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It had started innocently enough, after the war, when everything was done and finally over, Natsuo had finally decided to completely cut ties with their father and moved into the room right next to their mother's to take care of her and be available more quickly if needed; he had announced it late at night after dinner when they were doing the dishes under the deem light of the kitchen's extractor, Rei had fallen asleep on the sofa watching a movie and none of them was going to contribute to waking her up.
"I can't do it, Yumi..." He had whispered, staring blankly at the nothing infront of him while insistently drying a plate, the wrinkle between his eyebrows deepening.
"Do what?"
"I cant go in tomorrow, anymore... I can't look at his face" His words were washed over slightly with pain, and even more with resentfulness, frown deepening he finally put the plate on its place, completely dry. "I'm sorry, I'm not as strong as you, Yumi"
"It's okay" She had simply said, ignoring the pinch over her heart that she had grown so used to, the ghost of a smile showed on her lips, looking at her brother with sympathy "I'll take care of everything, don't worry" They had agreed to visit their father once every two weeks, around the middle of the war, when they didn't really know if their father would survive or not, to have dinner, maybe chat, maybe catch up, but mostly to make sure he was still there, still present, still Number One.
Natsuo had met the reunions reluctantly, and almost every time including an argument, a small fight before getting into the car to go to their fathers home once even saying that they could make sure he was still alive on the TV and be done with it, all Fuyumi did was look at him hurt while fixing the end of her turtle neck and looking away at her reflection on the mirror of the entrance of their house "Then stay"
He went out of obligation towards her that time, and the next ones were only met with silence, from the car ride, throughout the whole dinner and then here, to this moment.
After that incident however, she couldn't blame him, there was too much history in that house, too many shadows that no matter how much light you tried to bring they would never die down or settle; it was a matter of time for this to happen, for Natsuo to simply say enough and continue on with his life without the responsibility or the memories of the old one.
Fuyumi could only feel grateful that he withstood so much only for her sake.
"I'm sorry"
"Its okay, Natsu"
"I'm home!" Fuyumi yelled while taking off her shoes and looking around.
Her fathers house always looked the same: unpolluted, plain, lifeless, everything they had left was still in the same place, sometimes she wondered if he kept it that way to preserve the memories, almost every time she discarded it as a silly thought right away.
"Welcome, Fuyumi" A deep voice surged from the kitchen, she rushed, carrying the bag with the ingredients for dinner towards the table and laying them neatly there, her father was already preparing all the utensils.
"I'm sorry I'm late, I lost track of time grading some papers and then Shoto called me" She explained, putting on her apron and washing her hands throughoutly "They had a last minute special activity in school and his homeroom teacher said they couldn't miss it so the plans got a little bit ruined, I'm sorry"
"No needs to apologize" He had answered, picking up a knife and starting to cut the vegetables, dead silence falling over them while they worked; Endeavor with the vegetables and Fuyumi proteins and cooking, while trying to explain the process so he actually learned to survive on his own, it was a routine she had learned to love, and her father was surprisingly good at following directions, it was one of the reasons she had tried to change the meetings from once every two weeks to every week, to have more times like these.
"What about Natsuo?" Endeavor had asked his voice blank, after a long silence between them while Fuyumi was stirring the pot.
She didn't answer right away, frowning at the pang on her chest which only hurt deeper this time around, because her brother wasn't actually there and his absence was noted, his resentfulness, and his right to go away if he wanted to.
"He didn't want to come" She had said, only the truth, because if there was something they all had learned throughout all of this is that lying didn't help, or keeping secrets or playing dumb, there was nothing to say but the honest truth.
The nod her father gave her after staring for a while only broke her heart further.
"I see"
Next time she visited there was a pleasant surprise: right when she was about to announce her arrival a voice cut her off, bright and cheerful, chatting away like nothing, it had made the words freeze on her throat and just listen.
Looking through the corner of her eye she sighted a pair of boots sitting next to her father's shoes, she didn't know her father had friends, or even visitors to come here to this empty house and the thought made her smile, because he deserved some friends after everything and the fact that he allowed someone inside this old house filled of ghosts was evidence of his progress, it only made her feel proud.
When she peeked through the kitchen door she was met with red, big and elegant scarlet red feathers, poking from the Number Two hero who had his back against her, his wings were barely a third of the way filled in and it only made him look smaller next to her father, imposing and a whole head taller than him, the sight almost made her laugh.
"Hawks-san" She said, vowing lightly towars him, he turned around immediately, looking a little bit shocked.
"Hey there, kid! How is it going?" He asked cheerfully, he was looking at Endeavor when she finally straightened up "So this is why you wanted me to go, uh, big guy? Family dinner? How rude not to invite me"
"Family exclusive, so now if you would lea-"
"You could stay for dinner if you want Hawks-san, it would be a pleasure to have you!" Fuyumi interrupted, smiling brightly at the winged hero.
"Oh! No kid, don't worry, I'm just messing with the big guy, I have some other stuff to do" He shook his hands nervously, shaking his head "Thank you for the offer though! I'll take you up on it some other time but I'll be leaving for now"
"Finally"
"Now you're really hurting my feelings there, Papa Bear" A grumble left her father's throat while he crossed his arms and looked at the blonde furiously, it only made her giggle; back when they were strategizing to take the League Of Villains down they would all have to be together to gather data, mostly about Touya, and discuss about intentions, double meanings, evidence, and those kinds of stuff, things that would only dig depper into the open wound of what their family was; Hawks and Endeavor would knock heads more often than not, and it was always amusing to see them interact, even if it was a little scary too, seeing her father slowly lose his patience and his temper.
"So you invited him?" Fuyumi asked, way later after Hawks left the house and they were both sitting down enjoying their dinner, each at every end of the table; her father just nodded once.
