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He was used to walking the same path every day. The house was far from the hustle of the village, there were a few large houses around, but none close enough for someone to notice the child who left the house every day and didn't come back until dinner time. Kakashi knew somewhere in his head that the reason was probably the fact that they just didn't care.
He walked the streets as he usually would after meeting with his team, he had been part of Team Minato for a few months already and it would seem that Minato’s decision to keep Kakashi was definitive.
After being promoted to Chunin, Kakashi had sent in a request to rent one of the apartments where the Jōnin and Chunin usually lived, but it had been denied by the Hokage, who had apparently decided that Kakashi couldn’t have his own apartment until he was at least ten years old.
As he got closer to the heart of the village, the noise grew louder around him, he ignored it to instead concentrate on the different smells of the establishments and restaurants around him, trying to identify the ingredients of the dishes they served as a small challenge for himself. His stomach growled, but Kakashi didn't stop until he reached the lake full of fish close to the training grounds.
Once there, he carefully took the fishing rod out of its case and put the small wooden basket that he usually carried with himself on the grass. The wind ruffled his hair, but it didn’t worry Kakashi, the last time he had brushed it had been the day before, after taking a shower.
He caught two medium fish, which he carefully placed inside the basket.
It was a Tuesday, meaning that the market would most likely be empty, an excellent opportunity for Kakashi to buy groceries.
A month before his father's death, word had already spread in the village that they were pretty much at war, these news also included the fact that it had mostly been a consequence of Sakumo's failed mission. That was when the villagers, both shinobi and civilian, started talking behind his back, throwing hateful glances at both Sakumo and Kakashi. Most of the civilian villagers had even chosen to deny Sakumo entry to the establishments when the man tried to buy groceries for him and his son. Unfortunately, that had not changed after his suicide.
Almost a year later, Kakashi still had to put up with the loudly whispered and barely supressed insults. The villagers often looked at him with something akin to hatred and more than once had some drunkard tried to physically attack him while others simply ignored the scene before them.
After obtaining his Chunin vest, most of the aggressions diminished, the rumors about the ability of the young prodigy were not ignored by anyone, not even by the civilians who now looked at him with a mixture of hatred, pity and fear, still whispering as he passed by.
"What is that boy still doing here? You'd think the Hokage would have banished him by now for being the son of who started the war."
"How can he live with the shame?"
Kakashi had heard it all.
Making sure the basket was tightly closed, he jumped around the rooftops and streets until he reached one of the small stores that allowed him in without problem, the lady who attended the small shop greeted him with a slightly shy smile that reminded Kakashi of the words of the owners "Remember to come in and leave fast. I don't want any problems with my clients".
Kakashi quickly took what he needed, paid and sneaked out as fast as he had gotten there.
On his way back home, he passed by the Yamanaka Flower Shop, where one of the owners, the head of the Yamanaka Clan, Inoichi, was fixing some wild roses. It reminded Kakashi that his father's birthday was just around the corner. The thought made him feel a thug in his heart that he fought with anger and resentment and he continued his journey. He would buy a flower then, a Lilly. Inoichi-San let him buy flowers at his shop, even if he usually didn't speak to him, not even meeting his eye, and whenever he thought Kakashi was not looking, Inoichi would look at him with too much sadness and pity it made Kakashi curl his hands into fists.
On the day of his father's funeral, if it could even be called that. Inoichi had not been there but he had given him five lilies wrapped in a red ribbon, which Kakashi had then put on the improvised gravestone he had put over the place he had buried his father. It was ironic that Sakumo himself had taught him that same jutsu a year ago when he buried the bodies of rogue Shinobi. His father always buried his fallen enemies.
“Graves and prayers are not just for the dead, Kakashi, they are also markers for the living”. Sakumo had told him that day.
Inoichi had not said anything, retreating back to the shop while his wife, a slim woman with long blonde hair and green eyes had given Kakashi a white rose.
It was late when he finally arrived home. He greeted the empty house that replied with the same enthusiasm in the form of the echo of his own voice.
It had taken him more than the usual 60 minutes to get home, but only because he had found some aromatic herbs by the side of the road: rosemary and thyme, perfect for that day's recipe. Lucky for him, while he was picking them, he had also found a few wild tomatoes which he had also put inside of the basket.
He still had enough carrots and eggplants in the garden to eat for the rest of the week, but he would have to wait to have a solo mission of a higher rank than the ones he was usually sent with Team Minato to be able to buy other things like rice and flour.
The last mission he went on alone left him with a good deal of Ryo, but also a wound that he didn't know how to heal himself, which had guaranteed him a visit to the local pharmacy to buy bandages and medicine, as well as the need to get new clothes.
