Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Caleb’s fingers fluttered above the cold railing of the shopping mall. He suffered a moment of hesitation: he did not look forward to explaining to Veth that the job at Kryn & Kryn Lawyers was not going to work out. He genuinely did not think that he would be a good fit for the job: right from the start, the interview had been uncomfortable and awkward, and he felt like Mr. Bilan had not shown much respect. But then – what did he expect? Caleb was a human in Rosohna after all.

After leaving the employ of Cerberus Education, moving to Rosohna and erring for some time, he had yet to find a job. He did not regret leaving, no – leaving Cerberus had been the best decision he had ever made. There was something about that kind of manipulative environment that just made you feel like you owed everything to your employer. And his then-boss, Ikithon, had taken advantage of his eagerness and willingness to learn. Yes, he was glad to have left, and glad to put his past behind.

Caleb just hoped that Kryn & Kryn would not be calling him back: it would keep him from having to explain why he did not think it would work. Though, he mentally corrected, they would be calling the employment agency back, not him. In fact, the presence of a middleman added a layer of complexity to his situation: even though the agency would not force him to take a job, he knew he could only refuse a certain amount of job offers. If he refused all the time, they would stop considering him for positions, and Caleb would have to take up the job-hunting process on his own again.

He combed his hand through his hair and started making his way down the stairs, through the food court and towards the subway entrance. The sounds and smells of fast-food meals being cooked made his stomach growl, even though his nerves were not fully settled yet. Wait, no – not his stomach; his phone was buzzing.

He pawed his way through his coat and fished out his phone. When he looked at the screen, his heart sank. It was Bryce, from the agency.

He tried to find a quiet corner to answer it, pushing his way through a small crowd. Once he found an alcove to settle himself in, he slid the answering button.

“Caleb Widogast,” came his formal answer, neutral-toned to hide his anxiety.

“Hello Caleb, it’s Bryce, from Alfield Agency. Is this a good moment to speak?” the voice on the other side smiled.

“Of course. How can I help?”

Bryce responded eagerly. “Well, how did the interview go?”

“Oh, you know, I do not think that they will want to hire me – perhaps I am not a good fit for the position.” Caleb calculated his strategy. “It’s alright though, I am very thankful to have gotten the chance to interview with Kryn & Kryn Lawyers-” he continued, but he was interrupted before he could ramble on any further.

“Oh, that’s strange. Why don’t you think it went well?” Bryce asked, their enthusiasm dampened.

Caleb hesitated. “Well, Mr. Bilan didn’t seem to take much of a liking to some of my responses. And I am afraid that I am not quite the employee he had in mind…” Thinking back, he had the feeling that Bilan was one of those folks who acted like they were honoring everyone around them with the gift of their presence.

Thankfully, the other interviewer, though they were drow as well, did not have that air about them. Veth had told him that the people of Rosohna were beginning to open up, and people like Bilan were fewer and farther between than they used to be.

“I’m sorry that you didn’t have a good experience with Mr. Bilan,” responded Bryce, “but I think you might have gotten the wrong impression. In Rosohna, people are a little more reserved than in the Empire, and drow tend to have a special kind of attitude sometimes." They chuckled, then added promptly: "However, the interview didn’t go as badly as you think: Mr. Bilan called me to ask if you can start tomorrow!”

Caleb froze. He had thought he would get a bit more time to prepare his response.

“Oh,” he paused. “Ah, I thank you for that information, Bryce. I just do not think… that it will be a good fit. I am sorry.”

Bryce did not let up. “Look, Caleb. I know that Mr. Bilan is… a drow of his generation. But look at it this way: Kryn & Kryn offers generous standardized pay scales, good benefits, and it’s your first job experience in the Dynasty. He’s far past the age of retirement – it’s only a matter of time before he leaves. And he shouldn’t give you any trouble. If he’s condescending, there’s still not much bite behind his bark.” Then, Bryce paused for a moment. Their tone was more honest when they continued. “I know that it’s hard, to start afresh in a new place. People here are set in their own ways. But maybe you can think about it? I do genuinely think you’d be a good fit for this position, and at least, Bilan was pleased with your interview.”

“Ach, Bryce. You are very kind to me, but I am just unsure about the position. It is not just Mr. Bilan – the job itself is not very defined. I’m not even sure what I’ll do when I’m there…” Caleb replied, though he felt like he was grasping for straws.

“I know. But see, Caleb, that’s why I thought of you for this position. You’re intelligent and you have a versatile profile. I know the position doesn’t seem well-defined, and I think it’s because Mr. Bilan doesn’t know what he needs quite yet. There’s space for you to grow, there. Kryn & Kryn is a good workplace, and they hire a few humans. This is just an administrative assistant position, but you’re likely to get a chance to work with all sorts of other people from other departments!” Bryce paused again, giving Caleb time to process. “You know, it’s okay. I know you’re concerned about it, but agency policy states that you’ve got the right to refuse jobs at least a few times before we reconsider your candidacy. I just genuinely think this is an interesting fit, and you might find that you enjoy working there after all.”

“Bryce, I appreciate your honesty on this. It is good to know that I can refuse.” Caleb ran his hand over his face and trimmed beard, massaging his jaw that was sore from his earlier smiling. Bryce did have a few good points. “I am not going to start tomorrow; I need to discuss this and think about it. Perhaps instead, I could give you an answer Friday?”

“Friday’s good. That gives them a bit more time to prepare for your arrival. Take the time you need,” Bryce acquiesced. “If you agree, then you could start next Monday.” Bryce shuffled some papers around on the other side of the line. “Caleb, I’m not the best at this ‘insisting’ thing, and I only do it when I think it’s for the best. Remember that you can refuse, but also remember that this might surprise you. I think you’re a great fit, and evidently, I’m not the only one.”

“Danke schön, Bryce, I appreciate your help. I will email you with my response before Friday,” Caleb murmured.

After finishing the call, Caleb stepped down towards the subway entrance and started making his way to his and Veth’s apartment. He traveled into the subway car deep in thought, lulled into a calmer state by the neon blue lights. From his neighborhood’s subway entrance, he emerged and trudged through the snow until he reached the pedestrian crossing.

While he was waiting for the traffic light to change in his favor, his eyes wandered towards the luxurious car next to him.

Right away, he recognized the drow in the drivers’ seat, though he could not remember his name. It was the other interviewer. His interview had been mostly directed by Bilan, who had made him most uncomfortable, and as such, Caleb’s attention had been towards other things. Now, however, he could observe his other interviewer to his heart’s content.

The drow, handsome with his dark purple skin and full lips, seemed to have them set into a dejected pout. He was talking out loud to his car – Caleb assumed he was on the phone. One elegant hand ran through his pale hair. It was cleanly shorn on the sides, and combined with the ivory dress shirt he wore, unrestricted by a tie, the man seemed almost effortlessly attractive. From the car, he waved his hand in exasperation, seemingly responding to something he disagreed with. Caleb, though he was sure he had not been noticed, realized he had been staring.

The light turned green and the car went away, but Caleb’s thoughts stayed with the handsome drow. He did not even know what position he held, or why he had been in there to interview him. Perhaps he was from HR – but if not, that meant there was the slightest possibility that Caleb might be called to work with him.

He found the idea more appealing than was probably good for him.

Shaking the drow from his thoughts, he realized that he had been thinking as though he had already accepted the job. “Ich habe noch nicht gewählt – give me a little bit more time. I need to talk with Veth,” he absent-mindedly responded to an imaginary Bryce.

Later in the evening, Veth came home from work, clumsily wrestling her boots off. Caleb went to help her with her coat, but she waved him off and shot him an appraising look.

“Caleb! How was the interview? How did it go?” she asked him with as much enthusiasm as her tired face could muster. Frumpkin weaved his way between her legs and meowed for attention.

“Ah, it went… well, I suppose-” he began, but was soon cut off by his small friend.

“Aw, that’s great. It seemed like a good fit. Did you talk to the agency? When will you get an answer?” she pushed, fussing around the entrance of their shared apartment, putting away her gloves and scarf and various things she kept in her pockets.

“Well, I did get an answer-” he hesitated, but he could not bear to keep a small smile off his face when Veth’s face shot up towards him and her eyes widened.

“You did? What- did they hire you? Of course. You’re so smart. I would hire you if I could. Did they hire you? They’d better have!” she rambled for a moment, making her way into the kitchen. She seemed to sense his uncertainty, though, and stopped. She stepped on a stool, turned towards him and narrowed her eyes. “What’s going on? You don’t seem convinced.”

“I don’t know, Schatz. My boss does not seem very friendly… but the job itself seems like a good opportunity. It would be my first job in the Dynasty, so I am thinking I should take what I can get, ja?” She opened her mouth to respond but he added, “They want me to start on Monday”, leaving out the fact that he had been the one asking for the delay.

“You know, Caleb, I wouldn’t want you to find yourself in a bad work environment. Unfriendly bosses are one thing – but bad bosses are a whole other story. I wouldn’t want you to be in a similar situation to the one at Cerberus.” She frowned.

“Oh no, I do not think that it is something like that. Cerberus gave me a good impression at first, and the people made me eager to prove myself.” Caleb felt a slight prickle of shame hit him as he thought back to his other job. He sometimes thought about where he would be if he had stayed. A shudder crept up his spine and his head gave a near-imperceptible shake. He was not going down that rabbit hole tonight. “No, I think it might just be that I am uncertain, Veth. This man is older, and not very open-minded; also, I am not sure what my day-to-day will consist of. That is why I am unconvinced.”

“Well, Lebby,” she retorted, using the strange nickname she had devised for when she felt motherly. “You’re amazing and you’ll blow them all away. I know that much. Even that old geezer will have to see it.”

Caleb smiled and patted her head. “I am lucky to have you, mein freund – There’s some rice and beans in there, I can reheat that for you if you’d like,” he added when he saw her attention drift to the fridge.

She waved him off and started rummaging through the freezer, her feet barely touching the stool anymore. A little more, and she would disappear in there, Caleb smiled to himself.

He went to his coat, grabbed his phone and started drafting an email to Bryce. He had things to look forward to.

Chapter Text

“’Sup, nerd? I’m Beau.”

“Ah, Hallo, Miss Beau,” Caleb winced through the pain of a too-enthusiastic handshake. “I am Caleb Widogast.” He withdrew his hand but kept his face pleasant, looking down at the still-sitting human woman.

“Yeah, I know.” She responded. “You’re the new guy – I got the memo and everything. Bilan isn’t here yet.”

That morning, Caleb had arrived exactly 14 minutes early, and as such, had to wait outside. After a few minutes, a joyfully frazzled tiefling had come up to him, shoved her mittens and her large pink bag into his arms and rummaged through said bag to find a key. She let them both in and introduced herself as Jester Lavorre, receptionist. As she took off her coat and changed shoes, she held a delightfully one-sided conversation with him. It did, in a way, make him feel welcome.

The tiefling – Jester – had then led him, continuing the conversation as they went, through a corridor and into an L-shaped corner office. Surprisingly, the door was open – most everything was closed at this hour, as people would start to arrive in the next hour. In the office was a large desk with a tall chair (likely for a halfling or other smaller race), a few filing cabinets, as well as a smaller desk in the corner, near the largest window. On that smaller desk, a dark-skinned human woman was frowning at a large screen. Her eyes had shot up when he entered her field of vision, and he hesitated under her frowning scrutiny.

After she had shaken his hand, the woman continued. “People will start arriving soon.” She looked at him expectantly.

Jester intervened. “Oh, but Beau, Caleb has no one to show him around! You should be the one to do it.” She had pronounced his name with a heavy Nicodranian accent, almost as if it were spelled Cay-leb. He found that he did not mind; it was endearing, and so was she, for all her overwhelming sweetness.

Beau, however, did not seem to agree with the tiefling. “Jester, come on. You know everyone, and everyone loves you… Just show him around! I’ve got to finish closing off the month.” She hunched down to return to her screen.

Caleb bristled at the implication that he was unwelcome. He opened his mouth to excuse himself, but Jester was faster. “Beau. That’s not nice,” she chided, her voice holding a stern undertone. The human had the decency to appear flustered.

“Hey man,” Beau turned to him. “Sorry. I’m just really stressed out. It’s not personal.” She turned back to Jester and said, “I’ll show him around, no worries. Thanks, Jester.” The tiefling gave Beau a winning smile, grinned at Caleb and shot him a thumbs-up, then left.

Beau rose to her feet and grabbed his shoulder. “Jester always gets her way,” she smirked. “But she’s not wrong. We round-eared empire bastards ‘ve got to stick together, huh?” Caleb gave her a faint smile at that.

She led him through a maze of corridors and showed him various important places. Kryn & Kryn had about 80 employees, most of them lawyers. He was one of the few people, with Beau, who were going to work under Bilan, Director of Administrative Services. Beau (Beauregard was her full name, as he found out) pointed him to a small desk in an open-work area. “This is yours. You’re next to Pumat – he’s the archivist. I think he’s gonna need your help with some stuff in the next few weeks.”

“And what do you do here, Beauregard?” Caleb turned to ask her as he set his travel mug on the surface. He hoped he would get the chance to drink his tea before it got cold.

Her face seemed to perk up. “Well, I am on my way to being Controller.”

“Ah, head of accounting, ja?”

“Yeah, you could say that. Right now, I’m just in training for the job. If you see a short elf, dark skin walking around with an impressive poker face, that’s Dairon. She doesn’t work here, but she’s been hired as interim and she’s showing me the ropes.” Caleb could detect a sliver of pride in her eyes, the kind that could only come from hard work.

“Is she occupying the other desk that is in your office?” Caleb inquired.

“No, no, she sits with me when she’s on-premises – which isn’t often. The other desk is Abrianna Mirimm. She’s worked here for, like, ever. She’s an accounting clerk, and she handles your paycheck, so don’t mess with her!” Beauregard continued with mock seriousness. A smile then peeked through her expression. “She’s nice, though old-school. If she takes a liking to you, you might learn a thing or two from her old bones.”

At the same moment, the office seemed to wake from its early-morning slumber and people started coming in. Beauregard showed Caleb around various people. Sometimes, she would usher Caleb subtly past some of their colleagues, not saying a word to them; sometimes, she would greet them with open arms and a shit-eating grin. Caleb made diligent mental notes of which colleagues were which. For all her rudeness, he had a feeling that Beauregard was a good egg, and perhaps not a bad judge of character.

She presented him to the large bovine-faced archivist, Pumat, who shook his hand with a dopey smile and composed interest. “Well, Mister, if you ever get bored or you’re not sure what to do, and you can’t find Mr. Bilan around, just come on to my little desk and I’ll always have something for ya,” he kindly offered – though Caleb did not think that he would be bored. Or did he? He hoped that he wouldn’t get the chance to be bored… Oh gods, he thought, the job description is vague and there is no sight of Bilan. They wouldn’t just leave me in a corner to rot, would they?

His fear was not unfounded. Beauregard showed him around and finished presenting him to most of his colleagues. She led him back to his desk and answered some of his questions. But soon, even she could tell that he was stalling for time, trying to avoid being left alone in an unfamiliar environment.

“Look, dude, I dunno where Bilan is. I’m sorry, I don’t wanna just leave you like this, but I really gotta get back to closing off the month.”

“Beauregard, it’s okay. I will go and see our friend Pumat, who has kindly offered his assistance,” Caleb excused.

“Okay, yeah. Same, y’know: I’m not sure what’s in your job description, but maybe we’ll get to work together. In any case, you know where my office is, and you just come see me if you need help, okay?” Beau’s voice lowered. “We gotta stick together, huh?” She smiled and gave him a friendly punch in the shoulder.

Fortunately, it was as he was looking for Pumat (who had left his desk) that he found Bilan’s hunched form taking off his boots near the front desk. Caleb was not sure if he had a different schedule, or just could not be bothered to come in at the same time as everyone else – in any case, he held his tongue, took a deep breath, and approached the man. “Hello, Mr. Bilan. I trust that you are doing well?”

“Ah, Widogast. Welcome. Did the receptionist show you to your desk?” He did not look up from the shoe he was wiping clean.

Jester’s voice piped up from the front desk: “I did, Mr. Bilan! He’s met most of his coworkers. He’s aaaall yours now!” She made sure to insist on the last part. Bless her for that, Caleb mused.

“Hmrng!” Bilan grunted as he lifted himself back to his feet. He ignored Caleb for a few seconds, going through his pockets and making sure everything was where it should be. Upon seeing that Caleb was still waiting a respectful distance away, the drow turned towards him and said, “well, I suppose we’ll go into my office. Follow me.”

Bilan led Caleb through the halls and into a small room, ushered him inside and closed the door behind them. Caleb’s heart dropped down to his stomach, remembering previous experiences – but he shook it off and reported his attention to his employer, who motioned for him to sit.

“Well, Widogast, we’ve been looking for someone to fill in this position for quite some time. Nobody’s got quite the profile yet, but maybe you’ll be fine.” He did not deign to lift his eyes from the papers. “Here’s your contract. You can sign it at the bottom. Third page. Use a pen.”

Caleb looked at the drow and decided not to take offense at anything the man had just said. Instead, he took the time to read through the contract – everything looked in order. He signed and handed it back to Bilan.

“I have several documents that I need you to organize. This blasted place is full of lawyers, yet somehow, none of them can keep their papers together, least of all contracts. I want you to go through these filing cabinets outside,” he motioned towards the door of his small office, “and log each contract into a chart. Date, provider, cancellation clauses. You can make a chart, can’t you?”

Caleb nodded, unsure if he was misunderstanding the simplicity of the task at hand. “I am proficient in Excel; I should be able to organize something satisfactory for you. Though depending on the tools at my disposition, I can also use a relational database of some sort. Are there any requirements to this system you want me to build?”

The old man waved him off and referred him to the archivist before continuing: “I’ll have a few policies printed and sent to you. You will have to read them and sign your agreement. Now come, we’ll have you do the confidentiality statement in front of a commissioner.”

Caleb rose and followed Bilan further into the labyrinth of offices. He had tried to get a good lay of the land when he was with Beau, but there was so much to take in then. He found himself making a mental note of who was in which office, until one made him pause. 

The office itself was sleek and its design was tasteful. Great care had been put into making it minimalistic yet artfully arranged. The colors were mostly monochrome, with a single splash of colour, that Caleb could see, from the dark purple overcoat that was thrown across a corner chair. There was little furniture visible from the door save for two items. 

The desk complemented the room very well. Sleek, slender legs supported a glass top upon which sat very deliberately arranged accompaniments. Stationary was in easy reach, paper and other files just so. An array of seemingly carefully chosen books stood on the side. But what caught Caleb's eyes the most was the occupant sitting in the chair.

The handsome drow who had interviewed him last week was sitting there, worrying his lip with a fountain pen. He had a large file opened on his knees, and his legs were crossed as he leaned back. He was frowning – no, scowling. As Bilan prepared to turn the corner, Caleb’s eyes barely had time to find the door and read what was written on the sign before he followed his new boss. The door read: Essek Thelyss – IT manager.

Chapter Text

Caleb sighed as he flopped another beige file on top of a growing pile. His already-small desk was completely stacked with file towers of varying size. Pumat had, after all, recommended that he bring as many as he could work on, to limit trips to the archives. Unfortunately, the firbolg had underestimated Caleb’s appetite for optimization. Upon seeing that Caleb had brought no less than eight archival boxes full of case files, Pumat had disappeared into a hallway and reappeared a few minutes later with a trolley.

“Hey there, little friend… This trolley here’ll help you bring the boxes back downstairs.” Pumat had pointed to the files. “I forgot to tell you: the files are too confidential to stay out overnight,” he explained, apologetic. “If I had told you, you might, ah, have taken a little less of them with you.”

Caleb waved it off with a nervous laugh. “Rookie mistake, ja?” The firbolg offered a dopey smile and responded with his usual good-natured drawl: “You’ll get the hang of it in no time.” Pumat then went back to work, leaving Caleb to stare at the towering files in dejection.

It was not that Caleb was afraid of not ‘getting the hang of it’, as Pumat had put it. It was that Caleb was bored out of his mind. If he had not been certain what the job description entailed before accepting it, Caleb was even less certain now. First, he barely ever saw Bilan. He had been hired as an assistant to Administrative Services, so he was supposed to work closely with the old drow. However, Bilan was hardly ever available: he would show up late in the day, and without a word to his team, lock himself inside his office. Not that Caleb necessarily looked forward to working with him– but not seeing Bilan meant not having any work to do, and frankly, there was no better way to make Caleb turn insane than keeping him idle.

To his credit, Bilan had tried in the beginning. He had asked his new employee to classify some contracts (giving a lengthy explanation that made Caleb painfully aware that the drow had absolutely no sense of how Excel worked). Caleb had set himself to the task, and, speaking with Pumat, determined a few specific improvements for the system that Bilan would benefit from. When his work was over (it had taken him 12 hours and 34 minutes, spread over 3 days), he was pleased with himself.

His satisfaction was short-lived. He had emailed the file to Bilan with relevant information, but never got a response. After two days of wondering whether his boss might have missed the email, he had hesitantly knocked on Bilan’s door. He was rewarded with a startled grunt, a “What is it?”, and had to explain through the crack of a door that he had sent the file. Bilan huffed his thanks and sent him away. That was the last time Caleb had interacted with his boss – and it had been 3 weeks since then.

In the meantime, Pumat’s offer had given Caleb some modicum of relief. The archivist always had things to work on, even if they were the most mind-numbingly boring file verifications such as today’s. Caleb sighed and rose to his feet. He took a moment to stretch – his legs had gone numb from sitting all morning.

Pumat was good company, and Caleb was thankful for his presence, but he was growing more and more frustrated. He had ambitions, drive, and though he technically had no work experience (he had elected to leave his job at Cerberus Education off his resume), he was competent. A shiver of frustration made its way up Caleb’s spine, rising to a familiar place on his chest that was normally reserved for anxiety. He took a deep breath, exhaled slowly and brought his arms behind his back to stretch. He would give himself a week. If things did not get better by then, he would start looking for another job.

Caleb rolled up his sleeves and tied his hair back into a low ponytail, then proceeded to load boxes on the trolley. On his way to the elevator, he saw Abrianna Mirimm in her and Beau’s office, hunched on her tall chair.

He had barely had any interactions with the elderly goblin, but Beauregard spoke well of her. As he passed by with the trolley, the tiny woman lifted her head and straightened her glasses on top of her nose and gave him a curt nod. Caleb’s ears reddened and he responded with a quick nod of his own before hurrying away. He did not mind doing this kind of work, but he thought of himself as an intellectual, and he did not want his colleagues to think he was a maintenance worker. There is so much for me to prove yet, he thought, reaching the front of the elevator. If his boss and colleagues thought he was only good at physical tasks, as Rosohna denizens tended to assume humans were, he would never get the chance to advance and work his way into more challenging work. Maybe there was little hope for him here. Maybe he should return to the Empire. Caleb heaved a sigh and leaned his forehead on the trolley handle, his back bending forward in dejection.

“Excuse me,” came a soft, clipped voice next to him. Caleb startled back to the present and turned to see a familiar drow – not the old bat, he thought, the handsome one.

The drow continued: “You might have forgotten to press the button.”

Caleb flushed red and pressed the button promptly.  “Ach, thank you,” he stumbled. “Herr Thelyss, I believe?” He winced as soon as the words came out of his mouth. The drow would likely not think highly of his strong Zemnian accent. He tried to keep it reined in when he continued. “I am Caleb Widogast. I don’t believe we’ve formally met-”

“We have. I was at your interview,” Thelyss responded impassively.

Caleb cursed himself. What an impression I am making… Dummkopf! He tried to slow down his thoughts.

“Yes, natürlich. I -I mean, naturally. I meant that I did not get the chance to-”

The elevator chose that moment to ding! and open its doors. The space inside was rather cramped. Caleb was mortified.

“After you, Mr. Thelyss.” He managed to croak out. It was better if he just waited for the elevator to come back.

Thelyss made his way into the elevator and spun around. Caleb might have been wrong, but he thought he perceived a slight limp in his step.

“Well,” the drow pursed his lips. “Are you coming in?”

“Oh – ja, I – I’m sorry, I didn’t think – because of the trolley, it’s – ” he stumbled on his words, then painfully extirpated himself from the sheer embarrassment of the situation and wordlessly pushed his trolley into the elevator. He was only halfway through when the elevator door started closing on him. Thelyss pressed a button to open the doors again, but the sensor was too slow, and the doors persisted and dug into Caleb's shoulder. The trolley was pushed askew. A defeated grunt left Caleb's mouth.

He took a deep breath and put his foot forward to reorient the trolley, extending some effort to get it into the elevator. Once itwas secure, he slipped in and straightened himself, pushing a lock of hair behind his ear. Determined to keep his composure, he waited a beat before turning to the other occupant.

Was he imagining things, or did the purple of the drow'scheeks seem just a little darker?

Thelyss seemed to shift his attention, all his focus now directed to one of the elevator knobs with a mask of passiveness. Interesting, Caleb thought. Thelyss then stared back at him, quirked an eyebrow in irritation. Caleb couldn’t help but notice, however, the flush that was still present on the drow’s cheeks and ears. Why would he be embarrassed? Caleb mused.

His thoughts led him in an entirely inappropriate direction. Ach, wirklich? The drow was not flustered because of him, was he?

“Which floor?” The drow asked, his voice even.

I should find out. Hypotheses are no good until they are tested. Caleb gave a soft, apologetic nod to Thelyss and extended his arm towards the elevator buttons, brushing slightly past the other man. Not too close, not too far – just enough to see if I am right. As Caleb extended his index and pressed on his destination, he trained his eyes on his own fingers, and let them brush on the console for a split-second before retreating to his standing spot. After a beat, he looked up to find the drow’s eyes on him, a strange expression in them – a curious mix, perhaps, between frustration and curiosity. The expression was gone nearly as soon as he had seen it, and Thelyss’s face was impassible once more.

The elevator ride was silent, and Caleb weathered it without much assurance, still trying to find his footing. He could not stop himself from further theorizing on Thelyss’s reaction. Ach, you are being childish. Just hope that you did not make him uncomfortable, he fretted.

The elevator dinged! again and opened onto a lower floor. Caleb stepped out of the elevator and courteously held its door open so that Thelyss had enough space to exit. He was rewarded with a rapid glance and a nod. Thelyss, now several feet away, pulled out a card and scanned his access through a door Caleb had never visited. As the elevator closed once more, Caleb observed once more the slight limp of the man, before he decided to avert his eyes. He was proud, and likely would not take well to Caleb’s attention. Though, he thought, recalling Thelyss' curious reaction to his proximity, it might depend on the context. He gave a soundless chuckle at that thought. Get your mind out of the gutter, Widogast. Drow do not find humans attractive. Caleb smirked and shook his head slowly as he entered the archives.

When he came back to his desk after completing his task, he saw a familiar figure flipping idly through his files.

“Beauregard, may I help you?” Caleb asked, reaching the human.

She spun around with a scowl, though he guessed it was not meant for him, since it disappeared from her face as quickly as it had appeared. Perhaps the scowl is just her normal face, then, and this is her equivalent of a welcoming smile, he mused.

“Oh, Caleb. Yeah, actually, sorry. I was just waiting for you.” She responded, putting the files back on his desk. “You mind coming with me? I need your help with something,” she continued.  

Caleb nodded and followed her to what he recognized as the supplies room. She ushered him in and locked the door behind them.

“Should I be worried?” Caleb joked – he was not afraid of Beauregard, merely curious.

“Nah, I just can’t bring you to my office since Mirimm is in there… but okay, first of all –” Beauregard put her hands in front of herself in an appeasing motion, “– I want to formally apologize for the old fuck.”

Caleb chuckled, surprised. “Yeah, well. Anything in particular, or just in general?” he inquired.

“He asked you to do something and then you never heard of it again, am I right?” Beauregard continued. “That thing you did for him – the Excel file. It had, like, macros and shit. You can hold your own against a spreadsheet. Am I wrong?”

“Nein, Beauregard, it is on my CV.”

“Yeah, but you’re actually competent.” She rolled her eyes. “Most people put that on there, but they can barely work out an auto-sum.”

“So, you didn’t think I was competent?” Caleb teased.

“Well, you know –” Beauregard waved her hands around “– I just get focused in my work, and occasionally forget other people are complex beings. What are you gonna do,” she shrugged, then narrowed her eyes at him. “You’ve been holding out on me. I need some help, and you’re bored out of your mind. Come work with me,” she offered.

His lips twitched into a smile. “I would love to do that, Beauregard.”

She held out her hands in a defensive motion. “Now, I’m not your boss or anything, so I can’t, like, switch your position or anything. But sometimes, as I’ve learned –” she shot him a mournful look, “– you’ve gotta work twice as hard to get noticed.”

Caleb looked into her eyes. Beau likely had to work hard to get to where she was.

She continued. “So, if you’re up for it, maybe you can get a raise later, I dunno. I know it sucks and believe me, I’d adjust your salary if I could.”

Caleb nodded. “I understand.”

Beauregard gave him a grim smile. “So here’s the deal. Twice a week, I’ve got to reconcile my online accounts – PayPal, Stripe, Square. It’s a pain in the ass, but I promise it’s more interesting than what you currently do.”

She made her way to the door and unlocked it, continuing her explanation. “I’ve got an ongoing template for that, but you can improve on it if you want, I’ve just been making do with what time I have.” She stopped with her hand on the handle. “I’m trying to convince Bilan to make better use of you. If things go well, you could help me with payroll and receivables. I’ll just bother him until he caves in.”

Caleb smiled. “Well, show me the way, Miss Lionett.”

Beau stopped mid motion to face him fully. "Dude. Never call me that again, and we've got a deal- 'kay?"

They exited together and Caleb found that, interestingly, there was a spring in his step that had not been there for weeks. He turned to his friend. “Ja, we have a deal.”

Chapter Text

Caleb was hunched next to Beau, taking notes as she explained. “So, you’d put this into debits, but it goes into credits. I know it doesn’t make sense initially, but here, see how the total adds up now?” She pointed to a cell on the spreadsheet that Caleb had completed. “That’s all, you did the rest well,” she praised. Glancing at him, she saw his brows were furrowed.

“Beauregard, I know understanding why it goes into this column isn’t central to my execution of the task, but color me curious: it was in debits last week, so why has is this transaction different?” he asked, attentive.

She dove into an explanation, trying to stick to the basics – Caleb had no accounting background, so she didn’t want to confuse him. Around the first half of her explanation, though, he stopped her with a raised hand.

“So, the fundamental balance sheet equation dictates A = P + CP, and revenue goes into CP – that’s where I got lost. I think I understand it now.” He raised his eyes to meet hers and she glanced at his notes. His scribbles weren’t neat, but she could tell he had made sense of what she’d explained. She tried to contain her grin.  

“Yeah, uh… yeah! Damn, you’re good at this. Took me ages when I was in school.”

Caleb noticed Beauregard's attention shift to the door. Following her gaze, he saw Essek Thelyss standing in the doorway. Thelyss gave Beauregard a quizzical expression with a raised eyebrow, eyes flitting to Caleb momentarily. "Yeah, we're almost done! I'll meet you outside," she called in response. Satisfied, Thelyss nodded and slipped out wordlessly, vanishing from view.

Caleb looked to his colleague with confusion at the exchange.

Beauregard turned her attention to him once more. “Yeah, so okay. Next time, if a similar transaction comes in, just remember revenue goes in CP. You’ll get exposed to different cases as you do this more. Any other questions?”

“You are having lunch with Herr Thelyss?” he asked, ignoring the task at hand.

She squinted at him suspiciously, then shrugged. “Yeah, man. He’s cool.” When his stare didn’t lessen, she added: “He respects people who work hard. It plays in my favor.” She looked at the empty doorframe, then back at Caleb. “He’d like you, actually” she added as an afterthought.

Beau's office space was shared with her colleague Abrianna Mirimm. Caleb had had little interaction so far outside of a few courteous nods when passing, but at Beauregard's words his head shot towards their neighbour. To Caleb’s dismay, she had heard Beauregard's comment, and lifted her eyes from her screen to meet his. She then returned to her work without a word, but he thought he had seen a glint of amusement in her eyes.

Beauregard started packing her things into a drawer. “I’d invite you along, but I think he wanted to talk to me about some specific shit. You gonna be okay?”

“Ja, I am having lunch with Jester.” Caleb offered. “Thank you, Beauregard, do not worry about me.”

“Sure thing. See you in the afternoon,” she shot up, turning off her display and catching her keys and coat in a practiced motion. She gave him a wave and dashed out.

Caleb packed his notes and made his way towards Jester. He thought he had heard a soft, amused grunt from Abrianna Mirimm when he turned the corner.

***

“Yeah, man. He’s like, super quick. Probably way smarter than you, even.”

“I find that to be very unlikely, Beauregard,” Essek responded, amused. His leg was straining as they walked, but Beauregard’s pace was not too fast for him. Besides, he was enjoying her company, as refreshing as the cold winter air.

“It’s cause your brain is too full of insecurities and parental issues,” Beauregard teased, and when he laughed, she shook her head and joined him.

“I think we all have those, to a certain point,” he smiled knowingly.

“Anyway,” she changed the subject. “You’d get along, you two. He gets all focused when there’s something he doesn’t understand – like it’s a nut and he’s a very obsessive squirrel. Did you see that movie, with the mammoth and stuff?”

Essek shrugs. “I don’t believe so. Besides, I’m afraid he might not have the best opinion of me.”

Beauregard turns and looks at him knowingly. “Why, ‘cos you were rude to him?” She smirked. “I tried that, and it hasn’t stopped him from liking me.”

Essek gives a mournful nod. “It wasn’t a good day, and I was tired and… cranky.” His expression sours and he points to his left leg. “I was looking for a quiet place to think and, well – he tried to make conversation in the elevator.”

“Whoa, Caleb tried to make conversation with someone?” Beauregard joked, opening the door to a small restaurant called Melora’s Grove and holding it open for Essek. “You probably had quite the effect…”

“Don’t joke about these things, Beauregard. I am in a hierarchical position that would make it quite uncomfortable for him, I’m sure.” Essek retorted, his voice stern. Beauregard just shrugged at him, her smirk not wearing off. He let himself in and thanked her for holding the door.

They sat themselves into a corner with the ease that comes to regular customers. The restaurant, a vegetarian eatery run by a friendly and helpful pink-haired firbolg, was a personal favorite of Beau’s, and she had introduced Essek to it when they had started having lunch together.

“I can’t see Caduceus,” Beauregard craned her neck. “I can go up to the counter though. You want the usual?”

Essek nodded as she departed and lowered himself on his usual seat with a suppressed groan. He had much on his mind, and this lunch with Beauregard was a most welcome distraction from the perpetual garbage fire that was his work… and that, despite his best efforts, he was powerless to contain. His leg was painful these days, and if Beauregard had gone out of her way to help him enter the restaurant, then it must have shown more than usual. He could not afford to be weak; this was his chance to get his mother off his back and prove that he could make his own way into the corporate world. He needed her to stop breathing down his neck.

Essek leaned into his chair and allowed himself to let out an undignified huff. He had thoroughly enjoyed getting his degree in software engineering. However, his mother had been clear; if she were to pay for his studies, he was to get a “proper” job afterwards and become a manager like she had been. He cursed his lack of foresight: he would have been better off acquiring a tuition debt than owing anything more to his high-maintenance mother.

It was not that he hated what he was doing – he could deal with colleagues and enterprise politics. He found it entertaining, perhaps, to be the reference for all-things-IT in this small but prestigious law firm. He might even be able to instill a few pet projects of his own, and maybe – maybe… he would one day be done with his incompetent employee.

There was the rub: Essek was not a social person. He was… standoffish, perhaps. But he was not a sociopath, he enjoyed working with others who shared his curiosity and his thirst for knowledge. That was why Beauregard and he had become fast friends; they were both rude, and curious, and hard workers, and… they understood each other on many levels.

His subordinate Adeen Tasithar, on the other hand, was the most incompetent employee he could even have been stuck with. The sheer pain of thinking about him made Essek lift his head towards the ceiling, groan and rub his eyes. And Essek had only been working at Kryn & Kryn for 3 months– 

“Hot, hot hot-hot-hot-hothothot” Beauregard ’s voice came from behind him as she practically threw him a steaming bowl of soup. “Dude,” she sighed once both bowls were on the table, the broth settling with a moderate amount of spill, “I dunno how Cad does this all day.” Unfazed, Essek took his napkin and mopped up the stray broth with a practiced motion. He would gratefully settle into their usual routine to quiet his unnerving thoughts.

She settled into her chair and looked at her bowl, pleased with herself. Without any further pleasantries, she grabbed her chopsticks and began wolfing down noodles and vegetables.

“So,” she managed after they had both taken a few bites, “what’s up? I heard something was wrong with the servers the other day.”

 “We had an issue – in the middle of a board meeting, nothing less. Quana was fuming, she came down and practically dragged Bilan by the ear into the server room.” Essek allowed himself a small smirk at the memory. “The old man can’t open his email; he was at a complete loss. Lucky for him, I was already in there and had found a temporary solution to the problem. I appeased Quana, and the committee continued.”

“Here’s the thing, though,” Beauregard said, half a bok choi in her mouth. She held up her hand and chewed, swallowed, and continued. “Where the fuck was Adeen?”

Essek’s face soured and he shook his head. “I found him later, he was ‘answering email’ in his office. I doubt he was there the whole time, or Quana would have gone to see him before Bilan. Who knows what he was doing.”

“Man, I know I’ve said this before, but I’m so fucking glad he’s not the only IT I have to deal with anymore.”

"Hopefully I'm a little easier to deal with," he says quietly, avoiding her gaze.

"For sure, dude," she responded giving him a long look. Essek glanced up between spoonfuls of soup, trying to ignore her inquisitive eyebrow.

With a sigh he caved in as she chipped some more at his facade." “I cannot stand him. I cannot!” he threw his hands up and grabbed his hair. “The man is delusional. He thinks he’s adequate.” He looked at Beauregard to mark his point. “He thinks that because he’s worked here for ever, it means he deserves respect,” Essek sighed dramatically. “It serves me right: of course, the first and only employee under my direct supervision is a parasite.”

Beauregard nodded. “Technically,” she lifted her finger, “I think you manage Fjord too.”

“Fjord’s a consultant, and he’s only here once every two weeks. I don’t manage him, we work collaboratively.”

"Yeah, that's true," she nodded again. “He was the only competent IT person before you came along. I dunno where we’d be now if he hadn’t been there for all these years to tell Bilan when there’s like… a major security leak or whatever.”

Essek gave Beauregard a small smile. “You did just fine before I came in, too.”

Beauregard held up her hands defensively. “I was just trying to keep Adeen in check. Even a heretic like me, who knows nothing about IT, can tell when there’s a problem, and try to do something about it.” She went back to her bowl and poked angrily at a piece of fried tofu. “I bet that jerk is paid more than me, too.”

Essek looked down in sympathy. He had known, in theory, that humans did not have good working conditions in Xhorhas, especially in the corporate world. Even so, it had been sobering to hear tales from Beauregard ’s experiences, and it had fed his distaste for Bilan.

Essek's thoughts were tangled like Beau's noodles. Following one string led to unpleasant realizations of humans’ unfair working conditions. Following another brought that handsome human man to the forefront of his thoughts. Who knew what Bilan wanted from Widogast? The job description was vague and unappealing. Essek had been confused as to why he was even asked to help with the interviews. Perhaps it was just a power move on Bilan’s part. Essek was still new to his job as well, and Bilan had likely wanted to establish his authority by bombarding a prospective employee with uncomfortable questions in front of him. He wished he had intervened, but he had felt too out-of-place for that at the time.

“Dude, Caleb’s in for a rough one. I wish I could help him more.” Beauregard continued, looking down at her bowl, her thoughts seemingly following his own. She finally managed to get the tofu stuck on her chopstick and raised it precariously to her mouth. Essek ignored her antics in favor of their new subject of conversation.

“I’m sure he appreciates your help. Especially if he is a fast learner, then he might be able to take Abrianna’s place when she retires,” he said, quieting down the last part of his sentence as though fearful the goblin was lurking somewhere nearby.

“Yeah, she’s planning on it soon. Here’s the thing though – her job really isn’t that interesting. Receivables, payroll, they’re repetitive tasks. The most fun part is the learning. I think Caleb would be bored – he already is,” Beauregard snorted.

Essek was quiet and thoughtful for a moment, contemplating his words carefully. “Well, if he’s as good as you say he is, perhaps I can provide some work too. I just don’t know how Bilan would take it if he knew we were taking over his assistant,” Essek mused. Truthfully, he knew what it was to be caught in monotony when one's mind craved stimulation. If Widogast was as clever as Beauregard lauded him to be, perhaps it would keep him interested in remaining at the company. Perhaps, and more of an ulterior motive to Essek, it would also act as an apology for his behaviour in the elevator.

Beauregard shook her head. “My best guess is: he had this grand idea of having an assistant and how it would make him look important, and five weeks in, it’s proving to be more work than he thought. If we don’t give Caleb some work, Bilan might change his mind and close the position,” she frowned.

“Then I might talk to Bilan this afternoon and see if I can get some time with Caleb in the coming weeks.” Essek finished off his bowl.

Beauregard snickered. “Sure.” Essek rolled his eyes and they made their way back to the office for the afternoon.

Chapter Text

Caleb fiddled nervously with his pen as he waited for the other attendees to join him. Bilan had approached him yesterday- the first time Caleb had seen the man in weeks. Much to Caleb's shock and surprise, Bilan requested that he participate in IT meetings from now on. He had not given any detail, and Caleb had assumed he was there to… take notes, perhaps. He had no formal training or expertise in IT, so he was not sure what he would be expected to do. He just hoped that he would not make a fool of himself.

He caught that thought and shook his head with a grim smirk. His work experience had improved vastly since Beauregard had started giving him things to do, but he still felt undervalued and dismissed. Bilan’s neglect and offhand comments did not help at all. It must be starting to affect him if he had just doubted his intellect.

And so here he was, exactly 1 minute and 13 seconds early, sitting quietly in the back of the meeting room when his solitude was interrupted.

It was Fjord, the half-orc that Jester was fond of, followed by a smaller figure: Essek Thelyss. They were holding an animated discussion, and neither appeared to notice Caleb in the far corner.

Thelyss walked swiftly to the first seat he found and sat down. Caleb caught a painful wince on the drow’s face as he stretched out his left leg. With a sharp inhale, Thelyss turned his attention fully to Fjord and continued their conversation.

“Fjord, they have tried to deliver the drive server already thrice, and we haven’t been here to receive it. If I still cannot get Adeen to be present on time, the company will tire of our ambivalence and ask that we pay for delivery again.”

The half-orc gave a resigned smile. “Yeah, but I don’t think the solution is to have you there to receive it. I know there needs to be someone here, but...”

Thelyss shot the other man with a furious glare. “And what are you inferring, pray tell?”

“Well, pardon my… assumption,” Fjord stammered for a moment, surprised at Thelyss’s venom. He then sighed and took a seat next to the drow. “I don’t want to infer that you can’t do your job. But perhaps I can take some of my time to help the delivery guy? I just… well, we all have our strengths,” the half-orc explained quietly.

Caleb watched as Thelyss’s face softened. The drow murmured something about wasting a consultant’s costly time on such things, and Fjord gave the other man a smile and a chuckle.

Feeling like he was starting to intrude on a private conversation, Caleb cleared his throat. Both men jumped and looked in the corner of the too-large meeting room.

Fjord was the first to react. “Oh hi, Caleb. It’s nice to have you join us. We’re so used to being the only ones in here for –” he turned to Thelyss and laughed. “Well, for the first half of the meeting, sometimes, huh? It’ll be nice to have another mind in the room. How’s accounting with Beau going? She giving you any trouble?”

Caleb shook his head. “Beauregard is a pleasure to work with,” he supplied neutrally, but when Fjord snickered, he remembered that Fjord and Beauregard were close and decided he could skip the platitudes. “– well, if you can ignore the punching, and the cursing, and her few other flavorful quirks,” he finished with a smile.

Fjord gave an empathetic nod. “Beau’s… something, but she’s the most loyal friend you’ll ever find,” he added fondly.

“Ja, she is a good egg,” Caleb agreed and rose to move to a closer seat.

“D’you know, I don’t think I’ve ever heard an accent like yours. If it’s not too personal, can I ask where you’re from?” Fjord cocked his head.

“Ah, apologies. I try not to let it seep through, but it evades me on occasion. My accent is Zemnian.” At that, Caleb noticed an eyebrow quirk from Thelyss. He continued hesitantly: “I do my best to keep a neutral, professional language, though, and I apologize for any occasional slip-ups. I am new to this country and its customs.”

The drow’s expression turned into a frown and Caleb’s heart dropped. Before Fjord could respond, though, Thelyss reacted: “I am not bothered by your accent. In fact, I think it’s rather pleasant.”

It took Caleb off-guard and for a second, he was at a loss for words. Before anyone could add anything to the subject, the door clicked open and Bilan entered the room, making his way to the edge of the table. All Caleb could do was steal one last look at the drow, who was now averting his gaze. Perhaps the purple of his cheeks was a little darker as well. How intriguing, Caleb mused, that his dark purple skin shows embarrassment so easily.

Bilan grunted as he sat down, and following him closely, Caleb recognized Adeen Tasithar, the network specialist. The director opened a small book and a fountain pen, and meticulously wrote down the date. Caleb stole a glance at his boss’s notebook and saw that the pages were empty, save for the occasional date and meeting title. I am definitely here to take notes, then, he supposed.

Bilan gave Caleb a quick look and pursed his lips as if in thought. Then he gave Caleb a false smile. “You know, boy, it’s okay if you don’t understand what we’re going to be talking about.” Caleb’s cheeks flushed in frustration, and he took a deep breath and looked pointedly at his notepad. There was a short silence in the room and Caleb willed his frown away.

Thelyss and Fjord were quick to redirect the conversation towards what seemed like pressing topics. Caleb found out that Fjord’s initial expertise was software development, and based on that, he supposed that the half-orc’s involvement in the local network and technical support came less from his expertise and more from his good heart and low tolerance for incompetence. Thelyss was giving an update on the drive server delivery situation when Bilan interrupted him and directed his attention to Fjord.

“Did you see that Marius reported a bug in the software? We should get that fixed, I think,” he absentmindedly supplied. Caleb’s eyes shot towards Thelyss at the interruption. The drow’s jaw was slightly agape, but he closed it quickly with a murderous glare at the director. Fortunately, Bilan did not notice.

Fjord gave the man his attention. “Marius had requested a new feature; it wasn’t a bug. So any current testing takes precedence on that. If we work on his new request before we finish her other ones, we’ll never get anything done.”

Bilan shook his head. “I think it was a bug. If it’s a bug, make sure you take care of it soon.”

Caleb watched as Fjord hid a grimace, but ultimately decided to pick his battles. It was not as if Bilan had any idea of what they were doing anyway.

But the director was not finished. “And what about the new list thing he wants to add? Is that done now?” Fjord opened his mouth but Bilan continued: “I hope you’ve made it terribly simple. Marius isn’t the best with computers.” The old drow snickered, oblivious to his employees’ disbelieving stares that seemed to scream You are certainly one to speak.

Fjord pursed his lips, showing the slightest bit of white from his tusks, and spoke firmly: “The feature is well on its way – but I believe we have a more pressing matter, if you’ll excuse my saying so. The drive server on the eighth floor really needs to be replaced and we still haven’t gotten the delivery.”

Bilan waved his hand. “Well,” he chuckled, “make sure it’s extremely easy to use. And if you’re not sure how easy to make it, just make it so easy that even he can use it,” Bilan sniffed, pointing at Caleb. Suppressing a flinch, Caleb watched Bilan turn towards Thelyss, give him a rough clap on the back and utter a laugh so crude it made Caleb's skin crawl. 

This time, Caleb caught Fjord’s reaction. The man looked deeply uncomfortable and almost said something but let go of it in favor of mouthing I’m sorry at Caleb.

Caleb nodded at the small comfort and his eyes shifted to Thelyss. To his surprise, the drow was glowering at their boss, boring holes into the side of his head. Caleb did not think he had ever seen him so angry: he was positively seething.

Fjord seemed to have noticed as well. He redirected the conversation towards their pressing subject, and it took the heat off Caleb, for which he was thankful. In a corner, Adeen Tasithar was slouching and fiddling with one of his lower shirt buttons.

Caleb did his best to follow as they were discussing server configuration. There seemed to have been an error on Adeen’s side, but he would not admit to having botched his work, instead evoking some abstract problem that even Caleb could tell was absurd. It gained traction with Bilan, though, and Caleb could see Thelyss growing more and more frustrated, as he was tasked with investigating a problem that clearly did not exist.

Caleb could start to see the dynamic at play, and he felt sorry for Essek. It seemed they shared a certain discomfort around Bilan, and both disliked his manners. Beauregard’s words about Thelyss came to his mind: He respects people who work hard. Perhaps the two of them could indeed get along quite well.

The conversations continued and Caleb took more notes, occasionally going back to correct something on his paper as he learned more about the subject that was being discussed.

Bilan spoke of a complaint they had gotten. Someone from another department had made a request and it had never been answered. From what Caleb could understand, this was not the first time. Adeen seemed to have a habit of ignoring emails, and when confronted, would redirect the blame on Fjord, or Essek. It seemed too easy, and Bilan seemed too eager to accept the employee’s ridiculous excuses.

“They should know that requests for software features go to Fjord, not to me,” explained Adeen defensively. Caleb met Fjord’s eyes and the half-orc shared a subtle eyeroll. Caleb turned towards Thelyss and could see the exasperation turning to frustration in his eyes.

“Let me clarify something: if the employees don’t know where their requests need to be directed, it’s on our team to communicate that properly,” Thelyss cut. “Furthermore, it was not a feature request: Gallan was having some sort of issue. It is your job to filter such requests for assistance before transmitting them to Fjord if – and only if – there is need for a patch request. If you cannot do that part of your job, then perhaps we should look to give it to somebody else.” Essek stopped for emphasis, then looked to Bilan, but the old drow was fiddling with his pen cap. A sliver of frustration showed on Essek’s face before he quickly mastered his expression.

Caleb's frustration at the situation reached its limit and his mouth opened before he knew it. “Ach, Herr Thelyss. Have you considered streamlining tech support by implementing some sort of helpdesk? It might clarify expectations on both parts, and it would allow Mr. Tasithar -” Caleb turned and gestured politely to the other employee. The action earned him such a look of disdain that Caleb lost his point for a moment. “– ah, it would allow better tracking of request for all parties, to avoid misunderstandings,” Caleb finished and looked at his hands. Then, his idea stronger than his apprehension, he looked back to Thelyss and saw that the drow was in fact listening to him intently. He continued: “I have seen good results from the implementation of a service desk in another company. Perhaps this might be a good way to-”

Caleb was so focused on Thelyss’s face that he had not noticed Bilan leaning forward. “Young man, I believe we’ve got this handled,” the drow waved a hand in dismissal.

Caleb stopped talking, his frustration growing. Thelyss looked as if he were about to retort, but Bilan stretched and called the rest of the meeting off. Irritated, Caleb breathed deeply and began packing away his notes. A quiet voice draws his attention, however.

“Mr. Widogast, could I see you this afternoon?” Thelyss inquired as Fjord and Adeen were exiting the room. “I would like to discuss a few things with you.”

“Of course, Herr Thelyss,” Caleb obliged, dread pooling in his stomach. Had he spoken too much? Was his suggestion already discarded – perhaps there was an obvious flaw in his logic? Maybe this was going to be a warning for stepping out of turn- 

Thelyss’s expression seemed to soften at Caleb's sudden nervousness. Not very reassured, Caleb nodded sharply and made his way out, only to hear Bilan rake his chair and mutter “Thelyss… I’ll let you deal with what just happened. See if you still want that one to participate again. I’ve never thought it to be a good idea.”

He heard another chair rake against the carpet, followed by a silence and the sound of the door clicking shut. Then, Caleb could make nothing more out of the muffled voices.

Chapter Text

Dejected, Caleb made his way away from the meeting room. His hands trembled on the handle as he opened the door leading to the emergency stairs. Once the heavy door was closed behind him, he leaned against the wall and pressed his palms to his eyes.

“Nobody gets to define your worth.” Caleb repeated the words that his therapist had helped him come up with, over and over again, hoping to shift his inner monologue away from self-doubt and the voices of his past. But the voice of his old director Ikithon was louder.

Oh Bren, it said. Do you not see what needs to be done? Are you going to show weakness and fear for much longer, or honor my teachings and serve a cause greater than yourself? You were doing so well with us. You know that this is not where you belong. You should be surrounded with like-minded others, your kin. The voice became icy cold in Caleb’s mind, beckoning with paternal disappointment. A Zemnian word, once filled with love and pride, now dripping with contempt. Junge, child, come back to me now. Your games are over and it is time for work to begin once more.

Caleb sunk down to a crouch and rubbed his palms on his eyes in hopes of staving off tears, knowing it would leave his eyes reddened and betray his emotion later. He tried to rationalize away his old mentor. This workplace was so different from Cerberus, and that meant it was good. And indeed, it was: it had great people, and he had good benefits, though the pay could be better. He could keep learning by Beau’s side. They could stick together, the two of them. He did not owe it to Ikithon to return to the Empire.  He did not have to work with Ikithon ever again.

But Bilan, through his snide comments and dismissive attitude, pricked at Caleb in all of his insecurities and reminded him far too much of Ikithon. Of course, Ikithon’s venom was much more insidious, but this situation was… painful in its own way, too reminiscent of days gone by where Caleb’s self-worth was non-existent, and where his mind was that of an obedient and eager-to-please puppet.  

Caleb felt vulnerable here, more so than in the Empire: different country, different customs. For the most part, he managed to slink his way through the day, molding his behaviour and hiding the unsightly asperities of his character. But on the days where he made a mistake according to their trivialities and manners- he did not feel welcome.

Nevertheless, he did not regret coming here. He had made the choice to leave the Empire and get far, far away from Cerberus Education, leaving his parents and his career, hoping to leave behind a past he could only regret.

Caleb heaved a sigh and attempted to get back up on his feet. Letting out an undignified grunt, he patted away the dust from his pants and checked his appearance through his phone camera. He looked dejected, but perhaps if he hung his head down, nobody would notice. His mouth set into a grim line as he whispered a few words of encouragement to his reflection. “The old guard here is schreckliche and prejudiced, but things are changing. The younger Rosohna Staatsbürger do not seem as old-school.” Caleb pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Bilan will eventually leave, retire or die gefroren in a ditch – and then, später, you will have a chance at this. And du hast Freunde, Hier. Beauregard and Jester, and Nott. All of these people there to support, unterstützen you.” He looked back to the door. “Perhaps a few allies, too…” he mused, remembering Fjord and Essek’s horrified and apologetic looks.

I do not want to be here still, when Essek and Bilan finish talking, in case they decide to come down the stairs, he thought. Shaking the last of his anxiety and frustration down into his chest, he made his way down towards his office.

On his way, he found himself slowing down near Beauregard ’s office. Lifting his eyes from the floor before he could help it, he prepared to face Abrianna Mirimm’s piercing stare, but he found that she was not at her desk. Caleb hesitated for a moment before stepping cautiously into the office, just far enough where he could see if Beauregard were there.

To his great relief, she was there and, blessedly, alone. Caleb did not know why he had come in. Perhaps he was less rational than he thought himself to be. In any case, he felt drawn to his friend, with the utmost… trust. That is new, supplied a part of his brain, just as his instinct made him let his presence known.

“Beauregard?” he croaked.

Beau’s head rose immediately, her lips maintaining a concentrated scowl and her hand still holding a handful of hair. Her mouth opened slowly into a small ‘o’ and she set her pen on the table, rising promptly. She passed Caleb with no more than a look and headed straight for the door, which she closed after a brief peek out. Caleb heard a heavy lock turn and Beauregard gave him a worried glance.

“It’s the accounting office, it’s always locked when no one’s in. No one will know that you’re in here,” she supplied immediately.

“What about Mirimm?” he managed.

“She’s absent today.” Beauregard pushed him towards a chair and dragged a stool for herself. She sat and took a long, hard, silent look at him. “What did that piece of shit do?”

“I –” Caleb began, “it’s not just him, it’s me, I’m –”

Beauregard cut him with a snarl. “Don’t you dare tell me it’s you.” She waved a finger at him. “I’ve been through this; I know what it’s like. It’s not you.” She met his eyes and added once again: “It’s not you.”

Caleb nodded, and took a deep breath through his nose. He knew he was a mess.

“The insults, Beauregard. The constant dismissiveness. He ignores me, he puts me down. He brought me into a meeting, told everybody that I would not understand anything, then proceeded to use me as an example for the stupidest person he could imagine. He shut me up when I spoke. I cannot –” Caleb drew another shaky breath and shook his head. “I feel confined, boxed in – and yet at the same time I am an outsider. I keep embarrassing myself. I am telling myself and Veth and you that I am doing well here, but –” he stopped his enumeration, and in an attempt to calm down, realized this was as much about Ikithon as it was about his current workplace, and decided against delving into that with Beauregard today. He gathered his thoughts as best he could and continued: “I do not know how much longer I can stay here. It is weighing on me.”

“He’s getting under your skin,” Beauregard agreed.

“Ja.”

Beauregard looked down at her hands, flexed her fingers a few times, and sighed. She seemed pensive for a moment. Caleb was thankful for the pause and attempted to gather himself. When he looked up, he noticed Beauregard ’s eyes were watery.

She gave him a chagrined but knowing smile and huff, and Caleb could not withstand the sight. He went to rub his eyes once more, but emotion had him fist his hands angrily into his hair. He pulled at it, dug his elbows into his knees and let out a body-wracking sob. It was stifled and broken, and after barely a moment, his energy fizzled out until all that remained was a heavy sigh of tired frustration.

Beauregard let him, attempting at first an awkward pat-pat on his forearm before sticking to what she knew. Patiently, she offered him silent support.

His breathing calmed down, and his eyes were aching from where his palms had been pressing in. After keeping his head down in shame for exactly 48 seconds, Caleb took a deep breath that rattled his bones and ran his long fingers across his eyes, wiping them despite them being already dry and irritated. Looking up, he found that Beau was holding out a box of tissues and her eyes were piercing through him. He gratefully took a tissue from her, noting with a sheepish glance that her expression was not annoyed or judgemental. She leaned back into her chair as he blew his nose and gathered himself.

“Caleb,” she said after a moment of silence. “I don’t know what I should tell you, man. I know some people, like Jester, would tell you to leave this shitty job immediately and to find something better. That you deserve better.”

Caleb barked a watery laugh and glared into Beauregard ’s eyes.

“But,” she continued, “I know better than to throw you back into the job market without a good, hard think.” She shook her head and her lips set into a thin line. “If you want, I can just tell you about my own experience. Maybe that’ll help.”

Caleb nodded silently.

“I came here five years ago. Ran away from my dad.” Beauregard glanced up and down at Caleb and added “I think you know what that’s like – you’ve been running too, though I don’t know from what.” She was pensive for a second.

His lips twitched into a grim smile. She is perceptive.

Beauregard shook herself from her thoughts, set both of her feet onto the stool she had been sitting on and raised herself into a crouching position. She let her forearms rest on her knees, hands hanging down, and continued her story. “I didn’t have any job experience – or none I could put on my CV, I guess. They hired me here as a secretary. I was doing boring stuff, like taking calls with–” her voice changed drastically, forming a nasal, breathy whine, “–A pleasant customer service voice…” Beauregard smirked at Caleb’s widening eyes and mimicked flipping him off. “I call her Tracy, she’s my evil alter ego,” she teased. “Anyway. It was horrible. I wasn’t working under Bilan, I was under Lythir VaSuun. He’s stuffy and was always looking for an occasion to undermine me. It makes you wonder why they hired us in the first place…” Beau’s eyes trailed to the door.

She continued. “I found some online training and started studying accounting. They have this handy policy at Kryn & Kryn where they prioritize candidates from the inside, so as long as you stay in the company, you get an advantage on any other position you’re applying to. That’s how I applied here and was transferred under Bilan.” She punctuated her news with a half-hearted shrug.

“He’s an awful person, absolutely. But Caleb, if you can manage to get as far away from him as possible, which I think is possible even though you technically work under him–” she avoided his eyes, shrugged and her voice rose to a higher pitch, almost unsure to verbalize her train of thought: “–then maybe, y’know, this place can still be good for you.” She let her words sink in and bent her body forward, teetering dangerously close to the edge of her stool, but her balance remained flawless.

“Y’know, the Kryn ladies aren’t so bad,” she continued, keeping her eyes on the ground. “They’ve taken over the firm from Leylas Kryn’s parents, and I guess they inherited a few old fossils with it, but things are slowly changing. The big boss is more reserved, but her wife Quana is sweet and takes no bullshit.” She cocked her head, pensive. “In a way, I think I felt far more alone here than I really was.” She looked back at Caleb. “At one point, Quana intervened in my favor and shut Bilan up in front of several others. I think they’re getting tired of his bullshit.”

She glanced at the door and back at Caleb. “I think he’ll retire soon. He’s always late, he has no interest in working anymore. Either this or they’ll let him go,” she confided, voice lowered. “He’s got some kind of political immunity because if they fire him just like that, it could be perceived as a rupture from continuity, and you know how drow are with their generational bullshit.”

Caleb grimaced. “So, he might still be here for awhile, ja?”

Beauregard winced and held his gaze for a beat, then looked to the ceiling. Fixing her eyes on a humidity stain, she explained: “I can’t decide for you if you stay or if you go. Myself, I decided I’d stick around, but you might have other options that I don’t know about.” She looked back at him. “I think at that time I had a super-huge-mega-crush on Jester, and that weighed in pretty heavily on my decision. But this company’s come far in the last five years and I can only hope that it would keep getting better.”

She heaved a sigh and sat down properly once more. “In any case, I wouldn’t be suggesting that you stay if it meant you’d be with Bilan every day. I can’t change who you answer to, so you’ll still have to interact with him a little bit.” She bent closer to Caleb and dropped a hand on his shoulder. “But I have work for you. Pumat has work for you. Essek has work for you. Fjord and Jester will have your back. And this suits Bilan, you know – that way, he doesn’t have to bother with steering you around. And you know, Abrianna? She’s gonna retire someday. Maybe you can come work with me!” She gave him a half-hearted smile, and Caleb could not help responding with one of his own.

“We round-eared Empire bastards, we stick together, ja?”

“Yeah, we do. And you’ve got friends here, Caleb, I’m serious,” she reminded him, brows furrowed. “You’re not alone.”

“Danke, Beauregard. I am lucky to have you.”

“Yeah, same, dude.” She rose and stretched. “Ugh, you made me hungry with all of that emotion. Wanna go out for some food?” Without waiting for an answer, she trailed off to the door and grabbed her keys. “There’s this amazing vegan place, and I’m not normally a fan of stuff that doesn’t have bacon in it, but this dude makes the best ramen–” she cocked her head at him before unlocking the door. “You coming?”

Chapter Text

Caleb felt slightly better when he walked back into the office. After getting simultaneously fed and psychoanalyzed by Caduceus, the tall, gangly firbolg who ran Melora’s Grove, he was left with merely a reasonable amount of dread for the afternoon when he sat down at his desk.

In the meantime, he had received an email that read Hello Caleb, please come to my office whenever you have the time. Thank you. It was signed Essek Thelyss.

Caleb stopped by the bathroom to make sure his eyes were not puffy. This was not his best day to be meeting with the distractingly attractive man, but it would have to do. He tied his hair neatly down his neck and straightened himself out nervously. Peacock, he thought to himself. This is a work meeting where you have the short end of the stick – it is not a romantic dinner.

He made his way to Essek’s office, half-pleased to get the chance to admire Thelyss some more, but also half-dreading the meeting and what would transpire.

Just shy of reaching the door, Caleb risked a quick glance in and saw Essek already seated at the desk, head bent reading something. Steeling his nerves and mustering his professional charm, Caleb walked forward and knocked on the glass door.

He watched as Essek lifted his head and acknowledged him with a nod, motioning him in with one elegant gesture.

"Ah, Mr Widogast," he greeted. "Thank you for coming. Please, have a seat." Essek indicated to a chair, not in front of his desk as if he were interviewing Caleb, but right next to him, just a few feet apart. Curiously, Caleb rounded the desk and sat down, realising from here that he was able to view Thelyss’s computer monitor.

Throughout this entire sequence Caleb had remained silent, and Essek's gaze had remained fixated on Caleb. After a moment of silence, Thelyss’s façade cracked into a small grimace, seeming out of place on his otherwise carefully maintained expression.

Unsure of its signification and slightly anxious, Caleb steered the conversation forward: “You wanted to discuss something with me, Herr Thelyss?”

The drow, seemingly relieved to hear the silence end, leaned back in his chair and held up his hand. “Please, you may call me Essek.”

Caleb mustered his most charming smile. “Well, then you must call me Caleb.”

“Caleb.” The name rolled across Essek’s tongue and, surprisingly, Caleb found he liked it. “I want to… I suppose –” he shifted, slightly unsure. “I must apologize for the behaviour of Mr. Bilan today. His attitude was unacceptable.”

Caleb’s charming expression faltered, and it was replaced by a more genuine, sad smile. “If I understand correctly, you do not have a say in how he behaves, since you also answer to him. Therefore, you do not have to apologize for him.”

“Well, I appreciate your logic. However, I do not want you to think his chauvinism went unnoticed. I…” the drow’s lips set into a thin line. “I attempted to have a conversation with him afterwards. It went about as well as you can imagine. Do not worry, I did not confront him directly,” Essek added when Caleb’s eyes widened. “I merely… attempted to convince him to let you speak in future meetings. He did agree that you could provide a different point of view.”

Caleb nodded and kept his eyes trained into the drow’s. “Thank you, Essek.”

