within hearing range but knew better than to expect Ollie to follow his lead. Unnecessary loudness was the man's trademark and alcohol didn't help.

“Why not ? Having a soulmate is great, you should enjoy it."

“I don’t care about my soulmate. What do soulmates have to do with anything ? You can form so much more meaningful relationships with people who aren’t soulmates with you that with someone you’d feel obligated to care about.” Hal said, and he was angry enough for his voice to carry too.

It owed him a few surprised glances.

"What the hell, man ? You know that most of us have soulmates and don't feel like their burdens, right ?" Oliver said.

It seemed so reasonable that Hal felt lost as he looked at Oliver's pitiful eyes. When had he become the irrational one ?

He could feel heavy glances on him. He could feel Bruce watching him - probably not as openly as others, but he could tell anyway.

Shame colored his cheeks. Maybe he had drunk a bit too much. Maybe he was tired. Maybe he meant what he had said anyway.

In any case, he couldn't just stay here.

"I - I have an early flight tomorrow, I'd better go. Tell Dinah it was a lovely party."

"Hal -"

Hal was gone before Oliver could finish his sentence.

It took some time for Hal to be able to talk to Oliver again.
And a few weeks more to look Bruce in the eye. His conversation with him had become a bit strained.

It bothered Hal. Was Bruce angry at him ? Was it because the man cared about his own soulmate ?

Hal knew his words had been too strong. He cared about his soulmate, and wanted them to be happy. He just didn't want them in his life, he didn't need them.

It was Bruce that he wanted and the yearning was only getting worse. Chances were Hal was developing a rejection kink - his latest conversations with Bruce had been short and clipped.

So he had decided to work on changing that. And what better day to do it than April Fools' Day ?

Looking back, Hal would wonder if it had been such a brilliant idea.

He had not finished his meticulous work when Bruce had happened upon him in the changing rooms of the Watchtower.

He was in civvies - had just showered, according to his wet hair - Hal's eyes lingered a bit too long on his face as Bruce assessed his surroundings.

"What do you think you're doing ?"

Thankfully, the Bat sounded more exasperated than angry.
He had said those words to Hal before, in a different context.

"Happy April Fools' Day. Reminiscing good times. You don't know how much time I spent looking for the right shade." Hal said, putting the cap back on the small bottle of pink nail polish.

He was looking at Bruce closely and he noticed the twitch of his lips. He felt himself relax.

"You're quite close if memory serves. Now I'd really want to know why you ruined a perfectly good cloak." he said.

Hal smiled at that. Bruce was talking to him the way he had before Dinah's birthday.

"It's still fully functional. And mostly dry." he said, shrugging.

Bruce rolled his eyes at him and extended a hand.

"Give it back, I'll take it home to clean it." he said.

"It's mine." Hal replied instinctively, with that feeling of rightful possession young kids had, as his hands tightened on the fabric.

Bruce threw him a confused look. Hal couldn't tell if he was confused by Hal's words or his attitude.
He blushed furiously and rubbed at his neck.

"I mean, it's the one you… let at my flat."

Bruce frowned. He didn't make a habit of misplacing his gear.

"When I was asleep." Hal quipped.

"Ah." Bruce muttered.

Bruce remembered the aftermath of their mission in Arcœlia.
Hal's ring had needed to be recharged and considering Hal's exhausted state, Bruce had offered him a ride home.

Hal had offered to make coffee and they had started talking on the sofa about the mission's outcome. Bruce had gone to the bathroom. When he had been back in the living-room, he had found Hal fast asleep.

Hal had turned the heating back on as they had entered his flat but it was still quite cold and Bruce had covered Hal's shivery sleeping form with his cloak before he left.

He'd forgotten about the cloak and Hal had not mentioned it.

"Of course you can have it back." Hal said quietly.

He had gotten attached to the piece of black fabric and how stupid was that ?

Bruce shook his head and Hal felt relief flood him. Stupid.

"As tenting as your offer is, I have spare cloaks that are not in need of severe cleaning, I’ll pass.” Bruce added, throwing an amused glance at the pink stains.

