Archive of Our Own

“Okay, that’s it,” Jirou yelled as she stormed into Ashido’s room, “I want that grape fucker gone!” 

“I’ll grab the shovel,” Hagakure joked, half-serious. She dropped her pencil from her position on the floor where she’d been finishing her math homework. Ashido dramatically leaned back in her desk chair. The other girls in 1-A were huddled together in the bright pink room. Yaoyorozu sat next to Ashido as they discussed their upcoming art history project. Uraraka had been painting Asui’s nails and discussing hand-to-hand techniques. They had been waiting on Jirou to finish meeting with Cementoss about some questions she had on their latest literature test and were planning a girls’ night sleepover. 

“We can’t get away with murder, we’re too supervised in the dorms,” Uraraka commented off-hand. She poked her tongue out in concentration as she painted a stripe on Asui’s pinky finger. 

“I am above supervision,” Hagakure pointed out. She waved an invisible arm for emphasis. Ashido snapped her fingers in realization. 

“We don’t have to kill him, we can just bury him alive.” 

“Oooh, an excellent point.” 

“What did Mineta do now?” Asui interrupted before they devolved into trying to convince the others to use Hagakure as an assassin. Again. 

Jirou huffed and dropped to the floor next to Hagakure. 

“The little creep ran into me in the hallway and squeezed my ass,” Jirou grumbled. Yaoyorozu frowned in concern. 

“Are you okay?” 

“No! I’m sick of this!” She exclaimed. She threw her hands out and fell back on the floor. “He played it off like an accident but he had this look on his face. The punchable look.” 

“He’s so gross,” Ashido complained. Yaoyorozu nodded beside her. “Literally no one likes him. Punching him would be a favor to society.” 

“It is surprising that he hasn’t been expelled yet.” 

“Aizawa-sensei threatens expulsion every other day! You’d think he would’ve yeeted the pervert out of class by now.” Hagakure rolled over so she was also on her back beside Jirou then grabbed an open bag of gummy bears to offer the frustrated girl. Jirou grabbed a handful and half-smiled at the invisible girl in thanks. 

“Do you think he seriously has the highest expulsion rate? There are rumors about it but he hasn’t expelled anyone yet,” Ashido asked. 

“Methinks he doth protest too much,” Uraraka said then blew on Asui’s nails to dry them. 

“You know Shakespeare?” Yaoyorozu asked, surprised. Uraraka shrugged in embarrassment. 

“Wait, though,” Jirou interrupted. “Seriously. Aizawa says they don’t put up with nonsense at UA but all Mineta’s been doing here is straight-up nonsense.” 

“Maybe because his hero potential isn’t zero?” Hagakure asked skeptically. At once, all of the girls scrunched their faces in distaste. 

“He was able to help us restrain the villains at the USJ, kero...eventually,” Asui recalled. She had already told the others her experience with Midoriya and Mineta in the flood zone. Honestly, she believed they would have been fine without Mineta but she supposed that having the villains captured was better than letting them roam around to find the other students. 

“...he beat Midnight-sensei during final exams?” Uraraka offered with the most uncomfortable look on her face. 

“So he was able to do one minorly useful thing and also pass an exam he was required to regardless?” Ashido scoffed. She’d always been vocal about shaming Mineta and was one of the first to call him out to his face, not that the others hadn’t had their share of berating him. No threats were made (yet) but she was starting to lean more towards evisceration as an option for dealing with the tiny boy. The other 1-A girls blamed the Bakusquad’s influence. (Kirishima, if he knew, would immediately claim that Ashido just came Like That.) 

“Aizawa-sensei always tries to find the best in us, though. Or at least bring out the best in us.” 

“Is there anything best about Mineta?”

“Best creep!” Jirou called. 

“Best size to be thrown out the window?” Uraraka asked. Ashido cackled and mimed chucking a bag. She nudged Yaoyorozu who giggled. 

Jirou hummed. “...is it wrong to wish he’d never joined our class? We’ve all been through a lot this year but I just, ugh, I can’t stand him. ” 

A chorus of agreement echoed through the room. 

