Chapter Text
I was standing. You were there. Two worlds collided. And they could never tear us apart.
The first time James saw Tony Stark after the bunker in Siberia was on TV. It had been 2 months, since the whole disaster, and he still couldn’t sleep properly. He was regretting everything of that day. He didn’t see how they could have changed the outcome, that fight, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t regret it. He could still see himself trying to rip the arc reactor from the suit. And he still couldn’t believe they had left the man, in a dead suit, injured, in the middle of nowhere.
He should have said something, when Steve told T’challa that Tony was “cooling off”. He should have said something when they took off.
He didn’t.
And for 2 days, no words were heard from Tony Stark. And he had thought of the worst. What if they had killed him ? He would had have a hand in the murder of 3 Starks. That was too much for him to bear.
But then, Pepper Potts, the CEO of Stark Industries had released a statement. Tony Stark was alive, and recovering. More would be known later.
The others had laughed. Saying that Stark was probably off being a drama queen, fine and dandy, drinking enough to pickle his liver. He had exchanged a look with Steve, and once again, he regretted not saying anything. Not telling everyone what they had done.
And so, after 2 months, Tony Stark was for the first time seen. And for all of their talk about what a bad man he was, the Rogues were all glued to the screen. He was too. He needed to see Stark. He needed to see if he was fine.
He looked the part. Sporting a fine suit, glasses, and an arm still in a cast. Except that when you looked close enough, like he was trained to do, you would spot the things wrong with him. The heavy makeup, to disguise probably a still bruised skin and to give a better complexion. The suit, surely a bespoke, made to hide the lost weight. The way he held himself, like talking and standing were hurting, particularly his chest. He barely moved at all, as if a wrong move would shatter him. His best friend, Rhodes, was standing right next to him, just in case.
The guilt ate James inside out. He watched the screen, without understanding any of the words coming out of Stark’s mouth. And it was only when Clint opened his mouth, that he blinked and turned around.
- “See ? What was I saying all this time. He is fine.”
James caught Natasha trying to elbow him into silence. But it didn’t work.
- “He is not fine, Barton. He doesn’t look fine.” He said, sharp.
- “Yes he does-”
- “He doesn’t, and you’re a shit spy if you truly believe he does.” He cut him off, almost groaning more than talking, his jaw tight.
- “Bucky, come on..” Steve tried to cut them off.
- “Come on what ?” He turned to look at his “best friend”. “It’s been two fucking months, Steve. Will you finally pull your head out of your ass ?” The russian accent slipped back in, with the rage that consumed him. “He isn’t fine. There’s a reason the screen cut to him talking, he probably can’t walk alone or at all. He put up a shit ton of makeup to hide his face, he lost weight enough that a breeze would knock him out. He’s standing like everything hurts, and it probably does. Because he’s still recovering, for fuck’s sake, because he isn’t fine !”
He shouted at the end, incapable of stopping himself. They all looked at him like gaping fish, except Natasha. The silence between them tense.
- “Recovering from what, exactly ?” Sam said, frowning. “Did Zemo fuck him up ?”
- “We did.” He said, in a harsh voice, a ball caught up in his throat. It wasn’t the “villain” of the story that fucked him up. It was them. Steve would have glared at him, if he was capable of looking angry at his “Bucky”.
- “We didn’t fuck him up. We defended ourselves.” He said, so sure of himself, like he always was.
- “What, against Stark ?” Scott was frowning.
- “Yes.”
They all looked lost. James bowed down his head. Why had he listened to Steve, and not explained everything to them ? Why had he listened to that moron, and not seek out Stark to apologize.
- “I think you should explain, now. What exactly happened, between you and Stark in that bunker.” Natasha said, her voice cutting. He looked up to her. Maybe James could see guilt oozing out of her too. After all, she also fucked up. He wondered if she had regrets about what she did.