He had managed to transform his father's clothes into clothes for himself, especially his smaller shirts, although no matter how hard he had tried, sewing the pants to make them five times smaller was a challenge that he had not yet mastered, and he couldn’t risk finishing the thread that he had left. So, he had headed to a clothing store that he had seen on one of the crowded streets near the Academy, where they sold the usual Jōnin blues and blacks as well as some other pieces for shinobi and Kunoichi.
The girl at the store had regarded him with sympathy as Kakashi took three pairs of the same type of pants in a slightly larger size than he was, before sliding them over the counter, standing on his tip toes to reach it, handing over the money to pay for them.
The girl had helped him by putting the coins on his hand, without saying a word, when she realized that Kakashi could not reach them due to his small height.
"Thank you for the food" He said to the wall as he carefully ate the fish. The herbs and tomatoes he picked had been a good combination, his stomach finally appeased after so many hours of not eating and the rigorous training of that morning.
After eating, he cleaned the kitchen, then the bathrooms and the rooms in the house. It was almost midnight when he prepared to sleep, brushing his teeth and taking a quick bath so as not to waste water: if he managed not to do so, he would have enough money to pay the electricity and water bill, as well as even get new seeds for his garden. A smile appeared under his mask when he thought of what seeds he could buy, maybe he could even have his own tangerine tree! The image of a big tree full of the colorful fruit flooded his mind and Kakashi closed his eyes for a moment, soaking in the happiness of the passing thought for as long as possible.
He dragged a tatami into the kitchen, along with his blankets and a pillow. Every day, he would return them to his room but ended up taking them back to the kitchen at night, unable to sleep alone in any of the rooms of the house. Whenever he tried, he would always wake up gasping for air, images of that night invading his head, fear making him believe that if he walked into the living room looking for him, he would find the blood spread all over the floor, flooding his feet, flooding the house until he drowned, screaming for his father but being met by only a body with lifeless eyes.
He settled into his little nest and covered himself completely with the blanket, turning around until he was wrapped up in it. He would always hold his Tantō firmly under the covers.
Kakashi closed his eyes as he thought about the possibility of meeting Gai the next day, maybe they could go together in search for seeds, surely the other boy would know where to find them before Kakashi had to spend money on them. He shook his head. Kakashi couldn't waste time looking for seeds with Gai or with anyone for that matter, he had to look for the possibility of obtaining another B-rank mission, perhaps even another A-rank one, anything that would allow him to further develop his skills and the new Jutsus he was working on, as well as earn him money. After all, he knew he could be promoted to Jōnin quickly if he continued to fulfill his missions successfully.
Still, the image of Dai cooking for Gai and Kakashi after the Chunin exam, where he had defeated Gai, came to his mind. Dai had been truly happy to see him and that had given Kakashi an uncontrollable urge to cry and hug him, as well as an urge to run and hide in the forest. Instead, he had stayed to eat and then Gai had woken him up the next day asking for a rematch.
Kakashi turned to his right side and the action left him facing the kitchen door, which was open, revealing the sliding doors to the living room. On the left side of the sliding door frame, on a coat rack, hung the green scarf that had been his favorite until that night.
Sakumo had brought him the scarf after a mission in snowy territory. He had come home with blood-stained clothes, although he had assured Kakashi, even before the boy had asked him, that the blood didn’t belong to him.
He still remembered the smile that had settled on his father’s lips when Kakashi jumped and Sakumo caught him, listening to Kakashi's many questions about his mission as he carried his son back to his room.
Before leaving, he had raised his head like he had just remembered something, and then he had carefully taken the green scarf from his back pouch, where he usually carried weapons as well as Tetsu's summoning scroll. When Sakumo had put it around the child's neck, Kakashi had been fascinated with the piece of clothing and, although the scarf was long enough to drag if he wasn't careful, it quickly became his favorite piece to wear besides his mask. It made him feel like he had his father's long hair and it also helped him hide his nose from any unpleasant smell that was strong enough to penetrate his mask.
Kakashi closed his eyes for a moment and before he could convince himself not to, he unwrapped himself from the blankets, getting the green cloth. His eyes had drifted for a moment in the way, landing on the hallway that lead to the living room.
The scarf was just as soft as he remembered.
When he got back under the covers, he held the Tantō once more, he also hugged the scarf, letting his face rest on the soft fabric. He closed his eyes as silent tears rolled down his cheeks.
It was after midnight when the last Hatake, wrapped in memories and the blanket with his Clan symbol engraved, finally fell asleep.