Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

the midday sunlight shines through the window as sapnap’s fingers type quickly, struggling to keep up with the movements in his brain. the essay is due in 15 minutes, and he’s wrapping up his conclusion when he hears dream holler a quick, “heading out!” in his direction as the front door swings shut. sapnap knows exactly where he’s heading, and rolls his eyes, letting out a short sigh before refocusing. 

the two have lived in this apartment for over a year, spending their first two semesters of college together after dream’s gap year. they had adjusted well, they were best friends after all, and continued to grow closer the longer they spend together. everything was going great. emphasis on was . 

george infiltrated sapnap’s comfort zone without warning, popping the bubble of familiarity he surrounded himself with. dream fell, hard. sapnap was happy for them, he really was, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss the times when it was just him and dream, two brothers leaning on each other. now, it was always two brothers and one brother’s annoying boyfriend who can never seem to spend more than a few hours without him. it's not that he dislikes george, they get along quite well. but sapnap can't help but feel left out when it's just the three of them. 

maybe it wouldn’t have bothered sapnap as much if dream wasn’t the only person he hung out with. listen, he’s not a hermit, okay? he just likes to be by himself sometimes, and making friends in college is hard work, work he didn’t have time for. sure, there were acquaintances. there was callahan and alyssa, friends from his bio lab, and bad, who always seems to work his library shift the same time sapnap goes to study. all lovely people, they just never felt like anything more than classmates, and sapnap didn't know how to change that. he is, admittedly, a little lonely.

after alphabetizing his references page, sapnap uploads the document with three minutes to spare and pulls his laptop closed, sighing in relief. as he crosses the assignment off of his to do list, he’s faced with the last activity on his saturday afternoon checklist.

• practice for seminar!

though sapnap is a business-marketing major, he takes violin lessons through the university. it’s a requirement to keep his scholarship, a decent sum of money that he definitely can’t afford to lose. seminar is the biweekly performance that he has to give to his instructor and the other violin students, and he’s not looking forward to it. not only is it a huge part of his grade, but the other students are required to critique him, and even though he’s the only one in his studio that isn’t a music major, they don’t take it easy on him.

he drags a hand down his face and groans, he’s been putting this off. facing defeat, he heads to his bedroom. he changes out of his pajamas and into a pair of black sweats, a white hoodie, and a light jean jacket, running a hand through his hair before pulling on his white air force ones. grabbing his keys and his backpack, he leaves the apartment, locks the door behind him, and starts his trek to the music building. 

as he walks, he hits shuffle on josh groban's artist profile on spotify, one of his favorite musicians. sapnap and his mom used to listen to his music together when he was a kid, and since then, the man's velvety voice always helped to calm him down. he hears the silky chorus of one of his favorite songs, and lets a soft smile bloom on his face. 

you are the sun, i am the moon

you are the words, i am the tune

play me

he silently hopes his own sun will make it to him soon. 

—

frustrated, sapnap angrily returns his violin case to his locker, shutting it and pushing the lock closed. his practice session went worse than expected. his seminar piece is difficult, much more difficult than his previous pieces, and there’s one line that kept tripping him up the entire hour he was practicing. needing a pick-me-up, he heads down the stairs to the basement of the building, where the vending machine is. 

grabbing the blue monster from the machine, he turns to leave, running straight into another body. startled, he looks up, ready to take out his anger, but the words die on his tongue. he locks eyes with the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. fluffy brown hair, goofy smile, and gorgeous grey eyes stare right back at him, and his anger melts away. 

“... hello?”

sapnap shakes himself from his daydream, realizing the boy has been talking to him.

“sorry, what?” he asks.

giggling, the boy responds, “i asked if you were alright.”

sapnap can feel his cheeks heating up. “yeah, yeah, i’m- i’m good, yeah,” he stutters out. the boy smiles and nods, moving to take his place in front of the vending machine, patting sapnap on the shoulder as he passes. it burns. before sapnap gathers the will to start walking, the boy speaks again. 

“ahhh man, is that the last monster?” 

“you can have it!” sapnap blurts. his eyes go wide and his cheeks turn pink once more. why did i say that??? he extends his hand, offering the drink to the stranger. 

the boy looks surprised, his own cheeks tinted pink. “are you sure? i can just get something else...” he trails off. feeling bold, sapnap replies, “no, no. just tell me your name, and it’s yours.”

sapnap is satisfied when the blush on the boy’s cheeks deepens, and he stutters out, “oh- um, i- my name is karl. karl jacobs.”

