Work Text:
One step closer
Would you pull me in
Think we both know how to stop my dreaming
I've been waiting for you my whole life
It’s difficult, Ganyu thinks, to possess so many inclinations of desires in her head without the means to obtain them.
How many months have gone by now? It wasn’t always like this; as in, there wasn’t always somebody to care about.
She’s new to these kinds of relationships. In some ways, Ganyu feels just as clueless as Xiao - neither of them are particularly any good with words and they often find themselves stumbling through interactions. But regardless of how clumsy their newfound friendship may be, none of the awkwardness does any good in preventing her from reminiscing about him in that way.
When a day will be more demanding than usual and Ganyu has to physically fight to stay awake, she’ll think of him and the way his mouth will tug upwards over a cheeky comment she made. And sometimes, if she allows herself to indulge in more... ambitious thoughts, she’ll close her eyes and recall his fingers grasping hers on a particularly cold day even when she assures him her Qilin side is not affected by the weather.
Or even the way Xiao will watch her with those piercing eyes as she drags her hand across his chest and to the high line of his collar to fix the beaded necklace around his neck. But the best part?
Xiao actually lets her touch him, lets her trace the inner scars of his soul. It’s mind blowing, the progress they’ve made. Perhaps this is why she has decided to finally go through with her desires and confront him head on.
You see, Ganyu doesn’t have a confession or some kind of drastic speech to make - what she wants is far bolder than spilling out one’s feelings.
Ganyu wants to kiss him.
Well, she wants a bit more than that to say the least. She simply cannot help herself. Xiao is just so...so handsome . She can recall perfectly the first time she saw him a few thousand years ago - towards the bitter end of the Archon War.
The evil spirits plaguing the land began to dwindle in numbers and for the first time in centuries, hope was beginning to spread. There wouldn’t always be a war to claim millions of lives. She remembers standing there, amongst the old faces of those who no longer walk this earth and the few who do happen to be alive, her bow slung across her shoulder and her heart heavy from the spilt blood.
In front of the group stands Rex Lapis, his back turned as he speaks to a strange young man she’s never seen before with cropped, jet black hair and a weary countenance. At first glance, the stranger’s figure seems to possess an exotic, unearthly appearance and Ganyu can almost relive the feelings of curiosity she felt when studying him. Unlike most adepti who steer clear from adorning themselves with trinkets and personalized looks, the young man did not seem to share the same sentiment whatsoever.
Accompanied with a fierce polearm, the stranger wore a beaded necklace clasped in the middle with a large tooth as well as a decorated sleeve and a bizarre canister tied to his side. Her eyes trail up the curved lines of his tattoo, observing the lines of green in his hair before coming back down to rest on his eyes.
Those eyes, the yellow curvatures of his pupils remind her of a cat’s eyes in the way they narrow when hunting for a meal.
“His name is Xiao,” Cloud Retainer says as she sidles up to her, no doubt noticing Ganyu’s long standing stare. “He has been aiding the adeptus near the Stone Forest.”
“I’ve never seen him before, what land is he native to?”
Cloud Retainer shakes her head, “We do not know from where he has come, only that Morax has deemed him a valuable ally.”
And then as if on cue, Rex Lapis turns to address the crowd and the young man, Xiao is his name, steps past the Geo Archon and cuts directly through the group Ganyu stands among.
She remembers the second his eyes met hers, his gaze flicking downwards as he scrutinizes her figure. And behind those yellow orbs, Ganyu beholds immeasurable suffering she has never seen in any person before - recognizes something downright sinister that follows his every step. A chill passes through her the longer she stares and Ganyu’s eyes dart away, the moment broken. Xiao walks past her, not even bothering to address nor look at any of the fellow adepti.
But he had noticed her.
Maybe even then from the span of a thousand of years, they were meant to become friends. Perhaps there is a chance they can even become -
“Ganyu?”
The Tianquan approaches the young Qilin’s work space where multiple books and scrolls sit atop the desk, the folds hanging dangerously close to the edge. Ningguang delicately moves one of the larger stacks to a safer location, alerting Ganyu of her presence.
“Ah! Lady Ningguang!” Ganyu lifts her head above the stockpile of papers, doing her best to wipe the dreamy look off her face. “I’m just about to run those documents to the west shipyard.”