Essek shifted under his gaze and sighed. “I hope things go better in the future. I did not confront him during the meeting, though it went against my instincts, because I am painfully aware of how defensive he can get when confronted. I thought it better to attempt to make progress behind the scenes. But I wanted you to know that you have my… full support, as it is.”

“Thank you, Herr– Essek. I understand and I am grateful for it.”

Essek smiled at Caleb’s correction. His expression then shifted to something more calculated, more business-like.

“That is not the only reason why I called you to my office. Indeed, you raised an interesting point during our meeting. I am curious: where did you come to learn of such tools? You did not have prior work experience, from what I recall on your C.V.”

“Ah, please forgive my omission. I have worked before, when I lived in the Empire, but I chose not to put it on my C.V. My previous workplace did implement an online service desk, though, and it was very well received by the employees,” Caleb explained under Essek’s inquisitive gaze.

“Interesting. Well, I have been considering a similar application, but its setup will be nothing compared to the work needed to train and promote it to the employees. For reasons I am sure you can gather, I cannot count on Mr. Tasithar’s help with that.” Essek narrowed his eyes at Caleb. “But you’ve experience with similar approaches. I think you could help me.”

“I-I would be glad to,” Caleb stuttered, taken aback. “My experience is not first-hand, though, and I have no formal training in this sphere,” he warned.

Essek shook his head. “It does not matter. I need someone to help me build documentation, perhaps to structure a formal employee training. I think you are intelligent, and you will be of great help to me.”

Caleb bowed his head slightly to the compliment. “Did you have a specific idea in mind? A full ITSM?”

Essek’s eyes were bright and interested. “Well, we want something that can be scaled, but right now our needs are basic. We need request tracking for both users and IT, basic analytics, and… it would be helpful to have inventory monitoring as well. I have a few ideas.” Caleb watched as Essek steepled his fingers in thought for a moment, before returning his attention to Caleb.

He moved his chair to let Caleb take a closer look at his monitor, opened a few tabs on his browser and began explaining ideas to Caleb, who did his best to provide valuable insight.

Caleb found it easy to settle into a working pace with Essek. Any concerns he might have had about being belittled disappeared in favor of an excitement he had not felt since his beginnings at Cerberus Education. He loved to solve puzzles.

15 minutes and 49 seconds into their conversation, a bling! distracted Caleb from his explanation and Essek glanced rapidly at the top corner of his monitor. Following his gaze, Caleb saw a small notification box. It bore the picture of a very angry and confused owl, and next to it was written I swear to fucking shit, I’m gonna tear that fucking … Read More.

Essek gave a nervous chuckle and dragged the notification away as fast as it had appeared. He turned back to Caleb. “Apologies. You were saying…”

Caleb ignored his confusion and returned to his explanation, but the notifications kept coming in. After four more came in, he risked another glance to the top corner of the monitor as Essek pinched the top of his nose and apologized. The most recent notification, from the same correspondent, read Dude, I gotta get back to my shit now but is Caleb with … Read More.

Essek grabbed his mouse and closed off a browser tab. “I am sorry, Beauregard is… intense, on occasion,” he explained.

Caleb chuckled. “I am not surprised, though perhaps the writing down of her usual expletives could compromise her…”

“No way to stop her, I’m afraid,” Essek responded. “but this isn’t company software.” He turned to Caleb and added “We have a private group chat. I keep a browser tab open when I am alone in my office. I am sorry I did not close it down before you came.”

“Ah, it is no bother. These assaults are part of her personality, and she is worth weathering them,” Caleb responded fondly.

Essek’s eyes betrayed a smile, and he turned back to his screen. “I will forward these to you. We will have to request approval for the project, and secure funds… but I have expressed the need for something like this before, and I think it will be well received.” Essek looked at him. “I think I could use your help with the composition of the project presentation. There is a template somewhere in my things, and I would answer any questions you have. Do you think you could help me complete this by next Wednesday?”

“Ja, of course. Earlier, even,” Caleb responded confidently.

“Excellent. I am glad we’ve had this conversation,” Essek admitted professionally.

“Ja, I am too. You are an interesting fellow, Essek.”

The drow’s eyes, locked into his, could not conceal his delight. His long ears gave a near-imperceptible twitch. There was no mistaking that he was pleased.

“I could say the same about you, Caleb.” After a short moment, Essek went back to his computer. “Well, I’m afraid I now need to reassure our friend Beauregard. Besides, I don’t want to keep you longer than this.”

“Of course. Please let me know if there is anything else I can help with,” Caleb responded with his most charming grin before making his way out.

And if Essek sat back into his chair and heaved a long sigh after Caleb was gone… well, nobody was there to witness him dissimulate a smile nor to hear him mutter “Thelyss, you have a problem” under his breath.

Chapter Text

When he reached his desk again, Caleb had already received another email from Essek. This time, it read: Hello Caleb. Here are the links as promised. Additionally, feel free to join the group chat if you are interested and was followed by a link invitation. Caleb made quick work of signing up and found more people were in said chat than he might have expected: Beauregard and Essek, but also Jester, Fjord and Caduceus.

Scrolling through the chat history, Caleb saw photos of Jester’s weasel in various accoutrements, Fjord commenting every time with a heart and an encouragement, Beauregard sending the chat memes and invitations to grab breakfast or lunch. Caleb spotted the moment Caduceus had been added to the chat and the ensuing confused first messages, after which he had apparently decided to stick to in-person interactions. Here and there, Caleb could see Essek had given an occasional reaction or comment. How nice, Caleb thought, that this corporate, professional-looking drow had been dragged into this lively menagerie of people.

It made him smile as he went to close the browser tab – but he stopped at the last minute, scrolling down to the left of the screen. There, a section read Private Messages. He clicked on Essek’s icon and wrote Hallo Essek. Thank you for inviting me here.

Less than 8 seconds later, a response popped on his screen: It is my pleasure, Caleb.

Caleb smiled. The drow’s response time indicated an eagerness he found that he shared. He responded You have got quite a lively group over here, eh?

Essek replied almost instantly: I started the server with Fjord to privately discuss… issues within the department. Beauregard joined, and convinced me to include all of these other people in the general channels. It is a whole thing now, I suppose.

A second passed, after which Essek was writing again. The next message read: I do not regret it. They are fun.

Caleb chuckled and put his earbuds in. He needed to get back to work but decided to send one last message: That, they are.

Bling!

CALEB IS HERE! Essek!!! You added Caleb to our party! I’m … Read More.

Caleb winced at the sound in his earbuds. The notification had startled him. He went into the chat to adjust his settings and could see that Jester was indeed very excited to have him join their group chat.

Fjord: That’s mighty nice indeed, Caleb. Glad you could join us.

Jester: OoooooOOoo we should CELEBRATE!!!

Beau: I’m going to @Caduceus’ restaurant at 1 tomorrow
Beau: @Caduceus
Beau: @Caduceus

Fjord: It’s ok beau, I think it’s a lost cause

Beau: Anyway
Beau: Anyone want to join me?
Beau: Essek you invited him here so you absolutely have to come

Jester: Yeah Essek it’s the law

Fjord: I’ll join yall maybe 15 mins late, tomorrow’s client is a little further away

Jester: bummer

Caleb smiled and typed Thank you all. I will be at Melora’s Grove at 1 tomorrow before he settled himself to work.

Over the next few weeks, the lively crew he was now part of took up more and more space in his daily life. Caleb also got the chance to interact more and more with Essek. He felt both valued and welcomed. Upon discussing it with Veth at first, her reaction had been suspicious and protective. He could tell that she worried he would get wrapped into something similar to what had happened at Cerberus Education.

But Caleb knew this was different, and he forgave Veth for her protectiveness. She was not there when he worked at Cerberus. Looking back, though, he could now better understand that his experience there had been incomplete. Astrid, Eadwulf and him had banded together for ambition and success, and his old mentor had been keen to prey on that. Instead, these new friends were just… hanging out together because they enjoyed each other’s company – though, he realized after a little while, he felt a special kinship with Essek. As strange as it might have sounded to him a few years ago, Caleb was discovering that having friends came to him more naturally than he might have thought. It felt like coming home.

Over time, the more Caleb would speak of his colleagues, Veth’s questioning would switch from practical, strategic inquiries towards more genuine curiosity.

“So just to be clear,” she giggled as they were finishing having supper one evening, “she fed him what again?”

“Well, she feeds him nuts and bugs now,” Caleb responded. “But back then, she said she used to feed him –” Caleb put on his best imitation of Jester’s lilt for the next few words: “– leetol peeses of cup-cakes and pay-stries, Cay-leb!!”

Veth almost snorted her drink and coughed as she set it back down on the table. “Oh, gods, that poor thing. It’s a good thing somebody finally said something,” she responded, her voice raspy.

Caleb smirked. “Well, I suppose everybody assumed it would suffer a rapid death… but when the weasel showed such remarkable constitution, Fjord just had to say something for its welfare. It did not make Jester very happy, I heard. But since then, he’s been commenting encouraging things on each photo.” He made air quotes and took on Fjord’s usual drawl: “Sprinkle looks great today, Jester!”

Veth’s eyes narrowed. “Yeah. He would say something like that, huh... You can never trust consultants, Lebby. Keep your eyes peeled around that one.” Her voice did not hold much venom, though, and her toothy grin only got wider.

“Ach, Veth,” Caleb smiled. “You are too rough on that one. Fjord took pity on our department a long time ago, and now he’s personally and emotionally invested, the poor man.”

Veth’s lip quirked up. “He sounds like a boring, helpless twig. You could snap him in half.”

“Ja, most definitely. Look at these arms, Schatz.” Caleb lifted his sleeve and tried to flex his bicep, but Veth waved her fork at him and screeched “To war!”

They both laughed together. Veth then rose to put her plate in the sink and motioned for his. He came to her left and grabbed a dishcloth while she got the water warm and soaped up a sponge.

“You know, Lebby, I think it’s great that you have fun at work,” she smiled, starting to scrub down a pan. “But I wonder if maybe… it’s only temporary.”

Caleb cocked his head softly, his breathing still shallow from sharing a good laugh with his friend. “What do you mean, Veth?”

Veth shook her head. “I don’t mean the friendships. I’m just thinking about the work. Anything goes sideways and you’re back with Bilan again, you know? And do you think you’ll want to do this your whole life? Working under Essek, for projects that aren’t your own?”

Caleb pursed his lips. “Well, no, of course I do not want to do this my whole life. I am hoping that there will be an opening in a different position, or that perhaps I will get promoted.”

Veth nodded, pensive. “It’s just that maybe you should keep an eye out for better positions on the outside too. Job hunting sucks, but it’s so much easier to do when you’re not broke.”

Caleb was silent for a moment, before Veth met his eyes, arm deep into a soapy pot. She continued: “I’m not saying you have to leave. Just… to keep your options open. I know you, Lebby. You need to be… stimulated. There’s a bunch of new things going on now, and it’s exciting, but what if it dries out and you’re back to where you started? You hated the busywork you were doing a few weeks ago.”

Caleb frowned defensively. “Pumat was very nice.”

Veth cocked her head emphatically. “Yeah, and you hated working for him.”

Caleb set the dishcloth back on his shoulder and crouched down to set the pan into a cabinet. He did not answer right away. When he rose back up, Veth was still cocking her head at him, unimpressed with his deflection. He put one hand up and sighed. “Fine, I will think about it, ja?”

Veth was silent. He attempted to let go of his defensiveness. “I think I have just been enjoying the respite, mein Freunde. I might savor it for a little while longer still. But I will think about what you have said.” Caleb took the rinsed pot from Veth’s outstretched arm and took her soapy hand. “I know you are just looking out for me,” he acknowledged, and his eyes softened.

“Well, maybe I’m wrong,” Veth admitted. “Maybe something will open up soon and you’ll get to do some cool work with Beau, or more cool work with Essek. Maybe Bilan will get fired. Maybe they’ll hire me instead.”

Caleb’s mouth twitched into a smirk. “Ja, and then… what is the plan?”

“We snap Fjord in half!” she exclaimed, waving her sponge and sending soap over Caleb’s sweater.

“I must follow my superior’s orders, then. ‘To war’, ja?” Caleb chuckled.

Chapter Text

As Caleb walked back into the office early one afternoon, he closed his eyes for a split second and savored the feeling of the air conditioning. Since he had been hired at Kryn & Kryn, winter had shifted into spring, and the outside world now threatened him with a sweltering summer heat. Fjord and Essek followed behind Caleb: he had been having lunch with those two more often than not lately.

The three of them were, in a sense, what was left of the IT department. They had been working hard on the launch of the new service desk lately, and with Fjord working elsewhere most of the time and Adeen on vacation, Caleb was the only person Essek could truly count on. It was a real pleasure working with Essek, and Caleb had grown attached to his colleague: his soft voice, his excitement when he felt that they were on the same wavelength, his mannerisms, the way his sharp canines peeked out through his lips when he could not rein in his smile.

He was beautiful, too. Though that was not a thought he should dwell on.  

They made their way towards the elevator and split ways with Fjord, who, under Beauregard’s influence, had started taking the stairs every day. Caleb pressed a button to call the elevator down to them, then turned and saw Essek’s long ears droop in annoyance. The handsome drow shivered and put his dark purple jacket back on, shooting the air conditioning unit a nasty look directly borrowed from Beauregard’s repertoire. Caleb smirked and cocked his head towards the drow.

“Cold already?”

Essek squinted at him and tightened his jacket around his small frame. “You run warm. I do not. I cannot stand the air conditioning in this building: they always set it far too cold.”

Caleb hummed in disagreement and tied his hair back into a loose ponytail before entering the elevator.

Once on their floor, Essek and Caleb parted with a nod and a smile, ready to take on the afternoon. Caleb was in the process of filling up a glass of water at the sink when a familiar voice came from behind him.

“Psst, Caleb!”

“Beauregard –” Caleb began to respond only to have his shoulder roughly shoved, spilling some water in the process.

“No time. Follow me.” She began making her way towards the stockroom - a familiar space to Caleb, mostly because it was quickly becoming Beauregard’s favourite spot to corner him in. Caleb set the glass down, resigned, and followed suit.

She shut the door behind them and bounced on her feet a bit, a strange mix of excitement and apprehension about her.

“What is going on, Beauregard?”

“Okay. So.” Beau paused and turned back to check the door once more. Filled with nervous energy, she spun around back to him. “I learned something huge today. It’s super-top-fucking-secret, so you’ve got to promise me you won’t tell anyone. Anyone. Understood?”

“You sound like Jester now,” Caleb answered, a smile creeping on his face. He was pretty sure that Beau was looking to announce something positive. “I’m not the gossip here and you know it, schwesterchen.”

“It’s about Mirimm. She told me she’s actually given Bilan her retirement date, like, a month ago. He hasn’t done anything to replace her yet, and she’s gonna be gone barely a month from now. It’s still unofficial, the info hasn’t been announced yet. Since he wasn’t doing anything, she thought I should know.” She hesitated for a split-second, then continued. “I could start training you for the job now if you wanted. We’re gonna need an interim. You’d do great.”

Caleb’s eyes widened. “And what would this entail?”

“You’d handle everyone’s pay, payables and receivables, do the deposits – I’d register you at the bank and you’ll be able to sign for the company in a few circumstances. You would also be doing everything you’re already doing at the current moment. IT projects would continue with whatever time you have left.”

Caleb pursed his lips in disappointment. He was enjoying working with Essek. “What if Essek needs my help?”

Beauregard rolled her eyes. “He did okay before you were here. I’m sure he’ll manage if you do a few less hours for him every week. Mirimm’s job isn’t enough to fill all of your time, you’ll probably still be able to work on IT.”

Caleb hesitated for a second. He did not want to set aside this dynamic he had with Essek, even for something new and potentially better for his career. But Veth’s words rang in his head: Do you think you’ll want to do this your whole life, working under Essek for projects that aren’t your own? He let out a soft sigh, subtle enough to not let Beauregard believe he was refusing her offer. It was likely the logical progression of things. “I am interested, Beauregard. Should I wait for an official offer?”

“I mean, formally, yeah, but informally, you could start being trained as early as… like, right now.”

Caleb nodded. “Ja, Beauregard. I think it will be good.” He tried to ignore the twinge of regret that came in his heart.

The grin she gave him lightened his mood slightly. He did enjoy working with Beauregard, at least. She clapped him on the back and practically dragged him all the way towards the accounting office.

There, Abrianna Mirimm was sitting in her tall chair, pinching her glasses with her thumb and forefinger, as if holding them to her face in case they fell down. She was squinting at something on her screen, but when Caleb entered, her eyes darted towards him. He gave her a timid nod.

“Welcome, Widogast,” she croaked. Her voice was sharp and clipped, but there seemed to be something lighter dancing in her eyes. “Here to learn some more?”

“As much as I possibly can, yes,” he managed with a smile.

“Good.” Mirimm then turned to Beauregard. “Once you’re done showing him the basics, I can teach him as well.”

Beauregard’s eyes widened and she sputtered. “I mean…” she turned towards Caleb, then gave a quick nod and looked back to Mirimm. “Yeah. Yeah, sure. We’ll split his time so he can learn from you too.”

Mirimm’s thin lips tightened into what could have been a smile, and she returned to her work without another word. Beau motioned for Caleb to sit next to her as they had done before and picked up a pen and a piece of paper. On it, she scribbled: Didn’t think she’d go as far as to offer help. She must like you.

Caleb had a few seconds to wonder at that before Beauregard dove into an explanation of the various systems they used and of the different responsibilities he might be taking on. Once in a while, he felt Mirimm’s sharp eyes boring into him, but whenever he spared a glance in her direction, she was merely squinting at her monitor.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. By the end of it, while they were packing their things away, Beauregard suggested that he come in early the next few mornings, when no one other than herself was present at the office. “Bilan won’t mind; besides, believe me, it’s much easier to get the job done when you’re not being interrupted.”

Caleb agreed to it – it was sound logic. Despite that, he could not help but steal a forlorn glance towards Essek’s office as he walked down the hall and outside the building, hoping that this new arrangement would not lead him to lose precious time with his colleague.

In the following few weeks, Caleb spent a lot more time with Beauregard. They would both arrive very early in the morning (sometimes as early as six), and work on his training. When Mirimm would arrive, he would sit with her and learn from her experience – it was strange at first, but he soon understood why Beauregard seemed affectionate towards the elderly goblin. She was a no-nonsense woman with thick skin and a sharp wit. A few times, she had commented on some of the company’s practices, or on Bilan, VaSuun and even Leylas Kryn; her criticism was fair, valid and thinly veiled. Caleb admired her frank attitude and wondered if he would one day manage the same level of unflappability. Based on how affected he used to be by Bilan’s dismissiveness, he had come a long way since his arrival at Kryn & Kryn – though that might have been because of the support and validation he was getting from his friends.

This new arrangement, interesting and challenging as it may have been, made it more difficult for Caleb to see Essek. He now understood why Beauregard did not normally have lunch with them; when he started working this early, his stomach was usually violently gurgling by 10 in the morning. There was no way he could last until noon to eat with Essek. At first, he would snack and try to stave off his hunger until he could join Essek at Caduceus’s, but his concentration was suffering from it, and a few days in, Beauregard insisted that they both have lunch together – earlier. He managed to negotiate a later lunch break once per week, but it came at the cost of his concentration and his satisfaction with his own work. It nagged at him, the fact that he was willing to sacrifice the quality of his work in exchange for time with Essek. He had never done that before and did not want to think too much on what it might mean. He decided to ignore those pressing questions and focus on not showing too much exhaustion when he did spend time with his friend.

Essek noticed.

“Caleb. Respectfully… may I speak frankly about something?” he asked Caleb over lunch one Friday morning. He seemed hesitant, as though this were a subject that needed to be broached despite his discomfort in doing so.

Caleb nodded, unsure where he might be directing the conversation.

“I believe you seem… ah, more worn out these days. Is the accounting work treating you right?” Essek’s face was open now, and whatever barrier he usually had to hide the depth of his emotions was now lowered and his full concern for Caleb was on display. It hit Caleb with force, and he found his heart accelerating with all of the care he had for his friend. He let the feeling wash over him before attempting to reassure Essek.

“Ach, Essek, you are… too kind. Do not worry about me. It is pleasant working with Beauregard, and Mirimm is an interesting woman – I am finding it fascinating to see her work and to learn all that I can.”

“Yes, I am sure – but what about you? I can tell you’re… tired, if you’ll allow the observation.”

Caleb huffed silently and shook his head.  “I am, ja, but it is a necessary step. I imagine if they train me as an interim and I can do the job, they will want to hire me in that position permanently rather than find another person to train.”

Essek blinked softly and gave a single nod, conceding but not agreeing. “I should hope so.” He then went back to his soup and gently picked up a piece of seaweed before interrupting his own motion and staring back at Caleb, curious now. “Are you… is this the path you wish to pursue?”

Caleb cocked his head. “Accounting?” Essek nodded. “Ja, well… not necessarily. Anything that will allow me to improve my living conditions will be good. I worry that –” He gestured at the air between them. “Well, I worry that this work that we are doing right now might be unstable for me. If Bilan decides to reassign me, I lose it all. At least, if I progress in accounting, I run the chance of being promoted and having a certain type of stability.” He glanced down at his own soup, then back into Essek’s eyes. “I can tell you, though, that this decision is painful to me, because it means that I might not be working with you as much.” The or at all remained stuck in his throat.

Essek leaned back and nodded, and they were both silent for a minute. Caleb played with his soup a bit before remembering it was likely not polite behavior. Upon looking towards Essek again, however, he saw him do the same. His heart hurt at the sight of Essek Thelyss – whose carefully-put façade had slowly been cracking in his presence – now so small and wistful. Essek caught Caleb’s stare and straightened his posture, a gracious smile finding its way to his lips as though it had always belonged there.

“Well, Caleb. I can certainly understand. I hope that… you find the job interesting as you progress.” His smile became more genuine as he added: “I only wish good things for you, friend.”

Caleb swallowed thickly. Some part of this felt wrong, and Essek had unknowingly – or knowingly? -  set his finger on it when he spoke of finding the job interesting. Was he doing this only because of Veth’s advice and Beauregard’s insistence?

“Ach, Essek. You are a good friend. It pains me to…” He shook his head. “Well, you are smart. You know me. You and I are the same, in a lot of ways. I do worry about the job as well.”

Essek’s gracious smile turned into concern once more. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that this potential job is interesting now, because it is different and new. But I am not sure that I will want to do this my whole life, you know? I am not trained for this; my deepest interests lie elsewhere. Some friends of mine have expressed… concern, and they are right. But truly, in my heart, I am not looking for stability. I long for new experiences, discoveries and risk.”

Caleb did not realize he had been leaning forward until his face was merely a few inches from Essek’s – did that mean the drow had been leaning towards him as well? He straightened his posture and gestured between them.

“But unfortunately, I do not have the same opportunities as you, my friend. Not here in Rosohna. So, I believe I must slowly climb my way towards a better employment status, where I will be able to live on my own and actually afford to eat in this lovely place every day –” He swung his empty spoon around, designating the restaurant with the motion, before realizing the amount of detail he was diving into was likely a misstep. “I mean – you know. I can afford it. That is not the point. But I am still in a precarious situation, and I think most people in my position would want to earn a decent salary and not be belittled in their job.”

Essek had been drinking in his words so far. He blinked slowly. Was it frustration Caleb could see written on his expression? It melted as soon as their eyes met again. Not directed towards himself, then. “Truly, I am sorry that you have to go through this. If I can help in any way – just let me know.”

Caleb nodded and stared at Essek a little while longer. He was very lucky, he thought, to have met Essek and discovered the wonderful man hidden under the formalities of office politics. It did not fix his current problem, but it made it a whole lot easier to bear.

They both eventually went back to their food and ate in companionable silence. A lighter conversation picked back up naturally between them, and Caleb found himself relating a few anecdotes from the accounting office to make Essek laugh. After an anecdote involving Caleb’s stomach making unholy sounds as he was trying to concentrate next to Mirimm, Essek chuckled, but his eyebrows tightened into a slight frown.

“This new schedule is rough on you, I assume?”

“I do not mind rising early. My stomach, however, wishes I would eat earlier,” Caleb joked.

Essek chuckled, but his eyes were thoughtful. They finished eating and headed back to the office for the remainder of the day.

The next morning, when Caleb came into work at precisely 5:43 in the morning, the door was unlocked. He glanced at his phone, expecting a message from Beauregard telling him she was earlier than usual this morning, but there was none. He walked in warily, wondering who else might have had permission to come in earlier.

When he passed by the kitchenette, he heard the coffee machine whirring and someone rummaging through a drawer. “Beauregard?” he called before stepping in.

The view that greeted him was unexpected, but very much welcome. Essek was standing in the kitchen, hair slightly tousled and eyes squinting from lack of sleep. He was next to the coffee machine and staring at nothing, but his head shot up when he heard Caleb arrive.

“Ah, Essek,” Caleb’s eyebrows were cocked in surprise. “I did not think you were one to come into work so early.”

Essek ran his hand through his hair, which tousled it more despite the fact that it had obviously been styled that same morning. He huffed before smiling at Caleb. “Oh, I don’t do it as often as… I would like to, I suppose. It is… refreshing, is it not?”

Caleb took in Essek’s exhausted appearance and pointed to the coffee machine, which was now dripping a clear-looking beverage that looked nothing like coffee. “That coffee looks like watered-down dishwater. Let me show you where I get mine,” he pointed at the travel cup he was carrying, still empty, “and we can come back better equipped to face the day, ja?”

Essek gave Caleb a sheepish smile and they both left the kitchen together.

Chapter Text

Caleb’s work with Beauregard was simple in some ways, yet complex in others. After a few weeks of being trained, Caleb’s excellent memory helped him with some aspects of his new job, but he was still not fast enough to spend much time on Essek’s projects. Their lunches together, daily now that Essek had started coming in early, involved Essek updating Caleb more than Caleb providing any real help. Their conversations were interesting as always, though, and time spent together was Caleb’s favourite part of the day.

In one such conversation, Essek had been telling Caleb about one of his perpetual issues with the department. “I just don’t know what I am going to do with him, Caleb. I do not know how to prove it, but I know he has been doing unsavory business at work. I have never trusted Adeen, and I am not about to start now, but…” He glanced around them nervously. “This stays between us, yes?”

Caleb nodded emphatically and Essek continued. “I believe he might be responsible for the server outage that happened a few weeks ago.”

Caleb’s eyes widened. “You mean the one that happened when he was on vacation.”

Essek nodded quietly. “I do not have proof, but I am hoping he makes a mistake next time.”

Caleb leaned back and blew out a breath in disbelief. “Incredible. Not only is he incompetent on his best day, but he would also create problems for you to fix alone when he is away.”

Essek smirked. “At least, it isn’t very subtle. I am onto him.”

They ate in companionable silence for a little while, until Essek cleared his throat. “Caleb, I was wondering. A few days ago, you told me that you were not trained for accounting, and that your interests lay elsewhere.”

At that, Caleb’s head shot upwards, but his mouth was full. He put his hand up to indicate he had heard and needed a minute, but Essek continued. “I was, ah, just wondering what those interests may be.”

Caleb swallowed his bite and hesitated, apologetic. “I… ach, Essek, it is normally not… something I speak of very often. Not in… well, it is a… a bit of a long story. I am sorry… perhaps another time, when we are not hurried? We have only 14 minutes left for lunch after all.” He ended with a conciliatory smile.

Essek nodded respectfully, noting that this was not the time to be pushing, and they finished their bowls, heading back to the office.

When Caleb stepped back into the accounting office, which was now familiarly stocked with his things, he was surprised to meet a figure he had never seen before: a short, dark-skinned elf was sitting at Beauregard’s desk and had accessed the computer. Caleb’s eyes narrowed slightly and he made his way around as subtly as he could to glimpse what they might be doing, the conversation with Essek earlier having made him suspicious. When he turned around, the desktop was blank, and the elf was looking at him.

“Excuse me. I do not believe I have had the pleasure to meet you,” Caleb asked, suspicious.

“I am Dairon, and I am here to train Beauregard. You must be Caleb Widogast,” the elf inquired.

“Ah, I apologize. I did not know you were going to come in.” Caleb now regretted his paranoia – the accounting office was secure, and it made sense that this new person would be authorized to access sensitive financial data.

“Do not apologize. It is a good instinct you had. Better to ask questions than to assume.” Dairon stared at him, but Caleb was saved by Beauregard’s arrival.

“Oh hey Caleb, I don’t think you’ve met Dairon before. They’re gonna be here for the afternoon and you can keep working with Mirimm.”

They nodded at him and invited Beauregard to sit, setting themselves up next to her.

Caleb began his work, and since it was on something quite repetitive, he ended up perking his ears to see how much he could learn from their interaction. Unfortunately, with no context, it was hard to understand much: what he could gather, though, is that they were talking about – verifying, perhaps? – the salaries for the year.

At a certain point, Dairon stopped Beauregard with a hand on her arm. “Wait. Scroll up?” After a moment, they continued. “Is this a typo?”

Beauregard was silent. Caleb risked another glance in her direction, and what he saw piqued his curiosity: Beauregard’s face was closed off and her lips were set in a thin line. She gave Dairon a weighted look and shook her head slightly.

Dairon’s eyes darted towards Caleb and he ducked back to work. There was silence around them for another few minutes. Caleb could hear Beauregard typing.

“That won’t do,” came Dairon’s voice softly.

“Well, what should I do then?” Beauregard’s response was brash and frustrated, but she kept her volume low.

“It’s not up to you.”

Caleb waited a few minutes before he risked another glance at them. Beauregard’s frustration seemed to have dissipated into something more akin to mournfulness as they both kept verifying whatever they were working on. He could only wonder what that conversation had been about – but his thoughts were interrupted by Mirimm’s croaky voice.

“It’s time for me to go now. Finish up the checks and prepare them for processing, and then you can get started on this week’s billing.”

Caleb opened his mouth to retort that it was not quite time yet, but decided it was none of his business if Mirimm left early. He gave her a smile and thanked her for the day. She grunted and made her way outside, her small goblin form waddling away in the utmost dignity. She had really grown on Caleb in this time they had spent together.

Barely a few seconds later, Dairon rose and swiftly closed the door behind Mirimm. They turned to Caleb. “May I have a word, Widogast?”

Caleb’s eyes darted towards Beauregard. She did not seem too surprised. “Do you want me to leave you two alone?” his friend offered.

Dairon did not answer and instead looked to Caleb, as though to let him decide. He hesitated. “Not… particularly, no. I mean – not necessarily, that is what I meant,” he corrected himself.

Dairon did not acknowledge his slip, but they did drag a chair to set themselves in front of Caleb’s desk. “I believe I have seen some information today in your employment file that is… unacceptable to me.” They squinted at Caleb, though it was not in a suspicious manner. Caleb feared what error he might have done – he would not have… rerouted money towards his own paycheck, would he? How would he even do that? He started going through the possibilities in his mind when Dairon interrupted his thoughts and added: “It is through no fault of your own. I merely thought it was appropriate to share the information with you, and to give you some context as to why I perceive it as unacceptable. Do you wish to hear it? I leave it up to you.”

Beau chimed in at that moment. “It’s true, Caleb. It’s just info for you, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Dairon cocked her head in a conceding motion towards Beauregard, though her eyes never left Caleb’s.

“I am curious, ja . What have you found that I should know?”

Dairon glanced at Beauregard, who gave them a curt nod, and then redirected their attention towards Caleb. “Your salary is significantly under market value, even if we only take into consideration your official administrative position. It also is far under what you should be paid right now with the accounting work that you are currently doing. But I think you are already well aware of that. What you might not know is that your salary is also under the base salary for a new administrative assistant at Kryn & Kryn.”

They let their words sink in. Caleb knew, of course, that it had been likely – but to have it confirmed was a whole other ordeal. Dairon continued: “Which means Kryn & Kryn are applying discriminatory wage practices. You must know that while it is technically illegal for employers to discriminate based on race in the Dynasty, it is usually hard to prove. However, with the information you would be acquiring in your new position,” they pointed towards Beauregard, who nodded, “you will have the details to support a claim if you wish to make one.”

They waited a moment to gauge Caleb’s reaction. “So, if I understand well, ja ,” he began slowly, weighing his words, “there is not a single person in this company who is paid less than me?”

“Yeah, basically,” Beauregard spat, looking incensed on his behalf. “I’m sorry, Caleb. But yeah, Dairon’s right. When you officially begin your interim, you’ll have the info to support your claim.”

Caleb blinked twice. “So… why did you not tell me before?”

Dairon shook her head. “Because Beauregard was not allowed to share this information with you. Technically, I am toeing the line today.” They pointed to the computer. “I cannot give you the information that you need to support your claim. My professional order as well as my contract and confidentiality statement forbid it. It is sensitive information.” Caleb’s heart sank, but Dairon continued. “However, I am letting you know that if things work as we think they might and you do end up replacing Mirimm, you should pay very close attention to the numbers the first time you complete everybody’s payroll and be on the lookout for some information to support such a claim.”

Caleb closed his eyes. Of course – the company had hired a young drow called Vedalla recently. A fresh-out-of-school new administrative assistant. Likely no experience. She must be the proof he would have to look for.

He sighed and rubbed his temples. “I… this is even worse. I knew I had poor working conditions, but knowing that the information is there, and that I cannot do anything… it is a thousand times more frustrating.”

When he opened his eyes again and stared at Dairon, they wore an expression of genuine apology. “I am sorry, truly. I suppose this is why Beauregard has not mentioned it before.” Dairon leaned back and waved their hand dismissively. “There are, of course, official tribunals you could bring this claim to, even without specific proof - those tribunals would have the power to investigate. However, it could be difficult for you to juggle this alone, especially if the company denies it and they have more resources to defend themselves. They are, after all, a lawyer firm.” Dairon grimaced, an unexpected expression on their stoic face. 

They continued. “Bringing it to a tribunal might be the official manner of proceeding, but it could take years before you reach closure, and your working conditions in the meantime would likely deteriorate. I would strongly advise you to wait just a little longer and settle it internally - it will be far quicker and less messy. Our systems have their flaws, and though we can actively work to improve them, in the short-term, sometimes it is best to work our way around them, and that is what I am trying to do here.” Dairon leaned forward and set their mouth into a grim line. “I can assure you that if there was anything in my power, anything that I could do to help fix this injustice, I would help you in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, this is all I can do for now.” They also glanced towards Beauregard. “And please do not ask Beauregard to divulge this information. She is in the same uncomfortable position as I am, and it would do neither of you any good. She has been wise to help you indirectly as she has so far.”

“I would not do such a thing,” Caleb retorted. He believed that Beauregard had always done everything she could to help him. How could he not?

Dairon rose and gave him a formal nod. “I apologize again for this unpleasant conversation, but hopefully it gives you the tools you need to better your situation. At least,” they blinked slowly, “it was my objective.”

“Thank you. I… unpleasant as it was, I am grateful for it.”

They turned to Beauregard. “I’ll leave you two for a while, I will be back in 30 minutes.” They then opened the door and all but disappeared from view. Beauregard sat herself on top of her desk and swung her legs a few times.

“Hey dude, you okay?”

Caleb heaved a sigh he wasn’t aware he had been holding. His hands were not shaking, and all in all, he figured he was handling this quite well. Of course, he was furious, but mostly, he simply felt… exhausted. He stared at the desk under his arms. “Ja, Beauregard. I do think it was good. It is just a shame that this is on my plate now,” he responded gloomily.

“Not yet, technically. But yeah. It sucks. I’ve been debating on how much I should tell you, but Dairon is a big fan of information and knowledge, though she keeps within the boundaries of what she’s allowed to do.” Beauregard looked pensive for a moment. “I think I prefer it this way too,” she added, mostly to herself.

“Do you think Bilan knows? Would that keep me from getting the job?”

Beauregard shook her head. “At least, I don’t think so. Not as a temporary interim, at least. And that’s all you would need to access the information.”

“When do you think that will happen? I have been training informally with you for weeks. Bilan is aware. How long will he just let me do this specialized work without being paid properly for it?”

Beauregard’s eyes narrowed and she seemed to think. “Actually… he might not see that as a problem, you know. It might go on for longer than it should.” She chuckled mirthlessly. “It kinda already has.”

Caleb sighed and rubbed his hands over his eyes. They remained quiet for a little while.

Beauregard was the first to break the silence. “What if you asked?”

Caleb lifted his hands off of his face and squinted at Beauregard. “As if that would fix all of my problems, ja ? Ask nicely?”

Beauregard rolled her eyes at his sarcasm. She then jumped down from her perch and came to stand in front of Caleb’s desk, looming over his slouching form.  “I know, I know. But hear me out: what if this has passed just because nobody’s noticed yet? What if your questioning triggered someone else to look at the issue?” She spread both of her hands on Caleb’s desk, then clenched one of them into a fist. “I just can’t believe that Quana Kryn would stand for that. I don’t want to believe it.”

“From what I have heard from her, it would not be likely, but the evidence speaks against it.” Caleb was exhausted by office politics and wanted nothing more than to lie down and rest away from it all. He slowly slouched forward until his forehead hit the top of the desk. Dramatically, he let his whole head rest on the cool surface for a few minutes, then spoke without looking up. “I suppose you might be right. Maybe I should say something.” He grimaced at the table, barely half an inch away from touching his nose. “Whistleblowing has never panned out in my favor in the past, though.”

Beau crouched until she was at his level, attempting – and failing – to get into his field of vision. “It doesn’t have to be whistleblowing. Whistleblowing is dangerous, and like Dairon said, you technically don’t have the information to support your claim yet, so you’ve gotta be careful. But what if you just…” she gesticulated with newfound enthusiasm in an attempt to get his attention. “I mean, we could work on both sides. I could tell Bilan you’re ready for the interim, and then you could go and ask for that position to be formalized. Then you can discuss salary!”

Caleb’s heart sank as he stared at the desk surface, still slouched over it. He was not prepared to argue his worth in front of Bilan, who had always been nothing but dismissive towards him. Situations like these hit a little too close to his vulnerable self-esteem for comfort. But then, he was not going to build that up by refusing to fight for himself – he needed to take a page out of Beauregard’s book. “I do not like it, but I know it is probably necessary,” he grumbled. He slowly rolled his forehead on the desk surface until his cheek was pressed to the desk and he was facing away from Beauregard. 

She switched sides and stared at him. “Hey. You can do this. What you’re asking for is normal. It’s the basics. You’re totally right in asking for it.”

Caleb closed his eyes and let his cheek rest on the surface. When he opened them, Beauregard was still there, staring at him. He grimaced, not unkindly. “Thank you, Beauregard. I appreciate your help and support.”

“Dude, I know you’re being genuine, but you sound so exasperated with life, and the fact that you’re just lying face down on your desk…” she gestured at him, then barked a small laugh. “Can’t say I don’t understand it, though.”

Caleb responded with an unfeigned smile. “ Ja , I know. And you are right, it was genuine.”

Caleb dreaded the conversation he would have with Bilan about his salary, but he did speak about it with Veth, who gave him encouragement and threatened to come assist him and scream at Bilan for him – and, frankly, that was the motivation he needed to do it on his own. Beauregard held back from mentioning any of it to Bilan until he was ready, which Caleb appreciated.

One morning, Caleb sat back at his official desk to do some work for Essek before moving to the accounting office to keep working on his daily accounting duties. He got a hefty amount of work done through the morning, and around 10 o’clock, he witnessed Bilan arriving in a cheerful mood – which, for Bilan, meant uttering a curt greeting to Jester at the front desk and passing by Caleb without a word or a look. Caleb could have sworn he heard humming, though, and that did not happen often.

As soon as his boss turned the corner, Caleb opened his messaging tab and sent Beauregard a message: He is in a good mood today. Do you think you could speak with him before lunch?

Changing tabs quickly before anyone noticed, he then proceeded to try and focus on his work once more, but an image of an angry owl popped by in his notifications and he saw Beauregard had responded. I’ll do my best. Let you know asap.

Caleb drummed his fingers on the table and turned his head to see if anyone was looking at him. Nervous, he tore a sticky note from a pile and began jotting down the key points he wanted to mention: he had been doing more specialized tasks in accounting; his work had always been flawless; he had a bigger responsibility, and his salary should reflect that. He scratched at the bottom of the note: express gratitude for position, thank him for his guidance . What else would Ikithon have appreciated from him? Caleb shook the uneasy feeling that came with thoughts of his previous director and instead focused on looking for other potential points to support his request. After a moment of nervous fidgeting, he crumpled the piece of paper and threw it in the bin – it was not as if he could bring it and read from it while in Bilan’s office.

He did his best to focus on his task, knowing that Essek would benefit from any of the work he could squeeze into this morning before his accounting schedule. Fortunately, 23 minutes later, he received an incoming message from Beauregard. I told him. Not super receptive, but not bad either. Probably as good as we’ll get.

Caleb inhaled in a long breath and stretched his arms, just as Frumpkin did when he would stretch off his morning jitters. After another few deep breaths, he locked his display and stepped away from his computer, checked his appearance quickly and strode in the direction of Bilan’s office.

The old drow’s door was closed, as usual. Caleb knocked thrice, quite firmly for he knew that the drow would not hear him otherwise. He was rewarded with a raspy “What is it?”

He opened the door to reveal himself. “Director Bilan, I hope you are well. There is something I would like to bring up with you, perhaps, if you have a moment to discuss?”

Bilan squinted at his watch, but then seemed to deflate and waved him in impatiently. “Yes, yes. Come in. Close the door behind you.”

Caleb did so and sat in the chair in front of Bilan. “As you know, Miss Lionett and Ms. Mirimm have been training me as a backup for most of the daily accounting tasks: receivables, payables. They have also been instructing me on how to proceed with payroll, even though I have not had an occasion to put it to good use quite yet.” He bowed his head slightly and gave his most charming smile. “I must say, it was excellent foresight on your part. I am very proud to be helping Administrative Services in ensuring a constant and reliable service, no matter what comes up.”

Bilan mellowed down at the flattery. “Well, yes. Yes, it’s my job after all. Ensuring continuity.”

Caleb internally acknowledged his first success and went on. “I would be very happy to keep going in such a role. However, I believe that in normal circumstances, this kind of extra work and the acquiring of specialized skills is usually compensated according to a standardized remuneration scale.”

Bilan’s expression soured. “Yes, well, I regret to inform you that you are not quite on the same wage scale as the others.”

Of course, Caleb knew that Bilan meant that he did not qualify at the same level as Beauregard or Mirimm due to lack of formal training. Nevertheless, frustration curled in his stomach and he could not help but to think Oh, yes. I am well aware, old man. Thankfully, he persevered without missing a beat, and squared his shoulders with a careful smile. “Of course. Regardless, I would hope that my hard work would not go unrewarded, happy as I am to give it. Perhaps if an interim position were to open, I could keep serving the department in a more official manner?”

Bilan shook his head. “You don’t have the qualifications, boy. We need accountants to do this work.”

Caleb felt his hackles rise. “I believe I am already doing it, for the most part.”

Bilan’s lips tightened, and his jowls waggled as his head gave a sharp, involuntary twitch. “Yes, well, it’s a temporary situation. Don’t go thinking you deserve a promotion just because of that. Your job is to serve the department, and you’re doing just that.” Bilan’s eyes narrowed defensively.

Caleb breathed in, hoping to mask his frustration with a charming smile, though his face felt tight. “I would never dream to take anything for granted, least of all my job in this company and department. For that, I am forever grateful.”

Bilan gave a satisfied nod at that and lowered his eyes to his watch. Before he could be dismissed, Caleb continued: “Perhaps, for a temporary situation, a temporary measure could be put in place, then? I do take pride in the consistency of my work and would love to keep putting it to good use. However, I believe this new arrangement, as much as it pleases me, falls far past the initial purview of my position.” He paused for effect, before adding, as if it had been an afterthought – whereas it had been his last-resort weapon all along. “If you would prefer not to be bothered with such things, perhaps I could bring this situation to a member of HR? This is unimportant busywork for a drow in your position, I understand, and I am grateful for the time you are so graciously giving me.” Fearful he might have laid it on too thick with that last sentence, Caleb waited expectantly.

Bilan’s face had scrunched up into a scowl when Caleb had mentioned bringing it to HR. Fortunately, it seemed that his last sentence had softened the threat into something more palatable, and perhaps – if Caleb were to be so lucky – it had not been perceived as a threat.

“Indeed. This is a menial issue that will be dealt with. Let me think about it, consider different factors, and – well, hum ... I shall, of course, discuss it with HR on my own – and I will see what arrangement I can come up with. Please think twice before bothering me with such things in the future.”

Caleb nodded formally and put all his energy towards masking his frustration. He thanked his superior once more, shaking the uneasy feeling that came with such grovelling, and rose to take his leave, earning himself the first pleased grunt from Bilan since his arrival.

As Caleb passed by the accounting office, he saw Mirimm give him another one of her piercing stares, and he shied away from it this time. His nerves were raw still, and he felt like she was dressing him down. He walked back to his desk and settled down for the remainder of the morning, hoping to disappear into the floor.

Chapter Text

Essek tightened his silk scarf around his neck and rubbed his hands against each other until they grew slightly warmer. It seemed to him that Caleb was always warm: perhaps the air around the human was heated by his perpetual fiery halo of hair. 

Caleb was beautiful, too. Though that was not a thought he should dwell on.

He thought of Caleb rolling his eyes at him, jokingly – or, if Essek might even dare to say it, almost tenderly – every time Essek grumbled about the cold. But even though it was the middle of the summer, the nights were cold, and he was still a miserable, cold drow whenever he had to get up this early in the morning. He turned his key into the ignition and his car came to life, the radio display taunting him with the time. It was barely 5 AM and Essek was already going into work. What had that gorgeous man done to get him wrapped around his little finger?

He grimaced and blew a final warm breath over his fingers before settling his hands on the wheel and beginning to back out of his garage. Caleb’s influence on him and perpetual presence in his thoughts was not a train of thought he needed to pursue… And yet he had found himself playing whack-a-mole with his own thoughts lately. Not only was Caleb attractive and intriguing, but Essek was also quickly discovering the depth and vivacity of this man’s wit. It made him even weaker when he saw Caleb lower his long copper lashes or tighten his lips in thought: he knew that whatever incredible view he was privy to was only the tip of the iceberg, and that there was much more to him that met the eye. He was worth Essek rising at an unholy hour every morning for the rest of his life. Not that he would be involved with Caleb for the rest of his life – or that involved was the right term. Lights above, Thelyss, stop while you’re ahead .

He retrieved his focus and drove for a little while on small residential streets before looking to his left, setting his blinker and turning onto a highway, reminding himself of yet another advantage of this self-imposed early schedule: not only did he get to see Caleb more, but he also got to evade traffic. Despite all of this, though, Essek found his days to be lacking: he missed Caleb. Even with his desperate bid to see him more often, he found that lunch together still felt rushed, and that he longed to spend more time with him.

His mind strayed back to the conversation they’d had a few days ago, when he had asked Caleb about his history and training. Caleb had deflected his question, citing lack of time, but promised to tell him when they would have a better occasion to discuss it. His face, though, showed a ghost of conflict, and Essek could see that it was likely not an easy subject. By the light, Essek was so curious .

He chuckled silently and shook his head: he was completely lost in the mystery of Caleb Widogast. Who was this strange man who had stumbled into his life with no training, no work experience, a mind sharp as a blade and the most dashing smile he had ever seen? His beautiful blue eyes, a rarity in these parts, marked him as a stranger to anybody who would look, yet Essek had found himself more at ease with Caleb than with anyone else.

Even though Caleb hid it well under his nonthreatening attitude, Essek could guess that the man was hiding things from him. Caleb’s offhand comment about his ‘deepest interests’ came to Essek’s mind, and like many other times in the past, he found himself wondering where it was that the man had honed such a sharp mind. It was clear that Caleb had left his home in the Empire, and emigrating was not a thing you did for pleasure, especially if it involved being a human in Rosohna. Caleb must have left behind something truly terrible if the prospect of trudging through the lower echelons of the corporate job market in Rosohna seemed preferable to whatever he had before.

Essek shook his head free from these thoughts; his curiosity was gnawing at him, but there was no need to worry. Caleb had never actively hidden anything from him. Rather, he had explained to Essek that he wanted to discuss it at length, at a later time. Essek looked forward to that conversation – for more than just curiosity’s sake, he had to admit – but as things were going, it seemed less and less within reach. Caleb was spending most of his day with Beauregard or Mirimm, and though they did share the occasional lunch just the two of them, Beauregard would now join them more often than she used to. He was happy about that, of course, but… combined with Caleb’s increasing overwhelm with his new job, it left little space for meaningful one-on-one conversations to be squeezed into their lunch hours. He almost decided to start taking the subway home with Caleb at the end of their respective days, but after looking up how it worked, he decided it would remain a last resort. There were limits he was willing to go to, and public transit was one step too far.

Essek made his way to the office and, upon arriving, was welcomed by the serene sight of Caleb going through employee files quietly, eyes still bleary. They exchanged quiet morning greetings and soon enough, he set himself to work at his desk with the promise of a pleasant lunch with his friend.

Of course, Essek did not purposefully pass by the accounting office several times a day to catch a glimpse of Caleb however many times he could – that was a baseless accusation, and he would refute it to his death. And well, if he took the longer route from the bathroom and kitchenette back to his office just because it led him closer to where Caleb worked, nobody would dare hold it against him. Especially since that was what keyed him into the fact that something was wrong that day.

Caleb’s smile this morning had been honey and crackling fire, but around ten o’clock when Essek had passed by and glanced into the accounting office, all traces of relaxed joy were gone from Caleb’s expression as he stared blankly at his computer monitor. Essek did not stop by to check in on him – he did not have a real reason for being by the accounting office. When he arrived back at his own desk, he tried to set it aside in his mind: Caleb might have just been focused on something dreadfully boring. Mirimm was not there today, so he might have been zoning out for a brief moment of respite. Gods knew that man deserved one. Nevertheless, there was something broken in Caleb’s eyes and no matter how much Essek tried to rationalize it away, it nagged at his brain.

He was torn from his train of thought by a violent CLANG! and his head sprung up immediately. It was just Beauregard slamming the hallway door behind her with a vehemence that was exaggerated even for her, and when he saw it, he nearly rolled his eyes and huffed. However, he stopped himself when he noticed that Beauregard’s face was twisted with a kind of rage he had never witnessed before. Something uneasy made its place in his stomach, and he resolved to open their chat and check in with Caleb.

Essek: Are we still good for lunch at eleven?

There was no answer for a while, and though it was probably only a few minutes, it felt like hours. His concern rose with every moment that went by without an answer, and he found himself hard pressed to focus on anything that was in front of him, instead fiddling with a pen and chewing at his bottom lip.

Eventually, a blinking Caleb is writing… appeared on the bottom of the chat, and after an unending amount of time, an answer finally came through.

Caleb: I do not think I can make it, unfortunately. Feel free to go without me.

Essek stared at his screen, brows furrowed. Caleb began typing again.

Caleb: I am sorry. Perhaps another day.

Essek held back from walking straight away into the accounting office and asking what had happened. Instead, he fretted and hesitated over what to respond, settling for a neutral acknowledgement. He almost sent a worried message to Beauregard before deciding against it, and overall failed to concentrate on his work. 

An hour passed and he made his way outside to have lunch, noticing that the accounting office was empty and that it had been locked. He must be having lunch with Beauregard, then. That reassured Essek somewhat, though he would have preferred to know what was happening.

He had a quick lunch on his own before heading back into the office, hoping to not be absent if Caleb decided to come see him. When he saw that there was no message left for him and that his office was as he had left it, he could not help the disappointment pooling into his stomach. I believed we were close . He had divulged much to Caleb, from confidential company information to personal history, and had hoped Caleb felt like he could do the same.

He did end up passing by the accounting office once more, later in the afternoon, and what he saw made his heart clench. Caleb’s eyes were unfocused, and his head leaned heavily on both of his arms. He was sulking, slouched forward to a point where the computer monitor almost hid his face, but Essek could clearly see the haze in his eyes. Caleb seemed… deflated.

Essek’s body was faster than his ability for critical thought, and he found himself striding into the accounting office. Once in there, not quite sure of what he was hoping to accomplish, his eyes darted to the corner where Beauregard’s desk was. He was met with such a glare from her that any words he might have uttered got stuck in his throat. Her eyes were blazing with righteous anger, and her lip curled into the beginning of a snarl before she rigidly redirected her attention away from him and towards her work. He could not help but recoil slightly, not sure if it would be best to be ignored or screamed at (though he did not know what he might have done to deserve her scathing look).

He gulped before turning back to Caleb, whose eyes were now locked on him. Essek did not know what to say, and in his unease, he went for the first thing that he knew Caleb had always responded to positively.

“I need your help.”

Caleb did not react much: gone was his curiosity and alertness. Beauregard, however, spoke from his side. “What do you need his help with?”

Essek noted that, surprisingly, her voice did not carry the venom that was in her eyes earlier; even some of that seemed to have diminished in the short time following his entrance. Her arms were crossed now, and she was eyeing him defensively.

Essek responded, though his attention turned back to Caleb. “I, ah… There has been a delivery and I need help carrying it back.” He inclined his head towards Caleb. “We would have to go outside, if you are… amenable to that?”

Caleb’s eyes shifted to meet Beauregard’s. The two of them seemed to hold a short, silent conversation, resulting in Beauregard relaxing her protective attitude. She sighed and uncrossed her arms, leaning forward and settling her posture for work once again, but not without shooting Essek one last look. It was a weighted stare, and in it, Essek could read the same tiredness that he saw in Caleb’s.

Setting this rollercoaster of reactions aside in his mind, he turned back to see Caleb rise and lock his computer in a swift keystroke. The redhead then extended an arm towards the door and spoke softly.

“I am following you, Essek.”

Essek nodded and led them towards the emergency stairs. Caleb was following closely behind, not interacting.

They made their way outside and, thankfully, the sun was hidden and the air was pleasant. Essek led them on for a few streets, making sure to remain close to Caleb. Eventually, his friend’s curiosity got the better of him.

“Where are we going?”

Essek slowed down, not having thought that far ahead. It turns out, he was extremely bad at lying to his friends. He turned towards Caleb and smiled apologetically.

“I am sorry, Caleb. I did not mean to trick you. I just meant to… get you out of there. You looked… miserable, if I may say so.”

Caleb’s eyes widened, and a surprised chuckle escaped his throat. “Won’t we get in trouble if we just leave work like this?”

Essek shrugged in the most dignified way he could; to be perfectly fair, the idea had not even crossed his mind. “Leave that to me. As far as you are concerned, we are retrieving a package.” He measured his next words and kept an eye out for Caleb’s reaction. “Besides, I doubt Bilan looks too closely at what we are doing.”

Just like Essek had hypothesized, Caleb’s expression soured again. Then, it is about Bilan. I wonder what the withered prune has done this time.

Essek slowed to a halt and turned towards Caleb. The sidewalk was not busy, but people were occasionally walking past them – none of them paying too much attention to what they were doing. “Caleb, you look wretched. What happened?”

Caleb shrugged and barked a sardonic laugh. “Nothing. It’s always the same thing.”

Essek remained silent, but he did beckon Caleb towards a less busy street. There, they found no company save from the occasional person taking out trash or accessing a parking space. Caleb  and continued.

“Several weeks ago, I realized that I am being severely underpaid.” He then shook his head with a sneer and amended his thought: “Well, I suppose I knew it all along, but it hit me in the face the other day. I discussed it with Beauregard, and she encouraged me to ask for a raise.”

Essek grimaced. He could feel where this was going. He blamed Beauregard for a split-second, before realizing that she had been right: the status quo was no option, and it had been the logical advice to give. Still, he braced himself for the rest of Caleb’s story.

“You know how it must have gone. He practically laughed in my face and told me I did not deserve it. I argued for a temporary bonus and thought I had come out of the discussion giving him something to think about. He told me he would think about it.” Caleb’s gaze remained on the ground as they began walking again, albeit slowly. “Of course, he said no.”

Essek stopped abruptly. “What do you mean, he said no? What excuse did he give you?”

Caleb shrugged. “He said HR had determined that even though my tasks were different in nature, I did not really hold a higher level of responsibility, and as such, there could be no raise nor bonus. That I was basically just… doing another kind of assistant work.”

Essek shook his head. “But that’s simply not true. You are handling bills and invoices and Light knows what else – Caleb, this cannot possibly come from HR. It makes no sense. That is not how they evaluate job positions.” He waved his hand around, unable to keep from gesticulating in his frustration. “Do you really think Bilan went to HR to discuss this? In barely two days? I don’t think so–”

He was interrupted in his tirade by Caleb’s hand on his shoulder. He quieted down and stared at Caleb for a second, and the human gave his shoulder a short squeeze before letting his hand drop. “Essek, I am tired of fighting for this. I know that it is wrong, but I want to stop feeling like I need to justify my existence.”

“You do not need to justify – no, Caleb. You do so much for this company, and you are…” Essek tried to get Caleb’s attention by bowing to meet his gaze. “You are a wonderful friend. Your existence is plenty justified.”

Caleb held his gaze and his eyes followed Essek, before he straightened himself. He closed his eyes in acknowledgement of the compliment but seemed tired. “You know what I mean.”

Essek let his eyes flutter closed and nodded. “I do, and I am sorry.”

Caleb looked away as someone passed them by on a bike, and his lips tightened into a grimace. “I put myself in this position. Now, I cannot step back and begin working with you again – or at least, not exclusively. I regret reaching for something that was not meant for me.”

Essek bristled at the implication. “That is not true. You would make an excellent accountant. Bilan’s bigotry should not have any say in it.”

They began walking again in silence. Essek found himself imagining what Caleb would do next. Would he leave Kryn & Kryn? Would he find another job? Did Essek have any contacts who might want to hire Caleb? Unfortunately, before Kryn & Kryn, Essek had had little work experience of his own, so his influence was limited. 

Could he convince Caleb to speak directly to HR about this? It did not feel right, and as bigoted as Bilan was, Essek did not believe it to be generalized to all of Kryn & Kryn’s employees. Besides, HR had a versed interest in reducing workplace inequality, so Caleb had a better chance at succeeding if they were directly involved – or so he hoped.

Caleb seemed to read his thoughts and expanded on his plans, unprompted. “I am not going to leave yet.”

Essek’s head spun to face his friend, careful to hide his hope. “That is… good. I think there may be a way yet to–”

“I am not fighting either.”

Essek stared in confusion.

Caleb explained. “I will keep an eye out for outside offers, but there are not many. For now, I think I must resign myself to this being as good as I will get.”

Essek bit the inside of his cheek in frustration, but the words escaped him nonetheless: “I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong.”

Caleb turned to him, surprised.

“You deserve so much more than this, Caleb. I understand that you do not have the energy to fight this right now, and I respect it. But know that this is temporary, and that you will find something better. Kryn & Kryn is old, and though it is evolving, change comes slowly. But out there are plenty of startups in tech that would be thrilled to welcome a person as competent and brilliant as you into their midst. They might not pay as well in general, but they would pay you fairly, and they would make you feel valued .” He stopped that train of thought before he kept actively encouraging Caleb to leave – selfish as it were, he did not wish to lose him as a colleague.

Caleb’s interest seemed piqued. “Do you think there might be jobs for me in tech? I do not think I have the profile they would be looking for…”

Essek cocked his head. “It really depends on the company. And I do not really know what your training is. I know you have left things out of your CV.”

Caleb seemed to close back in on himself, so Essek changed the subject swiftly. “Either way, Caleb: if you wish to argue your case with Kryn & Kryn, or to look for another job elsewhere, please do not think you need to do it alone. I will provide any assistance, references and help that I possibly can, and I am sure that Beauregard will be glad to help as well.”

Caleb’s eyes met his and though he did not speak, Essek felt his gratitude. He had not been paying much attention to where they were going, but their footsteps had led them back towards their building. They walked towards it in silence, but when they came close to the building’s entrance, Caleb grabbed Essek’s forearm and tugged on it, stopping them before they went inside.

“Essek, I appreciate what you have done for me today.” He seemed to hesitate after that, perhaps unsure what else to say.

“It was my pleasure, Caleb. That is… what friends are for, is it not?”

Caleb’s face lit up at his words, and a crinkle reappeared shyly at the edge of his eyes. “Your methods are unconventional, but they worked. I feel much better now, and perhaps I can focus on my work this afternoon.”

“Well, I am glad – but do not put too much pressure on yourself. We all have off-days,” he glanced down at his leg with a frown, “and we are allowed to be less productive when they come. We are not machines, after all.”

Caleb nodded sagely. “Wise words. You must speak from experience.”

“You are perceptive.” Essek did not elaborate, and Caleb did not either.

“Well, regardless. I feel much better after taking a walk – apologies, after helping you out with this package ,” Caleb corrected, facetiously.

Essek chuckled. “I am glad I could do something – leaving you on your own did not sit right with me. Though,” he frowned, “you seemed to have a protective guard in Beauregard.”

Caleb smiled, amused. “She has been ornery ever since I told her this morning. I suppose she is angry at the world.” He clapped Essek’s shoulder. “Do not worry about her, though. She does not think you are actually responsible for anything.”

“Just human-to-human solidarity, then. I can understand that,” Essek smiled.  Beauregard was right to defend Caleb against the world - if he could, he would do the same. He let his eyes linger on the man’s face, taking in the freckles and the crinkle that was now steadily growing at the edge of his eyes. How could that man make him feel such awe?

Later, he would not know what overtook him, but when Caleb gave his shoulder a final clap and started making his way inside, Essek could not help it: he grabbed Caleb’s arm, keeping him close. His other hand went to Caleb’s copper hair and tugged a strand out of its tie, letting it fall on the side of Caleb’s face.

“Here, that way, you look more like you’ve carried something heavy.”

Caleb grinned at that, and Essek’s world narrowed until all he could see was the blue of Caleb’s eyes and the blush over his freckled nose.

“ Danke , friend.”

Chapter Text

Essek glanced at the top right corner of his screen and breathed a sigh of relief: finally, his day was coming to an end. Most people had left the office already, but he had some catching up to do and had told himself he would stay until six. The weather outside perfectly reflected his mood: large ropes of rain crashed against the window as though they were taunting him and his futile frustrations. Today’s meetings had been tense, and he had failed to convince the board of directors that IT needed another employee on their team. It seemed that no matter what he did, as long as he was stuck with Adeen, he would have a hard time accomplishing much.

Besides, he knew that another employee would help, but not fix the problem of Adeen’s incompetence – especially if, as he suspected, Adeen had been tampering with the systems in order to… what, exactly? To put Essek in trouble? To play hero when he would finally come to fix it? To justify his usefulness? Essek suppressed a growl. Tasithar should be asked to justify his position. He did not deserve trust, and nothing would make Essek happier than for his employee to have to explain what he did during the day. But despite his best efforts, Adeen was officially under Bilan’s authority, and Bilan’s trust in Adeen was unwavering.

Essek would believe it to be nepotism, if he believed Bilan capable of such a thing. As it were, it was more likely to be laziness and a wish to maintain the status quo. After all, Bilan could only be retiring soon – there was no way he would stay here for much longer, Essek hoped – meaning he would try and detach from his work as much as possible. Not a very good moment for an IT revolution.

This meant that Essek would have to make do with what he had. He would keep entrusting Adeen with whatever he could and continue making diligent note of his faults. His only hope was to one day constitute a file so thick that Adeen could only be fired. But for that, he needed evidence of his tampering with the systems, and since Adeen was in charge of the network, it was unlikely that Essek would be catching him through cyber monitoring.

Stealing another quick glance at the time, he realized that he had not done any work in the past few minutes, lost as he was in his frustrated musings. But it did not matter: his day was over now, and he could finally drive home, flop dramatically on his bed, order food and become deaf to the world until tomorrow morning brought another chance at something pleasant. Perhaps he and Caleb could go for lunch together. He flustered at the realization that time with Caleb had become his new definition of “something pleasant”.

Of course, he still very much enjoyed time with Fjord when the half-orc could spare it, or lunch spent with Beauregard – in all honesty, he did miss his perpetually angry friend, who had been the first person he’d gotten along with since arriving at Kryn & Kryn. Beauregard’s training with Dairon was taking up more and more of her time and energy, and like Caleb, she was starting to show signs of wear. Essek knew that recent events with Caleb, especially when Bilan had refused to promote Caleb two weeks ago, had affected her deeply. He could only imagine that she might find it an unwelcome reminder of her own beginnings at Kryn & Kryn.

Digging through his things and remembering he had not brought an umbrella with him that morning, he cursed his lack of foresight. Thankfully, he knew Jester had something for him in these moments; he walked through empty hallways to the front desk and found the umbrella Jester had lent to him a few months ago during a particularly violent storm. She had probably expected him to balk at its frills and vibrant pink color, but looks be damned, he had just been very happy to not have to walk to the parking garage in the pouring rain and had accepted her kindness in the form of this ‘emergency umbrella’. It had also been, he remembers fondly, the beginning of a precious friendship between them.

He heard some noise coming from the hallway on his right, decided he was too tired for small talk, and instead ducked into another corridor, taking the long way back to his office. There, he packed the last of his things and headed out into the rain.

When he pushed the door and finally got to witness the elements angrily pouring their agitation on the sidewalk, he was immediately assaulted with a gust of wind and rain, the canopy above the transom providing little cover. He wrestled his pink umbrella open and, in the process, nearly stabbed a lanky man next to him.

“Apologies! I did not see…” his excuse died in his throat when the figure turned and revealed a confused head of red hair and pink skin.

Caleb was soaked, and Essek’s first movement was to brandish the pink umbrella so that it would cover him instead. He was rewarded with a wide grin. “ Ach , Essek! That is a good surprise – come, do not stay out in the rain to protect me. This umbrella is large enough for two.”

It most definitely was not, but Essek was not about to complain when long fingers hovered over his umbrella-holding hand, seemingly wanting to help, and another hand ushered him closer. Now, they were both semi-protected from the elements.

“Caleb, I did not think you worked such long hours. Did Bilan ask you to stay late?”

