Work Text:
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Amber
Amber loved warm summer days when she could bask in pleasant rays of sunshine. The warmth that allowed her to dress in her favorite clothes, would never tire her. However, she hated the sweating part. And it was inevitable when she was running around and doing errands for the Knights.
It would be childish if she admitted to Jean that she wanted a day off just because her hair started to stick to her face in an unpleasant way. No, she was above that. She would just tie them up in two high ponytails to make it more bearable.
She prided herself as a good knight and the best Outrider Ordo had, so she would live up to that title, even at the cost of looking a bit worse to wear.
Collecting documents for Jean was easy. Amber just needed to deliver them to the Acting Grandmaster, and she would be done with her tasks for a day. She quickened her pace, humming a cheery song. The prospect of taking a cold shower and washing the sweat and grime accumulated from the whole day was wonderful and filled her with newfound energy. Just a bit longer and she could clock out.
As the girl was passing the training grounds, he noticed Captain Kaeya. He was training with new recruits. And, Amber noticed with a cheeky smile, that he was merciless with beating them around. She was so glad to train with Jean rather than with the sadistic Cavalry Captain who never went easy despite the difference in skill between him and his opponent. It definitely saved her a lot of strained nerves and humiliation.
Amber was ready to resume her walk but in the corner of her eye, she noticed that Kaeya showed mercy upon one recruit and moved to sheath his sword.
Her eyes instantly followed his movement. Mesmerized by swift moves Amber watched in awe. Kaeya was definitely showing off. With the delicacy of a dancer, the Captain swirled his sword around, making a scene out of such basic activity.
When the sword was close to his face, its edge reflected the sunlight, basking Kaeya’s face in radiance. He was also sweating from training, yet he looked so good, so regal. Nothing like Amber’s miserable state. Beads of sweat on her face weren’t looking as enchanting as on Kaeya’s chocolate skin.
"He is so unfairly pretty," Amber huffed under her breath and hugged documents closer to her chest. With a heavy sigh, she resumed walking to Jean’s office, trying to get the tempting image out of her head.
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Jean and Lisa
To distract a workaholic from work, you had to adapt the right approach. Lisa was fortunate to know Jean enough to be able to come with a good and believable excuse to drag her sweetheart for a break. She wanted to share some tea and baked goods with her girlfriend.
It took a bit of convincing and showing the food suggestively, until Jean gave up and finished the report she was currently filling and finally took a well-deserved break.
They snuggled in a love seat and indulged in sweets. Lisa's timing was perfect taking from the way Jean devoured sweats. She wasn’t even minding when Lisa fed her.
Knowing Jean, she was too engrossed in her work that she skipped her lunch break. A more decent meal was in order. But as they say, what goes around, comes around. Lisa would just need to drag her for a nice dinner date in the evening.
To keep Jean distracted from work for a bit longer, Lisa dragged her into a small chat about other Ordo members. Knowing that Jean hated gossip Lisa twirled around the topic making it look like a casual evaluation until they reached Kaeya as their talking subject.
Jean sighed, putting the pink macaroon down on her plate. “He was so modest when he was younger, and now... “ She shook her head.
“He grew into a dependable captain,” Lisa teased knowing very well what Jean was referring to.
“Don’t tease me, Lisa. You know what I’m talking about. I can’t say a bad word about him finishing his tasks. Although, the way he is… well solving them leaves much for improvement… And, "the woman shook her head before snuggling into Lisa’s side. Her girlfriend quickly snaked her arms around Jean's waist. ”I have no idea how he can pull these outfits of his, and still look so stunning and pretty. They are ridiculous!”
“The Cavalry Captain is like an exotic fruit, eccentric clothes only emphasize that.”
“That might be the point but his coat. It’s so ridiculous.”
“You don’t like it? I find it quite charming. It gives me an impression he skinned the Abyss mage to get it.”
“Don’t sound as you were charmed by him,” Jean smacked Lisa gently.
The woman chuckled. “If I wasn't as smitten by you my dear Dandelion Knight, I'd love to take a bite of that pretty chest", Lisa joked just to be smacked even stronger than before. Jean didn’t like when she was so shameless in public.
