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Langa shivers, despite the warm evening rain cascading over him. The droplets turn tepid on his skin and pool along his back, his uniform already too sodden to soak up more. How long has he been standing here? When did the sun set? Time’s become a foreign concept. And right now, only one question really matters.
Where is his Reki?
Because he’s always there. Every morning and every evening. Ever since Langa moved to Okinawa, there hasn't been a moment without Reki's vibrant smile, as unapologetic as his blazing hair, beaming light into every dark corner. School, work, skating; they do everything together, their companionship having become so consistent, Reki's unexplained absence strikes harder than pavement.
But the rippling street holds no answers, not even as Reki's strange behaviour plays on loop, obscuring anything that isn't brilliant auburn.
Splish.
Splish.
Splish.
Langa's head jerks up, the blanket of numb silence ripped away—but the footfalls have already stopped. The figure is turned away, though Langa's heart still leaps into his throat. “Reki!” Finally! He’s here! In the flesh. Real and present and somehow still burning brightly through the rain.
Everything will be okay now. Because there’s his Reki.
Langa smiles and darts over. “Welcome home.” But Reki doesn’t move, doesn’t speak. The steady splatter of rain fills the air between them as he just … stares. At the bushes across the narrow street? At the slick road itself? Langa's smile fades.
“You need something?”
A pang shoots through Langa's chest, but surely he’s imagining the lifelessness in Reki's tone? “Adam is hosting a tournament.” He's wanted to tell Reki all day. The excitement has bubbled in his gut since the night before, but now, the words spill forth lukewarm and flat. Why isn't Reki looking at him?
Is Reki gripping his board harder?
“So?”
“... I'm thinking about entering.”
“What about your promise to me?”
Langa's eyes widen, and he ducks his head. This time, there’s no mistaking the edge in Reki's voice. And sure, he hasn't made his distaste for Adam a secret. Even Langa privately agrees Adam isn't the most stable person. But … that’s part of what makes him so interesting. He’s … different. Unpredictable. Chaotic. “That's ...”
“You said you wouldn't go up against Adam again!”
“I'm sorry, but I—”
“Don't apologize!” Reki's shout doesn’t carry, not with the curtains of rain draping over them, and yet, it rings through Langa as though his body is hollow. And as much as a slap in the face as it is, it isn’t what sinks claws into Langa's chest.
Reki steps back.
Langa moved closer, reached for his Reki. And Reki stepped back.
Reki straightens and finally looks at him, but the second their gazes meet, Langa wishes he hadn't. Because Reki's eyes aren't sparkling. “It just means you're gonna break your promise to me, right? Do you know how much I ...” The soft rumble overhead is an echo of Langa's pounding heart, and though Reki's voice has faded, the storm seems to scream in his stead. The rain thickens and pelts Langa's skin like the near-forgotten mountain hail. “That's enough.” Reiki lowers his head.
And steps around him.
Icy panic floods Langa, and he whirls, grabbing Reki's wrist, his best friend's name on his lips. And for a second, for a single stuttered heartbeat, Reki's eyes shift, soften just the tiniest bit. But it’s enough. Right? Reki will hear him out? “I wanna go up against Adam!”
Reki yanks his arm free. “With someone dangerous like that?”
“But he's an amazing skater. You'd understand as one, too, right?” Reki has to understand. Langa's passion for skateboarding only seeded and bloomed because of Reki. So surely the rolling thrill and searing rush that pumps through Langa’s veins while skating is shared? “Skating with someone amazing like that is exciting!”
Silence. Then, “Exciting?” And there it is! A hint of a smile! Langa's gut flutters. But it doesn’t reach Reki's eyes, and a second later, it’s gone. Just like the butterflies in Langa's belly, crushed under the weight of gut-wrenchingly cold, hard amber. “I … don't get excited! I'm scared. How can you act like it's all fun and stuff?” For a moment, his voice is low, almost masked by the never-ending downpour. Then, like a crack of thunder, Reki roars, “I don't get it at all!”