Caleb chuckled. “ Nein , this is my doing.  I have someone to meet downtown, you see, and it was easier to stay in the area than to go home and come back after.”

Someone to meet. Essek’s ears rang with the unsaid implications of the words, and his heart sank. He stared, dumbfounded, before shaking himself. “So you have just been… waiting in the pouring rain, like that?”

Caleb’s laugh rang in Essek’s ears like the crackling of a log in a warm fireplace – and suddenly, the rain did not feel as gloomy or as cold. “ Nein, Freund .” Caleb nodded towards the door. “I came out of there just a few minutes ago. I thought there was no one else in the building and I did not want to trigger the security alarm.”

“Ah, that makes sense, yes–” before he could say something witty, Essek felt a violent gust of wind push his umbrella away, leaving them vulnerable to the torrential downpour. He kept hold of it, but his arm, better suited to computer programming than to heavy lifting, struggled to keep the umbrella upright. He shot the sky a dirty glare, but it was wiped off of his face when he felt a warm hand rest over his own and tilt the umbrella back into position. He turned his head towards Caleb again, mouth slightly agape, and blinked. His heart accelerated as he searched for an appropriate reaction to Caleb’s proximity .

Caleb’s hold was firm, but Essek must have taken too much time to process and look shocked because suddenly, it seemed to lose its confidence. As soon as the wind calmed down, Caleb removed his hand, to Essek’s great dismay, and flashed Essek an apologetic smile.

“Sorry,” Caleb muttered, and he did not expand on the subject. Essek’s cheeks were burning, and his hand felt like it had been branded.

They remained in silence for a moment, Essek still processing the gesture. Surely, it was nothing more than a practical move to keep them both from getting soaked. Caleb could not have meant it to be flirtatious. He was too far out of Essek’s league: handsome, personable and friendly, a sharp contrast with Essek in everything down to their very color schemes. 

He spared a quick glance towards Caleb again and noticed a blush on the human’s cheeks. Hopefully, he had not made Caleb uncomfortable. Besides, didn’t Caleb have a… a rendezvous, tonight? It was uncouth of Essek to hope for the man to make a move on him, even as he was preparing to meet someone.

Essek sighed and let his mind wander. Whoever Caleb’s date might be, he hoped they would treat him well. Caleb deserved nothing but the very best. While he understood the desire for companionship (now, that’s new , his mind offered unhelpfully), he worried that the current events in Caleb’s life might make him more susceptible to heartbreak. Perhaps, if he could steal a glance at Caleb’s date, it might… reassure him.

Now that he had a plan, as ridiculous as it might be, Essek found himself some renewed confidence. If he could not date the man, he would at least make sure he was well taken care of.

Wait, what?

Veering away from that train of thought as fast as he could manage, he turned to Caleb. “Well, where are you going? Perhaps I can give you a lift?”

Red eyebrows cocked at that. “You have brought a car? Then what are you doing here?”

Essek shrugged defensively. “You were going to get soaked before your rendezvous. I could not let that happen.” Caleb seemed confused, so Essek insisted before he got the chance to ask any more embarrassing questions. “I can bring you there if you would like?”

Caleb fidgeted. “It’s in… awhile. I have another hour and a half yet to go.”

Essek waved a hand dismissively. “We can wait in the car. Far better than here.”

Caleb hesitated for a second before seeming to come to a decision. A wide smile crept on his face again and he extended his arm towards the pouring rain. “Now, that is a kind offer. Lead the way, then, friend.”

They walked briskly, attempting to avoid large puddles and stay under Jester’s pink umbrella at the same time. More than a few times, they bumped into each other, and Essek lost himself in Caleb’s mirth. When they finally reached the parking garage, they were both soaking wet and their shoes squelched over the concrete. Essek led them to his car, sleek and stylish, and gestured towards the co-pilot seat in an invitation for Caleb to enter. He wrestled Jester’s umbrella closed and shook it once or twice, but when he opened his door and ducked into the car, he saw Caleb pawing at the door, incomprehension on his features.

He ducked back out of the car and bit back a grin. “Push on the handle.”

Caleb looked at him as though he had grown another head. “There is no handle.”

Essek grinned wider. This was not the first time someone had gotten confused by the car, but nobody had ever done it in such an adorable manner: the expression on Caleb’s face made his heart want to melt. “Yes, there is – but it is receded. Push on one end of the silver line.”

He saw Caleb fiddle with it a little before his face lit up and Essek knew he had figured out the door. The human settled himself neatly inside. “This is a fancy car you have here, Herr Thelyss.”

Essek settled back into the driver’s seat and turned on the ignition. “I quite like it. Do you not?” he teased.

Caleb chuckled. “Nein, it is very pretty. I knew you had taste. I would just hope that whatever water I am bringing inside does not soak through the seat and stain it.”

Essek waved a dismissal. “I am soaking wet as well. Besides, what is a car if not for using?”

Caleb hummed in agreement and Essek began backing up. They made their way through the parking garage and outside into the rain before Essek thought to ask where they were headed.

“To your right. We are going to the corner of Light’s Eve and Bonfire street, near the Arbor Exemplar statue.”

A strange place for a date indeed – but then, Essek thought, there was a museum a few streets away. Perhaps Caleb just did not want him to meet his date. That was definitely alright with him, not an issue at all.

They rode in silence for a moment, Essek wrestling himself away from the pang of jealousy that twisted his stomach, until Caleb spoke. “You know, they are opening an accounting position to formally replace Mirimm.”

Essek turned his eyes to Caleb as soon as the road allowed it, looking for a hint at the kind of answer he might be expecting. The human was simply staring ahead, looking relaxed, before turning his head to lock eyes with Essek. This new silence hung between them before Essek had to drag his eyes back to the road, reluctantly paying attention to things other than the man next to him. He still managed to peek at Caleb afterwards, when he uttered a tentative answer.

“Ah, and… how do you feel about that?”

Caleb was silent for a moment, before saying “I think I might apply.”

Unexpected as it might be, Essek found himself nodding in encouragement. “Then I wish you the best. They would be lucky to have you.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he spied a smile on Caleb’s lips. “ Ja , well. We will see about that. I am not holding out too much hope. But I’ve decided that I will be trying once more.” He straightened his position and waved a hand to mark his words. “After all, I am the one currently doing the job. Mirimm is only a few days now from retiring and they will want someone to keep handling payroll after she’s gone, will they not?”

Essek smirked. “I should hope so. I certainly expect to keep getting paid.”

Caleb nodded. “And this is a formal process, so it will be going through HR. The applications will be handled by them, not only Bilan, which I hope might give me more of a chance.”

Essek nodded. “Caleb, I must commend your perseverance.” He stole another glance at his friend. “I know this is hard on you, but you deserve what you are asking for and I hope you will get it.”

Caleb nodded and Essek’s eyes returned to the road. He was not looking forward to losing his last opportunity to work with Caleb, but it was what was best for him, and Essek would support him in his endeavors. “Do you know when the hiring process will begin?” Essek asked.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Caleb shrug. “We will see. So far, they’ve opened the position for current employees at the same time as for people from the outside, which leads me to think they were not expecting someone to apply from inside.”

Essek frowned. They should have – but then, he was beginning to understand Caleb’s disillusion with the whole process.

Caleb leaned forward and ran his hand through his wet hair, attempting to make it presentable. “You know, I am not too angry about all of this. Erstens , because it is draining, and I do not have Beauregard’s energy.” Essek chuckled at that. “Zweitens , because either way, the hiring process will take more than a few days, and Mirimm’s last day is on Friday.”

Essek turned to Caleb as they reached a red light and took in his meaning. “That means you will be an official interim either way… that’s good.”

Caleb made an approximative motion with his hand. “They might not officialize it. But I have reason to believe that my situation will improve once I begin to handle payroll.”

Essek could only hope so, though he was unsure of the exact reasoning behind Caleb’s words. He simply nodded and returned his attention to the road, set his blinker, and turned one last corner, and here they were, on a smaller street packed with commercial buildings and office towers. He hoped Caleb would stay for a little more conversation before leaving for his date.

Essek parked his car on the side of the street and turned to his friend. “It’s fine if you want to check your phone, you know. Just in case the person you are meeting is early.”

Caleb shook his head cheerfully. “It is alright, I know it will be for 7:30. If anything, Mollymauk is more inclined to be late than early.” He rolled his eyes.

Essek nodded, his heart sinking. This was a reoccurring thing, then. He shook the feeling – good, this was good for Caleb. It meant things were going well. Better to stick to his plan, then, and squash his ridiculous hopes. He was here to gather as much information as possible so that he could be sure that Caleb was in good hands. “Will you, ah, be meeting with them here?”

Caleb’s eyes narrowed in confusion, then he burst into a warm laughter. “Do you tend to have your medical appointments in a shady backstreet, Essek?”

Essek’s eyes widened with surprise and he stammered. “Well, I – no, of course.” Then, dropping his defensiveness, he admitted: “I did not know it was a medical appointment.”

Caleb chuckled, still grinning, and nodded. “ Ja , it is a therapist’s appointment. Mollymauk is my therapist.” He narrowed his eyes at Essek, but this time, there was mischief in them. “What did you think I was going to do?”

Essek grimaced, now seeing the source of the confusion. He rolled his eyes and held out a defensive hand. “I thought you were going on a da –” and then proceeded to, Light forbid , inhale some of his own spit.

His eyes widened when he realized air could not go down to his lungs anymore and he was seized with a violent coughing fit. His vision narrowed and he bent forward, nearly hitting the wheel in the process.

It was an embarrassing few seconds before he could focus enough to notice Caleb’s hand on his back. He straightened his posture and croaked out an apology but was soon overcome with another coughing fit. When he emerged again, his eyes were blurred, and he could have sunken into the ground from shame. He blinked a few times and Caleb’s face was in front of him, concern showing through his teasing smirk.

“Are you okay, Essek?”

He nodded, unsure if his pride could take it if he tried to speak and choked again.

Caleb, oblivious to his inner conflict (or perhaps because of it), prodded at his reaction. “Well, I was not going on a date, Herr Thelyss, but if I had known that the prospect was going to cause you such emotion, believe me – I would have teased you about it sooner and in great detail.”

“Caleb,” Essek croaked, before dramatically dropping his forehead to the steering wheel.

He heard Caleb erupt in a low chuckle and felt a hand on his shoulder dragging him back up.

“I am teasing, Mein Freund . I will stop if you ask me to.”

Essek managed a miserable smile at his friend and Caleb gave him a bit more space to collect himself. A few seconds later, when he was starting to get his breath back and marveling at the ridiculousness of the whole situation, Caleb shifted in his seat. “You know, it is late, and I would not want to hold you here in these damp clothes – I can wait inside the building and you can go rest. You have earned it, I think,” Caleb added with a wink.

Before he could think on it, Essek reached out a hand, very nearly grabbing Caleb’s arm before catching himself and withdrawing in a poor attempt at maintaining his dignity. “Please, I would…” He cleared his throat. “I would enjoy the company. Though I am not… good conversation right now,” he gestured towards himself and grimaced a self-deprecating smile, his throat still sore and his voice raspy.

Caleb turned in his seat until he was facing Essek and made himself comfortable, crossing his legs. “Then perhaps I should do the talking. Tell me, Essek, is there anything you would like to know?”

Essek blinked and deliberately chose to ignore the tone Caleb had spoken in – it was teasing, perhaps also a little inviting. It bordered on... flirtatious?

He swallowed and took a deep breath before putting on what he hoped would be a charming smile. “You remember, a few weeks ago, you mentioned that your deepest interests lay elsewhere. Do you want to tell me about what those may be?”

Caleb’s eyes seemed to lose their glint of mischief, but his smile did not disappear. He nodded and ran his hand through his slowly drying hair once more.

“You are right, I have left things out from my CV.” He sighed. “My background is in biomedical science.”

Essek’s eyes widened in surprise. Caleb caught on his reaction and smirked. “ Ja , I know. People do not expect it, least of all now that I am working in accounting, I suppose.”

“No, Caleb – I can assuredly see you excelling in that field.” 

Caleb smiled at him, and Essek’s heart soared. Caleb’s expression then became thoughtful and he blinked slowly, as though to gather courage. “Essek, I would like to tell you about why I left the Empire.”

Essek nodded slowly. “Of course, Caleb. You can tell me anything.”

Caleb smiled once more, but this time, it was a sad little thing. “It is not a happy story.”

“I figured as much. Nevertheless, I do not think there is anything you could tell me that would make me think ill of you.”

Hearing this, Caleb seemed conflicted, but he stole a glance towards the building he had pointed at earlier – the building his therapist was currently in, Essek conjectured – and straightened his posture, his resolve toughened. “Well, no time like the present.” He laughed nervously and began. 

“I studied medicine at the Soltryce Academy, back in the Empire – though it was not for long, as my studies were –” he grimaced, “– interrupted before their end. I was at the point where I was beginning to explore specializations in hopes of finding one that suited me, and I thought perhaps psychiatry or experimental research would be what I would end up doing – though I was far from thinking about a career or a job back then.”

“Truth be told, I was only happy to be learning, and to savor the world of possibilities at my feet before having to settle and narrow my prospects down.” Caleb chuckled quietly. “It is ironic, then, that I was barely halfway through my second year of undergraduate studies when I started working in the field as an assistant researcher.”

Essek cocked his head. “I thought it would be the kind of field that would require more experience before you could get involved in research. But perhaps I get that impression because of... the fact that research can involve people.”

Caleb nodded. “It is true that undergrads do not usually work in research so soon. However, I was personally offered an opportunity to work closely with… a prominent researcher in the field of psychiatry. His name was Trent Ikithon, and he worked with Cerberus Education – it is a large organization back in the Empire, and its work ranges across several disciplines outside of ‘Education’ – their name is misleading.” He shook his head. “Regardless. Trent Ikithon taught an advanced class on psychopharmacology. From what I could understand, he took a liking to me during his class and wanted to… foster my interest in the field.”

Caleb’s eyes darkened. “At first, I was working on transcripts and methodology aspects, but I was quickly roped into the more elaborate parts of some of Ikithon’s projects. He had promised to supervise my thesis if I worked with him on some of his research – can you imagine, Essek? It was such an opportunity; I could not let it pass by.”

Essek nodded carefully, but the expression on Caleb’s face was woeful and pained as he related the story, and a pit was forming in Essek’s stomach. He was intelligent enough to extrapolate: Caleb was a young academic who was roped into something much bigger than himself, and now had fled because someone abused his eagerness. Academia was full of unfortunate stories such as his, and he had a sense of where this might be going.

Caleb continued: “He was very demanding, and I found myself perpetually attempting to please him so as not to lose his favor. He made me give him everything I had, alleging that it was the only way to progress in the field.”

“Soon enough, I was directly handling research interviews, which I did not have the training for. It should have been caught by an ethics committee, but it seemed that my old director’s projects had… managed to avoid such oversight.”

“Over time, I started closing in on myself. I all but lost contact with my family, and my two parents, who had always been so kind and encouraging, began to worry about me. I pushed them away and stopped seeing them, because my old teacher was worried that –” Caleb laughed, and it was empty and bitter, “– their lack of ambition would only serve to hold me back. I did not see them over the summer or Winter’s Eve anymore, and I began to ignore their letters.”

“All of a sudden, during my third year of undergraduate studies, my old mentor explained that we were going to begin a new groundbreaking study. I did not question it: I was too involved with him to doubt him, and if something tipped me off, I was far too happy to ignore it. That is not something I am proud of.”

“In retrospect, it should have been obvious. My old teacher spoke ill of the ethics committee’s work, and would tell us that we would accomplish nothing if we were not willing to take risks. It just pains me that it took me so long to realize that he was making others – vulnerable people – take these risks and taking none of them himself.”

“I had not returned to my parents’ for three years when I received word that my mother was ill. We were deep into the study at that time. We had finished preliminary interviews and were about to begin the experimentation process. It involved –” Caleb became quiet, and his throat bobbed as he swallowed anxiously. “It involved... ” Caleb’s voice choked, and, staring at the arm of Essek’s seat, he became very quiet.

Essek leaned towards Caleb. “Caleb. Are you with me?”

Caleb’s eyes met Essek’s, but they were still unfocused.

“Caleb, you don’t need to tell me the details. I understand that this study was unethical – but you have to remember you were under the direction of your old teacher. He is responsible for what happened, not you.”

Caleb let out a wry laugh. “You have not seen me carry out the study. I was a willing enforcer.”

Essek shook his head but decided to redirect Caleb’s attention instead of pressing on the matter. It was likely something that Caleb would need to remind himself of all his life. “You are here now, and that’s what matters. What made you leave?”

“I found out that a woman died.”

Essek’s eyebrows rose, and his lips tightened into a commiserating grimace. He paused, not so much from shock – he was not sure what he had expected, but this was not too far-off from it – but mostly for Caleb’s sake. The redhead’s visage was a flurry of expressions: regret, nausea, and, as he looked up towards Essek, the other emotions seemed to cede the way to worry. Caleb’s blue eyes blinked twice, slowly, as he took in Essek’s reaction, and then he continued.

“She had…” he sighed. “It was deeply unethical, Essek. It made so much sense on paper, in neutral, clinical terms, but… when I started working directly with the population… ” he avoided Essek’s gaze.

Caleb shifted into his seat and glanced at the radio clock. They had some time left, but surely, Essek thought, it was a good thing for Caleb to unpack this discussion with his therapist right after.

Caleb launched into the rest of his story. “My mother is dead, too, now.” If Essek was surprised at the swift change of subject, he did not let it show. Caleb explained: “Bone cancer. I have not gone back.” 

He shook his head and continued. “I know what I did was wrong. I should have been there for her, and... I should have said something when I realized things were wrong with the study. Essek, I should have signaled the study’s ethical flaws to the committee – but it had been approved! The Ethics committee of Soltryce had issued an approval, I have seen it with my own eyes in the study’s documentation.” Caleb waved his finger passionately. “There is corruption in that system, Essek - and when I found out that the woman had died , I could not...” Caleb inhaled sharply, getting carried away once more.

“It was not just that, too: the woman’s death was just the beginning of my forming a conscience. I started asking questions. The study’s methodology made it seem as though the participants were willing, but their consent was–” at that, Caleb laughed, but it was hollow and revulsed, and he shook his head before continuing. “It was not freely given.”

“The more I dug into the files with this renewed perspective, the more what I found went against everything we were taught in our ethics courses – but by the time I was in those classes, my new director had already wormed his way into my mind, dismissing my critical thinking and mining my self-confidence, then praising me when it suited his objectives. He was a smart fellow – I can see his game, now. He would take on a pupil, make them feel like the world revolved around them, ensure their loyalty, and then use them as pawns.” Caleb shook his head, a bitter twist to his lips. 

“I tried speaking with my old director about it, explaining my worries. It seemed to tip him off to something, and he threatened to retaliate if I ever spoke about it to anyone.” Caleb frowned and shut his eyes tightly. “I was a coward, Essek. Everything became too big for me, and I ran like a hare.”

Essek was silent until Caleb’s voice had died down, his throat dry and tight. Was it so bad that, out of the things he had been told, it was Caleb’s distress that made his heart clench, and not the objectively horrible tale of institutional abuse? He tightened his lips into a pained line. “I can understand why you did not oust Ikithon right away, Caleb.”

Caleb sneered. “How can you? How can I still be sitting in here with you, and not out there, barging in to tell the ethics committee myself, or bringing this into court?”

Essek closed his eyes and sighed, shaking his head softly. “I know you feel guilty, but you should never have been working on this study in the first place. There is a reason why this kind of study should involve older, more experienced researchers that have perspective and maturity. These are things you learn in school and during your internships, and they are essential to your critical thinking skills. This… Ikithon, he must have known about this weakness and used it for his own gain.” Essek lips tightened into a grimace. “Besides, you had to protect yourself.”

Caleb huffed and dropped his gaze to the space between them, and Essek lowered his posture so as to remain in his friend’s field of vision and keep eye contact. “It was manipulation for nefarious purposes, Caleb, and while I can imagine the guilt that you feel and how you wish to go back and fix the situation, you need to be your own priority. I doubt –” he hesitated for a second before continuing. “– I doubt you are in a place where you can single handedly fight a corrupt ethics committee as well as your old manipulative mentor. Especially since you still seem to be taking the blame for the death of this woman.”

“Not just this woman, Essek. Others could have died in the meantime, and… my parents, too, as a result of my neglect.”

Hearing this, Essek gently grabbed Caleb’s chin and leaned closer. “You are mixing things up. These things are not related, least of all by yourself. You overestimate the impact you have on the world, Caleb Widogast.”

Caleb stilled in his hand, and a cold wave of dread washed over Essek – surely, this had been a gross misstep – but right as he was preparing to lean back and out of Caleb’s space, something seemed to melt in Caleb’s posture. He breathed deeply and let the weight of his head rest in Essek’s hand. Finding himself with a handful of Caleb, Essek tensed, unsure of what to say.

He remained quiet in his confusion, and Caleb was the first to speak, gently tilting his head into Essek until his dark hand was cupping his cheek. “You know, in another circumstance, that might have sounded like an insult… but I know what you meant, Essek, and, as always, you are absolutely right.” He sighed, leaning back out of Essek’s hand to straighten his posture.

Essek had been clutching in the palm of his hand the single most precious thing in the universe – like a small, warm animal to cherish – and all of a sudden, his hand burned with the absence of contact. For all of the anxiety and uncertainty that this closeness had brought to him, he found himself wanting more. The words escaped him naturally, as though their veiled meanings and hidden depths would not terrify either of them: “It is true, Caleb. Your impact on the world is only as much as a single person can have. But then, you must not underestimate the impact you have had on me.”

The phrase left his mouth and lay between them peacefully, like an offering. Caleb’s eyes softly stared into his and they shared a fleeting moment of understanding – until the full weight of what he had said came crashing down on Essek.

Involuntarily, he leaned back a few inches and stiffened, his eyes wide and panicked. Willing his mouth shut before he could say more wildly inappropriate things, he tried to push away from his mind the various events of the night – their hands on the shared umbrella, the mirth of running together under the rain, the relief he’d felt when Caleb had revealed his plans for the night, the trust he had received from Caleb as he had shared his difficult past, the soft, warm weight of Caleb’s cheek in his hand, and the vibrant blue of his irises piercing into him…

He could not – it was inappropriate. Caleb was his employee – not… directly, but… enough that it…

“Essek?”

His mind snapped back to the present, which he found himself still ill-equipped to handle. His attention darted to Caleb and away, in search of anything to divert the subject. The soft blue glow of the radio clock caught his eye and he clutched onto it like a lifeline.

“I apologize, I believe… your appointment – mm?” he swallowed thickly, nearly avoiding choking again, as his throat closed up on itself and he felt panic rise.

“Essek, are you okay?”

“Yes, yes, of course,” he retorted, returning the blow with an incrimination of his own, “I should be the one asking you that.”

Caleb’s lips stretched into a tentative smile and his head cocked to the right. “I believe both questions are not mutually exclusive. Besides, you seem…”

Essek cut him off before he could prod any further. “I really apologize, I don’t want you to be late, Caleb, this appointment is important for you and we are –”

“I do not mind, Essek. It is 7:26, we still have some time,” Caleb responded without a single glance at the clock. He reached out for Essek’s forearm, and purely out of preservation instinct, Essek pulled away from Caleb’s reach. 

Something faltered in Caleb’s eyes, and he brought his hand to rub at the nape of his neck. “We do not have to speak about…”

Please, don’t put words onto it, please. A choked sound came from Essek’s throat, completely unbidden, and if Caleb hadn’t seemed worried before then, he certainly looked like it now. Caleb did not continue his sentence, but did insist. “I would just like to make sure that… you are okay?”

Essek nodded vigorously, knowing very well that he was fooling no one. “I am very well. This is not about me.”

Caleb shook his head and a wry, mournful scowl crept onto his features. “I am sorry, Essek. I do not want to cause you any discomfort…”

Essek shook his head. “No discomfort. Perhaps we can…” He waved nervously at nothing, trying to express his issue without putting words onto it. “This last part of our conversation – perhaps we can set it aside and forget it happened?”

To his credit, Caleb’s reaction was minimal and rather professional, unlike Essek’s. He straightened his posture and gave a curt nod. “Of course, Essek. I understand.”

Essek tried to school his expression but the result was more of a grimace than anything else. He still managed to mirror Caleb’s nod and posture.

“Essek, I –” Caleb’s face lost some of its neutrality and his eyes flashed with concern once more. Despite himself, the expression of Caleb’s care and kindness washed over him and released some of his anxiety. “– I am not uncomfortable, Essek, and we will not speak about it again if you do not wish to do so. You are my friend, and that is more important to me than anything else. I hope we can…” Caleb’s attention darted between Essek’s eyes and his brow knit into a frown once more, before he seemed to find what he wanted to express. “I want nothing to change. Ja ?”

Essek managed a nod.

Caleb remained silent, giving time for Essek to react or speak, but when it was clear that he would not, he gave another nod – less formal, this time – and sighed.

“I do have to go,” he apologized. 

“Of course. Please, do not be late on my behalf.”

Caleb smiled softly, as though he might be afraid to misstep. “Thank you, friend.”

Essek latched onto that last word as Caleb made his way out of the car. The rain was still pouring, and Caleb was nearly instantly soaked all over again. He made a movement to close the door.

“Caleb, wait.” Essek twisted himself until he could reach into the back seat of his car, grabbing the humid, frilly, vibrantly pink emergency umbrella. “Here.”

The grin on Caleb’s face warmed Essek as if the sun had pierced through the clouds. A wave of familiar joy washed over him at seeing Caleb’s eyes crinkle. His friend opened the umbrella and waved at him before reaching for the car door.

“Take care,” Essek managed to say, before the door was shut and Caleb waved one last time as he walked towards the building’s entrance.

Essek watched him leave, half-present and half-lost in thought. He remained in the car long after Caleb was gone, and after staring at the door of the building for far too long, he shook his head slowly and leaned forward, resting his cheek on the car’s steering wheel.

“I cannot be in love with Caleb Widogast.”

The words, uttered out loud, were true, but his assurance was wavering, and they hurt his throat to say. Besides, he knew the sentence only served to mask another awakening, more painful, yet distressingly enticing.

I am in love with Caleb Widogast.

Chapter Text

Essek had been avoiding Caleb.

Not on purpose, of course. Simply… his survival instinct had kicked in, and he was now limiting his time with Caleb: after all, he did not want his infatuation to show. For that was all it was – an infatuation, right? The alternative was painful, and so he protected himself by spending less time with the object of his affections.

They would still exchange messages throughout the day, but less than they did before that fateful evening in the car. The memory of that shared conversation was burned in Essek’s memory, and he now avoided looking at Caleb’s seat when he drove. Still, once in awhile, his eyes glazed over the water stains that he had not yet wiped off from the leather seats, and he found himself yearning – and berating himself for it.

And so Essek stopped coming into work early, vaguely explaining it away to Caleb with claims of not sleeping very well these days. He had picked this explanation in part because it was true, and in part because he thought it did not warrant any further explanation – but Caleb’s brow had furrowed when he had told him, and he had seemed concerned about Essek. He had tried not to let it warm his heart too much when Caleb had asked how he had slept the next morning.

Three days had passed since Caleb’s therapist appointment, and Essek could not imagine this getting any easier. Caleb would still message him every morning, and his first reflex was still to answer promptly and without any of the barriers he so badly needed to reconstruct.

A simple Hallo Essek. Bring a scarf; it is cool outside this morning before he left for work would normally have been answered right away with a thanks and a word of attention of his own – yet now, he would dig into the depths of his professional brain to try and find a detached but grateful answer to such a kind, personalized attention. Often, he found no response that was good enough, and so several messages had remained unanswered, even though he could not stop opening their private chat and re-reading them.

He was a fool, and this mess was of his own doing.

This morning, Caleb had wished him a good morning, and followed with a bit of news of his own. I have an interview today , his message read. HR will see me about the position I told you about .

Essek mulled over the message while getting into his car. Surely, he could not let that message go unanswered. Good luck, Caleb. I am sure you will do great .

After a moment, he sent another message that read: They will be lucky to have you . Then, he realized how else his message could be read and rushed to delete it. Caleb might have seen it already, but that did not mean they had to acknowledge it.

Once the message was gone, Essek stared at his phone screen for a little while longer, his heart beating faster than before, until Caleb responded with a professional Thank you, friend. I will keep you updated .

With a miserable sigh, Essek wiped his hands on his face and started the car, making his way through busy streets in the direction of their workplace.

When he arrived, he purposefully avoided the corridor that would lead him past the accounting office – he would have loved to see Caleb in formal wear for his interview, and that was precisely the reason why he would go out of his way to avoid him today.

A wave of guilt washed over him: he probably should be supporting his friend today, and not avoiding him. When he reached his desk and opened his computer, he went straight to their private chat to write an encouragement for Caleb, then re-read their previous interactions and realized how repetitive it might be. He ended up closing the chat once more, deciding it would sound too obsessed.

A familiar ping! came from the chat and he reopened it eagerly, only to realize it had not come from Caleb, but from Beauregard.

Beauregard: Hey dude, Caleb’s got something over lunch. Wanna go to Caddy’s with me?

Beauregard: We gotta make it quick tho cause I have meetings this afternoon

Essek sighed and berated himself for his hopeful reaction. Who was he to hope for more messages from Caleb, when he was the one refusing to write to him? He typed a response to Beauregard, accepting her invitation. Perhaps she could give him news from Caleb’s interview.

Or , he reproachfully thought to himself, you can ask about how she’s doing. She is your friend too. He really was single-minded these days. With a sigh, he set himself up for a day of uninteresting work.

Several times during the morning, his fingers itched to write to Caleb; thrice, he found that he had opened their chat without even meaning to. It was only by the end of the morning that he gathered the courage to send another message to Caleb: Do you know when your interview is ?

Caleb responded rather quickly, he was pleased to notice – but then, that was a bad thing, he reminded himself. He schooled away the warm glow that had been rising in his chest and read Caleb’s messages as they came in.

Caleb: No, they did not confirm a time for me. Bodo Icozrin, from HR, said he would call me.

Caleb: I did not get many details. It was expeditive.

Caleb: I assume they will see me today though, because I know Beauregard has all day booked for interviews.

Essek frowned: of the few people responsible for HR, he had come to know Bodo as a sloppy employee, unable to assume difficult decisions as his position required of him. This assessment mostly came from Beauregard’s experiences, shared with him over several occasions. The man did not seem particularly prejudiced, merely gauche and unconvincing, but despite that, something felt off with Essek.

He was staring at his screen, wondering how to express all of that without seeming too involved, when Caleb sent three other messages.

Caleb: I will be having a quick lunch in the kitchen today.

Caleb: Feel free to join.

Caleb: Though it is less pleasant than Caduceus’s.

Essek fought back a fond smile. He would have lunch with Caleb in a cupboard if he asked – but, well, not anymore. He typed a response and reworked it several times before sending it.

Essek: I am booked today, unfortunately. However, I hope Bodo keeps you updated, and you do not have to wait too long. Don’t hesitate to ask him for more information.

Caleb responded a few minutes later.

Caleb: He is interviewing people all day – but that is okay. I do not have any meetings today, so I will be available whenever he calls me.

Essek tore himself from the chat again only to see that it was about time for him to meet with Beauregard. He took the opportunity to avoid thinking about whether or not he should send another message to Caleb, grabbed his phone and wallet and made his way straight to Melora’s Grove.

Beauregard met him there, not even searching for him before she found him at their usual table. She made her way towards him, wiping some sweat from her brow and seeming to bask for a second in the cool air from the air conditioning unit above the door.

“Man, what a day,” Beauregard blurted out as she dragged her chair out and practically crumpled on it.

“I can only imagine,” he responded, curious despite himself. “Interviews?”

“Yeah,” she leaned forward, before changing the subject. “Dude, are you gonna have soup today too? It’s so fucking hot outside.”

Essek quirked his eyebrow. “Well, it’s a good thing there’s air conditioning, isn’t it?”

She rolled her eyes and scanned the menu. “You’re so weird for having the same thing every time. I’d get tired eventually.”

Essek shrugged. “Yes, I know, I am aware of your short attention span.”

She shot him a nasty look and rose to get their orders. Frankly, spending time alone with Beauregard had been a rare occurrence lately, and Essek was very much enjoying the banter and the comfortable dynamic they shared. It put a balm on his heart.

She came back with a plate of noodles for herself, and a bowl of soup for himself. Truth be told, Caduceus’s miso was simply delicious, and Essek was not sure he would ever get bored of it.

“So,” he began once Beauregard was a few bites in. “How are the interviews going?”

She held her hand up, finished her bite, and knocked on the table in frustration. “Full of incompetents. I don’t have a good feeling about anyone I’ve seen. But then,” she rolled her eyes and huffed, “I’m used to working with Caleb, so I guess I’m spoiled. You get that with Adeen too, I’m sure, now that you’re Caleb-less.” Essek leaned his head in agreement, before she continued. “Can we talk about something else? Literally all of my day has been interviews, interviews...”

“Of course.” Essek took the hint: she probably wasn’t supposed to speak about interviews anyway – not before a hiring decision was made.

Instead, he told her a bit about his own problems. Nothing about Caleb, of course, but they spoke about Adeen, about Fjord’s upcoming vacation… he even told her about his mother’s Light’s Eve celebration and the formal invitation he’d received, making her snort in disbelief.

Their lunch was short, and soon, Beauregard was off again for another afternoon of interviews. Essek still had some time left to ponder their conversation and stayed behind to finish his soup at a leisurely pace. She had skirted around the subject of the interviews, though they were usually open about most things together. He could only respect her professionalism, though for some reason, something about it felt wrong.

But then, Beauregard loved Caleb and would always look out for his best interests, so he quelled the voice inside his mind and made his way back to work, taking the long way to his office once more in hopes of avoiding Caleb.

He spent the rest of the day focusing as best he could on his work, but as the afternoon progressed, he found himself thinking a lot about Caleb. It took all of his willpower to refrain from messaging him and asking how things had gone. Caleb had told him he would keep him updated: therefore, he would message Essek whenever he felt like it.

When the day began to end and people started finishing up their work and heading home, he succumbed to his nerves and, putting his moral qualms aside for a moment, decided to go check up on Caleb. His footsteps brought him past the accounting office, in which he heard some noise. Turning, he saw Beauregard was alone inside, shuffling her things around. She had not noticed him yet, but she seemed pleased.

Ah, so that was good news, then. Caleb had been interviewed, and if Beauregard was happy, then it could only mean good things.

He peeked around the corner, still unwilling to face Caleb fully if he could avoid it. However, what he saw disconcerted him. The human was at his old desk, leaning on his forearm, looking absolutely dejected. There was no desperation or frustration in his features; he just seemed sullen and tired.

Essek ducked back and frowned to himself. But Beauregard was happy – what, then? How could it be?

Unwilling to confront Caleb, he entered the accounting office instead and closed the door behind him.

“Beauregard,” he murmured, announcing his presence. She spun around towards him, and the look on her face was gleeful.

“Oh, man, Essek. Forget everything I told you about over lunch. Things worked out all right, they really did!” She playfully punched her fist in her opened hand.

“So I take it HR and Bilan didn’t give him any problems?” Essek asked, hopeful.

Beauregard’s cheer froze and she stared at him in confusion. “What are you talking about? I’m talking about the new accounting hire!” She looked at the ceiling as though speaking directly to the heavens. “Essek, she’s incredible, just like… she could bench press me if she tried, and she seems so nice and competent –”

Essek’s stomach dropped. “You mean you didn’t hire Caleb.”

Beauregard’s jaw fell slack and her eyes went wide. They shared a beat of silence. “But - but Caleb didn’t apply, though,” she explained defensively.

Essek’s lips tightened into a thin line. “He did. Perhaps if you had asked him about his day, you would know.” It might be hypocritical of him, he knew, but he needed an outlet for his anger right now and Beauregard was a convenient one.

Her mouth still hung open and her eyes were moving fast, as though processing several previous interactions at once. “But we didn’t even... interview him!”

“I can see that.” He glared at Beauregard, mulling over a thousand scathing teardowns, but in the end, he realized these biting remarks were mostly aimed at himself. He deflated just as Beauregard’s anger began to grow.

“Those motherfuckers… those assholes . They didn’t tell me. Bodo just completely skipped over that. They just – he applied ? He applied and they just –” she wiped her hair out of her face, before gesturing at the door in fury. “I thought Caleb had given up. I didn’t blame him. I wasn’t going to press! Why didn’t he tell me about it?”

Essek leaned morosely on Mirimm’s empty desk. “I assume he did not want to look for favoritism,” he muttered. “He told me, but I had assumed you knew.”

She stopped. “But then – they’ve told him, now? Bodo let him know that his application had been –” she made a rudely dismissive gesture in the air, “ignored? Refused? Whatever it was?”

Essek rubbed his eyes, aggravated. “Last I knew, he was still waiting.”

Beauregard froze and narrowed her eyes at him. “When.”

“Just now,” he answered under Beauregard’s piercing glaze.

She slammed her fist on the table and tossed her bag on her chair. “I’m gonna have a few choice words with Bodo. What kind of HR just… ok, you know what? I’m gonna go talk to the jerk, and you go talk to Caleb.”

Essek winced at that, and though he tried to hide it, Beauregard’s perceptive glare was enough to notice. “Look, man, I know you two have a thing going on –” Essek’s eyes widened and he held both hands out defensively, but Beauregard continued with insistence, “but this little discomfort is worth it. You two need to talk it out, if it’s what I think it is – and anyway, he needs your support now. You’re his friend, don’t you dare start putting up barriers now.”

Essek grimaced, then sighed and closed his eyes tightly. When he reopened them, Beauregard was striding towards the door, headed straight for Bodo’s office.

Of course. Bodo, ever non-confrontational and cowardly, would have found it easier to accept Caleb’s application and then just put off refusing him rather than tell him right away that they would not consider him. 

But then, why not at least keep Caleb updated? Cruelty? He shook his head, jaw clenching. In this case, it was most likely just Bodo's trademark sloppiness. The result, though, was cruel, and his heart ached for the chance Caleb had not been allowed to have.

He did not go towards Caleb right away, feeling too on edge. He needed to plan, needed to build barriers that would allow him to – to what? To offer support to his colleague, without… putting his own vulnerability on the line and making Caleb uncomfortable. No, of course – that was the last thing his friend needed.

He walked briskly towards his own office, cursing the lack of privacy that came with its glass door. There, he sat at his desk and fiddled nervously with their private chat, re-reading their last interactions and swallowing thickly, knowing that the cold, detached tone of his messages would be very difficult to match if he were to explain things to Caleb in person.

But then, Beauregard had been very clear that he was to talk to Caleb. Far be it from him to get on her bad side, and deep down, he knew she was right – he just didn’t think it was in their best interests for this conversation to be handled by him.

He tossed and turned the situation in his head, contemplating just sending Caleb a message – but in the end, he knew Beauregard was right. He breathed deeply and began to make his way towards Caleb’s desk.

When he reached it, Caleb was gone. He spun his head around left and right, as though Caleb might be hidden into one of the adjacent cubicles – but no, of course, Caleb had left. Essek had missed his chance. He leaned on the wall, ready to wallow in guit, before getting roughly shoved in the shoulder by a passing Beauregard. Bag in hand, ready to leave, she thrust her finger into his chest and poked him harder than strictly necessary.

“He’s in Bodo’s office, should be out in a few.” She let her finger linger menacingly on his chest. “Be. There.”

Essek nodded and swallowed thickly, his jacket suddenly warm on his shoulders.

Beauregard spun back towards the exit and was gone as soon as she was there.

Essek took the threatening order seriously, and though he did not want to assault Caleb right as he came out, he remained as inconspicuously close as he could, hoping to see Caleb come out of Bodo’s office.

Eventually, out of the corner of his eye, he saw the door open and Caleb come out. His back was rigid and proud, but his movements were stiff and Essek knew he must have been affected by the meeting. Essek counted two minutes before rising and making his way towards Caleb’s desk.

When he arrived, Caleb was gone already. Muttering a curse under his breath, Essek went to his office and grabbed his bag, striding towards the elevator as fast as his leg would let him, hoping to reach Caleb in time. While he was waiting, he fiddled with his phone and sent out a short message to Caleb.

Essek: Beauregard told me. I’m sorry. Can I offer you a lift tonight?

Then, his artificial aloofness be damned, he began typing another message. He wrote I would like to speak with you, but then deleted it because of how vague it was.

The elevator dinged and he entered briskly, pressing the button several times in frustration to make it go faster. He then tried another message: I know I have been distant lately, but I don’t wish to continue. He deleted that one as well.

In the end, Caleb’s reply came before Essek deemed a message good enough to send.

Caleb: I am in the bathroom. I can meet you in your office in just a minute.

Essek sighed, relief mixing with frustration as the elevator dinged and the doors slowly opened, revealing the ground floor.

He wrote: I thought you had left. I am downstairs. Do you want me to meet you upstairs still?

Caleb’s response came right away: I’ll just meet you downstairs. Give me a minute .

Essek kept himself from pacing nervously around the lobby, his leg throbbing from his earlier rush. What would he say first? What kind of apology would Caleb expect? How could he say anything that he wanted to say without pouring his heart out?

Caleb came striding down the stairs, his bag loosely flung over his shoulder and his tie loose around his neck, revealing that the dress shirt’s top few buttons had been undone. His eyes spotted Essek and he nodded at him without a word. When he reached Essek, Caleb simply tilted his head towards the outside and muttered: “Shall we?”

Essek acquiesced, then winced as he tried to match Caleb’s pace. His leg was painful and making it more difficult for him to follow, but he did so as best he could, observing his friend for a hint at how he should respond.

Caleb’s shoulders were slumped and his jaw was clenched stiffly. He kept his eyes down, occasionally darting them around to spot for cars as he traversed the street recklessly in its middle. Essek tried matching his long strides – Caleb was taller, so it was already difficult before adding the fact that his leg was radiating with pain.

Essek began to fall behind when Caleb reached the other side of the street, and it was as he squeezed his way between parked cars that Caleb seemed to suddenly realize Essek was not at his side.

He glanced back at Essek and his glum expression turned apologetic. “Oh, I am walking too fast, aren’t I?” He opened his mouth to say something else, but Essek cut him.

“Don’t worry about it. I can follow,” he snapped, frustrated at his inability to keep pace.

Caleb just frowned and shook his head, “Nein, friend. I do not want you to hurt on my behalf. I apologize for not thinking about it.” Caleb loosened his tie some more before gesturing at the building. “You know. I am just… eager to be gone from this place.”

Essek’s irritation evaporated. “Are you…”

Caleb chuckled, but it was mirthless. “No, that would be a rash decision. I am not quitting, not tonight. Though,” he said, as he began walking slowly, “they are pushing my limits.”

Essek nodded and resumed walking next to Caleb, the pace much more manageable now. “You are perfectly justified in your indignation; I hope you know it.”

Caleb merely shrugged.

“So, Beauregard told you about it? When?”

Essek swallowed. “Ah, we… I came to see her, to ask news about your interview. She told me that you had not been interviewed at all.”

They turned the corner and entered the parking garage. Essek continued: “She wasn’t aware that you had applied. She was livid when she found out that they had kept it from her. She immediately went to have a few choice words with Bodo, and I suppose you met with him soon afterwards.” He grimaced as pain shot up his leg. “I am sorry, Caleb. It was a terribly unprofessional way to treat an applicant, and if Bodo didn’t formally apologize – which I assume he hasn’t – then I would like to do so.”

Caleb remained silent, staring ahead as they walked in the parking garage, their footsteps echoing on the cement. His jaw seemed to relax, and his pace slowed down as well – as though his earlier stiffness had melted into thoughtfulness. Suddenly, he stopped and stared at Essek, his eyes searching.

“Why did you go speak to Beauregard?”

Essek stopped as well, wincing at the pressure on his leg. “To ask her news about your interview,” he repeated, unsure why Caleb was asking him to say it again.

“No, I mean –” Caleb sighed. “Why have you been avoiding me?”

Essek tensed and felt a muscle twitch in his thigh. He withheld Caleb’s gaze for a moment, before the pain pulled a grimace out of his carefully constructed façade.

“I am sorry, I –” Essek pointed at his leg and Caleb glanced down, then met his eyes again, understanding. “Can we have this conversation sitting down?”

Caleb nodded and they walked slowly, in silence, until they reached his car. He lowered himself in the driver’s seat, before seeing Caleb fiddle with the door handle, wearing a puzzled frown.

He leaned over and pressed a button to open the door for him and fought down a fond smile when he saw Caleb’s perplexity turn into recognition.

“The handle is –” Essek began, only to have Caleb finish his sentence.

“– receded, yes. I seem to keep forgetting.” Caleb smiled as he lowered himself in his seat. Once the door was closed and they were alone in the car, Caleb let out a sigh.

Ah, yes – he had a question to answer, didn’t he. Essek inhaled deeply before turning towards Caleb.

He schooled his expression. “Caleb – I have to apologize. I should not have avoided you as I have been, it was…” he grimaced, “unprofessional.”

Caleb stared at him and shook his head. “Essek,” he began, and there was a tinge of exasperation on his features. “I don’t care about professionalism when we are alone. I just care about spending time with the real you. And these days,” he extended a hand to designate Essek, “I have not gotten any of it. And I miss it.”

Essek exhaled quietly, taken aback by the admission.

Caleb continued. “I had a shit day today. My expectations were crushed, and I had to sit with Bodo and hear him give me an 8-minute rundown of how unqualified he thinks I am for the job, and him justifying how perfectly reasonable it had been to let me wait all day instead of just telling me outright that I was not going to be considered for the position.” Caleb then faced forward again, shoulders slumping, and rested his elbow against the window, leaning his cheek into his hand. “So, today was a shit day, and yet somehow, I am fine now. I do not even want to leave this job.” Caleb wiped a pale hand over his face, rubbing his eyes so that when he turned back to Essek, they were slightly reddened. For all the exhaustion plainly written on his features, Essek was struck by the sheer amount of openness in his expression.

Caleb continued, facing him and staring at him intensely. “I am fine, and I am happy, because I am spending time with you,” he admitted, and the admission lay between them for a few seconds. Essek’s heart quickened.

Caleb waved his hand in Essek’s direction. “Whatever you think you have done wrong, you have not; I can find no fault in what you have said. My only reproach is that three days ago, after a pleasant evening together, you just… disappeared into thin air.”

Essek stared mutely, taking in Caleb’s explanation.

Caleb leaned forward towards him. “Did I not say that I wanted nothing to change?”

Essek sucked a breath in and looked away. 

Caleb insisted. “You have been nothing but professional. No boundaries were crossed. I am even unsure of what you blame yourself for.”

Essek’s head spun back towards him, this time defensive – was Caleb really trying to make him say it out loud? 

When their eyes met, though, Essek could only read genuine incomprehension in Caleb’s eyes.

He stopped and thought about the other night: his words had been ambiguous, maybe even enough that Caleb had not caught onto Essek’s exact meaning. This meant that Caleb might not have seen Essek’s declaration as romantic. Hope swelled in Essek’s chest.

He nodded to himself slowly, then more assuredly, leaning fully into this new deflection. “I suppose… I am not used to keeping friendships even outside of work.” 

He read nothing but openness in Caleb’s face, and internally sighed with relief. It’s working . “Jester has tried to drag me to events before, but I tend to avoid them, and so I have no friends outside of our little group,” he explained, hoping that his accent on ‘friendship’ might have cleared any doubt on what he was trying to convey. “I am unsure of what is appropriate and what is not.”

Caleb smiled sadly. “Then just ask. I will tell you.”

Essek’s heart pounded in his ears. Could this be resolved, then, just like that?

“I will,” he acquiesced, and a weight seemed to lift off of his shoulders.

Caleb nodded, seemingly pleased. “Now, Essek. I have only just gotten you back, and I know it has only been a few days since we last spent time together. But…” he rubbed his hand over his face and stared ahead of them. “I need a distraction after today.” He threw Essek a sidelong glance, and his voice was hesitant when he continued. “I don’t suppose you would be up for having supper with me tonight?”

Something clenched in Essek’s chest, but he remembered Caleb’s words. This was just friendship – Caleb had never thought it to be anything else.

And he was a weak, weak man. Who was he to say no to Caleb Widogast?

He turned the ignition key and twisted his torso to look in the rear window of the car, but stopped halfway to mirror Caleb’s playful expression back at him. He found himself slipping back into their usual ease as though it had never left them – and if a small voice remained at the back of his mind, telling him that he was flying too close to the sun, he pushed it aside and ignored it in favor of flashing Caleb a pleased smile.

“Where to, then?”

Chapter Text

“Where to, then?” Essek had replied, flashing Caleb a grin.

Caleb’s heart slowed down and his shoulders relaxed with Essek’s response. Truth be told, it had taken all of his willpower to not exhale in relief. 

He knew that he and Essek might still be tiptoeing around each other for a little while, but then, Caleb himself had never been a prudent man either. Besides, he was loath to leave Essek's side after barely seeing him around in the past three days.

“Well, it depends,” Caleb stalled, unsure of what to suggest. Nothing remotely romantic, if only for the way Essek had rejected his flirting a few days prior, under their shared umbrella. He shook the disappointment away and focused on the present. “What do you like?”

Essek shrugged as he maneuvered the car out of the parking garage, his focus on the road around them. “You know what I like. I always eat the same thing. I am not really the adventurous type. Soups, stews, comfort food in general. But what are you feeling like eating?”

Caleb clasped his hands. “Oh, ja, I know. There is a bakery close to home, and it serves a small variety of simple foods – but the flavors are incredible, and I think it will be right up your alley.”

He rubbed his hands together in excitement and directed Essek towards the bakery. They drove in companionable silence, simply enjoying each other’s company, and they were only interrupted briefly whenever Caleb would give Essek directions.

Caleb’s mind, of course, was everything but quiet. Ever since the last time they had shared this car, Essek had been distant and withdrawn. The explanation Essek had given - of being tired and not sleeping well - was valid, but Caleb suspected that there had been something else.

Essek had gotten deeply uncomfortable after their last heart-to-heart: that must have meant that he had no interest in getting closer to Caleb. But then, he had always seemed to enjoy being called ‘friend’, so friendship was not off the table, was it?

Caleb would be happy to remain friends if Essek had no interest in anything further. Friendship is enough. What more could I even want? His mind argued, and his lips tightened into a thin line. This was further than he had ever thought, and he was too exhausted to examine the question any further.

He had to admit, though, that he was getting mixed signals on Essek's interests these days. The long stares, the brush of their fingertips on the same elevator button, the long hours spent discussing and improving on a project together... 

Thankfully, there might be more of the last element in the future, he thought, and the idea relieved him of some of the tension and worry he had been carrying lately.

The newfound comfort gave him confidence. “You know, Essek, I think that… as disappointed as I am with the way it was handled, perhaps I am not too disappointed about this whole accounting thing being over soon.”

Essek glanced at him, then the road, then at him again. “Why? You were doing great. Beauregard loved working with you.” His eyes flicked back at the road.

Caleb stared ahead too. “Well, that means I might get to work with you again. If you will have me.”

There was a beat of silence during which Caleb kept his eyes in front of himself, not wanting to add any pressure on Essek.

Eventually, Essek replied quietly, his voice a near-whisper. “Don’t imply such things. Of course I would have you.”

Caleb tried not to revel in the warm glow that filled his chest. He hoped that Essek would warn him before withdrawing if he struck another nerve, but for now, he was happily drinking in any closeness the other man would give him.

Though, thinking back, Caleb had begun to notice a pattern in Essek's reactions. He had never seemed uncomfortable with what Caleb had ever said or done – sometimes, Caleb had even acted overtly flirtatious and Essek had taken it gracefully. It seemed that Essek drew the line at expressing affection himself.

That was an interesting observation, and he turned it in his head a few times as though examining a new object.  He wondered why Essek was so guarded when it came to expressing affection, yet he always seemed to readily accept any closeness Caleb gave him.

Stealing a glance at the drow in the driver’s seat, he noticed the tips of his ears were slightly dark – was he blushing? Caleb remembered the last words Essek had said before turning silent: Of course I would have you. Frowning, Caleb tucked the phrase in his mind, noting how it aligned with his other observations. Maybe he would need to ask Essek, eventually, where his... interests lay. 

He shook himself from that train of thought. This thing between them was still fragile, and today was not the day to be testing boundaries with overt flirting. He was just glad to have his friend back, and that would have to do for now.

“Turn right in two blocks,” Caleb pointed forward and stole another glance at his friend. Essek was an attractive person, all poise and grace and delicate, long ears. Caleb would be lying if he said that he had not been instantly drawn to him.

But this new Essek that Caleb had uncovered over the past few months? This Essek was soft, kind, snarky and fun to be around. He worried about his friends and stood by their side no matter what. He was brilliant and generous with compliments, and he came into work early so they could have lunch together. Oh, how Caleb was happy to have him back.

He pointed Essek towards the bakery and was grateful that it was not too busy that evening.

“Welcome to the Nestled Nook,” he told Essek with a flourish of his left hand, opening his own car door with the other. They both exited and Caleb made a point to wait and walk slowly by Essek.

“Great bread, delicious soup, and plenty of Nooks to Nestle in,” he jested, before immediately regretting his forwardness. He glanced at Essek, hoping he had not struck a nerve. Instead of withdrawing, though, Essek seemed to laugh, his eyes crinkling and mirroring Caleb’s enthusiasm.

“I suppose that is good for quiet conversation,” Essek added, before pushing the door open. Caleb came up behind him and held the door for the two of them as they passed.

“Hmm, this is... nice,” Essek mused as he spun around to take in the sight. The bakery was nowhere near as fancy as some of the restaurants Caleb supposed Essek might have eaten in before – after all, he knew what Essek’s social background was – but it was similar enough to Melora’s Grove in its unassuming, authentic atmosphere. 

Two employees were preparing foods and serving a client, soft music was playing at a level quiet enough to allow for casual conversation, and Caleb was pleased to realize that the place was still warm from this morning’s baking. Not necessarily his favored temperature, but he knew it would suit Essek better. Around them, barely a few people were chatting idly around some tea or coffee.

“Are you hungry at all?” Caleb asked. “It is still early to be having supper.”

Essek shrugged. “I am not hungry, but I suppose that might change when food is served. Though, if you want, we could…” he looked to the side, then pursed his lips and seemed to make a decision. “We could start with just tea and have food in a few minutes.”

If Caleb did not know better, he would have thought Essek’s suggestion seemed tentative. Hence, he made sure his answer conveyed all of the enthusiasm he had at the idea of spending a longer time with Essek. “Ach, what a great idea.” He clasped Essek’s shoulder and nudged him towards the counter. “They have a good selection – nowhere near Caduceus’s, but not too bad either. Let me show you.”

They picked some teas and went to sit, and Caleb admonished himself when he saw Essek drop onto the chair and wince. “I will go get the tea and food for us if you want, Essek.”

Essek’s eyes narrowed and he looked about to bite out an irritated response, but he seemed to stop in his tracks and just stare at Caleb for a split-second. His gaze softened.

“You know, I am very defensive about it,” he admitted. “I apologize if I’ve ever snapped at you because of it. It is never personal.”

Caleb shook his head. “I can understand that. I have bad days too, though my legs are not usually directly involved.” He leaned forward and put his chin in his hand, before scolding himself internally and immediately straightening his posture to something less forward, less flirty. He needed to make sure he was playing it safe and respecting Essek's comfort level.

It was hard, though, not knowing where their boundaries lay.

“Ah, uh, how is… work?” he attempted to redirect his own thoughts towards the conversation, but immediately regretted the poor choice in conversation subjects. Essek spent all day at work: surely, he would get bored out of his mind if it were all Caleb could talk about.

On the contrary, Essek gladly hopped onto the subject and began telling him about the latest developments of the various projects he was handling. One terribly outdated program was finally ready to be relaunched thanks to Fjord’s relentless efforts; Essek had been accumulating information on Adeen, hoping to get him fired one day; he was wrestling Bilan and the Board for more funding on specific infrastructure projects, despite their refusal to allocate more funds for a new hire; he had been making good progress on the service desk project – the project that had brought them to work together in the first place. Unfortunately, without Caleb’s help, it had fallen on the back burner, and Adeen was actively resisting its implementation.

“Of course he is,” Caleb had chuckled in disbelief over a steaming cup of spiced chai, “it would highlight everything that he does wrong.”

“I know,” Essek waved at Caleb. “Someone competent has no reason to fear a traceability and ticket management system like that. It’s a good working tool. But someone like Adeen – he loses his ability to do what he wants, when he wants. The transparency threatens him. And that,” Essek poked the table with his finger insistently, “is the tool that might give me the proof I need to finally get him fired.” Essek stopped in his track and huffed. “Of course, even if I get that proof, it’s a matter of seeing whether Bilan even wants to see it.” He sighed and leaned back in his chair. “But I can’t imagine Bilan will be here for much longer. After all, how old is he?”

Caleb snickered. “It isn’t so much about his age as it is about his inability to stay awake at work. One day, the Kryn ladies will grow tired of him never doing any work around the place.”

Essek rolled his eyes. “I can only hope that he will retire soon. We need a director who will shoulder us in our endeavours, not put barriers to maintain the status quo. The network infrastructure needs a lot of work, and we are going to have to work hard to stabilize some of the custom systems we use – they’ve been designed too long ago, and only patched to accommodate new growth. There is hardly any structure to them anymore.”

Essek then gave Caleb a resigned pout and shrugged. “All I can do is keep nagging Bilan and bothering the Board in the hopes that one day, they realize how many vital security risks those systems present,” he said quietly, mindful of the people around, before taking a sip of his earl grey.

Caleb leaned his chin in his hand and smiled fondly. “Hopefully, they know you are only looking out for them.”

Essek chuckled. “A company? A company never remembers what you have done for them, not unless it suits their own interests. They exist to make money, and as wholesome as they might make themselves seem, they will never be anything but a wolf in sheep’s clothing.” He leaned forward. “You know, watch them intently the next time somebody leaves or gets fired. They will twist the facts into whatever narrative suits them.”

Caleb frowned, amused. “I did not take you for a cynic, Herr Thelyss.”

“Not a cynic. I just have a hard time believing that the free coffee and yearly team-building activities actually change anything about a company’s perpetual search for profit. It is in their nature."

Essek marked a pause before explaining: "As long as an employee’s presence benefits them, they will offer small gifts of recognition, a day off here and there, a personalized mug on your birthday… They want those tokens of appreciation to be remembered, and they will make you feel guilty for accepting them.” Essek made air-quotes before his next sentence: “Oh, how incredibly lucky you are to have such a good workplace! ” he dropped his air-quotes and stared at Caleb. “And then, when you no longer suit their objectives, they will strike you down as soon as they get the chance.” 

Caleb held Essek's stare and hummed, pensive.

“I only have to look at how they treat their human employees,” Essek added, justifying his tirade. “It is shameful. You would think that the young, modern Kryn ladies who take on a popular pro bono case here and there to maintain their public image would be actively against discrimination in the workplace… but on the other side," Essek gestured as though making a comparison, "watch as they do nothing to combat it in their own midst.”

Caleb felt a wave of warmth in his chest at the idea of Essek being defensive of his and Beauregard’s working conditions. “Ja , I suppose you might be right.” He shook his head as he continued. “But I am forever an idealist, and sometimes, corporate attempts at showing humanity appeal to my hopes for a better world.”

Essek tilted his head slightly in a conceding motion. “Then I am truly admirative of your optimism. But never forget that to them, an employee only belongs as long as it is useful, and not for a second longer.”

Caleb nodded and took a sip of his tea, savoring the bitter orange peel on the back of his tongue. He supposed Essek was probably right, though he could not help but to hope for the opposite. 

“I guess they have been pretty shitty towards Beauregard and I, huh?” he joked, but it felt bitter, more so than his tea. He decided to change the subject.

“I wonder if they will ask me to train the new hire. I think it would be a good idea for me to lay the groundwork with her, since Mirimm will be leaving tomorrow. Better to let Beauregard do the fine-tuning. We will see if they trust me with the basics, though.”

Essek nodded. “It would be wiser, surely – a better use of your resources. And it would be a good way to wrap up your foray into accounting, would it not be?”

Caleb chuckled. “A legacy to pass along – sure, why not. I did write several technical documents for a variety of processes, after all. Maybe they will be useful to someone other than myself.” He went to take another sip of his tea before realizing his cup was empty.

Essek cocked his eyebrows and smirked. “I know, I came to the same realization only a few seconds ago,” he teased, showing his empty cup as well. “Are you beginning to be hungry?”

Caleb grinned. “Ja, beginning to be. You had no other plans for tonight, did you?”

“Nowhere to be but here. My evenings are rarely exciting.”

Caleb tilted his head in a conceding motion, then felt his stomach grumble. “Let me go see if they have menus, otherwise I will tell you what they have to offer.” He rose and began making his way towards the counter, before Essek stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“No need. I am feeling tired, and choosing will require energy I do not have. Perhaps I will just have whatever you are having?”

Caleb smiled. “Now, that adds some pressure. I am not sure you will enjoy the same thing as I usually do.”

Essek shook his head and dropped his hand from Caleb’s forearm, and Caleb’s skin prickled with its absence. “Then just choose something – anything – for me. It can be their daily special; I am not picky.”

Caleb scratched his jaw before coming up with a satisfactory idea. “How about this: I will pick two things I think you will enjoy, and you can try both and I will just eat the other, ja?”

Essek chuckled. “There is no need –”

“Nein, allow me to insist. I like everything they make here, and I already have a rough idea of what you might like. It will please me, to find out what you choose.”

That seemed to placate Essek, and he let him go with a nod. He arrived at the counter and his eyes skimmed over its limited menu before finding what they were searching for.

“Ja, hello,” he greeted an employee as they came to take his order. “I will take one serving of lentil soup and some of your olive and butter bean stew,” he began, pausing to let the employee note it down.

He paid for their meals before strolling back to his and Essek’s table, noting that Essek had seemed to duck his eyes away from him when he turned. It might have meant that Essek had been looking at Caleb behind his back, and Caleb found that he quite liked the idea.

He settled at the table with a newfound confidence. “So, what does Essek Thelyss do in his evenings? I do not think I have ever asked what your personal hobbies are.”

Essek chuckled. “Nothing of interest, I’m afraid. I usually flop into bed, order food, maybe watch something – though never with great interest. I am usually too tired to muster the energy to do much more. What about Caleb Widogast? What does he do when he is not at work, juggling several wildly different tasks at the same time?” He tilted his head in curiosity.

“Mostly the same, though I cannot afford to order out most days. Sometimes my roommate and I will cook together though – yes, she is the overprotective one,” he added when Essek flashed a smile in recognition, “– and when we do, it is always a terrifying and hilarious ordeal. We might eat together, chat, and then I will settle with a book or watch something too.” He paused, then grinned as he added sarcastically “You and I live such exciting lives.”

Essek laughed and shook his head. “I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if it had a little bit more… adventure in it.”

“Most likely, we would both be dead unless we brought Beauregard along. And perhaps Jester.”

“You are certainly right on that. Did you know Beauregard does Jiu-Jitsu?” Essek smirked. “Maybe your overprotective roommate should be involved as well.”

Caleb barked out a laugh, and added “Ja, and in the end, you just know the whole group chat would come along.”

Essek nodded at that and their order was called, prompting Caleb to rise and retrieve two steaming bowls.

“Oh, this smells delicious. Is that…” Essek stopped, pointing at the lentil soup. “Is that bowl made of… bread?”

Caleb hummed in agreement and watched Essek’s eyes go wide. “Have you never seen this before?” he asked.

Essek shook his head and Caleb mockingly gasped before plopping the lentil soup directly in front of Essek.

“Mein Freund, let me tell you – this will change your life.”

Essek nodded and stared at the rich, dark soup in front of him for a few seconds, then grabbed his spoon. He then glanced up and set it down right away. “Oh, I’m sorry – look at me, I am so excited about this that I am forgetting my manners.”

Caleb laughed. “Please. I take it as a compliment. Try it!” He set the other bowl in front of himself and sat down.

Essek took his spoon again, wavering uncertainly over the loaf. “And do I… do I cut some of the bread to go with, or can I do that only at the end?”

Caleb cracked a fond smile - his friend's confusion was incredibly endearing. “It is yours to do what you want with, Essek. But here,” he took his knife and tapped at a corner of the crust, “tear this bit away and dip it in. Their bread is truly wonderful.”

Essek did so and was silent for a few seconds, and Caleb took the moment to admire his long, pale eyelashes as his eyes lowered towards his meal. 

“Caleb,” Essek murmured, bringing his eyes back towards Caleb's and giving him a mockingly insulted frown. “How did you not mention this place to me before?”

Caleb cracked a grin, rubbed his hands in excitement and leaned forward. “I know. It is good, isn’t it?”

Essek nodded and dug into his soup, and Caleb took it as a sign that he was taking ownership of it, which meant the bean stew was now his own to dig into.

They both ate silently for a minute, before Essek stopped mid-bite. “Oh!”

“What is it?”

“I forgot - you wanted to see which one I would choose,” Essek explained, grimacing in disappointment.

Caleb chuckled. “Well, I would say this,” he pointed towards Essek’s well-dented bowl, “indicates a choice, ja? But please,” he pushed his own bowl of stew forward, “feel free to try it.”

Essek hesitated for a moment before leaning forward and lifting his spoon, his expression uncertain. Caleb just nodded in encouragement and Essek dug into the stew timidly.

“That will not do, Thelyss,” Caleb interrupted and Essek’s eyes shot up, his spoon still above Caleb’s bowl.

“What?”

“That spoonful is lacking the most important ingredient.” Caleb spooned up an olive from the bowl and plopped it on top of Essek’s own spoon. Essek smiled and brought the spoon to his mouth, and Caleb had to stop himself from marveling at the casual intimacy they were sharing. 

He reminded himself that there was nothing to read into, and that they were just two friends enjoying some time together. Reining his heart in, he stifled the yearning in his gut and focused on the present when Essek began nodding enthusiastically.