“School would’ve been a lot more enjoyable.” 

“True.”

“He cries over every difficult thing!” 

“He cried when he was paired up with Ojiro for the last training exercise.” 

“I mean, Ojiro did beat his ass.” 

“Praise be to our lovely Tailman.” 

“Hagakure, your simp is showing.” 

“Hey!” 

“Still, it’s regrettable that Mineta’s in the top of our class academically.” 

“He’s last in personality.”

“Ooooooh, ‘Raka, nice burn!” 

The girls devolved into laughter as Uraraka posed, flexing her biceps and Ashido sarcastically snapping her fingers.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with him today, Jirou-chan,” Asui said. Jirou sighed and sat up. 

“It’s kind of sad, but I’m used to it at this point. I knocked him over after he copped a feel so there’s that at least.” 

“The shovel is on standby,” Hagakure swore. They giggled once more. 

“I must say, maybe we should just...ask Aizawa-sensei about Mineta,” Yaoyorozu pointed out. “If we brought up what he’s been doing, then the teachers would have to do something.” 

A pause. Ashido and Asui looked at each other in commiseration. 

“It’s not like the teachers are blind. They had to have seen something already, right?” 

“It does seem strange, kero.” 

“It wouldn’t hurt to try,” Uraraka said. She smiled tentatively. “We can bring it up on Monday?” 

“Yeah! Let’s talk about less disgusting things. That’s no way to start off girls’ night,” Ashido teased. 

“Aren’t you the one saying it’s not girls’ night without threats of violence?” 

“Who, me? Never!” 

Jirou chucked a pillow at Ashido who ducked and cackled. The rest laughed and settled in for their plans of schoolwork, movies, and self-care. The last thing they wanted to waste time on was one Mineta Minoru, even if he was the biggest pain in their sides. And they’ve dealt with honest-to-god villain ambushes. Multiple times. 

----

Yaoyorozu and Jirou were elected to talk to Aizawa after class on Monday. Jirou, since she was the most recent recipient of Mineta’s disgusting behavior, and Yaoyorozu since she was class vice president and overall the Responsible One. They approached their homeroom teacher as he was gathering up his sleeping bag with the energy of a man expecting a long week. 

“Sensei, could we please have a moment of your time?” Yaoyorozu asked. Aizawa frowned but waved them closer to where he was sitting. At first glance, their teacher seemed as exasperated as ever. But Jirou would call foul; she knew Aizawa was a secret softy, ever since she heard him playing a hand-clapping game with Eri in the dorms. A man who defended his class against a horde of villains and also happily read bedtime stories to his unofficially adopted daughter was someone they knew would listen. 

Which was why she was a little mad that she had to bring up the problem in the first place. Just a bit. 

“It’s about Mineta,” Jirou began and instantly Aizawa’s eyes sharpened. 

“What happened?” He asked. 

Jirou took a deep breath and described the incident on Friday in the hallways. She knew her cheeks were flushed in anger and mild humiliation when she recalled how Mineta had commented she “actually had a decent ass.” Yaoyorozu reached out to squeeze her shoulder in sympathy and she tried to reign herself in. Aizawa was scowling fiercely when she finished. 

“I’m sorry, Jirou. I’ll deal with him,” the teacher promised. She fidgeted in place, slightly relieved, but had to ask. 

“Sensei, this isn’t the first time he’s done this kind of thing. Why hasn’t he been expelled yet?”

“It’s...well, it’s a complicated matter. Unfortunately.” The teacher glared at the top of his desk. Yaoyorozu cleared her throat. 

“Would you elaborate, sensei? We feel,” Yaoyorozu glanced at Jirou for assistance in finding the right words. 

“Uncomfortable as hell,” she finished. 

“Yes, um, that. With Mineta’s behavior. He’s made comments to all of our female classmates and he’s repeatedly tried to peep in bathrooms or locker rooms.” 