"That hurt,” she mocked. “And don’t act like it’s not true. I know that if you were into boys, you would also love to do that.”
A scarlet blush covered Jean’s face. She tried to hide it, turning in the opposite direction but nothing would escape Lisa’s watchful eye. “Yet you don't need to voice that in such a manner,” Jean mumbled.
“Oh, “ Lisa teased, reaching to tilt Jean’s head in her direction,” but you love when I'm direct, especially in the bedroom.”
Jean just groaned, covering her face with her hands. The only reason she didn't strangle Lisa yet was the fact that she loved the woman just too much.
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Aether
The sheer fact Aether managed to gain Kaeya's trust was amazing. To be invited to the Cavalry Captain house was something out of this world, and yet, the traveler was there. He sat comfortably on a couch situated near the window and waited as Kaeya would be back with steaming mugs of hot chocolate.
The reason why Aether was invited was simple. Kaeya needed some help with activities that weren’t exactly legal. And the traveler was more than happy to aid his dear friend. A new obstacle to overcome always lit his adventurous soul on fire.
"Thank you for coming," Kaeya said, giving Aether one of his precious smiles. (Aether dubbed it by the number seven). The corners of his lips barely raised but that was one of the very few quite honest smiles Kaeya could show you, so the traveler was content.
"I'm always in when something interesting is going to happen."
"Oh, it will definitely be interesting, '' Kaeya said with an audible promise clear in his voice.
Aether gulped. Loudly.
He decided to switch his focus toward the mug. He took one awkward sip trying to not catch eye contact with the pretty captain. Why was Kaeya like that? Effortlessly flirting with Aether, feeding him hope that something might be born from their exchanges.
Aether wasn't stupid and knew he had no chance to win Kaeya's heart, which was already promised to someone else. However, some would say that reasoning with a foolish heart was impossible. It didn’t help Aether that he was so susceptible to crushes when around such a handsome fellow.
If Kaeya noticed his strange behavior he was kind enough not to mention anything, instead, he proceeded to explain the mission. At first, it sounded simple, however, the complexity quickly grew as the captain pulled a map of Mond to the table. A collection of marks quickly started to build up, all pointing out strategic positions and places where potential ambushes might occur.
Aether watched in awe how Kaeya gesticulated, following every movement of his long fingers. They looked so delicate to belong to a swordsman but it was only an illusion. The power the man could muster was not a joke. Aether was stronger than most but when Kaeya got serious, no one stood a chance.
The Cavalry Captain was just too good to be true. Why he was so charming and effortlessly pretty, that Aether's heart has troubles with beating at a normal pace...
“Aether, did you hear my last question?” The world came back into focus atop Kaeya resting his chin on his artfully interlaced fingers. A delightful light dancing in his sapphire eye.
Aether turned his brain off, and just sighed dreamily,” You are so pretty Kaeya.”
“I know, but it doesn’t answer my previous question,” the Cavalry Captain replied with a playful smirk. He ruffled Aether’s locks and repeated the question.
Flattery wouldn’t interrupt the careful planning. Responsibility always came first. No matter how wild Aether’s blush was.
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Drunk Patrons at Angel’s Share
For Diluc it was difficult to decide who was irritating him more. It was a hard pick between overdrunk patrons with no restraints remaining after top many beers, and Kaeya Alberich - his ex-sworn-brother with whom he had a complicated relationship now. Although despite all the troubles drunk patrons usually caused, Diluc still thought that the best candidate to be called the most irritating ever would be Kaeya.
People came and went but that smirking plotting snake? He was always there. And it seemed he was specifically picking the days when Diluc worked to drink and annoy him like no tomorrow. No matter how many times Diluc kicked Kaeya out, he was always back. No matter how many times Diluc refused to give the captain a drink or purposely served him grape juice, Kaeya just smiled politely, paid, sometimes even leaving a hefty tip, and moved to his favorite place in a corner.
Today was no exception. As usual, Kaeya ordered a Death After Noon, and Diluc was nice enough to actually make him the ordered drink, not a grape juice the knight despised so much. With a nod and a fake happy smile plastered on his face, Kaeya wandered to the table hidden in the corner.