- “I… Well, I already told you-”
- “Cut the bullshit, Rogers.” James almost didn’t recognize his own voice, laced with the russian accent coming more and more out. He breathed in, not looking at Steve's shocked face, but focusing on Natasha. At least, she wouldn’t let anything be seen on her face. Maybe James could fight the guilt, while talking to her. “What happened is that Zemo showed me, killing the Starks. Stark was upset, well PTSD will make you upset, and tried to fight me.” The silence was a horrendous one. But now that he had started, he needed to finish. “I don’t think he was out to kill me, because he didn’t use anything lethal on my ass. At first Steve was just trying to help me get out, I think, and I was only trying to escape too.”
Yes, at first, it was only a matter of getting out. He wasn’t doing anything to try and hurt Stark. At first…
- “But then, I think the programming leaked a bit. Wasn’t thinking straight anymore. And Steve was just hitting him, again, and again. And I lost it. I tried to rip out the reactor. He defended himself and blew the arm off.” He shrugged his numb, as if it was testimony. “I was kind of out after that. And when I came, he was about to use his repulsor on Steve. So I grabbed him. And then Steve got the hand up again, and he was on him, and he hit, and hit, and hit again. The mask went flying. And..” He closed his eyes, not wanting to see Natasha anymore. Because even her seemed to have her mask falling off. Even the Black Widow seemed upset by the tale. “And Steve crushed the arc reactor with the shield.” Bucky wished it had only been the reactor that had been hit. But thinking of Stark's way of handling himself, he doubted it. “And we left. We flew off.”
The silence was deafening. It seemed as if even breathing had stopped. And it felt good, for a moment. To finally get that off his chest. But it wasn’t enough for his guilt. He got up, and started to leave the room. He couldn’t stand everyone thinking too loudly. He couldn’t deal with Sam, with Scott looking at him like he was the monster he was. Couldn’t deal with Natasha's sharp gaze judging him. The Witch and Clint bitter smirks at the idea of Stark suffering.
- “Bucky, wait !” Steve said, and didn’t notice James flinching at the name.
- “You left him there ?” Natasha asked, voice cold.
- “He was fine, he was ranting, it was nothing…”
- “You left him in Siberia with a dead suit ?!”
He didn’t hear anything after that, closing the door and speeding up towards Shuri’s lab. She took one look at him and went to open her mouth, but he beat her to it.
- “Put me in cryo, please. I can’t.. I can’t stand it anymore.”
She did. For at least a little bit, he would be at peace then.
It had been after his second attempt at using the BARF technology that he had bothered Shuri enough into telling him who had created it. Because he had caught her re-reading instructions, and it was nothing like Shuri’s tech anyway. He didn’t know the girl for that long, but he could see her signature into almost everything in the lab. The BARF tech wasn’t hers.
He had tried to ask as soon as she talked about it, and she had admitted it wasn’t hers, but refused to tell anything more, and Steve had interrupted everything, so he hadn’t been able to push.
When she told him it was Stark’s, James’s breath got caught in his throat. He didn’t understand anything. It had been 3 months since he had asked for the cryo, and Shuri let him out to get rid of the triggers. What could have happened in 3 months that would have made Stark give him tech to help him ? Answers came flowing but none was too good in his opinion. Had Steve managed to bully Stark into giving it ? Had he sent his spy to talk him into it ? Maybe T’Challa, sick of having them here, forced his hand to maybe cure him and threw them out. And maybe his distress had been visible on his face, after all he started to get more and more human it seemed, and he wasn’t schooling himself most of the time (well at least not with Shuri) to act a certain way, because she quickly stopped his spiraling.
- “Dr Stark gave me the tech specifically to help you. He asked for me not to tell you, but apparently you seemed determined to make me break my promise.” She didn’t look upset. But he was still at loss. “But he probably guessed that would happen, because he sent the instruction and this note with it.”
Barnes,
I’m sorry. About your arm and about that fight, but mostly the arm, since I figure the healing is ancient history for you.
Hope BARF is the solution for getting you free. As for the arm, I sent specs to Shuri, but she’ll probably make something better.