"He had no place to stay after a villains attack, they destroyed half of the neighborhood including his apartment and he had to use all his feathers in battle, so I told him he could stay the night"
"Oh thats very kind of you! Only one night, though? Did he find a new apartment that fast?"
"I believe so"
"Maybe you should asking him over more! It would be lovely to have him for dinner some time"
"Mmm..."
After that one particular incident it was more common to see Hawks fly in and out of the state, he would visit every other week since the work of a Hero never died and would accept Fuyumi's offers for dinner almost every time, against her father's wishes to keep their dinners as private and Hawks-free as possible.
She could tell the man was slowly warming up to the winged hero, though, evident as the frown of his face would be less and less pronounced every time the three of them gathered together, and even joke around, very very few times, it had made her smile brightly each and every time, her chest swelling with love and affection directed purely at her father, and gratefulness towards Hawks and his easy going personality.
He completely let go of his advertion to the winged Hero the next time Shoto came with all of them for dinner, he had immediately noticed the extra pair of shoes at the entrance and had only met them with silence, thoughts reserved only to himself as they often were.
"Hawks has been having dinner with us these last few times" Fuyumi explained, placing her shoes right next to her brother's.
"Dad has friends?" He asked, the incredibility in his voice made her laugh and she just waved him off.
That dinner went better than usual, Hawks decided to focus the conversation on Shoto since it was the first time he had joined them in three weeks, training to be hero and living at UA often got in the way of their family dinner; and the blond included the insight he had on the class 2A through Tokoyami, his intern that was apparently quite chatty if you pressed the right buttons.
When the evening ended peacefully and Shoto didn't comment anything harsh her father finally relaxed, and recieved the Number Two in their home more willingly.
It was truly a wonderful addition to their dynamics, his chatter would often fill up the room and the silence around them and she would join him most of time, every once in a while her father would interrupt to give his opinion, when they least expected he would show that he was actually listening and not absently looking at his plate and eating.
Hawks would take the opportunity to tease him and ask him if he actually cared which only made her father growl and tell him to shut up.
A pang in her heart would make her hope that he actually answered the question, instead of leaving it on the air.
Since then, every time she would visit her father's home she would find new little things here and there, from a small bag on the couch to eyeliner on the table right next to it, to a new cup sitting on the counter, there were specks and hints of someone else all over the house that made her heart ache a little for an unknown reason.
"Hawks must have left it last time he came over, I'll tell him to take it next time" He would answer every time she asked and her heart would settle, his voice was always coated with a little bit of fondness, and a little bit of annoyance, it was fun to hear.
It never really ended at that however, things would still appear and she would never know how to feel, happy because his dad was finally making a friend and wasn't so lonely anymore? Or sad that when he finally decided to confide, it was with someone completely separated from his own family? When she was right there, making sure he was okay, trying desperaly to build up a relationship that was never there in the first place.
Again, Fuyumi wondered if her father really truly cared about them, and she hated that that question was even in her mind.
It was another Saturday night when things took an ugly turn, Hawks had accepted her dinner offer as always, he had been in an specially difficult but successful mission and he was given 5 days to rest for a job well done, that and the fact that he was missing all his feathers so upon arriving and settling down a little he helped a to chop the vegetables, after her father had nagged him non-stop about making himself useful and, if he was going to eat their food, he could at least help make it and the blonde had finally accepted, enthusiastically rubbing his hands together and rambling about how good of a chef he was and that Endeavor was going to crawl and beg for Hawks to cook for him.
In the end he wasn't that good of even an assistant, Fuyumi had to help him and explain very carefully how to do each thing and how they wanted each vegetable cut, so after two bandaged finger and a little bit of blood spilled they moved to the cooking part, Hawks looked extremely pleased with himself when they finished and finally sat down to watch them cook.
Fuyumi had the suspicion that he never really cooked for himself.
They ate quietly, which was odd having the blonde there, since he had arrived he had looked out of it, his eyes would often wonder some place else in his mind but would still try to fill in the silence with conversation, like he was trying to hold a mask that kept slipping away.
When they finished dinner she had excuses herself to refresh on the bathroom, her father liked his food specially spicy and Hawks had convinced her to give it a try, which only resulted in her sweating profusely and her father handing her a glass of milk and two natural yogurts to wash down the burning sensation while Hawks laughed and teased her, so after that little episode of pain she retired to the bathroom and stayed a long time there, washing the sweat from her face and her arms, pulling her hair up, trying to regulate her temperature.
The things splayed on the bathroom however, distracted her, a small number of beauty products were placed on the cabinet, special creams for smooth skin, some to reduce wrinkles, even face masks and a single bottle of painkillers on the corner which only made her more confused, because she didn't see her father as one to care much about looks, as he demonstrated back when he got the scar on his face, Fuyumi had expressed her concern about it and asked him if the doctors couldn't make a greater effort to not make it look so bad which only got her a simple "its just there" and a shrug as a response.
When she came back, her remark about the beauty products died down in her throat as she heard hushed voices, quietly arguing in the kitchen, the guilt she felt from eavesdropping went away quickly as she listened.
"You can't keep it a secret forever, Enji" She heard Hawks whisper, voice coated with reproach.
Enji? Since when Hawks had such familiarity with her father?
"Not right now, Hawks" Her father chastised, sounding tired like this conversation had happened way too many times.
"Are you ashamed of me?"
"Of course not, you know that"
A heavy silence fell after that, she heard clothes moving, a chair being placed further away.
"Don't you want me?" The blonde whispered, her pain mirrored in his voice, her heart sank as realization made its way through her head, a cold, cold chill ran up her spine and bottled up tight in her chest.
