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The force felt as welcoming as it always felt to him before the war. His senses had stretched even further from Qui-Gon’s teachings. He sank deep into his meditation as he reached into the galaxy and connected himself with it’s very presence. A cough brought him back to the present. Live in the here and now, padawan, his inner voice said, sounding distinctly like his Master.
He opened his eyes.
“Hello there.”
What greeted him was the blue, transparent forms of his long lost Jedi friends and colleagues.
A tear slipped unnoticed from his eye.
Normally, in his training of the Cosmic force, physical altercations were one of the last steps learnt. But, he insisted that it’d be one of the first. Qui-Gon didn’t ask and Obi-Wan made no inclination to tell him anyways.
Mace’s forehead was clear of all the stress lines that years of toil and strife had caused as he fondly stared at Obi-Wan as did the rest of the ghosts. The Stewjon Jedi looked hesitant to approach them, as he trembled in each step he took closer.
“Hello, Ob—” He never got to finish the sentence before his entire form shook from the punch he had received to the face. When he looked back at him, Obi-Wan was seething.
“Oh, don’t you ‘hello Obi-Wan me’! Do you know how long I have been telling you people that politicians were untrustworthy!? I’ve told you so many times to not trust Palpatine. No one ever listened to me and that’s why you’re all dead!”
Plo, always the placater, tried to settle the Jedi down. “Obi-Wan surely not all politicians were bad. Miss Amidala was always ready to help us.”
Obi-Wan turned his fiery rage to the Kel Dor. “ Missus Amidala has kept a few things hidden from herself and from us. Including the massacre of an entire clan of Tusken Raiders done by my padawan. And marriage to said padawan. So no. I wouldn’t trust her to save my life. Look at how well she treated her own.” He muttered darkly.
He noticed a flash on red, white and blue and whirled around to Master Ti.
“And you! Had you just sent Fives TO THE JEDI, LIKE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DO, THEN WE WOULD HAVE KNOWN ABOUT THE CHIPS AND OVER HALF OF YOU WOULD STILL BE ALIVE!”
She narrowed her eyes. “Watch yourself, Kenobi.”
“Or what?” He shot back. “Huh? Or what? You gonna kill me with those ghostly arms of yours? Oh, I’m soooo scared.” He stepped up to her. “Kill me. Do it. I’ve wanted it for years.”
She took a startled step away from him, but that did nothing to stop her ire.
“As I recall, Kenobi. It was your padawan that killed most of the Jedi.” She remarked with no regret.
“‘Don’t you dare pin Anakin’s fall on me. None of you are worthy enough to even utter that name to me after all the years you’ve spent besmirching it. You do not get to stand here and criticize my brother, just so you can feel better about yourself. Your pride is what got you here. You got cocky and you got foolish. I’m not the first one with a fallen padawan, as you would know, Shaak. Does Maris Brood ring a bell? So please, kindly, if you will, fuck off.”
This time she truly did back off, eyes avoiding his.
He faced the now silent Jedi.
“What are you waiting for? Kill me! Am I not responsible for your deaths? Do it! You think I want to stay in this miserable, hot, depressing hellhole? Watching over the child of Anakin fucking Skywalker and Padmé ‘Hey you know what, I’m going to take advantage of a Jedi after only meeting him twice. We’re gonna get married and have kids in hiding’ Amidala?”
“Kill me!” He shouted again, when nobody would respond to him. “Here, I’ll make it easy for you. Hi. My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi. I failed to defeat the Sith apprentice Darth Maul, which led to my Master dying, Master Gallia dying, Satine Kryze dying and the entire ruin of the planet of Mandalore. I got myself captured on Geonosis, which led to even more clone and Jedi deaths alike. I was forewarned by Count Dooku himself that there was a Sith Lord with most of the Senate in his hands. I led to the deaths of the staple figureheads of our entire order. I couldn’t save Ahsoka from her expulsion nor stop Barris. I led the rescue of Darth Sidious during my stint as Rako Hardeen. I couldn’t save the prisoners of Kadavo. I couldn’t save Anakin’s mother. I couldn’t save Padmé. I couldn’t even kill my padawan on Mustafar. ”
“And what makes it worse, you ask?” He laughs bitterly. “I saw this coming for 30 years. From the creche, I had visions of the fall of the Jedi Order. And I couldn’t do a fucking thing about it.
“Obi-Wan…” Kit said.
“Kill me, please. I beg you.” He fell to his knees, anger dissipated.
“Your work in the galaxy is not done yet, Obi-Wan. You know it as well as much as you wish to ignore the signs.” Depa kindly said.
When he looked back up, they were gone.
He cried himself to sleep that night.
Just like he did every single night.