“Yes. I approve of this one as well." Essek's satisfied expression turned into an overly dramatic sigh. "Well, both are delicious. We will just have to come back so I can try all of these, yes?” He gestured towards the counter of the bakery, before immediately adding, “if that isn’t… presumptuous, of course.”

Caleb nodded, pleased, his smile still wide. “I am glad you enjoy these. And, Essek, nothing would make me happier than to bring you here again.”

Essek seemed to school his expression into something neutral, but the tips of his ears became noticeably darker. After a second, a smile crept on his lips and they both shared a nod of agreement before they began to eat again.

“You spoke to Beauregard,” Caleb said after a few more bites. “Do you know anything about the new hire?”

Essek shook his head. “Just the essentials: She is wonderful, competent, friendly and could bench press Beauregard if she tried.”

Caleb snickered and waved his spoon in the air. “Ja , I suppose that was part of their interview questions.”

Essek barked a laugh and had to stop for a moment. He balled his fist and brought it in front of his mouth, and shook with contained laughter for several seconds. Caleb chuckled, but then saw that joyful tears were gathering at the tips of Essek's eyelashes. Essek seemed to notice as well and wiped his eyes before waving his hand in front of his face, unsuccessfully attempting to chase the laughter away. But his hilarity was contagious, and soon, Caleb was fully laughing as well.

“I just –” Essek choked out before getting interrupted by another fit of laughter. Two other patrons seemed to glance towards them, so Caleb leaned forward and grasped Essek’s forearm.

“Shh,” he implored, but his own laughter had not subsided either.

“I just –” Essek began again, quieter this time to stifle his undignified giggles, “I can only think of – of Bilan –”

They both shook with another fit of laughter, eyes barely opened and cheeks dark, and Caleb nodded, loving the image Essek was sharing with him.

“Ja, Bilan - I can imagine him: ‘Hrghnm! Most esteemed candidate, can you bench press Miss Lionett?’”

Essek’s laughter doubled, and he quietly mimicked slamming his fist on the table before whispering ‘You’re hired!’ in Bilan’s tone. They both erupted into laughter again.

They eventually calmed down from their laughter as quietly as they could and finished eating their meals. Whenever Caleb’s eyes met Essek’s, he could see the joy dancing into them, and he felt a similar delight growing in his chest.

They spoke some more about a variety of ideas that Essek was considering implementing at work, and Caleb tried his best at reflecting and providing insight. They went back-and-forth for awhile – Essek even pulling out a fountain pen to write on his napkin at some point – and before long, the sun was beginning to set.

Essek was the first to realize it. “Oh, I’ve kept you for far too long, Caleb, I apologize. And talking about work, too –”

Caleb lifted his hand, stopping Essek’s apology right where it stood. “Please, there is nothing I would rather be doing. And,” he added, “this doesn’t feel like work.”

“It doesn’t, does it?” Essek agreed, the grin back on his face. “I have missed doing this with you.”

Caleb smiled fondly. “Ach, I suppose you will have to deal with me again when Bilan moves me out of accounting. What a shame.”

Essek cocked his head and blinked slowly. “What a shame indeed,” he deadpanned.

They both rose and made their way back to Essek’s car, and Caleb had to take a moment to remember how to open the door again – he might have been ashamed of it if he had not, perhaps, caught onto how it made Essek smile. But this man made him soft and merry, and he would look like a fool a thousand times if it meant he would be graced with a grin from Essek.

Caleb then led him through small streets towards his home and before long, they were parked in front of Caleb’s apartment. He unclasped his seatbelt and turned to face Essek. “Thank you, friend. Today was a shit day, but then, you turned it into something wonderful.”

The blush was back on the tip of Essek’s ears. “I had a lovely evening too.”

Caleb smiled fondly. “We should do this again, ja?”

Essek nodded without breaking eye contact and they were silent for a moment, savoring each other's presence for several seconds, unable to stop smiling. Suddenly, Essek’s eyes flicked towards the building behind Caleb. “Ah, I do not believe I have had the pleasure to meet your roommate, but I believe she has found us.”

Caleb closed his eyes and chuckled. He turned towards the living room window where he could see Veth staring at him and waved. She closed the curtain without responding.

Caleb turned back towards Essek and rolled his eyes. “I think maybe we will have you two meet on another occasion, ja?”

Essek nodded. “Take care, and I will see you tomorrow for Mirimm’s last day, yes?”

Caleb smirked. “Bless that old goblin, she is a good egg. And you,” he pointed at Essek, “get home safe and dream of bread bowls.”

Essek laughed, and Caleb’s heart nearly burst with affection.

He closed the door and waved Essek off as he drove away. When he turned to make his way in, Veth was at the window once more. He sighed and shook his head slowly, but the wide smile on his lips would not fall off.

“This wasn’t a date,” he explained to no one in particular, and walked towards his home.

Chapter Text

     Caleb: It is cooler outside this morning. That silk scarf of yours might not be enough until it warms up.

     Essek: Thank you for the heads up.

     Caleb: Really, it’s my pleasure. Then I do not have to hear you complain.

     Essek: Hilarious. Meet up at the Overcrow?

     Caleb: I might be a few minutes after you, but you know my order.

     Essek: Do you want breakfast with your coffee this time?

Caleb smiled at his phone screen and tightened his grip on the subway handle as he and every other passenger of the car canted to the right before straightening themselves again.

     Caleb: No, just your company.

     Caleb: After all, I am having lunch with the new hire today, so we will have to make up for lost time this morning.

He pushed his phone back into his pocket before feeling it buzz and fishing it back out right away.

     Essek: Ah, that’s true. Shame.

     Essek: Do you have to?

Caleb rolled his eyes.

     Caleb: No, but seeing as I am training her, it would be rude for me to leave her to have lunch on her own.

     Essek: What about Beauregard? Doesn’t she want to test that bench-pressing theory?

Caleb huffed a quiet laugh and typed some more, briefly interrupted by another tight turn in which all the passengers canted to the left. They all straightened themselves once more as though nothing had happened – himself included – and he sent his response.

     Caleb: Essek.

     Caleb: Be nice.

     Essek: Sure.

     Essek: No, no, I know you’re right. I’m being facetious.

     Caleb: Ja, I know.

     Caleb: After her first few days, you can join us, and then progressively steal me back.

     Essek: Good plan. Will do.

Caleb chuckled and made his way outside the subway car once it arrived at its next stop.  He made for the Overcrow coffee shop, where he and Essek now met up every morning or so, and as soon as he stepped outside, he closed his eyes and breathed in the smell of fresh rain from the night. Even downtown, it made everything smell better.

Plus, he was in a good mood.

Mirimm’s last day had been a week and a half ago: a small afternoon event had been organized, as was customary, to thank her for her years of service. She had seemed to tolerate the attention quite well, even going as far as to give a little speech at the end. In it, she had thanked Bilan for organizing the event – a jab, most likely, since they all knew he had nothing to do with it – and she had roasted Beauregard publicly on her stubbornness, before telling everyone that she would be a good successor. Mirimm had even addressed a word to Caleb, and the attention had deeply touched him, though the message itself had the same cryptic flavor she usually employed.

She had told everyone that if he learned everything as fast as he had with her, then he might one day figure out what was right in front of him, and then proceeded to wink at him and move on to another subject. He wondered if she might have left some sort of note or trap in her desk for him to ‘figure out,’ but he could find no clue. He was sure he would find out what it was, in time.

Since then, Caleb had been able to shoulder Beauregard in all of Mirimm’s old duties, which meant he was handling payroll. As soon as he accessed the information he was looking for, he began planning to ask Bilan and HR for a raise. Under Beauregard’s well-informed advice, he’d been confident enough to ask for a retroactive correction of his salary.

It had been worth it: yes, he’d been granted the retroactive adjustment (which meant he had received, a week or so ago, four thousand dollars in retroactive pay, and that was definitely very nice), but he had also very much appreciated Bilan’s face when he had shown him the documentation to support his claim. His boss had sputtered and whined that ‘this wasn’t what we gave you that kind of access for,’ but Caleb, tired of grovelling and seeing that he had a certain amount of leverage, had suggested reviewing it with HR and Bilan had waved him off, annoyed. A few days later, he was invited into his office to sign a new work contract with a salary adjustment and a temporary bonus for the time during which he would be training the new hire. Since then, his relationship with his boss was fraught – but Beauregard had been right, he was overall quite easy to avoid. Their group chat held an ongoing pool about when Bilan would finally retire, and it helped Caleb to not take the old drow too seriously.

On top of all of this, he had been spending more time with Essek outside of work – it seemed that they both had a lot of free time in the evenings, so why not spend it in good company? They would talk for hours, sometimes barely remembering they were there to eat and not just share some tea. Essek had confessed that he’d been unable to concentrate on reading books when he had begun at Kryn & Kryn and was now finding it difficult to pick it up again despite wanting to – so Caleb would lend him books on human psychology, neuroscience, bioinformatics and anthropology. Essek seemed to find it easier to devour books if they came from Caleb. They would discuss them late into the evening, and often, Caleb would come home later than Veth preferred. He kept explaining to her that they were not going on dates, that they were just friends spending time together, even going as far as to tell her that Essek was not interested. She still worried and pestered Caleb so that he would come home early.

Then, one evening when Caleb had been sure she was working, he brought Essek in to meet Frumpkin. Essek had been enamored with the cat right away, falling to his knees to coo at him, and Frumpkin had put on his best show, purring like a tractor and flinging himself to the ground to get belly rubs.

Caleb had been marveling at the fact that Frumpkin was letting Essek pet his stomach when a quiet sound had caught his attention. There, in the hallway, Veth was tucked in the shadows and observing the scene with disbelief. She’d then caught his eye and squinted suspiciously, as though issuing a warning, before slinking away unnoticed by Essek. Since that day, she had lessened her overprotective stance on Caleb, and Essek’s existence was tolerated again.

So yes, Caleb was in a good mood. Everything was falling into place quite nicely, and soon, he would get to work with Essek again. And if Veth’s words rang in his head, telling him that he might not want to do this all of his life and that he should begin looking for a new job, then he was perfectly happy to ignore it for now.

Outside of the Overcrow, Essek handed Caleb his coffee exactly how he liked it. They sat on a bench in the small park nearby, enjoying the sound of its fountain quieting the surrounding cityscape noises – this was quickly becoming their new morning routine, and they would come into work less and less early as time went on, instead using their time before the day officially started to catch up with each other. It only meant that they would stay at work later, and that, in turn, meant they had an excuse to go for supper together. It was a perfect setup, really. He did not think he would ever tire of Essek.

When they arrived at the building around 8am, someone was waiting in front of the doors. Essek checked his watch and Caleb spun around, searching for a flash of blue skin hurrying in their direction but found none.

They walked up to the imposing figure only to find a tall, very muscular woman leaning quietly at the side of the door. She had pale skin, white in comparison to Caleb’s freckled pink, and her eyes were mesmerizingly different from each other: one blue, one purple like Essek’s. When she saw them arrive, she straightened herself unhurriedly and shot them a timid smile.

“Hello, I’m Yasha – I’m new here. I will be working under Mr. Bilan, in accounting.”

Caleb flashed her a wide grin. “ Ja, hallo Yasha. I am glad to meet you. Caleb Widogast, I work in accounting too, though just temporarily. This is Essek Thelyss, he works in IT.”

Essek held out a tentative hand, visibly uncomfortable, and Yasha shook it while Caleb unlocked the door and let them in.

“Apologies for Jester, our receptionist. She can be late sometimes, though never by much. She is a pearl, though,” Caleb added after a beat, just as Essek added “She grows on you, though.” They glanced at each other and exchanged a quiet smile, before Essek excused himself, wishing both of them a nice day.

Yasha turned towards Caleb. “Thank you very much for letting me in.”

Caleb waved a hand in dismissal and ushered her towards the accounting office. “It is nothing, you will see. We stick with each other in this department. Ask Beauregard about it.”

Yasha’s face lit up. “Yes, I’ve met her. She interviewed me.”

Caleb nodded. “She told us good things about you after the interview. I think she was very happy that you applied.”

Yasha’s cheeks reddened slightly. “What did she say?”

Caleb sputtered a bit before remembering one thing that was appropriate. “She said you seemed nice and competent.”

She nodded and followed along. He pointed her to his normal desk. “I have been hanging out in the accounting office more often than not lately, but my job is not in accounting, so in the future, here is where you will be able to find me.”

“What is your job, then?”

Caleb exhaled and rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, everything and nothing at the same time.” He chuckled at Yasha’s confusion. “I help wherever there is a need. Technically,” he rolled his eyes, “I am Mr. Bilan’s assistant, though he practically never calls directly on me. So I help Beauregard out with accounting, and I help Essek with IT. That’s usually plenty to keep me occupied, but I have been known to assist Pumat, our archivist, as well as a few others.”

She seemed impressed, and that flattered a part of him that had gotten used to minimizing his own work’s importance. He liked Yasha, he decided.

Caleb gave her a tour, explaining that Beauregard had to present this year’s budgets during today’s Board meeting and as such, would not be available – but that she wished her a warm welcome. Those were his words, not hers, as hers had been tell her I’m super stoked she’s here, which, if genuine, were perhaps not the most professional introduction.  

He showed her around the accounting office like Beauregard had done several weeks ago, and soon enough, they found a pleasant rhythm. When noon hit, he told her about Melora’s Grove and welcomed her to join him for lunch, an offer she readily accepted. Caleb remembered, of course, those few times when he was still new and eating in the office kitchenette by himself, so if he could help Yasha avoid that, he would.

He presented her to Caduceus and noted that they shared the same kind of quiet energy. He could see why Beauregard had liked Yasha right away.

“So,” he began as they sat down in front of two steaming bowls. “Is there anything you want to know? Any questions you have?”

Yasha hesitated for a moment. “Our boss, Mr. Bilan – I haven’t met him yet, not since my interview. Is that normal?”

“Ah, yes.” Caleb laughed, and confusion spread on her features. Then, a small smile played on her lips as she cocked her head to the side, inviting him to expand on that.

“He is a particular fellow. I will tell you some more about him if you promise it will stay between us,” he mock-whispered.

She nodded and leaned forward as though he was going to keep whispering, but he straightened his back and waved his spoon as though trying to decide what to say first.

“Well, he is very old. And he dislikes humans. He likes to delegate work and offers little support to his team. He falls asleep during meetings. He always comes in late, and his office door is always closed. He lives to maintain the status quo. What else…” he enumerated as he watched Yasha’s brow furrow more and more after each new element.

“Does he… I don’t know. Does he have any redeeming qualities?”

Caleb shrugged. “Most of the time, he avoids getting in the way. Though that is less true for IT – though that might be because Essek works twice as hard as he should to make things evolve.”

Yasha nodded, pensive. “He seems very nice, by the way.”

Caleb chuckled, mistaking her comment for sarcasm about Bilan, before she clarified.

“I meant Essek, the IT guy.”

“Ah, I see,” he nodded. “Yes, he is. A bit reclusive at first, but he has a good heart. The two of you will probably get along if you get the chance to hang out, honestly,” he said before digging back into his bowl.

She smiled. “How long have you been together?”

He nearly inhaled the piece of soft tofu that was in his mouth.

Coughing several times, he lifted his hand and stalled while he attempted to get his breath back. Yasha looked at him worriedly.

“Are you okay? Do you need me to help? I can do the Heimlich maneuver –”

“No, no no,” he croaked, before clearing his throat. “We are… colleagues. Nothing more. We are not together –”

Yasha’s jaw slackened. “Oh, I get it. I’m sorry, I’m bad at reading, like… social cues and things like that. I won’t bring it up again if you two are looking to keep it quiet.”

He shook his head. “No, no, we’re actually not –” he coughed again, “Essek and I are just friends. We are not together. I am telling you the truth.” What could have led Yasha to believe Essek and he…?

Yasha frowned but nodded, unconvinced. “Okay.”

“No, I assure you.”

“Yes, I believe you,” she added. “I’m sorry if I suggested otherwise.”

Caleb nodded and cleared his throat again, before caving in and downing half a glass of water. “No harm done,” he rasped as he put the glass down again. “It’s fine,” he reassured once more when he saw her give him a sheepish smile.

“Okay,” she added.

Caleb tucked the conversation in the furthest part of his mind as they finished their meals and headed back to work. There would be time to unpack that later.

Bilan did not meet with Yasha in the afternoon, and her work contract remained unsigned. Caleb reassured her and told her that this was typical Bilan behavior, but still sent a quick message to Essek that read Have you seen Bilan?

Essek responded a few minutes later with several concerning messages.

     Essek: No, and Beauregard told me he was absent at the Board meeting even though he had a presentation to make.

     Essek: She said they were, and I quote, ‘weird’ about it.

     Essek: They simply skipped his presentation without mentioning anything. They pushed hers earlier because of that.

     Caleb: Ah, that must have pissed her off.

     Essek: She was frustrated, yes. Mostly perplexed.

     Essek: I find it strange, too, that Bilan would just… be absent from a Board meeting.

     Caleb: Ja, that means he essentially ghosted Leylas Kryn.

     Essek: Even for him, it’s a bit much.

     Caleb: Ok. Well, if he does not have her sign her contract tomorrow, I will take her to HR. I would not work without a proper contract in place if I were her.

     Essek: That is wise – you may survive yet in this corporate world.

Caleb rolled his eyes and responded with Mein Gott, you are so dramatic, before closing the chat and focusing back on Yasha’s training. This was not the first time that Bilan avoided his workplace responsibilities, so surely, this was nothing that deserved their attention.

Chapter Text

In fact, Caleb realized, it seemed that Bilan’s absence would warrant their attention after all. 

The old man was unseen the next day, and without Caleb prompting anything, Bodo had taken the initiative to have Yasha sign her employee contract. Caleb soon forgot about Bilan’s absence, used as he was to being ignored by him. It was only when their department – Beauregard, himself, Yasha, Adeen and Essek – was convocated to an unplanned meeting one Wednesday afternoon that they began to wonder. On their own in the conference room, they huddled close and muttered together, Adeen pointedly sitting apart from the rest of them.

It was someone from the strategic division, a business analyst with long white hair, violet skin and piercing violet eyes by the name of Zethris Olios, who broke their speculation by coming in and closing the door behind herself. She sat down with poise and explained that Bilan was in the hospital – he had been admitted on the day before Yasha’s arrival – and therefore, that he was on a leave of absence for an indeterminate amount of time. She then followed up with an announcement that she would now be overseeing the regular activities of the department. She threw a pointed look in Essek’s direction when she said, “Of course, this isn’t the time to be working on big changes and new projects, however pertinent they may be. We are focusing on keeping operations functional until Mr. Bilan returns, or until we find a proper interim.”

Essek kept his face neutral, nodding once in understanding as Olios confidently explained how the following weeks would go on. Ironically, the absence of their boss would in fact result in more supervision, as Olios would be holding weekly meetings with both teams – accounting and IT – to ensure that she was kept aware of issues, barriers or anything that might require her attention. Once she had given them the meeting dates and schedules to order their day around, Olios had turned to Caleb.

“I am unclear on what you do exactly. Should you present yourself in the accounting meetings, or the IT meetings? I’ve heard you, ah, dabbled in both.”

Caleb’s mind whirred as he searched for the best answer to give, but his friends were faster than he. “He should keep up with accounting, we still need him for backup and documentation,” Beauregard requested, and at the very same time, Essek piped up, saying: “We are going to need him on the IT team.”

For a moment, Caleb was struck with how lucky he was to have two dear friends advocating for him like that – but then, it was not advocacy, he realized. They were not saying this because they felt like he needed protecting. 

A quick glance at Beauregard’s expectant, fierce expression told him that they both relied on him, and that he owed their reactions not to the friendship they shared, but to his own actions and achievements. A surge of pride overcame him, and when he looked back at Olios, he held his head more confidently.

Olios stared at her IT manager and her Junior Controller, and then glanced back at Caleb. A beat passed, during which she seemed to read through him. 

“Both, then, for now,” she nodded, and picked up the notebook she had brought. “I will see you in here next Monday – in the meantime, my office is on the fourth floor, close to Quana Kryn’s. Please come see me if you need any help.”

She bid them a good day and ended the meeting, leaving them to digest the news. Adeen stayed silent in the corner of the room, having fished out his phone and tuned out right after Olios had left. When Beauregard turned to the rest of them, lifted her eyebrows and made a low, surprised whistling sound, Adeen seemed to understand he was no longer welcome. He rose and left, muttering that he would be in his office if anyone needed him.

Yasha turned to the rest of them. “Ah, I didn’t… know Mister Bilan at all, but for what it’s worth, I’m sorry,” she murmured, her soft voice contrasting with her stature.

Beauregard snorted. “Don’t be sorry for us. Yeah, it sucks that he’s in the hospital, but I’m not going to pretend all of a sudden that I like him.”

Essek hummed noncommittally and rubbed his chin. “I just don’t know if the service desk project will count as an ongoing, necessary change or if it will be… put on the back burner, as they say.”

Caleb cocked his head. “Do you think Olios will stop all ongoing projects and keep IT to a strict minimum of maintenance?” He hoped not – it might mean less opportunities to work with Essek.

Essek seemed to catch the meaning behind his words and shook his head. “I don’t know, but I do know that there is a fair bit of work to be done before any change effectively takes place, so we can at least work with that.”

“Isn’t the service desk almost ready? You two have been working on that for awhile,” Beauregard prompted, before Yasha lifted her hand hesitantly.

“What’s a service desk?”

Used to answering Yasha’s questions on the accounting systems, Caleb turned towards her and explained. “In this case, it’s essentially a portal where people will create tickets whenever they need help, instead of emailing or asking in person – among other things, it allows us to keep statistics that then justify further IT investment.”

Essek nodded, an appreciative smile dancing on his lips. “Such as being able to prove that laptops need replacing if there is an increase in hardware-related tickets, for instance.”

Beauregard snickered. “Hardware might not be the only thing that needs replacing once you implement that.” She gestured at the door of the conference room with her thumb. “If you launch the service desk, Adeen might have to start working, and I’m not sure he’s, like… intellectually capable of doing that.”

Caleb smirked and glanced at Essek, who remained silent.

Beauregard seemed to catch on. “What, you don’t wanna diss Adeen in front of our new colleague? But you usually do it so well,” she taunted, elbowing Essek in the rib.

“Ow – no, that’s not… ah, there is…” Essek drummed his fingers on the table. “There is actually a little bit of a case ongoing –”

Caleb’s jaw fell slack and Beauregard sprung up from her seat screaming “No shit!”

Essek fired an uncomfortable glance in the direction of the conference room door. “Best to keep it under wraps for now. But,” he locked eyes with Caleb. “Olios might agree to launch the service desk because of it. We’ll see.”

Caleb hummed, pensive. Had Essek found new evidence against Adeen? Had he simply been waiting for the right moment to submit it? Before Beauregard could insist any further, Caleb frowned a warning at her and said: “Of course, Essek, this is none of our business. I am sure Olios will keep us updated if anything of concern to us comes up.”

They parted ways and each of them returned to their individual desks, except for Caleb, who was still training Yasha. When he settled on a chair next to her and let her check the accounting email, his phone buzzed with a message from Essek.

Essek: I am being asked to meet with Olios, Bodo and Quana Kryn this afternoon. It may go into the evening.

Essek: Don’t wait up.

Caleb read the message twice, unable to grasp its tone. He asked for a clarification: Nothing bad, I hope?

Essek’s answer came swiftly. On the contrary. Hopefully, something good comes out of this.

They finished the day and Caleb made his way home, his head buzzing with thoughts on what was to come.

Essek did not meet him at the Overcrow the next morning, as he’d had a late evening and would come in later. Caleb stepped into work early, and when he settled at his and Yasha’s desk and began checking his email, he found a company-wide note had been sent, curt and dry, stating that Adeen Tasithar was no longer employed by Kryn & Kryn.

He stared at it for a minute, taking in the news, before rubbing his chin in thought. It seemed that whatever that ‘case’ had been, it had contained enough to warrant an immediate termination. He was shocked, of course, but thinking back on Essek’s late behaviour every time Adeen had been mentioned, he realized the subject had been changed swiftly every time. It was clear that Essek had been working on this for a while, and as it had gotten more serious, he had been more and more careful with information. Caleb smiled, appreciative of his friend’s professionalism and foresight.

Essek must have found evidence of Adeen tampering with security for his own gain. It was unlikely to be accounting, because Beauregard would have been involved, Caleb mused. Most likely, it was proof that he had been playing around in the systems and causing problems for himself to solve later, just as Essek had suspected from the start. Perhaps weakening a major security feature was more his style, too, and that would warrant immediate action from the higher echelons.

He couldn’t hold back a scoff – here he was, a human working as hard as he could to be respected, having to sneak his way into information that could give him equal working conditions as those his colleagues had right away. And Adeen? He had been handed a position he was visibly unable to fulfill, and instead of trying to improve and make himself a better teammate, he’d self-sabotaged so badly that it had eventually cost him his job. 

Caleb shook his head, but resolved to set this line of thought aside: it was over for Adeen now, and they could all move on to better things. Admittedly, he was incredibly curious as to what had happened, but it was useless to speculate - at least until he could speak to Essek about it.

He leaned back into his chair and scratched his neck, still taking in the possibilities that might come with such a turn of events. He and Essek would probably work together more than ever. At least, he hoped.

Olios came into the accounting office before most people started to arrive, delicately holding up a cup of coffee. “Good morning,” she began, and Caleb could see that she seemed tired. “I wanted to ask – how much more time do you have training Nydoorin?”

Caleb thought for a second, knowing where this might go and not wanting to miss his chance. “I suppose she will be mostly autonomous soon, provided Beauregard and I are available to answer her questions if she has any. Next Tuesday will be her first payroll, so that will take two days – and perhaps it would be good if we did it together one more time before she tried for it alone, but that would be in another two weeks. She is otherwise fairly comfortable with billing and receivables.”

Olios tightened her lips in thought and Caleb decided to add an estimate of his own, even though such initiative had been frowned upon by Bilan in the past. “I suppose that with a few hours of training per day for the next two weeks, on top of two more days in two weeks for the next payroll, she will be ready to fly on her own.”

Olios stared at him, intrigued. “And where does that leave you?”

Caleb smiled courteously: he knew the answer even less than she did, but he certainly knew where he hoped it might go. “Wherever the department needs me, I suppose.”

She took a sip of her coffee without breaking eye contact. Though Olios was intimidating in her own right, she did not have Bilan’s dismissive attitude and Caleb found it easier to withstand her stare. Finally, she swallowed and asked: “What experience do you have with IT?”

Caleb felt his heart accelerate – this moment might be decisive for his career at Kryn & Kryn. “Not much,” he answered, “but I am a big learner.”

She held his gaze for another moment, then responded, “Duly noted, thank you,” before leaving him to wonder.

Essek was absent for most of the morning, and Caleb focused on training Yasha. Around noon, Caleb saw his friend pass by the accounting office, closely following Olios in the direction of the floor’s conference rooms. Caleb got only a glimpse at Essek’s face, but he was biting his lip, something he only did when he was nervous about something. Caleb breathed and was thankful that for the time being, he did not have a management position. He was not paid nearly enough for that anyway, he thought with a quiet laugh.

He went to Caduceus’s again for lunch, with Yasha and Beauregard, but he mostly let Beauregard make a fool of herself in front of Yasha. Perhaps he should tell her about being careful, just in case she toed the line of flirting a little too much, but then he thought about Essek and how he wished he would flirt more. Ach, he thought, this is ridiculous . He has not been flirting with you. There is a difference between being flirty and just being close friends. 

He was drawn back to the present when Yasha leaned forward as Beauregard was relating a tale. She blinked twice and laughed at Beauregard’s bad joke, before asking conversationally: “So, Beau, what do you usually do with your time?”

He almost rolled his eyes at the obvious flirting before remembering that he had asked Essek that question himself barely a few weeks ago. He felt the tips of his ears flush warm and decided to excuse himself for the last few minutes – telling himself that it was to let the two women have a moment together.

When he came back, he made a quick detour by Essek’s office and found him squinting at his computer and typing rapidly.

He gave a soft knock at the door and Essek’s eyes jumped in his direction. He waved him in, but kept typing as Caleb entered.

“Yes?” Essek asked, visibly concentrated.

Caleb smiled. “Nothing in particular. I just wanted to know how you were and see if you have eaten already.”

Essek broke his staring contest with his monitor and laughed nervously, running his hand through his hair and tousling it in the process so that one strand was standing on top of his head, like an antenna. It made Caleb’s heart melt with fondness.

“Ah, that is… nice of you. I am just trying to,” Essek gestured at his computer, “figure out a timeline for all of these things that suddenly need to happen at once.” He gestured for Caleb to come closer, to show him something on his screen. Caleb came by and saw a Gantt diagram with several lines and variations of timelines. He turned to Essek, wondering if he was looking for an opinion on something in particular.

Essek huffed, then saw Caleb looking at him inquisitively and shook his head. “It wasn’t a specific question. I’m just complaining and showing off.” As Essek spoke, his little antenna of hair fluttered above his head expressively, and Caleb cracked a grin.

“What?” Essek asked, and Caleb could not resist anymore. He extended his hand towards Essek’s hair and tucked the antenna back into place.

Essek remained unmoving and Caleb’s fingers lingered there for a split-second before he retreated with an explanation. “You had an, ach, a little…” he mimicked Essek’s little rebellious strand with his finger.

Essek nodded and returned his eyes to his screen. “Ah, yes, yes. Thank, uh, thank you.”

Caleb saw a flash of movement near the glass door and glanced up – and his heart dropped. There stood Jester, lunchbox in hand, her hands clasping her cheeks, visibly making some sort of squeaking surprised noise. When they made eye contact, she scampered away.

Scheisse.

“Ach, Essek, just a moment please-”

“There was actually something I wanted to ask you –”

“Just a little moment, I’ll be right back –” and Caleb was out, practically running after Jester.

He found her around the corner, clasping her hand on her mouth, and when she saw him she squealed again and dragged him into an alcove with a copy machine and several stacks of paper.

“Ca-LEB! You should have told me, oh my gosh, you two are SO CUTE!”

Caleb looked behind them and grabbed Jester’s shoulders. “Jester, please. Please. This is not what you think it is.”

She clapped her hands and cocked an eyebrow at him. “Oh yeah? Really?”

He nodded frantically. “Ja, really. Please.” She just laughed, and he had to insist. “Please, Jester.”

She grinned. “You know, I think he was looking pre-tty soft in there. Little hearts in his eyes, you know?” she mimed little hearts in hers and leaned to mock-kiss the air in front of her.

Caleb clasped his hands on his face and knew he was turning beet red. “Jester, please. Please, listen to me.” He let go of his face and grabbed her hands before she could start making rude gestures. “Jester, please.”

She must have felt his panic rising because she gave him her full attention, a frown appearing between her eyebrows. “Why, what?”

He sucked in a breath and looked behind them. Then he lowered his voice to a whisper and closed his eyes. He knew he had to give Jester something , so that she would not take it upon herself to play matchmaker.

“Jester, I know he is cute,” he murmured, his eyes still closed. She made a movement to bring her hands to her cheeks again, but Caleb was still holding her hands, so he brought them into a praying position between his own. “I know that scene was adorable. But please, neither of us are looking to be in a couple right now.” He looked behind them again and then whispered, begging: “So just… leave it, please. Okay?”

When he returned his eyes to her, her eyebrows were cocked, and she did not look as though she had taken him seriously. “Okay but, like… have you talked with him?” When he opened his mouth to answer, she lifted her finger and set it on his mouth, effectively silencing him. “With words, you know? Not long stares and, oh,” she removed her finger from Caleb’s mouth and put it on her forehead as though she were a fainting damsel, “woe is me ; I am tragic and will never be loved –” she stopped her comedy abruptly. “You know. Real words, for a real conversation?”

He withdrew slightly, miffed at the imitation – which was not at all accurate, thank you very much. “Yes, actually, Jester. We have talked about it with real words. We agreed that nothing should change and that we should remain friends.”

She stared at him and hummed.

“Please, Jester. Don’t tell anybody you saw this.”

“Of course I’m not just gonna like, tell everyone, Cayleb. I’m not stupid.”

He breathed a relieved “thank you” and she hummed again, before squinting at him. Caleb eyed her warily.

Suddenly, she smirked, and Caleb’s heart dropped – this was her prank-planning face, and it did not bode well for him.

“I won’t tell anyone, Caleb, if you let me tell Beau.”

He rolled his eyes. “Then you would be telling someone.” She stuck her tongue out at him and he remembered that he would not placate Jester with semantics, not when she was in a meddling mood. He sighed deeply, feeling the exhale rattle his bones. He needed to get back to Essek.

“What would you be telling Beauregard, then?” he inquired, exasperated.

She hummed and put a finger on her chin, drawing out the suspense. Finally, she answered: “I would tell her that you two were alone in Essek’s office, and that you reached out and smoothed Essek’s hair and he looked at you like you meant the world to him.” She shrugged happily. “Nothing embarrassing for you!”

Caleb let out a choked whine before shaking his head. “Wait. Not that last part.” She squinted at him so he expanded before she could derail the conversation. “You can tell her that we were in his office and I fixed his hair. That’s all. No interpretation of –” he gestured in the air vaguely, “– looks, or anything of that sort.”

Jester just nodded and winked. “I’ll let her come to her own conclusions, I suppose.”

“I mean –” Caleb added immediately, “– I would prefer if you just… did not tell anyone, ja? Because then, Beauregard and you will have a conversation about it, and, you know, it will become a thing,” he explained.

Jester smirked at him, very aware that he had the short end of the stick.

“Okay, you know what? You’re right, you’re very right, Cayleb. I will not tell anybody, at all –” she began, and Caleb just knew there was going to be a but or an if to that sentence.

As he had guessed, she let her sentence drag on unfinished for a second before adding a condition: “– if, when you go back into Essek’s office and he asks why you left so fast… you tell him it was because you absolutely had to poop, like, so hard.”

Caleb blinked, then opened his mouth to say something – how childish it was, how it would not help her matchmaking process, anything – but then he remembered that this was Jester’s special brand of chaos, and that any logical arguments were unlikely to be heard.

“…fine,” he abdicated.

She snickered.

“But you keep your promise, ja?” he added quickly.

“Of-course-of-course,” she waved her hand in front of him dismissively. He sighed and stepped aside, and Jester made her way out of the alcove. Before turning the corner away, she winked at him and laughed once more.

He stayed in the alcove for a dozen or so more seconds, his mind whirring with how he could possibly slip that in conversation, before he snapped himself out of it. Best not to think too much about it. Just rip the bandage off.

He made his way back and when he arrived to Essek’s office, the door was left ajar for him.

“Everything alright?” Essek asked, frowning.

Caleb stared at the ground as he came in and cleared his throat before closing the door behind himself.

“Yes,” he croaked.

“What was it? You left so fast,” Essek cocked his head and there was a tinge of concern in his voice as he spoke.

Caleb fought to keep a grimace off his face as he followed through with Jester’s dare. Avoiding eye contact and feeling his face heat up, he explained: “I just had to… poop, I suppose.” A beat passed before he added: “Like, so hard.”

He then swiftly strode back to his position by Essek’s desk and gestured at the screen as though nothing had happened and attempted to steer the conversation away from what he had just said. “So, what were you going to tell me about? I suppose it must have something to do with–” he gestured at the screen, not sure of what he was attempting to say, before seeing that Essek was frowning in confusion.

They stared at each other and Essek blinked once. Caleb closed his eyes tightly to control his embarrassment, then promptly realized it just made him look constipated and reopened them right away. “Just – don’t ask, ja?”

“No,” Essek acquiesced right away, “I’ll make a point not to.”

Caleb sighed and Essek gestured towards the chair next to him. He let himself drop into it and Essek did not expand on their previous subject, instead returning his attention to the screen. Caleb was immensely thankful when Essek began speaking again with his attention firmly on the screen.

“Olios and I have been talking – I suppose you have seen the message about Adeen this morning – and we are trying to arrange for support to be maintained until we can find another technician to replace him. I can ask Fjord for more hours, especially for anything pertaining to network,” and Essek’s gaze was naturally drawn back to Caleb’s as he specified: “Network admin and security are not my specializations, and neither are they Fjord’s, but he has an employee who is contracted in another company right now that he could mobilize towards our cause.”

Essek then waved towards his screen. “I can handle most larger service requests – ones that require technical intervention in some of our systems, data integrity, security, or corporate decisions such as hardware acquisition. What is left is first-tier and a bit of second-tier technical support: resetting passwords, assisting people with navigation, a bit of remote troubleshooting and the like. Adeen did not set the bar very high in that, but of course, I would enjoy seizing the opportunity to improve our performance.”

Caleb nodded. Essek then opened an email tab and showed Caleb a draft he had sent to Essek himself, several weeks ago.

“I know you had been working on some introductory communications for the service desk. We will be launching it after all – I managed to convince Olios that handling requests verbally and through email between Fjord, his employee, you and myself would be a terrible idea.” Essek seemed pleased with himself.

“I’m sorry – me?” Caleb prompted, not daring to get his hopes up so soon but failing to do so.

“Yes,” Essek turned towards him, smiling smoothly. “Olios told me you could reduce your hours in accounting soon and give the rest of that time to me. I hope that’s okay?”

Caleb cracked a wide grin. “Of course it is okay, Essek. I could not be happier.”

Essek responded with a grin of his own before waving Caleb closer. Caleb dragged his chair towards the screen and Essek began showing him what was left to do before launching the service desk; it had already all been configured, and the test they had run together a month or so ago was still active. He saw that Essek had created technician profiles for Fjord, Olios and another person named Orly. Essek ran Caleb through the launching process.

“This email,” he gestured with his mouse at Caleb’s old draft, “will be sent this evening to all of the employees. I like how you presented it, so I barely changed anything except the dates and such. Olios managed to squeeze a spot for us in the company quarterly employee meeting, so we will have Leylas Kryn mention the launch as well – we’re using the loose script you sent me six weeks ago. After that, we will have to begin employee training, so everything needs to be ready by then.”

Essek then switched back to his Gantt diagram, brow furrowed, and checked his project planning – from close by, Caleb could read the details, and there was indeed a lot to do.

“I might have to work overtime,” he muttered, grimacing.

“Essek,” Caleb began, “is there any way that I can help with this?”

Essek looked at him pensively, then frowned and his eyes focused on the wall to his side as he seemed to think through something. His eyes jumped back to Caleb and he smiled. “I think you can give the trainings.”

Caleb’s eyes widened, but Essek continued. “It works quite well, actually – we can plan those together, it will give you some good visibility, it will give me a lot more time, and I think you will be better at it than I could be anyway.”

“Nonsense,” Caleb breathed out, still unsure whether Essek was joking.

Essek shook his head. “No, it’s true. I can give excellent technical explanations, but you are better at the… ‘people thing’, as Fjord would put it.” He gestured towards Caleb. “They listen when you talk.”

Caleb huffed a laugh. “We will ask Bilan about that when he returns, ja?”

Essek rolled his eyes and quirked a smile. “Bilan is an outlier and should not be counted. But I am being serious. You are a good pedagogue, and you will be a very good intermediary between IT and the average employee. Besides, I am not sure I could prepare all of that in a week and a half, even if I worked overtime every day. Perhaps you could be responsible for that if you would like?”

Caleb nodded excitedly. “Ja, Essek, that would be fantastic. Will Olios be alright with it, though?”

Essek shrugged. “I do not know – but I will make sure that she understands that we do not have many other options and that you are perfectly qualified for that task. Besides, it’s a training, not a Board presentation. Perhaps I can pop by at the end to answer questions. I’m sure that the suggestion will be perfectly reasonable.” Essek paused for a moment, before adding, uncertain: “I think it might require you to work overtime, though, perhaps until the launch is complete.”

Caleb’s smile just got wider. “I suppose I will keep you company, then.”

Chapter Text

Caleb stretched his arms up, reaching for a large box above a cupboard before letting out a muffled sound as it began to fall on him. He caught it, making sure it remained closed as he hauled it down. Getting off the stepladder, he pushed the clutter aside from his new desk and set the box on it before gingerly lifting its cardboard cover to check that its contents were the right ones.

His heart pounded in his chest, and he knew that he only had a limited amount of time to proceed – the Board meeting needed to continue, and Vice-President Quana Kryn would likely not accept “but the projector is broken” as a valid excuse to reschedule anything. It was bad enough that all of the Board administrators had witnessed him fiddling around the conference room, trying to figure out if someone had messed with the connections and crawling under the conference room table to assess the situation.

Truth be told, he was way out of his depth these days, seeing as most of his time was spent assisting Essek with IT support. There was a lot of fiddling around, deducing, and testing out hypotheses involved in his process, and though it was a lot of fun, it meant that the pressure was sometimes high. Essek was currently away at the IT recovery center (Adeen’s access needed to be revoked and given to Olios instead, and he could only do the latter in person), and even though he usually responded quite quickly to Caleb’s texts whenever Caleb needed extra information or guidance on something, it seemed that he was otherwise occupied for now. That left Caleb with a few options to fix the current issue: he could call on Fjord, but the half-orc was working remotely and not necessarily an expert in the specific matter at hand, so Caleb had decided to go with his last option and try to resolve the issue on his own. After all, Essek trusted him.

This wasn’t his first time diagnosing a similar issue – the projector had stopped working before, during a lower-stake departmental meeting – but attempting to fix it in front of the whole Board was an uncomfortable experience at best. Last time something similar had happened, Fjord had suggested that the projector’s light might have gone out, so they had replaced it: that at least meant that Caleb would not have to climb onto the massive conference room table in front of everyone to do so again. No, he was alone this time and that meant that he was looking for a patch or a workaround instead of trying to fix the issue altogether.

Caleb blew out a relieved breath when he opened the cardboard box that had nearly fallen on his head a few moments earlier. There lay his savior: an extra projector, old but functional. He closed the box and fit it under his arm before leaving his new office, striding quickly towards the staircase.

He passed in front of Jester, whose curious “Oooh, Cay-leb, what’s that?” had to go unanswered for now and flashed her a breathless grin as he pushed the door open and climbed the stairs two at a time.

When he arrived, the conference room door was closed, and he hesitated briefly, not wanting to barge into the meeting. Through the door window, his eyes met Quana Kryn’s, who held her hand up at the administrators and motioned for him to enter. When Caleb entered the room, the gazes of around fifteen severe-looking drow flitted towards him and they all fell silent. He bowed briefly and closed the door behind himself.

“Apologies for this interruption,” he breathed before making his way towards the center of the massive wooden table.

“... All I’m saying is that an external team of experts could potentially provide a better service,” a low voice began, and Caleb’s head spun towards the sound before realizing that the administrator had not been talking to him, but merely going on as if he had not entered. He bent his head and put all of his focus into trying to complete his task as quickly as possible without interrupting the meeting, controlling his breathing as best he could after his run up the stairs.

It was a solid minute before Caleb could figure out how to best connect the spare projector, but soon enough, he was propping it onto its box and aiming it towards the screen. His eyes flitted to the ceiling and followed the cable that connected the faulty projector to the computer that was currently connected to it, and he found that it was none other than Quana Kryn’s. The Vice-president of Kryn & Kryn, who had been watching him as he worked, gave him a quick nod, and Caleb took it as an invitation to come finish his task.

He made his way around the table and Quana Kryn wheeled her chair slightly away, giving him access to her sleek laptop. Caleb bent down and fiddled with the connections briefly, hoping that his solution would work, but his heart sank when he finalized the connections and the screen remained dark. He froze for a moment, wondering what his next step could possibly be, before realizing that he had forgotten to turn the projector on.

He leaned over the table and pressed a button, and the projector roared to life, the image blinking once before steadying itself. The tension in his shoulders relaxed and he allowed himself a relieved sigh. Leaning in to angle the projector correctly, he felt its fan whirring noisily and glanced at the people around him, hoping that they would not be too bothered by it. The administrators seemed mostly indifferent, too engrossed in their conversation – one of them made brief eye contact with Caleb before leaning back in their chair and returning their attention to the speaker.

Satisfied, Caleb stepped back and away from the table, but he was stopped by the fleeting touch of cool fingers on his wrist. He looked down and saw that Quana Kryn was looking at him.

“Thank you for your work, mister…?” she began, seemingly pleased.

“Widogast,” Caleb supplied, and she nodded and withdrew her hand.

“Mr. Widogast. I appreciate your readiness and professionalism.”

He gave a shallow bow in response, unsure of what to say, but was saved the trouble of answering when the Vice-President simply smiled and returned her attention to the meeting.

Caleb slipped out of the room quietly, and when the door closed behind him, he tilted his head towards the ceiling and let out a chuckle. It was ridiculous how intimidated he was by every contact he had with the Board. After all, they were people, just like himself. Nevertheless, there was something about those stern suits and sterner glares following him around as he tried to work that awoke an anxiety he had not felt since working with Ikithon.

He shook that thought away as he made his way down the stairs. In truth, he was older now than when he was working under Ikithon, and far less impressionable - or so he liked to think. Besides, today's intervention had gone as well as it possibly could have: thanks to his efforts, the meeting could continue.

When he opened the door to the front desk, Caleb was welcomed by a curious Jester.

“You didn’t answer my question!”

“Apologies, Jester. I was in a hurry – the weight of the world depended on that box.” Caleb’s attempt at humor did nothing to dampen Jester’s interest, so he explained: “The projector was not responding, so I went and found a spare.”

Jester’s eyes went wide. “Oh no! Was that for the Marketing meeting or…”

Caleb shook his head. “Nein, for the Board meeting.”

Jester leaned over her desk and whispered loudly: “Ohmygosh, was Leylas there? Was she mad?”

“No, no. Quana Kryn was the one who was using it, though. I think she was relieved that it worked.”

Jester leaned back and clasped her hands together. “She must have been so impressed! It really didn’t take you long, Caleb. You’re so efficient and helpful!”

Caleb shrugged off the praise. “I do the best with what little things I know.”

Jester waved as though chasing a fly away from her. “You do a great job, and way better than Adeen, and everybody’s super impressed, and that’s that. Don’t argue with me.” She winked. “After all, I know all of your little secrets…”

Caleb grinned, feeling confident. “…I have a lot more secrets that you do not know. And blackmail is only useful up until you promise not to use it.” A lie, but he trusted that Jester would keep her promise.

Not that she is right about my feelings for Essek: it is nothing but her wild imagination, he told himself.

“That’s not true,” Jester answered, and for a moment, Caleb feared she might have read his thoughts as she gave him an exaggerated wink. He ran through the conversation in his mind and realized she had simply responded to his last quip.

Jester continued, oblivious to his thoughts: “-but anyway. Fjord and I were talking about you yesterday.”

She paused, expecting an answer. He gladly took the bait and hummed curiously, prompting her to keep going. “We were saying that you’re like… a fish in water, with all of this new stuff you’re doing for Essek. You’re, like, really good at it – Fjord says you learn really fast!”

This time, with Jester’s threat still in mind, Caleb accepted the praise. “I do. And he is a good teacher, and so is Essek.”

Jester gave a quiet, mocking gasp and waggled her eyebrows. “What kind of other stuff does Essek teach you, Caleb?”

Caleb flushed and glanced around, thankfully noting that they were alone in the front desk area.  “Jester,” he growled, and she snickered in response.

“I know, I know. You will tell me when you guys figure it out, though, please?” Jester added.

Caleb closed his eyes and tilted his head towards the ceiling. “I am going to purposefully ignore what you are implying, Jester.”

She hummed knowingly and when he opened his eyes, she was grinning at him. He could not help but to smile back.

“But Caleb, seriously. Fjord thinks you’d be super good if you decided to work in IT. Maybe you can take Adeen’s position!”

Caleb’s mood sank a little. He had thought of this – but his experience in accounting had left a sour taste in his mouth. “I would love to, but it seems that I cannot progress without any formal training to support my candidacy.”

Jester simply shrugged. “Nothing says you can’t go and get more training.”

Caleb opened his mouth to protest, but found that in essence, she was right. Jester, seeing him close his mouth, claimed victory over the argument.

“You know I’m right, Caleb. Besides, isn’t there a policy to support that kind of thing around here? Beau got her scholarship fees half-funded or something like that. Maybe you should start thinking about your options.”

Reluctant to discuss his career path any further with Jester before getting a moment to think about it by himself, Caleb hummed noncommittally and gestured towards his new office. “That is interesting – but I think I have to go.”

She rolled her eyes, obviously aware of exactly what he was doing. He darted off anyway, and when he turned the corner, he felt his phone buzzing in his back pocket.

Opening it, he found that Essek had responded to his earlier message about the projector. His phone kept buzzing, signaling that messages were still incoming.

Essek: Oh dear.

Essek: Have you checked the light bulb?

Essek: There might be some replacement ones in the cupboard to the right of your new desk.

Essek: I am sorry for my delayed response. I was driving.

Essek: Look on the topmost shelf.

Caleb smirked as he typed out a response.

Caleb: Thank you, but I am way ahead of you, friend. The bulb was replaced last week.

Caleb: I set up a spare projector for now so that we can check it out later without the whole Board breathing down our necks.

Essek began typing out a response, and when Caleb stopped walking, his phone buzzed with an answer.

Essek: Clever. Well done.

Caleb grinned at his phone and pushed open the door to his new office. His earlier adrenaline was now beginning to dissipate, and the sight of the room before him made his smile turn into a grimace. Essek had gotten permission from Olios to move Caleb to Adeen’s old office instead of having him remain in the open area, citing the fact that Caleb needed rapid access to the materials and cables stored in there. It was a large office, far larger than Caleb needed, and he had initially balked at the idea of being offered such a thing – it felt like an unearned status symbol. Essek had perceived his discomfort and reassured him that Bilan was gone, and that Olios was fully on board with his decision.

That had been just a few days ago, and Caleb was still getting used to the large office. Now, the size of it did not bother him as much as its general state of disarray. Adeen was not an organized person, and Caleb was discovering that he was not tidy either. From crumbs of who-knew-what in the drawers to disgustingly dusty trinkets on the windowsills, Caleb still felt as though he was intruding on someone else’s space. Just yesterday, he had discovered a sticky substance on top of where he had set an important paper, and it still sent shudders down his spine when he thought of what that possibly could have been. And it did not help that despite keeping the door open whenever Caleb was inside the office, the office still smelled musty. It needed a deep-clean, and Essek had told Caleb that he was free to take a day and sort through the drawers and cupboards, with the excuse of holding an inventory of what they had – but as much as Caleb wanted to do that, there was always another problem that needed fixing, and he kept putting it off.

He sighed and cracked the window open before sitting down at his desk. At least, the equipment was his – he might not have been able to stand typing on a greasy mouse or a crumb-filled keyboard. Caleb unlocked his computer and gingerly opened the service desk page, but thankfully, no other fires needed to be immediately put out. He sighed and began looking through the non-urgent tickets that required his attention, and sifting through the filters of the service desk, he could not help but to feel a sense of pride.

That tool had been his and Essek’s project, and together, they had brought it to fruition. Employees were gushing about how helpful it was, and since Caleb had been tasked with giving brief employee training on the matter, several people now assumed that he officially worked in IT alongside Essek. He corrected them occasionally, ever modest, but he could not deny that it felt good to think that he might belong somewhere.

He set himself to work for a few more minutes before he heard someone approach. Glancing up, he saw Essek, whose nose wrinkled as soon as he came through the doorway. Nevertheless, he came to casually stand next to Caleb.

“How can you work in here? You should take a day and clean this place,” Essek commented.

Caleb rolled his eyes. “Ja, and then who would take care of things while you go gallivanting around the IT recovery center?”

Essek huffed a laugh. “Ah, yes. Well, thank you for that. You did great.”

Caleb gave Essek a teasing wink before he could help himself. Ever since their conversation one rainy night, Caleb tried to be careful about flirtatious gestures such as this one. Essek had not repeated his sudden withdrawal and avoidance - in fact, he had been rather friendly and open lately - but nonetheless, Caleb wanted to keep Essek's boundaries in mind. Therefore, after winking at him, he averted his eyes and looked at the screen, hoping to redirect Essek’s attention towards safer territory and avoid making him uncomfortable. Before he could change the subject, though, they were interrupted by two knocks on the doorframe.

They both looked up and found Olios standing in the doorway. She gave both of them a sharp look.

“Gentlemen.”

Essek fixed his posture and gave their interim boss a nod, while Caleb responded with a greeting of his own. She remained silent for another beat, perhaps taking them in. Then, her violet eyes found Caleb’s.

“Someone told me there was an issue during the Board meeting this morning.”

Caleb’s heart beat a little faster and he swallowed before answering. “Yes. We had replaced the projector’s bulb last week, but it seemed something was off. I decided to,” he stole a glance at Essek, “install a temporary solution until we could take a closer look at it.”

Olios nodded, then her features softened slightly in what looked like a smile. “Yes, Quana told me. She was pleased. Good job, Widogast.”

Surprised by the unexpected praise, Caleb could only nod and school his expression into a polite smile.

Olios then turned her attention to Essek. “Tonight’s meeting is canceled. We’ll get new invites somewhere between tonight and tomorrow.”

Essek nodded, and Olios narrowed her eyes at him. “Now, you’ve been working overtime for awhile. Go home, Thelyss. It’s almost 3:30 anyway.”

Essek frowned and opened his mouth to argue, but Olios pointed at Caleb with long, manicured fingers and made a dismissing motion. “You too, Widogast. I’ll see you both in the morning.” She spun on her heels and was gone as fast as she had arrived.

Essek followed her with his gaze, and when she was out of sight, he turned towards Caleb and grinned.

“Things are looking up for you, yes? Your hard work is finally getting noticed. As it should,” Essek added before fishing his phone out. “I would not want to ignore a direct order from our director, and besides, I am done being productive for the day. How would you feel about dinner?”

Caleb glanced at Essek, and the drow's eyes widened and he added quickly “Ah, just… for fun. At our usual spot, at the bakery. Just – the thing we usually do. Just to chat.”

Caleb chuckled. “Yes, friend. I am pretty sure I know what you are talking about.” Whatever Essek was trying to clarify, he had no clue – but he would gladly finish such a pleasant day on a high note and spend more time with Essek. He closed his computer and extended an arm towards the door. “Lead the way, then.”

They said goodbye to Beauregard and Jester before making their way to the parking garage and falling into their routine – dinner together was now a biweekly thing at the very least. When they arrived and sat down at their usual table, they shared a long look and the tension of their day seemed to melt between them.

“I have yet to thank you, Essek.” Caleb broke the spell, prompted by a sudden surge of affection for his friend.

Essek’s brow furrowed, and he tilted his head. “What for?”

Caleb shrugged. “For trusting me with all of these new things, at work. For giving me someplace to belong to.”

Essek’s eyes did not leave his, but Caleb thought he saw a flush pass over his friend’s cheeks. “Well,” Essek began, leaning in. “I could say that you have wormed your way in, Caleb Widogast.” He leaned back and chuckled. “But we both know that’s not quite true. You are as competent as they come, and it would have been a shame to let you rot in a corner.”

Caleb smiled. “Still. Not everyone would have done the same. You support me in what I do, and I have to tell you how grateful I am for it, at least once in awhile.”

Essek’s face sobered. “And believe me, Caleb, I would have done it sooner if I could have.” He brought his hands up to loosen his tie. “I am just happy that Olios is so open-minded. She is not often available because of her other duties, but she has placed her trust in me for most matters and I am... very relieved about the turn things have taken.”

Caleb mirrored Essek’s motions and undid his own tie, popping the top few buttons of his shirt open. It was good to see Essek relaxing in his presence.

Essek sighed and shrugged. “It is truly a shame that this arrangement is only temporary. We will see how much of it holds up when Bilan is back.”

Caleb cocked his head. “You think he will be back?”

Essek stared at him, eyebrows raised, as though he had not considered the possibility. “I suppose he could decide to retire now.”

Caleb nodded. “Jester said that someone told her he was very sick.” At Essek’s smirk, he conceded: “Of course, gossip only goes so far. But I thought it was interesting nonetheless.”

“I suppose we will get more information sooner or later,” Essek concluded. “Tea?”

Caleb smiled at his friend before rising to his feet. “The usual?” When Essek nodded, Caleb made his way to the counter and put in their order. Soon, he was back with two cups of steaming tea and a question in his mind.

“You know, Essek,” he began as he set Essek’s cup down, “I have been speculating and thinking and, to be frank, it does me no good.” He set his own cup on the table and sat down, taking a moment to appreciate Essek’s curious stare.

Essek’s perplexed answer came quickly. “Yes?”

“Well, I do not think you have ever told me what happened with Adeen.”

Essek chuckled and glanced around them. “It is not... really something I can freely discuss.”

“I had guessed as much – forgive my curiosity, and forget I asked, ja?” he smiled good-naturedly.

Essek leaned back and let his fingers flutter over the handle of his cup. “Well, perhaps I can tell you… a few things.”

Caleb smirked. “Ah, we are playing at being mysterious, then? Go ahead, Herr Thelyss, I am listening.”

Essek cocked an eyebrow. “You will have to come to your own conclusions.”

“Hardly something new for me,” Caleb chuckled. “Now stop teasing and tell me what you can, so I can guess at the rest.”

Essek rolled his eyes and smiled, before leaning forward until they were only a few inches away from each other. “Let us say that Adeen was sloppy one too many times, and this time, I did not need to look far to find proof of his… tampering. Olios was not pleased with how long it had been going on and brought the file I had accumulated on him to the attention of Quana Kryn.”

Essek then leaned back smugly. “It turns out that things can move rapidly at Kryn & Kryn, when the right people are involved.”

Caleb let out a low hum, pensive. He had a few ideas; seeing the rapidity with which justice had been delivered, he could only suppose Adeen’s tampering had to do with infrastructure security. All the more reason for Essek to keep it on the down low.

Essek interrupted his musings with a chuckle. “I can see the gears turn in your brain, Caleb.”

Caleb smirked. “I thought you were going to let me come to my own conclusions?”

“I was, I was,” Essek conceded. “No, I am thoroughly enjoying seeing you work it out.”

“So, if I tell you what I think it is, will you confirm it for me?” Caleb perked up, only to be disappointed when Essek shook his head, still smiling.

“I cannot, though I wish I could quench your thirst for knowledge.” He pointed at Caleb’s cup. “For now, this will have to do.”

Caleb smiled fondly and lifted his cup. “To Adeen being gone,” he jokingly toasted.

Essek mirrored his motion. “And to Bilan hopefully retiring and living long, quiet days, very far away from our department.”

“Ja,” Caleb completed, before taking a sip and relishing the feeling of hot tea down his throat.

At that moment, a shrill voice came from behind him, jolting his attention away from Essek and almost making him spill his cup.

“Caleb! What are you doing here this early?”

Caleb took a deep breath to calm down his heart before turning and giving Veth a smile. “Mein Freund, you are going to make me have a heart attack someday.”

“Oh, I see. He’s been influencing you to skip work, hasn’t he?” She shot a glare at Essek, who graciously ignored the accusation and instead turned a confused smile towards Caleb.  

Caleb fought down the urge to roll his eyes. “Veth, I am an adult, and I can make my own decisions. Please refrain from strangling my friend.” He turned towards Essek and shot him an apologetic smile. “Essek, this is my roommate Veth. Veth, meet Essek.”

“Oh, I’ve heard about you alright,” Veth muttered, getting back into her suspicious attitude with renewed fervor. It seemed Frumpkin's approval only went so far.

Essek frowned and held a hand up. “I think you might be misinterpreting this: Caleb was actually–” he gestured towards Caleb, “–rewarded for his good work today. It was acknowledged that we had both been working overtime lately and our new boss decided to send us home early today.”

Caleb nodded and Veth’s attention turned towards him, now completely ignoring Essek. “Is that true, Lebby?” she asked, face splitting into a grin.

“Ja, it is. I like this new boss so far, Veth. Things are looking up,” he responded, and directed his last words at all three of them.

Essek smiled at him, but his eyes slipped towards Veth. She turned towards him and eyed him sharply before holding out her hand in a brusque motion. “I suppose if Caleb brings us to our eating spot, you must be pretty special.” She cocked an eyebrow, waiting a beat for his reaction, continuing when he reached out to shake her hand. “I’m Veth. Caleb is my boy and if you hurt him, I’ll kill you.”

Caleb felt his ears burn with Veth’s casual revelation to Essek and scrutinized Essek’s expression to see what he had made of it. Essek was giving Veth a charming smile, but Caleb could see it was all teeth.

Leaning forward, Essek did not let go of Veth’s hand quickly, instead lingering there and looking at her nonchalantly. “Ah, so you are the one who made him discover this place? Caleb and I have gone through practically their whole menu together – their food is absolutely delicious, wouldn’t you say?”

Veth’s eyes narrowed and her grip on Essek’s hand tightened. “Oh, you come here often, pretty boy? Well, I come here twice a week to buy Caleb’s favourite bread,” she tugged Essek’s hand closer to her chest, “and when I get home, I’ll put our shared groceries, in our shared fridge, and make supper for him because I happen to live with him and see him every day .”

Caleb’s frown intensified as Veth attempted to intimidate Essek. He hoped things would stay civil – and knowing Veth, he could most certainly not count on it. He opened his mouth to smooth things over, but Essek was faster.

“Ah,” Essek retaliated without letting go of her hand, and Caleb’s brow furrowed – he could not count on Essek to keep this reasonable either, apparently. Essek bent slightly towards her, the motion accentuating their differences in height, and his smile was even wider. “What a shame. I am afraid your supper might grow cold, because Caleb and I are, in fact, having supper together tonight.”

Veth tugged on Essek’s hand once more, nearly closing the distance between Essek and herself. Their noses barely an inch from each other, they shared a glare, and Veth’s face was murderous. “I knew him first. He likes me better,” she nearly spat.

It was enough for Caleb. “Essek,” he snapped, appealing to who he thought might be most receptive to reason.

Essek’s long ear twitched in his direction, but it was a solid second before his posture relaxed slightly and he distanced himself from Veth. But once his eyes left Veth’s to land on Caleb, their intensity faded and he had the decency to look slightly penitent. Caleb frowned at Veth.

“This is not a zero-sum game. You are my best friend, Veth, and I love you dearly, but I do not appreciate you trying to scare my other friends away.”

Veth let go of Essek’s hand and made a show of wiping it on her skirt. “Not all of them.” She stole another glance at Essek, who was now pointedly looking down at his cup. “Just this one.”

Caleb sighed and rubbed his eyes, his frustration rising. “Essek, please excuse us for a moment.”

He got up and Veth followed him outside. As soon as they were out, he spun around and bent down towards her. “What is your problem?” he whispered frantically.

She gestured towards the door. “Caleb, can’t you see? He’s trying to get in your pants!”

Caleb’s jaw went slack, and he just looked at her for a moment, shocked. Her lips twitched into a satisfied smirk.

He stole a glance towards the bakery window, where Essek was still looking down into his cup. Frowning, he brought his attention back towards Veth. “What… makes you say something like that?”

Veth shrugged and began counting on her fingers. “Well: he looks like a twink. You keep telling me he compliments you all the time. Plus, I saw how you two were sitting together earlier. He leans in real close when he talks to you.” She rolled her eyes, and the venom was gone from her voice, replaced by a sort of exasperated disbelief. “It’s ridiculous, really. He’s being so painfully obvious.”

Caleb’s eyes darted back towards the window, and this time, Essek was looking at him. However, he instantly looked away before Caleb could make out his expression.

Caleb sighed and brought his hand to his face. This felt like Jester all over again. Those two would be absolutely terrifying if they ever met.

“Veth,” he began, and brought both of his hands on her shoulders. “I need you to leave him be. I like him a lot, he is a wonderful friend and person, and he is definitely not trying to get into my pants – that, I can guarantee.”

He tried to make his voice sound as neutral as he could, but Veth still narrowed her eyes at him. She scrutinized him for a few seconds before widening her eyes and inhaling deeply. “Oh Lebby… don’t tell me you’ve got the hots for hot boy?” she grabbed his face and pressed her hand to his forehead, measuring his temperature. When he squirmed, she held him in place and stared into his eyes for several seconds, tutting under her breath.

Eventually, Caleb grew tired of her overbearing scrutiny and tore her hands away. “I do not have the hots for him,” he lied. “And I would appreciate it if you two could play along. How would you feel if anytime you spent time with someone else, I came in and acted like a jealous husband?”

Veth smirked. “I don’t have a husband, and you don’t have a wife. But you do have a surrogate mother right in front of you, and you’re not getting rid of her so easily.” Seeing as her joke did not make him laugh, she rolled her eyes. “I’m just trying to protect you. But if you want the attention, then by all means,” she waved at the bakery, “be my guest. I really didn’t think he was your type.” Caleb opened his mouth to argue but she continued on, pensive. “I guess he seems like a nerd. You’d like that.”

She returned her stare towards him and poked his chest with a small finger. “Either way, you gotta deal with me. I’m not going anywhere. You’re my boy and I’m always going to be there to annoy you and loom over your shoulder.”

Caleb rolled his eyes. “I still want you by my side, Veth. I just think that Essek does not deserve your ire, and maybe… you can tone down the protectiveness just a little. After all, I am an adult.”

Veth huffed and smiled. “Go get him, then. And grab some bread when you head back home.”

She pat his cheek twice and she was gone.

“I am not– I don’t…” Caleb began, but soon, she was too far to hear him. He grumbled and turned his gaze towards the window. Essek was fiddling with his phone, his lips turned in an endearing pout which Caleb found himself staring at for a few seconds too long. Am I really this obvious? I should tone it down , he berated himself before making his way back inside.

Essek’s eyes shot up when the door creaked, and he shot Caleb an apologetic look. He looked about to say something, but Caleb stopped him with an upheld hand.

“Ja, I am sorry. She is just like that. But she will not bother us any further.”

“No, Caleb, I should be the one to apologize. I am afraid that I have not made the best impression on your friend, and I would not want to be a reason for you two to fight.”