"I can't ask them for more, Hawks, it's selfish an-"
"Yes, it's selfish... you have been selfish plenty... but isn't it worth it, one last time? For something good? Won't they be happy if you are?"
"I don't th-"
"Tell me you want me" A wet sound followed that made her heart skip, a kiss?
"I want you"
"Isn't it worth it?"
A sob escaped her lips, unable to control it, she hadn't even realized she was crying in the first place but there she was, clenching at the fabric of the shirt over her heart; the whispers died down inside the kitchen.
"Fuyumi?" Her fathers voice resonated, loud and clear, worried?
She heard it far away, however, as she took her stuff and ran out of the house, barely remembering to put her shoes on, she only truly realized what had happened when she was halfway there to her mothers house and she had to stop on the side of the road, unable to control the sobs that rocket harshly through her body, emptying her soul through the tears because there was always something in the middle, because she was just confused and hurt, when they were children it was always too much work and not enough time, and when it wasn't work it was Touya causing trouble, when it wasn't Touya it was someone else, something else, because when it came his love it was always on something else and not them, not her... and the future she had envisioned was destroyed, the one thing she was working towards was dead, and that was to finally have her family together, happy, and there.
And maybe it had been a lost cause since the beginning, she thought, in the middle of the road, the night surrounding everything she could see; since Touya-nii was finally arrested, maybe they would never be a conventional family but they could maybe be something, build something from the scraps, a broken vase glued together but together at the end of the day, but not this, with the pieces laying all over the floor, her mother's mind marked forever, Natsuo as far away as possible, Shoto with his emotional constipation and her father with someone else...
It hurt because everyone seemed to move on as awful as the situation was, and she was still there, trying to rescue it, to fix it.
She finally turned on the car and drove home, feeling utterly betrayed.
Her father had called six times before he finally gave up, she would've liked of he had tried a little bit harder, but its not like it really mattered.
The next weekend she didn't go to see him, and he didn't call to confirm, nor the next one which only disappointed her further while her thoughts would run miles per minute everyday, questions that she never got the answer to, remained unasked in her brain and it would only wear her down even more.
So she finally decided to get some answers that second weekend, late at night while she was cuddling with her mother on the couch infront of the TV, playing some romantic movie she had not interest in and that, for some reason, her mother liked, Fuyumi finally decided to get some answers, no poking around, no playing dumb.
"Mom..?"
"Mmm?"
"How was your marriage with dad?"
Silence followed, she was only now realizing how much it actually filled in the spaces of her life; her mother ultimately decided to pause the movie and stare off into space, gathering her thoughts while Fuyumi waited for her answer.
"Why are you asking?"
"I always wondered, I just never thought of asking... Did you...? Did you guys even love each other, at any point?"
"Mm... I don't believe so, it was a means to an end, both your father and I knew it from the start, he wanted a kid with both our quirks and I wanted to help my family, I dont believe there was much love to grow in those conditions"
"So it was always awful?" A giggle scaped her mother's lips.
"Not really, Enji was actually quite gentle at first, he's never been a man to outright show affection but he always made sure I had everything I wanted and was comfortable, it was later on that things got bad" She thought about it, about the garden her mother took so much care of when they were children and she imagined her father, making sure that the space was sufficient for Rei to be content with it.
"Did you ever... Did you guys ever consider work things through? Or split up or something?"
"Mmm..." She felt her mother's fingers gently caress her hair, and a gentle kiss press against her head "At some point I did think of divorcing him, it would've been shameful towards my family however, so it wouldn't have helped anyone, but then I thought, since he was always away maybe we would be okay, your brothers and you could support each other and wouldn't have to suffer through it that much... now I realize how selfish that decision was, to put the burden of a problem I myself didnt know the solution of on my kids, it was foolish" Her mothers arms squeezed her tightly against her, a hug, comfort that she hadn't gotten when Fuyumi was younger and she could only return the gesture, hiding her face so Rei couldn't read her expression.
"What did we do wrong...?"
"Nothing, love... Everything that happened, was purely your fathers and I's fault, we didnt know how to talk, what to say... what to do, that burden is purely on our shoulders" Another kiss "Now I can tell you clearly thanks to all those years in the ward, and its still hard, your father is even worse at communicating than me" She giggled again, the fondness on her voice evident, it made Fuyumis throat tighten, she spit the question that had drilled in her mind for years either way, because she had waited for too long.
"Do you think... dad and you, will ever be together again?"
Rei didn't answer, and it was really all the confirmation she needed.
Her mother rubbed her hair slowly, carefully, accompanying the shudder of her body while she quietly sobbed and her lips trembled, while she slowly started accepting reality.
"I think... your father and I, have hurt each other too much over the years, love..." Rei finally said, after she had calmed down and her tears had stopped "I think that future is impossible, and I know its painful and hard to process it but... its better if we part ways, maybe we can find the happiness we didn't have together, apart, its the healthies way for us" Fuyumi nodded, her face buried in her mothers lap, in that moment she felt like a kid again, asking for her mother's consolation after a nasty fight with Natsuo, the memory made her smile.
"What would dad think of you found someone else, though?"
"I think he would be happy honestly, I'd even dare say he would be glad, that I could be happy with someone else, I doubt it ever happens though"
"And... and if he found someone?"
"The sentiment goes both ways, since I met Enji he was a lonely man, I never knew much of his personal life before we were together but it would be healthy for him I believe, someone to help him overlook some of the sins he carries on his shoulders"
"Natsuo wouldn't like that"
"No, he wouldn't" Rei laughed, her whole body shaking with the sentiment, Fuyumi could only follow after her, cleaning off the final tears off her cheeks and sitting up, feeling lighter than she ever felt in years.
