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Bruce knew that this would be better for Dick. He knew it… but that didn’t make it hurt any less.
He looked behind his shoulder to the small mer curled up in a glass tank. Bubbles floated from his mouth and his shining blue tail thumped happily against the glass. Every few moments, he surfaced to take a sip of air, before returning to his task at the bottom of the tank.
Bruce had given him a small puzzle cube that he had found in the last port they stopped at, and the mer was instantly enamored with its bright colours. Dick was twisted its pieces around with a smile as he tried to unlock a little ball out of the middle of it. He hadn’t gotten it yet, but it was only a matter of time.
The kid was really too clever for his own good.
Despite Dick’s apparent happiness, the sight made something ache in Bruce’s chest.
The mer deserved the ocean. Not a tiny tub of water. He couldn’t live his life locked up in a cage.
“Bruce!” Dick chirped breaking the surface of the tank’s water and holding his arms out plaintively. The message was clear.
The man huffed to himself and crossed the cabin towards the tank. Dick was smiling, practically vibrating in excitement, as Bruce leaned down to swoop him up. The mer’s arms instantly circled around his neck and the boy leaned their heads together with a contented sigh.
“When are you going to go back to the land?” Dick asked, one of his small fingers rubbing against the stubble on Bruce’s jaw. Dick had a new obsession with anything to do with the land and was constantly asking questions about it.
Bruce chuckled, bouncing the boy lightly in his arms. “Are you excited for me to leave already?”
“No!” Dick argued quickly, eyes going wide with alarm. “No, of course, not.”
“You just like presents,” Bruce teased and the mer flushed.
Alfred was probably right in his assessment that Bruce was spoiling the kid.
“The next port is still two weeks away, but we going to take a small detour before we get there.” Dick looked up, his blue eyes, big and innocent.
“I want you to meet some other mers, so you don’t have to hang out with a big, old human anymore.” He tickled Dick’s side, under one of his fins, and the little mer’s laughs filled the ship cabin.
“That sounds fun,” Dick chirped, nuzzling into Bruce’s skin. Dick’s tail curling around Bruce’s waist. He yawned, collapsing sleepily against the human.
Bruce couldn’t help by tighten his grip on his little boy. He guided them both to the bed, tucking the mer in and swaddling him in soft blankets. Dick plastered himself to Bruce’s chest, humming happily when the man began to stroke the boy’s hair. The mer settled into sleep and soon his breaths evened out.
Sounds fun. Dick’s words repeated in his head and he felt something in him twist.
He hugged Dick closer and tried to ignore how much his heart was breaking.
***
They got to the mer pod about four days later and Dick was practically vibrating in excitement. The mer had demanded to be held so he could look out at the water with Bruce and was chattering about everything he saw.
“Bruce! That seagull was even bigger than the last one!” He laughed, pointing out at probably the fourteenth large seagull they had seen.
“It is quite big,” Bruce agreed, looking at the surface of the water instead of the sky. If his charts were correct, then a pod of mer would be passing through here now.
A small movement caught Bruce’s eyes and he whipped around to see the flicker of a tail too large to be a fish’s.
The sight drove dread deep into his stomach, but he ignored it.
He carried Dick to the small rowboat that they lowered into the water from the larger ship. Dick twisted at the bottom of the boat, his tail curling under him as he pushed himself to the side so he could see over the edge. He put a hand down into the ocean below and giggled as the sea spray speckled his face.
Bruce took both of the oars into his hands and began paddling them to the pod of mers.
Several wet heads were peeking out at him, wary blue and green eyes assessing him from the distance.
No singing had started, though, which meant the mers didn’t think of him as a danger.
At least not yet.
“Bruce,” Dick said, with more than a little bit of awe in his voice. “Are those mers? Like me?”
Guilt rose up in Bruce as he heard the boy’s astonishment. Bruce had found Dick when he was only six years old. Old enough to remember his first pod, but young enough that those memories were rusting and being replaced by Bruce.
And that couldn’t be good for the little mer.
Dick needed someone who was going to teach him how to swim and hunt and be the species he actually was. Bruce couldn’t be that for Dick, so he was going to give the pup to mers who could be.
The other mers caught sight of Dick and began to rapidly make cooing noises that Bruce had heard Dick make before. They slowly came closer, circling the boat with dorsal fins slicing through the water. It wasn’t aggressive, but something primitive in Bruce was put instantly on edge.
He wasn’t the only one either apparently, because he heard the little mer scrape against the bottom of the boat. Dick clawed his way up to sit next to him, nervously tucking himself into Bruce’s side. The other mers watched the action with wary eyes and their cooing sounds increased.
“It’s alright, chum,” Bruce gently stroked a hand down Dick’s back. “They aren’t going to hurt you. They are mer like you.”
Dick met his eyes, still looking anxious. He eased himself closer to the edge, though, peering down at the water below. The surface broke, revealing a small face that couldn’t be much older than Dick.
A little girl with rich, dark skin and just the slightest shimmer of yellow scales on the edges of her face. The suggestion of a glimmering gold tail swung below her.
The wild mermaid warbled and trilled at Dick, playfully splashing a little water in his face with her flowing fins.
