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“We don't have to do this if you don’t want to.”
Alex looked over at his boyfriend Willie, who had a small smile on his face. The two had been dating for almost a month and they had yet to tell anyone about it. To put it simply, Alex was scared. His friends knew he was gay and they have for a while now but getting a boyfriend was a completely new territory. It technically was his first real relationship. Yeah there was that one time he and Luke sort of dated but no one other than the two of them knew about it and it only lasted a week. Needless to say, that was one of the weirdest weeks of his life. But this whole thing with Willie was new and he didn’t want to mess it up
As time passed, Alex started to feel less scared, or so he thought. He hated keeping this huge secret from his friends. He promised them he wouldn’t lie to them yet he had a whole relationship behind their backs. He also hated keeping the secret because he really did want to show off his boyfriend. Willie had done so much for Alex even before they started dating. He had always made him laugh, he helped him through panic attacks, he taught him new ways to help out his anxiety. He was just always there. Then when they started dating, Willie not only did all that, but he did more too. He planned secret dates and would bring him random gifts. He even pulled a romcom cliche and started carrying his books to class. It started off as a joke but it became a regular occurrence pretty soon. Alex felt awful because he felt like he wasn’t pulling the same weight. He tried sometimes but he was just too scared that he’d do something wrong. Luckily, Willie didn’t seem to mind. Willie had also been incredibly understanding when it came to Alex not wanting to tell anyone about the two of them but Alex saw the slight disappointment on his face. If he couldn’t do everything else for Willie, he’d at least give him this.
“I want to.” Alex said firmly. The way Willie’s face lit up was exactly the reason he wanted to do this. Was he still a little scared? Yes, but it would all be worth it. If his friends didn’t like the fact that he was dating Willie, he’d just get new friends. Alex internally prayed it wouldn't get to that point. He didn’t think his friends would be mad or anything but Alex tended to think of the worst possible scenario when it came to basically anything.
“You sure? You’re doing the thing.” Willie mumbled as he took Alex’s hand away from his mouth. Alex was notorious for biting his nails, especially when he was anxious.
“I’m sure. I owe you this.”
Willie put his hand on Alex’s shoulder. He could feel the warmth of Willie’s hand even through his hoodie. “You don’t owe me anything. We only tell them if you want to.”
Alex nodded his head. “I want to.” He repeated. “I’m just nervous.” Nervous seemed like an understatement but he didn’t want Willie to know how truly scared he was.
“Well, if you really want to then we will. And I know it's pretty scary but I’m here with you. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” Willie teased, causing Alex to chuckle.
“I wouldn’t want to.” Alex said as he looked into Willie’s eyes. He took a look down the hall and noticed it was practically empty “We should go. They’re probably wondering where we are.”
And like that, the pair made their way from Alex’s locker to the cafeteria. Alex’s locker wasn’t super far from the cafeteria so they made it there pretty quickly. They stood outside of the cafeteria doors for a few seconds. While Alex felt like he was ready, he still had his doubts. He looked over at Willie who had a smile on his face. Seeing Willie happy like this was enough to push Alex’s worries away, if only for a little bit. The two had held hands all the way there and as much as Alex loved holding Willie’s hand, he let go. Once he told their friends, then they’d be able to hold hands all they wanted but for now, they just had to wait.
The two entered the semi long lunch line. Since they had gotten there pretty late, they had a much longer wait than usual. Alex didn’t mind too much though. While they were in the line, Willie started talking about something skateboard related. Alex wasn’t really focused on what Willie was saying. He was always pretty bad at focusing but when it came to Willie, it was near impossible. All Alex could focus on was how beautiful Willie truly was. The way his face lit up the moment he was talking about something he was passionate about was captivating and only made Alex want to hear more. He had no clue what his boyfriend was talking about 90% of the time but it didn’t really matter.
The moment the two left the lunch line, Alex really started feeling the pressure. He knew that he didn’t have to do this. If he told Willie he wanted to wait then Willie would instantly be on board with it but the part of Alex that wanted to tell them was really starting to weigh in. His friends deserved to know. He took a final deep breath before making his way to their normal lunch table. Well, their new normal lunch table. About 3 months ago, he sat with his best friends, Julie, Luke, Reggie and Flynn in the far corner of the cafeteria. They just wanted to do as they wanted without being bothered by other kids looking at them. Not that people didn’t look at them anyway but it still felt like a more private area. But then, Carrie and Julie patched up their friendship. They had a major falling out a few years ago and even though Alex didn’t know all of the details, he knew how hurt Julie had been from it. Flynn from then on called Carrie a demon and then vowed that they would never speak to Carrie again since she hurt Julie as much as she did. Julie agreed to that sentiment but it didn’t last. It was Willie and Alex’s friendship that gave the two a push to make up.
