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Tubbo looks absolutely wrecked.
Ranboo can understand, feeling trapped between two different beliefs, two different train-of-thoughts. After TommyInnit's death, Tubbo was left to wonder what happened. From the doorway, he can see Tubbo sitting on his bed, looking down at his own hands.
Ranboo hadn't been around for long, but he knew that the two had a long history, of being siblings, of being brothers, despite it all. Despite what happened, that was where they started off, and perhaps that's what hurts him the most.
TommyInnit and Tubbo, the inseparable duo...
"Tubbo..." he breathes out, walking into the room.
While memories for him are not easy, he knows that the memory of TommyInnit won't disappear that easily. And the exile, the disappearance, the... murder...
"Oh, hey, Ranboo." Tubbo gives him an uneasy grin. "Just... thinking. I'm alright."
"Just alright?"
He looks down at the ground. "It's... hard to believe that Tommy's dead. I... there's so many things that I wish we could have talked about, if I knew the end was this close."
"Tubbo..."
"But I refuse to..." Tubbo grips his arm tightly. "I refuse to mourn him. I mean, he..." The gears are turning in his head. "He wouldn't want that, right? And it's not like I meant that much to him, right?"
Ranboo knows that isn't true.
Ranboo also knows Tubbo knows that isn't true.
"He thought you were awesome."
Tubbo glances up.
Shit.
"He thought you were awesome!" Ranboo repeats.
"He thought I was awesome. My brother," Tubbo says, deadpan, in disbelief.
"Definitely!"
Ranboo, what are you getting yourself into?
"How?"
"Well..." Ranboo starts, feeling a slight breeze in the room. The cold chill somehow comforts him, as he begins speaking, letting the words flow out as if... as if he knew what he was talking about.
"He said, there's nothing like your smile, you know? It's just subtle, and perfect, and real. Not like people who pretend to smile, yeah?" Ranboo swallows. "And he always thought your smile could make someone feel so, so wonderful."
"How do you..."
Ranboo shakes his head. "I... I've talked to him. Enough to know that..." His mind goes blank, then-- "That you'd scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans when you get bored, and that you still fill out personality quizzes because you enjoy them!"
Do I know that?
But Tubbo grins softly. "... Yeah."
Ranboo glances down.
Sure enough, stars on the cuff of his jeans.
Oh.
Keep going, says a thought in his mind, or at least he thinks it's a thought in his mind. I want him to know, want him to hear...
... Okay.
"He didn't say any of this, though." Ranboo bites his lip. "He left it unsaid, because he didn't know how to talk to you, especially after all these things happened. He couldn't find a way to communicate this to you, but... to me, he told me that..."
Tell him that he meant everything to me, that I loved... that I love him.
Tubbo looks interested, but trying to play it off as mild interest at Ranboo's words. It's... working.
"He told me that you meant everything to him," and it seems like the most genuine words in the world. "That even though you were worlds apart at one point, he wanted to say it, say that you... that he loved you."
Thank you.
"Did he say anything else?"
Ranboo gulps. "Uh, well, um, about you?"
Tubbo flinches. "Never mind, I don't care anyways--"
"No, he!" Ranboo babbles, the words coming out of him, though they're not really quite his anymore, are they? "He said so many things, thought so many things, I'm just trying to come up with the best ones for you, you know?"
"He thought you were pretty cool when you cut your hair." And I think you were really pretty, but that's not really the point here, is it?
"Really?"
"He did!" Ranboo lets out a small laugh. "He always thought you were super cool, Tubbo. He just never really got a chance to say it like he wanted to. And he told me, that even if he had the chance, he wouldn't even know where to start..."
Tubbo frowns. "He just... he was so far away, and there was this widening gap from not seeing him, from not talking to him, that I just always assumed that he was just too far away for me to understand anymore."
Ranboo looks at Tubbo, biting his lip, not knowing what to say.
"It's like I didn't even know him, not near the end," Tubbo manages to make out, gasping as a few tears run down his face.
Ranboo reaches out, and pulls his friend into a hug.
I love you, Tubbo.
He's not sure who's thought it is, or who's the one hugging Tubbo, but maybe it's both of them, acting as one, so that Tubbo can allow himself to grieve.
"He loves you, Tubbo," Ranboo says quietly.
There's a lapse of silence before... "I know," Tubbo sniffs. "... I love him too."
The next day, there's a cobblestone and oak wood grave built with loving hands.