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The wind was blowing through my hair softly. The wheels were rolling on the tarmac smoothly. And the stars above us were bright alight. Us. Langa and me. We were skating to the tract of S to watch a beef at midnight. So we basically did the usual things. But there was something feeling different tonight.
Yes. We were boyfriends now. I was now in a relationship with the dork who was skating right next to me, paying attention to the street. We just confessed to each other last night. Or more like Miya and Shadow teased us that we "obviously liked each other". Altough I really had no idea that Langa liked me. Or that I liked him this much. So our confessions basically consisted of desperate laughs, intense blushing and really awkward staring and conversations for the rest of the night. Plus wheeze from Shadow who couldn't take this funny situation. So this wasn't as romantic how they made it look in all the shoujo manga.
We didn't get to talk about it clearly yet. We just met again this night, jumped on our skateboards and acted like nothing happened. I kinda just assumed that we're boyfriends now. Because in the end I like Langa and he likes ne back, right? I glanced over at him. He was looking down the street we drove, not noticing my glare. The side of the hill of with mine was visible from afar now.
And then the thoughts hit me again. The thoughts I tried not to think of all day. What do you do in a relationship? How do I speak with Langa? Am I weird? How do I act around him? Wait, are we supposed to hold hands or something? Are we supposed to kiss- The last thought made me tremble, which made my skateboard slide weirdly. I looked over to Langa. And he looked back. "Are you okay, Reki?" I must have looked concerning to make him ask this question. "I'm fine!" I answered way too fast and turned my head to avoid his look.
I still could feel him staring at my face. For a moment, just a moment, I glanced back over at this blue haired idiot. And no surprise actually, he was still looking at me. But now with a soft smile on his thin lips. Oh god. Langa really didn't make this situation any more bearable.
A few minutes passed in silence. we were almost near the hill, only surrounded by dark trees. But then: "Hey Reki!" Langa shoutet over to me, unnecessary loud because he was only about two metres away from me. "What is it?" I replied, my eyes still resting on the path we coasted. The other male took a deep breath as if he was hesitating and shouted just as loud as earlier: "I really like you!" This time I completely lost it. "Wha-" My skateboard slided again, but this time I was so off that I drove right into some bushes at the side of the path. Head first I fell into the woods, my head was stuck between the bushes while my back hit a tree really hard. I hissed sharply through my teeth as the sudden pain hit me.
"Reki, are you okay?" I heard Langa repeat from the street. I could only heard him, but except dirt and some tears I saw absolutely nothing. And I honestly didn't want to stand up and go to Langa. I wasn't just in pain, but I also embarrassed myself in front of the boy who just confessed to me. My skills in showing my reaction and affection in a romantic way were just terrible.
I don't know how long I laid there, it could've been a few seconds but it felt like years. But after some time I felt hands at my wrists, pulling me up from the ground. I had to blink a few times until I could see clearly again. The face of Langa was directly above me, his blue eyes looking worried into mine. He pulled me into his arms until I could stand myself again. Without a word he ran down the street just to come back with my skateboard again a few moments after. "Thanks", I said numbly, taking my board and trying to avoid looking in his face. "Don't scare me like that!" Theresponse to that was a nervous chuckle. "You're the one to talk." I looked up to see the face of Langa, who truly seemed horrified. "I'm fine! Really!" I added quickly. "Something like this happenes a lot. I don't think I broke anything."
But as soon as I started to walk I let out little groans. "The rest of the hill goes uphill. You won't manage to get there." Langa tried to get under my arms to carry me. But I walked further. "I'm really okay. Miya and Shadow will be waiting for us." "It isn't dramatic to not show up once. We can take the bus and go home", Langa insisted. "No I-" "Reki", he cut off my words. Finally I gave in and turned back around to him. I scrached the back of my head and faced the music. "It's kinda embarressing. I really don't want to ruin this night for you." Langa sighed, his body relaxed a bit. "It's okay. Let's go home now." Agreeing, I followed the boy. As soon as I stepped with one foot I let out small groans and flinched a bit. I felt so stupid right now. So stupid that I ruined Langa's evening. Was that the thank for showing me affection?