“karl, huh? i like it,” he replies, “i’m nick. most people just call me sapnap, but either one is fine.” 

karl chuckles and takes the drink from sapnap. “why have i never seen you around, nick?” 

sapnap momentarily gets lost in the way karl says his name, but he regains his composure and quickly replies, “i try to avoid this place as much as i can.”

karl laughs at that. “i feel ya, man. practice rooms are like hell on earth.” 

“what do you play?” sapnap asks.

“oh, i don’t. i’m in the choir,” karl replies. “what about you?” 

“violin.”

“impressive,” karl nods, a soft smile on his face.

“more like boring,” sapnap chuckles, making eye contact.

karl meets his gaze, “you don’t seem boring to me,” he says. sapnap’s heartbeat quickens as he takes in karl’s features once again, noticing the small dimple in his left cheek formed from the smile planted on his face. he feels himself smile as well, and he’s sure that he’s blushing.

a loud ringtone startles them both out of their trance, karl cursing to himself upon realizing it’s his. he looks at his screen, hurriedly saying a quick, “nice to meet you, see you around!” before answering and heading the opposite direction as sapnap. he can pick out a couple of phrases, an “i’m on my way, sorry” and “i got distracted.” 

to sapnap’s surprise, karl turns around and flashes him one last smile accompanied by a wave, then turns back and jogs around the corner. 

for i've been lonely, in need of someone

but i don't know where, i don't know where

sapnap is left standing there, staring blankly at the place karl just was. he shakes his head, turns on his heel, and walks back to his apartment, caffeine forgotten and a song in his head.

—

a few days go by before sapnap sees karl again, though the boy’s been running through his mind nonstop. this time, it’s in the campus coffee shop a few buildings down from where they first met. dream’s been scolding sapnap about drinking too much monster, encouraging him to try better sources of caffeine. so here he is, ordering an iced caramel latte at george’s recommendation. 

as he goes to put his card back into his wallet, he hears a familiar voice from behind him, “i’ll have whatever he’s having.” 

sapnap whips his head around, and there he is. karl jacobs, looking right at him with the most adorable grin plastered on his face, giggling as sapnap’s cheeks heat up. coolly, he says, “get tired of stealing monsters from innocent violinists?” 

“hey, last time i checked, you offered,” karl laughs. “plus, my roommate’s making me try healthier ways to satisfy the caffeine addiction. he thinks i’m gonna die of a heart attack or something.”

“no way, mine too,” sapnap smiles. “happy coincidence.”

“very happy,” karl nods. “you wanna sit together?” 

sapnap nods as they fall into a comfortable silence, waiting for their drinks. he takes this opportunity to take in karl’s appearance once again. well-worn white converse, dark jeans cuffed at the ankles, dark green turtleneck underneath a white crew neck with a tiny frog embroidered over his heart, silver chains with rings to match. he looks good. really good.

before karl can catch him staring, their drinks are called. sapnap walks up to take them, giving the barista a quick thanks and flashing a smile. he turns to find karl sitting at a table in the corner, looking out the window, and makes his way over. 

setting the drinks down and taking a seat, sapnap asks, “so, pretty boy, tell me more about you.”

karl flusters at the nickname, blushing and looking down. sapnap wants to take a mental screenshot. “what do you wanna know?” he asks. 

“anything, really. start with the basics.”

“alright, well, i’m a film major. i’m a third year, i work camera crew for the production department, i’m in the SATB choir ensemble as a tenor,” he pauses, thinking. “i really like movies, and i play a lot of video games.” 

sapnap smiles, teasing, “the SATB choir? isn’t that the top choir? you must be talented.”

“less talent, more work, i think,” karl chuckles. “the other day when i ran into you, i was actually headed to a tenor sectional. i was running late when alex called me, so sorry for leaving you hanging like that.” 

“it’s alright. who’s alex?” sapnap asks, secretly hoping the mystery guy isn’t karl’s boyfriend.

“oh! he’s the tenor section leader, and also my best friend. we met through the choir our first year,” karl explains. “anyway, enough about me, tell me about you!” 