"Thanks, mom"
"Anytime, sweetie... Do you want to watch another movie? This one is terrible"
"I thought you liked romantic ones"
"Oh no, love, thats Natsuo, he always picks them"
Throughout the week she decided to assess the situation, damage control, so she stayed glued to the news in her free time, since they were always plagued with news about heroes she decided that was her best way to see the state in which her father was living and it didn't really look good.
After one specially nasty villain attack which her father had helped solve and assist, they held small press conference, to gather data, listen to the actions to follow such a terrible disaster, question heroes about the effects it will have on society, look for encouraging words, food for the vultures; her father looked completely drained, hair a little bit messy because of the fight and deep dark bags under his eyes, tired eyes that had evidently been there from before the fight, it made her heart squeeze, because she didn't believe her leaving would have such an effect on him, but yet again, Fuyumi was sure she wasn't the only one who had left.
Right before she tuned that specific news channels she had been watching a street interview of the Number Two hero while he was on call, who, always cheerful and smiling looked a little more reserved this time around, he would've fooled anyone else, even herself if she hadn't gotten to know him throughout all those dinners at her father's home, Hawks was extremely good at playing pretend but was specially snappy when he was upset or annoyed, which was now evident, when a kid had gotten close to touch his wings and instead of acceptance the kid had gotten a sharp "HEY!" before the blonde had realized his mistake, and hurried to fix it.
"Oh its okay kid, you only had to ask, sorry about that, here" He said, kneeling down to give him one of his feathers, an apology disguised as a gift.
She decided to go back to her father's house as soon as she could, after she had sorted out her own thoughts and feelings, and was finally ready to move on, aware of what she wanted and what she didn't, ready to see her father in the face again.
Maybe she wouldn't be able to fix her family, or ever be able to see them all together again, and it wasn't her job really, but he could at least help her father become a better man, for his sake and her own because she wanted to, because even if she didn't get the vase glued together she would hold the pieces in her hands because she wanted to, as much as she wanted the relationship she never had with her father.
And she would get it, dammit.
She wasn't a Todoroki for nothing.
So that week's Saturday morning she decided to buy a bunch of ingredients for a lot of food and head straight to her father's house, some papers still due to grade on the back seat of her car that she would take care of later, she wanted to make up the days she was absent, not that she had to, she just wanted to; and just like that she came in unannounced, all the things she had noted in her last few visits, the little packs of evidence of someone else were gone, she noted, and what replaced it was just the same old plain house from before.
She started working on breakfast after the little analysis of the house, aware that her father was probably getting ready to lock himself in his office for the rest of the day, thats how she had found him in the beginning, when they had first started to come visit, he was always in his office, buried between mountains of papers and work, it was always funny to see his head poke out of all of it to look at her.
And thats exactly how she had found him, after she had gotten breakfast done and set on the table she walked down the same hallway that was so scary back when she was a kid, with her head held high and opened the door harshly; the pile of papers was smaller this time around and the only difference was that it was now accompanied by a big cup of coffee, black just the way she liked it.
"Breakfast is ready"
"Fuyumi... you're here" He had answered, the shock extremly evident in his expression, like he never expected to see her again, his beard was slightly grown and he was wearing his pajamas, alarming considering this man would be up and ready, completely dressed at 7:00 a.m.
She didn't answer, however, she just opened the door more and stepped aside, message clear.
Let's go eat
Just like that he got up immediately, almost tripping with the chair before composing himself and walking out of his room more calmly, ever worried of looking cool, calm and collected, it made her giggle.
When they finally sat down, each on the other side of the table, she cleared her throat.
"I can't change the past" She started, intertwining her fingers together and placing her hands delicately on the table, looking to her father in the eyes, ready to settle business because that's how her father was, a man of business; he only nodded and straightened up, ready for her to continue I'm listening "I'm not responsible for fixing your mistakes, I now realize that... I wanted... I hoped I could fix our family, that I could bring us all together again but that night I realized it was impossible, and it would never happen" A long sigh escaped from her lips, looking away from him, he could still see her pain, she just didn't want it to be so evident "But what I can do is create new memories, and just look forward, I can't salvage the past or our relationship as father and daughter, as family, from the past... but I can work for a better one, if you want to"
"I understand" Her father said, nodding, looking away.
"And if... if you want to form something... with someone else, thats okay too, you deserve to be happy too"
"It's not-" He sighed, mimicking her position, without meeting her eyes still "Its not like it matters anymore, I... cut that whole thing off, Fuyumi, you don't have to worry about it anymore"
"Why?" Fuyumi asked, frowning, finally his father met her eyes, confused.
"Why what?"
"Why did you cut him off?"
"It was selfish of me... to even want something like that after everything I have done, its not fair to you or the rest of the family, I have to look after for all of you, I cant get distracted by someone el-"
"Now stop right there" She said, lifting her finger in the air, effectively shutting her father up "This whole deal started because you forced your wishes upon us, even before we were born, and it is selfish now to do it again onto someone else, before taking into consideration what he wants"
"It's completely innaprop-"
"We're all moving on dad" Fuyumi whispered, smiling slightly at her father "It's okay... if you want to move on too, you deserve to be happy" He stayed silent after that, looking into her soul for the longest time but she didn't falter, his gaze didn't affect her as it used to, she no longer saw a scary big man yelling, now it was just her father, drowning in his own regrets and refusing any help because he thought he didn't deserve it.
Then again... nobody asked before saving a drowning man.
"You've grown a lot" He whispered, those simple words filled with so much sentiment and even pride that it made her tear up, she only nodded, though.
