Work Text:
July 12, 2012
I wrote this as soon as I got back from my dance training in school. My body is tired but I still need to fill in my notebook.
“Hi! This is Soonyoung Kwon’s seventeenth entry, what’s our topic for tonight, self... I guess, love life? I don’t even know how to write it in an accurate way. Well, for now, I’ll give it a shot for you, silly hahaha
p.s: I’m writing this in order to move on from you though lol
It all started with a simple hi , it still rings in my mind— oh my gosh. Outside the school grounds by the flagpole early in the morning a month from now, you were a new student and you looked like an innocent one wearing a complete uniform with your shiny black shoes while mine already had a hole (definitely a funny memory to remember). It really showed that you didn’t have friends to talk to by the way you were standing awkwardly. I wanted to talk to you more but I was 5 seconds late lol.
Well, thankfully I got to talk to you because it turns out that we’re seatmates! Goodness gracious can you at least speak a word besides your name? If that’s the case, let me talk to you with full energy, (if I’ll be able to do it though) because you’re so cute hehe I might just smile if I look at you! I did expect that you were a smart one because you would recite all the time. Can I have at least a part from your brain? I badly need one for Chemistry class.
Anyway, I still can’t believe we got a little close in the first week of class. I didn’t know our birthdays were only a month apart and I can’t wait to give my gift to you! I should probably get more information about you as time goes by.
Wait a minute, am I really going to just write about how I met you? Let me get straight to the point right here before I shut my eyes.
I knew it was you because we clicked— in all things. We had a lot of similarities and your actions gave me an assurance that I have someone in common that I can be with everyday. Our midnight calls can explain it too. I liked it when you told me about your day. I liked it when you walked me to my bus even though your bus is from the other side of the school’s parking lot. I liked it when you read me books so I can fall asleep quickly. I liked everything about you. Did you feel the same, too? I hope so because you made it feel like everything will lead us into something romantic.
Is this common for someone who’s a Cancer and a Gemini? I hate it here.
I never knew that it was my friend that you’ll end up liking. Truth hurts and I’m not even complaining. I didn’t know that you tried to befriend me to be closer to my friend. It was actually fine with me because I never told you that I liked you.
Silly.
If ever you’re reading this I hope not , fuck you . I had a lot of questions for you—especially the question as to why.
Why did you leave without saying anything?
Why did you leave after I congratulated you?
Jokes on you for using me multiple times.
You looked like an absolute mess. An argument with my friend, huh? I can’t blame you because that was your choice. I can’t blame you for choosing someone that you only knew for a short period of time instead of someone who knew you first. You liked my friend in the first place and I don’t hate you nor my friend, don’t worry. I just felt the strong need for answers to my question.
I felt so empty, you know I value the people I meet because I don’t want them to leave me without saying anything.
Ew —I’m so emotional right now this isn’t healthy for my flawless skin.
After writing this entry, it felt so nice. Silly freak when will I ever move on from you.
It’s funny to say that I haven’t told you what I truly feel because I didn’t want to ruin the relationship you had with my friend. Mixed emotions right now so let me put on a random moment we had: Do you remember the time that there was an actual earthquake when we were in school? Our classmates were panicking so much because we were answering our test in literature. We didn’t know which one was the horror, the test, or the actual earthquake. Anyway, we were seated at both ends of the classrooms and all of sudden, we laughed—crazy because we were the only ones who were so calm so we led the whole class safely to the field. I can’t move on from that experience because that was the day you called me with a different nickname, Sillykwon . Oh god, I feel like my whole stomach has turned into a butterfly sanctuary!
I guess it’s all memories now.
I guess this is the time that I’ll finally tell myself to keep this feeling within this notebook only.
If time could only tell, I will wait for you. I will wait until the day that you’ll see the spark I have for you.
Ending this diary—I still miss you even if it has been almost a year. Of course, I can only see you from afar. I can only see you bloom more with a different florist. I picked you from a bed of flowers because you looked like a dying one. I picked you because I want you to bloom because I saw the potential you have. Continue to bloom, silly . Maybe at another time, we’ll meet and I will bravely approach you first before anyone else.
The dearest notebook which I cherish my whole life, this is my entry for today, I can’t even understand some parts due to the high amount of correction I encountered. I even placed drawings of silly in this paper.
Goodnight, notebook.
xoxo,
Soonyoung”
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This was the letter that I, Soonyoung Kwon wrote when we were in our high school days. Typical students who would express their feelings by writing, I did it in that way in order to forget about Wonwoo.
“Sillykwon, you really wrote this?” Wonwoo said.
“Sillyjeon, shut up with respect. Can you even tell the amount of cringe and mixed feelings I have as you read one of my entries?” I replied as I was standing up by the door of our storage room with my arms placed on my waist.
“And please for once, silly. Stop going through my entries for the I-don’t-know-how-many times. Goodness gracious you already memorized all of them!” I added as I approached Wonwoo.
“It’s just so sweet to look back on how we met, silly,” Wonwoo said as he opened his arms and signaled me to hug him tightly.
We swung from left to right while listening to the songs that our old sweetheart neighbor played early in the morning. Our bodies reacted quickly at the same time as soon as the song played. Is this the definition of soulmates?— I love it.
This was just a day in the life of me and Wonwoo’s little home. We’ve known each other for almost a decade now. We got into a relationship after two years of complicated communication and stuff and days just get sweeter whenever we look up in the past. Look at how faith brought us back together. I guess the original florist knows him the best after all.