Caleb smiled as he lowered himself back down into his chair. “No harm done, mein Freund. Veth and I are very close, and sometimes, it is... healthy to reaffirm boundaries.” He rolled his eyes. “I will say, in her defense, that she does mean well.”

Essek huffed a laugh. “I am sure. Well, if you deem it necessary, please extend my apologies to her for my behaviour earlier. I do not mean to steal you from her.”

Caleb’s smile did not disappear as he drank the rest of his tea, now cold.

Seeing this, Essek continued. “Olios sent me a message. They will be reopening the position for a new IT technician. They are looking for someone with network administration experience, which is an excellent idea.”

Caleb nodded, but his mind immediately began to whir. If this new person was more competent than Adeen, perhaps it might mean that they would take his place next to Essek.

Could he become a network administrator? It required studies, if he remembered correctly – and Essek wanted someone with experience anyway. He shooed away the ridiculous idea: choosing a career to remain close to Essek? Maybe Veth was right, and he was in too deep. What if Essek noticed and distanced himself?

Essek continued, oblivious to Caleb’s inner monologue. “If we manage to find someone competent and diligent, I will be very relieved – I have had to handle things I am not qualified or trained to handle since I have arrived here, and I am looking forward to having the input of a trusted expert on matters of network administration and security. The last thing we need is a security breach, especially…” he waved and threw Caleb a pointed look, “now that Adeen has left us.”

Caleb nodded, his heart dropping. Essek seemed very enthused at the idea of bringing someone else on the team – and it would be good for the company, so who was he to spurn the idea?

Essek paused and observed Caleb, who made a great effort to smile and shake off his gloom. Suddenly, Essek’s phone buzzed. He glanced at it and broke into a wide grin.

“Look,” he prompted and handed Caleb his phone. “Things are getting better and better.”

Caleb threw a puzzled look at Essek and took the phone, which was opened on a message notification from Zethris Olios. He skimmed over it before bringing his eyes back up towards Essek’s.

“She wants you to handle the hiring process?”

Essek nodded, still grinning. “It means I have her trust – and it means,” he leaned forward and gestured between the two of them, “that I get to make sure we will get along with this new employee.”

Caleb nodded and swallowed thickly, forcing himself to smile. “That is a good thing for the company, Essek.”

Essek leaned back and enthusiastically grabbed his phone back. “It is good for us too, Caleb. If this person makes a good addition to the team and holds a valuable expertise on top of that, I will be able to trust them with a lot of the things I have been taking care of lately. If I am not constantly putting out fires anymore, I will have more time to work with you on projects to improve our infrastructure and services!”

Caleb thought about it briefly before his forced smile softened into something more genuine. He was not completely reassured, but Essek’s hope was contagious. “If you say so, mein Freund. I trust you.”

Chapter Text

Essek: Caleb, I apologize. I will be late this morning. Do not wait for me.

Caleb read the text twice, trying to get a sense of how to respond. He clutched the handrail a little harder as the subway swerved to the right and other passengers readjusted themselves.

Caleb: Is everything okay?

Essek’s answer was quick: Yes, nothing happened. It’s alright.

Caleb frowned. That sounded like things were not alright. He began to write a response but saw the bottom of his phone screen indicate that Essek had begun typing again. He decided to wait for more information.

When a few seconds were not enough, Caleb pushed his phone back into his pocket and began to tap his fingers on his thigh. Perhaps he could offer to grab coffee for Essek and bring it to him at the office.

Thirty more seconds and Caleb was wondering if he’d missed the notification from his phone; he fished it out from his pocket and opened their conversation again. Right away, he noticed that the ‘Essek Thelyss is typing…’ indicator at the bottom of his screen had vanished. Caleb’s hand dropped from the handrail to type out a response, but the subway swerved once more and he had to hold onto it once more to avoid losing his balance.

The indicator came back, and for a few seconds, Essek was typing again. Then, it was gone once more. He is hesitating, Caleb mused. Then, Essek’s message finally came in.

Essek: Some mornings just take longer.

Caleb frowned; the message was cryptic enough. He typed out his offer.

Caleb: Okay. I will bring you your coffee then?

Essek: No, I’m alright. No need.

Caleb: I am going there anyway. The usual?

Essek began typing but hesitated again. He was silent for a while and Caleb began to worry that he had insisted too much – but Essek’s response finally came in.

Essek:  Yes, please.

Essek: Thank you.

Caleb took his time alone at the Overcrow, and when he came into work with coffee and breakfast for Essek, he passed by his friend’s office – but it was locked and empty. He headed for his instead. Hoping it wouldn’t be too cold by the time Essek came to retrieve it,Caleb put the cup down, then set himself to work. When fifteen minutes passed and Essek did not come, he decided to check in.

Caleb: I am in my office, just in case. Your office was locked so I could not put your things in there.

It was a few moments before Essek responded.

Essek: I have just arrived. I’ll be there soon.

Caleb frowned. Essek’s office was only a few steps away from his – surely, it would have been easier to skip the messaging and just come. Essek was acting strangely and Caleb was as curious as he was concerned. He lifted himself off his chair and walked over to Essek’s office, only to find it empty.

Caleb: Where are you? I can bring you your things.

Essek: Still in my car. I’ll be there shortly.

Caleb frowned.

Caleb: Is everything alright?

Essek began typing a response, and Caleb fidgeted with his phone, eventually taking a breath and turning the display off. Perhaps he was just being impatient, or overbearing? Essek had told him that everything was alright. Maybe he should back off. Essek was acting strangely, though, and that made Caleb worry.

His explanation had been Some mornings just take longer. What did that mean? Essek obviously enjoyed taking care of his appearance, but surely he would not be late for work just to… put makeup on, or do his hair differently?

What else could it be, though? Caleb paced before he was hit with a realization. He must be in pain. Caleb opened his phone again, gave an absent nod to a drow passing by him in the corridor, and noticed that Essek had stopped writing again. Of course, he thought: Essek had always been uncomfortable talking about his leg. It would explain his earlier hesitation.

Caleb: Is it your leg, friend?

He sent the message, then immediately questioned it. He was almost certain of his deduction, but that did not mean that Essek wanted to talk about it. His phone buzzed and he immediately revealed the message.

Essek: Unfortunately.

Ah, I am not getting shut down, Caleb thought and hopefully typed out another offer. He began with Do you want help?, but knowing that Essek would certainly refuse, he decided to word it differently. He tried Can I come get you? but found it too patronizing and promptly modified it once more before sending it.

Caleb: Can I come to you?

Essek: Why?

Caleb: To help carry your things. Or help in whatever way you need.

Caleb: And to see you. I am concerned.

There it was, out in the open. Hopefully Essek would not take offense.

Essek: I’m at H-17.

Caleb smiled and tucked his phone back into his pocket before rushing down the stairs and out of the building. He was sorry for Essek’s pain, but thankful for his trust. Seven minutes later, he reached the parking garage and navigated down to the spot Essek had mentioned.

Essek was leaning back on his car seat, the door slightly ajar, as if he had begun to exit but given up halfway through. His eyes were shut, and he didn’t notice Caleb’s arrival until he was close enough to open the driver’s door wider.

“Essek?”

Essek’s eyes flew open as though he had been startled. He looked a mess; his eyes were sunken in, and his shirt was slightly wrinkled. Of course, to a normal eye, it might not look like much – Essek was very good at maintaining a neat and put-together image – but Caleb immediately knew that Essek had not slept much, if at all.

“Ah, hello Caleb. I am sorry, this is…” Essek straightened his posture briskly and gave a frustrated gesture towards himself.

Caleb just smiled kindly. “I know, friend. No judgement coming from here. You know that, don’t you?”

Essek sighed. “Yes, I – I suppose I do.” He wiped a hand over his face. “I am sorry, though, I am not going to be good company today.”

Caleb shook his head and crouched so that he was at Essek’s height. “No need to apologise. I am not looking for a great conversationalist; I just want to help you.”

Essek did not look at him – hadn’t looked at him since he had arrived. But something in his posture seemed to relax slightly.

“I think your coffee is cold now, though,” Caleb attempted a joke.

That made Essek glance up and give him a defeated smile. “I don’t mind. I don’t care about anything today, Caleb. My mind is just radiating with pain and… I hate everything.”

Caleb frowned. “Why didn’t you stay home?”

Essek gave a long, weary sigh and shut his eyes tightly. “Because I have the interviews today.”

Oh, poor Essek. Caleb grimaced in sympathy; he had forgotten about the hiring process for the new network administrator, putting it at the back of his mind for as long as he could. It seemed that Essek would not be awarded the same luck.

He extended an arm and gave a sympathetic pat on Essek’s shoulder. “And when is the first one?”

Essek glanced at his watch, then back at Caleb. “In two hours.”

Caleb smiled. “Then there is time. We will get you there, you will see.” He searched Essek’s face, which was still grimacing in pain and frustration. “Essek, is there anything that helps on days like this?”

Essek huffed. “Normally, I would knock myself out with some sleep medication and hope to wake up feeling better. Rinse and repeat. But seeing as that isn’t possible today…” He glared at the roof of his car, then shut his eyes tightly and rubbed them. “I brought something. I just cannot decide if I want to –”

Essek gestured behind him, and Caleb’s eyes followed his hand until his eyes found something protruding from the back seat of the car. It was a dark, stylish wooden cane.

He returned his eyes towards Essek. “That is good.”

“I hate it,” Essek cut.

“Why?”

“Because,” Essek began, then rolled his eyes and shrugged. “I never use it. I never need to!”

“But today, it sounds like you might,” Caleb retorted calmly.

Essek shut his eyes firmly. “I’m sorry – this is childish.”

Caleb shook his head. “No, I understand your frustration. Is there another solution? Do you have painkillers?”

Essek looked at him as though searching for a trace of something in his expression – annoyance, perhaps? Sincerity? He must have found what he was looking for, because his next response was softer and more genuine. “I have more in my desk drawer, but they barely take the edge off.”

Caleb thought briefly about how he was currently absent from the office with no explanation and lifted himself up to his feet. “Come, Essek. You can lean on the cane, on me, or on both.”

Essek breathed deeply and seemed to brace himself before grabbing the cane next to him and handing it to Caleb. He then gingerly began to extirpate himself from the car, leaning on the door for balance. It began to wobble, and Caleb extended his arm instead. A few seconds later, Essek was upright and breathing deeply, looking like he was willing his muscles to relax. Caleb moved to close the door and Essek gave a breathy laugh.

“You know, I think the anticipation of the pain is the worst part.”

Caleb smiled and offered the cane. “Ja, I can imagine.”

“Pain is a thing of the mind, anyway. It took me long enough to understand and respect it.” Essek grabbed the cane, locked his car with a button on his keychain and began walking stiffly. “Let us face the day, then.”

“Is there anything you need from your car?” Caleb asked, remaining behind.

“No.” Essek kept walking and Caleb caught up to him. “They are lucky I am coming in today – I want our new network administrator working with us as soon as possible. Here’s hoping the candidates will be good, because I will not be patient.”

Caleb’s laughter echoed along the concrete walls of the garage. “That is fair, my friend. Very fair.”

Essek dropped into his chair when they arrived at the office and Caleb excused himself briefly, only to come back with Essek’s coffee – microwaved back to a proper drinking temperature – and breakfast. His friend grabbed the coffee and drank from it greedily.

“Careful, it’s hot –” Caleb warned, but was ignored. After a few gulps, Essek set it down, unfazed.

“Then it will be a welcome distraction from my leg.”

Caleb rolled his eyes and smiled at Essek’s dramatic delivery. Essek softened and his mouth quirked into a small smile as well. “Thank you, Caleb. You are a good friend.”

“Of course, Essek.”

Caleb stayed a little longer with Essek before the interviews started. Essek had two interviews at the end of the morning and four in the afternoon – and knowing him, Caleb was sure he would be thorough and ask plenty of technical questions. He huffed a quiet laugh when he thought back to a few weeks ago, when Essek had first mentioned the opening of the position. Caleb’s immediate thought had been about whether he could apply to it, but the more he heard Essek prepare for it, the more he realized it was a very technical job. Even with all of the good will in the world, he could not hope to be competent in that position. He would just need to trust Essek’s judgement and hope that the arrival of someone new did not upset their dynamic too much.

Besides, he reassured himself: He and Essek were close friends now, and there was probably very little that could push them apart. If he just kept things as they were, not changing any of their habits or trying to push any boundaries – then it would be alright. He propped his chin in his hand as he surveyed his data sheet for the last time before his stomach growled.

Caleb had a thought for Essek, who would surely need a break from work come lunchtime but would likely not be up for walking all the way to Melora’s Grove. He rubbed his chin in thought and came up with an idea.

He locked his display and rose, checking the time on his phone – It was almost noon, which meant he had twenty minutes left until Essek’s last interview of the morning was over. He grabbed his wallet and made his way down the stairs briskly. One quick conversation with Caduceus later, he made back for the building with his and Essek’s favourite order.

He was about to check with Jester if the candidate had left but decided to swing by Essek’s office before. It was empty, but just as he was about to turn away, he heard a distinct clop clop from the other side of the corridor.

Not but a moment later, Essek appeared around the corner, looking tired and wrung out when he glanced up. Caleb’s heart clutched at the sight, but as soon as Essek took note of his presence, his eyes lit up and a wide smile danced on his lips. He took a few more steps towards Caleb, their eyes locked together, before finally glancing down at Caleb’s hands. If he seemed happy to see Caleb, his expression turned to incredulous relief when he noticed the paper bag unmistakably branded with Caduceus’s logo.

“Caleb –” he began, shaking his head softly.

“I brought us lunch – we can eat in your office if you would like. Or mine, but…” Caleb thought back to the crumbs of who-knew-what in Adeen’s old drawers and smirked. “I think yours, ja?”

“You didn’t have to,” Essek quietly said, and he stepped closer yet, bringing them only a few inches from each other. Hidden behind the tiredness, but bared for Caleb to see, there was a tenderness in Essek’s eyes that made Caleb’s heart clench.

He savored it with every fiber of his being. “No, but I wanted to,” he replied, and opened the door for both of them.

Essek’s smile stayed on his lips as he maneuvered himself into his chair, even though he did wince and reach for his drawer straight away. From it, he pulled out a pill container and poured two capsules into his palm. He scanned the desk mid-motion, then huffed. “I forgot I did not have water…”

“Oh,” Caleb set the food on Essek’s desk, “I got something to drink too. Iced tea, the kind you like.” From the bag, he pulled out a long cup filled with chill, dark tea.

“Deijang Hong Cha?” Essek asked, hopeful.

“That is the one, yes,” Caleb smiled. “And the soup is just your usual – I figured today was not the day to try out new things.”

Essek took a sip of the tea, and Caleb didn’t even notice that he had taken the medication before glancing at his hands and seeing the capsules gone. Looking around, he located the other chair on which were resting two piles of papers. He unceremoniously picked them up and dropped them on the far corner of Essek’s desk, knowing his friend’s classification system was imperfect at best, and he would not mind.

Essek cleared up a good corner of his desk by doing the same, and soon, he and Caleb were sitting across two still-steaming bowls of soup. Essek shimmied out of his suit jacket and set it on his shoulders like a blanket, curling up on himself slightly. Caleb noticed the soft, sparse white hairs on Essek’s forearms rising into goosebumps.

“Are you cold?” he asked, concerned.

Essek shrugged, but it turned into a small shiver. “I cannot fathom why they would keep the air conditioning so far after the end of the summer. It is nice and cool outside, why can people just not open the windows?”

Caleb shook his head. “I think it is still quite warm outside, but I will agree with you that this building’s climate control is a nightmare. But – Essek, you are shivering.”

Essek disguised it into a shrug, but Caleb knew better and frowned.

“It will be better after I eat,” Essek defended himself, and wrapped his hands around the side of the soup bowl, soaking in the heat.

Caleb made a quick decision and took his own jacket off, then handed it to Essek. “Put your jacket back on and add this one on top like a blanket.”

Essek looked about to argue, but Caleb put on a pleading expression and he caved in. He clutched Caleb’s jacket close and the slight tremor in his shoulders disappeared progressively. Caleb took a moment to appreciatively run his eyes over Essek’s form, and savored the sight of his own jacket on him - something he would like to see again. When Caleb dragged his eyes back to meet Essek’s, his friend’s expression turned sour and he barked out a self-deprecating laugh.

“Look at me,” Essek sneered, sarcasm dripping from his tone. “In no time, I will be worse than Bilan. A withered old prune with a walking stick who needs blankets and only ever eats soup.”

Caleb chuckled, but did not miss the shame in Essek’s voice, as he was familiar with self-deprecation himself. “Essek,” he said, and when Essek did not meet his eyes, Caleb insisted. “Essek. This is nothing to be ashamed about. I like that you always complain about the cold, and that your food tastes are predictable, and that you are grumpy and snarky sometimes. Those things are part of who you are, and you are a wonderful person.”

He paused, seeing that Essek’s expression had changed but unable to see exactly how because of the fact that Essek was still staring at the table. He tried to lighten up the mood with a joke. “Besides, I would not say you look like a withered old prune with that stick. Perhaps more like… a handsome Victorian detective.”

Essek’s eyes shot up at that, and Caleb tried to backtrack.

“Ach, um. You know. Like the book?” he tried to explain.

“Ah, yes, yes, of course,” Essek replied, and they exchanged a long look. His ears and cheeks were dark, and his expression, open.

But Caleb had revealed far too much in his tirade about how wonderful a person Essek was, he realized, and it was best if Essek did not dwell on it too much. So he picked up his spoon and changed the subject. “Anyway – how are the interviews going?”

Essek sighed and Caleb immediately regretted his choice of topic. “Not great so far. No one horribly incompetent yet, as far as I’m aware – and I like to think I am getting good at spotting those by now – but no one particularly inspiring either. I have four more candidates this afternoon; one of them is a halfling, though, which will be a nice change.”

Caleb huffed a breath. “Ja, hopefully.” He pursed his lips in thought. “I did not think there were many halflings in Rosohna,” he added.

Essek shook his head. “We have no halfling employees, and your roommate Veth is certainly a rarity in these parts. This one seems like he immigrated from the Empire, though – Brenatto? Does that sound like an Empire name to you?”

Caleb nodded. “Veth is from the region of Felderwin, in the Empire. Brenatto sounds like it could be as well – similar enough to hers.” He gave it little more thought and shrugged. “I am looking forward to meeting the person you will choose.”

“Me too, if I am to be completely honest.”

They ate in companionable silence for a while longer, until Caleb’s attention was diverted from his bowl by the sound of a sneeze. He smiled and went to comment on the small, adorable sound that had come out of Essek – but it died in his throat when he saw Essek’s face wrung in pain. A hiss escaped through his sharp teeth, and he seemed to be clutching his hip.

“Essek – are you alright?” Caleb almost rose from his seat before deciding against it.

Essek held up a hand but did not look up, instead focused on maintaining his position. His eyes were screwed shut.

Caleb remained seated, though he itched to help. He ran his eyes over Essek’s form and found no hint at what might be happening.

Essek remained like this for what felt like hours – even though Caleb knew it was barely a minute. Slowly, his form uncurled and he blew out a long, pained breath. His eyes fluttered open and Caleb could see they were glistening.

“What happened?” he dared to ask again.

Essek looked at him, then back down at his bowl. “Nothing. On days like these, my nerve is simply… extremely sensitive.”

Caleb’s lips burned with a thousand other questions, but he withheld them just a little longer for Essek’s sake. He just watched instead, brow furrowed with concern, as Essek made small movements to increase mobility in his hip.

Eventually, Essek seemed to relax a bit and refocus his attention on Caleb. “Apologies. I sneezed and something caught my nerve in the wrong way.”

“No apology needed, friend,” Caleb murmured. It tugged at his heart, to think that Essek was apologizing about being in pain.

Essek paused and frowned. “What is it?”

Caleb shook his head and tried to school his expression into something more neutral. “It just pains me to see you hurt. Especially when I can do nothing about it.”

Essek leaned back with a hurt expression. “Caleb, no. You have done so much already – look at this!” he pointed at the meal they were sharing, almost disbelieving. “This is more than most people would have done for me. And it helps,” he leaned closer and laid one hand on top of Caleb’s, clutching it into a brief but strong hold. “It helps so much, to not be alone.”

Caleb smiled. “You are not alone. But I am sorry to see you hurt, Essek.” He turned his palm up, welcoming Essek’s hand in his. The movement was clumsy, though, and before he could take Essek’s hand in his, Essek let him go and brought his hand back into his lap.

They both stared silently at each other for a minute, their bowls forgotten, until Essek huffed again. “Have I ever told you what happened?”

Caleb shook his head, curious.

Essek sighed. “It’s absurd, really. I developed a posture problem from years of slouching over books when I was younger – eventually, mere bad posturing morphed into back pain, which descended into my lower vertebrae. It would have cost me no more than a few years of physiotherapy had it not eventually culminated into a herniated disk in my lower back.” 

He grimaced and pointed at a spot at the bottom of his back. “There was inflammation for months and I eventually had to have surgery. The disk is fine now, but I will have pain all of my life. I have been treating my sciatica with various methods for years now, and on good days, I can go hours at a time without feeling the pain.”

“On bad days, however,” he paused and gestured towards himself, “I can barely function, as you’ve seen. The pain radiates down my leg as though I am being electrocuted, should I decide to sneeze, cough, or walk.” He set his lips into a stubborn line. “I usually simply knock myself out and hope it gets better, as I’ve said.”

Caleb frowned. “And does that happen often?”

Essek chuckled, but there was no mirth to it. “Too often. But, dramatics aside – once or twice a month, perhaps.”

Caleb itched to grab Essek’s hand in his own, to tangle their fingers and to whisper affectionate reassurances – but his hands remained on the table, and Essek’s, in his lap. “I am sorry, Essek,” he said instead, hesitant.

Essek shook his head. “No, I… as much as I wish it had not happened to me, I think it was a learning experience as well, on some levels. I could easily see myself as a success-driven corporate shark, looking down on the others around me for their perceived weaknesses, if I had not been forced to face one of my own in such a drastic fashion.”

“What do you mean?”

“It was not as if I had had a sudden accident, you see – it was a slow tumble down a hill, at first. Just posture, then pain, then a hernia. I could have nursed myself back to health, but back then, I was studying, and driven, and absolutely loath to consider anything other than my field of study. It got worse as I refused to pay it attention. It was… a humbling experience when my body reached its breaking point.”

Caleb nodded silently, scanning over Essek’s face for a better read on his emotions. He seemed to relax minutely, perhaps thankful for the opportunity to talk about it.

“And when it did,” he continued, “it was ugly. I was bedridden for days and had to suspend my semester. I was unable to focus and could only see it as an insult – how dare my body hinder my mind so? But that wasn’t it,” he amended, shaking his head slowly. A small smile played on his lips. “I had misunderstood: mind and body are not two competing sides; they are the same. They are me, if you will. And I was harming myself.”

He shrugged. “As it turns out, I was feverish in those moments – those indignant thoughts were the infection kicking in. It got worse, and I was hospitalized for a few days. From then, I had to reevaluate my priorities.”

“I see,” Caleb murmured, cautious and reverent. He was being trusted with this tale that Essek visibly kept close to his chest, and he wanted to treat it well.

Essek continued, “I do not believe that pain makes people. Or that people who have suffered are somehow magically made better by the experience. But in my case, it gave me pause. Being forced to abandon my pursuits and nurse myself back to health was…” He chuckled and looked to the side. “I was not kind, back then. I was sarcastic, and ruthless, all sharp edges. The world afforded me no rest, so I would treat others the same. I was horrible to the nurses and therapists I worked with in the beginning. I regret it.” He huffed again, but Caleb saw the smirk on his lips turned into something genuine. “And, I was reckless, too. I did some stupid things, for all I thought I was the smartest.”

Caleb hummed an acknowledgement – to that, he could certainly relate.

“I will not say that I am a kind person now–” Essek amended, and oh, Caleb would have to disagree on that; “–but I have lost some of my edge. And, for once, I am happy about it. There is something about… having to rely on others, to accept help. It humbles you.”

Caleb exhaled softly, struck by the earnestness in Essek’s gaze. His tale was one of strength, even though he seemed to forget it occasionally and fall into shame and self-deprecation. He wanted to remind Essek of that, because he knew he had not been as strong. “Essek… not everyone would have had the same reaction to hardship. I know mine was… vastly different.”

Essek frowned and shook his head. “I am leaving some parts out, Caleb. Do not compare your experience to mine, because your comparison will be unfair.” He leaned forward and laid his hand on the table, close enough for Caleb to grasp and hold – but Caleb’s hands remained where they were. “Do not think it was all stoic introspection. I had dark moments during my recovery, Caleb. I fell into depression, wouldn’t eat for days on end, refused to go outside.” His frown mellowed into something emptier, and he looked like he was reminiscing for a second. “My brother once came to check in on me, and I was laying in a pool of my own sick. I had overdosed on pain medication. Whether it was a voluntary attempt on my own life, or I was just feverish and not thinking straight, I could not tell you.” He shut his eyes for a brief moment. “I do not want to be seen as some heroic martyr. I do not deserve it, nor do I want it.”

Essek’s eyes refocused, and he leaned back with a deep breath. “Life is ugly, and complicated, and messy.” He fell silent.

Caleb stared at his friend, at a loss for words. They shared a moment of silence before he spoke, as though animated by a force outside of his own will. “But it is beautiful.”

Essek smiled, softly. “Yes, Caleb. It is beautiful.”

Their eyes remained locked for several more beats, and with every long, drawn breath Caleb was taking, he felt his heart swell. Essek’s eyes were damp, and after a moment, he brought his gaze down and patted them dry with his napkin. He let out a wet laugh, and Caleb could not help but to do the same.

With a glance at his phone, Essek cleared his throat. He looked about to change the subject, but then stopped himself and let his expression melt into something softer. “Thank you, Caleb.”

In response, he found he could only smile back, unspoken words hanging between the two of them as they so often did. They continued eating in quiet, comfortable company, until it was time for Essek’s next interview. When they exited the comfortable space of Essek’s office, though, their hearts were both a little lighter.

Chapter Text

“Ah, um, yeah – yeah, probably best for you to carry it. Thank you, Caleb.”

Caleb bent down and, careful with his back, lifted a large box out from his new colleague’s hands. The halfling, tawny-skinned and sporting generous sideburns, stepped out of his way and scrambled to pick up more things – a large bag, half-filled with a variety of plastic wrappings and containers, and a stack of empty cardboard boxes.

“Lead the way, then,” Caleb asked, and the halfling stepped forward and held the door open for him.

The two of them made their way downstairs with their haul until they reached a room on the first floor where the building management kept gigantic trash containers. Caleb gingerly lifted the box until it was teetering on the side of the container, and with one last, satisfying push and a deafening noise, they were finally rid of some of Adeen’s clutter.

“Only two more to go, ha,” the halfling encouraged, satisfyingly wiping his hands after having thrown his own burden in the recycling container. “The previous guys sure had, uh, a lot of stuff in there,” he pointed his thumb in the general direction of Adeen’s old office.

With Adeen out, Caleb had been occupying the office for a few weeks now. It was too large for him alone, but it had been so filled with clutter and suspicious food-like remains that he hadn’t ever felt like it was his, not really. However, now that Yeza had joined their team as their network administrator, the two of them had taken up the challenge of cleaning the place and settling in. Essek had given them all day to do so, and as they both made their way back upstairs, they were welcomed back in the office with faint music out of Yeza’s phone and two half-filled iced teas from Caduceus’s.

“Ah, Yeza – you have no idea how pleased I am to finally get rid of all of this,” Caleb pointed at the other few boxes they were progressively filling with materials. He then reached for a sip of his tea.

Yeza huffed. “Yeah, I can only imagine,” he said in a small but assured voice. “This is good – feels like a spring cleaning, doesn’t it?”

Caleb could only respond to Yeza’s grin in kind. “Ja, it does. Autumn cleaning, in our case.”

Yeza picked up his own iced tea and walked to the window – they had finally managed to pry it open, as it had been previously sealed shut from years of paint carelessly being applied over the frame. The cool air blew over his bushy brown hair and he breathed it in with a pleased expression.

“A few more trips downstairs and then we can start sorting through these,” Caleb explained, pointing at a pile of boxes filled with tangled cables and unidentified adaptors.

Yeza turned back and his eyes filled with mild horror once more at the sight of Adeen’s stock. He shook his head. “I honestly… can’t imagine how someone can work like this.”

“He did not,” Caleb deadpanned, and that earned him a disbelieving chuckle from his companion. “Truly though, Yeza, we are very happy to have you around.”

It was true. At first, Caleb had been hesitant to welcome another team member, unsure of what space would remain for him in IT. Of course, he trusted Essek to choose a competent employee, but in his moments of doubt, he imagined himself having to work with yet another self-centered drow who would look down upon him, not only for his race, but for his lack of training and competence in IT matters. Someone who would make him have to prove himself all over again and usurp his place at Essek’s side.

How incredibly relieved had he been, then, to meet Yeza Brenatto: small and unassuming, kind, and ever helpful. Essek also valued him as a competent peer, and ever since Yeza had arrived a week ago, the three of them would have exciting conversations over lunch about a wide variety of technical subjects. Yeza and Essek always made sure to clarify whatever jargon they used when they spoke of their respective fields, which meant that Caleb learned a great deal just from listening to them talk, occasionally even leaning on his limited experience to contribute to the conversation.

Together, he and Yeza finished clearing up the larger part of the office, going through song playlists and exchanging stories as they worked. Eventually, the room began to feel light and airy, the window bringing in pleasant autumn smells and late afternoon sunshine.

Caleb and Yeza were sitting on the floor, working on untangling and sorting a variety of cables, when the door to the office creaked open.

“Ah, what a difference this makes!” Essek commented, taking a long breath.

Caleb grinned. “Ja, I know. I should have done this sooner, but…” he nodded towards Yeza, who returned his smile, “it is far more pleasant in good company. Care to join?” He patted the floor next to him, but Essek chuckled and shook his head good naturedly.

“I believe they call this… a team-bonding exercise?” He extended a dark purple hand towards the room. “Besides, this office is looking tidier by the minute. You don’t need my help.””

Yeza hummed pensively, and when Caleb tore his eyes off from Essek and looked at his new colleague, he spotted a hint of mischief on the halfling’s face.

“Well, if it’s a bonding exercise, then perhaps you should join us, Mister Thelyss? After all, you are part of the team…”

 Essek stopped mid-motion, then cocked an eyebrow at Yeza. He seemed to think for a moment, before a soft huff – almost a chuckle – escaped his lips and he walked over to Caleb’s office chair, wheeling it over to where the two men were working.

“With pleasure, Mister Brenatto. After all, it would be poor leadership to refuse. But you will have to give me a short task to complete, because if you will remember correctly, we are expected for supper at Melora’s Grove in half an hour.”

Yeza chuckled good-naturedly and rose to his feet, bringing to Essek a cardboard box full of computer mice. “Here – set aside those who have lost their USB pins. We’ll see how many whole sets we have and get rid of the rest.”

Essek set himself to the task as the music mellowed down into soft accordion and guitar. Caleb took a moment to appreciate how ethereal Essek looked in the sun, with dancing motes of dust catching the light around him. They worked in pleasant silence for several more minutes, the music lifting Caleb’s heart into a happy flutter. 

Catching a glance of Essek’s mouth, which was now softened into a subtle, meditative smile as he opened mouse cases and checked models, Caleb’s already-light mood spread as warmth through his limbs. His gaze followed over to Yeza, who was humming along the music and leaning forward to note down serial numbers of the devices he was inspecting.

How amazing it felt, to feel a part of something. Not something big and glorious like the frantic researching and perpetual performing that he had strived for in the Empire, though. Such intense things were like straw fires: they shone the brightest, but they burnt too fast and left nothing in their wake. Instead, this felt familiar, like the hearth at his parents’ home, and it gave instead of taking. 

His thoughts were interrupted by a sight of blue skin and hair through the glass door. Jester was holding up her phone, camera angled towards the three of them, and very obviously taking pictures.

Caleb opened his mouth to say something, but she brought her finger to her lips, and he paused. Looking at his colleagues, he could only agree that they made a peaceful view, all three of them working together; he saw why Jester had decided to immortalize the moment. Very slowly, he gave her a subtle smile and looked back towards his work, letting her capture as many photos as she wanted before someone else noticed her.

In the end, his colleagues were too engrossed by their work, and they only noticed Jester’s presence when Beauregard opened the door.

“Hey guys,” Beauregard said enthusiastically. “We’re ready to go. Fjord is finishing up with another client, so he’s going to meet us there.”

All three of them returned to the present, and Caleb exchanged a discreet wink with Jester, who was still holding her phone. She mouthed something at him, but he could not make out the words, and just responded with a nod.

“By the way, Jester,” Yeza’s voice distracted the tiefling from her and Caleb’s wordless conversation, “–really, thank you so much for organizing this.”

Jester flashed him a wide grin. “Oh, Yeza,” she said, her inflection dramatic. “We’re really happy you and Yasha are joining us – a welcome supper is the least we can do!”

“And it gives us an excuse to spend some time with each other,” Beauregard added, clapping Yasha on the shoulder and giving the group a satisfied smile – which turned into an exasperated scowl when her eyes fell on Caleb and Essek. “Even though some of us don’t have any trouble spending all of their evenings together.” 

Her gaze went to Yeza, who looked at her questioningly. “These two make it harder to schedule because they always have plans on their own,” she explained with a smirk, before turning and heading out with a spring in her step.

Caleb rolled his eyes and they all made their way outside. They walked to Melora’s grove, their number making it impossible to fit on the sidewalk in one cluster. Soon, Caleb found himself walking with Essek, while Beauregard and Yasha led the way and Jester excitedly spoke to a cheerful Yeza. On the way, they encountered Fjord – whom Jester waved over with her usual exuberance.

A few minutes later, they were all sitting around several mismatched tables pushed together to form a large one at Melora’s Grove. The restaurant was not normally open this late in the day, being mostly a lunching spot for workers of the area, but this time, Caduceus had opened it just for them to welcome Yeza and Yasha properly.

Soon, Caduceus enlisted Fjord’s help and they both began bringing out baskets of steamed dumplings, plates of seaweed salads and pickled vegetables, stuffed eggplant and noodles for everyone to help themselves to. Caduceus made one last trip after waving Fjord out of the kitchen, telling him to sit down, and came back out with a pitcher of water and a small bowl. He made his way towards Essek and placed the bowl right in front of him.

Caleb leaned over and saw that Caduceus had made Essek his favourite soup. Essek looked up at the tall firbolg, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Caduceus, you didn’t… have to,” he answered.

Caduceus simply blinked slowly, his lips stretching into a wide smile. “No, but I wanted to. It’s a simple thing,” he pointed at the soup, “meaningful, but easy to give.”

Essek smiled back, but he seemed unsure this time. “No – I mean, you have gone through the trouble of making an extra recipe, just for me. Additional ingredients and processes. I – I appreciate it, but it really wasn’t necessary. I can eat whatever the others will have, you know.”

Caduceus sat down in his chair next to them and reached with a long, gangly arm towards one of the dumpling baskets, placing a few in his plate with his hands. “I wasn’t referring to the soup.”

“Ah.” Essek looked down at the soup in confusion, frowned, then looked back up towards Caduceus. “What were you… referring to, then?”

Caduceus took a plate of pickles from Yasha’s hands, helped himself to a few and passed it along to Essek. He leaned closer to Essek, and his low, rumbly voice responded. “I like to care for my friends. Whether it means...” he gestured towards Beauregard, “–lending an open ear for your troubles,” he inclined his head towards Jester, “–holding you company or encouraging you in your projects,” he looked towards Fjord, “–providing advice and support, or…” looping back, he pointed at Essek’s chest, “–throwing together ingredients for a soup on the side…” he withdrew his hand and smiled patiently. “These things don’t feel like trouble when you do it for others you love.”

Caleb watched carefully as the exchange unfolded, unperturbed by the noise of all of their friends passing plates and joking around. Essek listened intently as Caduceus gave his explanation and stayed quiet for a few seconds after Caduceus had finished, but eventually gave the firbolg a small, rueful smile that made Caleb’s heart clench.

“Thank you, Caduceus. I…” he sighed and his exhale trembled ever so slightly as he ran a hand through his hair. “I appreciate your friendship.”

Caduceus just smiled and handed Essek another basket of dumplings. “Try these, too. I think you’ll like them.”

Whatever discussions had been happening soon quieted down as people dug into their food. The only sounds interrupting the contented silence that blanketed the table and its occupants were the clanging of cutlery and plates.

Surprisingly, Caduceus was the first to break their trance. “My father always says,” he began, “that a quiet table is a good thing.”

Yasha frowned. “I didn’t think that your parents were... authoritarian.”

Caduceus’s eyes widened in confusion. A moment passed as he mulled her words over, and eventually, he erupted into a low chuckle. “No, no. He didn’t force us to be quiet. Wildmother knows my siblings and I weren’t. He simply believed that when the table fell quiet like this, it showed how good the food was.” Beauregard hummed in response, still chewing.

Yasha nodded solemnly. “Well, the food here is very good, um, Caduceus. Thank you,” she concluded.

Fjord, who had followed the interaction with interest, nodded in agreement and, finishing his bite, he lifted his glass. “To Caduceus’s amazing cooking!”

Everyone around the table cheered and clinked glasses, and Caleb stopped to refill his. Conversation picked up again naturally over half-filled plates and second servings. Suddenly, Jester gasped loudly on his right, and he almost dropped the pitcher he was holding.

Beauregard turned to her immediately. “What is it?”

“We didn’t even cheer to Yasha and Yeza!”

Caleb let his shoulders relax, and glancing at Essek, saw him do the same. A wry grin appeared on his lips, and they shared a silent laugh.

Of course, the group cheered dutifully in honor of its new members. Glasses were raised once more, and Beauregard unsubtly stretched her arm over Yasha’s shoulders, pulling her into a terribly awkward half-hug from which neither seemed eager to break free.

Yeza cleared his throat. “I, um, you know. Thank you, everyone, for the warm welcome. I’ve been here for a week and I already feel like this is a second home.”

Yasha nodded solemnly. “I’ve been here for a few weeks now, but it’s the same for me. Everyone’s been so nice and friendly, and Caleb is really knowledgeable, and Beau’s just…” she eyed Beauregard appraisingly, “a wonderful person.” The two women shared a small, private smile, and Jester began awwwing loudly.

“– to work with, of-of course. You know,” Yasha attempted an escape, and her heterochromatic eyes met Caleb’s in a brief second of sympathetic understanding. “I- yeah,” she eventually gave up, looking down at her plate again to hide her reddening cheeks. Beauregard’s awkward side hug tightened on her almost imperceptibly and a soft chuckle escaped her lips.

Taking pity on Yasha’s poor attempt at masking her infatuation, Caleb decided to change subjects.

“Well, you two have certainly found your place among us. And Yeza,” he began, bending slightly forward in order to engage the halfling more directly, “Essek and I are very much looking forward to working with you.”

He almost went to put his hand on Essek’s shoulder, then in a mortifying split-second of self-awareness, realized how similar his motion would have been to Beauregard’s awkward side-hug. Instead, his hand hovered briefly over Essek’s, and he did his best to transform the motion into an approximate gesture towards his friend.

He was about to congratulate himself on the good catch when his eyes met Beauregard’s. Her left eyebrow was raised in a questioning manner, and for a moment, he feared she might call him out on it. She opened her mouth and his eyes went wide with worry.

No words left her mouth – instead, she hesitated for a second, and closed her mouth once more. Her eyebrows pinched into an exasperated frown and she squinted at him before rolling her eyes.

Ironically, it was Jester who saved him from further investigation.

“It’s true, it’s true, everyone loves you, Yeza.”

Fjord put his fork down. “Absolutely. Though I have to say, if this chaotic mishmash of people feels like a second family to you, maybe we should be worried about the level of chaos you have in your own personal life,” he chuckled.

Yeza laughed as well, though it held a tinge of nervousness. “Yeah, I guess. The apartment’s pretty chaotic at any given moment. I fear what would happen if any of you met my son Luc. He’s…” he hesitated for a moment, then shrugged and shook his head, a fond smile on his lips. “He’s a handful, that’s for sure.”

Caleb hummed. “You mentioned having someone come over to babysit him for tonight. Hopefully they’re okay,” he teased.

Yeza laughed nervously again. “Edith has known Luc since he was born. In this case, it’s the dog I’m more worried about.”

Essek frowned. “I would not have taken you for a dog person,” he wondered out loud, a hint of a smile dancing on his lips.

Yeza blew out an exaggerated breath and shook his head, eyes wide. “I’m absolutely not. But my cousin thought it was a staple to raise a young boy, so I caved in and got a puppy. I had no idea it would grow so big, and loud, and…” he shuddered. “I thought it was a Labrador puppy at first. It turns out it’s at least part Mastiff or Great Dane. He’s already as big as I am.”

Yasha let out a soft gasp. “Oh, Mastiffs are such great, big babies,” she cooed. Caleb watched, amused, as Yeza sighed.

“He’s a good dog,” he relented. “Just a bit much for a single dad with a rambunctious four-year old.”

“Oh, if Nugget needs socialization, just let me know and we can have him and my dog Naya meet. I can babysit him too, if you need,” Yasha began excitedly, before noticing Fjord’s amused stare. “I, um, I like dogs,” she added as an explanation, as if it were needed.

Beauregard nodded proudly. “Yeah, her dog is this big white pitbull. Like, 55 pounds of pure love and goofiness, super well-behaved. I’m sure it could teach Nugget a few tricks.” She immediately looked at Yasha and the two of them shared a fond smile. Since when had Beauregard been going to Yasha’s house and meeting her dog? Caleb almost teased her about it, then frowned and decided not to push his luck.

Caleb watched the exchange unfold as Yeza traded stories of his son Luc and Yasha responded with tales of her own dog’s adventures. A few minutes later, everyone around the table was laughing at Yeza’s still-incredulous retelling of how his child had found himself in the possession of a toy crossbow.

Caleb’s thoughts strayed and he found himself thinking of Veth. He smiled and turned towards Essek. “I think Luc and Veth would get along very well,” he murmured and winked.

Essek smiled back and nodded, but before he could respond, Jester leaned heavily on the table in their directions.

“Oh, what are you whispering in Essek’s ear, Cay-leb?”

 Caleb raised a hand defensively. “Nothing, Jester,” he insisted. “I was just thinking about how well my friend would get along with Luc.”

“Is that your murderous roommate?” Beauregard quipped.

To Caleb’s left, Essek nodded. “Luc and she are both halflings, and they are both terrors, it seems.” He glanced towards Yeza and smirked. “Perhaps it would be best to make sure they never met.”

“Or to make sure that they did,” Fjord corrected. “There aren’t many halflings around here. Could be nice,” he added unsubtly.

Yeza picked up on Fjord’s train of thought so quickly that it was almost endearing. “And your halfling friend, uh, what- what does she do?”

Caleb glanced at Essek as he answered. “Actually, she has gotten herself a new job recently. She works as an engineer at Tinkertop’s.”

“Pass my congratulations along to her, if she will have them,” Essek smirked.

“Oh, uh, mine – mine too, please,” Yeza added. Upon seeing Fjord’s eyebrows raise in amused surprise, he corrected himself. “Actually – don’t. I don’t know her. That’s just weird. Nevermind.”

Caleb’s eyes met Fjord’s and they exchanged an amused smile. “No worries, Yeza. I can pass your message along – subtly,” Caleb added before winking.

Yeza’s already-dark cheeks took on a worrisome color and he gulped before nodding twice. “This – yeah. Not many halflings. Could be – could be nice. I suppose. Yeah. Yeah – thank you, Caleb.” Yeza turned his attention to his plate as he trailed off.

He was saved by a loud buzz on Beauregard’s phone, which was resting on the table next to her. The screen lit up with an email notification. That would have been the end of it, if Caleb and Essek’s phones had not gone off in a same fashion at the exact same moment – and Yeza and Yasha’s as well, if the looks on their faces told him anything.

“It’s from work,” Beauregard said, before sliding open her phone.

A quick skim of his own notification let him know that Olios had emailed them – it was not unusual for Essek to receive messages later during the evening, as she tended to work long hours with her current double mandate. The email’s subject line read: Update on DAS.

He exchanged a glance with Essek before sliding open his own notification, aware of everyone’s stares on them. He knew that DAS stood for Director of Administrative Services – Bilan’s official title. So did all of the others at the table, hence why they all fell completely silent as the recipients parsed through the information.

His heart beat fast as he skimmed through the email. He brought his attention back to the present when Beauregard let out a loud breath, followed by a tense laugh.

“Into the unknown, huh,” she concluded, before passing her phone along to Fjord.

Fjord’s eyes widened as he read the first few lines out loud. “I regret to announce Mister Bilan’s early retirement. Unfortunately, his health does now allow for him to return to his position. He wishes you the best. Executive management will soon begin the search to find someone to pick up the mantle. In the meantime, rest assured that I will remain DAS by interim, and you can always come to me should you have any questions or concerns.”

Beauregard rolled her eyes. “Read the last line, dumbass.”

Fjord frowned. “I ask that you please keep that information within the department, as the official announcement will happen during the quarterly employee meeting on Thursday.” His mouth then opened into a silent ‘o’ and he looked back towards Beauregard, sheepish.

“Yeah,” she added, then held out her hand for her phone.

“Wait- hold on,” Fjord spoke halfway through handing it back to her. “I’m not – you... you gave this to me!”

She shrugged. “You’re almost part of the department at this point, honestly. It’s fine,” she added, looking at the rest of the table. “Just keep it to yourselves,” she finished, throwing a pointed look at Jester.

Caduceus nodded solemnly. “I promise not to tell anyone.”

Essek chuckled. “I do not think anyone is too worried about you, Caduceus.”

Caleb breathed out slowly. He would be lying if he said the announcement had not triggered a pit of anxiety in his stomach. Was he happy to learn of Bilan’s retirement? Of course. The old man’s eventual return had loomed over his happiness for as long as he had been gone. Part of him was overjoyed at the prospect of never seeing the old man again.

But Beauregard’s nervous comment still resonated with him. She had spoken of the unknown, and this new change, as unavoidable as it had been, fed into his own uncertainty.

He was shaken from his musings when Essek clasped his shoulder. Caleb lifted his head and locked eyes with his friend.

“Good news, Caleb. This is good news. Stability means more space for new projects,” Essek said, and his grin was contagious. Caleb felt himself mirror it, and, looking around the table, saw several of his colleagues wearing varying expressions of satisfaction and joyful disbelief.

“Well,” Caleb began quietly. “I suppose this calls for a toast.”

Jester erupted into a cheer and clapped her hands, and all of the others followed along, grabbing their own glasses. Fjord lifted himself to his feet and grabbed a pitcher, refilling the empty glasses. When he was done, he picked up his own and lifted it, turning expectantly towards Caleb.

He paused for a moment. What could he say? 

“To new beginnings,” he toasted.

“To new beginnings!” everyone else cheered, clinking their glasses.

He exchanged a glance with Beauregard, who gave him a pleased smile. He returned it with a discreet nod. Even if they were unsure of what would happen next – the only way was forward, and they had each other to lean on in the meantime.

The rest of the evening passed quietly, as more stories were exchanged, plans were made, and laughter was shared. If he noticed Essek leaning closer and closer to him as the evening went on, he did not comment on it – but once in awhile, he felt the weight of Beauregard’s stare on them.

Eventually, they rose and helped Caduceus with the dishes and the cleaning. Jester sang them through it, belting out her favourite playlists along with her phone’s tiny speakers, and the mood was high when they finally made out into the night, clasping each other’s shoulders and saying goodbyes and see-you-tomorrows.

As he was about to walk off with Essek towards his car – he had generously offered Caleb a lift home – Beauregard ushered him over.

With a quick glance over to Essek followed by a quick nod, he walked over towards her.

“Hey man.”

He cocked his head at her. “What is it, Beauregard?”

She lowered her head and whispered conspiratorially. “I’m not s’posed to, like, give off employee information or anything. But like, from a friend to a friend…” she trailed off, searching his gaze.

He frowned, having no idea of where this could be going. “…yes?”

 “Well,” she shrugged. “Essek’s birthday is in eight weeks. Do with that what you will.”

He remained in place as she pat his shoulder and strode off towards Yasha. At first, he worried that Jester had broken her promise and told Beauregard about his infatuation - but then decided she might very well have figured it out on her own by observing him tonight. He heaved a weary sigh.

“Caleb, are you coming?” came Essek’s voice from behind him. He shook his head discreetly, mentally putting aside that train of thought. This infatuation would do no good at this point, anyway. If he were to offer Essek a gift, it would have to be as colleagues and friends, and nothing more.

“I’m coming, Essek.”

Chapter Text

The pile of things Essek was carrying wobbled in his arms as he went to lock his front door. He reflexively reached for the coffee cup that was precariously stacked on top of several books, just to keep it from spilling, and ended up dropping his keys instead. Stopping before anything else escaped him, he sighed, shook his head and set the pile down on his doorstep for a moment. It would not do, after all, to drop coffee on top of the books Caleb had lent him.

A small smile played on his lips as he grabbed his keys from the pavement. He thought back fondly to the night where he had driven Caleb home after Yeza and Yasha’s welcoming dinner: Caleb had spoken about a book he had read recently on biological data collection, and the two of them had fallen into a rabbit-hole, talking excitedly. Caleb had then invited him in – Essek’s heart fluttered at the thought – and let him help himself to his library.

Of course, Essek could recognize a mark of trust when he saw one: Caleb’s home and library were private spaces, almost intimate, and he was touched to have been allowed to see past the entryway where he had met Frumpkin several months ago. From Caleb’s bookshelves, Essek had taken five tomes on a variety of subjects, from bioengineering to medical statistics. Each of them came highly recommended, and Caleb seemed enthused to see him pick them.

In whatever time they had together alone, be it early in the morning or late in the evening at the Nestled Nook, time around them seemed to stop and a special kind of peace would make its way into Essek’s heart. Whenever Essek found the energy to make progress on the books, he and Caleb would discuss those; on other days, when his leg would act up and he found himself unable to focus on anything other than his pain and frustration at the world, Caleb would understand and remain good company as always. 

He’d had those books for three whole weeks now, and he had devoured every one of them with curiosity and an open mind. He had been both horrified and delighted to realize that Caleb annotated his books – horrified for the books’ sake, of course, but delighted for the additional insight he would gain on his friend’s wonderful mind. It proved fascinating: he could see where Caleb’s analytical approach to things came from. In any case, the handsome man was certainly wasted as an administrative assistant, and he could see why he was initially set to become a researcher.

Picking up his load, Essek made his way towards his car. Once the books were safely tucked in Caleb’s seat, he settled in his own and rubbed his hands together. The friction warmed him up against the cool autumn air.

Turning on the ignition, Essek made his way out of the parking lot. Though he did his best to focus on the road, he couldn’t help but let his thoughts stray towards the day that greeted him. Of course, there would be breakfast with Caleb to begin with: always the best part of his day. Even though they worked on several projects together these days, recent changes to the composition of the department also meant that he had very little time alone with Caleb through their everyday duties.

They caught up every morning and they shared supper together two or three times a week, but somehow it was never enough time - he thought he might never have enough time with Caleb. Even though they would run into each other a lot in the course of their day, it was more often than not with other people around. They never seemed to have time anymore to work alone together in his office like they used to, bouncing ideas off of each other, savoring each other’s company. 

Despite that, things were looking up for their projects. He had gotten Caleb started on an interactive searchable knowledge base for the employees; together, they had begun improving the release process for custom software within the company, and in the past week, they had even submitted a project plan for the replacement of their database management program. Now that Olios had proved that she was open-minded and trusted him to improve on the current state of affairs, Essek was pushing forward as many improvement projects as he could, putting his weight into his work. Months of stagnation under Bilan made this autumn feel like a new spring.

To be perfectly fair, Essek also had a personal interest in the matter: more projects meant that Caleb would keep working with him. Not only did Essek want to avoid Caleb being disregarded and understimulated again as he had been under Bilan, but he also craved the chemistry that had emerged between the two of them. The easiest way to satisfy this craving and protect Caleb’s interests was to keep him as close as possible. 

As he coaxed his car into a narrow street parking near the Overcrow, he caught sight of Caleb’s bright red hair in the distance. A shiver ran down his spine as he looked over his friend: how could the man tolerate such freezing temperatures with his neck exposed? He tutted and reached into his backseat for his silk scarf. Since Essek was currently wearing his warmer one, Caleb would surely accept at least this light garment. He looks good in blue, too, Essek thought, glancing at the blue silk scarf he was thinking of loaning him.

Shaking that thought, Essek grabbed his phone and made his way towards his friend, scarf in hand. When Caleb caught sight of him from the top of the stairs, his eyes seemed to brighten and his face split into a wide grin. Essek longed to brush his hair from his reddened cheeks and plant a kiss on his pink nose while looping the scarf around his bare neck. What wouldn’t he give for the freedom to cup Caleb’s jaw and bring him into an embrace, to hold him tight and fondly chastise him for disregarding the weather so? His hand hovered at his side, and he clutched the scarf tighter.

He repressed the longing and swallowed his inane fantasies deep into the back of his throat. They were here for coffee and catching up like good friends, nothing more. 

Plastering on a neutral expression, Essek exchanged pleasantries with his friend, ignoring the garment in his grasp - it had been a ridiculous, wishful idea anyway. As they entered, Caleb noted the second scarf curiously, and Essek found himself stumbling through an explanation about having a second in the car and noting Caleb’s lack of one. 

Seeing as Caleb did not argue with him or sneer at the ridiculous idea, Essek briskly extended the scarf towards Caleb, not leaving room for protest. As soon as it left his grasp, Essek promptly entered the Overcrow with burning cheeks, leaving Caleb behind.  And if his reddened face was less to do with the chill outside and more to do with the man now tentatively donning his blue scarf, well... that was his business, and no one else’s.

Several weeks later, a bleary-eyed Essek went through his morning routine; as he tore the curtains of his apartment open, he noted that the ground was now covered in snow. He groaned unhappily and massaged the tips of his ears, coaxing warmth and blood back into them as he began to prepare himself for the day. He picked his best suit and made sure his ear ornaments matched his tie: after all, today was a big day. He and Caleb would be launching their new database management software and presenting it to stakeholders. A big step in both their professional career paths.

As he fastened his coat and put on a thick scarf, bracing himself to face the cold, he felt his phone buzz from an inner pocket. Jumping on the occasion to delay his exit, he fished it out and revealed a message from Beauregard. His screen displayed a preview: Hey nerd, happy birthday, hope you have a good day and shit, (Read more….). He smiled and rolled his eyes at the very recognisable tone with which the birthday wishes were delivered. This was his friend, all right. 

He made his way to the Overcrow around six, looking forward to a shared breakfast with his best friend. He hadn’t mentioned his birthday to Caleb and it wasn’t something he was used to celebrating much. He supposed Beauregard must have accessed the information through the system. The practice was not standard, as it were, but he found that he didn’t mind. 

Pushing open the creaky door to the Overcrow and scanned the room for a full head of red hair, and didn’t even try to hide his smile when he located Caleb at their usual booth. If they used to take their coffee in the park before, or in the office when working together, he now found himself wanting for his mornings with Caleb to be more of a private affair. This quiet table tucked in the corner of the Overcrow had been theirs every morning for the past few weeks, and he couldn’t help but congratulate himself for having suggested it: not only did it give them privacy, but there was also… an illusion of shared intimacy to it, and it fed something deep in Essek’s heart. He knew Caleb surely didn’t share the sentiment, but he would take whatever he could get. 

He was greeted with a warm grin, an open hand, and a steaming cup of coffee, which he knew to be just the way he liked it. On the table lay a heartier spread than usual: there was a bowl of fruit and two plates of food. As he lowered himself into his seat, he also spotted a modest, brown package on the table. 

“Hallo, Essek,” Caleb leaned forward and brushed a strand of red hair away from his eyes. He motioned towards the food, both as an invitation and an explanatory gesture. “I know that we do not usually share a formal breakfast, but today is a special day.” 

Essek blinked, and his eyes trailed towards the package. “What...do you mean?” 

Caleb chuckled nervously. “Well, it is your birthday today, isn’t it?” He ran his hand through his hair again, lifting his bright blue eyes to meet Essek’s. 

Essek nodded. “And how do you know?” When it seemed that Caleb found more interest in the grain of the wooden table than him, Essek rolled his eyes and smirked. “Ah, I imagine Beauregard must have taken the matter into her own hands.” 

When Caleb met his eyes, they crinkled, and he looked pleased. “Well, you did not hear it from me. But,” he lifted one of the plates and passed it to Essek, “please. I hope you will not begrudge me. I thought it might be nice...”

Essek extended a hand to take the plate from Caleb’s hands, and his fingers hovered over Caleb’s. The delicate brush of cold skin against hot startled both of them, and their eyes locked. Caleb held his gaze for a moment that seemed to stretch on, neither of them moving away, until the clatter of cutlery to their distant left broke his reverie. He threw a glare in the direction of the noise, but it was too late, and Caleb was clearing his throat and looking away again. 

“Ah, I did get you a little... a little something. It’s nothing big, just a little tool to help in your… well, whatever you might be working on in the moment. It’s - well, I am just going to let you open it now and stop talking.” Caleb’s deft fingers brought up the package that Essek had noticed on the table as he had arrived and plopped it in front of Essek. 

Essek’s hands hesitated over it for a second, until Caleb gave him an encouraging nod and smile. He turned his attention to the package: it was wrapped in unassuming brown paper, but there was string wrapped around it in a neat bow as well as three small buttons decorating it. Essek delicately pulled on the string, releasing the bow, and the thick brown paper nearly unfolded on its own. Inside of it lay a brown book, shining and leathery, as well as a note. He glanced up and saw Caleb studiously examining his spoon. Bringing his gaze back to the note, Essek deciphered the scrawling chicken scratch: 

Dearest Essek,
May this journal be of use in all of your projects, whatever they may be. You are a bright man and you deserve support in your endeavours, and what little I can do to help, please know that I always will. — Caleb Widogast

Essek blinked and schooled away the fond, tender smile that threatened to escape him. Instead, he delicately lifted the note and set it on the table next to him, smoothing it once with a longing brush of his fingertips. His attention now back on the package, he lifted the journal out up and marveled at its make. Its leather surface was worked into a supple yet sturdy cover, and opening it revealed that the journal was sewn masterfully. It lay open on its own when Essek placed it flat on the table and ran a curious finger down its spine. He flipped a few pages admiratively. 

“This is...this is very well made. Where did you find such a masterful bookbinder? If my eyes do not deceive me, this is not something you can find in a normal store.” He closed the book again to look at its cover and ran his hand over it, relishing in the texture of the leather. 

“I should not think so,” Caleb laughed, and when Essek looked up, he ran a hand behind his neck. “I picked Midori paper because I know you like using fountain pens. There shouldn’t be any feathering with most pigment inks like the ones you use, and bleedthrough should be very minimal.” 

Essek’s eyes widened. “You had this custom made?” When Caleb avoided his question in favor of just chuckling again, Essek corrected himself, lips parting in amazement. “Did you make this?” He was rewarded with a pleased nod. 

“Caleb. This is…” Unable to mask his bewilderment and awe, he looked back down at the journal, opened it once more and noted all of the little details that had escaped him during his first look. He brought the book up to his eye level and examined the stitching, now noticing the personality of Caleb’s handiwork in the way that the signatures had been bound. Gods, he sighed internally, it even smelled like Caleb.

When the thought crossed his mind, he had a moment of weakness and brought the book even closer, inhaling deeply and closing his eyes. His focus was disrupted by Caleb’s chuckle, which had a fond note to it.

He put the book back on the table, trying to mask his embarrassment. He focused on the journal, caressing its cover and flipping pages, picking back the little note that Caleb had addressed to him. He read it until he found the words he wanted to say.

“The same goes for you, Caleb. I hope you know that.”

He lifted his eyes and saw Caleb blink in confusion. “Was?”

Essek exhaled, then twirled the note in his hand again. “I will always do whatever I can do to help you and support you, whatever it is you wish to accomplish.” Caleb’s confused expression melted into a warm smile. Still, Essek felt the need to justify himself. “You are… incredibly talented, and I believe that you will shine in whatever you decide to commit yourself to.”

Caleb was silent for a moment, then nodded slowly but emphatically. He radiated happiness, and Essek wanted nothing other than to bask in that light.

Then, Caleb lowered his head and his mood seemed to change. He gave a rueful chuckle. “Well – we’ll see.” He lifted his head back and rolled his eyes to the side. “I have not really accomplished anything in the past years. Not since leaving the Empire. Though I am grateful for your support, Essek,” he added, but his expression still held a tinge of self-deprecation which Essek was now familiar with. He hated to see it.

“Caleb,” he chastised softly, “a bright mind like yours… surely, you must have plans, ideas for the future?”

Caleb shrugged. “I should get some kind of formal training in something. My incomplete foreign degree is worth nothing here.”

Essek cocked his head. “Have you been looking at university programs? I hear the Marble Tomes University has an excellent medicine program; perhaps you could get some classes recognized?”

Caleb sighed. “I enjoyed medicine, but I am not sure that it is the right field for me anymore.” Essek remained silent, inviting him to continue, and Caleb gestured, palms up, at nothing in particular as he explained himself. “It simply is such a demanding, draining, religiously intense field, and… I cannot say that I see myself becoming a generalist and settling down for a routine after finishing my studies. I wanted to be a researcher, and work in academia. But I have mellowed, Essek, since I left the Empire. I was an ambitious young man, motivated to be just as cutthroat as my classmates and colleagues. Now…” Caleb slumped forward slightly, but he didn’t seem downcast; instead, it seemed like he was freed from a constraint neither of them had been able to see before. 

As he continued, his motions seemed more flexible, more natural and flowing, exemplifying his argument. “Now, Essek, I am simply… looking for happiness. I want to do some good around me, and I want to surround myself with kind people. I want to be able to make decisions, to not submit myself to any arrogant boss who dictates my comings and goings. I want to keep learning and work on interesting things, but I don’t care about how groundbreaking they might be. I want good working conditions, so that I can come home and be well, and be at peace.” He breathed a quiet laugh and his eyes fluttered down to settle somewhere behind Essek’s shoulder. “I wonder what is softening me like this. Age, perhaps.”

Essek lowered his head until he came into Caleb’s line of sight. “Life experience, rather. I think.”

Caleb held his gaze, and Essek leaned forward and lay his hand on the table, right between the two of them. “This is what I meant, Caleb. You can have this, too. Being brilliant does not mean you are doomed to be a shooting star. I think you are wiser than you give yourself credit for.” Caleb’s eyes fell down to stare at the hand he was extending between them, and Essek withdrew it promptly as though Caleb’s stare burned his skin. “You can do anything, Caleb.”

Caleb breathed out slowly, and lifted his hand slowly until it rested, splayed, in the exact same spot where Essek had laid his a moment ago.

“You certainly make me feel like it, Essek.”

They were silent for a few beats, before Caleb frowned slightly in thought. “You know – when I said I wanted to do some good around me, that is… that is what I want to do. I want to make people around me to get that same kind of support you offer me.”

Essek hummed pensively. “You know... I do not think you see it like I do, Caleb, but you are a leader.”

When Caleb cocked his head curiously, a hint of disbelief dancing on his lips, Essek explained himself. “I have mentioned it before. People listen when you talk. You connect with people on a personal level. They appreciate it. And more importantly – you genuinely want to make things better for them. I think it shows.”

Caleb nodded slowly, expression sober. “I do not think I could ever… manage people, though. I could not be an executive, or anything like that.” He shook his head, then shrugged. “I would want to be a facilitator, an ally and a friend - not a decision-maker and enforcer.”

Essek acquiesced enthusiastically. “This is exactly it. It makes me think of something. Have you ever heard of software development frameworks?” Caleb made an approximative motion with his hand, so Essek leaned closer and explained. “A lot of forward-thinking companies in Rosohna have been renouncing traditional management methods and top-down development processes, because they stifle creativity and limit the developers’ versatility. Instead, they embrace the chaos and unpredictability that comes with creation, and they let their teams manage themselves in a collaborative way where everyone is on equal footing.”

Caleb’s brows rose in curiosity. “Does it work?”

Essek shrugged. “I have never worked in any of those companies, but I can think of a few important ones who have made it part of their identity for awhile now. And Caleb,” he added, though his friend’s attention was centered on him already. “Those teams need facilitators. People who have a sharp wit, who are good at reading others, who will look out for the well-being of the team. It’s an actual job,” he assured, “and there are trainings and certifications you can acquire for it.”

Caleb looked contemplative for several seconds, before humming an acknowledgement. “And you think,” he began with a low voice, “that I could do a decent job at it?”

Essek’s eyes bore sternly into Caleb’s. “I think you would be wonderful at it. And… it is an emerging field. There is much need for people who are trained in such a capacity. You can start as a junior, and progressively take on more important teams. I think you would take to it like a duck to water.”

A nervous laugh seemed to take over Caleb, and Essek frowned. “I am being serious, Caleb.”

Caleb nodded. “I know, my friend. I just…” he shrugged. “Going back to get a certification and start a new career feels like a mountain I am not ready to climb right now. I am happy and... comfortable in this job.” He held a hand up defensively. “I know, you are not the only one who tells me I should be looking for something else. But Essek, I like this job. It isn’t perfect, but I get to work with you, and we get to do good things with all of our friends and work on making things better. I still carry wounds from my past, wounds that have not fully healed. And Rosohna is…” He interrupted himself and flapped a hand, gesturing at nothing in particular. “It is a lot, all of this. I am happy to look forward in the short-term and ignore the long-term for now. And… anyway, you and I, we have an important presentation to focus on today, ja?”

Essek inhaled and leaned back into his seat, acknowledging that Caleb was changing the subject but letting him do so. He had said his part, and he could only hope that Caleb would not fault him for overstepping. He knew himself to be right, of course - but perhaps Caleb needed time to see it.