"Now let me make some toast, the food is probably cold already"
"I can always warm it up in my mouth"
"That's nasty"
The rest of that day they spent it on the living room, each one working on their own thing, only taking a break to make lunch, her father even accompanied to the groceries store to buy the ingredients and she convinced him to buy some donuts for dessert.
When she left, her father walked her to the door, and for the first time she kissed his cheek and gave him a hug, finally comfortable and confident enough to do it, the man only froze, startled and shocked to the show of affection, it only made her smile while she walked to the day and as she pulled away, he finally waved goodbye.
She marked it as one of her favorite days.
The following weeks, slowly but surely, a certain winged hero made his way back, he even looked shy at first, when they met again and stayed silent most of nights, but as the days went by and the dinners more ocurrent, he opened up more, like it was okay to relax and there was no threat of Fuyumi running away crying again, no threat that her father was going to push him away anymore, like things were finally going to be alright; thats when he started to be more like himself too, to be comfortable, Fuyumi happily noted, he would chat the night away as he used to, talking about his day and things that he saw or heard, her father would engage in the conversation more than before; after their talk and within itself, it felt like a little family.
It was after one particular good evening, when Hawks and Fuyumi were washing the dishes while her father was taking care of an important call in the living room that the blonde finally got to tell her.
"Thank you, Fuyumi..." He had said, so low that she almost didn't catch it, while staring intensitly to the plate he was washing, it was filled with a lot of unsaid things, thank you for talking to him, thank you for accepting it, thank you for convincing him that it was okay, thank you for being there.
"Thank you too" She simply answered, because if he had never been there they were never going to have that conversation, and if he hadn't been there her father wouldn't be so relaxed, and if he hadn't been there, her father would be so so lonely.
Thank you for loving him too.
From that point on, Fuyumi had the honor to see a little bit into Hawks and her father's relationship, and therefore, more into her father's life, a mystery she had never really had the opportunity to solve, the part of him that he didn't like anyone seeing, the parts of him that he never showed because he perceived them as weak and vulnerable but the rest of them only saw as human.
The first time she saw it was another Saturday morning, she had now made it an accustom to be there early to grade her students papers and if there weren't any papers to grade, then she'd work on the next presentation or student evaluation, it was, however and without change, the days she would visit her father, the whole day, and he had never put any objections to it.
Her father had woken up later than usual because the night before he had been covering patrol, so he entered the kitchen with a gruff and sleepy "Murning" before helping himself a cup of coffee, first going to Fuyumi to kiss the top of her head and then Hawks, on the other end of the table reading the news on his phone, to give him a slight peck on the lips before sitting down and start eating breakfast; the two youngsters only looked at each other for a moment before continuing with what they were doing before, the white headed woman working her pencil lazily over the paper and the blonde looking over his phone, with a smile that could barely fit on his face and a happy "Good morning, Enji"
At first Fuyumi had been a little bit worried about her father, considering Hawks and her were literally the same age, she was worried they wouldn't really blend together and her little stunt months ago wasn't going to be the only thing that would split them apart, and she was also worried for Hawks, because she didn't really think the blonde actually took into consideration how old her father was.
It quickly died down, however, when one morning they were all sitting on the table for breakfast and her father was reading the newspaper and yes, the actual physical thing, and she noticed how hard the man was squinting to read the letters and apparently he didn't even seem to notice; a little pang of concern filled her head and she looked at Hawks to see if he shared the sentiment, he however, was looking directly to the man smiling widely, his eyes were filled with such an incredible amount of emotions, of love, that it momentarily shocked her.
"You need glasses, old man" He had said, voice drowning with smugness despite the expression of his eyes.
"I think you're projecting, brat"
"Nuh-huh, thats one benefit from being 80% bird, I can see you squinting from ten miles away, you-need-glasses"
"Complety unnecessary"
Next time she visited her father was using his new pair of reading glasses, and Hawks spent the day trying to take a picture of it, with various levels of success.
Another added benefit of being allowed on this part of their lives was finding out things she didn't know about her father, every visit was a pleasant surprise, one weirder than the other or... odd, she would say, for example that one time Hawks had invited her to get their nails done at home, after the hero Muriko, who he apparently was friends with, had rejected his offer because her nails would only get ruined on duty since she used her legs and fists too much.
"We gotta be independent, Yumi, we can't count on the industries so we're gonna DIY this bitch" He had said, bringing his little case of nailpolish and utensils to use, the results were good enough as far they went, considering they weren't professionals, amateurs at best.
They did get in a predicament however, when one of Fuyumis nails got completely ruined because she moved and they couldn't afford to fix the mistake since all of their nails were still wet, so Hawks called out for his solution, which came in the form of her father.
"What is it?" He had asked as soon as he stepped on the living room.
"Can you fix Fuyumi's nail? Its completely destroyed"
"That's the emergency you were whining about?" He asked grumpyly, but walking towards them nonetheless.
"Dude its a life or death situation! She's a teacher she had to be presentable, she can lose her job over this, Enji" He said, putting up the best interpretation of a dying man he could while her father rolled his eyes an approached them, already grabbing the acetone and cotton, making her mind go blank.
"I didnt know you knew how to do this, dad" She said, after her father proficiently cleaned her nail and started working the first coat of nailpolish onto it with extreme precision.
"He always does my right hand, what do you mean"
"You always coax me to partake in your troubles"
"Oh you love me, just admit it"
"Mmm"
Unfortunately there was always trouble in paradise, Fuyumi noticed, as much as her father and Hawks did match, they knocked heads too and it was always ugly, she remembers the endless fights Rei and Endeavor would have and the memory was always a little traumatic; these two were not quite the same as her childhood memories however; the first time she had seen them mad at each other they had just kept quiet, both of them, dead silent all day without uttering a single word to each other, only to Fuyumi, because she was the guest and if they were going to be rude fighting infront of her they at least wouldn't drag her into it.