And that was all it took to break the ice.
Dick laughed, and shoved himself over the side of the boat, slipping into the water like he was born to do. He twirled in the ocean, chasing after the young mers and effortlessly integrating himself in with the other pups.
Tears welled up in Bruce’s eyes as he watched his little boy finally be where he was supposed to be. His boy belonged here, it was so clear to see it. He had room to grow and play and be what he was supposed to be.
So why did it hurt so much?
Bruce let himself watch for a couple more minutes, before he grasped the oars back into his hands. Dick was laughing, playing with the other pups just like a merchild should. He didn’t notice as Bruce began paddling away.
That night he directed his ship away from the cove he had left Dick in and cried every single time he saw his son’s empty tank.
**
He stayed away for one week until he broke.
Alfred hummed when he saw the directions that Bruce gave him that night.
“I see you’re finally allowing yourself a visitation to Master Dick, then,” he said drily.
The old navigator had been extremely vocal about his distaste for Bruce’s plan when he had come back to the ship without Dick. Heck, the older man had nearly throttled Bruce and turned the ship back around himself.
But Alfred hadn’t seen how happy Dick was with his own kind. He didn’t see how much Dick needed to be with the other mer.
Bruce had selfishly already taken years of Dick’s life to himself; he wasn’t going to allow his self-serving attitude to take any more. If being with mer and away from Bruce was what Dick needed, then that’s what he would get.
“Maybe I shouldn’t go back,” Bruce hesitated, and Alfred shot him a venomous look.
“You most certainly will,” the navigator was already changing the course of the ship. “I had half the mind to do so much earlier.”
Bruce turned his face away, guilt rising up in him instantly. He wasn’t the only one mourning the loss of Dick.
Some of him worried that he was making a mistake. Dick was a mer and living in a pod now. Would Bruce coming back only a distraction? Would his presence destroy all the progress that Dick was surely making?
Another even more haunting thought crossed his mind.
Would Dick even remember him? Was it possible for a mer to forget him in a week?
Bruce was scared to find out.
***
Bruce woke up to the sound of crying.
“Dad! Dad please! Please!” Dick’s voice shattered the silence and made Bruce’s heart nearly burst out of his chest. Bruce struggled with the blankets around him, nearly tumbling out of bed as his little boy’s pleas surrounded him. It was dark and Bruce stumbled around his cabin as his son’s pleading became more and more desperate.
He didn’t bother changing out of his pajamas as he burst on to the main deck of the ship. His breath was coming fast and shallow in his lungs. His heart was beating frantically against his ribcage. Shivers of dread and the cold slide of fear filled his veins.
Where was Dick? Was he hurt? Why wasn’t he here?
In the open air of the nighttime, Dick’s cries were even clearer.
“Dad!” he screeched, his voice wet with a sob. “Please come here! Please I want to come home.”
Bruce practically flew to the edge of the ship, looking down at the dark water below. Between the waves and the churning sea, one pale face looked back at him.
“Bruce!” Dick’s voice became impossibly more frantic. A desperate sob rattled the boy’s body and Bruce was too far away to see the tears he knew were staining his son’s cheeks. “Dad, please.”
Bruce watched, frozen in horror, as Dick tried to scale the side of the ship with his claws. His son’s nails dug into the wood, and the mer put all his might into trying to lift himself, but he couldn’t. The ship rolled on a large wave, and the movement shook the mer loose, making him topple into the black water below.
Bruce’ breath caught in his chest as Dick’s head disappeared under the water, only to surface a moment later.
“Daddy,” he wailed, throwing himself against the ship again. He was sobbing, his small chest heaving at the air as his claws scrabbled for purchase on the wood. “Daddy, let me come home.”
Dick’s terrified blue eyes caught Bruce’s and all the willpower Bruce had inside him shattered. He rushed to the other side of the ship, where the rowboat hung from the ropes. When Bruce disappeared from the edge, Dick’s crying became frantic and wild, howls of desperation that Bruce would never forget.
“Dad!” Dick yelled, and he sounded moments away from having a complete breakdown. There were heavy thumps of Dick repeatedly trying to scale the ship and the heartbreaking splashes of his failures. Bruce couldn’t lower the rowboat into the water fast enough. “Don’t leave me again. Please, please, don’t leave me.”
Bruce’s small boat slammed into the water, nearly toppling him over, but he barely managed to balance it.
“Dick,” Bruce yelled, hoping the boy could hear him over the waves and his own crying. “I’m on the other side of the boat. Come here, Dick, please come here.”
The crying abruptly cut off and the silence made a shiver run down Bruce’s spine.
Then, suddenly, the water next to him burst and his son was flying into the rowboat. Dick landed hard, with a painful slap against the wood, but he didn’t seem to care. He instantly shoved himself into Bruce’s arms, grabbing his shirt so tightly like he was afraid Bruce would disappear if he let go.
“Bruce,” he whimpered, collapsing against the man’s chest, “Dad, don’t leave me again. Please.”