When the man was far enough to not be able to hear gossips at the bar, patrons that were sitting there started their gossip. They had a few beers too many, and it showed.
Diluc gritted his teeth and summoned the neural face to hide his growing irritation. Especially when he couldn't tell them to just shut up as they were shamelessly talking about Kaeya’s assets.
"How a man can have such a slim waist. It's unbelievable." One said taking a long sip of his beer and putting it away on a table with a loud clunk.
The second quickly continued the topic with a drunken laugh, "Maybe because he gets hold too many times, his waist was conditioned to stay so slim."
"Oh, to be able to hold that pretty captain in your bed. He would do much better there than trying to protect the city." The third dreamily added.
"I would even pay him to get that pretty face between my legs. He looks like he is skilled at that."
"Oh yes that, or have him lay prettily sprawled on the bed and waiting for my mercy, as I pierce… ."
Diluc cleared his throat and put glasses of water before the patrons. Loudly. With enough force to spill some droplets on the table.
"I have a feeling you drank too much, so some water may clear your mind. My treat. "
The men palled, drank the water quickly, and almost ran away from the tavern, leaving a bag of mora in their wake.
Drunkards thirsting over Kaeya were the worst. They won the title for most irritating, at least for the day.
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Childe the menace to the society
Everyone in the Knights of Favonius was aware that some diplomat from Snezhnaya would arrive but no one had expected that person to be the 11th of Fatui Harbingers - Tartaglia.
Jean wasn’t amused when she welcomed the young adult in the city. She waited for him at the bridge and immediately after he crossed city borders, led him all the way to her office to discuss some urging matters. She was aware of what the man was capable of, especially after his last stunt in Liyue, and he couldn’t be left out of sight even for the slightest of moments.
When the door to Jean’s office was closed, without wasting time for pleasantries, she moved right to the concrete.
“What are your plans in Mondstadt?” Jean’s voice was calm but her eyes were cold. She wouldn’t let anyone pose a threat to her beloved city.
Tartaglia chuckled. “I wanted to sightsee a bit, have some fun, and drink the delicious wine everyone praises. I heard that the City of Freedom is beautiful, especially this season when everything is in full bloom.”
The answer was so innocent, that no one would fall for that. There must be something more, some ulterior motives. It couldn't be that simple, not with Fatui involved.
Jean tried to read that man, to see any clues, just to find none. Only the irritating, cheeky smirk as the man got himself comfortable on Jean's loveseat.
“Oh, Acting Grandmaster, don’t be so rough. I promise to be a good boy. “Tartaglia has the audacity to wink at Jean. ”I just need to get the prettiest babysitter The Ordo can offer.” He added.
Needless to say, such a statement shocked Jean. She planned many potential conversations in her head but none came even close to this one. It took her a moment to regain her composure.
“Your demands are quite fancy, Tartaglia.” She crossed her arms.
Tartaglia replied with a voice dripping from excitement. “So, are you going to meet them, or not?”
“My dear guest, no such words left my mouth. I’m just unsure about your definition of pretty, so if you could elaborate a bit it would make this issue so much easier.”
Before Tartaglia replied, the doors to the office opened. Only a few people were to walk here without knocking. Knowing everyone's schedule it could only be Lisa or Kaeya. Jean prayed for that person to be her girlfriend.
Tartaglia’s eyes shone with mirth as he noticed who entered the room. He stood up from his comfortable spot on the couch and stretched like a smug cat who spotted his favorite toy. “Aaand I pick this charming knight to be my pretty babysitter.”
With those words, Kaeya’s fate was sealed.
Despite Kaeya’s initial concerns, babysitting Fatui Harbinger wasn’t that bad. Tartaglia, or as he preferred to be called - Childe, wasn’t worse than Klee. He was unpredictable, but as a person well versed in taking care of problematic kids with never-ending amounts of energy, and (unfortunately) destructive tendencies, Kaeya knew what he was doing.