When Willie and Alex met, they kept their friendship a secret. It was well known that Willie was a part of Carrie’s friend group and while Alex wanted to be friends with Willie, he didn’t want to upset Julie. Not after all the poor girl went through. But one day, Carrie had seen Willie and Alex hanging out and she was pretty mad about it. While Alex never had to hear about how mad she was, Willie did. Alex was waiting for the moment where Willie was going to tell him they couldn’t be friends anymore. He wasn’t ready for that moment but he had been expecting it.
But that moment never came, in fact, what actually happened was the exact opposite of what Alex thought was going to happen. Willie told Carrie that he was going to be friends with Alex no matter what anyone said because he cared about him. When Alex had heard that Willie said he cared about him, he was over the moon. He had a small (secretly major but that’s besides the point) crush on Willie ever since he had crashed into him on his skateboard. Alex knew they were friends but he never knew Willie had actually cared about him until that point. But Willie’s declaration of caring for Alex apparently made Carrie do some thinking. A few days later, Carrie went up to Julie and apologized for how she had been acting and said she hoped they could put everything aside and maybe become friends again.
Unfortunately, things weren’t that easy. Julie just walked away from Carrie without saying anything to her. That's when Alex had stepped in and talked to Julie. He told Julie about his friendship with Willie which he expected her to get mad at but she wasn’t mad at all. She told Alex he could be friends with whoever he wanted to. Julie then told Alex the reason she didn’t accept Carrie’s apology was because she thought she was just doing it as some sort of joke or something. While Alex didn’t know much about Carrie, he knew that Willie wouldn’t be friends with someone who was a straight up jerk. Plus, if Carrie was really that bad, then Julie wouldn’t have been friends with her in the first place. Alex brought this up to Julie and to his surprise, Julie agreed with him. Later that day, Julie went to Carrie and the two of them started the journey of patching everything up. It wasn’t a short process and it definitely wasn’t a perfect one, things eventually got to a point where the two started to hang out again.
When the two arrived at their table which was in the center of the cafeteria, they got several greetings from their friends. As they greeted them back, they took their seats which happened to be next to each other.
“Hey guys! How have you two been?” Kayla asked from the other side of the table.
“We’re doing pretty good. How about you?”
“I’m great! Thanks for asking!” Kayla said with a smile. Alex wasn’t very close to Kayla. She was a sweet girl but he didn’t have much in common with her other than her love of dancing. She commonly joked about him being the next member of Dirty Candy to which Carrie just rolled her eyes and claimed that to be part of the group, he actually needed talent. If it was basically anyone else, Alex probably would’ve been offended but since it was Carrie, he took it as a joke.
Ever since Carrie's group and Julie’s group became one, Alex and Carrie have grown pretty close. She was almost like a sister to Alex. Not in the same way Julie was, but a sister like figure nonetheless. Julie was the caring and nurturing sister who was there when you needed a shoulder to cry on. Carrie was the sister who bullied you to show her love towards you. She was the one who told you where you went wrong and offered a solution on how to fix it.
“Oh by the way, I brought something for you.” Julie said as pulled out a bag of Starburst. The girl was known for bringing in small treats for her friends every once in a while. She handed Alex and Willie a mix of red and orange ones.
“I know pink is your favorite...” She said as she looked at Alex. He looked down at the red candies in his hand. “But these are red.” He pointed out.
“You didn’t let me finish. I know pink is your favorite but the pink ones are for me, Flynn and Carrie so you get red.”
Alex rolled his eyes and smiled. Red was his second favorite choice so he wasn’t complaining.
“Oh and I saved you the orange ones. Carrie told me they are your favorites.”
“Oh actually my favorites are…..” Willie started but was cut off by Alex, “The yellow ones”
The group all looked at Alex. “I mean… I’m just guessing.” Alex said as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“That’s just wrong.” Flynn declared with a head shake.
“Oh, I’m sorry Willie. I would’ve saved the yellow ones for you instead of giving them all to Reggie and Nick.” Julie apologized.
“Don’t worry Julie. I’m cool with orange.”
Flynn looked over at Nick and Reggie. “I still can’t get over the fact you two like the yellow ones.”
“Hey, it takes an acquired taste.” Reggie defended.
“I can’t believe Julie won’t give me even one pink one.” Luke complained. Julie looked at him and smiled. “Luke, you’re cute, but not that cute. These are mine.” She said, causing Luke to pout. She leaned over and pressed a kiss onto his cheek which made his pout go away.
“Cute….sure let’s go with that. Anyway, let me tell you guys what happened during English ” Flynn started talking but Alex wasn’t paying attention. All he could think about was how he was going to tell the news to his friends. Should he make some sort of big announcement or should he keep it casual? He was thinking casual since it was less likely to get a bad reaction but what if Willie wanted some huge announcement? He glanced over at Willie but his focus was on whatever Flynn was saying. His mind kept running and he had no clue how to calm it. That’s why it wasn’t too surprising when he blurted, “Willie and I are dating!” out of nowhere.