He was begging, and every single word put a crack in Bruce’s heart. He slowly brought his arms up, hugging his son close to him. Dick sobbed when he felt arms come around him, and the mer’s tears slid on to Bruce’s collarbone.
“I promise I’ll be better,” Dick pleaded, “I’ll be good. You don’t need to leave me alone. I’ll be good if you let me stay.”
“Oh Dick,” Bruce felt tears rolling down his own cheeks as he brought a hand to the back of his son’s head. His fingers laced through the boy’s silky strands. “You’re very good, but I was putting you where you belonged.”
“No!” Dick howled into his shirt, his grip tightened, and Bruce could feel the prick of claws against his skin. “I’ll be better, I promise. I’ll be good enough to stay with you. I belong with you.”
Dick looked at him through watery, blue eyes. The skin around them was puffy from crying and red blotches marred his delicate cheeks.
“You don’t, though.” Bruce said, even as everything inside he screamed that he was wrong. His own chest was quaking now. “I can’t be a father for you. I can’t stay.”
Dick’s anguish twisted into anger and he snarled. “Yes, you can! You told me that you would stay. Amma left me. Papa left me. You said that you wouldn’t ever leave me and then you left!” One of his small fists hit Bruce’s chest and he let the boy yell out all his fury and sorrow into his skin.
“I turned around and you weren’t there! You left! You promised me you wouldn’t leave me, and you still left me. I don’t understand, why does everyone abandon me!”
Bruce was fully crying now. He desperately wanted to take all of his boy’s pain away, for ease the worry from him and let him be safe and secure again. But Bruce had legs and Dick had fins.
A fish wasn’t meant to grow up on land.
He looked down at the whimpering child in his arms, the child that was whimpering because of him. He had done this. He had tried to do what was best for Dick and he had ruined everything. Pain like he had never felt before pierced through him. He had broken Dick’s trust, he didn’t deserve to ever get it back again.
The little mer was grasping on to him so tightly and begging for him to stay and be the father he so desperately wanted to be. He felt his heart break all over again.
A boy wasn’t meant to grow up constantly thinking his parents were going to leave him either.
“Dickie, I’m so sorry,” Bruce clutching his son closer, and the boy’s sobbing started again. “I’m so sorry I left you.”
“I’ll be good,” Dick promised, rubbing his forehead frantically on the edge of Bruce’s jaw, “I’ll be better and quieter and less needy. I just want to stay.”
Bruce choked. “No, sweetheart, you don’t need to change. I’ll let you stay.”
Dick made a hollow relieved cry, and suddenly went boneless on top of Bruce. His grip didn’t loosen any less.
“Please don’t leave me,” Dick didn’t seem to be able to stop begging. The words were quieter though, losing the heat of anger to be replaced by sorrow. “I’ll be good.”
“You can stay,” Bruce murmured as he began to hoist the rowboat up and out of the waves. “I love you so much.”
Bruce kept repeating the phase until the rowboat was at the deck level again. He stood, momentarily breaking Dick’s hold on him, and the mer instantly began to panic. His muscles tensed. His tail writhed. He started making heart- wrenching whines in the back of his throat as he frantically reached out for Bruce.
“I got you, chum,” he said as he reached do for his distressed child. He took the boy easily into his arms and Dick’s familiar weight settled something anxious and paternal in Bruce’s chest.
He pressed their heads together, the guilt of what Bruce had done sunk like a stone in his gut. “I’m sorry, Dick. I never meant to scare you. I only wanted what was best for you.”
“Then, don’t leave me,” Dick insisted. “Stay and be my dad.”
“I will,” Bruce promised. “I’m going to stay.”
Bruce carried Dick back to their cabin, passing Alfred who was standing outside his quarters watching. The older man had tears streaming down his cheeks and reaching out to caress Dick with they got close enough.
“Richard,” he whispered and the mer leaned into his touch.
“Alfred,” he whined, pressing a kiss against the man’s palm. Normally he probably would have been flinging himself into a hug, but his anxious fingers didn’t dare let go of Bruce. “I want to stay.”
Alfred hummed, stroking away the boy’s tears. “I want you to stay too. I love you dearly.”
A choked sob caught in Dick’s chest and he tried to get more words out but they died in his throat. The exhaustion was beginning to catch up to him and Bruce could fell the tension in his son’s body melting away.
“Take him to bed, Master Bruce. And if you ever try another stunt like this, I will skin you myself.” Alfred’s voice was warm and chillingly cold at the same time and Bruce didn’t doubt that the navigator meant it.
He silently nodded and took his boy to bed. He contemplated putting Dick in his tank, but judging by his tight grip and the distress he had by being separated earlier, he quickly brought them both into his cot.
The mer tucked himself into Bruce with silent tears still rolling down his eyes.
He hated that he had put them there. He hated that he had gotten this so wrong.
Was Dick going to ever forgive him?
The little mer placed his head right over Bruce’s heart and twisted his tail around his waist. Bruce stroked down the boy’s back, petting over warm skin and smooth scales. The boy leaned into the affection, soaking it up like a sponge.
“I promise,” he whispered into Dick’s hair, “I’m not going to ever abandon you.”
He knew this time, he wouldn’t break that promise again.