At first, he was just dragged around, a strong grip never leaving his wrist as they strolled around the city. Childe was like a big baby not knowing what to do when he excitedly ran from one stall to another. It would be adorable if not the fact that man could easily turn into a bloodthirsty monster at any given moment. Yet, Kaeya found it amusing.
“How about a picnic?” He proposed. Childe’s eyes lit brightly as he eagerly nodded at the idea. Kaeya chuckled and used his free hand to ease the hold on his wrist. He interlaced their fingers and tugged the ginger man gently in the direction of the main street where all the shops were located. Usually, he didn’t hold hands with his other companions but thanks to that he could get a few seconds advantage if Childe decided that playing nice was over and it’s finally the destruction time.
“I will pay for everything,” Childe said with a voice leaving nothing to discuss. It wasn’t like Kaeya had something against it.
They fell into a nice conversation after that. Kaeya was alert at all times trying to catch anything that would help him decipher the Fatui, alert of any suspicious word or movement. Childe was either so clever to not let any, or just too stupid to come to a foreign land with no plan. The probability for both was quite high.
Childe’s behavior, despite no clear malicious intents, was suspicious. In a mystery to everyone, his clingy nature somehow added to his charm. It didn’t help that every word that fell from his lips dripped with honey and could always be mistaken for flirting. Kaeya had nothing against it, it was flattering to hear so many compliments and to have his hand held so gently by someone who could kill you without even batting an eye or dropping a sweat.
At some point, Childe let go of Kaeya’s hand, snaking his arm over his waist. Such a bold move shocked Kaeya a bit. Kaeya quirked his brow with an unspoken question, to what Childe just said, “you are so pretty Kaeya. If I knew Mondstadt hides such gems, I’d come to visit much sooner.”
The words were so honest that the Cavalry Captain almost believed in them. The Fatui must be plotting something but his actions were just weird… His affection was so unusual. It was the first time they met in person, and yet… Childe acted as he could easily rival Kaeya’s flirting skills. Interesting, especially when Kaeya felt charmed by that action. His position as the biggest flirt in Mond was in danger.
Well, at least Childe didn’t pose a threat to the city as they strolled around looking like a pair of lovebirds. Only Kaeya’s reputation would be damaged. People weren't sending him the best glares, and gossips already rose. It would be interesting to hear about them from Kaeya’s various informants later.
“Do you have some spot in mind for a picnic? I can show you some nice places,” Kaeya said gently, putting a stray hair out of Childe’s handsome face.
The ginger man smiled, leaning a bit into that touch with half-lidded eyes. “How about a snack at the top of Barbatos’ statue?”
The request was unusual but not impossible. “Well, we can do that,” he smiled gently.
Kaeya dined like that once with Diluc when both of them were still so young to understand the world and it got him to become nostalgic for a moment, missing the times where everything was okay between them and they could hold a normal conversation instead of the mess they had now. “As long as the statue would end up unscratched we are free to go.”
“Oh, I promise to be good!” Childe giggled.
“I hope, or bad boys would need to be punished,” Kaeya whispered straight into the Fatui's ear, watching in awe as the shiver traveled down Childe’s spine.
“Well, being punished by a pretty knight doesn’t sound that bad.” Childe quickly replied, a small blush emphasizing freckles adorning his face.
“Childe!” Kaeya laughed, smacking his companion lightly.
They bought some food at Good Hunter. Childe wanted to pay for a basket but he resigned with a pout when Kaeya reasoned how difficult it would be to carry the basket all the way up to reach the sitting spot on the statue. The leather bag was a better pick.
“We need some wine!” The Fatui decided, lacing their fingers once again and dragging Kaeya in Angel’s Share direction.
It was a bad idea. Horrible even. Diluc worked there today, and pleased would be the last word used to describe his mood when Fatui would appear in his tavern. The redhead hated Kaeya but he despised Fatui even more, so seeing the two of them would be a catastrophe.
“How about some cocktails Diona serves at Cat’s Tail? They are delicious.” Kaeya tried to no avail. He was getting more and more frustrated the closer they went to the tavern.
“When you drank Snezhnayan Fire-Water, you need something stronger than a mere cocktail if you want to feel like drinking alcohol.”