“I was also hoping you might be able to take this letter over to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor? It’s not urgent, just please have it delivered by the end of the day.” Ningguang slides a pressed envelope across the cluttered space.
Ganyu nods eagerly, “Of course!”
“Thank you. And please, don’t forget to take a break.”
Watching until Ningguang’s figure slips out of view, Ganyu falls back into her chair with a flourish, her tired joints sinking into the upholstery. She sits there for a moment, processing what time might be the most ideal to run down to the funeral parlor amidst her busy schedule.
And then, as Ganyu stares at the letter from the corner of her eye, a rather sneaky idea blossoms - an idea that sends the blood rushing to her cheeks and her heart racing. It just so happens that the location where Ningguang’s letter must be delivered occupies the least busy corner of the city.
In fact, despite the parlor joining one of the busiest streets - Ganyu cannot remember the last time she saw someone who didn’t look like a worker linger in the small courtyard. After all, nobody visits a funeral parlor without a reason and an unfortunate one at that.
Delivering the letter might be enough of an excuse to give her a small window of time to accomplish a certain something.
Ganyu smiles to herself. She has a plan.
“Is this not that strange funeral parlor?” Xiao asks, craning his head around the pebbled plaza for a better view. “I know a peculiar young lady who works here…”
“Yes, it is indeed the place,” Ganyu replies, doing her best to motion him in the direction away from the street crawling with people and toward somewhere quiet - such as the convenient deserted alleyway to their left.
Why did she think calling him to the city in the middle of the afternoon was a good idea? If by chance, something does happen to him, it will be all her fault and she will have nobody to blame but the selfish thoughts in the back of her mind. He’s gotten more sociable - not that Xiao will ever admit it of course, but she’s noticed that with her in his company, they will often spend more time lingering around the quiet parts of the city.
Even so, Ganyu doesn’t want to take the chance (disregarding the fact it was her impatience that led them here) and she tugs on his arm softly in an attempt to pry his attention away from the street. But Xiao remains motionless, his gaze seemingly focused on the bustling flow of people returning to work under the lazy afternoon heat.
His back is to her, blocking his face from view and subsequently his eyes; she realizes she has no idea what he may be feeling or if her summoning might have irritated him.
“Xiao…?”
He half turns at the sound of his name and she takes the opportunity to drag him further into the direction of the alley before anyone can spot him. Her hands find his face and she pulls him closer, fingertips urgently skimming his cheeks as she scrutinizes him for any signs of distress. Xiao simply looks down at her with an amused expression, his eyes a beautiful shade of glistening yellow.
Oh...so he’s alright then.
“Why are you looking at me like that? Like I’m going to collapse in front of you,” He remarks, scooping her hands from his face and holding them close to his chest instead.
“N-no reason at all!” Ganyu replies a little too quickly. It’s not as if she was having an internal fit of panic over his wellbeing or anything.
Xiao raises an eyebrow at her, a look of mirth still on his face. “No reason at all? Surely you must have called me for some purpose.”
“Oh, well there is! I hope I’m not disturbing you or anything because -”
Xiao cuts her off, giving her enveloped hands a tight squeeze. “Ganyu, you’re not a bother - so don’t even begin with that.”
Her eyes widen in surprise at the magnitude of his words and she involuntarily takes a step backwards. Ganyu would have fallen over, tripping on her own heel like an idiot, if it were not for his steady grip keeping her anchored to his chest.
He’s never said anything quite like that to her before.
“Ah...then I will get straight to the point.” She gently releases herself from his grasp, her face turning a bright shade of red from the emotions pouring through her. “Xiao, there’s something I’d like to ask you to do.”
“Hm?” His expression immediately softens as his eyes meet hers. “What can I help you with?”
She falters for a second at how quickly Xiao seems to offer his assistance, wondering briefly if he acts this way around others or if the concept of helping her isn’t all that bad to him. “I...this is going to sound strange, but I need you to close your eyes.”
This time, it’s Xiao who hesitates as he takes a good three seconds before recollecting himself. He folds his arms across his chest, a slight smirk playing across his lips. “And why would I do that?”
“Hm, because I asked you to?” Ganyu shrugs playfully. “And because you know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”
Xiao sighs deeply. “This is not part of some childish game?”
“No, of course not.” At least, Ganyu hopes he won’t consider it to be.