The moment the words flew out of his mouth, Flynn stopped talking and everyone’s attention was on Alex. He hated the feeling of everyone’s eyes on him right now, especially since he had no idea what they meant. He felt Willie grab onto his hand and squeeze it lightly, which calmed him down only slightly. A few moments went by before anyone said anything.
“Wait, we weren’t supposed to know?” Carrie asked.
Alex’s jaw dropped as he turned his attention onto Carrie. “You knew?”
“We all did.” Kayla interjected.
Alex looked around the table and everyone just murmured random words of confirmation.
“You too?” Alex asked, directing the question at Julie, Luke and Reggie.
“Uh yeah. We kinda walked in on you and Willie kissing in the studio.” Julie admitted, which made Alex face hot.
“And you didn’t say anything?”
“You seemed pretty preoccupied!” Reggie quickly defended causing everyone to laugh, including Willie. Alex groaned and put his head down on the table. He felt someone who he could only assume was Willie, started rubbing his back.
“How long have you guys known?” Willie asked.
“About three weeks give or take. You guys aren’t exactly subtle.” Flynn commented.
Alex lifted his head from the table. “So, you guys are ok with it?”
“Why wouldn’t we be?” Reggie asked.
Alex just shrugged. “I don’t know. Since we are all friends or whatever. I just didn’t want you guys thinking it was weird.”
Julie grabbed Alex’s hand from across the table. “Well we’re all ok with it. We all love you, no matter who you choose to go out with.” She said as she pointed her look at Willie.
“Thanks guys.” Alex said with a smile.
“Of course. We are happy that you two finally told us.” Nick beamed from the end of the table.
Alex returned Nick’s smile. Nick was the person Alex was the least close to out of everyone else at the table. They had nothing in common and they were kinda just friends because their friend groups were friends. Still, Nick being happy for him made Alex feel even happier.
Then, Alex’s gaze fell upon Luke. While Reggie, Julie and Flynn were also his best friends, Alex was the closest to Luke. They had been friends the longest out of any one else at the table and the fact that he had been pretty much silent up to this point made the nervous feeling return.
Luke turned his attention onto Willie. “If you hurt him, I hurt you. You understand?” Luke threatened.
“Luke, chill.” Flynn and Julie said at the same time, causing Luke to grumble.
“Well, hurting Alex is a serious offense. I think I’d deserve it.” Alex felt his heart flutter at Willie’s words. Luke seemed satisfied by what Willie said because a grin grew onto his face. “Then I don’t think we’ll have a problem here.”
Everything went back to normal pretty quickly. It was almost as if Alex had confessed nothing at all. Not like he even had to confess apparently. The more he thought about it, it wasn’t surprising his friends had found out. The couple constantly hung out and Alex would constantly talk about Willie. No matter what the conversation was, he would somehow mention the skater. He didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did.
Alex glanced over at his boyfriend, who had a huge smile on his face. He must’ve felt Alex’s eyes on him because he turned to look back at him. They stared into each other’s eyes for a few seconds before Willie leaned in and pressed a kiss onto Alex’s cheek.
The sweet moment was cut short when he heard a loud gag come from behind him. He looked away from his boyfriend and turned to see who it was. His eyes fell upon Flynn and Carrie who both had their fingers pointing inside their mouths. Alex rolled his eyes at his friends but he couldn’t wipe the smile from his face. “Ha ha, real funny guys.” He said sarcastically.
“Sorry, the idea of romance makes my stomach churn.” Flynn claimed.
Alex looked over at Carrie. “Ok, I get her, but you?”
“Yes! The idea of romance disgusts me too.”
“Oh really? Then maybe I shouldn’t mention what you said about…” Alex started but was quickly shushed by Carrie.
“Not a word.” She hissed.
“So I shouldn’t talk about-” Alex was then silenced by a hand covering his mouth. He wasn’t actually going to say anything but he thought Carrie’s reaction was hilarious. Carrie then removed her hand from his mouth. “Say anything and I promise you it won’t be pretty.”
Carrie sat back down and huffed. Her and Kayla started having their own little side conversation.
“Wait what’s going on?” Flynn asked.
“Don’t worry about it Flynn.”
Flynn looked around the table and everyone just gave her a shrug. Flynn focused in on Reggie. “What do you know?”
Reggie held his hands up in surrender. “Hey don’t look at me. I’m just as confused as you are.”
Flynn slumped down in her seat once she realized she wasn’t going to be getting any answers anytime soon.
Alex shook his head. One day she’ll understand.