T.S
James blinked, frowned, reread the note 3 times. Stark was sorry ? He had been the one killing his parents, the one fighting him, the one leaving him to die in Siberia, and Stark was the sorry one ? When he finally came to his senses, he looked up to Shuri.
- “Could.. Could you perhaps give me means to contact him ? I.. A mail or..”
- “I can give you his e-mail, yes.” She smiled, something like an all knowing smile, and gave him a piece of paper with Stark’s address on it. But she soon stopped. “But you must promise me not to give it to anyone else on that team of yours.”
- “I promise.” He replied, and looking at the neat scripture on the piece, he sighed. “And I don’t know if that’s my team.” He swallowed, thanked Shuri once more, and left the room. He had some apologizing of his own to do.
James was nervous. So, so nervous. He didn’t remember a time where he had felt like that in years. He was sitting in the lab, because it was the best place to do this. Because Shuri would have probably put the Dora Milaje between him and Steve (and the others). Because in any cases, he never tried to come here and bother James. It had become somewhat of a sanctuary. And today even more.
- “Stop fidgeting, you are making me nervous too.” Shuri muttered, and James tried to stop his hand on the desk from making any more noise.
- “M’not nervous.” He groaned. It was a lie.
James was nervous, because today would be the first time he was going to see Tony Stark after the terrible stand down. In person, of course. He had seen him on television, since that first appearance he had done. And they even had some video-chats, some nights. Because when James had emailed him to apologize, and to thank him, it had started daily exchanges between the two of them. It didn't happen right away, of course. Tony didn’t reply directly to his mail. And when he did, James still spent 2 days to find what to reply too.
But soon enough, he found himself being pen-pal with Tony Stark. And soon enough, Bucky started calling him his friend. At least in his thought. He would say it with confidence : He was friends with Tony Stark. Because once the truly awkward phase of apologies had passed, when the even more awkward phase of Tony asking how Wakanda was for them had passed too, well he found himself exchanging with a truly brilliant and fun person, and James liked him. He liked talking to Tony. Even if he wouldn’t dare say that to anyone.
3 months, they spent talking. 3 months of learning of the other, discovering the other, talking about everything and nothing at the same time.
3 months of seeing Tony get better and better too, in videos and interviews. Bucky doubted that he would ever be the same man than before Siberia, but he was slowly getting better. And Bucky was grateful for that.
3 months since he was avoiding more and more his “team”. He couldn’t stand it like that. He couldn’t stand their jabs, and remarks, and bullshit every once and awhile, when Tony was on screen, or was mentioned, or even unprompted. He couldn’t stand Steve acting like a righteous asshole, thinking he wasn’t in the wrong at all.
After the revelation though, James had seen how it had affected the team. Natasha, like him, wasn’t around this much, and kept even more to herself. Sam and Scott didn’t participate anymore in Stark’s smear-campaign, but they seemed to think Steve was still in the right. Of course, nothing had changed for Clint and Wanda. Sometimes James wondered, what the fuck happened to Clint. They were a team before. And now he seemed so angry all the time…
He was brought out of his thoughts by the noise of steps coming closer and closer. He blinked, and sat straighter, and did his best to ignore Shuri’s snort. Because next thing he knew, the doors slid open, and in front of him was Tony Stark.
James would only admit it to himself, and to Tony, years later, but he stopped breathing, at the vision of a very real, fleshed out Tony, 10 steps from him. Dressed to impress, with what was surely a bespoke suit, shades on his eyes, coiffed hair and hands in his pockets. Confident smirk on his lips. In some ways, it was a good mirror of the first press conference after Siberia. But Tony looked better now. And his smile wasn’t hollow anymore.
And James didn’t know what to do, or say.
- “Dr Stark. It is a pleasure to finally meet you face to face.” Shuri said, stepping to the man and shaking hands with him. And the rest of the world went into motion, just like that. Bucky breathed again.
- “Please, Your Highness, call me Tony.” He winked.
- “Then you will call me Shuri.” She smiled, letting go of his hand, and turning towards James. She mouthed : “ What are you doing ”. He still hadn’t moved.