Langa doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t back away. Doesn’t speak. Couldn't even breathe. But he’s with his Reki! The chill creeping down his spine has no place in the presence of such a glorious flame. Except Reki isn't burning tonight.
Reki's head drops, his hair falling over his eyes. “You and Adam are nothing like me.”
“What?”
“Do whatever you like.” Reki turns and starts walking away, his already mumbled words drowning out more and more with every step. “You crazy geniuses can skate with each other as much as you want. I can't ...”
But Langa doesn’t need to hear the rest. Shooting forward, he grabs Reki's arm again. He doesn’t know what to say, he just can’t let his blazing star retreat. But his best friend rips out of his grasp, then lurches forward and shoves him back. “Reki!”
“No!” he screeches. “Don't you understand, Langa? I can't do this anymore! I've given you everything I have! I reached out to you, made your board, taught you to skate, brought you to 'S', went to Cherry when you wanted to best Adam so you wouldn't end up like me—and for what? To be left in the dust while you chase the next jump? The next trick? The next high because nothing's ever good enough for you?”
“What are you—Please just listen!”
“No, you listen! Because I'm tired of talking to your back while you don't even glance behind you.”
“You said you didn't want me to give up on skating!” Langa shoots back, desperation and confusion spurring him on. “And I promised I wouldn't, no matter what happened!”
“I don't want you to give up skating! I want you to give up Adam! How can you—Arg!” Reki's hands dart into his drenched hair and tug uselessly. “How can you look up to someone like that when we have people like Cherry and Joe by our sides? How can you call a psychopath like him 'amazing'?! How can you … You once called me 'amazing', you know? Do you even remember that?”
“Of course I do! You still are amazing, Reki!”
“THEN WHY DON'T YOU STILL LOOK AT ME THE WAY YOU LOOK AT ADAM?!”
This time, Langa recoils. He swallows, tries to breathe, hoping the warm, humid air will help thaw the icy claws scraping his throat. But nothing eases the raw burn of his whole body going polar from the inside out. “W-what?”
Now, there’s a fire in Reki's eyes again. But it isn't the beckoning glow of a brilliant campfire Langa’s grown to love, promising comforting and companionship. Instead, it blazes like a torch perched high on a battlefield. Bright and vibrant, but somehow unreachable, even though Reki stands just an arm's length away.
“I thought we were different. Special.”
“We are! You are!” Langa wants to step closer, wants to stretch his hand out, wants to pull Reki into his embrace and show him just how special he really is, but he couldn't move. “I want you by my side, Reki!”
Then, the unthinkable happens. Reki lets out a short, huffed, humourless laugh. His Reki. His North Star. His guiding light out of the frigid darkness. Langa's heart cracks, threatening to shatter entirely. “And that's the problem,” Reki mumbles. “Because no one can be at your side, Langa. You're too far ahead. And I can't keep trying to catch up.” Turning away, Reki stuffs his hands into his pockets. “All I wanted was for you to turn around, just once, and be at my side. But I get it now.”
Langa's whole body trembles as he chokes out, “Get what? ”
“You don't need me.” A moment of silence, then Reki lifts his chin and holds his gaze. “I can never make it snow.” Then he turns away once more and strides the rest of the way to his house. No hesitation, no glancing back.
As Reki rounds the corner and disappears behind the hedges, so too does the rest of Okinawa. Langa hasn’t gone anywhere, and yet, he'd travelled back to the lonely snow-capped peaks of Canada.
But he doesn’t want the snow! He wants the flame that’s just been ripped away from him. Because he does need Reki! Has always needed him. Reki’s the only person who’s made Langa feel again, live again! Without his best friend, everything will go back to the way it was before; white and muted and numb.
Langa shivers, despite the warm evening rain still cascading over him. Because without his Reki, Langa’s cold.