They sipped their coffees and ate in companionable silence, and Essek felt his limbs tingle with just the slightest hint of nerves as his mind veered towards the presentation they would have to give this morning – Caleb was doing most of the talking, and he was certain he’d do great, but Essek hoped the stakeholders would be pleased with the direction of their work. Sometimes, he felt like they were never satisfied – the improvements he was suggesting were always too expensive, too demanding of human resources, too big, too ambitious. He sighed and picked at his plate with a fork. His mood was becoming gloomy, and he was mulling over his own shortcomings when his elbow hit a soft, leathery surface and he was brought back to the present by the sight of the beautiful journal Caleb had bound for him, laying on the corner of their table.

He lifted his eyes towards Caleb and saw that the man was looking to his right, chin propped in his hand and a small smile dancing on his lips, apparently oblivious to Essek’s inner monologue.

Essek set his fork down and guided a hand towards the gift, letting his dark fingers run over its supple cover again. He could not help a smile from rising to his lips once more as he remembered the contents of the note.

“I am glad you like it,” came Caleb’s voice, and when he glanced at his friend again, he saw that Caleb was staring at him, chin in his hand still, eyes soft and fond.

“I really do,” he managed to croak out, taken by surprise. Caleb’s affectionate gaze made his heart hurt. “It is… a wonderful gift.”

His sentence was cut short by a loud buzz from his phone resting on the corner of the table. He rolled his eyes at it, offended by the intrusion.

Caleb’s phone next to it buzzed as well, though, and that was enough to piquetheir curiosity. Essek extended his hand over his now-empty plate and grabbed his own phone, Caleb mirroring his movements; when he opened the notification, his heart skipped a beat. The email came from work, as he’d suspected. He glanced up towards Caleb, who was reading avidly with a focused expression. Essek returned his eyes towards his screen.

Good news team,

After several weeks of sifting through candidates to find the best possible person to fill in the role of DAS, I am pleased to tell you that the hiring committee has made their choice.

I would ask you to please welcome warmly your new director of administrative services - 

Essek blinked and read over the name twice, picking at his own memory to see if it was one he had seen before. The answer was inconclusive, and a quick look at Caleb’s expression told him he was approaching this with open curiosity - there was no hint of recognition there either. He continued parsing the email for more information on their future boss. 

- I have personally met him and can say that he will be a wonderful addition to the team. He will meet with you next Monday morning, after which he will be taking over my place as the permanent director of administrative services.

I would ask that you please keep this information within the team; it will be officially announced on Wednesday afternoon to the rest of your colleagues. In the meantime, do not hesitate to come to me should you have any questions or concerns. I will be available to support the transition, and I welcome you to collaborate openly with him to further the success of Kryn & Kryn and its mission.

Best,

Zethris Olios

Essek put down his phone and let out the breath he’d been holding. Glancing up, he saw that Caleb was still holding his, but looking up at him with a tentative smile.

“Onwards, I suppose,” Caleb murmured.

Seeing his friend take the news in stride like this melted any uncertainty Essek might have had in his heart.

“Onwards,” he agreed, and Caleb’s smile widened, emboldening him. “Olios seems pleased, and I trust her judgement, even though she probably was not the one to make the final decision.”

“Yes. Stability will be good. I can keep working on projects with you.”

Essek leaned forward. “Do you want to find him on social media and scope out his profile? We can try and see what experience he has working with IT.” Caleb nodded enthusiastically and moved closer to the wall, tapping the seat next to him on the booth. Essek felt the tips of his ears redden, but he was weak and would not pass up such an opportunity; he sprung out of his own seat and slid next to him. A heady feeling overcame him and he tried to set it aside to deal with later, instead focusing on pulling up the profile of their new director on his phone browser.

When he found what he was looking for, he passed his phone over to Caleb, but instead of taking it out of his hands, Caleb’s hand came behind his to hold the phone as well. It was a delicate hold, just brushing over his hand, and for a moment, all sound was gone to Essek’s ears, the proximity to Caleb taking all the attention he might possibly have given to any other stimulus.

He forced himself to inhale deeply and tune back into his other senses. Caleb was humming excitedly and scrolling down on their new director’s profile. It went almost too fast for Essek, but he did manage to catch the elven man’s name: Ludinus Da’leth, CPA, MST.

Essek barely took in the profile picture - his mind was busy thinking about how close he was to Caleb - so close he could smell him, touch his hair, kiss him if he wanted. The thought made his heart swell with warmth, and he did not have the strength to berate himself for it. He inched closer to Caleb and focused his attention back on the screen and on Caleb’s enthusiastic comments. Good things were to come, he was sure of it.

Chapter Text

With a satisfying crunch, Caleb planted his shovel in a snowbank next to his apartment’s front door. Yesterday evening had given them several inches of powdery snow, and he and Veth had not gotten around to shoveling it properly until tonight. At least, it will be done when she comes home, he congratulated himself.

He came back inside and hung his coat, mittens and scarf, keeping the last item out of Frumpkin’s playful reach. It was, after all, the blue scarf that Essek had loaned him nearly eight weeks ago now and refused to take back ever since.

Wearing Essek’s scarf, as it turned out, was an excellent motivator for Caleb to wear a scarf at all, used as he was to going around bare necked even in the coldest climes. He wondered if his friend had used that tactic knowingly, and a smirk danced on his lips at the thought.

He looked around the kitchen and heaved a sigh, setting about cleaning up so that he and Veth could start making food when she came home.

He was halfway through his task when Frumpkin jumped off the countertop he had been laying on and dashed to the door. A few loud meows resounded near the front door, and Caleb shut the faucet and listened for the clinking of keys in the lock. A moment later, Veth was inside, and, when he bent backwards a little, he could see Frumpkin rubbing his face insistently on her boots. Unfortunately, snow got in the cat’s face, and he sneezed before trotting off, offended.

Caleb picked up a dish towel and wiped his hands on it before walking over to greet his roommate and friend. Veth set her backpack down and began pulling her boots off, but the motion nearly toppled her over. With a shriek, she grabbed onto Caleb’s arm to stabilize herself, but her reach was too short, and she fell down with nothing in her hands but the dishcloth Caleb had set on his arm.

Both of them looked at each other, and Veth erupted into a giggle. Caleb chuckled as well and leaned forward to help her up again.

“Should I take this as a sign that you have been drinking again?” Caleb teased.

Veth’s eyes crinkled, and she shook her head. “You know I don’t drink before supper anymore.” She winked at him, then her expression changed, and she gestured towards the door. “Caleb, I saw you shoveled! Thank you!”

Caleb simply shrugged and stepped out of Veth’s personal space. It was not long before she was striding through the apartment, apparently beelining for the kitchen.

“It’s nothing. What do you want for supper tonight?”

A nondescript, throaty hum came from the kitchen and Caleb knew his small friend was most likely hauling herself up the countertop to check the pantry’s topmost shelves. He followed the noise and watched her rummage through them until he heard a triumphant “Ha!”

She emerged holding a can of tuna. “Tuna melts, tonight. I have a craving.”

Caleb simply nodded good-naturedly. “Tuna melts it is.”

Veth jumped off the countertop and began pulling out some bread, celery, a cutting board, and various supplies. Caleb knew this was her domain and simply resumed cleaning and drying the remaining dishes while she prepared their food to her liking.

She was laser-focused on her preparation for a few minutes, but after nibbling on a few things here and there, she seemed to lose a bit of her intensity. “So, Lebby, how was work today?”

Caleb shrugged as he swung the wet dishcloth over his shoulder again, but then remembered he was out of her line of sight.

“It was good. More of the same. I am really liking working on the software release process with Essek, even though I am a little out of my depth. There is so much to learn,” he paused for a moment to open a cupboard, letting the pots and pans inside clang together as they practically fell out of a precarious pile. He shoved a small frying pan on top of the pile and promptly closed the cupboard behind him, hearing the metal clatter inside – no matter, as long as it was safely contained.

When he lifted himself back up to his feet, Veth was looking at him and smiling. “Oh, yeah. I bet that guy teaches you all sorts of things.”

He felt his cheeks flush. “Veth,” he pleaded. She snickered and went back to her cutting board. He tried changing the subject. “It is incredible, though, seeing the difference between Bilan and Da’leth.”

Veth hummed. “Remind me who that is again? The dude from Marketing?”

“No, Veth,” Caleb rolled his eyes. “He is our new boss. Has been for three weeks now.”

Veth just shrugged. “Ah, gotcha. Yeah yeah, that dude. Sorry Caleb, there’s just so many fancy-ass elves at your workplace and I can’t keep track.”

Caleb chuckled. “Well, he is kind of fancy, I will give you that. Jester has noted that too, and her and Beauregard have nicknamed him Mister Fancy Pants.” He put away the last of the dishes and leaned on the countertop. “I honestly do not see why they seem so suspicious of him. I quite enjoy him so far. He pays attention to what is going on, instead of dozing off during meetings like Bilan used to.”

Veth huffed. “The bar’s pretty low, if you ask me.”

Caleb smirked. “That is true. But I find it nice that despite not having a background in IT, he is still very interested in what Essek, Yeza and I do on a day-to-day basis. He talks with me about the projects we have going on, sometimes, and I can tell he is genuinely interested in knowing more about them.”

Veth’s head turned curiously. “Yeza – is that the, uh, the halfling you told me about? The cute one in the picture?”

Caleb hummed in agreement but continued without paying much attention to the question. “I just like it. He does not try to meddle, he lets us keep going with what we are doing, but he has interest in our little team. Sometimes, he even asks me for my genuine opinion on things, just as he does for Essek. He is charming, and not outwardly racist. I know the bar is low on that one,” he interrupted himself when Veth opened her mouth, holding a hand up, “but I will take what I can get, my friend.”

He walked toward the table and set two plates on its surface. “Essek trusts him, even if Beauregard doesn’t. I tend to think he is a good addition to our team so far.”

“Do you know why Beau hates him?” Veth asked, checking to see if the oven was the right temperature.

Caleb sat down. “I have no idea. I think she just mentioned Dairon taking an instant dislike to Da’leth and it’s been tense between those two ever since. But I do not mind,” he added, twirling his fork between his fingers. “She dislikes everyone. I like Da’leth so far. He listens to me.”

Veth rolled her eyes as she shoved their meals in the oven. “Is there anything that man can’t do,” she responded sarcastically. Once the oven was shut, she turned towards him, face serious. “Caleb, be careful about trusting too easily. He is your boss, and he is a part of your team, but he does not answer to the team. He answers to someone else, and he probably also has interests of his own.”

Caleb’s mood sank and she seemed to pick up on it but continued, nonetheless. “I mean, come on. Does he ever say something you don’t like? Something that makes you or Essek a little wary?”

Caleb huffed. “No, not really. He used to talk much more with Essek, and sometimes he would ask things that made him wary, but then he stopped.”

Veth cocked her head curiously. “Like what?”

“He used to ask: Is this really necessary? Is this project a good use of our resources? – but, Veth, those are normal questions to be asking. Essek assured him it was the best course of action. And when Da’leth would ask me, I would tell him about what calculations Essek had made. It has been a little while since they have had such a conversation, anyway. I would chalk that up to him arriving and seeing we do things differently. He is allowed to ask questions.” Veth’s eyes were following the fork he was twirling in his hands, and he set it back down on the table, feeling petty – before he reflexively reached for his knife to do the same. “He has stepped back, and he is mostly… observing, while we keep working like we always have. He seems to have let these subjects go – and perhaps he trusts us. He says things are going very well, and he keeps insisting on that fact.”

Veth frowned. “Does he say, like… oh Caleb, you did a good job. Congratulations, things are going very well, or is it more like, oh, I don’t know that we should invest in this. Things are going very well after all, no need for that?”

Caleb snapped. “Does it matter? He obviously trusts us, because he is stepping back and not constantly meddling. He likes to discuss ongoing projects with me, and hear about how they evolve, and why we do them. He tells me he hopes I can take on more responsibilities. He even offered to see if the company would finance a semester of accounting training for me.” Veth frowned at that, and opened her mouth, but he cut her off. “Veth, please.” He threw his arms into the air and dropped the knife in the process. It clanged loudly on the plate. “Just this once, can you be happy for me?”

Veth closed her mouth and they both fell silent. She looked at him, and though he could detect a hint of hurt in her gaze, it was still mostly filled with the ever-present concern he wished she would simply set aside. He did not need her constant mothering, and her worry was stifling at times. Why would she not let him simply enjoy the things that were going well in his life?

The oven beeped and Veth looked away. She sighed and opened it to reveal their supper, before reaching for oven mitts. Caleb ran a hand over his face and exhaled slowly. He grabbed both of their plates and carried them over to her. She kept her gaze down as she deposited the tuna melts onto each of their plates. He brought those back to the table and slouched into his chair.

Veth took her time, washing her hands and setting the oven mitts back where they should be, before she finally sat down. “I just think,” she began slowly, “that it’s a little strange that your new boss talks to you about these things. It’s like he’s trying to make you comfortable, so that you trust him and give him information he should be counting on Essek for. From my experience, it seems like he’s… going over Essek.”

Caleb huffed. His answer came clipped and colder than he meant it. “Since when have you cared about Essek?”

She blinked, surprised at the tone, or at the question – Caleb wasn’t sure. She then frowned and looked down, attacking her plate with vigor. “Since you told me you did.”

Two more weeks passed, and Caleb had gotten his wish: it was the last he and Veth spoke about his work. He was left to enjoy it, just as he had asked.

And yet, his and Veth’s conversation still nagged at him sometimes. He paid closer attention to Da’leth now, was warier when they talked alone. He also began to listen closely whenever Beauregard went on a frustrated tirade against him. Still, he found nothing incriminating.

He even found himself redirecting Da’leth towards Essek once, as a test, even though he technically had the answer for his boss. Da’leth had, of course, taken it in stride, and thanked him with grace and a charming smile. Caleb hadn’t dared complete his test and ask Essek if they had discussed the matter afterwards, dreading a negative answer that might confirm Veth’s doubts.

A few days prior to now, Yasha had planned for a day off, and Beauregard asked Caleb to help out with that week’s invoicing. In the course of his work, he came across three new providers he had never seen before. A quick search revealed they were network security specialists and software developers specializing in operations management, submitting bids for work with Kryn & Kryn. He frowned: those bids seemed rather high. Big contracts, then.

He tried to remember when Essek might have mentioned them, but it eluded him – maybe he hadn’t been made aware of them at all. The documents weren’t invoices yet, simply contractor’s submissions. Perhaps Essek was still considering a variety of options, and he hadn’t wanted to explain them to Caleb until the idea was clearer in his mind? Of course, Essek was allowed to do that – it was his job, after all. And yet, the thought pinched at Caleb’s heart: Essek usually told him about everything that was going on.

Caleb was in a gloomy mood for the rest of the day and avoided discussing the matter with Essek altogether. Given some space, the event was eventually forgotten, and Caleb went back to trying to appreciate their newfound departmental stability. Still, a cloud of uncertainty hung over him, and he could not shake it off, no matter how much he tried.

Today, though – today was a good day. Essek, Yeza and Caleb had gone to Melora’s Grove for a quick lunch together, and such outings always brought Caleb’s mood up. The sun was shining, and it was warm enough that Yeza had suggested opening a window and letting the fresh winter breeze push away the stale office air. Therefore, Caleb now wore Essek’s blue scarf and a pair of fingerless gloves as he revised some data for a presentation. Yeza was humming a quiet tune while reading something on his computer, and Caleb let himself be lulled by it for a minute – it was, after all, the very end of the day. They would be free to go home in a little more than a half-hour, just after their weekly departmental meeting with Da’leth.

Perhaps he could tempt Essek to supper tonight at the Nestled Nook. His friend had been animated over lunch, gesturing enthusiastically as he explained something to Yeza, and Caleb had tuned out some of the explanation in favor of just… taking in the view. Essek was a naturally reserved person, and he opened up like that only around people he truly trusted. Every time, it was a joy and a wonder to watch him lift his barriers and show who he really was. So over lunch today, while Essek’s attention was bent on explaining some obscure development design pattern and tracing diagrams on his napkin with his finger for Yeza to understand him, Caleb had taken the opportunity to… observe.

He’d noted how Essek’s hair, immaculate as always, bounced softly on his scalp when he’d talk emphatically. His soft curls, Caleb was aware, felt like a cloud to the touch; he had imagined himself running his hands through it more often than he’d admit. Watching Essek also brought his attention to how his voice changed pitch during his explanations. His lower, steady voice was reserved for conference calls and meetings with executives; this excited, quieter, higher voice was one he used around his friends. Caleb’s eyes had followed down past passionate violet eyes and had lingered over his friend’s lips. He’d noted how Essek tended to worry at them with sharp canines when he was concentrating. While watching him talk, Caleb could tell exactly where the canine had broken soft skin last. He had briefly imagined himself kissing them, in the past, and found the daydream harder and harder to resist as he and Essek had grown closer. But he resisted nevertheless; he valued their friendship too much to risk scaring Essek away again.

He shooed away the imaginary feeling of soft lips against his and inhaled deeply, back in the present. Yeza’s humming had stopped. A quick glance at the bottom right of his screen told him that they had better make their way to the departmental meeting if they wanted to avoid being late.

He saved his work and shut down his computer before rising and stretching. Yeza did the same and walked over to the office window. Still feeling listless from his afternoon daydream, Caleb rubbed the emerging scruff on his cheeks before opening the office door.

He and Yeza passed by Essek’s office, but it was empty – he had not seen Essek since their pleasant lunch together today, in fact. Perhaps he was simply working elsewhere. Yeza came to a different conclusion though, and quickened his pace at the sight, turning his head towards him to mumble “I hope they’re not all waiting for us!”

When they entered the meeting room, Beauregard and Yasha were there, but Da’leth had not arrived yet. Essek was nowhere in sight when the clock hit four, so Caleb fished out his phone and sent him a little reminder: The meeting starts soon. Are you coming?

He closed his phone and set it on his lap, rather expecting Essek to come in any second now.

Instead, several seconds later, his phone buzzed with Essek’s response: No, not this time.

Caleb frowned, but closed his phone and let it go as Da’leth entered the meeting room. Perhaps Essek had left early, or perhaps he was needed elsewhere this time. Departmental meetings were usually rather tame, and nothing of importance was ever announced during them anyway.

Caleb folded his hands together and let them rest on his lap as Da’leth greeted them. The usual pleasantries were exchanged, and he nodded along idly when Da’leth began talking.

“Now, I have had several discussions with Leylas Kryn about the future of our department. I believe we have an excellent team, and there are many things that can be done to further the mission and values of Kryn & Kryn.” Da’leth paused and looked towards Yasha, giving her a mellow smile, then scanning over each one of them as he continued. “Everybody around this table brings a specific kind of expertise to our department, and I trust you all to maintain the same levels of transparency and professionalism that you have shown in the past weeks since I’ve joined you. Truly, I could not think of a better team to work with.”

Across the table, Caleb noticed Beauregard’s usual scowl directed at Da’leth. A glance to his right showed Yeza giving their boss a nod of acknowledgement, and Yasha was listening intently, her heterochromatic eyes unreadable. When Caleb looked back at Da’leth, the elf was looking at him with an effortless smile.

“After my discussions with Leylas and deliberations with the Board, a decision has been made concerning the structure of our team.” Da’leth blinked and leaned back confidently. “We believe that everyone should be allowed to reach their full potential. In a small team like this, hierarchy can be more harmful than beneficial, and that is why I aspire to promote teamwork and collective intelligence within each of you.

“Attaining these objectives means that Leylas and I pay special care to the strategic value of our resources. I have given great thought to what everyone in this room brings to the table, and I have looked at what different expertise we can gain from partnering with specialized external firms. I believe you are quite familiar with Damali Development…”

Beauregard’s scowl had turned into an exasperated frown as Da’leth spoke, and Caleb remembered how she faulted their director for his veiled, subtle speech. She interrupted impatiently, pushing him to get to the point. “Yeah, of course we know Fjord’s company. The dude’s been working with us for years.”

Da’leth turned towards her voice and Caleb caught a glimpse of change in his gaze; while it had been mellow and inviting when directed towards Caleb, it shifted to ice for Beauregard. “Indeed, Miss Lionett.” He paused for a beat and Caleb watched Beauregard’s scowl deepen.

“You will be pleased, I am sure, to know that Leylas and I have decided to prolong and expand his contract to network administration support,” Da’leth continued, turning a mollifying smile towards Yeza. “Your expertise, Mr. Brenatto, coupled with their manpower, will ensure our network is safe and secure.”

Yeza gave a curt nod, but it seemed hesitant when he answered. “Well, uh, thanks, Mr. Da’leth.” He fidgeted with his pen as he spoke.

The director’s smile was pleased. “Yes.” He looked towards Caleb again. “We have partnerships aligned with Briarwoods Consulting & Analytics as well as Nuthaleus Operations Management. The Board has decided that outsourcing was the solution for a small business like ours, so that we may focus our internal resources on what matters.”

He then scanned over his employees’ faces before continuing, lingering just so over Caleb’s. “Of course, if Kryn & Kryn is to benefit from various consultants’ expertise, some difficult decisions sometimes need to be made. After examining several avenues, the conclusion has been that there is no more need for an internal IT manager. As such, Mr. Thelyss’s position has been closed and he no longer works for Kryn & Kryn.” 

Caleb’s world went quiet. Seconds stretched into minutes.

Da’leth’s eyes still bore into him, a mollifying smile plastered on his graceful features. Caleb painstakingly tore his gaze away from Da’leth. In their errancy, his eyes met Beauregard’s. The two of them stared at each other, expressions slack and eyes wide. A stray lock fell in front of her eyes and she made no move to bat it away.

The only sound he could hear was of his own pulse pounding against his eardrums in an unsteady, erratic pace. In his apathy, it nearly eluded Caleb, but everybody in the room had fallen quiet and absolutely still. 

Chapter Text

The only sound he could hear was of his own pulse pounding against his eardrums in an unsteady, erratic pace. In his apathy, it nearly eluded Caleb, but everybody in the room had fallen quiet and absolutely still.

Caleb and Beauregard stared at each other, expressions hollow, for what felt like hours -  but Caleb knew that rationally, barely a few seconds passed before Da’leth began talking again. His ears rang while he attempted to bring himself back to reality. Da’leth’s words swam through the thick air as if he was underwater. Beauregard tore her gaze from his and looked directly at Da’leth, eyes still wide.

He followed her stare and felt himself emerging from the water, Da’leth’s words ringing clear and sharp once more in his mind.

“…strategic planning for the next quarter. As for yearly salary adjustments, they will be announced two months from now. Do come to my office if there is anything you would like to discuss.” Da’leth scanned the faces of his employees and gave a low, brief hum, as if reluctantly acknowledging something.

He continued, his voice lower and mellow, with an almost-soothing quality to it. “Seeing a colleague move on to other projects is always a stressful experience. I will be here to support each of you in that process. You are each,” his eyes lingered on Caleb, “valuable assets to this organization and Kryn & Kryn cares for your wellbeing. Should you experience any distress, the employee help program offers up to four sessions of individual psychotherapy. You may refer yourselves to the employee guide if you have any questions; such employee benefits are detailed in its chapter on Wellness and Mental Health.”

Caleb looked away. Beauregard exhaled loudly, and he could imagine the fiery glare she was giving their boss. And she would be right to wonder how he dared to suggest that this was now their problem to deal with individually. Despite that, Caleb was too rattled to react when Da’leth thanked them for their time and rose to his feet. A few more seconds passed and he was out, the door to the conference room was wide open, and not a single other team member would move.

Caleb gently forced his fingers to flex and relax, wriggling sensation back into his limbs. He could not process these events now, not here, not right away. It was too unexpected – he felt as though he had been backhanded. He had trusted Da’leth. He had hoped for good things.

He shook himself off from that train of thought and shut his eyes tightly. He felt his posture crumble and brought his palms to his forehead, resting his elbows on the table – digging into its wooden surface with obstination. His eyes were dry and his mind, full of questions.

“Caleb, are you okay?” came Yasha’s soft voice. He looked up at her and noted the genuine worry that saddened her features. Beauregard was looking down as well, but when she glanced at Yasha, she wore a heartbroken expression he could imagine weighing on his face too.

“Ja, Yasha. Danke,” he deflected. Admitting the opposite would open a floodgate of emotions he was unable to process in the moment.

Yeza spoke up softly. “None of us are okay.”

Yasha simply nodded and turned towards Beauregard, who buried herself in Yasha’s shoulder. There, she seemed to inhale deeply and find her bearings.

She then leaned back, snarling, and punched the table. Having heard of Beauregard’s abilities in that respect, Caleb thought she had probably held back quite a bit of strength from that hit; nevertheless, there came a muffled cracking sound.

Yasha let out a soft Oh and delicately grasped Beauregard’s hand, but the human barely let her do so before beginning to gesticulate angrily. When he looked back at the table, Caleb saw that there was a subtle depression in the wood where she had punched it.

“This guy. This guy is an absolute… a hypocrite. A fuckwad. A -a, a motherfucking dickhead. How could he – he just – aargh!” she grabbed her own hair and Caleb’s heart picked up its pace.

He understood Beauregard’s raw anger and wanted to be there to support her – but this was not a good moment for him. Da’leth’s words were still bouncing around his head, and he couldn’t quite believe they were true yet.

A quick glance at the clock revealed that he was free to go. He took his notepad and pen and quietly walked out of the room, paying little attention to Beauregard’s tirade – which slowed to a halt when he left. He went down the stairs without looking back.

Like a ghost, he went through the motions of packing his things. He passed by Jester and didn’t respond to her cheerful See you tomorrow - if he had, he would have needed to explain his mood, and he was neither able nor allowed to share that information at the moment.

He entered the elevator out of habit – Essek avoided the stairs – and reached towards his neck to loosen his tie. If his motions had been dragging and dispirited so far, when his tie got stuck around his neck, he began to pull at it with unusual vehemence. His frustration escalated rapidly and when he finally tore the garment off from his neck, he forcibly chucked it at the wall in front of him.

The elevator dinged and he recentered himself, inhaling tersely. He picked up the tie from the floor and brushed it against his thigh; then, he shut his eyes, exhaled, and reached in his bag for his blue scarf.

He donned it like a shield and kept a tight hand on its fabric as he strode out of the building, bunching the silk in his hand as though it might be some sort of lifeline. A car honked at him when he crossed the street without looking. He ducked his head in the scarf and walked faster, taking a deep breath of whatever remnants of Essek’s scent he could find in the blue fabric.

He had almost entered the parking garage when he realized where his steps had led him. Of course, he thought. But he wouldn’t be hopping in the car with Essek tonight. That was… over, now.

Someone pushed past him into the entrance to the garage and he realized he’d been standing in the way for several seconds now. He spun around, channeling the same irritation he’d found in his gut earlier in the elevator, and strode towards the subway’s entrance.

However, the frustration melted away as soon as it had emerged, and he was left overwhelmed with distress as the impact of Da’leth’s decision began to take form in his mind. His step faltered and he brought the scarf over his mouth, and a choked sound made its way up his throat.

Caleb’s heart pounded faster and he was suddenly very aware of the sea of people making their evening transit home. Drow, goblinoids and the occasional other races speed-walked past his slowing form, eager as they must have been to get home after a hard day’s work. None of them were aware of what had just happened. Caleb’s eyes scanned his surroundings and found an empty backstreet in which he promptly ducked.

He leaned on the wall for a few minutes, willing his heart to calm down. He was a mess of emotions – that much, he was aware of. He just wanted to be alone to process the last few hours. He would need to push down whatever threatened to spill and deal with it once he was home.

Out of habit, his fingers found his phone in his pocket and brought it up unprompted. Caleb stared at the screen for a moment, then sighed. There was no message from Essek.

Of course, he berated himself. If Caleb was so affected by the news, how much harder it must be for Essek, who had just lost his own job?

He brought his other shaking hand to the device and began typing a short message, but stopped himself. Who was to say that Essek would even want to hear from him? Who was to say that Essek didn’t blame him? After all, Caleb had always been open and trusting towards Da’leth. What if he had given the elf information that had led to Essek’s demise? Caleb paled and his pulse quickened, and he felt himself spiral into panic.

No, no, nein, nein. He pressed further into the brick wall behind him and ran a gloveless hand over the brick, closing his eyes and focusing on the rough texture. He breathed slowly and traced the pattern of the brick over and over again with his fingers, counting to ground himself. Eins, zwei, drei, vier.

It took him a few minutes, but he avoided losing himself to the rushing of his heart. Numbly, he slunk to the ground and sat there, feeling the cold snow through his pants. His phone screen glared at him as he wondered what to do. Should he message Essek or give him space?

Caleb closed his eyes and rubbed at his face. He visualized Essek, and saw him alone, wallowing in frustration and self-doubt.

Then, in his mind’s eye, Essek sighted Caleb and his expression softened into something more peaceful, if still mournful. Caleb thought back to all of the times when Essek had felt pained, frustrated, fearful or sad. He remembered when Essek would complain to him about work, about home, about himself, and how somehow, somehow, Caleb’s presence had been welcomed and honored and… appreciated. He remembered making a frustrated Essek laugh, or making him roll his eyes, shake out a strand of hair from his delicate features and smile ruefully. Essek’s face sometimes seemed like all it wanted to say was: “It may not always be easy, but it is easier with you.” And then Essek would lean in, and blink slowly, and his left ear would twitch as though it expected to be resting on Caleb’s shoulder. As though Caleb was a safe harbor in times of tempest.

Caleb huffed and shook his head – those last few thoughts reeked of wishful thinking. But at least, he could be sure of one thing: he had never left Essek alone before, and starting now would be most unkind to a friendship they obviously both held dear. He lit his phone again and typed.

Caleb: Essek, we received the news.

Caleb: Everyone is shocked and apalled.

Caleb: I worry about you. Are you alright?

After a moment’s hesitation, he added a little more.

Caleb: You are dear to me, and I want to be there for you, if you will allow it.

He sent the last message like a bottle into the ocean, expectation-free; a piece of his heart was now placed in Essek’s beautiful, purple hands for him to handle however he wished. Caleb remained there for several minutes and stared at his phone screen as his messages remained unanswered.

He shook himself out of his contemplative trance when the snow below him began to seep cold humidity through his pants. With a grunt, he hauled himself to his feet, still groggy from his earlier panic, and brushed off the wet snow. When he glanced down the alleyway, he was relieved to note that foot traffic seemed to have slowed down a little. He considered calling a taxi for a moment, but imagined himself having to make small talk and shuddered at the thought.

Instead, he heaved a sigh, and into the underground subway he went. He did his very best to not check his phone for a reply, but once in awhile, someone would brush past him or the ground would hum and shake with a passing subway car, and Caleb's heart would leap into his throat with hope, leading him to check his phone. Essek did not respond, and Caleb came home with a growing tightness in his heart.

Fortunately, Veth was still at work when he arrived – he did not think he had it within himself to explain anything quite yet. Not even to himself.

Caleb closed the front door behind himself and dropped his keys on a shelf without a glance. They slid off and fell to the ground in a loud clatter, spooking Frumpkin away before he could greet his master with his usual enthusiasm. Caleb ignored it and sighed before stepping forward slowly and heavily, as though his coat weighed a thousand pounds on his frail shoulders.

What now? Could he simply go to sleep? It was far too early and Veth would fuss if she thought he might be sick. Besides, he was neither hungry nor tired. Just… numb. He looked down at his muddy, wet boots and realized that his day had left him feeling grimy and disgusting, though he may be neither of those things objectively.

He spotted Frumpkin, who was perched on top of the couch and eyeing him curiously. Caleb ran his hand through his own hair before shedding his coat, throwing it on a hook and kicking off his boots.

“Into the shower, then,” he explained to his cat, who paid him no heed and began licking his fur with laser-sharp focus.

Caleb locked himself in the bathroom and started the hot water. He tried to avoid looking at himself in the mirror as he divested, but nevertheless caught sight of his own glum scowl. His eyes were somber and his jaw, tightly wound as though he might have expected a blow.

He dragged himself away from the forbidding sight and hopped in the shower without checking its temperature; when the scalding water scorched his skin, turning it an instant lobster-pink, he chose to ignore it and duck his head under the spray anyway.

He remained there for several minutes, eyes shut, as his body slowly adapted to the temperature. He focused on the trickle of the water down his body every time his thoughts strayed.

His body relaxed minutely as time stretched and he felt his shoulders slump, though there was no coat to blame for its weight this time. It was the accumulated burden of misplaced trust and subsequent betrayal; it was the knowledge that his friends – Yeza, Beauregard, Yasha, and soon, Jester, Fjord and everyone else – would all have a difficult time with the news, yet he was currently unable to help them through it; it was the recognition that Essek would be gone, gone, and that what had made this dreary, unsatisfying job into the best one he had ever known would now be disavowed and repudiated by Da’leth - and now, he would be back to square one.

It was the awareness that Essek might be under his own scalding hot shower, ignoring the burn of it on his own skin, and that Caleb was not there to help.

Caleb tightened his hand into a fist and pressed it against the wall, meaning to allow himself a dignified sigh of disapproval, but as he opened his mouth, it was a lonely, broken sound that came out. He surprised himself when he became unable to stop it and it turned into a mournful whimper. His shoulders shook with contained emotion.

He leaned on the side of the shower and sank to his knees. He lay crouched at the bottom of the shower, the shaking spreading to his sides and threatening to burst out of him. He settled into a ball on the cold tile, the scorching water running in rivulets on his back, steam rising and obscuring his sight. He took a deep breath of heavy, humid air. Deep within him, something clicked.

It burst out of him with a sob as he tightened his fingers through wet hair. It was clear, now. A crack in his walls, letting in the light.

He loved him. He loved Essek.

He loved him.

And he wept.

The water eventually turned cold. Caleb had quieted long ago, but remained crouching on the tile for much longer, until most of the water had evaporated from his skin. He rose, then, his hair still damp but his eyes dry as a desert – and reddened, he noted indifferently when he glanced in the mirror.

With an enormous, deep, shuddering breath, Caleb unfolded his posture and leaned on the sides of the sink. He rubbed his hands over his eyes, a disinterested motion at first – but he lost himself to it and began to rub insistently, as though it might stop the dryness or lessen how red they were.

Then, his phone buzzed against the towel he had laid it on.

His heart leapt to his throat and anxiety seized him as his phone revealed Essek’s reply.

Essek: I am fine.

Essek: I am… surprised.

Caleb frowned and his heart did not slow down. Of course Essek was not ‘fine’. Should he… pry? Or accept this obvious deflection? He was saved from having to make the decision when Essek corrected himself in a string of consecutive messages.

Essek: In fact, I’m not fine. I’m angry, and confused.

Essek: And saddened.

Essek: I suppose I must have been prophesizing when I told you that employees were disposable in the eyes of employers. Kryn & Kryn seem to have taken my words to heart.

Essek: Beauregard was right, Da’leth is a hypocrite and an opportunist. He had his own agenda all this time and I never fit into his vision for the department. After all, it is far more pleasing to the Board members to outsource everything – even if the quality of the work suffers from it. Then they can always blame the consultants and Da’leth can pretend it will be different every time.

Essek: I don’t know why I was expecting anything else.

Caleb read through Essek’s monologue, and sighed. The anxiety lessened in his chest, but was replaced with the familiar constriction of sadness around his heart. Poor Essek. He was right to be cynical; Caleb could hardly find it in himself to disagree with him.

Suddenly, he heard keys in the door and jumped. It must be Veth coming home from work – she thankfully did not know how long his shower had been, and so she had no reason to worry about him. Caleb supposed he could take a little more time in the bathroom before facing her.

Of course, life was nowhere as kind to him that day. Footsteps hurried down the corridor towards him, and a few seconds later, she was pounding on the bathroom door.

“Caleb! Caleb, I’m sorry, I know you’re in there but I really really have to pee!”

He shut his eyes tightly and exhaled. “Just a moment, Veth.” He picked up his towel and remembered that in his hurry to be alone, he had forgotten to gather clothes.

“Caleb, I swear, I will pick the lock. Let me in right now or I will pee on the floor. Your choice.”

Caleb’s eyes went wide and he wrapped the towel quickly around his naked body, cursing his lack of forethought.

“Okay, okay, I’m coming out,” he promised, and when he opened the door, he strode out as quickly as he could, looking upwards to mask his reddened eyes.

Veth, somehow, was not duped. Instead of zooming in the bathroom to relieve herself, she turned towards him and paused.

“…Lebby?”

“I am fine,” he assured, keeping his gaze and pace fixed on his room.

Veth was silent for a second, but then hummed, and he finally heard her closing the bathroom door behind herself. Caleb fled to his room and practically threw himself on the bed, exhausted.

He scanned around his room, thinking about when he had brought Essek in here to pick some new books, just a few weeks ago. He thought about shared dinners. He thought about breakfast together, and getting Essek’s order just right and making him smile. His throat clenched and he cleared it in hopes of letting the emotion pass away gently. It did no such thing.

He missed Essek already, and he had seen him just this morning. How was he going to keep seeing him? Would they manage to remain close as they were now? Would Essek want to?

Essek was embittered by the situation, and rightfully so. He had given so much, and fought for what he believed was best for the company – and now he had been rewarded, just as he had warned Caleb several months ago, by being tossed aside as soon as the wind had turned. Caleb would understand if Essek needed some space. He would understand if Essek did not want to see him, a constant reminder of Kryn & Kryn as he would become.

He was wallowing in the tragedy of his loss when Veth stomped up to his room. Caleb ran a finger under his eyes and found eyelids puffed and reddened by his earlier emotion. He almost decided to pretend that everything was fine, but when he lifted his head and met Veth’s stare, he knew it was a battle lost in advance.

Caleb lifted himself upright once more and let his shoulders slump. In his lightless room, Veth’s brown eyes pierced through him.

“Lebby. Something happened at work?” she inquired, cocking her head curiously.

 Caleb stared at the floor for a few seconds in an attempt to find his words while she came to sit on his bed next to him, still scanning his features for a hint at what might be going on.

“Caleb?”

He exhaled. “Essek lost his job.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Veth’s eyes go wide. Her jaw slackened, before she drew herself together and shuffled closer.

“Oh. I’m…” she paused, her eyes concerned. “I’m sorry, Lebby.”

Caleb wanted to snap at her, to tell her that she was right, that she had always been right; he itched to suggest that she might somehow be responsible for all of this, with her pessimistic predictions. He wanted to close his eyes and ask for time alone. He wanted to sink into the covers and immerse himself in his guilt over the situation. But he found it in himself to do neither of these things, instead silently locking eyes with Veth. Then, she rose, walked over and wrapped her arms around him, squeezing his shoulders into a tight embrace.

If at first, he stiffened under the contact, he found himself relaxing just like he had in the shower earlier. One by one, he could feel his barriers fall to dust: they had merely been pesky excuses to find a scapegoat. Of course, Veth was not responsible for any of this, and she had not deserved his anger. By snapping at her and making her into the villain, he had failed her as a friend.

“I am sorry, Veth. I should not– ” the words stuck in his throat. His friend only held him tighter.

“It’s okay, Caleb. It’s rough news, but he’ll be alright,” she said softly.

He put his hands between them and pushed her away gently. “It isn’t okay, though,” he corrected, his voice hoarse. “He was just… thrown out without any ceremony, disregarded – and I stood there, and I did not say anything. What kind of friend am I, Veth? I did not do anything!”

Veth pursed her lips and frowned. “Caleb, it’s not on you to save Essek from this. He’s a grown-ass man and he can handle himself.”

Caleb rubbed his hand on his face agitated. “But I should have done something. I– ”

“And what exactly would you have done?” she cut him, but her voice was gentle when she continued. “Some things just… happen, sometimes, and there’s no valid explanation – we just have to process and move on. There was nothing you could do, Lebby.”

With her words, a weight seemed to lift off from Caleb’s shoulders. He swallowed thickly, his throat bobbing.

“What am I going to do now, though, Veth?” he croaked, feeling vulnerable.

She closed her eyes and brought him closer again, hugging him tight and remaining silent for a little while. He relaxed against the grounding sensation and let his mind go blank for a blissful moment.

She raked her throat and spoke as she still held him. “You know – you’ve learned a lot during this past year at that fucked up company, haven’t you?”

When he realized she was expecting him to answer, he pulled away reluctantly and nodded, then followed by a sigh. “I wish it did not have to end. I do not think Da’leth will let me work on the same kind of things that I did with Essek – he most likely wants me to keep doing accounting with Beauregard and Yasha, and…” he grimaced, “I do not want to do that forever.”

To his relief, Veth nodded knowingly. “Yeah. You need a job where things move fast and you have new things to learn and be creative about. Your brain is huge, Lebby, and it needs exercise.” She poked his forehead and he huffed and smiled sadly.

“I do not want to go back into medecine.” He pressed his fingers to the edge of his eyes and shut them tightly. “I do not have it in me to submit to the pressures of academia again, my friend. I only want to be at peace.”

Veth brushed a strand of hair behind his ear and hummed in agreement. “Is there anything you were doing with Essek that you particularly liked doing? Something you could keep doing I another job, with little to no additional training?”

Caleb sighed and began shaking his head sadly, when the conversation he had had with Essek a while ago came back to mind. He froze mid-motion and frowned. Yes – it might be possible to… He could perhaps…

Veth patted his cheek with a small hand. “Hey, what are you thinking about? I know that look – you’ve got an idea. Tell me.”

Caleb blinked and refocused his gaze on Veth. “Essek had told me of a career path he thought I would do great in. It seemed… fascinating. I would be working on the software developing process. He – I thought – at the time, the thought of leaving and doing something other than working with him made me balk –” he saw Veth roll her eyes and give an exasperated, but knowing nod. He decided to ignore her reaction and keep going. “– but now, if the choice is between doing accounting under Da’leth or… perhaps getting to do more of this, and getting the chance to work with Essek again…”

She sighed dramatically and grabbed his chin. He grimaced and leaned away but she held tight. “Don’t choose a career just to work with him again, Caleb. Come on – you two are so smart,” she threw both of her hands up in exasperation, “and so stupid at the same time! You don’t need to work together to see each other. You’ve proven that already with all of the suppers and the breakfasts and whatever.” She rolled her eyes. “I swear.”

Caleb held up his hands defensively. “I meant it as an interesting possibility, Veth, nothing more. I am genuinely very interested in doing that kind of work – and it seems like there are plenty of good jobs in that field.”

She looked aside, seeming in thought. “So would you, like… go and get a minor at a Rosohna university to finish your degree, or… how would that work? Do you need anything specific for that? I mean –” she gestured broadly, “you’ve saved up. You could technically go a little while without working if you wanted to go back to school.”

Caleb gave himself a moment to think. “I could do that – but there is a specific certification that I could get to get started in the field. Perhaps with just that, and some experience, and… a recommendation, I could learn as I go instead.” He looked at his library, which now held an entire section of books on software development and bioengineering that he had accumulated over the course of the past year. “After all, I am a big learner.”

In the periphery of his vision, Veth nodded. “Just make sure to give me the number of that cute network administrator with the sideburns before you leave.”

Caleb chuckled. “Oh, Yeza? Of course. Here, hand me your phone.” As he typed Yeza’s number in Veth’s contacts, he felt his mood lift. Essek’s termination was terrible, but at least, now, it did not feel like Caleb himself was back at square one. And if he was doing okay, then he could support his friends.

“Lebby?” Veth asked. When he hummed in acknowledgement,  she continued: “Message him, if you haven’t already. I’m sure he’ll want to hear from you.”

It took him a few seconds to drag his attention from what he was doing and to understand what Veth was referring to. He blinked, and when he finally caught on, he let a smile creep on his lips.

“I already have. But – thank you, mein Freund.” He handed her phone back, and spared a glance towards his own. “It is reassuring to hear that I did the right thing.”

Veth gave him a grin filled with pride. “Oh, that’s good, that’s good. I’m proud of you for trusting in yourself and being confident!”

He thought back on his panic attack in the alleyway not but a few hours prior and scratched his growing scruff, unconvinced. “You know, I don’t know about the confidence,” he admitted, but she was already jumping off from the bed.

“I’ll leave you to –” she wiggled her fingers towards Caleb’s laptop, “– explore all of that. Text your boyfriend, let me know how it goes. I’m gonna make some food.”

Caleb felt his cheeks flush dark red, and he opened his mouth to correct her but the door slammed behind her and the response died in his throat. He grunted and ran his hands over his face before throwing himself back on the bed.

His eyes were drawn to his phone once more, and he grabbed it and skimmed through his conversation with Essek once more.

Today was not a good day to talk to Essek about his own plans, especially when he himself still needed to do some research to validate those – but at least he could be there for him and support him through his grief, for now. They were friends, and he would not abandon Essek so easily.

Chapter Text

“I think I am going to leave this job.”

Caleb then took a long sip of his coffee and waited for Beauregard’s response. She was sitting across from him in the Overcrow. To be perfectly honest, he had not planned on telling her now, but… it had felt right. He had been mulling over the decision to leave for a few days, and it felt like the best possible choice for himself. 

Now, though, he worried at her silence and looked over his mug to see how she was taking the news.  

Beauregard’s own mug rested in both of her hands, as though she had been ready to sip from it, but had stopped partway through. Her mouth was closed, but her eyes were wide and questioning. He had taken her by surprise, and now, Caleb regretted it, seeing the flicker of hurt in her eyes.

Finally, she seemed to come back to her senses and a stubborn frown spread on her features. “Oh, so you’re just gonna go, and… elope with Essek, and leave the rest of us on our own?” 

Caleb stifled a cough, surprised. “I am not…” he began, but was interrupted once more by his angered friend.

“Whatever,” she pushed her coffee away from her, turned and moved to rise. “I always knew you were going to leave. I don’t care.”

Caleb reached over the table and grasped her wrist. “Wait –” he pleaded. She stopped, but her eyes remained fixed towards the exit of the coffee shop. Caleb leaned over the table to face her, and when he entered her field of vision, she looked upwards and blinked rapidly before biting the inside of her cheek.

“Beauregard. You are my friend. You always will be,” he continued, and she shook her head, dislodging a lock of hair that fell in front of her face. “I mean it,” he insisted.

She shook her head again, but her defensive posture seemed to drop. “I know,” she argued, and her voice faltered. She turned back towards him but avoided his gaze and stared at the table instead. Her lower lip wobbled dangerously, and Caleb brought his other hand to her wrist he still held, silently cursing himself for springing this on her. 

“I… I know,” Beauregard repeated. “I just… I’m happy for you, dude,” she shook her head, and a tear fell down her cheek. “I knew you were gonna leave. I mean,” she gestured, “this place isn’t for you, y’know? And with Essek gone…”

It was Caleb’s turn to bite the inside of his cheek. Had he been this obvious? Pushing the thought away, he gave Beauregard’s hand an awkward pat. “I am sorry, though,” he attempted.

She frowned and looked at him then. “Don’t apologize. You need to get out of here, and I support you in that, even if I had a shit reaction. I just… you know.” Her frown deepened, and she sniffed and wiped her nose like a child. “I’m gonna, you know.”

Caleb cocked his head and frowned, unsure where this would go. She caught sight of the movement and all traces of sadness gave way to an exasperated eye roll. “Oh, come on. You’re gonna make me say it? I’m gonna miss you, dumbass.”

Caleb blinked. 

“Don’t say anything. I don’t wanna hear it. Whatever. It doesn’t matter,” she waved a dismissive hand, but Caleb rose to his feet and exited the booth. He heard her mutter a confused “…okay,” but he kept going, sliding in her side of the booth. This was – right? This was a thing he could do… Beauregard needed a hug, and he could offer her one, so he just needed to open his arms… 

“Dude, what are you doing?” she asked, and he froze. 

“I am giving you a hug,” he explained, arms wide.

She made a strange grimace and slowly, hesitantly leaned forward. He shuffled closer, wrapped his arms around her like Veth had done with him so many times, and gave her a total of three pats on the back (three was a good number, he thought). Then, rigidly, he leaned away, and his friend did the same and began brushing something off her clothes.

“What was that even about? You’re weird,” she said, but there was no bite to her words. Caleb counted the whole ordeal as a succesS and moved to extirpate himself from her side of the booth.

“Anyway, what are you gonna do? Did you find a job already?” she inquired, still frowning but her voice a little lighter.

Caleb shook his head. “No, but there is a training I would like to complete that will hopefully give me a shot at a better job.” He hesitated before continuing. “It was Essek’s advice. He was looking out for my career, even before this happened.”

“Have you heard from him?” Beauregard inquired. “I’ve been giving him space, but I’m kind of thinking maybe I should message him.”

Caleb nodded. “I thought the same at first, but he was happy to talk. I am sure he would enjoy hearing from you. You are his friend, too.”

Beauregard rolled her eyes and reached for her coffee once more. “And you’re his friend, yeah?” 

Caleb pursed his lips and ignored the teasing. “The training will take a little less than three months. I will get certified and from then on, perhaps I will be able to work in the software development industry.”

Beauregard frowned. “But you’re not a programmer,” she countered.

Caleb shrugged. “They need other people too, apparently. Essek thinks I would be decent at it.”

“He said it like that?” Beauregard smirked.

Caleb shrugged. “If I recall well, he said I would take to it like a goose to water.” He frowned. “No – a duck. A duck to water.”

Beauregard leaned back. “I wouldn’t have thought you two were into pet names, but if I’d guessed, it wouldn’t have been waterfowl,” she teased before taking a gulp of her coffee. Caleb rolled his eyes and did the same. His cup was almost empty, and time to work was upon them.

“So, when are you gonna do that? Did you tell Da’leth yet?” Beauregard asked, letting the last drop of her coffee drip on her outstretched tongue.

Caleb shook his head. “Today,” he offered as an explanation.

She put her cup down and crossed her arms. “Well, good luck. He’s in a weird mood these days. But then,” she added as an afterthought, “he’s just weird. I never trusted that dude, Caleb.”

Caleb sighed. “I know.”

She leaned towards him and murmured: “I might start looking too.” His eyes widened and she held her hands up. “Maybe,” she insisted. “I’m not sure yet. I mean, I don’t want to… leave Yasha alone. But then, I’m not stupid enough to think our relationship is dependent on us seeing each other at work,” she said, pointedly looking at him.

Caleb held back an impatient huff. “We should head in,” he offered instead, and she nodded and rose to her feet. They exited the coffee shop and made way for their workplace in silence. 

When he went to open the door to their building, though, she clasped her hand on his shoulder and pulled him aside. “Hey, Caleb.” She hesitated, then patted the front of his coat awkwardly. “I’m happy for you, dude.” 

Caleb smiled. “Thank you. I would not be here without you.” When she rolled her eyes and huffed dismissively, he insisted. “You were my first friend here. I will never forget that.”

Instead of responding, she gave his shoulder a gentle shove and made her way inside.

Later, Caleb sat at his desk and gave his resignation letter one more read-through before printing. He let the mouse hover over the text, wondering whether Da’leth would require the same amount of groveling than Bilan had in the past.

I am thankful for the learning opportunities I have benefitted from at Kryn & Kryn over the past year. However, it is time for me to move on with my career and acquire formal training. I have enjoyed the time spent furthering Kryn & Kryn’s mission – 

Caleb deleted the following two sentences. Da’leth was intelligent and would know the real reason why his employee was leaving. As much as Caleb might detest the idea, it seemed as though everyone had known of his feelings for Essek before he had. Da’leth would know that Caleb’s sole reason for leaving was not the appeal of the upcoming certification program he had signed up for.

No, all he needed was a vague excuse so that he could resign while avoiding any drama. “I am going back to school” was perfect in that sense, and it was not technically a lie. If he played it correctly, nobody would try and convince him to stay. Caleb gave his letter one last look, printed it, and marched up to Da’leth’s office.

As soon as the elf saw movement through his doorframe, he let out an unsurprised “ah” and waved him in. “Widogast,” he added.

Caleb inclined his head and shuffled in, closing the door behind himself. “There is something I would like to discuss. Is this a good moment?”

Da’leth gestured towards the seat in front of his desk. “Of course. Can I assuage any of your worries? I know that the recent… reorganization must have particularly affected you.”

Caleb stiffened at the implication, but forced himself to sit. To think he’d been open and friendly with this man up until the other day filled him with incredulity.

Instead of responding, he passed the letter on to Da’leth and carefully observed his reaction as he spoke. “I will be… moving on to other projects, Herr Da’leth. This is my two weeks’ notice.” The words rolled off his tongue with more ease than he’d expected. 

To a stranger’s untrained eyes, Da’leth might have not exhibited any reaction at all. But after having learned how to discern every emotion on Essek’s once-imperturbable visage, Caleb noticed a slight stiffening of Da’leth’s ears. He had taken his boss by surprise.

Da’leth remained silent as he read the curt resignation letter, interrupted only by a detached ‘hmm’ about halfway through. Caleb waited expectantly.

When Da’leth finished reading the letter, he stared at the paper for a beat, then raised his head. “Caleb, this surprises me. You have been a tremendous asset to this organization, and I would hate to see you go without discussing the reasons for your departure. Perhaps there is something that I can do to improve things before you decide to leave it all behind?”

Caleb brought his hands together into his lap. “I am not leaving Kryn & Kryn so much as I am moving on to something different, Herr Da’leth. The certification program I have chosen is of great interest to me, and I believe it is a natural progression of my career. However, I have chosen to follow it full-time, and as such, I cannot keep working here in the meantime,” he responded, calculating.

Da’leth held his gaze for a moment, then straightened in his chair, whatever welcome might have been there now gone from his eyes. “Then I accept your resignation, and I will expect you to pass on whatever knowledge you may have of our systems and proceedings to Brenatto and Nydoorin in the next two weeks.”

Despite recent events, Da’leth sudden shift in attitude baffled Caleb. He might never have entertained the illusion that Da’leth was his friend, as they had always maintained strictly professional contact, but he had believed they got along, and that Da’leth had respected him. Now, it seemed, there was no more reason for Da’leth to keep up niceties. Caleb pursed his lips and nodded. “Thank you,” he managed before Da’leth rose his hand, dismissing him. The smile was back on his face, but there was no mistaking it for a genuine one this time.

Caleb exited the room stiffly. The exchange had ended on such a tense note that Yeza’s voice took him by surprise when he entered their shared office. 

“Hey Caleb, you okay?”

Caleb paused, enough to take a deep breath. He found that despite the difficult conversation, his confidence in his own decision had not wavered. He let his muscles relax and gave Yeza a small smile.

Yeza squinted slightly, adjusted his glasses on top of his nose, and lowered his voice before continuing. “You’re leaving us soon, aren’t you?”

Caleb’s eyes widened, before he let out an impressed chuckle. “How…” he began, but Yeza just shrugged. 

“As much as I like having you here, Caleb, you’re really underappreciated in this role. I hope wherever you’re moving to, people will see just how amazing a colleague you make,” the halfling explained quietly, before returning his smile. “I’m glad you got confident enough in your worth to leave this behind. Makes me proud of you.”

Caleb felt his throat tighten and closed the glass door behind him. “Thank you, Yeza.”

The halfling’s smile widened as he turned back towards his computer and got back to work. 

That same evening, Caleb laid in bed fiddling with his phone, spinning it between his long fingers. Lost in thought as he was, he made a wrong move and dropped it on his face. With a groan, he turned to his side and reopened the conversation he’d shared with Essek.

The two of them had barely spoken since Essek’s termination a few days prior, but Caleb’s thoughts were almost always with his friend. 

His fingers fluttered over the keyboard, he gathered his courage and typed I have decided to quit Kryn & Kryn. Once the message was sent, he began to think of the best way to explain his process. He was halfway into typing a follow-up message when his phone began buzzing – Essek was attempting to call him for the first time since he’d been cut from the team.

A small wave of panic overwhelmed Caleb. He fumbled with his phone and almost dropped it again from the surprise, but managed to catch it before it fell. Staring at the screen with wide eyes, his finger shook as he slid the answering button. 

“H– hallo?”

“Caleb, it’s Essek,” the familiar voice was firm, but when Essek continued, there was hesitation in it. “I – ah, hopefully this is not… well, I… perhaps I…” A deep breath. “I do not wish to overstep. I am calling about, ah, well, your message.”

Caleb waited for Essek to continue, until he realized that the drow was waiting on a response from him first. “ Ach –  ja, Essek, please. Your voice is always welcome.” His breath caught once the sentence was out and he cursed inwardly. Your voice is always welcome, really? How about a full-on confession next time? 

“Yes, well… I just wanted to validate that you did not… feel obligated to make that decision. I know you are… a wonderful friend, and your loyalty knows no bounds, and I want to make sure that you are not leaving because… of me.” 

Caleb wiped a hand on his face, dragging the skin with it. He took a moment to regain his spirits and inhaled slowly, then closed his eyes and let out a silent sigh.

Before Essek could concern himself much more with his reaction, he managed to cobble together a response. “Essek, I am glad to hear from you. This is…” he hesitated. “Leaving is entirely my decision, and you do not need to concern yourself with how much or how little you might have influenced it.”

There was silence on the other end of the line. Then, Essek’s voice came through, but it was strained. “Of course. I apologize for overstepping – I will leave you to your things, Caleb, and I wish you the best.”

Caleb shut his eyes and pressed against them with his thumb and index, wishing he could rewind time. “No, Essek, I – that came out wrong.” He sighed once more, but this time, he forced his shoulders to relax. “I am sorry, I meant it genuinely. You do not need to be concerned. Do you remember what you once told me? That I tended to overestimate the impact I had on the world?”

Essek hummed, and Caleb truly wished he could view his face as they had this conversation. His friend was hard to read on a normal day, but through the phone, every little cue that Caleb had learned to recognize was hidden. He decided to continue and hope that Essek was receptive.

“I would be lying if I said that your… absence had nothing to do with my departure. But Essek, look at it from my point of view: I had a shit job, a job that I was not even going to accept in the first place. I was miserable. Then, I started working with you, and things became interesting. Now that you are gone…” he lifted his eyes to the ceiling and let his shoulders slump. “You were a large part of the fun that I was having at Kryn & Kryn. Now that you are gone… I am not having fun anymore. It is as simple as that, mein Freund.” 

The silence on the other side of the phone was deafening, but Caleb let it be nonetheless. Eventually, he heard an even breath being drawn. 

“Well, I am… reassured that you are making this decision in your own best interest, Caleb. I am still sorry that I overstepped – I let my emotions speak before thinking things through. I suppose… I wish you the best.”

Caleb hesitated for a moment, surprised by Essek’s distance and reluctance to discuss the subject further. “I – erm. Thank you, Essek. I…” the word caught in his throat. 

He wanted to stay on the line with Essek, hear his voice, make sure he had been doing alright, sleeping sufficiently, feeding himself, and being kind to himself in the wake of the earthquake that had shattered both of their realities. He tried again. “I…” 

The words would not come, rusty as he was in expressing that kind of affection – as though his gears, all of a sudden, had been set on a different track that would not operate the same way as he had been functioning for the past several months. Even though Essek was the same person and not much had changed, expressing any kind of affection now felt like diving into the deepest pits of the ocean. The implications had changed, now that he knew his fondness was nothing other than a symptom of his love.

Essek put him out of his misery. “It’s okay, Caleb. I wouldn’t expect…” a quiet pause, then his voice came in softer. “I understand.” 

Caleb’s blood ran cold. “You – you do?” he asked, shock forcing the useless question out of his mouth before he could help it.

“Yes, I do. I… I am sorry, Caleb. Saying more would be… imposing. I – I did not want to… put you through this. It was never my intention.”

Caleb’s fingers tightened around his phone. Of course. Essek was intelligent, brilliant, even. All of their shared friends seemed to have known about Caleb’s infatuation for quite some time, then surely he must have caught onto it as well. All of this time, Essek must have been trying his best to maintain a professional work environment. And now that they were never going to work together again, he was gently letting Caleb know that… his feelings, or whatever measure of them might have transpired, were unrequited. 

An even breath came from the other side of the phone. “I won’t take any more of your time, now. Please – ah, I will be here if you need any references in the future.” Essek hesitated. “I would also love to hear from you, from time to time, if you are amenable to that.”

“Yes,” Caleb responded without even thinking. He quickly tried to amend his answer: “I – yes, alright, Essek. You… you too. Please, if there is anything you need, just let me know.” Already, he was feeling his throat close around the last words. 

“I appreciate it,” Essek responded neutrally, ever professional. 

They shared a moment of silence during which Caleb grasped for an appropriate thing to say – it couldn’t be over so quickly, could it? He heard Essek inhale and clear his throat, and that gave him the push that he needed to open his mouth before Essek left. 

“Essek, you… are important to me. I hope… we can keep in contact.” Caleb bit the inside of his cheek.

“Of course,” came Essek’s quick response. A quiet laugh, almost uncomfortable. “We are friends, are we not?”

The answer was so unbearably Essek that Caleb had to let out a wet chuckle himself. “ Ja, we are.” Somehow, the affirmation soothed something within him.

Essek breathed in and continued, “I am going to let you go now, so that you can get back to your things. Take good care.”

“Good night, Essek.”

“Good night, Caleb.”

Two weeks had passed by slower than ever, and Caleb was pleased to finally see the end of his last day at Kryn & Kryn. Pushing the door to the now-empty restaurant, he looked behind and shot a smile at Yeza. The two of them were the first to arrive, it seemed – the others must not be too far behind. Caleb closed the door behind them, letting the bell sound their entrance into Melora’s Grove and trapping the heat inside. 

“Caduceus?” the halfling called in his typically tentative voice. “We’re here!”

A clatter sounded from the kitchen and several seconds later, an unfazed firbolg appeared, grease splatters on his apron and a spatula in his left hand. 

“Great. You can help me set a table for our friends,” he replied, before shooting them a slow, generous smile and disappearing once more. 

“Do you need any help in the kitchen, mein Freund?” Caleb called, and since there was no response, he approached the door where he had seen Caduceus disappear. He had barely had any time to see what was happening inside when he was suddenly handed two large ceramic bowls filled with different types of salads and greens. 

“Here you go. I have more,” Caduceus said and turned to supervise his frying pan once more, flipping small dough balls with practiced skill and intention.

Caleb did his best to balance the bowls all the way to the counter and turned to help Yeza. The two of them pushed several tables together and dragged some chairs before covering them with a stained tablecloth that Caduceus kept just for them – I can’t use it for customers anymore, but for you all, it’s perfect, he had explained, not a note of malice in his voice.  Soon, Beauregard and Yasha came in, the former talking animatedly with Pumat as she passed the threshold. Fjord stepped in moments later, making a show of shaking the snow off from his coat and complaining about the cold as he took off his boots. He was interrupted, though, when the door hit him in the rear, nearly toppling him over as Jester strode in.

“Oh, Fjord! You shouldn’t leave your butt in a place like this, really,” she teased, and was rewarded with a sputter and a “My butt’s fine, thanks –” to which Caleb heard some beginning of “I’m always concerned for…” before Caduceus called for him again, this time loading him with steamed dumpling baskets. 

Caleb hissed from the heat as he made quick work of depositing them on the table, and elbowed Beauregard to ask for her help. In no time, the table was set, the restaurant smelled like a hero’s feast, and people were beginning to seat themselves. 

Caduceus joined them eventually, carrying one last platter of fried tofu and greens and a large jug of water. Pumat, who had been pouring wine to everyone, sat down and sighed.

“Well, this is a mighty spread indeed, friend,” he complimented the cook.

“It is,” Caduceus replied absentmindedly as he poured water into his own glass.

Yeza cleared his throat and Yasha and Fjord gave him their attention. Beauregard and Jester kept on bickering over some front desk drama, so Fjord elbowed the human in the ribs – to which she responded by wheezing a disbelieving “Man – what the fuck, dude?” before immediately redirecting her attention when she saw Yeza smile and lift his glass. 

“Thank you Caduceus, for hosting us again in your lovely restaurant,” said the halfling with a nod towards their host, “and for giving us the best possible venue to celebrate our friend moving on to new adventures!”

“Hear, hear!” Fjord cheered and raised his own glass. “Congratulations, Caleb, for making this important decision. We’re sad to see you go, but we’ll be with you every step of the way.”

Yasha toasted as well. “I’m sure you will do great.”

Beauregard just grinned mischievously at Caleb and leaned over the table to bump her glass against his. Caleb chuckled and did not try to hide the smile on his face as he cheered with every one of his friends.

They drank to the end of Caleb’s very last day at Kryn & Kryn, and the conversation resumed as if it had never stopped. Soon, baskets were being passed over and everybody helped themselves to Caduceus’s delicious creations. Jester leaned with nearly her whole body over the table to grab a bowl of bread, and as she lost a bit of her balance, Fjord’s hands sprung to her hips in a bid to keep her from tipping over on the table. Immediately, the green on his face became a vibrant shade of reddish-brown, but Jester used his arms to straighten herself up and hold the bread basket triumphantly. She shot him a toothy grin before plopping herself back down on her seat and helping both herself and Fjord from the contents of the basket. Caleb observed, amused, which drew her attention.

“Caleb! I know we’re all super happy for you to study and stuff, but it’s gonna suck without you around here.”

If Fjord’s face soured for a moment, Caleb ignored it. “ Ach, Jester. It is for the best,” he teased. “Besides, I will still be nothing but a message away.”

“You promise to answer when we message you?” she pleaded. “Essek hasn’t been responding to anyone ever since he left. I want you to keep talking to us!”

“He will, if I have anything to say about it,” Beauregard immediately retorted, distracted from her conversation with Yasha. 

“You don’t,” Caleb deadpanned, and Fjord chuckled. 

Pumat interjected. “So, little friend. Remind me what your plan is once you’re out of here?”

Caleb dropped one last dumpling onto his plate – it was probably one too many, but that was how things went at Caduceus’: eating too much was part of the deal. 

“I will be doing… a three month course so that I am able to work with cross-functional software development teams, as– ” he deposited the dumpling basket to his right where others could reach it and made an approximating gesture with his hand. “ –some kind of process-oriented team member. It’s all very interesting,” he added before scooping up a dumpling, dipping it in bean sauce and biting into it.