So he did. He got up, and stepped toward Tony, a funny feeling in his stomach. And it got worse when Tony smiled at him, a wonderful, perfect smile he had seen on their video-conversation, but never in front of him. And just like that, James knew he would do everything for that man.
- “H-Hello Tony.” He smiled, too. Grabbed his hand for a handshake.
- “Hello, James.” He smiled even more at the contact. They both did. And if it lasted a bit too long for a normal handshake, no one said anything, not even Shuri.
They finally let go of each other, and Tony began talking to Shuri, about the arm. Because they were finally here to put it on, and Tony, despite insisting Shuri could do a fine job without him, agreed to come and help. So he was here. Only a handful of people in Wakanda knew of this. Tony Stark was here to put an arm on Bucky Barnes.
James couldn’t help repeating a slightly different version to himself. Tony Stark was here for James.
They jumped right into it. Tony had also asked a doctor to come, Helen Cho, and she said something in a reassuring voice, but James didn’t need it. If Tony made her come here, he trusted her, because he trusted him. It was as simple as that. And soon James was laying onto the cold table, and anxiety started bubbling up, when Tony simply grabbed his hand. Just like that, while he kept talking about the procedure to Shuri and Helen, while manipulating holograms with his other hand.
James knew he was fucked right there and then. So he smiled when Tony looked at him, and everything else was a blur. Some hours later, he had a brand new arm. And everyone pretended to be real busy, because he blinked and everyone was at the other side of the room, except for Tony.
- “Hey.” Tony said, smiling and looking at James again.
- “Hey.” He felt like he had so many things to say. But nothing came out other than, “Thanks.” He blurted out.
- “Thanks ?” Tony raised a brow, still smiling, sitting on a rolly chair.
- “Y-Yeah. For… For the arm and.. For everything.” He couldn’t say thanks enough, in his opinion.
- “Didn’t do much. And certainly not everything.” It felt like teasing, and the smile going with it made butterflies appear in James’s stomach. Even more than before, that is.
- “Kind of did.” He nodded, but tried to match Tony’s smile. “M’glad you came.”
- “Me too.” He looked around. “Will you miss this ?”
- “This ?” He frowned.
- “Yeah. This. Wakanda. When you’ll be back in the States.”
- “Not going to happen anytime soon.” He shrugged.
- “Sooner than you think.” Tony replied, and before James could ask what he meant, he got up. “Anyways, it was very nice but I’ve got to scram.”
- “Already ?” He sounded so eager, he felt the blush creeping up his cheeks in an instant.
- “Yeah. But we’ll see each other soon enough.” That didn’t help the blush.
- “Oh. Okay.” Try to be smooth Barnes, you can do it. “I’ll be glad.” Tony blinked.
- “Mh ? To be back in the States you mean ?”
- “To see you again.” He tried not to clench his fists, in an effort to not appear like a dork incapable of flirting. And he was rewarded by the smallest blush on Tony’s skin.
- “Me too.”
Once again, they shook hands, and James didn’t want to let go. Seemed like for good measure, Tony had used the metal one, and James was amazed by how it felt real. He didn’t listen much as Cho and Tony said their goodbyes to the rest of the team, and in less than 5 minutes they were all out of the door.
- “Watching old people flirt is cringy.” Shuri said, without looking at him, but with a smug smile, once they were alone.
- “Shut up.” He groaned.
Not even the mean remarks of Clint about Tony could tear the smile off his face in the evening. Because when he closed his eyes, he had Tony’s smile in mind and that was enough for him.
James liked Wakanda. It was calm. There was no rush, at least not for him. He could simply enjoy the day. Walk around. Read a book in the sun. Bake a cake. Spend time with friends. There weren’t many friends he wanted to spend time with, though. Scott and Sam were nice, even if they weren’t too close. Natasha was a ghost of the past, and he guessed he was one of hers, but despite it they tried to make a new relationship. It was rocky. Shuri was very nice, but she was still just a kid. A very, very intelligent kid, but still a kid.
