Chapter Text
Craig steps into the Pub, putting a wedge between himself and the cold Colorado night. He begins to unravel his scarf as he takes a few steps forward, glancing around in an attempt to find his date. He does not know why he agreed to a blind date; he’s only been one in the past, and it went terribly.
Well, he does know — he wants Clyde to shut up.
Clyde said to look out for a redhead, and in his glance around, he spots a familiar face. Instead of questioning it, he heads towards him — glancing around for another redhead as he passes through the pub however he fails to find one.
The familiar face catches his eye as he walks over, throwing up a wave with furrowed eyebrows.
“Hey Red,” he calls out as he reels in closer. “What a small world we live in.”
Kyle nods, eyebrows still furrowed. “Uh, yeah. What are you doing here?” Kyle cocks his head.
Craig glances around the pub once more, yet again failing to spot red hair. He faces Kyle and sighs. “Appeasing Clyde. How about you?” he glances at him, up and down, noticing he looks more a little more well-kept than usual; at least his hair.
Kyle squints his eyes. “Appeasing Stan… Are you on a blind date?”
“Um. Yeah?”
“Goddammit,” Kyle shakes his head, pulling out his phone with a scowl.
Craig watches him with furrowed brows — about to ask what possibly pissed him off now when it dawns on him. “Let me guess. You’re also on a blind date.”
Kyle rolls his eyes up to him with his lips pressed into a straight line and eyebrows low. “Yup. And he is tall with black hair,” Kyle offers a tight smile.
Craig shakes his head in exasperation before peering around the Pub. He spots a few who match Kyle’s description, but none appear to be waiting on a date. He rolls his eyes to the ceiling before taking a seat across Kyle.
“I need a drink,” Craig declares, eyeing around for the waiter, and frowning when he does not spot her.
“Just to clarify: we both know this is not a date, right?”
Craig shifts his eyes onto Kyle, analyzing him. Does he think he is stupid enough to believe this a real date?
“Wow, heartbreaking. Here I was thinking we were boyfriends now.”
Kyle’s brows sink lower as he scowls at him. “I’m just making sure. I don’t want any confusion between us.”
“Communication is key in a relationship,” Craig smirks at him, setting his clasped hands on the table.
Kyle rolls his eyes away as he lets out a huff. “I can’t believe I agreed to do this. I didn’t even want to come in the first place. I have an Organic Chemistry exam on Wednesday I could be studying for.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t want to do this either. Clyde told me he would leave me alone about my dating life, though, if I did,”
Kyle’s eyes shift to his as he releases a sigh, rolling his shoulders back. “That’s sort of why I agreed to it, too,” Kyle’s eyes fall to the table; his voice becoming tenser. “Stan has this warped view of reality where in order to be happy you need to be in a relationship,” Kyle’s eyes meet his. He clicks his tongue and shakes his head. “I don’t even have time for one though; it would just be more stress than anything? At least that’s how it’s been with every relationship I’ve been in through college…”
Just as Craig is about to respond, the waitress arrives. Craig asks for a Mai Tai while Kyle places an order for another Moscow Mule. After the waitress leaves, Craig gives Kyle his attention once more, pursing his lips.
He does not remember Kyle being in any long term or serious relationship before; always seeming overall uninterested in it all. “Clyde thinks I’ve been in a bad mood lately and he claims that I’m happier when cuffed.”
“I can see how that’s true.”
“Fuck off,” Craig says, “I didn’t judge you for your shit.”
“Yeah, guess you’re right. I take back my judgment,” Kyle holds up his hand. “We are both the victims of horrible friends.”
“I would toast to that if I had my drink,”
Kyle lifts his drink and nods, “I’ll take a drink for you.”
He watches as he take two sips, and then his eyes flutter down to his Adam’s apple. It is not that he does not find Kyle attractive. He has probably had fleeting moments of desire for him in the past, but none of it really meant anything. He never attempted to make any moves, or even considered to. They were in the same friend group — a friend group that already consisted of one of his ex-boyfriends. He didn’t wanted to complicate it more.
Their waitress drops off their drinks and takes Kyle’s old one. Craig immediately grabs for his and takes a long sip.
“How long has Clyde been bugging you for?” Kyle asks him before approaching his drink.
Craig ponders. He does not really know. He takes another sip from his straw as he thinks and eyes the ceiling. “Maybe a month, or so?”