“i’m a business-marketing major, i work in the mailroom. i play the violin, but not for any ensembles. i’m also on the intramural slow-pitch softball team with my roommate and his boyfriend, but we’re out of season right now,” sapnap explains. “i guess that’s pretty much it.”

karl smiles, and they drift into easy conversation. sapnap learns that karl’s roommate’s name is chris, and they live in the apartment building across the street from his and dream’s, the same one george lives in. chris is a secondary education major, same as dream, and sapnap makes a mental note to ask if dream knows him. alex is apparently an instrumental music education major, with a specialty in guitar and ukulele. karl tells him that alex has been teaching him how to play the ukulele, and promises him a song once he learns a good one. sapnap tells karl about dream and george as well, explaining that george is a computer science major and codes on the side for extra cash, then moving on to talk about the slow-pitch season and his position as catcher. 

the conversation drifts comfortably from topic to topic, and before the boys know it, they’ve been sitting in the shop for three hours. 

“well, i think it’s about that time,” sapnap laughs.

“yeah, i suppose it is,” karl says, scribbling on a napkin and handing it to sapnap. “here’s my number, maybe next time we see each other, it’ll be on purpose.” 

with a goofy grin and a chuckle, sapnap replies, “yeah, i’d like that.”

— 

“you like him,” dream says. “you’re not subtle.”

sapnap rolls his eyes yet again. it’s been a week since he first ran into karl, and after texting him every day nonstop, he figured it was time to tell dream. God help him.

“all i asked was if you knew chris, not trying to be psychoanalyzed here, dude.”

“but you totally do!” the blond boy practically screeches. “george, tell him i’m right.” 

george looks up from his phone, sighing as he and sapnap share an exhausted look. “clay, you’re not helping. he’s finally making friends that are cooler than you, sue him for being excited,” he quips. 

dream pouts, but doesn’t push further. that is until sapnap’s text tone goes off amidst the silence. his eyes widen, and he lunges for the cell phone, barely beating dream to it, clutching it to his chest and sprinting to his room. 

“is that him?!” dream squeals as he chases after the dark haired boy. sapnap manages to shut and lock his door in the nick (haha see what i did there) of time. dream jiggles the handle, then gives up, shouting, “you better update me later!” through the door before pacing back to the living room. 

sapnap chuckles, flopping down on his bed. taking a deep breath, he taps the notification from karl. 

k: hey there nicholas

it’s just a silly nickname, but sapnap’s heart flutters just the same.

s: what’s up jacobs?

k: very bored :[ what r u doing rn?

s: a whole lotta nothin

k: perfect

k: meet me outside in 10

sapnap checks the time on his phone, 12:31 am. what on earth is he planning? he throws on a hoodie over his t shirt and sweats, quickly slipping on his checkered vans before checking his hair in the mirror. he leaves his bedroom as quietly as possible, trying to avoid dream’s endless questioning. he tiptoes past the living room, catching sight of dream and george cuddled on the couch, fast asleep, movie softly playing from the tv. he smiles at the sight before silently grabbing his keys and heading outside. 

when he gets to the bottom of the stairs, karl is already waiting for him. sitting on a bench between the two apartment buildings, he beams when he sees sapnap. returning the smile, he gives karl a little wave, making his way to the bench. 

“only eight minutes, i’m impressed,” karl teases. “must’ve been excited to see me.” 

sapnap playfully rolls his eyes. “in your dreams, pretty boy.”

to his delight, karl flushes, giggling quietly as his cheeks heat up. sapnap scours his face, hoping to find that dimple again, but all he sees are the bags under karl’s eyes. his joking manner turns into concern, and before he realizes what he’s doing, he’s squatted down to karl’s eye level and his hand is cupping the other boy’s cheek, lightly running his thumb over the dark circles. karl immediately leans into the touch, cheeks darkening and eyes growing wider. when sapnap meets his gaze, all he can think to say is, “you need sleep, nimrod.”

karl let’s out a humorless laugh, his eyes falling shut as he rests his face in sapnap’s hand. 

“i know, idiot, but i can’t. that’s kinda why i texted you,” he replies, opening one eye.