Barton was annoying. He was always bitching like a child. About his family that he had left. About his home. Like he hadn’t made a conscious choice. Always bitching about Tony, and how Tony was peacocking and showing off and being a prick. The more time passed, the less Bucky could spend in the same room as him, especially not with a TV lit.
And Steve only saw him as Bucky. Bucky from the 40s, his best bud. (When he remembered, he remembered that even after his first brush with Hydra, Steve hadn’t noticed the shell-shock and the changes in him.) He didn’t understand that Bucky had lived through his 70 years. He didn’t understand he wasn’t the same. And Bucky was tired. He couldn’t even pretend anymore.
It was probably because of the “lack” of friends that he spent his time on his phone. (A Stark-phone, thanks.) And most of it was talking to Tony. Sending dumb gifs to Tony. Calling Tony to hear about his day. Playing games Tony had talked about.
James liked Wakanda, but he regretted the lack of Tony. The man was too busy, with the mess of the Accords, SI, the Avengers to come here. So James had to make without. But he had to admit (in his head, when he was alone, in the dead of night), that he missed the man. He had thought he was subtle.
- “He will not answer my calls.” Natasha’s voice sounded, just behind him, and he blinked. He was truly distracted, if he had not heard coming. He turned his head and watched her take a seat beside him.
- “Who ?”
- “Tony.” The name was so familiar yet so strange, heard out loud. Everyone else here called him “Stark”, except for Shuri since he came. And he didn’t have many conversations with Shuri about Tony. Furthermore, he didn’t understand why Natasha would tell him about that.
- “Uh ?” Was his eloquent response.
- “Tony won’t answer my calls. I was hoping you could… Maybe help me.” She said, not sounding shy but something alike. He frowned. “Oh, don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I know you talk to him almost all the time.”
- “Spying on me, Natalia ?” He muttered, the old name slipping off his lips. He locked his jaw in an attempt to keep cool.
- “Not really. I just heard you once, while getting tea. And it’s that hard to get.” She crossed her arms. “You look happier when he texts you.”
- “It’s none of your business.” He grumbled and started to get up, when she cut him, putting a hand on his arm.
- “James, please.” She looked earnest. “I miss my friend. I’m sorry for my choices. I want to apologize, for real. And I’m asking for your help.”
He could understand where she was coming from. Getting mad at his secret getting out was stupid. She looked honest when she said it had only been discovered in an accident. And of course, a Black Widow would make quick work of his secret, now that he was acting sloppy most of the time.
And Natasha truly looked remorseful for how things had gone between her and Tony, for how she had acted, and for the results. He chewed his cheek.
- “M’not promising anything.” He looked at her. “But I’ll see what I can do.”
- “Thank you.” She squeezed his arm briefly before letting go. “And no one else knows.”
He hadn’t doubted that. No one else seemed to really look at him, not even Steve, and even if, certainly not to the point of discovering his friendship - flirting - with Tony.
- “I know.” He looked at his phone, saw a new message, and looked at her again. She simply smiled, and left the room.
Well if he could try and mend the bridges between an ex friend and a new one, he would. No harm done.
It was on the news first. Broadcasted, apparently, all over the United States, and even a good majority of the world. The Rogues were coming back. And James was dumb-founded in front of the TV.
- “Finally !” Barton said, a big smile on his face.
- “We’re going home.” Steve said, a big dopey smile on his face too. “Tony did it.”
- “Oh so now, it’s Tony mh ?” Natasha said, blinking at him, cold.
She was very cold with Steve, since Tony had accepted a phone call with her after James had explained her demand. James had been distraught to see her eyes red when she had handed him back his phone, and that had been the end of that. But since then, she wouldn’t tolerate comments from the witch or Barton, and avoided them being reunited even more. She sought after James a bit more, and they talked for hours.
- “What ?” Steve said, blinking at her like an idiot. James only sighed and got up, leaving the room for the gardens. If Natasha was in the mood to rip Steve a new one, James didn’t want to get caught in it.
