Work Text:
Your grip on the flimsy pregnancy test tightened as you glanced over the results. Positive. Maybe looking it over again will give you a different result. Positive. Blink a couple times. Positive, positive, positive. Your world came to a halt as you shiver while sitting on the toilet. What were you going to do? You weren’t ready for a child at your age. What would you tell him?
Thoughts of your boyfriend wave and crash in your mind. Jotaro Kujo, the silent and cold man from Japan who you had fallen in love with. In just a bit over year you both had become each others rock. He had walked into your life when you thought everything was lost, and it seemed like it was the same for him too. He didn’t talk too much about it but you could piece it together. He had gone through a traumatic experience as a teenager that left people that he knew dead. You didn’t question him too much, letting him come to you when he was ready.
This was going to crush him as much as it was going to crush you. Jotaro had brought up how eventually he’d like to have a family; have a successful career in marine biology and have multiple sons. But right now you were both in college, living off whatever you can get your hands on. He’s definitely had an easier ride than you but he always helped you without expecting anything in return.
You start to think back to a couple weeks ago when you had sex, an activity you both partook in regularly. There was something different that night, he was out of condoms but you both agreed that he’d be able to pull out in time. It seems that he pulled out a bit late. Embarrassment heats up your neck and up your face. A headache begins to take over when you hear a knock at your apartment door. It has to be Jotaro you think. He was clued in to your scare earlier today so he must be here to see the results.
You quickly clean and dress yourself hearing harsher faster knocks. He was never the most patient. Running over to the door and greeting him, he lets himself in to walk to the bathroom. You try to catch up to him trying to talk but fumbling your words. You walk into the bathroom where he’s leaning over the counter, hands in fists. He looks over at you with a look in his eyes that you had never seen before. Fear.
You stay where you are, keeping your distance. You never liked too much physical attention and were grateful that he was the same. You can feel your forehead crease with your eyebrows, your eyes beginning to sting from keeping your eyes open at him. “What are we going to do?” You cough up while shaking. He loosens his fists, “We now have a responsibility as parents, but I can’t do this.” And with that he pushed you aside and started to head out the door. You lean against the door frame finally letting loose all the tears that refused to come out moments ago.
Seven years later you live in a small home with your daughter who you named Jolyne. She is the apple of your eye, your sunshine that motivates you everyday. She had green eyes that she got from her fathers side of the family but she looked like you in every other way. You had given up your education all those years ago but seeing your daughter run to you everyday after school made you think that you’d do it all over again if you had to. You make your way up the walkway of the tiny primary school, strain in your ankles from a long day of work. Thoughts of dinner swirling your mind before you stop in your tracks. Jolyne hugging her teachers leg looking away while a tall man with a ripped cap talking to the teacher knocks you into reality. There’s no possibility right? He wouldn’t have the balls to try to sidestep you to see your daughter. But you were proved wrong after you jog up to the teacher.
“Jolynes mother should be here soon I do not know of Jolyne having a father.”
“I’ll wait here to talk with her.”
You catch the end of their conversation, going in to pat your hand on Jolynes back. She turns to you and immediately grips your leg yelling, “Mommy this man says that he’s my dad, is that true?” You look up at the man and you’re immediately taken aback. Turquoise blue eyes are staring you down with the old frown that you used to love. “You really suck you know that?” You scoffed, kneeling down to take Jolyne in for a hug. Her black hair tickling your chin as she nuzzles into your neck. “Yes baby that’s your father but he’s not your dad.” You coo into her ear.
“I came to see you.” He states in his familiar deep voice. You stand up, taking a light grip on Jolynes tiny hand. You give him the strongest glare that you’re able to muster up, snapping, “You probably already know where we live so why did you come here? Forget it, just follow me. We live about a block away.” He grunts and nods at you, allowing you to walk in front of him with your daughter in hand. You thank the teacher for taking care of your daughter before you begin to stomp off.
Jotaro lets his eyes wander down your figure, watching how you walk. He can’t help but feel his chest tighten looking at you hand in hand with his child. This was a sight he had always wanted but he never let himself indulge in it until today. He lets you lead him into your tiny home; two bedrooms with a shared bathroom, a small living area, and a kitchen with little to no counter space. You kneel down again to talk to Jolyne, telling her to go do her homework and to let the grownups speak. She gives Jotaro a small glance before running in her room.
“Where have you been? Why are you here now?”
“I just got back from a trip in Japan for work. I wanted to come back to see how you were doing. I also need to apologize, I made a big mistake. I shouldn’t have walked away from you all those years ago.” Jotaro takes off his white hat letting his hair dark hair fall out of place. You can feel yourself tensing up, you really didn’t want to have this sort of conversation with Jolyne in the house. She doesn’t know everything that happened with Jotaro and you didn’t want her to hear any arguing or yelling. You sigh, “Why did you think showing up at my daughters school was appropriate? You could have called me and we could have spoken in private. I know Jolyne is also your daughter but you haven’t been around as a father, not even when I took that test when we were both twenty one.” You motion for him to sit on the old couch in your living room. One that was on clearance at a rent center years ago when Jolyne was only a year old.
He sits down causing a big dip and creaking. His face goes solemn, looking down at his black and white boots. “I never meant to take your love away like that. I wasn’t ready to be a father and I wanted both of you to be safe.” He looks up at you with disappointment dripping off his features. You sit down next to him, smoothing out your work clothes and relaxing your ankles. “I know you weren’t ready to be a father but you know what Jotaro? I wasn’t ready to be a mother either. You left me alone, I had to leave university so I could raise my baby the way she deserves. You got to finish your education and seem to be doing well, I don’t know why you think making a tired apology will do you any better.” You whispered close to him. His eyes hadn’t left yours, listening intently to what you had to say. He leaned close to you acknowledging, “I am aware of the sacrifices you made for our daughter, I didn’t allow myself to be the proper father I should be. Please allow me to be a part of her life. I know you’ve most likely moved on from our love but I’ve thought about you everyday since then. I sat in my dorm, refusing to leave because I didn’t want to have to go out. I didn’t want to see you walk by and breakdown. Please understand that I’ve wanted to be the father and husband that you both deserve but I thought that I’d bring you nothing but danger. I need to be here for both of you, I want to give you a better home and a better life. Let me take care of you.”
You could feel tears wanting to spill out, why did he think he would be too dangerous to be around both of you? Could it have something to do with what happened to him when he was a teenager? “It may seem hard to believe but I’m doing just fine. We’ve been getting along very well without you. Time has made me stronger and you’re not longer on my mind.” That bit at the end was a lie, you thought about him everyday like he had about you. You had a picture of him in your wallet and in one of the drawers in your bedroom. He placed a hand over yours, covering it completely and squeezing lightly.
“You are my earth, my number one priority. You were the last woman I gave my love to, and I plan for it to only be you. You could ask me to do anything and it’d be as good as done.” Jotaro moves his other hand up to lay over your shoulder, wrapping it around your back. You sink into his white coat letting your tears waterfall down your face. He soothes your back warmly while wrapping his arms around you, squeezing you into his chest. “I really needed you Jotaro I really did. You let our love fall apart and I really want to say that you no longer have my heart and that I’m doing just fine. I haven’t had too much time to worry about myself because I’m everywhere doing everything.” He lets you ramble on against him.
You pull back after a while, looking back into his turquoise eyes, “I’ll only allow you back if Jolyne is okay to have you around. I want her to have the choice to get to know you but if she doesn’t want to, I won’t force her.” He nods, squeezing your hand again before letting his thumb rub across the back of your hand.