“And do I get anything in return?”
Ganyu shrugs again, flipping her long hair shamelessly over her shoulder in an outright flirtatious manner and enjoying the way his eyes hone in on her bare shoulder. She smiles sweetly at him. “Maybe, you’ll just have to see.”
“Very well then,” Xiao says, this time sighing with his whole body and leaning backwards with a resolved air as he shuts his eyes.
Tip-toeing until she stands inches from him, Ganyu gingerly places her left hand over his eyes. “Hey, now! I thought you trusted me!” She cries when he promptly begins to move her hand away.
“Of course I do,” Xiao replies with a huff. “I just don’t see the reason for covering my eyes when they are already closed.”
Ganyu gasps, boxing him lightly on the shoulder with her free arm. “Cheeky boy, it’s to stop you from peeking.”
He shakes his head, a smile ghosting his lips as he drops his hands to his side. “Carry on.”
She takes another small step forward until she can feel her chest graze his necklace. And with her heart pounding in her ears, her left hand still covering his eyes, Ganyu takes the plunge into the unknown. She grasps his chin gently with her index finger (feeling immense relief he doesn’t flinch at her touch) and angles his mouth to hers.
Ganyu kisses him slowly then, giving him time to become aware of her intentions as her mouth teases his bottom lip. For a moment, she's swept away at how unbelievably soft Xiao’s lips are and her heart swells - it’s as if the feeling of euphoria from finally kissing him has carried her body high above the heavens.
She opens her mouth a little wider to deepen the kiss, her finger still grasping his chin. Xiao sucks in a breath, breaking her trance as she begins to notice how stiff he has become. She abruptly moves to pull away but is stopped by a gloved hand on her wrist, her eyes jerking upwards to meet his gaze.
Oh, she’s really messed up now.
There were three things Xiao did not expect.
The first began when Ganyu called him on a Tuesday - a day they’ve never met up on before mainly due to the secretary’s overflowing workload. He comes regardless, figuring it must be important for her to seek him out on a busy day.
The second begins when Ganyu’s small hands wrap around his face and he glimpses a flash of pure determination in her eyes, a fiery look unfamiliar to her usual timid persona. To say the least, Xiao is intrigued on where this visit is going. But nothing could have prepared him for the third.
“I...this is going to sound strange, but I need you to close your eyes,” She says to him after nearly falling backwards.
Wait...she wants him to close his eyes? What in Archon’s name for?
Xiao stares at her, finding he simply has no idea what to say. He wonders irritably why it is only around her that he finds himself stumbling over words like a little child learning to speak.
If he obtained the willpower to resist her charm months ago (which he doesn’t have) then Xiao would have felt just a twinge of guiltiness for turning her down. He is over six thousand years old. He does not partake in silly, childish notations but since Xiao knows he will be unable to refuse her no matter how hard he fights against it, he resolves to stall as much as possible before giving in like the fool he is.
He folds his arms across his chest, feeling his mouth twitch upwards as he gives Ganyu what he hopes is an amused look. “And why would I do that?”
“Hm, because I asked you to?” Ganyu shrugs lightly, her eyes flashing at his expression. “And because you know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.”
While Xiao knows this to be true, her answer does not fully reassure him of her intentions. “This is not part of some childish game?”
Her eyebrows furrow at his question. “No, of course not.”
“And do I get anything in return?” He asks slyly, feeling his smirk growing larger by the second at their banter.
Ganyu shrugs again, flipping her long ponytail over her shoulder in one swift move, revealing the soft skin above her collared shirt. “Maybe, you’ll just have to see.”
Xiao sighs deeply, bracing himself inwardly for whatever it is she’s concocted. “Very well then.”
What he doesn’t expect is for her hand to cover his eyes and he immediately moves to brush it aside. What on earth is she playing at?
“Hey, now! I thought you trusted me!” She cries out, quickly replacing her hold over his face.
“Of course I do,” Xiao answers truthfully. “I just don’t see the reason for covering my eyes when they are already closed.”
He can hear a sharp gasp emitting from her mouth followed by a soft punch to his shoulder. “Cheeky boy, it’s to stop you from peeking.”
Xiao shakes his head at her, a smile ghosting his lips as he reluctantly drops his hands to his side. “Carry on.”