“i have an idea,” sapnap says, running a hand through karl’s hair before standing and brushing off his pants. he offers his hand to karl, who takes it and shyly intertwines their fingers, making sapnap blush. 

sapnap leads karl onto the trail that passes their apartment buildings, and they fall into step, connected hands swinging between them. they make mindless conversation as sapnap follows the familiar route in his mind, and eventually slows to a stop at their destination.

they’re standing in a small riverside park, offering only a swing set and a seesaw, with picnic tables and benches scattered along the trail. sapnap suddenly feels nervous. this is his favorite spot. he found the place by accident after running from a fight he and dream had during the first couple months of living together, and since then it’s been his go-to place to clear his mind. bringing karl here was a big deal, and it makes sapnap a little worried that he didn’t think twice about it. 

before he has the chance to overthink it, though, karl is yelling, “race ya!” as he takes off in a sprint towards the swings. sapnap immediately grins and chases after him, just barely catching up. they make it to the swing set and karl takes one, eyes bright and excited.

“push me!” he giggles, and sapnap playfully rolls his eyes, complying anyway.

of course i will, he realizes, there’s no way i could say no you.

and he’s right. there’s absolutely no way that sapnap can say no to karl. not when the bags under his eyes have seemingly disappeared, replaced by faint freckles dusting his pink cheeks. not when his eyes look like they hold their own galaxy, millions of stars twinkling in the light of the moon. not when his laughter feels contagious as giggles spill out of his mouth. not when his pretty smile has returned in full force, and sapnap can finally see that damn dimple again. not now, not ever. not when he’s this fucking perfect. 

as karl’s swing slows, sapnap places a hand on the chain to stop him. karl is out of breath, still giggling as he beams up at the dark haired boy. he tries to stand up, stumbling as he loses his balance. sapnap catches him by the waist, grabbing his wrist and steadying him. they lock eyes, and sapnap becomes acutely aware of how close they are. faces inches apart, panted breaths mingling, flushed cheeks and wide eyes. 

sapnap steals a glance at karl’s lips, pretty pink and parted in surprise. before he can psych himself out, he slowly leans in, closing the distance between them. karl melts into him, returning the kiss immediately with matching tenderness. his hand finds its way to sapnap’s hair, lightly tugging as sapnap’s grip around his waist tightens. their lips move in sync, and the world fades away. 

song he sang to me, words that rang in me

warmed the night

and what was right, became me

when they part, they’re both out of breath and smiling like idiots. karl laughs and buries his face in sapnap’s neck, embarrassed. sapnap rubs circles on his back, mumbling into his hair, “that was nice.”

karl pulls back to look at sapnap, trying to hold in his laugh. “just nice?” he teases. sapnap giggles, retracting his arm from karl’s waist to intertwine their fingers again. “more than nice, dimwit.” 

“so,” karl awkwardly starts, dragging out the vowel, “now we kinda have to have the labels talk.” 

“okay,” sapnap chirps. “what would you like us to be?”

“i mean, i want to be your boyfriend but if that’s too fast you can tell me and we can go slo-”

his ramble is stopped in its tracks as sapnap leans over to give him a quick peck on the lips. “shut up, boyfriend.”

Chapter Text

it’s been four blissful months since that first night at the park, which has quickly turned from sapnap’s spot to their spot. it didn’t take dream and george long to figure out, mostly because the minute sapnap had come home that night, he shook dream awake to gush about the boy, his boy. 

“i kissed him! i actually kissed him!” he had squealed. groggily, dream sat up as george stirred on top of him. 

“pandas,” dream had said, another nickname from their childhood. “i am so unbelievably happy for you, dude, but’s it’s three in the fucking morning.”  

now, the two lovebirds are sat on the floor in karl’s living room, playing minecraft on chris’s xbox. chris is standing in the kitchen with jimmy, a business major and good friend to him and karl. sapnap and jimmy had been in many of the same classes since sapnap’s first semester, but it wasn’t until he started dating karl that they actually became friends. now, the four frequently hang out together, often dragging alex, dream, and george along on their adventures. 

sapnap whoops in victory as he kills karl in game for the seventh time. karl slumps, dropping his controller to rub his face in frustration. “how do you always win?!” he whines. “i’m just that good,” sapnap replies, patting the older boy’s head. his phone’s alarm goes off, and he reaches to turn it off as karl grumbles in response. 