Once he was seated in a corner, almost hiding, he took out his phone and called Tony. Despite the late hour in the US, he responded at the third ring.
- “I’m sorry, James, I wanted to tell your first-”
- “So it’s true ?” He cut him off. A small silence was heard, before a long sigh.
- “Yeah. I.. It’s only been signed. Nothing was sure before, so I didn’t want to make you false hopes, but it leaked and..”
- “Don’t care about that.” He said, in a gruff voice. “Thank you, Tony. I know you’re the person behind all of this.”
- “Well I helped.” James chuckled. He doubted anyone else besides lawyers had any real hands in it. “So.. Mh. Excited to be back home ?”
- “Excited to be able to see you.” The words came out almost without his own accord. He blushed and was glad it wasn’t a video call.
- “Me too.” Was a soft answer that helped James’s heart settle nicely back in his chest.
- “You should go to sleep, doll.” The nickname rolled off his tongue.
- “Yeah yeah, don’t worry. I’ll call you later okay ? And… Try to avoid the TV a bit. They might go crazy.”
- “Don’t worry ‘bout me.”
- “Sure thing, Sugarplum.” James actually found himself blushing at the nickname. The line went dead, and he looked at his phone.
James was going to miss Wakanda. Going to miss the calm, the peace it had brought him. Going to miss Shuri, T’Challa, Okoye and the rest of the Dora Milaje. Going to miss the stunning landscapes and the sun.
James was going to be able to see Tony though. And the thought made him smile like a lunatic.
He did avoid TV that night. The others did not. Natasha found him and told him Barton had broken the screen after another host calling them terrorists and wondering if it was the right decision. It didn’t put a damper on his mood. They even toasted, just the two of them, alone in the night. The vodka had no hand in making him feel warm. The thought of Tony’s smile did all the job.
James quickly found that the best strategy to avoid talking in the plane ( loaned by T’Challa ) was to sit in the cockpit with Natasha, and pretend to be asleep if anyone came by. He didn’t feel in any mood to talk.
He was nervous. For weeks, since it had been official they were coming home, Tony had his free time reduced to almost zero. Long hours on the phone had disappeared, texting was reduced to a minimum. What if now that James was going to be back, Tony didn’t want him to be ?
- “You should relax, you know. I can almost hear your teeth grinding, it’s not agreeable.”
He grunted, and opened an eye.
- “M’not nervous.”
- “Good. Because you have no reasons to be.” She wasn’t even looking at him while talking, but a very small smile was on her lips.
- “You’re not ?” He asked, after a while, in a small voice.
- “I have more reasons to be.” She stopped smiling. “But I try not to be. It’s out of my hands, now anyway.”
He pondered her words. Was his situation similar ? Was the situation out of his hands ? He didn’t think so. In those long weeks, he had tried to form a battle plan. Even if it was the most silly thing he had even came up with. He had hesitated, so much. Was this a good idea ? Him, and Tony Stark. With that much history, it probably meant they were doomed from the start. Maybe he should let the man be. Forget his stupid crush. The flirting. Everything that had gone on between them during those long months in Wakanda.
- “I said you should relax, not tense more.” She frowned. “What’s going on ?”
- “I-” He tried to take a deep breath. “I don’t know if what’s going on between me and Tony is really a good idea.”
- “Don’t see why not.”
- “Natasha…”
- “I said what I said. Why wouldn’t it be a good idea ? I think it is. You’re good for each other. I see it. It would be a dumb thing to keep yourself from being happy because of the past.”
- “Yeah, well when are you taking your own advice uh ?” He snapped, before feeling like an asshole.
- “I already did. I apologized to him. I’m trying to put things back together.” She was sereine. “I know I won’t get my family back. Even if now I realize it never was truly a family. But I can get my friend back.” She paused, looked at him briefly. “If I let myself think “it’s not a good idea”, because I could hurt him more, or because I already did so much, I won’t give myself a chance to see what good I can bring him, or what good he could bring me.” She bit her lip. “Plus, I think he deserves the choice to decide. If he wants to forgive. If he wants to have us in his life.”