And Xiao stands there, feeling both curious and foolish all at the same time.
He’s about to ask her another pointless question when he suddenly feels a familiar warmth in front of him, her soft chest skimming his own. She’s close, almost too close and Xiao can smell her usual fragrance of jasmine, the words all but drying up on his tongue.
A finger grasps his chin, angling him slightly - sending all the internal alarms of his mind ringing at once.
Get away, get away, get away. Don’t let her do it, don’t let her get close. You know what happens when -
But Xiao pushes the warnings back, the curiosity winning against his own subconscious. He wants to know what she’ll do, wants to find out how far she’s willing to push him.
His lips begin to part on their own accord as if he is subconsciously aware of what she’s about to do.
She kisses him, her lips brushing his mouth in a feather like touch that sends his heart sputtering in his chest. Every nerve in his body screams to pull away and he begins to seriously consider that he has made a huge mistake in allowing her to continue this far when all of a sudden - Ganyu places her full mouth against his own, her hand grasping the side of his face as she tugs him closer still.
The first thing Xiao becomes aware of is how quiet his mind has become. He cannot hear a single ominous voice in his head. There’s only her lips against his and nothing else; just that sweet, sweet sensation of relief and peace.
The second thing Xiao notices is how downright good it feels - something he never thought he would confirm to himself. Oh, he really is a fool. A damned, stupid fool. But while Xiao stands there like an idiot lost among his own swirling thoughts, forgetting he should probably say something , she swiftly pulls back, her mouth leaving his.
All at once, the emptiness of his head is once again replaced with the bitter voices of the dead and he reels, struggling to catch his breath. He’s not sure what possesses him to do so but his hand reaches out on its own accord to grab her wrist, stopping her from going too far.
Don’t leave, please.
His eyes meet hers, yellow clashing with purple.
There are a million different things Xiao wants to say to her. It’s not as if he's never thought about it - what it would be like to allow himself the pleasure of becoming intimate with someone. He’s never kissed anyone in his six thousand years of being alive, never even allowed himself the chance.
The last time he cared for someone...those were the darkest years of his life - moments he is unable to escape from even thousands of years later.
Xiao looks at Ganyu, really looks at her and the way her pensive face is drawn as she waits for him to say something. He’d be lying if he said she wasn’t beautiful - because that’s exactly what she is - both inside and out. The way her bangs sweep across her forehead, her lithe figure that radiates femininity and power.
Ganyu doesn’t realize it, the ethereal beauty she holds or the stares she receives when walking down the street. Yet here she is, kissing him instead of some other mortal, giving him the time of her day which he knows is precious.
He’s already a fool for allowing himself a taste of her kindness, already fallen so far under that he knows there’s no going back - and there’s not a single part of him that wishes to be anywhere else right now. Xiao brushes back those soft purple strands, tucking them behind her ear and coming to grasp her small face.
“Close your eyes,” He tells her.
He watches her bite back a smile as she shuts her eyes, any traces of remaining anxiety vanishing from her face. And Xiao kisses her back. She makes a soft sound in her throat, the noise sending butterflies racing down his spine.
It’s awkward at first - he has no idea what or how to initiate such a human gesture but she responds eagerly, matching his pace and allowing him to get used to the feeling. Her plump lips match his own in such a way that he wonders if they were always meant to come together like this.
His hands find themselves grasping her hips as his back simultaneously hits the wall - Ganyu has quickened the pace, pushing up against him in a single movement. These feelings of excitement, Xiao has never felt them before as their mouths move together as one.
They both pull back at the same time with a gasp and Xiao notices how quick their breathing has become, but he doesn’t release his grip and neither does she.
“How long have you been wanting to do that?” He asks, his voice barely above a hushed whisper.
“Hmm,” Ganyu hums, tapping her fingers methodically against his chest. “A few thousand years.”
Xiao cannot help himself - he laughs aloud - the sound of his laughter startling both himself and Ganyu.
“That is a very, very long time to wish for something like that,” He remarks.
“I’d say it was worth it, wouldn’t you?”
Xiao looks fondly at her, taking in the way her eyes are glowing and her hair slightly ruffled, a faint pinkness tinged on her normally white cheeks.
He can’t lie to her.
Frankly, he doesn’t want to.
“It was,” Xiao says, and he kisses her again.
So this is what happiness feels like.