“I’m sorry,” he said. He looked up. His gaze was intense. “I hadn’t known. He’s already been talked to. I want to do more but unless we get more evidence, my hands are regrettably--” he gritted his teeth, “tied. 

“That’s not fair!” Jirou yelled but immediately clamped her mouth shut when she realized she just lost her temper at a teacher. 

Aizawa only sighed. “It isn’t.” 

“He’s already been talked to?” Yaoyorozu picked up on his statement. Jirou scowled in confusion. The grape fucker had already been reprimanded? Yet suffered no consequences? 

Aizawa pinched the bridge of his nose before glancing up and scrutinizing the two teenagers in front of him. Jirou fought the urge to fidget. 

“Alright. Yes, Mineta has already received a warning for his behavior at the beginning of the year. His official file has been noted but unfortunately, we don’t have any physical proof of his behavior which is something we’d need in his particular case. He’s been careful in front of the teachers ever since the warning.” 

“But--but--what about the training camp? He tried to peek over the bath walls and that little kid was hurt!” 

“What do you mean by ‘his particular case’?” 

Jirou was glad their lord and savior Momo was there to keep her on track because she had almost missed that detail in her righteous anger. 

“‘His particular case’ means that Mineta has...a special circumstance here at school. UA has a board of directors that the school must answer to. Mineta’s uncle is one of the board members. The school has always been pressured to keep to a certain standard regardless of what Principal Nedzu wants to do, it’s why we still have that illogical entrance exam. Expelling a family member of the board would require a lot of evidence in order to prevent a political nightmare. It’s stupid, but without proper proof, his uncle would wave any testimony off as gossip. As for the training camp, well.” Aizawa grimaced. “Everything that happened at the end took more precedence. I should have handled him in the follow-up but I failed to do so. I apologize.” 

Their teacher bowed his head. Jirou startled. 

“No, you’re right, there was a lot happening on that trip! Um, sensei, you don’t have to apologize.” 

“No, I do. I don’t want any of you feeling uncomfortable or unsafe in this school. There's not much I can do at the moment but that doesn’t mean I can’t find evidence and bring this to the principal’s attention.” 

“Doesn’t the principal have like a million cameras around the school?” 

“He doesn’t. He has cameras around the access points of the buildings but he trusts in the teachers and students’ privacy.” 

“Aizawa-sensei,” Yaoyorozu began. Jirou immediately identified her calculating face. “What would be needed to get Mineta expelled?” 

“Unfortunately, visual or audio proof of his words or actions. We’d need enough to build a solid case instead of the old ‘boys will be boys’ excuse some geezers like to pull.” Aizawa rolled his eyes. Jirou and Yaoyorozu felt true solidarity in that expression. “But I don’t want him to harass any of you more than he has. I’ll figure something out.” 

“Is Mineta’s uncle really that powerful? Would you get in trouble for trying to expel him?”

“He has a lot of leeway on the board. He’s a politician first and foremost so I guarantee he uses his nephew being in the hero course as bragging rights. He’d fight tooth and nail to keep Mineta in the school but I want you to know something. Your safety and well-being as my students are far more important.” 

The ever-tired teacher who seemed harsh on the surface but warm underneath was planning on potentially risking his career for them. Jirou almost sniffled with emotion. Yaoyorozu clasped her hands tightly in front of her, nervous. 

“...should you be telling us all of this?” 

“Like you said, this situation isn’t fair. Unfortunately, the world isn’t fair, but remember. It’s our job as heroes to make it a little more balanced.” Aizawa smirked as he repeated the words from his first quirk test with this class. “I trust you won’t go spreading this around but it’s only right for you to know the situation. Especially with how we’ve failed you as teachers.”

“Anything we can do to help, please ask,” Yaoyorozu tried. 

Aizawa drummed his fingers on the desk before hauling himself out of his chair. 

“Bring up anything else that happens to a teacher. We haven’t been catching him so we need your guidance on when he’s acting that way. But for now, go back to the dorms and get some rest. I’ll talk with the other teachers.”

“Yes, sensei!” They chorused. 