“that’s my cue, babe,” sapnap says. 

“come on, you can be a little late,” karl pouts. 

sapnap shakes his head. “no can do, bub. i was late last week, and if it happens again i’ll never hear the end of it.” 

“fine,” karl huffs, dragging out the vowel. “tell green boy i say hi.”

“will do,” sapnap replies, standing up and shoving his phone in his pocket. he leans down to kiss karl on the top of his head before waving to chris and jimmy and heading back towards his own apartment. 

when sapnap started dating karl, dream felt like he never saw him at all, and he missed his best friend. so, he came up with a “genius energy idea,” as he called it. now every sunday night sapnap and dream clear their schedules to cook dinner together, just the two of them, and chat about their weeks with one another. last sunday, sapnap had fallen asleep at karl’s after a brunch date and was late, and dream has been whining about it all week. as sapnap enters their shared apartment, he can smell that dream has started cooking already. he hangs his keys on the hook and walks into the kitchen, seeing dream standing by the stove with an apron on sauteing vegetables for their homemade tacos, swaying to the soft oldies playlist coming from his speaker on the counter. 

“wait for me, would ya?” sapnap teases.

“oh, hey, you’re back. wanna grab me the pepper from the cupboard?” 

sapnap nods, grabbing the spice and handing it to the blond boy before putting on an apron that matches his. after washing his hands, he grabs the mini tortillas and places them in the toaster, then joins dream at the stove to start browning the meat. the two work well together, maneuvering around one another with practiced ease as they enjoy the sizzle of food atop the low music. after another 30 minutes of cooking, the two have successfully made six tacos to share between the two of them. dream takes four, sapnap takes two, and they move to the island to sit and eat. they dive into easy conversation about the week they’ve had, and the week ahead, and sapnap is reminded of just how much he appreciates dream. 

“so, the concert is this weekend, right?” dream asks. sapnap takes a drink of his water and nods. 

“yeah, it's saturday night at 7:00,” he replies. “karl’s really excited, he said that alex and wilbur are already getting nervous about it. i think they’ll do great. from what i hear of karl’s practice sessions, they’ll be fine.” 

“wilbur’s the vocal performance guy right? i think he’s friends with niki, that elementary ed major in my class.” 

“yeah, yeah, really cool guy. talented, too,” sapnap confirms. “i ran into him and his younger brother at the grocery store on tuesday, i think the kid’s name is tommy? crazy kid, but very friendly.” 

“yeah, niki has talked about him before, when we did that project together,” dream says. “sounds like a good kid.”

“apparently, he and his best friend want to go into computer science, and wilbur’s trying to find someone to teach them how to code,” sapnap explains. “i’ve been meaning to talk to george about it. it wouldn’t be much pay, but it could be fun for him.”

“yeah, i’ll let him know,” dream replies. “he just finished his latest job, so he’s got some time to kill.” 

“how are you two doing?”

“we’re … good. like, really good,” dream smiles, blushing slightly. “sap, i really think he’s my endgame.” 

“i’m really rooting for you guys. i have no doubt that he feels the same.” sapnap reassures, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “you guys are so in love it makes me sick.” 

dream chuckles, taking another bite. “what about you and karl?” he asks through the mouthful of food. 

sapnap blushes, smiling to himself. images of karl run through his mind. his dopey smile, his morning bedhead, the way his eyebrows knit together when he’s focused, the way his eyes twinkle when he’s singing, the teeny tiny freckles that only sapnap gets close enough to see, the way he bites his lip when he’s nervous, and that goddamn dimple. 

“i love him, dream.” 

“have you told him that?” 

“not yet, but i have a plan.” 

as the roomies wrap up their meal and begin to clean the mess they made, karl never leaves sapnap’s mind. not even as sapnap finishes his assignments for the night does the floppy haired goofball leave his brain. after sending his boyfriend a quick text goodnight, sapnap easily drifts to sleep, smiling as he thinks of the week to come. 

––

and what a week it’s been. the past five days have been much busier than sapnap had predicted, with classes and seminar, and slowpitch practices starting up again. as he, dream, george, and their teammates ponk and sam burst through the front door of he and dream’s apartment that friday evening, sweaty and starving, they’re met with a delicious smell coming from the kitchen. confused, sapnap follows the scent, coming face to face with his amazing boyfriend and six warm plates of chicken and mashed potatoes. 