Suddenly Langa came over to me, grabbed my skateboard and put my arm around his shoulder to support me. "It's not that bad. I'll be able to skate immediately", I pouted, whereupon Langa smiled at me. "I don't doubt that." Suddenly my breast started to ache again. The heat creeped up my head. And my legs got shaky. I somehow managed to smile back at Langa, or more like a uncontrollably stupid, whide grin. What the hell was so funny now? The fingers of my left arm clinched on Langa's sweater, while my other hand hold my board, nervously scraching on the wood.
Gladly, because the way to the mine would have been uphill from now on, we could go downhill, which made things less tiring. I don't know how much time passed since we walked, but I noticed that there weren't so many trees around us anymore. I looked back to the S venue, to see small lights shining from up there. "Can you walk now?" The male next to me asked, letting go of my shoulder. Yes, I could walk alone now. But I definetly didn't want to. I just leaned more into him, my arm still aound his shouler, and asked a counter question: "Are you really not mad at me? I know how happy you always are when you can skate at S." "Yes, it is really okay. I'm happy when skating but I'm even happier with you around." His blue eyes looked deep into mine. There was nothing that told me that he lied. I trust him that he was honest. I trust him. I trust Langa.
"Langa?" I asked again, my voice thin and high, as if I would start to cry any moment. "Yeah?" Never or now I guess. "I like you too!" At these words, Langa stepped back to look me in the face properly. His face was filled with pure excitement, hearing these words from me. "I love you!", I repeated louder after realizing what I just did. Adrenaline hit me like a bus. Langa's eyes beamed with joy, to the point that I was scared it would blind me, and the corners of his mouth widened.
We both started to laugh out of happiness. With outstreched arms I threw myself into Langa's arms, now clinging completely around him. I pressed my face into his neck and giggled , until I felt something hard against my arms and head. I looked up, just to notice that we both laid on the ground, me on top of Langa. Luckily nothing happened to me and the blue-haid looked fine as well. "Are you okay?" He asked, still with a smile and a rosy blush on his face. "I've never been better!" "I'm glad", he huffed underneath my heavy body, trying to get up. "Oh, sorry!" I quickly stood and helped the other one up.
"Can you skate now?" "Yes...I guess." I put my right foot on the board, trying to find balance. After some bumpy tries, I actually managed to put my other foot on the board as well. "Shall I hold you hand?" Langa asked from behind me. His offer made me turn around to him instantly, so fast that I almost fell of again. "Yes!" I answered, almost too excited, which made the other male smile softly, as if he shared this joy and excitement.
Everything went nice like in the beginning: The wind was blowing through my hair softly. The wheels were rolling on tarmac smoothly. And the stars above us were bright alight. Us. The boy I loved and me. Skating next to each other, while our fingers were interwined. But different like the beginning, I could call Langa my boyfriend for sure.
We didn't speak that much. Langa checked up if my feet were okay sometimes, but besides that there wasn't a word that left our lips. I noticed that we glanced over to each other a lot, almost every minute while we skated downhill. At least we tried to. We always catched our looks and shook it off with a lighthearted laugh. God, I don't know when the last time was I felt this relieved and happy.
Finally, we arrived at the skatepark where we always skated together, near the stomping ground we always met to skate to school together. "Can I bring you home?" We both turned around, asking this exact same question in the exact same time, which made us giggle. But before Langa could insist, I strengthened my grip around his hand and pulled him in the direction I was going for, straight to his home.
With a triumphantly smirk I looked over to Langa, who actually gave in. But suddenly, after just a few meters, Langa stopped. He hopped of his board, still holding onto my cold hand. "Let's walk at least then", he suggested. With a slow nod, I also climbed off my skateboard.
"Why do we walk? Do you want to talk or something?" "I'm not much of a talker", He admitted with the soft voice of his, while he looked up to the stars, which I could spot in his blue eyes. "My mother told me to be more honest with my feelings. But I wouldn't say that I'm really good at that", Langa chuckled shyly. "But if admitting that you're not good at that is the first step to be more honest with your feelings, right?" I countered at that: "Look, I know you've been through some things and of course I won't be able to relate to your feelings and actions. And I don't know if I will ever be able to. But-", I put my finger up like a parent lecturing its kids: "I'll be there for you when you need to talk. As a good friend or... well, maybe more, I'll try to support you. Because I really care about you."