Kyle begins to stir his drink with his straw, pursing his lips. “Stan has been bugging me for the last three.”
“Jeez. How have you not decked him yet?”
Kyle shakes his head, taking a sip of his drink. He offers a small hum of consideration. “I’ve thought about it,” he picks his head up with a tight smile. “Maybe I will after this stunt.”
Craig offers a small puff of laughter. “I definitely plan on kicking Clyde’s ass… but if I’m being honest. I’m kind of glad it’s you — I hate doing that stupid, first date, small talk bull shit.”
“You don’t think Clyde’s going to try to force you on another blind date after we tell them this one was a failure?”
Craig frowns, rolling his eyes away. “Fuck. Yeah… you’re right,” he shakes his head. “This is never gonna end. I’m gonna have to move out.”
“Why don’t you just … date someone so Clyde backs off? You never seem to have struggled with getting your dates before,”
Craig snaps his eyes back to the amber ones that are pointed at him. “I still don’t have trouble.”
Kyle smirks, “okay, cocky, then why do you need to be set up on a blind date?”
“I’m tired of dating. I need a break from it… Clyde just thinks that I’m like,” he rolls his eyes, biting down on his lip as he stares at the table. He does not know why he is even sharing this information. He will not. “It doesn’t matter. Point is, I want to be single, and I think my opinion is more important than Clyde’s on the matter, but he knows no boundaries.”
Kyle smacks his lips together, puffing out his cheeks before he releases a breath. “I feel you there… Stan’s the same…,” Kyle’s gaze lingers on the table. “I think he’s worried that I’ll look back at my college years and somehow regret prioritizing school. I used to be a little wilder in high school, I guess, but college takes a lot more effort than high school.”
“When you get a football scholarship, I don’t think grades count that much,”
“Don’t be a dick,”
“I was talking about Clyde. It’s on you if your mind went to Stan,”
Kyle rolls his eyes, but smiles. “Well, we were talking about Stan, so I think it’d be safe to assume you were referring to him.”
Craig shrugs. “What are you going to say to him when you get back? You think he’ll stop, now that you’ve put yourself out there?”
“Mm, I don’t know. Maybe,” Kyle says. “Probably not though — considering we didn’t treat this as an actual date.”
“We could tell them we did — pretend that we talked about all that bull shit that you talk about on first dates, and then came to the conclusion that we are not compatible.”
Kyle slowly nods and squints his gaze at nothing in particular. He pushes a few red curls behind his ear and scratches his cheek thereafter. “We could,” Kyle nods, voice smaller than normal. “Or,” — he connects their gaze — “we could pretend that it went really well and that we’re planning to go on a second one,”
Craig furrows his brows, tilting his chin down as he inspects Kyle. “What? Why would we say that?”
“Think about it,” Kyle throws a hand out in gesture, “we tell them we are going on a second date — they don’t bug us to go on some date with someone else. Both of us don’t want to be tied to a relationship, but have horrible, annoying friends.”
Craig squints his eyes, thinking it over. “I mean… it could work,” he declares. “But what about after the second date? Don’t you think they will just continue to try and set us up?”
Kyle bites his lip, nodding. He brings a hand to his chin as he thinks. “Yeah… Yeah, you’re right. We could just… keep it going,” he shrugs, connecting his eyes to Craig’s. “Pretend we are dating — in a relationship when the time comes.”
Craig’s eyes widen as he processes what Kyle says. Pretend they are in a relationship. That seems pretty … intense. However, it would free him of Clyde’s incessant meddling. “That seems like it would be a lot to pull off.”
“It’s just an idea,” Kyle shrugs one shoulder; eyes flickering to his glass as he picks it up. “I know I’m not looking for an actual relationship anytime soon, and if you really want one, then we just, break up,”
It seems like a foolproof plan, but yet, Craig’s gut advises him against it. “What if one of us wants to sleep with someone else?”
Kyle’s eyes dance around the room quickly. “I don’t think that would be a problem. As long as you make sure no one sees you… otherwise it would probably look like you were cheating, which would probably cause drama, but… I mean we wouldn’t actually be committed to one another. You could do whatever you wanted.”
Craig stares. He can hardly register what he is hearing. The idea seems so ludicrous. The whole thing seems ludicrous. “So basically… we are each other’s beards? But instead of it being a gay thing, it’s just so our friends will fuck off?”
“Exactly.”