Kaeya just internally groaned knowing he couldn’t argue with such a statement.
To the surprise of no one, Diluc was pissed. He stopped cleaning glasses and just glared at the duo who just entered Angel's Share. If a gaze could kill, Kaeya would be long dead. Seeing the Fatui was one thing but seeing said Fatui with his hands all around Kaeya was enough to snap something in the redhead. Every conversation died down as people became all ears granted the best places to watch the spectacle unfold.
“What do you want, “ Diluc snarled without even trying to be polite. Kaeya was desperate to drag Childe out but his companion had none of that.
Childe behaved like he didn't notice the hostility. “I’d like to buy the finest wine you have. I need to treat my pretty companion to something good for our date.”
“It’s just a picnic,” Kaeya interrupted, stepping on Childe’s feet in order to silence him.
It worked as well as a fly trying to move an elephant. “Don’t be so prude, my pretty flower,” Childe said, taking Kaeya’s hair in his hand and kissing the ends while keeping eye contact with Diluc who’s grip was leaving imprints in the shape of his hands on the bar counter. It started to smoke a bit.
At that moment realization struck Kaeya as a bolt of lightning. Childe’s plotting became obvious.
Caught up in all of the flirt’s clever wit and charm, he had become blind. Each piece of the puzzle found its place in the riddle Kaeya tried to solve since being assigned the position of Tartaglia babysitter. Childe did it all to rile Diluc up, so he could have a good fight with him. And Kaeya was, well, just a tool to achieve that. He was outplayed so easily in a scheme he wouldn't even dream of predicting. Childe really was smart, and the title of the Harbinger was well deserved.
“Diluc, please, “ Kaeya pleaded, moving from Childe’s grasp, making few steps closer to Diluc, “ just give us one bottle, and we won’t disturb you anymore.”
“The finest bottle!” Childe chirped, closing the distance Kaeya made and snaking his arms around the man.
This remark hasn't helped at all. If possible, it made everything even worse. Diluc sent Kaeya a glare so cold that the Cavalry Captain shivered. That glare could easily rival the one from the memorable night when they stopped being like brothers to each other. Without a word, Diluc reached under the counter and fetched one dusted bottle.
“Two million moras,” he said, predatory eyes never leaving Childe. And the Fatui just smiled brightly and paid without bargaining even little. He paid a fortune for a dusted bottle of Dandelion wine like it was nothing. Like it was a fair price for all the troubles he would cause.
“I will definitely enjoy the wine on our lovely date,” Childe chimed with an impossibly smug smile.
“It’s not a date, and you are just a big child!” Kaeya floundered, trying to correct the misunderstanding before the situation worsened.
Childe laughed cheerfully as he ran towards the doors hugging the wine bottle like it was the finest treasure everyone sought after. Kaeya tried to explain everything to Diluc and apologize but he was cut short.
“I don’t want to see you at my establishment again,” Diluc hissed, clearly talking to Kaeya. “You bought your wine. Now go.”
It hurt more than it should. But, in the end, he deserved that for letting himself be played like a cheap fiddle. Kaeya just sighed, waved goodbye, and left the tavern with Childe.
The duo walked a bit in silence. Childe knew better than to start a conversation when Kaeya was in a bad mood. As they reached darker and shadier corners of Mond, the Cavalry Captain moved quickly and pressed Childe against the wall.
“What is your plan, Fatui,” he hissed.
And Childe smiled like a mad man,” I just wanted to have a good fight.”
Cold sapphire eye narrowed dangerously, “I hate you.”
“I admit, I have used you,” Childe added, looking guilty. “Although, not once have I lied when calling you pretty and beautiful.”
Kaeya blinked a few times trying to proceed these words. He had a feeling he didn’t hear the Fatui right.
Childe chuckled, raising Kaeya’s chin with his fingers so their gaze could meet, “You are the prettiest flower Mondstadt has.”
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and finally Diluc.
In the end, Childe and Kaeya had a picnic at the top of Barbatos’ statue. Everything was a mess but, somehow Tartaglia’s presence was soothing. He and Kaeya were similar, both plotting in the shadows and flirting with darkness.