From the moves of his Adam's apple I could see, how he gulped and tried to catch his breath. "You'll support me? And you won't be mad at me?" I giggled when the last words left Langa's mouth: "Well, you can be a real dumbass sometimes. But I'm sure, how mad I get I will always love you."
Immediately after I said this, Langa's eyes brightened up, little tears gleamed at the corner of his eyes. Suddenly, I felt guilty. Did I scare him? Shouldn't I have said that I could get mad at him? Doesn't Langa trust me? "Reki?" Langa stared straight into my eyes, it almost hurts. His face was full of expectation and somewhat fear? "Y-yeah?" I flinched a little. "Can I kiss you?"
Some time passed in silence. I'm sure it wasn't even a second, but it felt like months. "Huh?" God, I must have looked so overwhelmed in that second. The heat in my head made me explode. "I'm sorry! I shouldn't have asked that!" "No!"I yelled back within a moment. "No?" "I mean yes!" We stared at each other in complete panic. I collected my thoughts first. "You mean like...on the cheek?"
The other male shrugged. "Yeah, I guess". A few more seconds in panic. Who was gonna be kissing who? But this time it was Langa who cleared his mind first. He started to laugh out of nowhere. "Okay, give me your other hand." I reache him my left hand. My right one was holding his hand the whole time, while I barely noticed. "Now breath. Stay calm." I did what he told me to. I always would. "Wait, am I your first kiss? You kinda act like you know what to do", I noticed. Not that it would really bother me that I wasn't his first one. It was just kinda unfair, since I'm completely inexpereinced. "Believe me, I really have no idea what I'm doing." The thought of being not the only one here soothed me pretty much.
Langa let go of one of my hands again and pulled me in a hug with his one. He was so near, that I could hear his trembling breath. And there was it. Langa gave me a quick peck on the cheek. Almost too quick. He stepped back to face me. His blush faded a bit. "It wasn't that har-" "That doesn't count, you idiot!"
I couldn't stand this tension anymore. I let go of him and cupped his soft, pale face in my hands. "What are you-" Before he could end his sentence I put a peck on his nose. And a wet smooch on his cheek. And a wet smooch on the other one. Sloppy smooches were placed all over Langa's face, while he hold onto my jacket and laughed lovely, which let my legs melt like candle wax. So much that I was scared that I would collapse any second.
And I couldn't help but fall again for this man. Fall for his personality. Fall for his stupidity. And fall for his shy smile. I looked at his trembling, rosy lips. Licking mine, which were already dry, and placed another kiss on the beautiful smile of his. Langa startled at that, I could hear a surprised gasp escaping his throat.
I pulled him back from me again. You could notice how speechless he was. With a proud grin I glared up to him, knowing exactly that I was the only one who could make him feel this way. "Let's go home now", I said, while giggling in amusement that Langa proceeded to stay this overwhelmed.
We skatet from there on, because it was really late already. But we didn't stop talking. Lively as usual. At one point Langa asked the next stupid, like really stupid question: "Is gay marriage in Japan legal, by the way?" "What?" "What?" I didn't know for sure, to be honest. And we left this question there like that...for now at least.
After this long night, we finally arrived at Langa's home. "Okay, see ya' I guess." I didn't want to let go of his warm hands, they were so soft and had the magic to calm me and let my heart race at the same time. "Yeah, see you tomorrow."
Langa was about to leave, but turned around one last time. "Reki, do you regret going home together home with me instead driving to S? Because I don't. I really liked this, this evening maybe was the best one in my life. Only being with you brings me that much joy. I want you to know that." I smiled in awe. "Same goes for me." Langa laughed. He sounded tired, but it still was like a comforting kiss that made my heart melt. "I'm glad. I better sneak in now before my mom notices I'm not home." "Haha. yeah, good-" My words got cut off by lips placing themself on mine. Goddnight-kisses really were a thing I could get used to. "Bye!" The last things I saw were ocean eyes before Langa disappeared in the dark.
"-night" As soon I realized that Langa was gone, letting me alone in the dark, I started to squeal. I sounded like a squirrel or a teenage girl when her crush noticed her, maybe something in-between. I let everything out, trying to be not so loud and wake the neighbours. I jumped on my skateboard and drove home as fast as I could. Only then I realized that I didn't feel the pain anymore. Skating felt as easy as it used to be.