Craig squints at Kyle. He rubs the back of his neck. “Uh, I’ll have to think about it… for now… we can just say the date went well, and we have another one planned.”
“Perfect,” Kyle nods, a smile eliciting. “No one jumps into relationship labels that fast anyways.”
“So. What do we say? We hit it off? Did we do anything? We should be sure to have the same story,”
“Do you usually do anything on the first date?” Kyle dips his chin down, giving him a pointed stare.
“It depends…” Craig shrugs, eyes flickering away. He lifts his gaze back to Kyle. “Let’s just say we made out. It seems realistic. We knew each other before tonight.”
“Okay… sure. We made out. And we will just say… we talked about…,” Kyle’s eyes dance around the bar as he huffs out a breath. “I don’t know. What are you interested in?”
“Space?”
“Alright, we talked about space,” Kyle nods; something manic glinting in his amber eyes, “And like our majors and college, and stuff. You told me about your film classes, and I told you about my biology classes.”
“Sure. I’m still going to say we talked about how dumb our friends are though,”
“Yeah, well,” Kyle tilts his head, “it’s good to stick to the truth.”
Craig squints at him, eyeing him up and down; noticing how his fingers are tapping against his glass and the strange vibration that has overtaken his body. “Are you going to be fine lying to Stan like this?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You just seem… nervous.”
“I just have to make sure he believes me, but I don’t think it will be that difficult.”
“Haven’t you been best friends since like… preschool?”
“Haven’t you been friends with Clyde for a long time?” Kyle counters.
“Clyde is easily the most gullible person I’ve ever met,” Craig scoffs. “I could tell him I saw a flying pig, and he’d believe me.”
“Okay… well, Stan likes to hear good news. He believes what he wants to believe, and he wants me to be happy, and in a relationship, so I think it will be fine.”
“Whatever you say Red.”
“Just text me after you tell Clyde,” Kyle requests. “To tell me how it goes.”
“You’re already gonna be this needy after our first date?” Craig raises his eyebrows. “I might have to reconsider on that second.”
Kyle exhales sharply through his nose, unimpressed. “Just text me,” he says.
“Fine,” Craig puts a hand up in defeat, grabbing his drink again to take a sip. “I’ll text you.”
“Great!” Kyle raises a smile in approval. “We should probably stay here a little longer, though, if we actually want to give off the impression that it went well.”
“Whatever you say Red,” Craig says again, taking another sip of his drink. “This is your plan. I’m just playing along.”
“And I appreciate it, but it’s for your benefit too!”
“Yeah, if it works.”
“Why wouldn’t it?” Kyle shrugs, eyes widening innocently.
Craig is not sure why it wouldn’t other than the whole thing just seems ridiculous. He shrugs, “I don’t know.”
“You’re just being negative,” Kyle says. “Have some faith.”
Craig is still unsure of the plan, but he attempts to have some faith as Kyle says. If this will get Clyde off his back, maybe it will not be so bad.
He and Kyle spend the the next hour or so talking; not about their plan, but actually about school work, teachers, and the Norwegian film that Craig had to watch recently. Craig finds that it is surprisingly easy to talk to Kyle one-on-one, perhaps even easier than talking to him in a group setting.
After a couple more drinks, they part ways and Craig heads back to his dorm.
He is not surprised when he walks inside and finds Clyde upright on the couch, grinning at him with interest. He lets out a sigh as he approaches him, closing the door behind him. Here goes nothing.
“Well?” Clyde raises his eyebrows.
“Well, you’re a dumb ass. It’s not a blind date when you know the person.”
“Yeah, but isn’t that better? You’re friends first. You don’t have to go through that bullshit small talk stage!”
Craig smirks, “I actually said that,” he says, taking a seat next to his roommate on their couch.
“So it went well then?” Clyde beams at him.
Craig eyes the bright smile on his face and nods. “Yup. We have a second date.”
“Awesome! I knew you two would have a blast,” Clyde exclaims, slapping his back.
Craig rolls his eyes. “Yeah, we’ll see how it goes…”
Clyde spends the next half-hour drilling him on questions about their date and what they are doing on their second. Craig offers vague answers; staying as close to the truth as possible, as it is easier to pass off lies that way.
After enough questioning, he goes to his room and sends a text to Kyle.
It went well.
Great. Same with my end.
Cool.
Craig goes to sleep that night, feeling overall content with their plan. Clyde is an easy person to fool. Although he is not the person he is worried about. It everyone else.