They sat comfortably on Anemo Archon’s hands. Kaeya was just drinking the wine straight from the bottle and loudly complaining about Childe without any restraints. He would love to strangle the Fatui for everything he did but he knew he couldn’t. Diplomatic immunity and so on.
And Childe, well… he was excited. He was buzzing with energy as he ate delicious snacks he bought.
“Couldn’t you just ask him for a fight like a normal human being?” Keaya sighed, leaning a bit more into Childe’s personal space.
The redhead shook his head. “It wouldn’t be as fun as my perfect plan.”
“Perfect plan my ass. You just love to wreak havoc.”
“That I do.” Childe chuckled, “and making a man jealous works the best to rile them up.”
Kaeya laughed bitterly. “Diluc and jealous? Impossible. He hates me and can’t tolerate me within his sight.”
“Oh poor little thing,” Childe said with sympathy in his voice.
“I don’t need your sympathy.” Kaeya hissed, taking a long sip from the bottle as it could cure all his problems.
“Okay so… I will just say that both of you are idiots,” Childe shrugged and changed the topic to something more lighthearted. “Sandwich? They are delicious.”
Kaeya groaned and took another sip from the overpriced bottle. It wasn’t even worth that much.
“Give me some of the wine,” Childe demanded, reaching to grab it from Kaeya’s hands.
Kaeya just glared at him turning a bit, to not let the Fatui’s hands reach the bottle, and chugged some more.“No.”
“I paid for it.” Came a complain.
“And?” Kaeya quirked his brow.
“I have bragging rights.”
“Not after everything you did.”
“Oho ho, someone is getting cocky.” Childe pushed Kaeya lightly. It was a matter of seconds before they started to tousle. With food long forgotten, Childe jumped at Kaeya, knocking the bottle out of his hands. It rolled a bit until it started to fall.
It wasn’t enough to stop their childish fight. They kicked each other and started to roll on the little space they had. With every passing moment, it was getting more and more brutal with various kicks and jabs in the ribs, until Childe pushed Kaeya too harsh and the Captain overbalanced and started to fall.
Childe tried to catch him but was too slow, his hands too short. He just stated in horror as the silhouette of his friend was getting smaller and smaller.
Kaeya didn’t have his glider. It stayed on the statue alongside his other belongings. He would crash and meet the fate of the wine bottle. His body would also shatter and stain cobblestones with dark red. Oh, it would be a spectacular way to end his life.
Kaeya closed his eyes, at least, he was glad that he wouldn’t need to betray Mond when fate would knock at his door to make him pay his debts. He already reconciled with death when strong arms circled around his body and Kaeya was basked in pleasant warmth.
“I never thought that dying would be so pleasant,” Kaeya murmured, snuggling into the cozy coat his savior wore. He knew who it was. And decided to be a jerk and milk the situation to the fullest. It was the only chance he got.
“You are alive but that Fatui will pay for all he did to you,” Diluc hissed, easing Kaeya on the ground. He was still lingering close, his arm snaked around Kaeya’s waist. The Cavalry Captain didn’t know what to think about it.
A shadow appeared on the ground before them and in the next moment, it was replaced with Childe who folded his glider and plunger all the way down. “Thanks for saving my companion so we can go back to spend time with each other,” he said, gently taking Kaeya hand in his.
Kaeya felt like he was the main star of a romantic comedy. Especially when Diluc took his other hand and pulled him closer to his side.
“That pretty knight is mine, so hands-off.”
Kaeya gasped, and locked eyes with Diluc who was slightly blushing. It couldn’t be. “Do you think I’m pretty?”
The redhead didn’t avert his eyes. After a moment that felt like a lifetime, Diluc finally nodded. Those words were like a dream to come true, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. So much had happened today, so Kaeya decided to let go of all of his restraints and just enjoy the moment. He turned a bit, to face his favorite redhead and gently kissed him on the lips before Diluc had backed off.
The kiss was returned to Kaeya’s utmost joy. And it didn’t end on only one.
“I helped you two get together! I hope I deserve a good fight for that!” Childe shouted as the pair left the scene in a loving embrace.