“i know you said that the spare key was for emergencies, but i think this should count.” 

sapnap laughs at karl’s sheepish defense, closing the distance between them to wrap him in a tight hug, lifting him off the hardwood floor slightly as he giggles. when his feet hit the floor again, karl pulls sapnap in by his collar for a quick kiss. 

“thank you,” sapnap says, beaming. 

“thank me after you shower, stinky.” karl teases, maneuvering around his boyfriend to slap the greedy hands of the other boys. “that goes for you guys too. shower first, then food. no smelly boys at the table.” 

the group groans in response, muttering scattered agreements before heading to their respective areas. the apartment has three full bathrooms, so sapnap heads to the one connected to his room, dream and george head to dream’s, and sam heads to the spare while ponk waits on the couch for him to finish. 

sapnap returns first, wrapping his arms around karl from behind as he’s finishing up the dishes. karl hums contentedly before greeting him.

“hi,” he says, unable to hide the smile on his face.

“hi,” sapnap replies, resting his head on karl’s shoulder.

“hi,” sam pipes up from behind them, teasing them as he makes his way to the table where his plate is. 

the duo giggles, both of them moving to take their own seats. the three of them chat aimlessly until the rest of the bunch is settled in their seats, and they start eating. they keep up easy conversation as they eat, and make sure to thank karl and compliment the food. once everyone is finished, dream and george offer to clean up, and ponk and sam say their goodbyes before heading home. karl and sapnap retire to sapnap’s bedroom and karl puts his favorites from cartoon network on the tv. the boys cuddle together, sleepily enjoying each other’s company, sapnap tracing figure eights on karl’s waist while the older boy struggles to stay awake. 

as karl rubs his eyes for the fifth time, sapnap chuckles softly and whispers, “go to sleep, dummy. you’ve got a big day tomorrow.” 

karl shifts so he’s looking up at sapnap. “but you’re not tired and i like laying with you,” he pouts.

sapnap moves his hand from karl’s waist, switching to running his fingers through the boy’s hair. karl’s eyes flutter closed and he happily sighs, tightening his arms around sapnap’s middle. 

“... fine, you win,” karl finally whispers back, snuggling impossibly closer to his boyfriend’s chest. sapnap smiles triumphantly to himself, turning the volume down on the cartoons and plugging both of their phones in before wrapping his arms around karl again. as he admires his gorgeous boy, he runs through the plan in his head for possibly the hundredth time this week, excitement and nerves growing at the thought of tomorrow’s events. 

song he brang to me, rhymes that sprang from me

come lately

“guess we’ve both got a big day tomorrow,” he whispers to himself. 

—

“stop moving, oh my god,” george tries to be stern, but the grin on his face gives him away. 

“i’m nervous, gogs.”

“wow, really? couldn’t tell.”

george removes his hands from sapnap’s bow tie, stepping back to make sure it’s straight. he gives the taller boy a once over, making sure he looks as perfect as possible. satisfied, he gives sapnap a curt nod and a cheeky smile, yelling, “clay! come look at him!” 

dream comes bounding into the room, muttering, “he’s finally ready?” when he sees sapnap’s perfectly tailored suit, complete with a burnt orange bow tie and matching cuff links, he beams. “you look great, nick. he’ll be blown away.”

sapnap nervously nods, checking his hair in the mirror. dream slaps his hands away, fixing it for him before placing both hands on his shoulders, looking right into his eyes. “you’ve got this, brother.” he’s clearly being genuine, and the sentiment makes sapnap’s heartbeat slow down a tiny bit.

he checks his watch, 6:03pm. “gotta run if i wanna make it on time.”

“be safe, call me if you need anything, tell him we say hello and well done. i love you, man, you’re gonna nail it,” dream replies.

sapnap nods. “love you guys too, thank you for helping me.”