“I knew you could do it!” came Jester’s enthusiastic but muffled reply as she did the same. “I told you you could study and do cool stuff like Essek.”

Caleb held a hand up and let out a nervous laugh. “Not… quite like Essek. I do not have anywhere near his level of specialization, and I do not know much about computer programming. This is… I would be helping a team develop better, not developing software with them.”

Yasha shrugged. “You’d be doing something cool. Just not exactly the same thing as Essek would be doing with his engineering degree.”

Beauregard nodded. “Yeah, don’t downplay it. You’re gonna beat everyone’s asses at that job and you know it.”

“Hmm, I don’t think that’s what a process specialist does,” Caduceus mused.

Caleb smiled and shook his head. “Either way, I am looking forward to something new.” It was true: he hadn’t felt such optimism for the future since his early days in university, before he had started working directly under Ikithon. The realization struck him softly, and the smile on his lips widened earnestly.

“Man, it’s kind of weird doing this without Essek, though. I wish he was with us,” said Beauregard. The rest of their friends were quiet; they all knew that Essek had been invited to the unofficial gathering, but had never responded. 

Caleb’s ears burned with the fear that perhaps Essek was uncomfortable seeing him after their conversation on the phone earlier that week. They had not talked much otherwise, exchanging empty pleasantries in an awkward attempt at maintaining contact. Caleb could not help but to think bitterly on how Essek had expressed his desire to keep in touch, yet replied in short, matter-of-fact sentences every time they messaged each other. But then… he was no example either, sharing the same ambivalence, stepping on eggshells. His smile fell as he thought that perhaps his obvious, ridiculous infatuation had ruined a perfectly good friendship. 

“He just needs a bit more time,” Caduceus reassured. 

Fjord nodded. “If something like that had happened to me, I’d want some time to process it too. It’s barely been a few weeks.”

“I know, I know,” Beauregard admitted. “I haven’t been pestering him or anything. I just… y’know. He’s my buddy.”

Jester looked down at her plate. “Do you think we made him uncomfortable by inviting him to tonight’s party?”

Fjord shook his head, and Yeza piped up. “I think we put it out there, you know? And at least he knows we’re thinking of him. We’ll be here when he’s ready.”

Quiet fell on the group once more, but this time, Caleb mulled over Yeza’s wise words. Perhaps that was all that could be done now – he would just need to be there for Essek, however he might prefer it, and to be attentive to his discomfort. He could… withdraw as needed.

Yasha broke the silence. “Well, please let him know we’re thinking of him, Caleb.”

The request took him by surprise. Did Yasha think that he and Essek were as close as before?

Beauregard, who had been looking down, seemed surprised at her girlfriend’s words and gave Caleb a quick glance. Caleb simply looked down and swallowed hard, wondering on how best to explain his… position towards Essek without giving word of his exact predicament.

“Uhh, Yash’,” Beauregard began, but was quickly interrupted by Jester. 

“Oh, yes, Cay-leb. Tell him we miss him lots and we love him so much!” The tiefling’s grin had returned with full force, and she reached for Fjord’s shoulder on one side and for Pumat’s on the other. 

Fjord eyed her affectionately and nodded without looking at Caleb. “Yes, alright, good idea,” he conceded.

Beauregard and Caduceus remained silent, the former sipping from her tea uncomfortably. The accountant had always been extremely perceptive, and Caleb had no doubt that she sensed his discomfort and deduced that his relationship with Essek had been hit hard by the most recent events. For a moment, he wished he could tell her, but pushed the idea out of his head as soon as it emerged: she was Essek’s friend too, and he did not want to put her in a position where she would need to hide something.

He was drawn away from his thoughts by Yeza’s curious gaze. It jolted him out of his rumination and he cleared his throat. “Yes, of course, friends. I will let him know.”

“Thank you, Caleb. I hope he’s well,” Yasha continued, completely oblivious to his hesitation.

Thankfully, Beauregard saved him from needing to give them news of Essek by making exaggerated appreciative noises. “Duuuude, Caduceus, fuck! What’s in these dumplings?” She placed a hand on Yasha’s shoulder. “That’s so tasty, whaa-aat?!”

Caduceus cocked his head with curiosity. “Mushrooms. You’ve had a few of them already. I thought you preferred the ones with meat in them?”

Beau laughed nervously. “There must be something special in this one, because… it’s… real good!”

Caduceus’s ears twitched good-naturedly. “I can pack some for you to bring home if you want.”

“I never say no to free food.”

“Oh, no, Beau, Caduceus’s evil plan to turn you into a vegetarian is working!” Fjord teased with mock-seriousness. 

“That wouldn’t be exactly evil,” the firbolg defended himself.

Yeza chuckled. “That’s not exactly old Caduceus’s way of going about things, though.”

The chatter took off from there, and while Fjord, Pumat, Yasha and Yeza curiously helped themselves to some of the mushroom dumplings, Caleb’s eyes met Beauregard’s and he blinked slowly, dipping his head into a subtle thanks. His friend simply shrugged and bit from another dumpling, before opening her full mouth to say: “These are good for real though, you should try them.”

Chapter Text

The first few days out of work had Caleb disoriented. Without the routine he had built, and regular outings with his friends, he was now at the mercy of his own self-discipline – at least until his new training program began. He often wandered aimlessly around the apartment he shared with Veth, and slept more than he had since he had first moved to Rosohna. He spent some time reading, of course, but a lot of it was spent ruminating on his situation with Essek. Sometimes, he could find himself imagining them returning to the same easy friendship they shared before; but sooner or later, the dismay that accompanied the reminder that his feelings were unrequited would return and engulf him, bringing his mood down for the rest of the day, or until Veth dragged him into the kitchen to cook with her. Those moments with her did, fortunately, help his mood and improve his outlook on the situation. Veth was an unending well of encouragement and optimism about his new path and recent choices, and for once, Caleb did not think that it was specifically because it had been her own idea. Well, hers and Essek’s, technically.

Thinking of Essek usually brought him back into a nostalgic loop, and though he knew better than to leave Veth to her cooking alone, she could usually sense a shift in his mood whenever his mind drifted in that direction. One such evening, as they were both preparing food for the week, she heaved a sigh and put down her knife, abandoning her onion before she had even begun chopping it. 

“Caleb, I’m gonna say something, and I hope you won’t make me regret it.”

He turned to her and noticed that he had been sullenly watching his own hands for the past few minutes instead of washing vegetables. He cleared his throat and opened his mouth to issue an apology, but the words died before he could speak them. Veth’s eyes were kind, and gone was the usual exasperation or sharpness that they bore when she chided him. 

“You should message Essek.”

Caleb blinked and felt his shoulders tense. He looked back at the sink and sighed. “I wish it were that easy, Veth. I – I do message him sometimes,” he amended, and a pang of defensiveness made its way to his heart. It was not as though Essek was waiting on him to do anything, was it not? His messages might not even be welcome – so he was doing both Essek and himself a favor by keeping their interactions minimal. Perhaps it could give him the time to rid himself of his infatuation, or at least, let him hide it under several layers of denial and deceit until it was barely visible, even to himself.

As if she had read his thoughts, Veth prodded on firmly: “Tell him. Stop hiding your stupid crush. I mean, it’s ok to be lovesick and miserable for a while, but…” she threw a hand to the side in a wide, exasperated gesture. “He’s still out there, you know! I know you two don’t see each other at work anymore, but there’s no reason why you couldn’t be together and work in different places!”

Caleb let out a bitter laugh. “You think he would want to be with me?” 

“I think anyone would be lucky to be with you and you know that, Lebby, but… oh, gods help me.” She rubbed her face with her forearm. “Especially him. And I think he knows it. He’s head over heels in love with you, Caleb, it’s ridiculous. How can you not see that?!”

Caleb felt himself bristle. “Has it occurred to you that you might not see everything?” he snapped. He reached for the faucet and sharply twisted it, letting cold water flow in the sink. He grabbed a vegetable brush and began scrubbing a stalk of celery.

“I don’t –” Veth dragged the stepstool to the sink and reached for the faucet with her small hands, closing it firmly, “– see everything. But we’re having a conversation,” she stepped off the stool, “and you’re not getting out of it by drowning me out with water and…” she gestured at him, unconvinced, “…aggressive vegetable cleaning!”

Caleb sighed and rolled his eyes. “If I wanted therapy, I would be in Mollymauk’s office.”

“Well maybe you should be.”

He gritted his teeth. “That is not the point. The point is that…” he threw his head back to try and get his hair out of his left eye. “He knows, and you are wrong. There is no reciprocation, and I never had a chance to begin with. I mean,” he gestured at himself with a deprecating, disbelieving laugh, and water droplets flew onto his shirt. When Veth opened her mouth to contradict him, he pushed. “And,” he held a hand out, “if there is any hope that Essek and I might be friends again, I am not about to throw it out of the window by being insistent and needy.”

Veth narrowed her eyes at him. “So… you told him?”

Caleb huffed and returned to his scrubbing. “I did not need to. Apparently, I am so obvious that everyone around me has noticed.” After a beat, he added, weakly: “Everybody at work knew, even before I was even aware of it myself.” He swallowed tightly and continued with a more even tone. “So, no, he is not…” he made air quotes with his hand, still holding the celery stalk in it, “‘head over heels’ in love with me, Veth. You have this one wrong, friend, and I…” he shook his head and resumed his task, “…I wish you would let it go so that I can grieve in peace.” 

It was Veth’s turn to roll her eyes. “Gods, you’re so dramatic.” When Caleb shot her a venomous look, torn between insulted and hurt, she continued. “Look – this is the guy you’ve been going to dinner with every other evening for the past six months? The guy who trusted you with work stuff he probably shouldn’t have trusted anyone else with? The guy with whom you trade nerdy books, the one who listens to you talk and talk about whatever bio-computer-bullshit you’re obsessed with at the moment? The one who once got into a verbal dissing-fest with me over which one of us you liked best? The one who looks at you with googly lovey-dovey eyes whenever he gets the chance?” She snorted. “Yeah, Caleb, I think he wants nothing to do with you. You go on and grieve, now, and I’ll let you take it out on that piece of celery.” She narrowed her eyes at it. “I think it deserves it.”

Caleb glared at the now-bruised vegetable and hissed an annoyed breath. “I did not –” he began, setting it down on the side of the sink and picking up another stalk, “– ask –” he continued, marking the word, “– for your advice. This is between me –” he twisted the faucet again, letting the water flow on his new victim, “– and Essek.” 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Veth bristle. “Okay. Okay, you know what? I’m just trying to help. But I’ll leave it be. You’re a big boy, you make your own decisions and ignore my advice if you want to.” She grabbed a dishcloth and wiped her hands on it, then threw it on the countertop next to Caleb. “I’ll be in the other room, let me know when the veggies are ready and I’ll do the rest.” 

And with that, she strode out of the kitchen and left Caleb to simmer in his frustration – which he gladly took the opportunity to do, scrubbing with intensity and letting the winter-cold water freeze the tips of his fingers as he ruminated. What does she think she knows anyway, he thought. Veth was even worse than Jester in her insistence – at least his tiefling friend had offered him a way out, even though it had all been merely an excuse to trick him into embarrassing himself.

Besides, Essek did not make ‘googly eyes’ at him. You would think that sentence had come straight out of Jester’s mouth, he thought as he moved on to a different task. He shook his head. Besides, why has no one else commented on it, if it’s so obvious that Essek likes me? He remembered Jester’s excited blabbering, which now sounded like taunting barbs to his reminiscing mind: she had said ‘he looked at you like you meant the world to him’. He sighed. Surely that was Jester’s imagination going wild; he knew that she had a very soft spot for Fjord, and her rose-colored glasses would have made her see something that was not there.

No, this was clearly Veth’s own biased misconception. Besides, Veth had barely met Essek, and she mostly knew him from what Caleb had related to her. What if, wearing his own rose-colored glasses, he had made it sound as if Essek was interested? He sighed. It would be just like me to get my hopes up, he brooded.

As he chopped, his mind ran in circles around that idea. What if he had inadvertently misconstrued his and Essek’s whole relationship based on wishful thinking? What if they were never as close as he believed they were, simply because he had been projecting all of it onto Essek? He felt his heartbeat accelerate and began feeling his mind dissociate from his body. He fought to ground himself, focusing on the texture of the carrot he was holding down. Du weißt, das ist nicht hilfreich, he thought, come back to reality. He gave his head a quick shake and leaned over the sink, splashing water over his face. 

He grabbed the towel Veth had thrown earlier and stuck his face in it, breathing shakily – and coughing when he realized it smelled of onion. He leaned on the side of the sink and exhaled slowly, drawing his breath out until he began to feel lightheaded. He inhaled, then slowed down, focusing on the feeling, until he felt a little steadier on his feet. Then, he dipped his head in his hands and sighed.

No, he… he was pretty sure that Essek and he had a good, true friendship going on. In fact, Essek had sought out his company several times – he pushed away the thought that this might be a thing of the past – and had seemed to enjoy spending time with him. This fear, at least, was baseless.

He hauled himself back upright and stared at his cutting board, feeling suddenly very tired. This does not change the fact that Veth is wrong, he added bitterly. Essek is not interested in me, or other people would have noticed. He shook his head: Beauregard had never pointed anything out, and neither had Fjord. Surely he and Essek’s closest colleagues and friends would have noticed something, if Essek had been so obvious?

Then, Caleb’s heart skipped a beat. Yasha , he thought, and a glimmer of hope lit unbidden in his chest. Yasha had thought that Essek and I were a couple, on her first day. Could Veth’s observations… 

No , he grimaced. That must have only been because of his own obvious infatuation. He must have been looking at Essek with ‘googly eyes’ – he frowned at the ridiculous phrase – and… Yasha must have extrapolated from there. After all, there was no way she could have gotten such an impression from her first, very short interaction with Essek that morning. Essek would have had to be so bad at covering it up… 

But then, Essek was always a bad liar. Perhaps… 

No… unless –

His cavalcade of thoughts screeched to a halt when his phone buzzed in his back pocket. Caleb pressed his thumbs to the edges of his eyes and took a long, tired breath in. None of this was helpful. He and Essek were barely talking anymore, anyway – though he would give anything for the freedom that he had once felt in the company of his friend.

He finished cutting the carrot and tossed it into a bowl; the vegetables were ready. He grabbed the onion-scented dishcloth and threw it over his shoulder, picked up a few things that were laying on the counter and moved to let Veth know that he was done with his task – and if he felt a pang of guilt over his sharp words from earlier, he determined that it was no use bringing it up now. With feigned nonchalance, he called out to her.

“The kitchen is yours.”

From the couch, she grunted in response, but did not move. He approached to make sure she had understood him.

“I am done with the vegetables,” he added, and she whipped her head towards him. 

“Yeah, I got it, hold on just a sec,” she grumbled, and finished typing something on her phone. A cursory glance revealed that she was texting someone – and though he did not mean to, Caleb caught the name on the screen: it was Yeza’s. 

He blinked and withdrew, leaving the halfling to the rest of her evening, and retreated to his room. Well, that explained it. If Veth was infatuated with the sweet, kind Yeza, she must have wanted to see the same behavior in Essek. 

He closed the door behind him and threw himself on the bed. From there, he stared at the ceiling for a minute, before catching a whiff of onion from his shoulder where the dishcloth remained. He sighed and rolled it into a ball, then threw it over the room, aiming for the laundry hamper – and missing. When he laid back down, something dug in the corner of his buttock, and he fished his phone out, throwing it a lazy glance to see who might have messaged him.

His heart leapt when he saw it was Essek. He immediately straightened his posture and unlocked the conversation, and skimmed over his message avidly. 

Essek: Hello Caleb. I hope this message finds you in good health. Far be it from my intentions to give you more work than you already have; despite that, your keen eyes and good sense would be very welcome, if you can spare them for a moment. Would you consider reading over my CV and letter for a particularly interesting job? 

Essek: Let me know if you would be amenable to that, and feel free to refuse if you have too much on your plate right now.

Caleb’s heart thumped in his ears and a tentative smile made its way subtly to his lips. This was good – Essek was taking him up on his offer for help! Perhaps their friendship was indeed salvageable.

But that’s it, his mind provided cruelly, and he bit the inside of his cheek and forced his smile to remain. And that will be enough, he retorted to himself before typing out a response.

Caleb: I will gladly look over your documents, Essek. Just send them to me and I will take some time for them tonight.

The response came almost instantly. 

Essek: There is no need for urgency, Caleb – though I truly appreciate your help, and I am incredibly thankful for your availability. I will be sending in my application within the next three days.

Caleb sighed and relaxed. Essek did not seem withdrawn tonight, and Caleb wanted to savor the moment.

Caleb: My plate, as you so kindly put it, is quite empty at the moment, my friend. I am not working for Kryn & Kryn anymore, so my days are all mine for the next week or so. 

Caleb: But tell me more about this job, if you will. The knowledge will help me provide nothing but the most pertinent recommendations.

Caleb let an amused huff out of his nose and rose to open his laptop and set himself up at his desk. It was incredible how easily he fell back into comfortable banter with his friend. He allowed himself to enjoy it; he would just need to be careful. 

Essek: Here you go. 

    Thelyss_Essek_CV-LUXON.docx

    Thelyss_Essek_Letter-LUXON.docx 

Essek : And here is the job opening: luxonltd.dyn/careers/e24895/eng

Essek : The company is Luxon Ltd. They work on this genomic search engine and a variety of tools to analyze clinical data on things like… genetics, illnesses, or even active substances. They sell mostly to state-of-the-art research facilities and large universities.

Essek: Since they are expanding, they have a few positions open for full-stack developers working on a variety of smaller products. It seems like they function in cross-functional teams, so I would get to do a bit of everything and even dabble in bioinformatics myself – though I am not trained to actually work with real data.

Essek: I don’t quite have the profile they are looking for, but I am hoping that I can convince them anyway. My own PhD would still be of use, even if it isn’t in bioinformatics.

Caleb opened the link to a sleek, grey-and-blue company website and skimmed the job opening, nodding as he noticed what Essek was pointing out. Combined engineering and bioinformatics undergraduate degree and a master’s in either field, the text read, and a few paragraphs later, 4 years of experience in a similar position.

Caleb: Sounds exciting. Quite different from what you were doing under Bilan.

He sent his message, then immediately began to overthink. Would Essek believe that Caleb was doubting his competence? He shook his head and refocused on the job opening, occasionally glancing at his phone to see if Essek had answered. 

He read through the opening a second time and moved on to Essek’s CV. Even though his time spent in academia had been cut short, Caleb could recognize an impressive academic CV when he saw one, and Essek’s was definitely of the sort. Publications, research groups, articles… then, Caleb noticed a gap in activity around six years ago. An employer might not make anything of it, since Essek was still technically enrolled in his PhD, but Caleb knew it to be the period during which Essek had developed his chronic leg and hip pain. He pursed his lips and hummed pensively, catching himself wishing that he had been there to help Essek get through that rough period of time. A buzz from his phone forced his thoughts back to the present.

Essek: Very different indeed, and I should hope so. I never wanted to get into management. Office politics are tiresome and futile, and I miss thinking – and being treated – like an engineer. My position at Kryn & Kryn made little use of my potential and, sooner or later, I think I would have grown to resent it.

Essek: I believe you know exactly what it is like. 

Essek: Needless to say, recent events have made me question my priorities and I have decided that I will no longer submit myself to the circus of management more than strictly necessary. 

Caleb frowned.

Caleb: I should hope so, and I am happy for you. 

Caleb: Have you discussed it with your mother? If I remember correctly, you two had some kind of agreement on your career path.

Caleb: If you will excuse my curiosity, of course.

Essek’s response was quick.

Essek: I do not mind. Honestly, I have elected to ignore her, for the most part. 

Essek: In my defense – and I do plan on using this argument, should the subject of my career ever come up during one family dinner or another – I had absolutely no idea of how terrible I would be at management before getting that job.

Essek: So truly, my consent to that agreement was not… informed, one could say.

Caleb let out a chuckle at Essek’s petulant defensiveness, but he had to argue.

Caleb: A valid argument for your mother, perhaps – but surely, you don’t believe it yourself?

Essek: Caleb, I was fired less than two years after I was hired. I believe that’s a rather short reign.

Caleb: You were not fired , though. Your position was cut.

Seeing Essek type out a response, Caleb rushed to get out another message.

Caleb: Besides, you were the person I have most loved working with. I was privileged to work under your leadership.

He sent it while Essek was still typing, but the resulting satisfaction was short-lived. Loved ? Had he really just…? He gaped at his screen, then brought a hand in his hair. Surely, that was one of the words he was trying to avoid using, no? Dummkopf!  

Essek: Thank you, my friend. And I would say the same. But I am no manager; I prefer to work with equals. 

Essek: Which is one of the reasons why I am looking forward to working at this company.

Caleb groaned and dropped his head in his hands. A tactful way to bring the conversation back to business, he thought, and gave himself a moment to be disappointed even though he had not meant to write out such a thing in the first place.

Caleb: A sensible point of view. Let me look through those documents and I will get back to you.

He closed his phone and set it aside in an attempt to focus on Essek’s documents. If he could do nothing else, he would at least give Essek the best advice he possibly could – the man deserved nothing less. He heard his phone buzz twice with a reply but determinedly ignored it in favor of diving into his task again. However, a nagging thought kept emerging in his mind, like a balloon he was trying to keep underwater but that kept bobbing back to the surface as soon as his grip loosened. What would happen when he could no longer be useful to Essek? This had been their longest conversation since Essek had lost his job. Perhaps Essek was putting up with him just because he needed the help? As if he actually needs your help, Caleb thought, thinking bitterly on how accomplished Essek was compared to him. As he scrolled through the various accomplishments, academic articles and accolades Essek had put on his CV, his heart dropped and he felt frustration rise within his chest. Suddenly, he rose and paced around his room.

“Warum ? Why does he even…” he muttered, then pulled on his hair and let himself slump on the bed. Why did Essek even speak with him? Had they ever truly gotten along or was their friendship a figment of Caleb’s imagination? Did they even have a single thing in common? Or was he the failure, the dropout, the dark backdrop to Essek’s shining potential?

He was beginning to feel his chest tighten with raw fear and remembered himself, drawing in a shaky breath, holding it in until he couldn’t anymore, then blowing it out as slowly as he could. A nervous whimper got stuck in the back of his throat and he looked around himself with a hint of desperation. Grabbing a pillow, he stuffed his face in it and let out a long, ragged whine. He emerged in time to take another long breath, then let it out as slowly as he could, smoothing the pillowcase obsessively with his hands. He did his best to focus on his breath and bring it back to a manageable rhythm, feeling the knot in his chest untangle slowly and release his panic – and leaving him utterly spent. 

When the wave had passed, he shut his eyes tightly and grimaced before letting his back fall on the mattress. He lay there for a few minutes, his mind blissfully quiet, until the thoughts returned with a vengeful sharpness. Not only was he a failure compared to his friend – friends, really, his mind provided, bringing up reminders of Caduceus owning his own restaurant, of Veth’s new job, of Beauregard’s perseverance – but he was an anxious mess, too weak to even face his thoughts without having a panic attack. 

Weak. The word, repeated in his head, took on a different tone now. It dripped with contempt and paternal disappointment. This was Ikithon’s voice, now. 

But Ikithon was wrong. Caleb blinked, remembering himself. If he agreed with Ikithon, what would that make him? He had grown in the time since he had left Cerberus, and he knew better than to take his old mentor’s syrupy barbs as truth. He frowned. What had triggered his panic attack? 

The thought that Essek might find me contemptible. 

Caleb inhaled again, and tried to accept that the thought was indeed terrifying. There was no reasoning with it, he decided – not when it evoked such visceral reactions. He rubbed his eyes and heaved himself back up into a sitting position, then hugged the pillow and stared at the floor, his chin coming to rest on top of the fabric. He was exhausted.

He gave himself a few minutes of respite and tried to leave his frustrations with himself to the side – he knew them to be unhelpful, and though the temptation to dive into a self-blaming session was strong, he tore himself away from it and rested with himself quietly. 

Soon enough, thoughts began to emerge from the silence. Did Essek find him worthy of contempt, or was that another trick of his mind? He remembered their long talks, Essek’s shining eyes communicating nothing but interest and passion for their subject of conversation. He remembered Essek coming into work early, bleary-eyed and exhausted, just so that they could share a coffee together in the morning.

He remembered trading books, and how Essek had found it difficult to admit that he had not been reading much since his struggle with leg pain and his stay at the hospital. Perhaps Essek himself was not a unidimensional intellectual with a perfect track record. Perhaps he too felt pain, and sorrow, and anxiety, and doubt. They were both people, with flaws… and qualities, he admitted begrudgingly to himself. After all, Essek must have found something in him, for all the times he had expressed gratitude for Caleb’s presence, his support, his friendship. 

How Caleb longed to provide that same support and presence today. He hugged the pillow tighter; he missed his friend.  

He stayed on the bed for a little longer, letting everything sink in and trying to show himself some patience. It occurred to him that, three years prior to today, he would not have handled himself quite as well as he had this time. He smiled and thanked Mollymauk internally, but deep down, he knew that this was also his doing. I am getting better, after all.

Savoring that encouraging thought, he drew in one last long breath, exhaled and found himself regaining some courage. He rose and walked over to his computer once more, grabbing his phone reflexively to check if he had gotten anything. He was rewarded with the sight of Essek’s last two messages.

Essek: You know, I do not think I would have been quite as interested in bioinformatics, had you not shared that passion with me and helped me learn about it. Without you, I might have overlooked this job posting.

Essek: I have many things to thank you for, Caleb. 

Caleb’s heart leapt to his throat and he let out a fond sigh. What a difference there was between the Essek he had imagined just a few moments ago and this one! He put the phone down to work, but ended up picking it up seconds later and excitedly typing out a response.

Caleb: As do I, Essek.

Caleb: I do not think I have shared this piece of news with you yet – but now that I am out of Kryn & Kryn, I am going to take a break from the job market and study for some time. 

Caleb: You gave me some good ideas.

Essek’s response came quickly.

Essek: You are going back to school? 

Essek: Congratulations, Caleb. I am very pleased for you.

Essek: And I am appreciative of the work that it took to get there.

Essek: What will you be doing? Where?

Essek: When?

Caleb’s smile widened at Essek’s enthusiasm and he let his fingers fly over his phone screen.

Caleb: Not school per se – at least not in the traditional sense. I will be following a short training curriculum. Are you familiar with Kr'athin Abbanid ?

Essek: I am, actually. They host many interesting workshops, but I saw they also held a certification program. Is that what you will be doing?

Caleb: Yes. I start in just a few days.

Essek: Wonderful

Essek: Caleb, this is great. I know that I have told you before, but I will say it again – you will be excellent at this kind of work.

Taking another deep breath, Caleb drank in the encouragement and basked in it for a few seconds.

Caleb: Thank you, friend.

He hesitated for a moment before his confidence won over and he followed up with a cheekier message.

Caleb: Now let me get to work, otherwise you will never see this CV corrected.

He received one last message from Essek.

Essek: I would not dream of ever standing in your way, friend.

Chapter Text

Caleb and Essek had messaged more and more over the next few days, and to Caleb’s delight, Essek was keeping him updated on his job search. From sharing job postings and discussing interview preparation to the dramatic retelling of a slightly disturbing callback, it seemed that the two friends had grown close again. Caleb cherished this new development and began to find his footing again. Soon enough, he was hopping on his own new adventure and sharing details with Essek of different things he was learning. He wished, sometimes, that they would meet up in person again – but the thought of it often brought back the fear of having to hide his feelings, lest he made Essek uncomfortable and accidentally widened the slowly healing gap between the two of them. Therefore, they stuck to messaging each other. 

A few evenings later, Caleb was peacefully tucked into a corner of the couch, reading something for his class. The subject was interesting, but it did not have a single chance of retaining his attention when his phone buzzed with several successive messages from Essek.

Essek: Caleb, I have some good news.

Essek: I start at Luxon Ltd next Monday.

Caleb scrambled from his hunched position and tossed the book to the side. He sat up straight, bubbling with excited energy on behalf of Essek.

Caleb: Congratulations, my friend. It is well-deserved.

Essek: It was a long process. I do not think I have ever done four interviews for one same job before.

Essek: But I am pleased I did. Starting over at a new place feels a lot less daunting now that I have met the other developers and gotten to answer their questions – and ask some of my own.

Essek: I can appreciate a company that puts effort into their recruiting process.

Caleb chuckled as he remembered the carelessness that Bilan had exhibited during his own interview at Kryn & Kryn. He went to type in a comment on that but Essek beat him to it.

Essek: Not that anyone at Kryn & Kryn would know. 

Caleb: I was just going to bring that up. It seems that wherever you are moving to has their shit together.

Essek: I still cannot believe that they never called you for an interview when you were applying to take Mirimm’s place.

Caleb looked up at the ceiling, then shook his head. It had only been a few months, but the distress he had felt, the injustice he had faced – all of that seemed like a lifetime ago. He chose to downplay the event rather than delve into a painful reminiscing session.

Caleb: Yes, I took that rather hard, did I not? 

Essek: You did, and you were absolutely entitled to. They should never have treated an employee like that.

Caleb smirked.

Caleb: You tell me that you are not a good leader and that you were never meant to work in management, yet you have a better managerial instinct than all of the bosses we have had at Kryn & Kryn.

Essek: Yes, well. I suppose I was always biased because of how fond I am of you.

Caleb froze. The message stared at him like a taunt. Was he – did that… Fondness. Fondness does not mean anything. It means you are friends again. Don’t look any further than you can handle, Widogast, he berated himself. He sighed and rubbed a hand on his face, dragging his skin into a grimace. When he let go, Essek had moved on.

Essek: Anyway. I will let you know how my first day goes, if you are interested.

Caleb frowned. 

Caleb: I should hope to hear from you before then too – your first day is in 5 days.

Then he rolled his eyes. No need to sound so needy – and either way, Essek had not said that he would keep away in the meantime. 

Essek’s reply was good-natured.

Essek: I promised not to give you the silent treatment anymore, haven’t I?

Caleb wanted to comment on how Essek had shut himself out from their group chat after losing his job – but that would not have been fair, and so he held back from it. Instead, he went to change the subject.

Caleb: You did. Now tell me more about the new job, if you will. Do you know what Monday will look like?

Essek began typing right away, and it was a while before he sent out his answer.

Essek: Well, like I’ve said before, the company recently signed an important contract with the University of Rosohna’s biochemistry and molecular sciences department. They’re going to have me work on another team for a week, so that I can pick up on how the bio- side of the team works, how they clean up the data, run models over it and plot… but after that, they are planning to transfer me to the new software’s team. I will get to know their tools, the issues they encounter in their development process, and get familiar with what they hope to accomplish. Are you familiar with data mining and ML algorithms?

Caleb skimmed over the text apprehensively. It was as though everything Essek was referring to sounded like gibberish. He felt very small, all of a sudden, and worried that he was not able to keep up with his intelligent, academically experienced friend. Caleb had read a lot on bioinformatics, but most of his time had been spent on the biology side of the equation, and his knowledge of computer science was cursory at best. 

Caleb: Not particularly, no. It sounds like you will have your work cut out for you.

Essek, seemingly impervious to his discomfort, kept going. 

Essek: You could look into those – I am sure they would interest you. Perhaps I have a book laying around my apartment somewhere. I could bring it to you if you would like. 

Trying his best to let go of his foul mood, Caleb tried to avoid an occasion to look like a fool.

Caleb: I am reading something else at the moment. 

Essek: Of course. 

Essek typed for a moment longer, but then the indicator disappeared without another message. Caleb flicked through their conversation again, ruminating rather than reading anything seriously. A few moments later, he sighed impatiently and shut his phone, tossing it at his side and hunching over himself again. 

He mulled over their conversation for a little while, until something made him want to check Essek’s message again and see if he could perhaps find his bearings this time. As he read through it, it still made little sense, but a tendril of shame began creeping up into his chest. Essek had not meant to put him on the spot – it seemed as though he had merely been sharing his excitement. Scrolling further below, he got the sense that his reply erred on the side of rude, and he berated himself. Essek deserved better than someone who was rude to him as soon as their ego was bruised. 

Not that he could ever be deserving of Essek, anyway.

Caleb: Thank you, though. I appreciate the offer.

A moment later, Essek’s response came in, adding more weight on Caleb’s conscience.

Essek: Of course. 

He floundered for a while, not wanting to end their conversation here but unsure of where to steer it. Essek mistook his silence for something else.

Essek: That is enough about me, though. Thank you for sharing my excitement over this new opportunity, Caleb. 

Essek: I know I have been talking a lot about all of this recently.

Caleb let out a quiet hissing breath. He needed to come up with a good reply before Essek thought he was displeased with him. How much easier this would be if they were talking in person again! 

Caleb: And I am glad that you have. I enjoy getting news from you.

Caleb: Which leads me to think that I have not told you about my most recent decision.

Essek: Oh? And what would that be?

Caleb bit his lip. Now that he had brought the subject up, it seemed awfully self-centered to shift the conversation toward his own issues – but there was no turning back now. 

Caleb: I have been thinking about… what I told you happened back when I was working at Cerberus. And I think that I am ready to act on the things that I know.

Caleb: Over the past year, I think I have made good progress. I feel less like a fleeing hare and more like a person again. I have done some research and found out who was responsible for the ethics committee that approved Ikithon’s project, and I have been working on an email for them.

He thought back on the email for Chairperson Yudala Fon that was sitting in his draft folder and took a deep breath. It was good that he was sharing this with Essek, he convinced himself.

Caleb: I am hoping to meet with them and explain my concerns. I hope that they will hear me out and take them into consideration, even though the study might be over now.

Essek began typing and Caleb braced himself – though he was not sure for what.

Essek: Caleb, that is wonderful. And difficult, I am sure.

Essek: Your courage is commendable, and I hope that it bears good results – but either way, you are doing the right thing. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.

Caleb smiled: Essek’s response lifted some of the clouds that had weighed on his mind since he had made that decision. He was thankful for his friend’s support and understanding. A warm feeling overcame him, and this time, Caleb had the words to identify it: it was love. And this time, just this time… he let himself feel it freely, without any attempt to stifle it into silence. After all, if Essek was not here – perhaps he was allowed, just this once, to love him.

Days went by and soon enough, both Caleb and Essek were busy taking on new challenges. Essek had messaged Caleb with his first impressions about his new workplace, and while Caleb had been happy to hear from his friend, it had occurred to him how much easier it had been to keep in touch back when they were having daily coffee together. Essek only got busier and more tired as his first week went on and morphed into a second one – and Caleb was no stranger to such feelings either. His own certification program had begun a few days prior and saw him determined both to succeed and to make the most out of his learning experience. He felt woefully unprepared to work in the field for now, so he would at least make sure that he had strong bases in all of the main subjects so that he could continue his learning on the job – that is, if the certification was enough to secure him a job.

A car passed by Caleb and he shook himself from his thoughts, huffing and pulling his bag tighter on his shoulder. It was a sunny but cold day, and he’d taken the early morning to run some errands for Veth and himself before settling down to study. Ever since he had sent his message to the Chairperson of Soltryce university’s Ethics Committee, he’d found himself filled with nervous energy – going out meant trying to disperse it by making himself useful. All the same, the response-less email nagged at his brain and dragged him into the most unpleasant speculations. What if Yudala Fon had been in cahoots with Ikithon all this time? Perhaps the reply Caleb would get would be signed with his old mentor’s name instead, dripping with contempt – and perhaps even threats. Yes, most likely, the letter would contain threats, and he would need to move again – Caleb stopped himself from going any further down that rabbit hole and gritted his teeth. I will deal with this when I get a response. 

He did his best to focus his attention on the feeling of his feet on the ground and the sounds of the street around him until his home was in sight, and only then did he let his mind wander towards the things he needed to get done that day. He allowed himself a flutter of pride as he thought about how well he was doing in his classes so far – of course, he had gotten no formal results quite yet, but he could tell that he was understanding faster than his fellow students and that alone comforted him. Perhaps he did belong in the field after all.

Setting down one of his bags in front of the door, he fished his key out of his pocket and guided his frozen fingers towards the keyhole. A few moments later, he was inside, and the stuffy air of his old Rosohna apartment greeted him before Frumpkin even got the chance to. He barely registered it and bent down to keep his cat away from a package of salted cod, tucking him into his arms and ignoring his indignant mreow. Caleb’s phone buzzed within his pocket, and the sound gave Frumpkin wild eyes. He wiggled until Caleb had to let him down, and fled with his tail held high. 

Caleb chuckled soundlessly and began taking his boots off. A minute later, he hauled himself back to his feet, grunting with the stiff movement of his body, and made towards the kitchen to put away their groceries, interrupted only by inquisitive whiskers when Frumpkin hopped on top of the countertop.

“You know Veth does not want you on here,” Caleb sighed, but made no move to push the cat down. Frumpkin held Caleb company as he poured himself a glass of water and a bowl of crackers, then hopped down when he determined that the salted fish was gone for good, off to chase some imaginary mouse in Caleb’s room.

Caleb settled down at the kitchen table in a ray of sunshine, wanting to make the most of the frigid midday’s sun – he knew himself and Frumpkin to be similar in such a way, thanks to Veth’s gentle teasing. Opening his laptop, humming a low tune, he began to sift through emails.

The tune caught in his throat when he saw what awaited him in his inbox, freshly arrived from just a few minutes ago.

Fon, Yudala

7th of Misuthar

Dear Mr. Widogast,

I thank you for your email and for the information you have provided. Unfortunately, I cannot disclose any details on this – as it was an ongoing case before your message reached us – but rest assured that your contribution has been very helpful. I will remain available should you wish to add anything to your testimony and can assure you that confidentiality is one of our top priorities. 

Thank you for speaking up,

Yudala Fon

Chairperson, Soltryce University Ethics Committee

Caleb gaped at his screen; the vacillating LCD display felt as uncertain as his own confidence. This… vague reply did not provide the reassurances he wished it might. He rubbed the skin on his face with flat, sweaty palms, and took three long, deep breaths. He felt the tips of his fingers tingle with nervousness, that same energy that had kept him up late at night wondering. Now, he was finally faced with an answer – one that might allow him to put his past behind him! He scoffed at his own anxiety. Read the damned thing again, Dummkopf. Instead, he rose to his feet and began pacing in the kitchen. Adrenaline was coursing through his veins, the familiar fight-or-flight response that he both dreaded and was too accustomed to at the same time. This time, however, he felt more control over it, and he figured that the pacing might have helped. He attempted to remember the message.

“They said… that there was an ongoing case.” You did too little, too late, his inner critic supplied. Instead of giving into the thought, he huffed a frustrated sigh and closed his eyes, leaning over the sink in the full light of the midday sun. Try again, he thought patiently, and felt the voice retreat.

He spoke out loud again. “Ikithon was already under investigation. That means I am not the only one who reported things.” He cracked an eye open and felt the sunlight sting his retina. Reflexively, he shut it again, but relished the feeling of the light on his pale skin. I was not alone. I never have been, sounded another voice in his head, kinder.

What else had the letter said? “My message was helpful.” It hadn’t been too late for his story to matter. Even today, after so many years of chastising himself for not having spoken up. The conclusion wanted to burst out of his lips. “It might have been…” his voice faltered and he swallowed the rest of his sentence. It might have been… okay, to wait until I was ready. He cracked both eyes open and looked through the window, savoring the sight of the light reflecting on the snow outside. Perhaps waiting had not been a failure on his part, but rather the natural course of things.

What else had the letter said? “My testimony is confidential.” I am safe.

He took a shuddering breath, held it in for 6 seconds, and let it out slowly, feeling his diaphragm tighten in effort. I am safe.

He willed the words into existence: “I am safe.” After a beat, a hesitant smile twisted his lips. “I am safe,” he repeated, disbelieving but, at the same time, slightly exasperated at himself. While Ikithon had been his bogeyman, his most feared authority figure, the respected mentor who had made away with his trust for so many years… the man had hardly ever represented any physical safety threat, Caleb was well aware. 

It had taken some time and therapy with Mollymauk to recognize that his own sense of self-preservation did not see it the same way, and the mere thought of the man’s syrupy voice used to send him down into a fit of panic. Now, Caleb stood straight, the sun shining in his eyes, and he said it once more.

“I am safe.”

His smile widened and he closed his eyes once more.

He gave himself a few more minutes to relish in the sensation of newfound confidence, but eventually, he shook himself from his daze – after all, he had work to do. He gave the email a few more pleased once-overs before setting himself up to work on some readings for his class. 

He fell into a pleasant state of flow for the rest of the afternoon and was almost surprised when he heard the door creak open and felt a breeze of cold air push itself in his vicinity. The sun was now practically gone, and he had been squinting at his screen in the dark for far too long. He rose to his feet, flicked the light on and greeted his friend at the door.

“ Hallo, Veth.”

“Lebby! How was studying? Did you get any grades back? Did you and Essek have the chance to talk? I’m starving –” Veth came in like a whirlwind, spun around once before interrupting herself, fizzling with energy. She sniffed the underside of her arms and made a face. “I need a fucking shower.”

Caleb blinked once and followed her with his gaze as she threw her coat on top of the couch and made her way to her room, his mind still operating at a different pace. A day of having his nose inside a book did not prepare him quite well enough for Veth’s… intensity. He shook his head and smiled fondly before glancing back at the kitchen. Veth and he would need to eat – perhaps he could get started on dinner? He yawned and stretched, his shirt lifting up to show the slightest peep of stomach, before making his way to the kitchen.

He was mindlessly peering in the fridge when Veth emerged several minutes later, hair wet and wrapped in a towel. She was holding two different outfits.

“So I’m thinking… this one is more, like… on the cutesy side? But this one –” she explained, dangling one outfit towards Caleb, “this one… is friskier.” She waggled her eyebrows.

Caleb blinked in confusion, then appraised both outfits – the first one a yellow flared dress, and the second dress a vibrant shade of pink sporting a deep neckline that he was sure warranted  its descriptor.

“Uh… hmm. I…” he glanced at Veth, expecting some kind of guidance on what to say, but she just looked at him expectantly. “Are these… new?” he smiled, hoping he’d read the situation correctly.

Veth sighed and rolled her eyes. “You’re hopeless. Were you even listening?”

Caleb held his hands out defensively. “I– I was!” She handed both outfits to his empty, outstretched hands and started drying her hair with the towel. Clutching the hangers, he continued. “You were describing these to me. One of them is –” he held out the yellow dress, “– cuter, and the other one –” 

She stepped forward and took the yellow dress. “You’re right, I’ll be cuter in this. Thanks Caleb, you’re the best!”

Caleb frowned in confusion. “Wait – you’re putting it on now?”

“Keep your pants on, I can go change in my room,” she teased, but then squinted at him. “I thought you were listening to me! I told you all about my date a few minutes ago.”

Caleb cocked his head. “While you were in the shower?”

“No, before. I was sure I’d heard you humming and hawing across the door, I figured you were standing outside!”

Caleb chuckled. “Why would I be standing outside the bathroom door while you shower?”

Veth shrugged. “You tell me.”

“But I was not –” Caleb sighed and rubbed his eyes, then flapped a dismissive hand. “It doesn’t matter. You talked about a date?”

Veth spun around once, twirling the towel outwards like a too-heavy silk scarf. “With the most handsome, sexiest little man alive,” she confirmed before shimmying a little dance. 

Caleb squinted. “That would not be Yeza, by any chance?”

Veth nodded like the cat that got the cream. “The man himself!”

“Oh,” Caleb smiled approvingly. “Please tell him hi from me, will you?” He found that he missed Yeza’s quiet, steady presence.

Veth narrowed her eyes at him. “You think we’re gonna talk about you tonight? No way, José. We’re gonna have a mesmerizing evening at some fancy restaurant, he’s gonna woo me, and then he’s going to take me home and we are going to be way too busy to even think about you – if ya know what I mean…”

Caleb scrunched his nose. “I don’t – I meant…”

Veth laughed and waved her hand dismissively. “I’m kidding. Of course I’ll pass along your well-wishes. Once you get together with Essek we should go on a double-date, sometime.”

If Caleb was not flustered before, he now definitely felt his ears grow hot. Thankfully, Veth put him out of his misery by going on about her date.

“He messaged me this morning and said he’d gotten tickets to a dinner show downtown tonight. Spontaneous and romantic: how could I ever resist him?”

“You were not exactly trying to,” Caleb retorted primly, perhaps to take some of the heat off himself.

“Precisely,” Veth replied immediately, as if he was proving her own point. “Anyway, I’m leaving soon. Hopefully my hair has time to dry before then. Will you be ok tonight?”

“Of course,” Caleb reassured her.  

She disappeared to her room and was gone for a few minutes, and Caleb decided he would settle for some tea and eat later instead. He heated some water for Veth, too, in case she needed to sit and unwind a little before her date. For all of her exuberance about the night, Caleb knew Veth had not gone out with anyone special in a long time. Yeza and her were certainly an interesting fit. He chuckled to himself.

But as he settled down with his tea, there was a twinge in his heart. He willed it away with a sigh, and did his best not to dwell on how much he missed going out with Essek. 

Chapter Text

A few days later, upon hearing about Chairperson Yudala Fon’s reply, Veth had insisted on throwing him a “get-out-of-trauma” party – which, in the end, consisted of the two of them going for drinks at a quiet bar downtown. For now, the letter remained their little secret: for all that Caleb wanted to share his happiness with the people around him, disclosing the information meant that he would need to delve into the details of his whole tragic story, and for now, he preferred to simply savor it with his closest friend. The only other person who knew about his experience at Cerberus was Essek, and… well, he was sure there would be a good time to tell him about it eventually. 

But days turned into weeks, and nearly a month after the email, they still had not spoken about it.

Despite that, Caleb and Essek had been talking more, lately. They mostly went on about articles they had read, books they were curious about and other academic interests; it felt as though they were falling back into their usual routine at Kryn & Kryn, before anything too serious had begun happening. Caleb amused Essek once by qualifying those times fondly as “the quiet times”. Essek had taunted him by pointing out that those times saw them work under Bilan and their boss perpetually failing to recognize Caleb’s skills properly. They had both laughed, or so Essek’s messages had led Caleb to believe. 

More and more often, they laughed together, despite the barrier of written communication. Perhaps that was for the best: despite knowing that it would lead nowhere, Caleb found himself unable – or unwilling – to quell his infatuation. He was growing complacent with his feelings, and day by day, they became  part of what he naturally associated with Essek. To him, Essek evoked… early morning coffees, comfortably quiet late-night chats at the bakery, a gentle, soft focus on a rewarding project, and a faint but steady fluttering in his chest. This was his new normal, and he was loath to part with it on the grounds that it was unwelcome. After all, it made him feel so good – how could such a feeling be inherently wrong? As long as he managed to keep it under wraps and spare Essek the discomfort of having to remind him it wasn’t welcome, Caleb figured he was good to keep loving Essek.

Otherwise, life remained mostly the same. Caleb lost himself in a cycle of studying, essays and exams, doing some personal reading in parallel to his own curriculum and generally disappearing into his laptop most of the time. He felt good about it – this was so much like the thrill of learning he had felt when beginning university, but different enough that it was not tainted by the bitterness that accompanied thoughts of those times. 

Sometimes, it felt as though things were coming full circle. It had been several years now that he had left Soltryce University, and yet here he was, the same thirst for knowledge, but this time, it was tempered by wisdom. The years hadn’t dampened his intelligence, but simply redirected it towards different things in life. He was a bright young man once, but he was also a fool, and he was somehow glad to be neither anymore. 

Caleb chuckled as he caught himself daydreaming instead of studying. He clicked his pen a few times and stared at his laptop, following the trail of its wavering blue light against the skin of his fingers. He sighed and snapped the computer shut: it seemed like he was done concentrating for the day. After all, he could allow himself a shorter day, seeing as it was his birthday. 

Putting aside his musings on the passage of time, he rose and stretched, then put some water on for tea. He stood by the sink, tapping his fingers against the countertop, and his mind started wandering towards food. He could go out and grab a special birthday dessert for himself. He would have eaten someplace special, too, had Veth not made a batch of his favourite comfort food in the slow cooker. The whole kitchen smelled like the most delicious chili, and it had his mouth watering. 

What can I say, he thought, I am a simple man with simple tastes. He had not told his friend the reason why it was his favourite: it was unnervingly similar to his own mother’s recipe. But somehow, perceptive Veth had guessed something along those lines, leading her to prepare some for him on his first birthday alone.

He used to celebrate with his family every year, but when he had left for university and begun drawing away from them, it was to celebrate with his classmates Astrid and Eadwulf. The three of them got up to no good under his influence, and it was as exhausting as it was exhilarating. The year where he had fallen out of favor with his old mentor and left the country, he had found Veth right around midwinter, and they had celebrated his birthday together ever since. 

This year, things were going to be different. Veth had been out more often than not since her first date with Yeza, and since she had met his child Luc, they had been doing things together every weekend – going to the science center, playing laser tag – the three of them fit so well, it looked as though Veth was becoming part of the family. She had been so torn when Yeza had invited her for Luc’s birthday – at Luc’s explicit request – on the same day as Caleb’s. It’s like I have to choose between my two boys, she had cried with dismay, and Caleb had wanted none of that nonsense. He’d promptly reassured her that he was all grown up and that they could celebrate his birthday on another day, and that it was only natural to prioritize Luc. After all, he had had both of his parents with him during his whole childhood, and though he did not voice his observations, he knew that Veth had begun seeing Luc as her own son. He could very well see that the child brought another part of her forward – the protective and gentle side that she usually kept reserved for him. 

It would be a lie to say that Veth’s absence did nothing to him, but he would never blame her for it. He stood by his point: it was better if she celebrated with Luc. And if this became a regular thing, then they could simply move his birthday to another day and make a new tradition. The smell of chili made with love comforted his heart as he settled in for a quiet evening with his cat. 

He had been touched to receive birthday messages in the group chat, first from Beauregard – he had his suspicions on where she might have gotten the information – quickly followed by everyone else save Caduceus, whom he knew never went online if he could avoid it. Beauregard’s message had been short, but they had had a good conversation in private and agreed to grab drinks a week from today. Jester had sent a selfie of her giving Fjord an overly enthusiastic side hug, and added stickers of little hats as well as a blue kazoo on Fjord’s mouth, accompanied by a very enthusiastic message filled with emojis. The others’ messages had been earnest and generous, and it had warmed his heart to see how supported and cared for he still was, despite leaving Kryn & Kryn. It seemed that these friendships would need more than that to fall apart. 

He was pouring hot water into his mug when his hand jolted in surprise and he spilled some on the countertop: there had been a knock at the door, and it had spooked him. He put the kettle down and took a steadying breath, thankful that his other hand had not been burned in the process. 

It is a little late for deliveries, no? his thoughts provided. Perhaps Veth had brought Luc and Yeza over to say hi – no, the idea was preposterous. Why would Luc want to see a man he had never met before on his birthday? He quelled his hopes and made his way towards the door.

The knocking did not sound again despite the time he took to get there, but when he did open the door, his eyes widened. Essek was there, standing in the cold, hair ruffled as though he had just taken a winter hat off, his breath fluttering in a cloud of steam in front of him. His cheeks and nose were darkened by the cold or some other reason for him to flush, and it struck Caleb then that this was their first time seeing each other in the flesh since before the announcement of Essek’s termination, several weeks ago.  

He gaped for a solid second, but when he saw that Essek’s eyes were wide and… nervous? He shook himself from his stupor and stammered a welcome.

“Essek! I – uh, I was not expecting you here tonight,” he glanced at his threadbare t-shirt and sweatpants and gave a nervous laugh. “I…” he looked back up and saw that Essek bore a small, apologetic smile. He pushed aside his self-conscious thoughts and tried to let his surprise pass. “I am happy to see you, Mein Freund.” 

“I hope I have not, ah…” Essek hesitated, then stole a glance behind Caleb, “interrupted your plans for the night?” 

Caleb widened the door and motioned for his friend to come inside. “ Nein, no plans for tonight. Your presence is very welcome. Please, come in, make yourself at home,” he added, perhaps needlessly. Worried he might have sounded too friendly (was there… such a thing?), he added “…before the cat decides it’s his lucky day and tries to escape,” meaning to lighten the mood. 

Instead, Essek’s ears shot up and he scuttled into the narrow apartment entrance, apologizing profusely. “Of course, I am – sorry, I did not think –”

In a perfect world, Caleb would have corrected Essek’s understanding, perhaps in a clever way that drove the joke home unmistakably, and they would both chuckle reasonably at the misunderstanding. In a perfect world, though, Essek was not crowding him, pushing very close in his attempt to shut the door behind him. Caleb could feel the fur lining of Essek’s winter coat brush against his cheek, and somehow, because this was in no way a perfect world, he found himself too flustered to step back, too struck by Essek’s presence as a shining beacon of familiarity to even move.

Essek managed to squeeze the door shut, and it was only when he turned to face Caleb once more and huffed out a nervous laugh that Caleb realized he was standing far too close. He took a wide step back and leaned his hand on the wall, then caught both hands behind his back, then decided it made him look like a prepubescent schoolboy and crossed his arms, before deciding it was too unwelcoming and reverted to an awkward lean on the side of the wall. Essek shuffled in the entrance, looking down at something he had in his hands.

“I was thinking,” Essek began, then stopped himself and confusion spread on his face as he looked up into the apartment. “Well – I… perhaps I have it wrong. Is it… I was under the impression that it was your birthday?” 

Caleb’s hand slid off the wall, his pose forgotten, and he nodded emphatically. “ Ja, yes, it is. That is today. Today is… my birthday,” he added uselessly, then cursed himself.

Essek did not smirk or point out his repetitive floundering, instead bringing his gaze back down towards his leather gloves. He seemed to steel himself and looked back at Caleb with unreadable eyes. “I have this for you,” he said as he handed Caleb the small parcel he was holding.

Caleb’s eyes flitted towards the package, then back at Essek, and finally, he seemed to find his countenance. He put a hand in his own pocket to keep it from going to Essek’s shoulder and gestured towards the kitchen with his other one. “Then take off your coat and come inside, friend. Let me offer you a cup of tea.”

Essek seemed to relax. He handed Caleb the parcel – which had been wrapped in a deep green wrapping paper and tied with a white, softly curled ribbon. Caleb ran his hand over it appreciatively and found a small tag which bore his name in Essek’s slender, curvy handwriting. Essek then took off his gloves and set them gingerly on the entrance shelf.

“I do not want to impose, I know your…” he huffed a quiet laugh and continued, his voice almost a whisper, “roommate is not fond of me.”

Caleb remembered all of the times where Veth had tried to get him to confess to Essek and added, unthinkingly, “I think you have grown on her.”

When Essek glanced at him questioningly, Caleb waved a dismissive hand and gestured to take Essek’s coat. “Besides,” he continued, “Veth is not here tonight, she had a prior engagement. It is just me, my cat and my books,” he hung Essek’s coat, “and we are now in the best possible company: yours.” 

Mein Gott, I really am physically unable to stop flirting, am I? he thought, but the critical voice in his head melted away as his eyes met Essek’s. 

Essek seemed to preen a little at Caleb’s last words and put his boots away before tilting his head towards Caleb. “Lead the way, friend.”

Essek was familiar with his apartment from multiple visits spent browsing and discussing books, so Caleb led him silently to the kitchen. His heart gave an affectionate flutter when, out of the corner of his eye, he spied Essek bending down and picking a purring Frumpkin up and settling the cat in his arms. Caleb pulled a chair for Essek and the drow stopped halfway through a stroke of Frumpkin’s soft fur. 

“Can I sit at the table with him?” Essek asked weakly, and it was all Caleb could do to not melt into a puddle. 

Instead, he winked and moved away to put some more water on, depositing the parcel on the table as he went by. “We will simply have to keep it a secret from Veth,” he shrugged nonchalantly, and when he stole another glance, Essek was sitting down with Frumpkin on his lap. The cat then wriggled out of Essek’s arms, but instead of jumping down, he paced into a circle and sat down in the middle of Essek’s thighs, staring the drow right in the face. The two began a staring contest, which Essek promptly lost as Frumpkin bumped his head to Essek’s cheek and rubbed against it affectionately. His friend shut his eyes at the movement, but when he opened them again, they met Caleb’s and he could see them twinkle with joy. 

Caleb had to change the subject. He had to think about anything except the sheer love that he felt at what he had just seen. 

“How have you been, Essek? How has the new job been treating you? Oh –” he interrupted himself, “– chamomile, jasmine or earl grey? I am afraid our options are more limited here than at the Nestled Nook.”

Essek smiled at him and resumed petting Frumpkin’s head. “Jasmine is perfect, thank you. I do miss their selection,” he added as an afterthought.

Caleb turned towards his friend, setting both mugs on the table in front of them and making his way to the shelf where he kept the tea. “Have you been back?”

Essek shook his head. “It isn’t the same,” he explained, gazing back at the cat.

Caleb nodded. “Then perhaps we can… go again together sometime,” he offered.

Fortunately, it brought Essek’s smile back. “I would be amenable to that, yes.”

Once Caleb sat down, it seemed as though they both felt more confident navigating the space between them. 

“To answer your questions,” Essek began, “work has been keeping me busy. I think that is a good thing. I am constantly learning. It is very different from my old academic circles. More convoluted in some ways, but… more pragmatic in others, perhaps.” He smirked. “You would get along well with some of my coworkers. I told you about the man from HR?”

Caleb nodded and chuckled. “Perhaps you will surround yourself with a wild bunch of weirdos over there, just like you did at Kryn & Kryn’s.” 

Essek lifted an eyebrow. “If you think you are getting rid of me that easily, you are mistaken, Widogast.” Then, he chuckled ruefully. “I think every place needs a Jester to bring people together like she does so well.”

Caleb hummed and tested the temperature of his tea. Still too hot.

“I miss them,” Essek added after a beat. 

“They miss you.”

Frumpkin jumped down and wandered into the living room.

“Do you think they would…” Essek stopped himself mid-sentence and brushed a few cat hairs off of his pants.

Caleb frowned. “Essek, you know they have been asking about you. They would love to see you or hear from you again.”

Essek glanced back up and sighed. “I wondered. I…” he hesitated. “I deleted my account with the chat service that we used, since… there were some discussions in there that I probably should not have had access to. I did not want to give Kryn & Kryn any reason to come after me for fraud.”

Caleb huffed. “I know you would not use any of the information in there against a former employer, Essek. Everyone knows that. Besides, how would Da’leth learn about it anyway?”

Essek wrapped his hands around his mug. “I wanted to… err on the safe side.” Gingerly, he took a sip. When Caleb gave him a disbelieving stare, Essek added quietly: “You never know where allegiances lay.”

“You know that is a load of bull,” Caleb retorted, vexed on behalf of their friends.

Essek threw a hand up. “Fine! I felt lonely, and scared, and I self-sabotaged. Then I spent the following weeks trying to find an excuse for disappearing on you all and this is the best I came up with.” He deflated and added: “Is that better?”

Caleb’s annoyance evaporated like snow in the sun. “Mmh,” he commiserated softly. “Self-sabotage is a hard habit to get rid of, in my own experience.”

Essek brought his mug up. “I am just glad I had your phone number,” he murmured, his voice strained, before taking a sip.

Caleb smiled. “So am I.”

They sat in companionable silence for a few moments, sipping quietly. Eventually, Caleb opened his mouth to speak, and at the same time, Essek began a sentence. They both interrupted themselves, sharing a moment of silent amusement. 

“You were going to say?” prompted Essek.

“I will add you back to the chat server, if you would like. It might do you some good, to find yourself between old friends again.” Caleb ran a finger along the grain of the wooden table, following its pattern.

“I would like that very much,” came Essek’s quiet response.

“What were you going to say?” Caleb tilted his head towards his friend.

Essek smiled and reached across the table for the parcel, depositing it in front of Caleb. “Open your gift, Caleb.”

Essek looked at him so fondly that it made Caleb’s heart hurt, so he looked down at the package instead. Upon closer inspection, the parcel’s wrapping paper was speckled with little Erlenmeyers, microscopes and molecular structure representations. 

Seeing him inspect the paper, Essek pitched in an explanation: “It was the closest I could find to one of your main interests. I thought perhaps you might find it… endearing.”

Instead of responding, Caleb just looked at Essek and felt his smile widen. They stared at each other for a beat before he forced his attention back on the gift, his cheeks sore but his heart warm. Caleb slid a finger under the corner of the wrapping and tore it open, unfolding the package with curiosity. The size and format of it suggested it might be a book, which did not surprise Caleb, but he was intrigued as to what it might be about. For a minute, Caleb hoped it was a copy of one of Essek’s academic publishings, before he remembered that they likely would not have made it into books. He bit his lip and peeled the wrapping off, revealing – 

“A journal?” Caleb blurted out, spreading his fingers over the cover. Immediately, his eyes ran over the book, searching for signs that would reveal whether Essek had made it himself, mirroring the gift he’d made for Essek a few months prior. The stitching seemed regular enough to have been made by a professional, but a glance at the back of the book revealed a few bubbles around the joint and hinge where they met the end papers. Caleb looked up towards Essek.

“You made it yourself?” he near-whispered. 

Essek nodded, then combed his hair back with one hand. “Of course, it is nowhere near the level of skill you have with bookbinding – it was, after all, only my third attempt at it – and some might call it an uninspired gift, but since you and I are so similar, I thought perhaps you would enjoy this as much as I enjoyed –”

Before he could really think the movement through, Caleb moved a hand towards Essek’s forearm to stop his somewhat deprecating tirade. Essek’s eyes followed Caleb’s hand like a cat and the closer it got to him, the slower his words came. When Caleb’s hand came to a rest on him, Essek quieted and glanced up with a smile.

“Do you like it?” he inquired.

Caleb took one more look at his friend before returning his attention to the book. He smoothed the flyleaf and let his eyes linger on the quality paper. Running a finger over the stitching he could see, he hummed in satisfaction. “Your stitching is impeccable, my friend. You have the hands of an artist.” He met Essek’s gaze in earnest this time. “It is beautiful, and I do know how much time and dedication went into this - it makes me appreciate it even more. Thank you, Essek.”

Essek seemed to straighten on his chair, his expression growing more confident. “I hypothesized that a full leather binding might require supplies and skill I was unlikely to acquire within a few months, so I decided to leave that to your expertise and aim instead for a… more standard binding. This,” he leaned closer and pointed at the desaturated blue cloth covering the front board, “was hard to find. I believe binder’s buckram is only available in a limited amount of colors, and those did not suit my project. But I was able to order this lovely shade of cornflower blue from a small shop in Marquet.” Essek leaned back and threw Caleb an appreciative glance. “It matches your eyes. I knew I had it right,” he mused – quieter now, as though commenting to himself. 

Before Caleb could sputter out a response, Essek hummed and broke eye contact, leaning back on his chair. “Well,” he began, then let a beat pass. “I am pleased to see you enjoy your gift. Perhaps it will hold notes for your studies, or personal musings of some sort. I only hope it will be useful to you.”

Caleb nodded. “It will. Thank you, Essek. I am very – ” he let his gaze drop back on the book and thumbed at its spine, “very impressed with your skill, but most importantly,” he cocked his head to mark his point, “I am thankful for the thought that went into this. You are an amazing friend, and I…” He sighed and let his eyes flutter closed, “I can only hope to return such friendship.”

He heard movement and opened his eyes again: Essek was leaning over the table, closer now to him than he had been since the beginning of this conversation. “You are incredible, Caleb Widogast, and I am lucky to have you in my life. You deserve gifts, and kindness, and support, and every good thing that I can send your way.”

It was said with a fierceness that surprised Caleb, and even Essek, it seemed, as he leaned back out of his space almost immediately. In that moment, Caleb suddenly wanted to believe everything Veth and the others had hinted at in the past about how Essek loved him. He wanted to believe it so badly; he wanted to grab Essek’s hands and bring them to his lips, pepper them with kisses, and bury himself in his hold. He was Icarus, flying closer and closer to the sun with every longing gaze and unwarranted touch. Except Icarus’s flight had been a mistake, and he had screamed as he had fallen to his death… unlike Caleb, who was painfully aware that this love would be the end of him, and yet, still wanted more. 

His chest hurt with the strength of his yearning, and he swallowed hard. Silence stretched between them for several seconds.

Essek looked down at his half-empty cup and his shoulders rose as he sighed. “I do not want to take up more of your evening. Thank you for having me, Caleb,” Essek began, letting his shoulders slump down.

“Stay for dinner, Essek. I would love to have your company for as long as you will give it to me.” The offer was out before Caleb could consider that perhaps Essek was tired, and that he had merely been wording his exit tactfully. He course-corrected: “That being said, you look tired. I can also pack you some food and you can eat at home, too.”

Essek smiled and shook his head. “No, I would much rather spend the evening with you. It smells delicious – what do you have cooking?”

Caleb rose and made his way to the slow cooker, lifted the lid and stirred the food. “I can take none of the credit for this – Veth made it. It is nothing too complicated, though right up your alley, I think. A meaty chili.”

Essek leaned his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his hands. “Ah, I can smell it. Your friend is a good cook, I am sure.”

Caleb nodded. “She is, though it can be experimental at times. I never mind, though.” He grabbed two bowls and brought them on the countertop before rummaging through a cupboard for something else.

Essek rose. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Caleb looked back as his friend came next to him. “No, I – ach – I would have offered you some wine if…” he grimaced as he brought down a bottle of red wine with a label that looked as though it had been designed by a third grader. “– if we had anything good. As it stands, I can only offer you a glass of… ‘Mommy’s Time Out’,” he read from the bottle.

Essek took the bottle from him and turned it, inspecting its label, then set it on the table with confidence. “I think,” he began with gusto, “that I will take this ‘time out’, though I fear it might not be as well-deserved as Mommy’s.”

The phrase made Caleb snort, and he reached up for two wine glasses and passed them on to Essek. “I am sure you work plenty hard, my friend.”

