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Anakin had been thirteen and some of the other kids at the temple had these accounts on the HoloNet on this thing called SpaceTikTok (he wasn't sure how it got its name). He'd filmed exactly ten seconds of Obi-Wan peacefully sipping tea and reading a book and posted it.
Within four days, it had 14 million likes.
So the next day, he filmed ten seconds of Obi-Wan writing Force-knows-what, very focused on his work. When he posted it, it got 15 million likes. And then he started getting followers, and the next day, he filmed Obi-Wan practicing with his lightsaber, and that one got 19 million likes.
Obi-Wan didn't know who this SpaceTikTok account "Ten Seconds of Obi-Wan" was, or how they were getting footage of him doing perfectly normal stuff. He may have at first suspected it was Anakin, but by the time they were in the Clone Wars, constantly fighting battles every day, Obi-Wan decided he would never know.
It was Anakin, though.
Nobody knew who was on the other side of the screen of Ten Seconds of Kenobi, but they were constantly liking and commenting about how hot he was. Which Anakin didn't exactly understand, but maybe that was because the only females he knew were his wife, who had eyes only for him, and his padawan, who wasn't about to admit to having a crush. That was just so unbecoming of a Jedi (cue the sarcasm).
But it was the video called Ten Seconds of Kenobi and Duchess Satine Being in Love that finally made him lose his patience with this channel. Finding Anakin and Ahsoka giggling over it while they watched it.
"I will have you know that I harbor no feelings for the duchess of Mandalore!" Obi-Wan sternly told them, to no avail.
"They argue like a married couple," Anakin said with a snicker.
"Maybe they're secretly married," Ahsoka said with a sly look in Anakin's direction, which he quickly cleared his throat at and ignored.
"Look at the way they keep looking at each other? Like, adorable!" Ahsoka squealed.
"That's it with this account! Who in the galaxy are they?"
Anakin shrugged. "Force knows."
"And where are they getting this footage?" Obi-Wan ranted. "I mean... half of this stuff is places I didn't even know there were other people! Except Anakin and Ahsoka, but you two are too busy to be secretly filming me."
Obi-Wan missed Ahsoka raising and eyebrow at Anakin while he lifted a finger to his lips and winked.
~-~-~-~
When Ten Seconds of Obi-Wan Ranting about This SpaceTikTok came out, Obi-Wan was positive that somebody just had a camera drone flying around. But when Ten Seconds of Obi-Wan Looking for a Camera Drone came out, he revisited the Anakin or Ahsoka theory.
"Are you two both entirely sure you're not filming me? In secret? You're positive? Absolutely positive?"
"Yes," they chorused innocently.
Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. Uh-oh. It looked like he was onto him.
But Anakin, ever resourceful, just came up with a plan...
~-~-~-~
"Anakin, no!"
"Pleeeease?"
Padmé shook her head. "No! I can't believe it's you. It always has been!"
"I just need to convince him it isn't me," Anakin pleaded with her. "So if a video gets posted and the only other person in the room was you, he'll know for certain that it wasn't me!"
"Or he'll just suspect that we're in a relationship, which is the last thing we want to happen," Padmé pointed out.
"How would he connect the dots to that?"
"Believe it or not, Anakin, Obi-Wan is a very smart person," Padmé said with an eyebrow raised.
"Angel, we're talking about the man who walked in mad circles looking for a tiny camera drone fixed on him."
Padmé chuckled. "Alright, you have a point there."
"Listen Padmé. If you do this for me, we can watch your favorite romantic HoloDramas and I'll keep complaining to a minimum. Promise!"
"No complaining at all and healthy snacks and maybe I'll do it."
"Deal." Anakin knew he was going to regret that later, but he had never been terrific at planning for later. He really just wanted his wife to post the next SpaceTikTok about Obi-Wan.
~-~-~-~
Ten Seconds of Obi-Wan Pretending to Listen to a Senator Talk was a huge success, and featured polite Obi-Wan sitting with his hands folded in his lap while Padmé talked flowery words about politics. Not exactly his cup of tea, but he'd listened.
And also ended up in another SpaceTikTok.
"How?! The only other person in the room was Senator Padmé Amidala! And I know she wasn't filming me! There's no way I zoned out that much." Obi-Wan was going positively crazy over this. Who in the galaxy was getting ten seconds of footage of him doing completely random things?! And why were all the ladies in the galaxy swooning over him doing extremely mundane stuff?
He couldn't pretend he wasn't flattered. But really? Ten seconds of him totally actually listening to Senator Amidala ramble talk about politics?
~-~-~-~
Anakin spent the entire romantic HoloDrama staring at his beautiful wife in order to distract himself from complaining about how predictable and mushy the film was. And he was not eating those "healthy snacks."
He definitely regretted this deal.