This time though, was completely different: Endeavor and Hawks had teamed up together to stop a major villain with an augmentation quirk who wanted to take over the city and it had proven to be tougher than it seemed; the problem started when Hawks had purposely taken a hit for her father, he had been preparing an attack directed to the weak point of the villain and didn't see one of the companions approach, so the blonde, always the charming savior, dived down to take the hit.
Ended up with a spear through the left chest plate and one day at the hospital, thanks to all the healing quirks that he was treated with, he was good as new in no time but sent home to rest for a few days, Fuyumi was only glad he was okay.
Her father, however, was only really really mad about it.
"It was completely irresponsible"
"Sorry for saving your life, man, no problem" Hawks had grown more and more annoyed with each remark Endeavor had thrown at him.
"He's right, dad, you could've been badly hurt and you already had a wound, it turned out the best way possible"
"None of that, do not encourage his behavior" He responded, laying against the counter while crossing his arms, staring spears through Hawks skull, ironically speaking. "It was irresponsible and stupid he could've killed himself in a foolish act to be brave"
"So I should let you fucking die next time?!"
"No but you should not take risks like that!"
Fuyumi just sighed, getting ready to absorb another episode of yelling while rubbing her temple and sinking into her seat, she really did wonder if her father could not see their point of view of the whole situation.
"It comes with the fucking job, Endeavor! Your head ain't that fucking thick to understand that!"
"You could've used your damn feathers you shouldn't have just swoon in!"
"Oh now you wanna talk about quirks! I didnt see your fire do much!"
They stayed like for a long, long time, she actually did consider just excuse herself and leave for the day but Natsuo was going to be home and as soon as he saw her face he was going to start ranting about their father and that she should just stop going altogether, that nothing good came with him and this and that and Fuyumi was not up to any of it, she had already had enough of an emotion rush when she first got the call that her father was in the hospital she didn't need a second one.
So deep in her thoughts that she didn't notice when the conversation got so heated that her fathers face literally caught on fire.
"No! That doesn't work against me if you wanna burn some shit there's the fucking door!" The blond had yelled, pointing at nothing in particular.
Her father took his word for it and left, slamming the door on his way out, the loud noise made her flinch a little.
Hawks sighed, covering his face with his hands and ultimately deciding to just grab a beer and look at her.
"Wanna watch a movie?"
It had been a documentary in the end, she had quite enjoyed it and she was sure her father would've too if he was there; from the moment they sat down it was clear that Hawks mind was wondering elsewhere and she didn't bother to stop him or interrupt him, she understood the situation, it was delicate.
When the documentary was almost done the blonde stood up, walking towards the door that gave direct access to the backyard and leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed.
"Are you done stomping around?"
Her father was home?
"You're melting the fucking snow, Endeavor, are you done being pouty?" The blond asked, standing straight; all of the sudden a giggle scaped his lips, his wings moving in sync "Are you flipping me off?!" He laughed, any evidence of his anger completely gone from his voice.
What followed was the rumbling of her father's laughter coming closer to them, when he finally showed up in her frame of view he was soaking wet, it had been snowing pretty heavily now that she thought about it.
"I'm sorry" The man had whispered, kissing Hawks forehead while stepping inside, her eyebrows shot up.
"Me too"
Fuyumi smiled lightly, looking at the scene infront of her and stood up.
"I'll be going now, dad, I have stuff to do at home"
They were going to be fine.
She just hoped the future arguments didn't get any worse than this, for their relationships sake.
Later that night she stopped by a convenience store that opened 24/7 and stayed in the parking lot for a while, laid on the top of her car looking at the sky, she smiled to herself, opening a can of green tea and taking a sip, remembering empty rooms and yells that bounced over each and every wall until they reached her and Natsuo, laying on the floor and clinging to each other, she remembers Natsuo just whispering "I hate this i hate this i hate this" and her answering sweet nothings, promises that everything was going to be alright.
It didn't seem like they changed a lot since they were little, and for some reason, now the memory wasn't so painful.
When she got home Natsuo gagged at her smile and she just rolled her eyes.
Unfortunately no, the arguments did not end there but they did change in nature, evolved, if she wanted to put it lightly; from the last one they had decided that they would take arguments in a more profesional way, that did not mean to take it to a specialist, sit down and talk to a couple's therapy profesional and discuss their problems as Fuyumi had initially thought, instead what they did was build up an entire presentation on the subject, pros and cons, list reason of why each of them defended their standpoint, even past investigations as reference, they put the most profesional side of their work life into their day to day life.
She had come across this change a sunday afternoon, since Natsuo had been nagging more than usual she had decided to just run away from that and ended up showing up at her father's house, as soon as she had stepped on the state she noticed something weird, the lights were dim and the ambience quiet, she had blushed deeply thinking she had walked in on something private and she would most definitely regret seeing but she was proven wrong as soon as she stepped in the living room.
Hawks was neatly organizing some papers while her father besides him was setting up a proyector, pointing directly to the white curtain that had certainly not been there yesterday.
Her father had looked up as soon as he heard her, he was wearing his glasses.
"Excellent, we have a mediator"
"Uh? Oh, Yumi! Thats an excellent idea, come here" The blond had said, coming to fetch her and sit her down on the couch "Your father and I were having a heated discussion Friday morning so we decided to debate about it instead of yell at each other, you'll be our mediator"
"I'm just trying to change your idiotic beliefs"
"Why are they idiotic?" Fuyumi had asked, taking the papers Hawks had handed her, still not really processing what was happening.
"Here's both presentations you'll be the judge of who is right, which of course is me, your father is just butt hurt that he didn't win this one" The blond said, completely ignoring her question.