“anytime, sapnap. now get out,” george jokes, lightly shoving him towards the door. chuckling, sapnap waves as he exits. he hurries down the stairs, towards the sidewalk that leads into the city and away from campus.

the walk is calming, his nerves easing with each step. i can do this. i can totally do this. by the time he reaches the flower shop, all of his anxiety has been replaced by pure excitement. he enters and makes his way to the counter, telling the employee, “i called ahead, the arrangement is for karl?” 

the woman softly smiles, nodding and heading into the back room briefly before returning with the gorgeous arrangement. red tulips, with white lilies and daisies scattered throughout. tulips symbolize a declaration of love, white lillies and daisies symbolize pure connection and prosperity. sapnap recites the research he did as he pays for the bouquet, humming to himself. he thanks the woman and heads out of the shop, back towards campus, checking his watch. 6:27pm. 

the concert is being held at the campus auditorium, and sapnap reserved his ticket way ahead of time. he’s seated in the middle section, towards the back of the floor level. far enough that karl will be able to see him through the glare of the stage lights, but close enough that he can still make out karl’s dimple as he sings. he’s perfected every detail of this day, but knowing the two of them, not everything will go to plan. sapnap thinks that any deviation is probably better than what he could’ve come up with anyway, more authentic to their dynamic. the thought leaves him grinning to himself as he makes his way back to campus, past the music building and the chapel, and into the front doors of the auditorium. 

he crosses the threshold at exactly 6:43pm, and the place is buzzing with excitement. the auditorium is fairly large for the size of their small, private college, and sapnap can tell it’ll be a full house tonight. the college is known for the music department, sporting many famous performers and composers as their professors, so the choir karl sings with is quite famous, at least locally. it’s no surprise to sapnap, especially not after sitting through one of karl’s practice sessions. the students in the choir work hard, and deserve every ounce of recognition they get. 

sapnap hands his ticket to the woman at the door, entering the large, beautiful room. he doesn’t know much about vocal acoustics, but he does remember sounding like a professional the first time he performed for his seminar in this room. it had made him feel powerful at the time. he hopes karl enjoys it just as much. he finds his seat, carefully placing the bouquet in his lap. an elderly woman is seated in the place next to him, and she smiles as she sees the flowers. 

“who’s the lucky lady?” she asks. 

sapnap chuckles. “these are for my boyfriend, actually.”

the woman’s eyes go wide and she quickly apologizes as sapnap smiles at her politeness. “still, he must be a lucky one to have you out here supporting him, and all dolled up like that,” she compliments. 

sapnap smiles. “i’ll point him out to you when they take the stage. i’m pretty sure i’m the lucky one.”

the two continue polite conversation until the house lights dim, signalling the start of the concert. the room is pitch black for a couple of minutes, and then suddenly the stage lights are shining again, and the choir is on display. sapnap quickly scans the rows for the bright-eyed boy, and finds him in the middle row, standing between two girls, with alex right behind him. they’re both smiling, but sapnap can tell that karl is looking for him, his eyes squinting  just a bit as he tries to see past the bright stage lights. their eyes lock, and karl’s smile gets impossibly brighter. sapnap shoots him a little wave, and karl refocuses on the director as he raises his arms to begin the first song. 

sapnap relaxes into his seat as they start singing, his eyes on karl the entire time. he watches the dimple on his left cheek appear and disappear as karl sings, completely focused. sapnap is mesmerized. he’s seen karl practice before, and he’s even seen him sing with alex and wilbur a couple of times, but he’s never seen karl like this .

the stage lights make karl glow. everything around him seems blurry, like an unfocused camera. sapnap feels like he can only see karl, only watch in awe as his eyebrows shoot up to produce a higher note, as his eyes twinkle and tell the story of the songs, as the corners of his mouth turn up into the most miniscule smile when he sings one of his favorite parts. and in the split second that karl glances away from the director and locks eyes with him, sapnap is captured. 

another place, another grace

will save me

sapnap allows himself to get lost in the oasis that is his beautiful boyfriend, shining like a star. pride swells within him. that beautiful tenor, in the middle row right in front of alex, with floppy brown hair and eyes that sparkle, that gorgeous boy, is his. every ounce of joy the boy brings him feels like a gift, and sapnap truly feels as though he’s been saved, rescued by the love of just one wonderful person. as the rest of the concert flows by, sapnap feels his deep and aching appreciation for karl run through his body, the warm feeling starting in his chest and reaching towards the end of his fingertips, the back of his neck, the tips of his toes. it’s overwhelming, and intoxicating.