Hal smiled at him softly and Bruce's face hardened.

“Hal, I have to ask. What are you playing at ? What’s the aim of the game, here ? What are the stakes ?” Bruce asked.

He didn't sound that angry. Mostly tired.

“What game ?” Hal asked.

Surprise was showing in his voice.

“The one you started and supposedly ended some years ago. What are you trying to achieve, here ? What’s the meaning of this ?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I, Hal. One day, you’re saying soulmates are mere burdens and the next you’re bringing up that mission. Do you even know what you want ?” Bruce asked.

“It’s not about soulmates.”

“Yes, it is.” Bruce said, putting his shirt off.

Hal wondered for half a second why guys were all about stripping off unexpectedly mid-conversation with him these days, before he caught on.

“You -” he barely had the time to say before Bruce turned around and then his voice caught in his throat.

It was there. Bruce’s own painting. Matching perfectly the one on Hal’s back. Half an almond tree with delicate branches spreading out on a soft blue background.

Hal took a step closer, two, until he was close enough to touch Bruce. Bruce started putting his shirt back on but Hal’s grabbed his wrist.

“Please.” Hal said quietly and Bruce put down his shirt as Hal traced the trees’ branch with his forefinger, Bruce’s hands tightening on his shirt to repress a shudder at the contact of Hal’s skin with his.

“It’s beautiful on you.” Hal whispered once he had finished tracing all the branches and Bruce finally put his shirt back on when Hal took a step back.

Bruce took more time than needed to fasten up his shirt so he could regain his composure. It wasn’t the first time Hal had traced patterns on his back with his fingertips. Last time, it had been way too dark for the both of them to see a thing.

“You didn't know ?" he asked, facing Hal again.

“Obviously not. Wait, you did ? Seriously ?”

“I wasn’t certain. But I did contemplate the possibility, in Arcœlia.” Bruce acknowledged.

Hal's eyes widened.

“It was years ago ! Why didn't you ask me ?”

Frustration was seeping through his voice. Bruce threw him a warning glare. He didn't have any right to be angry.

“Because it was only casual sex for you. You didn’t want me for a soulmate and I respected your wish."

“I - sorry ? What made you think so ? Worse, what made you decide so ?” Hal said.

Bruce didn't meet his gaze.

“You were always gone by morning. You wouldn’t even touch me by daylight. And apparently, you have never considered the idea of us being soulmates in the following years. Why in hell would I have even suggested that we might be soulmates when it was so obvious that you wouldn’t like the idea ?”

"I was trying not to get too attached to someone who wouldn't care." Hal snapped.

Bruce snorted and shook his head.

"I am glad it worked for you." he said between his teeth.

"It didn't."

"Hal, you didn't even think for a minute that I could be your soulmate. What do you think it means about what you think about our relationship ? About what you thought about the possibility of us together ? You didn't spare it a single thought in all these years. What am I supposed to think ? You said it yourself - you don't believe in the bond between soulmates."

Hal closed his eyes and took a long breath to calm himself. They've misread each other so bad that he was certain that would be a laughing matter between them in a few years.

Time to put his cards on the table. Maybe Bruce had been right about this game thing and Hal hadn't been aware he was playing.

"Because it was larger than that ! It meant more. It was more than fate. I didn't know it then but I loved you and I think maybe you loved me and what we had was beautiful." Hal said with feeling.

"You loved me. Past tense." Bruce pointed out.

"I've not stopped." Hal murmured.

"Me neither." Bruce said.

"If you want to give it another chance -" Hal said.

He didn't finish. It was Bruce's turn.

"I'd like that. But only if you're willing to give us a chance at being soulmates, too. You just can't ignore it because it's more convenient to you. It's part of us too."

"I know. I know and I am sorry about what I said. I only said it because I thought I was in love with someone who wasn't my soulmate. I wouldn't have said it if I had known."

"You're forgiven. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to kiss my soulmate."

"That would be great." Hal said, smiling.