Essek shrugged and placed the glasses on the table. “Are the utensils in there?” he asked, pointing to the topmost drawer, and when Caleb nodded, he took care of setting the rest of the table as Caleb ladled chili into the bowls. 

A few seconds later, they both sat down, and Essek motioned for the bottle opener that Caleb held in his hand. Caleb gladly let Essek open the bottle, and for a moment, considered specifying that he had not been the one to purchase the wine – but then, this had “Veth” written all over it. Surely Essek would have guessed.

When Essek freed the cork from its glass prison, he poured each of them a glass and sat back down. “To another year spent in your excellent company, Caleb. Happy birthday,” he toasted, and they both took a sip. Caleb coughed as the smell of the wine hit his nostrils and swallowed the wrong way. He did his best to control his coughing and tears formed into his eyes. Essek looked worried for a second, but Caleb attempted to wave and shake his head, indicating that he was alright. Ten seconds later, the cough subsided, and he leaned over to grab the bottle. There, on the label, it read 23% Alcohol by volume. He blinked, swallowed and croaked: “What is this, a dessert wine?” He cleared his throat and looked at Essek, then showed him the label. “I know it’s supposed to be a Zinfandel, but twenty-three percent?”

Essek blinked owlishly at him. “They did say it was Mommy’s time out.”

Caleb choked again and had to control his laughter. Meanwhile, Essek took another sip. He emerged from behind his glass with a cheeky smirk. 

“Caleb Widogast. Would you like to know me in a way that nobody else ever has?”

Caleb was infinitely thankful to be able to blame the wine for the choked sound that came out of him just then, and for the growing redness he was certain his ears were sporting. He took a deep breath and nodded.

Essek leaned in. “Then here is a secret for you: I can act like a wine snob just fine, but I cannot tell any of them apart to save my life.”

Caleb’s eyes widened. “You… what?” He cleared his throat again, but it was lost to a giggle, and he was left wondering if the alcohol might have already had an effect on him. Of course, it had not, but – had he always been like this with Essek?

Unaware, Essek continued. “Of course, I can tell them apart by color. There is red, then there is white, and rosé. And I can talk about wine with a casual connoisseur quite well. I have had to learn a few tricks – it is the kind of snobbery that is expected from my family.” His smirk grew, letting the tip of a pointed canine peek out. “But when you think about it, it is all social imitation. I can gather some information from the bottle, and as Beauregard would put it, ‘bounce off’ of what the other person is saying.” He shrugged. “It helps, too, that people seem to expect it of me. I do not have to prove much, simply play along with their expectations.”

Caleb chuckled. “And to think I apologized for the quality of this wine. I fell for your act!” 

Essek grinned. “You did. I have most people completely fooled. The closer you look at the bottle, the more you look like you care. And tell people about how mineral or acidic or fruity the wine tastes, or how well it pairs with a certain part of your dish, and you will always sound like a connoisseur.”

Caleb rolled his eyes. “So you are one of these people who use ridiculous descriptors in an attempt to sound intelligent.”

“But I am intelligent,” Essek scoffed. “And no,” he added, sounding almost defensive, “of course not. You have to sell the lie, not make a complete fool of yourself.” He pulled up three fingers. “I know that wine should not be called dry, but mineral, because dry refers to the old practice of adding sugar to wine – which they do not do anymore,” he began, lowering one finger. “I know that red wine does not pair well with delicate foods,” he continued, lowering another. “And I now know that –” he grimaced before finishing his sentence through clenched teeth, “you must never attempt to convince Beauregard that you know wines unless you are prepared to have your ass handed back to you.”

Caleb let out a full laugh at that. “Her last name is Lionett! Did you not think she might be related to the Lionett Estate winery?”

Essek pursed his lips in apparent displeasure, but the twinkle in his eye told Caleb another story. “I told you, Caleb. I do not know wine. Now please, eat your chili and stop making me regret this visit.”

Caleb tried to peel his grin off, but all he succeeded in was widening it. When Essek took another sip of Mommy’s Time Out and glared at him primly, Caleb had to lean his forehead on his fist and let the laughter pass over him.

Twelve seconds later, he had let most of it out, and his stomach reminded him of the delicious meal in front of him. He glanced at Essek, who had been eating already, and something very close to hope flickered in his heart. Essek was looking at him fondly, his eyes soft and his spoonful of chili forgotten in his bowl.

This hope was intoxicating, but also worrying. Would he end up talking himself into believing something that was not real, misled by his own wishful thinking? Would he believe that Essek might love him back, and that he had some other reason for rejecting him? Would he make a move, only to suffer the loss of their friendship once more, and for good?

Or would he remain staunchly guarded and refuse to see any signs that Essek did love him, deciding instead to let the opportunity pass by him rather than expose himself to rejection?

That sounded a whole lot like self-sabotage again. He had no lessons to teach Essek on that front, it seemed.

The laughter had drained out of him and he was now playing with his food. Fortunately, Essek misunderstood his shift in mood completely. 

“Are you thinking about your family?” he asked, intelligent eyes clouded over with empathy. 

The assumption surprised Caleb and he found himself stiffening. He probably should have been thinking about his family. That sounded like something a normal person would do on birthdays, rather than uselessly pining for a dream that would never happen.

He did take the perch Essek had unknowingly handed him, though. “Veth’s chili recipe is unnervingly similar to my mother’s, and it never fails to remind me of her. I think she knows that her chili recipe is a comfort food for me, but she does not know the full extent of it.”

Essek hummed in understanding. “Your mother sounds like a wonderful person, from the bits and pieces I have heard from you.” A few beats later, he added: “I am sure that she would be proud of who you are now.”

Caleb grimaced and glanced at Essek, ready to offer up some bitter, self-deprecating retort, but he saw earnestness in his friend’s expression, and it melted some of his own sharp edges. He sighed, and it rattled dust off from his bones. “She was,” he confirmed. Instinctively, he knew he would be better off if they changed the subject for now. Perhaps he was a little too tightly wound tonight to offer much more on the matter of his family. “Thank you,” he still added, if only to make Essek feel better. “Please, Essek, I need to eat too. Tell me about work. How has that been going?”

Essek gave him a soft smile, acknowledging and respecting the conversational shift. While Caleb ate, Essek humored him with a sigh: “Work has been… good, I suppose.” He picked up his spoon and began tracing figures in his chili. “It is strange. One minute, I will feel like I know way more than all of my colleagues combined; the next, I will make an idiot of myself and show just how unused I am to working in such a setting. It is new… for me.” Essek paused, then shrugged and ate a bite.

Caleb took the opportunity to reassure him. “That is why teamwork is so important. Feeling incompetent in one instance does not erase your competence at other moments. It seems to me like you can all learn from each other.” He hesitated. “Do you like your colleagues?”

Essek hummed and swallowed. “I do, actually. They are excellent at what they do, and… they do not outright dislike me. I suppose I must give it a little longer until I feel at home with peers again; things were so different at Kryn & Kryn.” 

When Caleb cocked his head in curiosity, Essek continued. “It was small, you know? For a while there, it was just the two of us working IT. And there were only about – what – eighty employees, give or take a few. We knew everyone by name, we knew their quirks, their interests…” he sighed. “It was easier to handle people in such a context, even if they were sometimes downright insufferable.” 

Essek lifted his spoon to mark his next point: “But at Luxon? There’s hundreds of employees. I have been under their employ for almost a month now, and yet I can barely recall the intricacies of their structure. Particularly unhelpful is the fact that they do not follow a standard hierarchical pattern – there are self-directed teams who communicate with each other in ways that… to me, resemble complete anarchy.” He shrugged. “But it works. Quality software is being produced at an impressive speed. I can only wonder how much technical debt is being accumulated – but if my own team’s is anything to go by, it is… somewhat manageable,” he added with an approximate gesture of his hand. His eyes met Caleb’s. “I am certainly interested in whatever they are doing to make this work. It is different from what I knew, and I find the results promising. I wonder if any studies have been made on this kind of organizational culture…” he blinked and his eyes unfocused for a moment, lost in thought. “Though I suppose they would have to isolate variables and make sure that whatever success they were observing was due to the organizational structure and not to, say, microcultures, or… hmm.”

Caleb interrupted him. “You know, there was an article that I read recently on this. It went over the latest research on servant leadership and non-traditional managerial structures.”

Essek peered at him curiously. “Of course – that is exactly the kind of thing that you would study right now, is it not? Perhaps we can learn from each other.” He leaned his chin on his wrist. “And how is that going?”

Caleb set down his spoon and pointed at Essek. “I am sure you would thoroughly enjoy learning about these things.” He smiled. “I am having a great time, Essek. I was completely unaware that most of this knowledge existed before you came along and told me about this field. Now, I am devouring every piece of literature I can find on these subjects. I wonder why it is not more common knowledge.” Then, he stopped and thought for a second. “Although perhaps this program does not go enough in depth on specific techniques for your detail-oriented mind.” He smirked. “You would get frustrated at all of the things we are introduced to but never go in depth on.”

Essek chuckled. “The only flaw of such introductory programs.”

“Yes, and everyone must build their own niche afterwards.” Caleb shrugged. “That is why I am eager to hop on the job market again and put these concepts to the test.”

Essek narrowed his eyes. “And when do you think you will be done with this program?”

“I have the certification exam in a week and a half.”

Essek’s eyes widened. “So soon – and what will you do next?”

“Start building my own niche, I suppose. I was thinking that I could put my surface understanding of programming to better use and take a course on user experience and interfaces,” Caleb explained, fiddling with his spoon.

Essek hummed appreciatively. “That would definitely give you an interesting advantage. I know there are some excellent engineers that have truly disappointing common sense when it comes to software usability. Your insight would be much appreciated in a team like mine,” he grumbled. 

Caleb chuckled. “I thought your team was competent?”

“Yes, and…” Essek sighed, the corners of his mouth upturned in a chastened smile. “Well, like I said. They show me up in some areas, but in others…” he interrupted himself by taking another spoonful of chili.

Caleb hummed. “You must be learning so much from them, and them from you,” he said enviously.

Essek grimaced but followed it with a laugh. “I think my ego bruises a bit from it at times, but – yes, you are right.” He seemed about to say something else but stopped himself, then frowned. “This kind of program that you are thinking of doing after – it qualifies as continuing education, yes?”

Caleb nodded. “Yes – well, I could either pick a full-time or a part-time schedule. I would have to look into prices and the quality of the course.”

Essek leaned closer. “Most employers will facilitate this kind of learning in some way –” he corrected himself: “good employers, anyway. They might offer time off to study for an evaluation, or offer to pay for part of the course…”

Caleb sighed. “Well, ja, but I would need a job first.” He grimaced. “I am not quite qualified enough to have a steady job in the field yet, but on the other side, the best way to learn is on the job. This is the predicament I am in,” he explained, gesturing with his free hand. “And sometimes, I feel like it would be easier if I were an engineer, like some of my classmates. Sometimes, I get lost in their jargon…”

Essek sniffed with contempt. “An engineer unable to explain their process to a non-technical colleague without using jargon is a poor one indeed.”

Caleb sighed. “I suppose. But that does not mean I can rest hoping that engineers and developers will always cater to my limited knowledge.”

“That is true. But please, let me assuage your concerns: the field of software development is so diverse and complex that even a proficient engineer such as myself sometimes encounters unfamiliar jargon. Asking questions is a good thing.” He leaned back with a satisfied smile. “Besides, an engineer working as a process specialist could easily presume too much and let their technical expertise interfere with the work of the team. I think you are doing well in your desire to learn just enough about a lot of things.”

Caleb hummed. “These are good points you make, my friend.” He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, then put his spoon next to his empty bowl and rubbed his nascent beard. “It certainly gives me more confidence. Perhaps I will begin looking for jobs instead of waiting and accumulating small certifications. It will give me options, at least.”

Essek was quiet, and with a glance, Caleb could tell he was deep in thought. He took the opportunity to observe Essek gracefully leaning back on the rickety kitchen chair, and to let his eyes follow the trace of a soft frown occupying Essek’s expression. He thought back to their first meeting – well, their second, but he barely recalled the interview – where he had been so easily intimidated by this beautiful drow. Essek had been rather unpleasant and short with him, on that day in the elevator. But the moment they had gotten to know each other, Caleb had discovered this whole other side of him: the earnest and humorous Essek, always eager for knowledge, ever willing to help his friends. He had shown Caleb his sadness, his pain and his insecurity. They had laughed together and spent innumerable hours getting closer. 

Caleb let his eyes fall and rest on Essek’s lips, noting their slight pout of contemplation. After all of this, he thought, it would only be natural for the two of them to get closer. Everyone around them was waiting with bated breath, it seemed, for one of them to confess. Caleb let out a soft breath, his shoulders relaxing, his gaze lost on the smooth edges of Essek’s jaw – he wondered what it would be like to kiss it. A few weeks ago, he would have furiously argued the thought out of his own head. But now, he was very well aware of how powerless he stood in front of the wonder of Essek Thelyss.

This man made him feel… all sorts of things. With him, Caleb found his confidence, buried under several layers of self-deprecation that the man could see right through in a glance of his sharp eye. When they were together, Caleb felt the weight of his past lessen, and found himself looking forward instead of back. He could imagine a future full of Essek. Essek in his kitchen, hair ruffled and eyes bleary as he had once been at work; Essek in his living room, his lithe legs curled in on themselves on the couch, resting his cheek in his hand and skimming through a book; Essek in his bathroom, brushing his teeth over the sink and stopping to examine his hair; Essek on his bed, cozily snuggled in the comforter and scrolling on his phone.

Essek in his bed.

Caleb felt heat rise around his neck and ears as an avalanche of thoughts hit him at once. He inhaled quietly and tore his eyes away, finding great interest in the grain of the wooden table below his hands. 

Of course, he had always known Essek to be incredibly attractive. But he had kept him out of his head, mostly because it felt so unattainable that it was hard for him to find any pleasure in such thoughts. Hadn’t his first thought upon remarking Essek’s beauty been that drow did not find humans attractive?

But then… perhaps they did. Caleb blinked slowly as he remembered that day in the elevator, where his hand had brushed past Essek’s and caused him to fluster. The dynamic between them had been so different back then, and he had written the incident off without much more thought – but nevertheless, was it possible that Essek found Caleb attractive?

He held back a sigh. This was hard. If Essek looked on him so fondly, and enjoyed his company so much, and perhaps even found him to his taste, then what was it that kept holding him back? Every time they got close, it was as though something frigid blew in the air and doused them both with a dose of unwelcome reality. Or perhaps – he grimaced – perhaps he had misread his friend, and Essek was… not interested in men?

He blinked at the absurdity of the hypothesis. Essek was clearly attracted to men, Beauregard had at least made that clear when she teased their friend – but then, that meant there must have been a specific reason for which Essek rejected him. Caleb stared forlornly at his empty bowl. He wished he could know what that reason was.

He frowned as the sound of Jester’s voice came in his head, as he remembered what she had told him: Okay but, like… have you talked with him? With words, you know? Real words, for a real conversation?

They had never discussed it, he realized. All of this time, he had relied on the unspoken and his own interpretation of Essek’s reactions. He let his eyes flutter shut; perhaps it was time they had an earnest conversation.

When he looked up, though, it was to find Essek staring at him with a small smile. “I never knew someone could become red from the top of their ears to the bottom of their collarbone before I met you,” he teased, and if Caleb could have melted into the floor, he would have – but sadly, he remained in place, and had to settle for pulling the neckline of his ratty t-shirt up to cover the top half of his collarbone as Essek continued. “What thoughts could make you grow into such a color?”

Caleb’s mind raced as he tried to remember what they had been talking about before he lost himself to contemplation. He had thought of… the elevator, and – what had they been talking about?

Essek must have seen the growing panic on his face, and his expression seemed to shut down. He continued, but it was no longer in a teasing tone. “Apologies, I will not pry. It was of poor taste.”

Scheisse. Caleb wanted to rap his head on the table. This must have been what Jester had referred to. He needed to… save this. He just did not know how to.

Essek glanced at their bowls and reverted to a more normal tone, if still slightly guarded. “It is late, and I have work in the morning. I should probably make my way home while I am awake enough to do so.” His voice was light once more when he added, with a cursory glance over at the bottle, “I think I need some time out too.”

To that, Caleb could do nothing but bark out a laugh, and he met Essek’s eyes. They exchanged tentative smiles and Caleb thought that perhaps they were getting better at navigating this. The conversation could wait a little longer, surely. He wanted to enjoy Essek’s company on his own birthday.

Essek helped him by putting their dishes in the sink while Caleb put away the rest of the food, and if the domesticity of the scene made his heart clench, he said no word of it. He was sad to see Essek go, but perhaps it was a good idea to think of a plan before bringing the subject up in earnest. And now that it trotted around in his mind, he did not trust himself to avoid the subject entirely while Essek was here.

Caleb felt Essek come up next to him as he ladled the last of the chili into a container, and when he turned, Essek was looking at him with a softness that erred between fondness and… longing, it seemed. He kept a fair distance, though, when he bid him his evening wishes.

“Thank you, Caleb, for having me over tonight.”

Caleb grasped the dishcloth that rested on the countertop and took a risk by stepping closer, carefully examining Essek’s reaction as he did so. “Thank you, Essek, for coming to see me.” 

To his credit and to Caleb’s great disappointment, Essek’s expression became unreadable. Before Caleb could chance anything else, like a hand on his or – God forbid – a kiss, Essek’s smile widened softly, and he inhaled deeply. “I suppose I must go, now that I have announced my departure. And –” he added wistfully, “– I do need the sleep. But it was a pleasure seeing you, Caleb.”

Caleb followed him to the entryway in silence, his mind going through a thousand possibilities of things he could reply yet finding none to his taste. Finally, as Essek kneeled down to tie his winter boots on, Caleb spoke. “Thank you for the gift, Essek. It was…” he paused as Essek met his eyes from under him, and the air suddenly felt very tight and heavy around Caleb. He swallowed hard. “It was beautiful.” You are beautiful. He dragged his mind away from that thought. 

Fortunately, Essek had looked back at his bootlaces a few seconds ago. He finished tying his boots and rose to Caleb’s height again. “Well, I am pleased to know that you liked it. And that you find my stitching impeccable,” he smirked, before leaning in close to Caleb – and Caleb’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest from it until he realized that Essek was merely reaching for his coat.

He cursed himself quietly as Essek put on the rest of his winter garb. Caleb’s mind was out of it as they said goodbye, and he hovered awkwardly, unsure of whether it was wise or not to give his friend a hug. He did his best to hide his distractedness and even did manage a few earnest words of gratitude for Essek’s company – but once his friend was out and the door stood between them, Caleb let out a terrible sigh and let his head fall on the wall next to him. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, holding the air in for four seconds, and let it all out.

Then, he steered himself towards the kitchen, put a lid on the still-warm chili and practically threw it in the fridge before getting himself ready for bed, hoping it would be another while before Veth came home.

Chapter Text

Caleb closed the front door of his apartment and squinted at the bright midday sunlight. He shoved his laptop, which he had grabbed from his desk in a hurry, in his bag before he could slip on the ice and risk having to get a new one. His mind was elsewhere as he walked away, and he only noticed several minutes later that he had forgotten his scarf.

He wanted some time out of the apartment. Veth had sprung some big news on him, and… he needed to process. So he was going to the library to get some more studying in before his exams (officially) and possibly also wallow in self-pity (less officially).

He was not mad. How could he be? No, he was happy for her. It just seemed to be happening so quickly. No, he was not mad, or sad, or anything – he just did not know what to say to her, exactly, and so he… needed a moment to think.

He sighed and flipped the collar of his coat up in a bid to stave off the cold air, quickening his pace so he could get to warmth as fast as possible, and steering his thoughts away from the logistical nightmare that surely awaited him if Veth decided to go ahead with her plan.

Thankfully, the silence of the library had a soothing effect on him, and he soon found a quiet nook to set himself up for some work. As he took off his coat and unpacked his things, his phone buzzed on the table with a message from the group chat.

Jester: <img_436.jpg>

Jester: Guys!!! Look!!!!!! 

Jester: Sprinkle loves her already!!!

Caleb huffed an amused breath and slid his phone open to reveal the image. A very anxious-looking Sprinkle was clutching his claws into the table on which he had most likely been deposited, while a large white dog sniffed curiously at it from the floor. The weasel looked moments away from either having a heart attack or making a run for it.

Yeza: Did you bring Sprinkle over at Yasha’s place? Is that Naya?

As soon as he saw Yeza’s message, Caleb’s mood soured. He typed a quick response into the group chat and shut his phone before dropping down in his chair and taking a deep breath. He was not angry at Yeza. He was not angry at anyone. These were simply things that happened. They liked each other. That was a good thing. Yeza was kind, and both he and Veth deserved good things.

His phone buzzed again, and the annoyed glare he threw in its direction melted when he saw it was a direct message from Jester.

Jester: Caleb, when you say you’re glad I’m having a good day, is it because you’re not having one? Cause you can talk to me about it!!

He sighed and opened the chat again, rereading the message he had initially sent and realizing it was a little rude. He edited it to add an exclamation mark, hoping it would clear off any misconstruction of intent, and replied to Jester.

Caleb: No, no, I am quite alright. I am sorry if my message sounded rude – that was not my intent.

Jester: I wasn’t mad, I was checking up on you! 

Jester: You know you can talk to me if you have any problems. Especially with relationships, or friends, or anything, ok? I’m a great listener.

Jester: You sound so much like Essek. Have you two been spending more time together lately? ;) ;) <3

Caleb frowned. That was another issue he was not aiming to mull over today. Then again, he might as well – it was not as if he was going to get any real work done anyway. Before he could type out an answer, Jester charged in with another message.

Jester: How was your day? What happened to make it not good?

Before Caleb could even debate the wisdom of confiding in Jester, his fingers had begun typing a response of their own accord. He let them; nobody could resist Jester, him least of all.

Caleb: Nothing bad. I was unsettled and decided to take some time away from my apartment. 

Caleb: I am at the library, now.

Jester: Oh! Did you fight with your roommate?

Caleb grimaced; how on earth was Jester always this close to the truth, what with all the wild guessing and drastic extrapolations she operated under?

Caleb: Not a fight. We are good.

He hesitated a bit but decided to give in and explain.

Caleb: She has told me that she is thinking of moving in with her boyfriend.

Jester: Oh yes yes yes! Yeza has been talking about it nonstop! He’s so excited, it’s so cute!

Caleb grimaced. It was cute, or it would be if it were not… so soon.

Caleb: I am sure. But don’t you think that they are moving a bit quickly?

Jester: Not everyone has the same kind of patience as you and Essek, Caleb. Sometimes, things just move on naturally! I mean, Beau’s been spending all her time at Yasha’s. And Yeza keeps talking about how much Luc loves Veth. They’re all grownups, right? If anything happens, they can take care of themselves!

Caleb inhaled. He still thought Veth might be rushing into this, but Jester’s answer gave him pause. He had found it difficult when Veth thought she knew better and kept giving him advice on how to run his life – even when she had been right in the end. 

Jester: And it’s not like they’re gonna move in, like, right now. Yeza was talking about leasing a house for a few years before they made anything permanent.

Caleb: No, it’s true. She was not talking about ceding her part of the lease or anything. It is just a project for now, an idea.

Jester: There you go! So she still has several months to make her decision, yeah? When does your lease end?

Caleb: We just renewed it.

Jester: Ok! That gives you plenty of time figuring out what you’ll do!

Caleb: If she decides to go ahead with that.

Jester: Sry, sprimkle is climbinh th ecurtins

Caleb squinted at the text and smiled when he deciphered its meaning. Jester was good to be texting him like this, even while her charge was probably tearing Yasha’s curtains into shreds.  

Surprisingly – or not surprisingly at all; this was, after all, Jester – she sent another message a moment later. 

Jester: Ok, Yasha put Naya in her crate and Sprinkle is back with me. He got spooked!! But he’s okay now!

Jester: Maybe you could move in with Essek!!

Caleb blinked at the unexpected change of subject, but recovered quickly, having gotten used to Jester’s bouncing mind. 

Caleb: And what makes you think that Essek would want me living with him?

Jester: Oh come on, Caleb. He’s like super in love with you.

Caleb inhaled deeply and looked out the window, welcoming warm rays of sun on his skin. Was he really going to talk to Jester about this? Was he going to let himself believe that there might be a chance that Essek might hold the same kind of affection for him? Was he going to admit to his own feelings? He typed out a response, re-read it twice, and sent it.

Caleb: I wish I could believe that, Jester. But so far, he has only seemed uncomfortable with the prospect.

Jester: But he loves you! It’s so clear. He’s just bad at saying things, you know?

Jester: Wait, what was the stuff he was uncomfortable about?

Jester: Because Beau thinks he was like, super scared to put you in an uncomfortable position. Because he was kinda-sorta your boss at one point, you know? But that’s not a problem anymore, right? 

Caleb frowned and leaned back in shock. He stood there gaping for several seconds, then shook his head in disbelief. Was that something that Essek had worried about? Something clenched in his chest. 

It had never occurred to him. He shut his eyes, placed his forehead in his hands and rubbed his palms on his eyelids. Then again, he had not had the best role models before, had he not? His experience at Cerberus had revealed his old mentor’s penchant for crossing workplace boundaries and blatant disregard for ethics. The fact that Essek had wanted to avoid putting them both in a difficult situation, potentially setting aside his own feelings in the process… it made Caleb's heart ache. A year ago, Caleb would have thought it inconceivable, but now he knew Essek well enough to believe it of him. Caleb had crossed paths with too many poor examples of figures of authority to take Essek’s respect for granted, and it made his appreciation for his friend grow.

He realized a minute later that Jester had kept messaging him.

Jester: She told me though!

Jester: I promise I didn’t talk to her about it. I kept my promise. She doesn’t know about the time I saw you two in his office!!!

Jester: Caleb, please don’t be mad

Jester: I just want you to be in love and feel butterflies in your stomach and kiss Essek under an umbrella and be happy

Jester: I promise I won’t tease you about it

Jester: Well actually I can’t promise that

Jester: But I SUPER PROMISE that I didn’t gossip to Beau about it. She gossiped about it, AT me

Jester: And I replied with like, other examples, but I promise I didn’t say anything about that specific moment 

Caleb put her out of her misery.

Caleb: I am not mad, Jester. Simply contemplating.

Jester: Oh okay good good!!! 

Jester: Wait. You’re like, good-contemplating. Right?

Caleb: What would that entail?

Jester: Like, contemplating confessing your undying love for him?

Caleb: Well, no, not quite. 

He pursed his lips and added a little more to his sentence, if only to make Jester happy. 

Caleb: Though you make a solid argument, as always.

Jester: Ok what else do you need for me to convince you? I can tell you anything you want. Beau told me some stuff

Caleb frowned. This was not how he wanted to learn about Essek’s deepest secrets.

Caleb: No, no need. I just need to think about it.

Jester: Think out loud, Caleb. It helps.

Caleb: I cannot, I am at the library. 

Jester: I meant here, silly. Tell me what’s on your mind.

Caleb let out an amused huff. So he was getting a therapy session from Jester, it seemed. He only hoped that Yasha did not mind her guest’s attention being taken away for so long. On a second thought, he remembered Yasha’s placid demeanor and decided he probably did not need to worry about it. Instead, he gathered his thoughts and figured out the best way to explain his conundrum to his friend.

Caleb: I understand that Essek would not have wanted to broadcast his feelings for me – if there were any – when we were working together, and he did the right thing. But even now, he seems withdrawn.

Caleb: Compared to before, at least. Which is somewhat counterintuitive, isn’t it? Of course, we have been exchanging messages, and he visited me for my birthday, which was a pleasant experience. But overall, we are less close than we used to be, and I do miss that.

Caleb: I can sense some fondness coming from him… unless I am mistaken. But I am under the impression that he is trying to avoid closeness, and I am getting mixed responses from him.

Jester: Maybe he’s scared you don’t feel the same way?

Caleb grimaced in disbelief. 

Caleb: I thought I had been obvious enough for everyone else to figure it out already. Why would Essek be worried at all?

Jester: I don’t think he knows.

Jester: He’s kinda clueless – like you.

Jester: Here – hold on, I have an idea!!!!

Jester: I just have to find ittttt

Caleb waited with a mixture of anticipation and dread, unsure what tricks she had up her sleeve today. He kept his phone open, which meant he saw the image as soon as she sent it.

It was a picture of his old office, the one he used to share with Yeza. It looked as warm and inviting as it had before everything had gone wrong at Kryn & Kryn, back when Essek was there, and Yeza had begun working with them, and everything seemed possible; the late-afternoon sun made it look like it was the end of the day, and the window was open wide. In the center of the room, sat criss-cross on the floor, were Yeza and Caleb, sorting through boxes of cables. They both looked intent on their task, and perhaps a little tired too – but the good kind. The hint of a smile was lingering on then-Caleb’s lips. 

Behind them was a wheeled office chair, and on it sat Essek with a box of computer mice in his lap. He looked good; his hair was slightly shorter then, and Caleb knew he had often wished he could rub his fingers on the shorn nape of Essek’s neck. It was the look on Essek’s face that drew Caleb’s attention, though. 

The word fond seemed insufficient to describe the drow’s expression then. His gaze was of rapt attention – but softened by a special kind of knowing affection that Caleb had only spied on his friend a few times. The edges of his dark lips were quirked into a tender smile, barely perceptible, as if it was never meant to be seen. The scene felt so intimate, and Caleb almost looked away for fear of intruding on a special moment. But his eyes remained fixed on then-Essek and his peaceful beauty. He followed his friend’s gaze, wondering at the source of such devotion.

But Essek was looking directly down at Caleb.

Caleb let out a shaky breath as he felt his heartbeat pick up in speed. He could hardly argue against the image. He remembered being there. He also remembered being completely oblivious to his own feelings.

Was this how Essek looked at him when his attention was elsewhere?

Jester: See? He loves youuuuu

Jester: He LOVES you, Caleb.

Jester: He’s just scared. But he’s like, pining so hard.

Jester: And that’s another thing you two have in common, you know? On top of liking books and science and stuff. 

Jester: Gosh, you’d make such a good couple. 

Jester: I never want to push people together if they don’t want to be together, right? But you two WANT to be together, it’s super clear. 

Jester: And sometimes you just need a little kick in the butt, right? Cause you like to be dramatic and stuff

That pulled Caleb from his reverie. He was not – not – dramatic, now, he just… Ach. Caleb sighed and pushed his hair away from his face.

Caleb: Thank you for this photo, Jester. It is beautiful, and you are an excellent photographer. May I save it for myself?

Jester: Yeah of course! I took it for you! But then I forgot I had it

Jester: What are you gonna do now?

Caleb bit the inside of his cheek. He was not going to do anything rash.

Caleb: I will think about it. But you make good arguments, Jester.

A worry struck him, and he typed his next message faster.

Caleb: This conversation stays between us, yes?

Jester: Of course!!!

Jester: Ok, ok, but like – you’re really gonna think about it seriously, okay? Just, because we all want you to be happy and I don’t want you to wait too long for that

He relaxed. This was as good as he would get from Jester – and after all, it seemed like she had kept her promise.

Caleb: Yes, Jester. This is a big thing for me, and so I need some time to mull things over.

Jester: Ok, yeah, I understand. Keep me updated?

Caleb smiled.

Caleb: If I talk to him about it, you will be the first to know.

Jester was right – he did feel a little better after talking to her. Perhaps he would keep that in mind for next time.

“Ooh, look at that. It’s fancy,” Veth commented excitedly from behind the kitchen table before putting down a steaming mug next to Caleb. She bumped his side with her hip and stepped closer, and he leaned back so that she could see what he was doing. It was nothing big, really – he was simply adding his newly-acquired certification to his LinkedIn profile. Veth let out an appreciative hum and scrolled up his profile, nodding slowly as she perused his description. “This is very ‘you’, Lebby.”

Caleb grimaced. “Is it not professional enough?”

Veth leaned back, surprised. “No, not at all. It’s very good. I just think it describes you well. ‘versatile’, ‘adaptive’, those are usually just buzzwords – but for you, they absolutely fit.”

Caleb tucked away a strand of hair that tickled his eyes. “I do not want it to be too corporate, but…”

Veth patted his shoulder. “There’s some amount of decorum that you just gotta respect if you want a white-collar job, Lebby. This is fine. And I love that little badge!” she added, gesturing at the proof of certification.

Caleb gave her an unconvinced smile, and she pushed the mug towards him before making her way to the living room, most likely to text Yeza. He was not too insecure about the elements he did have on his profile; it was the lack of experience and formal education that made him self-conscious. How was he to get a job without prior experience – and yet, how was he to get experience without a job? He was unsure how people began working in this field. Perhaps Essek could help him on that – but then, Essek had never doubted his ability to get a job.

He supposed they’d have to see. Veth had convinced him to take a week off after earning his certification, but after that, he would need to begin applying for jobs and looking into continuing education. Caleb supposed he would not mind working as an assistant again in the meantime, as long as it was adjacent enough that he would get some kind of relevant experience for future jobs. 

He inhaled deeply, closed his eyes, and shut his laptop screen. Taking the warm mug in his hands, he brought it closer to his lips and blew. The steam curled in pale tendrils away from his mouth, proof that they were still deep in the clutches of winter. Caleb wondered where he would find himself in his life once spring came along.

The following week, he forced himself to rest, go outside, spend some time at the library, go on walks, and even visit the museum once. Caleb wished this time off had coincided with Essek’s, but his friend had only managed to join him for an afternoon downtown. It seemed a busy time of the year at Luxon Ltd., with their first major release of the year on its way. Essek was swamped and tired, but excited. He talked animatedly about all of the things he would work on in the upcoming month, about a few improvements he had suggested his team take on, and about workplace politics – which, whilst different from Kryn & Kryn’s small-scale squabbling, were nonetheless fascinating and exasperating at times. It seemed that Essek was finding his place in this new work environment, and though Caleb envied him slightly, he was pleased to find that he was beginning to know Essek’s colleagues by name, position and main pet peeves. Sometimes, it felt as though he was living vicariously – but then, he reminded himself that he would soon be beginning his own job search and would eventually have colleagues of his own to rant about. And perhaps, should he be lucky, some to get along with.

He did take some time to work on his CV during that week and ended up quite satisfied with the result. Essek had both advised him and reviewed several versions of it, and he had provided valuable help for the writing of his cover letter. Caleb had been thankful, of course, just as much for the help as for the occasion to discuss. 

Essek had offered to send his CV and cover letter out to a few contacts – This is how you land a good job in this field, Caleb. It is far from favoritism and nepotism, but merely passing through the right channels, he had reassured Caleb. He had seemed very pleased when Caleb had agreed to it, and Caleb figured that his friend might simply be happy to help him begin his career, a little like a scientist whose pet project is reaching a new stage.

That was, of course, until he received an email from Luxon Ltd., on one bright Wednesday morning. Eyes still bleary from the night, he blinked and opened the message, wondering when he had signed up for their newsletter. He came to the conclusion that Essek must have had something to do with it when his eyes finally focused and he actually read the message.

To: Caleb Widogast, PSPO

From: Underthorn, Dagen

5th of Dualahei

Dear Mr. Widogast,

I hope this email finds you well. Attached, you will find an invitation to a preliminary interview to work with one of our teams at Luxon Ltd as an associate process manager. The invite contains information on our recruitment process and on our corporate culture, and you can find more information on the position by visiting luxonltd.dyn/careers/p26204/eng . 

Please message me with your availability in the upcoming week.

Looking forward to meeting you,

Dagen Underthorn

Human Resources manager, Luxon Ltd.

Caleb felt his eyes widen and his jaw drop as he read on, and when he reached the end of the email, he sat there staring at the screen in disbelief for several minutes. It was the sound of Veth stirring in the other room that brought him back to earth; he realized his mouth was dry and managed to haul himself up and pour water into a glass. There beside the sink, he paused and looked at his faint reflection in the window. 

Did I really just score an interview?

“A preliminary interview,” he corrected himself out loud, and took a pensive sip from his glass. Essek. Essek must have had something to do with it.

He walked back to the table, set the glass down and grabbed his phone, sending a quick message to Essek.

Caleb: Did you send my CV to a Dagen Underthorn?

He leaned in his chair and tapped his fingers on the table, waiting for a reply. He was wide awake now. When it did not come soon enough, he decided to open the attachment and sift through the company’s information. He frowned in concentration as he read through the job offer, and took good note of the three-part interview process. Finally, his phone buzzed with Essek’s reply.

Essek: What did he send you?

Caleb smiled wide and felt the excitement in his chest as he typed a response.

Caleb: I am invited to a preliminary interview sometime this week.

Essek: As associate process manager?

Caleb: Yes.

Caleb: Did you recommend me?

Essek: Of course.

A beam of warmth ran through Caleb’s limbs from his heart.

Essek: Very highly.

Essek: You might work with my team. It depends on where they decide to place you – but it would make sense, with your background in medicine. 

Caleb: He did write “to work with one of our teams”, so it seems he already has a team in mind.

Essek: Then I am pretty certain it is mine. 

Essek: I am pleased that they decided to contact you. I was beginning to think that you would find a job elsewhere before they got their act together.

Caleb huffed a laugh.

Caleb: Is recruiting juniors that hard?

Essek: Good ones? Yes. And I just thought that your profile suited the team’s dynamic and needs so well. 

Essek: I think you will like my colleagues.

Caleb: The ones you complain about all the time?

Essek: I complain about everyone all the time, Caleb. 

Caleb: Even about me?

Caleb hummed disapprovingly at his message, wondering if it might be taken as a needy bid for reassurance. Essek took his time to answer, this time.

Essek: No, you are something special.

Chapter Text

Nerves knotted in Caleb’s stomach as he stepped through the large office tower’s door for the third time in three weeks. The place was bustling with people and the coffee shop on the ground floor had a lineup that almost stretched all the way to the entrance of the building’s franchised gym. It was, he remarked, much busier in the morning rush hour than during the middle of the day, when people were probably busying themselves in their own offices.

He was thankful for having decided to linger, last time he was here, and explore the building’s layout a little bit; thanks to his foresight, he now had a good sense of where to go and how to operate the large central elevators. He had also noted the location of the nearest emergency exits in case he ever needed a moment to breathe.

However, he found that the nerves in his stomach – though blood-pumping and heart-clenching – were not exactly a bad feeling this time. The panic was kept at bay, and he suspected it was mostly thanks to his genuine excitement. Trust, too, perhaps; if not necessarily in his new employer, then in the future and what good things it held for him. 

Today, he was beginning his first week at Luxon Ltd. 

Stepping into an elevator on his right, he pressed the button for floor 12 and waited for the doors to close. The building itself was much larger than the one in which Kryn & Kryn were installed, and everything was scaled up. Elevators, which were a private, clunky little thing at the lawyer firm, could now welcome several people – and thus Caleb could people-watch as the elevator dropped the other passengers to their respective floors. 

He also noted the wide variety of races around him, which seemed more diverse than in the rest of the city – and certainly more so than his old job, which had hired mostly drow. An impressive, feathered humanoid had his raptor eyes trained on a much smaller kind of birdfolk, passerine-like in similarity, as they were talking excitedly and waving talon-like hands around. Caleb did not understand their language, but then the raptor emitted a chuckled whistle and nodded wisely. 

The elevator ding ed and a mumbled “Sorry,” came from behind Caleb. He stepped aside and let a strongly built Tabaxi pass by him, claimed by the eighth floor. Their gait was proud, and the color of the beaded sash resting on their hips showed nothing if not great care put into their appearance and pride for their culture. Other people filtered out as they went up, and when they finally reached his floor, two other people exited before him, holding an animated conversation that drew Caleb’s attention as he followed a few steps behind them.

A small goblin with long, expressive ears listened intently as a dark-skinned human man in a purple silk dress shirt explained something, gesturing emphatically.

“You see – I guess if I had one request, and this goes not just to you… this whole back and forth with the University is making it very difficult for me to finish my work, what with all the ‘constantly changing their mind’ business. Do you think you can put in a word with them so that we have just the one main contact for this new project? Please?” The man put his hand on the goblin’s shoulder, and the smaller person’s face was unreadable. “I just want the preliminary wireframes out as soon as possible. Then we can get some sort of team-wide understanding and work on new iterations from there. It’s just hard to iterate on nothing, you know?” 

The goblin’s ear flicked, and they continued walking. “You know that asking DevOps won’t do a thing, Gilmore. Besides, if they are changing their mind, it is best they do so at the beginning of the project, yes?”

The taller man spun around until he was standing in front of the goblin, stopping him from moving any further. “Uraya, I know you get to speak to the U of R’s IT director about release plans. I suspect he’s the one switching orientations at the drop of a hat. Just let them know to contact me directly when they’re thinking of switching up the whole interface, yes? You can do that for me?” 

The goblin sighed and rolled their eyes. The man in purple – Gilmore, whose name Caleb remembered from Essek’s workplace rants – was about to let them go and resume walking when he caught sight of Caleb following behind them. He smiled wolfishly and held the door open for him, but when Caleb went to step in, he remained in the way. 

“Terribly sorry, my good fellow, but I don’t believe I have seen you around these parts. This is restricted access only, unless you have a keycard.”

Caleb flushed. “Ah, I, uh, I am meeting with Dagen Underthorn. This is my first day.” He composed himself and gave a friendly smile, then offered a hand. “Caleb Widogast.” 

Gilmore’s grin got even wider as he moved aside to let Caleb in. He gestured in the opposite direction, towards another door with what seemed like a reception area. “Normally, I’d direct you over to the main entrance –” He slung a hand over Caleb’s shoulder and guided him in another direction. “– but since you’ll be working with us,” he threw a look towards Uraya, “surely you will let me show you around, yes?”

Caleb opened his mouth to agree, but Uraya spoke first. “Gilmore,” they grounded – but their voice was light, “I believe that’s precisely what Dagen is meant to do.”

Gilmore spun and batted the argument away with a flourish of his hand. “Then at least let me bring you to our friendly HR office, will you?”

Caleb huffed a laugh – the ease with which those two interacted was contagious. He shrugged good-naturedly. “I do not think I could navigate these parts without your help, Mister Gilmore. If you will help me find my way to HR, I will be thankful to you both.”

“Please,” Gilmore argued. “It’s Shaun to my friends. Uraya simply enjoys formality, much like some of our other colleagues.” 

Uraya butted in: “Or perhaps you’re the one who enjoys familiarity.”

Gilmore patted Caleb on the back where his hand already lingered. “Truer words have never been spoken. Why don’t you have lunch with us today? My treat.”

Caleb wondered at the warmth of his welcome and threw a glance in Uraya’s direction to make sure he was not ruining any plans, but instead, he found a subtle yet kind smile dancing on their lips. “It would be our pleasure to get to know you, Widogast.”

Caleb hoped his smile conveyed his gratitude. “Then I will be much obliged.”

The goblin inclined their head slightly. “Uraya Hythenos. I work closely with DevOps. Gilmore is our resident UI expert, but like everyone else, we share these responsibilities along with the rest of the team.”

Caleb nodded and followed them along a maze of corridors. They came to the HR office and realized that Dagen Underthorn was not there. Gilmore muttered something under his breath and rolled his eyes. “He’s probably checking in with the front desk,” he explained. They parted with Uraya and strode towards the other entrance, and Caleb thanked his lucky stars for his excellent sense of direction as they weaved through working offices, kitchenette, cubicles and meeting rooms. Finally, they heard a familiar grumble in the distance.

“Just call me if he shows up, okay, Calianna?” 

A softer voice responded. “I’m sure he will, Dagen. He might have gotten turned around.”

“I know, yeah,” Dagen’s voice echoed closer. They turned the corner and he was there, expertly maneuvering his sturdy wheelchair through the corridor. He stopped and narrowed his eyes at the sight of Caleb and Gilmore.

“Gilmore, what have you done with my new employee,” he accused.

Gilmore patted Caleb on the back. “If he’s late, it’s on me. Just showing him around a bit. No harm done,” he smiled charmingly, but Dagen had none of it. 

“Leave that to me in the future,” he grumbled.

“I was bringing him to you !” Gilmore responded defensively, then sighed and turned to Caleb, feigning to ignore Dagen. “Don’t worry. His bark is worse than his bite. And if he works you hard all morning and we don’t get to talk before noon, then meet us at the front desk around that time and we’ll set out together, alright?” He gave Caleb another pat, winked at Dagen (who huffed) and strode away gracefully.

“Yeah, well,” Dagen rolled by Caleb and gave him a gruff nod. “I can bite if needed. Mind that. But –” under his beard, he smiled at Caleb. “Not unprovoked.”

Caleb returned his smile and followed Dagen into his office, where his contract was signed, and details of his benefits were hashed out. He asked a few questions that Dagen was happy to answer, and soon enough, they emerged again so that Dagen may ‘give him the tour’. 

He was led around different departments, nodding his greetings to the people Dagen presented him with and taking in their names, positions and general attitude. To his satisfaction, Essek was right; it seemed as though such a cutting-edge technology business needed every bit of talent they could get, and that meant that he encountered more than a few humanoids, goblinoids, birdfolk and the like. After a while, even Caleb’s brain was struggling to take everything in, overwhelmed by new thoughts and sounds.

One thought nagged at the back of his mind, though – and it cropped up every time he spied a flash of purple skin across the hall. Essek had offered to accompany him on his first day, but he had ended up needing to come in earlier. Of course, Caleb had assured him that he would be alright, but he still longed to see his friend again; perhaps he would encounter him around the bend of a corner, staring intently at some data on a screen, with that lovely, focused expression that he got when he was finding a creative solution to some complex problem. Perhaps Caleb’s heart would melt with pleasure when their eyes met. Perhaps it would also beat a little faster. And perhaps, this time, he was looking forward to it.

Surely enough, Dagen slowed down next to an open area where eight workstations were clumped together. They were isolated by low partitions, on which he could spy pictures and notes that had been pinned. One side of the room was occupied by a large window, and on its sill, several small plants stretching their long, pointed leaves in graceful arcs. The other two sides held large dry-erase boards, on which lines had been drawn and countless post-it notes had been stuck in a very specific order Caleb recognized from one of the software development frameworks he had studied. 

“Caleb! What a pleasure,” Gilmore stood out of his seat before Dagen could introduce him to anyone. All of the other people’s faces turned towards him, not unkindly. He recognized Uraya sitting on a tall seat at one of the desks near the window. The goblin nodded at him, but as Caleb returned his salutation, his eyes were drawn to the desk next to Gilmore’s. There, Essek emerged from behind the partition and stared eagerly – not unlike a prairie dog, Caleb thought, and it amused him. 

“Everyone, this is Caleb Widogast, associate process manager. Caleb, this is your team,” Dagen began the introductions.

A woman in a blue dress rose from one of the desks closest to the windows and walked over to him, offering a hand. “Caleb, it’s a pleasure. Dagen has told me a lot about you. I am Allura.”

“You’re gonna be working a lot with her,” Dagen added. “Shame she couldn’t be there for your interviews. I think the hiring process would have gone even quicker if she had,” he chuckled. “You’ll be her junior.”

Allura smiled gracefully at Dagen, and the sunlight reflecting in her golden hair made her look like a celestial being. She turned to Caleb and explained: “I am currently working on two teams – this one is newly formed, and they don’t have a process manager yet, so I am taking care of that aspect for now, communicating with stakeholders and helping the team plan releases. I’m looking forward to your help.”

Now, all of the team members were up and waiting to greet him. Dagen waved dismissively towards Gilmore. “Him, you already know. No need to let his head get any bigger.”

Gilmore feigned offense, but Caleb suspected it was all in good fun. A quick glance around his cubicle revealed that the walls were covered in pictures of him with seven friends, happily enjoying some kind of drink or smiling in front of what seemed like an elaborate tabletop game. One figure especially featured in more than half of the pictures: a half-elven young man with dark, beaded hair. Gilmore seemed to have a happy life outside of his work, too.

So taken was he in his analysis of Gilmore’s character, Caleb barely saw the short woman who approached him until she spoke. “Hey, I’m Kaylie. I’m new too, though not quite as new as Thelyss. If you’re any close to as good as Allura, I’m sure we’ll get along.”

Uraya spoke then. “An associate is there to learn as well as provide help, though, and we will support you in your learning process. If you have questions or encounter difficulties, I will tell you the same thing I tell everyone in this team: never hesitate to ask.” 

Caleb smiled at Uraya as Dagen piped up from behind, presenting Uraya and Kaylie. Two more men rose and approached; one was tan-skinned and solemn, his golden earrings and eyeshadow highlighting his graceful features. The other flashed him a charming half-grin and held a dark, firm hand forward. “Hi Caleb, I’m Jarett. I work on client relations, and I help the team get along. If you’re not sure who to ask about something, I’m a good starting point.”

Caleb shook Jarett’s hand and returned his warm smile. “A pleasure to meet you,” he managed to utter, and focused his attention on the last unfamiliar member of the team. 

“Yussa Erennis. I’m trained in Quality, mostly, but like everyone in this team, I do a bit of everything. It will be a pleasure to get to know you, Widogast.”

Caleb nodded respectfully and surveyed his new colleagues with great satisfaction. This seemed like a fine collection of people, but they also looked like they got along well. He was thrilled to be joining them.

“And this is your newest colleague, Essek Thelyss,” Jarett added with a pointed glance towards the silent drow at the back of the room, who was still looking somewhat unsure of how to act.

Caleb took his cue and smiled formally. “A pleasure to meet you, Essek.”

“And you,” Essek added, finally recovering his composure. “It will be a pleasure to work together.”

Caleb nodded in polite agreement, and, unsure what to do, turned his gaze towards Gilmore. The man was frowning, curiously glancing between Essek and Caleb. He remained quiet, though, and Dagen piped up.

“Well, that concludes my tour. You’ve got your passwords and intro sheets; come see me if there’s anything, or like Jarett said, ask him. I’ll leave you in Allura’s care for the rest of the day.” He gave Caleb a gruff nod and wheeled away.

“Come, Caleb. You can drop your things at this desk,” Allura gestured towards the desk opposite hers. “I want to discuss some things with you.”

Caleb did as he was asked and followed her into the kitchenette, where she poured them each a cup of coffee and invited him to settle down. “I want to get to know you a bit before we get to the technical aspects of our work,” she explained warmly.

He told her about his job history a bit, and how he had gotten interested in the field. She mirrored his openness and talked about her own career path, explaining that if everything went well, they were hoping he would take her place as process managerfor the team. They exchanged  until noon, at which point Gilmore peeked through the door, Uraya, Jarett and even Yussa in tow. “Allura, we’re going over at the Alcove with Caleb. Wanna come?”

“Yes – just let me get my things. Where are Kaylie and Essek?”

Gilmore frowned, looking disappointed. “They couldn’t make it. Training with Sa Ord. They ate earlier.”

Allura nodded. “Another time, then. You’ll get to know them soon enough,” she added for Caleb’s benefit.

They all went out together, emerging out of the office tower into the piercing sun of early spring, and Caleb tied Essek’s silken scarf to his neck for courage, as he was slightly worried about socializing with these new people. As it were, it was unneeded; the team seemed almost too happy to include him in conversation, curious about him without pushing any boundaries, and giving him insight into how they operated together, both as colleagues and as friends. 

Caleb did manage to sneak a glance at his phone though, a little while later. He had received a few messages while he was talking with Allura, and they were from Essek.

Essek: I was happy to see you this morning. You will fit right in.

Essek: Take the time to get your footing. Our colleagues are friendly and helpful, and they will keep you busy.

Essek: I will be there for lunch tomorrow, if you wish. It is likely we will go together again, with Kaylie and I this time.

Essek: And I will be happy to give you a lift home tonight, if you wish.

Caleb stole a moment to welcome the surge of warmth that spread through his limbs, and he knew it was not because of the cool midday sun. 

Caleb: I am looking forward to it, Essek.

He made no effort to hide his grin.

Essek watched as Caleb was welcomed by his colleagues and noted how everyone seemed to take to him almost immediately. He smiled to himself through the rest of the day, knowing that Caleb was in the right place. He would settle in easily and benefit greatly from Allura’s expertise and Jarett’s friendly advice. The concern he had felt when he had realized that Gilmore had immediately taken Caleb under his wing melted away when Gilmore had texted him. 

Gilmore: You know him. I can tell

Gilmore: And I can also tell that you are quite taken with him.

Gilmore: I am happy for you two.

He had struggled to find an appropriate answer for such a statement, so the messages had remained unanswered, but before he left for his meeting with J’mon Sa Ord, he passed by Gilmore and gave him a grateful smile.

Of course, he and Caleb were not together in the sense that Gilmore might have meant; but it was alright with Essek. To be honest, he was simply… thrilled to be close to his friend once more. It seemed that their conversation from several weeks ago had clarified where they both stood, and Caleb was now comfortable with him again. He had wanted to let Caleb know for some time that he had never hoped for his feelings to be returned, and that he was perfectly happy being friends. Somehow, it had been less difficult than he had dreaded, when the alternative was losing him altogether.

Since their desks were on opposite sides of the room and he was gone for half of the afternoon, Essek hardly saw Caleb that day, but he heard him talk with Allura. He had the hardest time maintaining focus on his work, when every now and then, he could hear Caleb piping up and asking questions to Allura, showcasing his intelligence and sharp wit without even trying to. Therefore, he was practically keeling over with excitement when the end of the day came and their colleagues began leaving. He would have Caleb to himself, and he could hear all about his impressions, and share thoughts on his new workplace. And perhaps, if he were feeling adventurous, he would take Caleb to supper at the Nestled Nook – they could celebrate his first day there together, for old time’s sake. He sighed at his computer monitor, eyes soft. He really was a sentimental fool.

His phone buzzed and he practically jumped out of his skin. 

Caleb: Shall we meet outside?

He did not want Caleb to think he was avoiding him at work – but perhaps it was best if he made sure to let Caleb decide how much of their friendship he was willing to show his new colleagues.

Essek: I will wait for you downstairs.

He read over his reply, but realized that written words on a phone could never convey everything he wished they would. He pocketed his phone and rose from his chair. Yussa and Gilmore were the only ones left, and they were quietly discussing something, Gilmore pointing at his monitor and Yussa frowning in focus. 

“Gentlemen, I will see you tomorrow,” he announced and locked his display, making sure what little work he had managed today had been saved. 

“See you, Thelyss!” Gilmore called, then promptly returned to his explanation, and Yussa nodded at him and did the same.

He smiled at Caleb and went to grab his coat, and in a few minutes, he was out, and in the elevator, his heart beating furiously. It felt like too long since he had seen his friend and spent quality time with him.

Caleb wasted no time in joining him downstairs, and they simply grinned at each other. Relief washed over Essek when he realized that Caleb had had a good day. Perhaps he would be happy here, and Essek could enjoy his presence every day again. 

“Shall we?” Essek finally managed, and they set out into the cool evening air. They walked in silence for a little while, and Essek would have been worried about what Caleb thought of that if they did not both occasionally glance at each other, catch each other’s eye, and grin even wider. By the time they reached the street where he had parked his car, they had barely spoken, but Essek’s cheeks were beginning to hurt. 

“So, how was your first day?” he let out, and with anyone else, he might have wished that his voice had not sounded quite as giddy; but this was Caleb, the one person he was comfortable exhibiting this level of vulnerability with, and he was happy – Light above, he was so happy . 

Caleb turned towards him and the sun caught in his copper hair, framing his face like a crown of fire. “It was great. I like our team a lot - it was nice to put faces to the names you have been telling me about these past few weeks. And I am learning so much already.” 

Essek looked down to keep his heart from exploding; it was just as well, because they had passed by his car without him even noticing. 

“Ah – look at me. I am distracted,” he apologized, then pointed towards the vehicle. “Here is our ride.”

Caleb blinked slowly towards him and followed as they traced back their steps. “I would not have expected you to park your car outside in this weather.”

Essek chuckled. “Well, no. Given the choice, it would be inside a garage. But parking is quite a bit more expensive in this area, and so this will have to do.”

Caleb hummed in understanding and made for the co-pilot’s seat. Essek slid in and turned to help his friend; as predicted, Caleb fiddled unsuccessfully with the receded door handle. Essek bent over and let him inside, trying not to think about how much he loved the man.

“Perhaps one day I will remember how it works, ja? ” Caleb shook his head at himself and chuckled, and Essek joined in.

“I hope you never do,” he teased, and suddenly he was very aware that Caleb was in his car. He kept himself from leaning away, instead relishing the proximity as Caleb did the same. 

“Essek,” Caleb began, and Essek’s heart did a somersault in his chest from hearing his name spoken so fondly. He needed to interrupt that train of thought before he messed things up again.

“Caleb – I could, ah, would you like to get dinner together tonight? We could go to the Nestled Nook, if you wanted…” The words tumbled out of his mouth, and in the moment he spoke them aloud, he realized his mistake and leaned back. “Ah, never mind. I had forgotten they were closed on Mondays.”

At that moment, Caleb reached between them and took his hand. “ Essek ,” he insisted. They were both quiet for a moment, and anticipation stirred in his stomach – but Caleb seemed like he was merely searching for the right words.

“ Thank you , Essek. For everything that you have done for me, and everything that you continue to do.” Caleb brought his other hand on top of his, encasing his dark skin in warmth. “You are…” Caleb hesitated, searching Essek’s eyes for something – but Essek was unsure what it might be.

“I am glad to be your friend, Caleb,” Essek responded instead, returning Caleb’s affection in the only way he knew would be welcome.

Caleb sighed, then, a tiny, wistful thing. “Essek, I –” he looked down and swallowed, Adam’s apple bobbing with the constricting motion. “You…” He tried once more but stopped and gave a chuckle that sounded a little wet. He shook his head at himself and let his grasp on Essek’s hand soften.

Essek instinctively clutched Caleb’s hands back with his encased hand, refusing to let go of the physical contact. It earned him another intense look, and Caleb seemed to find the courage he needed to speak once more. Whatever it might have been, Essek was ready to hear it. 

“Essek,” Caleb began for a third time, gaze more peaceful than Essek had seen it be for a long time. His eyes bore into Essek’s as though the rest of the world was a desert, and Essek was the oasis.

Then, Caleb brought Essek’s hand up, and with slow, careful intention, let his thumbs slide away to reveal the dark skin of Essek’s hand. 

“Caleb,” Essek whispered, and the world stopped revolving around them, everything becoming silent but their breath.

Then, Caleb leaned in, and with immense delicateness, let his lips rest on Essek’s knuckles.  

Essek’s breath hitched, and his world spun again, throwing him into the violent waves of a sea of emotions, incomprehension, and desire. Caleb, whose eyes had been trained on him up until this very moment, shut them forcibly and pressed his lips harder on Essek’s skin, clutching his hand as though it was the dearest thing to him in the entire world. The pressure somehow brought Essek back into his body and into the present moment, and he realized he had been staring at Caleb, eyes wide and lips parted in shock.

His hand was immediately on Caleb’s cheek, cold fingers against warm, speckled skin. He cupped Caleb’s jaw. With one desperate movement, Essek brought Caleb’s face up, away from his hand, and close, so incredibly close to his own face, to his own lips. There, his movement stopped, and he breathed into Caleb’s soft exhale. 

Caleb’s eyes fluttered open, pale blue gaze hopeful and sincere.

“Essek,” Caleb’s voice was reverential. “Essek, Essek.” His eyes darted to Essek’s lips, and Essek suddenly wondered if they were sharing thoughts as well as air. But Caleb did not move closer.

His pink tongue darted across his lips instead, and his mouth fell ever so slightly open. He breathed a trembling exhale and brought his eyes back up to meet Essek’s. They were shining with so much that remained unsaid between them. 

One of Caleb’s hands left their grip to tangle itself in the back of Essek’s short hair, drawing a shuddering breath from him. 

Essek could not help the whine that escaped him. “Caleb,” he near-whispered, and suddenly, all of the words they had spoken to each other made a different kind of sense to Essek’s ears. Those smiles that Caleb had given him, with that same mouth that now rested a mere breath away from his. Those stares that they had exchanged late into the night, vibrant blue brimming with fondness. They all made sense.

“Essek,” Caleb said for the last time, and he pulled and brought their foreheads together. “I am going to kiss you now.”

The world ended at the precise moment where Caleb’s choked words reached Essek’s ears. He could only nod mutely.

Then, there were no more cars, no more people around. There were no more thoughts, no more doubt, no more fear. Everything he had hoped for and everything he had denied himself was now freely given. The freedom of it prickled at the back of his eyes – but the stinging was soon gone, and the only thing that remained in the dark star of Essek’s world was the warm, welcoming feeling of Caleb’s lips on his.

EPILOGUE 

Caleb opened his eyes to the inquisitive light of the morning sun. He lifted his arms and stretched, a pleasurable shudder wracking through his entire body as his muscles tensed and released. He let out a huff of air and turned to his side, but it seemed Essek was already up.  

Looking around the bedroom reminded him that their time off next week would hold no less work for them than if they had been going to the office - perhaps even more, seeing as they had settled into a comfortable rhythm at work. Caleb and Essek had both gotten used to the trimestrial releases and 2-week sprints over their past two years at Luxon Ltd. 

No, the work that awaited them next week was of a more tangible nature: half-opened boxes were strewn around the place, and the walls still taunted him with the distasteful lilac color they had sworn to paint as soon as possible after moving in. But Caleb could only smile as he was reminded of how much it bothered Essek more than him. His partner was unable to stay in the room for longer than was strictly necessary or he claimed the color gave him headaches. Yes , Caleb thought – they really needed to repaint the whole place.

From the hallway, he heard the faint sound of birds chirping and figured his partner must be on the balcony watering his flowers. Essek had been delighted about this apartment’s southern orientation and good sun exposition. Finally, I can start a real garden, he had exclaimed, and perhaps it was unreasonable to begin so soon after moving in, but Caleb refused to speak a word on it, preferring instead to watch and help as Essek bought large plant boxes and a variety of seedlings. They were settling into their new pots, now – just like he and Essek in their new home. A little bit of water and sunshine, and they would all be healthy and content in no time.

Caleb rose and walked into the kitchen, stopping by the sink to throw some water in his face. The coffee machine – one of the first things they had unpacked – was emitting a delectable smell and Caleb’s mouth began to water as he poured himself a cup. Looking up, he found Essek sitting on the balcony, a mug of his own in his hands.

He stepped closer, breathing in the fresh air from the opened sliding door. Essek heard him, his ears twitching in his direction. His gaze soon followed, a contented smile dancing on soft lips. “I saw another one,” he murmured, and his eyes were gleaming with glee.

Caleb rubbed one of his eyes but kept the other one fixed on the peaceful scene. “Another what?” he mumbled through a fond smile.

“A mason bee. I checked the pictures that Caduceus sent me and – he was right, they do come here.” Essek looked expectantly as Caleb walked closer but rolled his eyes when he realized that the human was too sleepy to process the reason for his excitement. “Caleb, it means I can try strawberries this year!”

“Ahhh, I see,” Caleb murmured as he came to peck Essek’s cheek. “Pollinators.”

Essek nodded enthusiastically, bumping Caleb’s chin with his cheekbone. He then looked down and gasped, pushing Caleb back inside.

“Caleb – put some pants on , dear light –,” he sputtered, but the human just hummed, voice low from sleep.

“I am wearing boxers. They are practically like shorts.”

Essek rubbed his hand on his face. “They very distinctively look like boxers, Caleb. Go in, put some pants on, and then you can come back. I don’t want all our new neighbors thinking we are exhibitionists.”

Caleb chuckled and made his way back inside, putting his mug on the kitchen island as he passed it.

Essek’s voice trailed after him. “You might as well get fully dressed, Caleb. We need to leave in thirty minutes.”

Caleb just groaned and made for the bedroom once more, where he fished one of the few sets of appropriate work clothes that were not in boxes. A few minutes later, he was out and dressed. He found his mug where he had left it, but there was now a small plate balanced over it. When he uncovered it, his coffee was still warm. Essek was back on the balcony, but he was inspecting his plants now.

Caleb made himself some toast and joined his partner, leaning on the armrest of Essek’s balcony chair. “You should wake me up earlier. Then we would have time to have breakfast together,” he muttered between two bites.

Essek simply smirked at him. “If we took the car, then we would have more time in the morning, and then we could have breakfast together,” he taunted, pulling up the old argument once more.

Caleb rolled his eyes. “It’s one bus. It’s much cheaper than parking, it’s quick, and it’s better for the environment.” He leaned closer. “Better for the bees.”

Essek sighed. “I know. I yield to your sound logic.” He winked and added: “perhaps I enjoy my early mornings alone with the bees, Caleb Widogast. After all, I see you all day.”

Caleb hummed and took a sip of his coffee. “And all night,” he murmured knowingly.

“And all night,” Essek agreed with a chuckle.

They were silent for a few minutes as Caleb finished his toast, listening to the birds. It was one of the things that had sold Caleb on this apartment: there were trees, and many birds, and a few friendly street cats in the neighborhood that drove Frumpkin mad. In the morning, he loved coming to consciousness by the gentle sounds of the city waking up. He knew it would feel like home in no time.

He looked at Essek and smiled. It already did.

“What if we had a birdfeeder?” he suggested but froze when Essek turned and stared at him in horror. “What?” he wondered.

“Caleb, birds eat bees.” Essek shook his head. “And fruits,” he added. “I’ll never get anything to grow if we make the birds come closer. They are just fine over there in the trees.” When Caleb chuckled, Essek huffed and turned to face him, leaning away with an offended “What?”

The sight gave Caleb pause. The sun, hitting Essek’s cheeks and hair just right, made it look like it was strewn with gold. He longed to comb one hand into its Midas-touched strands and draw Essek in for a kiss, and to show him just how much love he held for him. Caleb wondered at how long they both had gone without expressing these things, dancing around each other and fretting over everything unsaid. Now, he noted with satisfaction, the only thing stopping him from brushing Essek’s delicate hair with his fingers was the fact that they were probably covered in peanut butter.

“Nothing,” Caleb shrugged with a beaming smile, and finished his coffee. “I love you, Essek.”