"I am not butt-hurt, let's start, I'll go first, since there won't be much room for debate after"
"Very democratic"
"Shush" He chastised while turning on the proyector and opening his presentations.
"WHY IT SHOULD BE MILK BEFORE CEREAL AND ANY OTHER WAY SHOULD BE CONSIDERED PREPOSTEROUS"
The title made her laugh so much she cried, Hawks besides her only giggled along her while poking at her side.
"Dont laugh! This is a very serious discussion" He had said, her father only waited patiently while she calmed down.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry okay, okay let's proceed, I'm ready to listen"
They rambled about it for a while, Endeavor alone had taken two hours to completely explain every item in his presentation, from volume to density, to absorption and liquid retention of the cereal, time to consume it, time it would sit there if you decided to do something else, the possibility of refilling and second servings, everything neatly organized and perfectly examined, it made Fuyumi wonder if her father really did over think everything he did this deeply or it was just this one ocasion; she was honestly impressed and found herself actually listening.
Hawks was more straight to the point, when he opened his document it only contained 2 sheets, the title:
"CEREAL FIRST"
And description:
"Its just fucking better"
The blond had just stood there smiling brightly and looking directly at them like everything had just explained itself.
"Thats it?" She found herself asking, her father sitting beside her just huffed.
"Its just better, man, besides I cant trust anyone who sometimes eats cereal out of a cup"
"Its convenient"
"That is true, sometimes you have to move around and carrying a bowl around is uncomfortable" She sided, pointing at the large man besides her with the pen she had in hand, used to take note of the pros and cons that had been presented to her.
"Besides, the only reason anyone would put milk first its because they can't eat it fast enough and that's lame"
"Not everything is about speed, though"
"Anyways I'm not discussing this any further with a lunatic, Fuyumi, who wins?" Her father asked, standing up next to Hawks and grabbing his belt as he often did at work, a man of business.
"I'll have to give to my father for sheer effort, to be honest, he had some valid points"
"HA"
"Excuse me?? What other explanation do you need?" The blonde practically yelled, pointing at the proyector curtain like it was the source of all possible information on the world. "This is biased im not taking it we're changing to personal preference, how do you eat your cereal?" Fuyumi blushed, looking away.
"Milk first"
"Thats exactly why she's my daughter" Endeavor announced, signaling her with his entire arm like he was presenting his most proudest possession, it made her blush further.
"Because she puts milk first?"
"Because she has wits, as smart as they come, brat"
"I'm not losing this shit, call Shoto I refuse to accept this"
In the end they tied, Fuyumi did call Shoto extremely embarrased to even interrupt his day for something as silly as this but he did answer and took Hawks side, basically saying that he really didn't care but he did fill up the bowl with cereal first which won her father a: "HA! Suck it old man, one more to my favor, I'm calling Tokoyami stay in your fucking seat, I'm winning this"
He didn't, Tokoymi explained very calmly through the speaker phone that it was rather hard to eat cereal having a beak, so he didn't do it, he just ate fruits for breakfast.
Hawks left the day with promises of this not being over and future victories.
It was a Wednesday afternoon when her mother finally decided to throw the question.
She had asked Fuyumi to help her take care of the garden she had meticulously set up throughout the years, all covered in cold and light colored flowers, all different kinds of plants, beautifully laid out, it was clear it was a place that brought peace to her mother.
"How's your father, Fuyumi?" She had asked, carefully wiping down a specially long leaf from one of her most precious plants, looking at her Fuyumi wondered if something her mother touched would ever feel pain.
"He's okay" She simply answered, and her own face lit up with the memories of her last visit "He's happier, I think" Her mother nodded, smiling lightly.
"I'm glad"
"Why do you keep going back to his place?"
The question had caught her off guard, all three of them were having lunch while her mother was out to one of her therapy sessions, Fuyumi had told her they could rush the preparations for earlier that day and she had just waved her off saying it was okay, she could eat when she came back home and she wasn't very hungry anyways, for some reason those therapy sessions made her mother anxious.
"Why shouldn't I?" She had asked back, putting the chopsticks down on the table and looking at her brother to her right, for some reason the space at the end of the table was always reserved for her, even after she had asked her mother to take it.
"Isn't it obvious?"
"It isn't, actually" Her brows furrowed, a little bubble of annoyance growing in her chest because it was Natsuo who always had something bad to say about their father, the one who couldn't enjoy one simple thing without turning it bitter.
"Does it matter? Its her decision" Shoto said to her right, it was one of those rare occasions were they had him at home, and now Fuyumi was more than happy that he was there.
"I think you should stop, honestly"
"Why?"
"Even if he has been halfway decent he's gonna mess it up like he always does and I don't wanna see you in pain again" She felt her cheeks grow warmer.
"Even if it does happen thats my problem, Natsuo"
"He has been less annoying, you gotta give him that"
"Less annoying is not better, though" Her brother had continue, leaning away and crossing his arms, the food they had made together completely forgotten "Hes gonna fuck up and you're gonna come home crying again, you can't fix him, Fuyumi!"
"Enough!" She practically yelled, smacking her hands against the table, her cheeks felt hot with the anger and maybe she was completely red but its not like it really mattered, she had had enough "I have respected your decision to hate him, i have respected your decision to completely cut him off and be done with him with your life, the only thing im asking is that you respect mine"
"Your what? Your decision to try fix him?"
"To forgive him, Natsuo! To love him, its okay if you don't want to but I do!"
Silence fell upon them after that, each one with their own bowl of food trying to eat, trying to pass and survive the heavy environment they put themselves into.