He blinked, looked at his phone, where he had put Tony as a background like a 5th grader with a crush, and swallowed. He tried to imagine the situation from Tony’s perspective, or what he would do if Tony suddenly said “sorry, but maybe not”, right now. The idea was upsetting.
- “You’re right.” He grunted. She only smiled.
The rest of the trip was spent in a comforting silence. After a bit of hesitation, he finally sent a small “Almost there, can’t wait to see you”, to Tony.
It was met with a “Me neither * kiss emoji *”. Who knew Tony Stark was the emoji kind of guy ? When they landed in the small landing strip behind the compound, he took a deep breath.
- “C’mon Bucky !” Steve was heard, bright and cheery.
It made his skin crawl. If he was happy to see Tony, he didn’t want to think what it would mean for Tony to see Steve again. The man had not even apologized to Tony about anything. But Natasha clapped his shoulder, and with that, they all trickled out of the plane.
There was somewhat of a welcoming committee there. The new team of Avengers, with the Wasp, War Machine, and Captain Marvel were all at Tony’s side, in a line. A photographer and some officials, James had to guess, were watching them like hawkes.
James wished he could say that the tension was gone in an instant. That everything was right again, and they all talked and hugged and it was fine. But it would have been lying. No one dared moving, and they seemed to all be judging and measuring the opponents. Except him. Because he only had eyes for Tony.
Standing there, in his best suit, glasses on his eyes, hands in his pockets. But James knew he was watching him. He felt it. Tony was waiting. He raised his hands, and lowered his glasses, and true to what James had thought, Tony was watching him. So he did the first move, and took a step. But Steve quickly put a hand on his shoulder, and shook his head. And even from here, he could see the hurt in Tony’s face.
But it was already over now. Like Natasha had said. It was out of their hands. And the moment James had looked into Tony’s eyes, standing there, waiting, it had been over. Even from the moment they had seen each other in Wakanda. Or maybe even the moment he had seen Tony at that press conference on TV.
Nothing could make him let go of this. Nothing could tear him from this.
So he shook Steve’s hand, and walked up to Tony. And smiled. And it felt like he hadn’t never smiled like that in his life before.
- “Hey.”
- “Hey.” Tony answered, with a smile so bright it rivaled the sun.
Just like that, everything else went away. Just like that, Tony was the only thing that mattered. Almost shily, he took the genius’s hand and felt himself smile perhaps even more when Tony squeezed his in response.
- “Room tour ?” He asked.
- “Yes please.”
He didn’t look back, as Tony took him inside the compound. Didn’t even blinked as Steve almost yelled a very dramatic “Bucky !”. Truly, he didn’t even remember it.
Because Tony took him to the workshop, and without letting go, stood there, watching him. Like he was memorizing James’s face. And it wasn’t a bad thing, since James was doing the same.
James opened his mouth, to say something. But since that first e-mail, it had only been words between them. And maybe, they had enough of that for the moment. Maybe it was time to act. So without thinking, he put his free hand gently on Tony’s cheek, tilting his head slightly. He smiled, and Tony smiled too, and they both leaned in for a kiss.
The most sweet, soft, tender of kisses. Full on intent, full of passion, yet slow and everything in James melted. If he could, he would have offered everything he was, his heart, his mind to Tony. He wanted it to last forever, couldn’t get enough of Tony’s taste, of his lips, of him. But after what seemed like a second and an eternity, they both broke apart. He tightened without thinking his grip on Tony’s hand, and rested his forehead against his.
They didn’t need words, not right now. Maybe later, they would need to talk, to tell everything they were thinking, to put feelings into something more concrete, and surely (sadly), talk to others. But right now, they were just enjoying each other. Basking in the other's presence. His smell. His warmth.
But right now, they just needed each other. And James knew one thing for certain. He would never let go of Tony Stark, as long as Tony would keep him.