the concert is over much too soon, and sapnap says goodbye to the lovely woman he was sitting with as he stands to take his leave. “tell your boy he did wonderfully. i’m sure he’ll love the flowers, dear,” she calls as he leaves. he smiles and waves at her before leaving the room, heading towards the bench on the sidewalk outside of the building. he takes a seat, waiting for karl to come out of the dressing rooms after changing out of his robes. he doesn’t have to wait for long before karl is skidding out of the doorway, eyes frantically searching for sapnap. he beams when his eyes land on the younger brunette, and he charges at him. sapnap barely has time to stand before karl collides with him, squeezing him tightly and whispering, “hey, nick.”

sapnap returns the embrace with matching excitement before pulling away to look at his boy, “you did great!” he exclaims, offering him the bouquet. karl’s eyes widen as he takes it. 

“you got me flowers?” he asks, teary-eyed and voice full of fondness. 

“of course i did, bub. i knew you’d kill it,” sapnap replies, pulling karl closer to kiss his cheek. karl thanks him again, smiling as he laces their fingers together. 

alex and wilbur emerge from the glass doors, chatting amicably, high off of the performance adrenaline. sapnap waves them over, complimenting their hard work and making polite small talk. the group chats for a bit before alex glances at karl and sapnap’s connected hands. 

“karlos,” he says. “get the hell outta here. we’ve seen enough of you, and flower boy here’s probably dying to get you all to himself.” 

sapnap’s face goes red, and wilbur chuckles at his flushed face. “he totally is. just look at him!” he teases, and the group bursts into laughter once again. 

“okay, okay” karl manages to get out. “we’re going now. see you guys on monday.” 

the two pairs wave at each other, splitting off in opposite directions. karl swings his and sapnap’s connected hands between them as they walk. 

“where are we going?” karl asks, his breath barely visible in the chill of the night. 

“our favorite spot,” sapnap replies. “i’ve got a surprise for you.” 

the couple makes quiet chatter as they fall into step on the familiar trail. when they’re a block away from the park, sapnap makes karl close his eyes, leading him the rest of the way.

“are we almost there?” karl asks impatiently. 

“just hold on, nimrod, give me one sec," sapnap chuckles. 

they come to a stop near the swingset, under a large oak tree, and sapnap removes his hands from karl's face. his eyes fly open, and he tears up at the sight in front of him. sapnap has laid out a picnic area for them, complete with fairy lights lining the tree's branches, a basket full of food, and a comfy-looking pile of blankets for them to sit on. there's even a small glass vase with water for karl to place the bouquet in. karl whips around to look at his boyfriend, tears of joy slipping down his cheeks. 

"you did all this for me?" he chokes out, heart soaring. 

"do you like it?" sapnap asks, smiling brightly. 

"like it? i love it, nimrod." 

"i'm glad," sapnap says coolly, "now let's eat."

—

as the boys lay on the blankets, full bellies and full hearts, staring up at the night sky, sapnap's nerves begin to grow once more. karl has his head on sapnap's shoulder, holding his hand and rubbing circles with his thumb. they've been stargazing for what feels like hours, simply enjoying each other's company. the end of the amazing night is drawing near, and sapnap still needs to complete the last step of his master plan. 

he sits up slowly, and karl follows suit, adjusting to face him. "what's up, babe?" he asks. sapnap inhales a shaky breath, and lets it all out. 

"i don't think i've ever told you how much i appreciate you. really, i do, so so much. i was in a weird place before we met, i felt like i didn't really belong anywhere, and i felt isolated and alone. but then you came along, all clumsy and way too pretty for your own good, and i feel like you ... you pulled me out. you took an interest in me like nobody else ever has. you introduced me to your friends, your family, and you made a space for me in your life. you made sure i would fit, and i've never felt so welcomed. so, thanks, bub, for making room for me." 

karl beams, the dimple in his left cheek prominent, and he pulls sapnap into a tight hug. "i'm so glad i ran into you by that vending machine," he drawls. sapnap basks in the sunlight that is karl's smile.

you are the sun, i am the moon

you are the words, i am the tune

play me 

"karl," he breathes. "i love you."

shocked, karl's face flushes, and his grin grows even wider. "i love you too, nick." 

sapnap pulls him into a gentle kiss, savoring his new favorite moment. 

he's finally found his sun.