Chapter Text

Whispers of Longing

Step after step, she cautiously made her way from one foothold to another. But treading over narrow passes with death looming below was part of her expertise.

"Please don't look down, Inquisitor," Dorian called out. He had already crossed to the other side, and it seemed as though he looked impatient. Though, the constant tapping of his foot against the soft earth might have also looked like anxiousness.

Feeling the weight of his gaze upon her, she bit the inside of her cheek.

"What if I might have already looked?"

Beneath her lay massive jagged outcroppings of rocks and slippery tangles of rashvine. All indications of the not-so-pleasant death they would offer if she fell.

The Emerald Graves was merciless in its ability to give them the most demanding time navigating around its terrain. Almost an entire month in this expedition, and she still had difficulty climbing its rocky outcroppings and giant flora.

And sometimes, her near recklessness drove Dorian mad.

"Please. I am not going to be the one to explain to Cullen that I let you fall to your death from a tree."

She laughed at that and carefully made her way down. Her hand reached to take Dorian's as helped her feet finally meet solid ground.

"Right then." She brushed a few stray leaves from her tunic. "I'm still alive, aren't I?"

"Surprisingly." He replied. "But, I'll tell your Commander that you had multiple brushes with death. To which I saved you from."

His words earned him a smack on the shoulder, followed by a quiet "oh shut up." Funny how their companionship worked. He was an annoying arse at times, but he had the ability to simultaneously sound like an overprotective older brother.

But what he had said made her mind wander.

Cullen. Maker's breath, it had been three weeks since she had seen him. Since she had kissed him. It would take another week for them to trek back to Skyhold.

Her footfalls were near-silent as they headed back to their camp, and her heart suddenly felt as if it had cracked open. Andraste, save her. Dorian's words had struck a chord in her heart that she worked so hard to keep hidden.

Your Commander.

She missed his warmth, his voice, the way he held her in his arms at night.

Come back to me in one piece.

His last words to her echoed within her mind day in and day out.

I love you.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Dorian placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, and the thought of him slowly moved towards the back of her mind.

"I'm sorry.” His gray eyes shone with sympathy and a touch of guilt. “You must be thinking about him.”

Her eyes met his, and she wondered if he had ever felt this longing. This ache. She would describe it as a dull throb on most days, but during some moments, it was heart-wrenching madness.

"It will be alright. Sometimes enduring brings us the finest and most invaluable rewards."

Dorian's words were reassuring, offering her a semblance of comfort. She smiled at him and nodded her thanks, unable to speak because of the growing pain in her heart.

Before they had departed, Cullen made her swear that she would take a long break before leaving him again.

"The duties of the Inquisitor are not always to leave for weeks and never send word," he had said. But she knew he had just wanted her all to himself.

Not that she would mind.

She missed him. It would be another week of non-stop traveling and endless banter between her companions, followed by unbearable times of silence and loneliness. And yet she knew that afterward when all was finished, he would be there waiting with open arms.