"I just don't understand" Natsuo finally said, his voice trembling; he was looking away, Fuyumi noticed, his fists were so tightly closed his knuckles had turned white "I don't understand how you guys can forgive him" Fuyumi sighed, grabbing his hand over the table to console him, no words spoken, her brother reluctantly accepted, still not looking her way.
Shoto was the one to answer.
"Its just easier"
The next dinner at her father's house was more difficult, Natsuos words felt heavy in her mind and didn't let her enjoy it like she usually would have, or at all, for that matter; instead of talking and smiling and engaging in the conversation with Hawks like she usually did, she stayed silent, giving yes or no answers to the blonds futile attempts to lighten the mood, until he finally gave up, giving her father a worried look that she guessed was supposed to be secret.
"Is everything okay, Fuyumi?" Her father's question was the last straw, she just crossed her arms and shrunk on her seat while heavy streaks of tears ran down her cheeks, she felt like a little kid throwing a tantrum.
"Why?" She had asked, and in her mind it didn't make sense, nothing made sense.
"Why what?"
"Just why?" She said louder, pointing at nothing in particular, trying with two words to ask so many things that she couldn't vocalize, things that she couldn't put into the world beacuse she herself couldn't understand it.
Her father stood up.
"Lets talk"
He chose the backyard, as their place to talk, somewhere open where she wouldn't feel trapped, and maybe somewhere where she could throw her pain in the air and the wind would take it away, where she could no longer reach it and it would just disappear.
"Whats wrong, Fuyumi?" Her father asked besides her, they both sat down on the little steps that connected the house to the grass, shoulder to shoulder, or well, shoulder to bicep taking into account her father's size; she had finally calmed down after a while, and still, she held tightly in her hand the tissue that Hawks had offered, before disappearing from her view to give them privacy.
"I just don't understand" She said, her voice broke again and she cursed her emotions for not letting her express herself freely "Why did you decide to confide on him when we were all ready for you to come back? What happened?" A particular hard sob made her rock her body, her last word broke into pieces; after a few moments she thought again of what she said "Please don't get me wrong Im happy, I'm really happy for you, I just don't understand whats so wrong with us that you don't trust us"
"Theres nothing wrong with any of you, what makes you think that way?"
"Just... please, explain" She said, wiping her tears away with the absolutely soaking wet tissue in her hands, she really couldn't find it in her to care.
Her father sighed, nodding once and started talking, no keeping secrets, no playing dumb.
"Remember the fight with the High-End?" He asked, looking over her and only continued after she nodded, she could hardly forget about it, the evidence was right there on her father's face "After that fight Hawks and I became closer, he just naturally came to me every time he could even after I pushed him away, time and time again, he wouldn't stop pestering me" The gruffness of his voice made her giggle "I can hardly ask you to understand my position, Fuyumi, with everything that I have done but..." He sighed "He just... he didn't leave, even after I explained everything to him, everything I had done he didn't leave, he only seemed to care that I was trying to change, it was the first person I have ever seen that actually seemed to enjoy my company, to this day I think he's completely mad..."
"Now that's not very kind" She said, trying to lighten the mood, trying to console her father even through this.
"I'm not a kind man" He answered, and rubbed her hair, lightly to mimic her gesture, so much for a man who is not kind "But I couldn't ask more of you Fuyumi, with everything you were doing for all of us at home, I didnt have the right to show you or talk about my pains, when the vast majority of yours were caused by me, to this day I can't"
"That's why you stopped calling when I first left?" Her father furrowed her eyebrows, momentarily confused until he remembered, and nodded "And why you pushed him away?"
"I tried to call you, to explain the situation and calm you down but you didn't answer" He explained "After some time I decided to leave it like that, you had already offered me so much more than I deserved already and there I was, trying to ask for more, you were on your right to leave, i pushed him away thinking that it would bring you back, it was a foolish decision"
"I thought you didn't care"
"Of course I do, every time you come it makes me the happiest" And those simple words made her cry again, out of happiness, out of sadness, out of relief there were so many things she felt at once that she couldn't control them so she cried, she let them go; her father at some point hugged her, carried her in his lap and rocked their bodies slowly back and forward, comforting her, telling her without words that he was there, that he felt her pain and that he was sorry.
"What about Shoto and Natsuo?" She asked when she finally calmed down, still squeezed between her father's arms but she didn't really care, it had been years since the last time this had happened.
"Its the same I'll take what they are willing to give me and it will be more than what I deserve, I dont have the right to ask anything from them"
"You have you tell me what you want, or what you need you can't keep like this, you have to show us that you care"
"I'm sorry" He whispered, and it made her lips tremble "I'm not very good with words"
"Its okay but just try"
"I'll try, I promise"
And try he did, whenever he would have to leave for a few weeks for work, he would call telling her the entire situation and apologize profusely, even if his words did fail sometimes, he always tried to fill in the gaps with his sentiment, include it in those little few words he could manage to get out, emotion he couldn't vocalize but found a way of showing.
He tried to show his love towards them with framed pictures scattered around the house, of Fuyumi and him cuddling in the sofa after their talk, she had just passed out after all that crying, she had the heavy suspicion that Hawks convince the vast majority of them; a few of Shoto, when he won the sports festival in his third year, another one of him when he first made in on the news as a hero, and one of all of the three of them together, on top of his desk, reminder of what he was working towards.
And years down the line he tried again, to show what he wanted, when he asked Fuyumi to act as a witness to his wedding and made her take a picture of a crying Hawks in a black suit, who promised and swore that he was okay while his eyeliner smudged.
He finally showed her, that night while everyone was in the living room talking; he had gone to the backyard to catch some air and relax a little and Fuyumi had followed after him, knowing better.
"Thank you, Fuyumi... for everything" He had said, and hugged her delicately, like never before.
That night he showed her he wanted a family too.