“Oh,” he said before he left through the door. He paused for a long second and quirked an eyebrow when he looked back at them. Jirou felt like his stance changed. Something less teacher. Something she's seen when he talked about his cases as an Underground hero. “Just remember, forcing him to leave might require a lot of evidence and an uphill battle.”

“Okay…?” Jirou asked, both girls confused. They’d wear body cameras everywhere if they had to in order to stop the little pervert. They knew Aizawa would fight for them. 

“You all are innovative, that’s all I’m saying,” and with a nod, Aizawa left the classroom in the direction of the teacher’s lounge. Yaoyorozu and Jirou looked at each other and shrugged. 

When they returned to the dorm, Jirou texted their group chat to meet after dinner. They piled into Uraraka’s room, Hagakure and Ashido idly speculting about a rumored joint training session that might be happening while they all split a box of specialty mochi their vice president brought. Yaoyorozu got everyone’s attention and explained their encounter with Aizawa. Asui frowned and pressed a finger to her mouth. 

“It makes sense. He had to have some kind of support to be able to stay in the hero course with how he acts.” 

“How’d he even pass the exam?” Hagakure asked. “He wasn’t a recommendation student.”

“It’s kind of unbelievable. Though Aizawa-sensei is right, the exam is a little biased,” said Uraraka. 

“Out of curiosity, how’d you pass the exam?” Jirou asked Hagakure, curious. 

“It’s a long and harrowing tale full of stealth and near-death experiences but basically...I whacked them real hard.” Hagakure waved her arms around. 

“...fair enough.” 

“You could say...they never saw it coming.” 

“Tsuyu, do you have the count for this month's pun violations?” 

“I think that’s the fifth for this month, kero. The fine is 500 yen.”

“Pay up!” 

“Aw, man.” 

“Stop making it so easy, Tooru-chan!” Ashido sing-songed. Hagakure slouched, obviously pouting but passing over the yen to Asui who would put the money into a shared jar. They used the money for buying snacks for their movie nights, even if Yaoyorozu always offered to pay. 

“So what should we do?” Uraraka asked. “He’s obviously only in heroics for the babes .” She sneered in disgust at the last word. Yaoyorozu grimaced as well. 

“He’d be a good apprehension hero if he actually tried, but he has a terrible personality.”

“Seems like anyone can be a hero nowadays regardless of personality. Just look at Bakugou,” Uraraka said, remembering Bakugou loudly threatening Kaminari just a few hours ago in class. The girls shared a commiserating look. 

Ashido put up a token protest for her friend but she knew that until he fully committed to the anger management therapy she and the squad weren’t supposed to know about, Bakugou would still forever be the class asshole. She mentally shrugged and promised to help the blonde in his self-journey but she’d absolutely dunk on him to the girls in the process. 

“Momo, can you make cameras for all of us? Maybe some voice recorders?” 

“Yes, I should be able to. I’d want to check on some blueprints first to make the devices small enough.” 

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m not super jazzed that we’ll have to wear a camera 24/7,” said Ashido. Jirou snorted. 

“You just don’t want proof of your pranks.” 

“I’m not saying anything without a lawyer present.” 

“I’m sure you wouldn’t have to wear it all the time,” Asui soothed. 

“Knowing Mineta, he’d give us enough evidence in a week.” 

“Ugh,” several of them groaned. 

“It sucks we have to put up with him until we have enough proof.” 

“We’ve put up with him this long, kero.” 

“So we keep on trooping, huh?” Jirou asked to no one in particular. 

Uraraka reached over and patted her hand in sympathy. “I don’t want to put up with him for one more second but if we need to be the bait, we can reel him in for some consequences.” 

Jirou and Asui both hummed. 

“What do you think the likelihood is that he’d actually get expelled? You have connections,” Ashido asked Yaoyorozu. She sighed and absent-mindedly worried at her cuticles. 

“I am not sure. UA is the most prestigious hero academy in the country. The board surely has a lot of power. If Mineta has that kind of familiarity with people who decide our education, the situation may get...tense.” 

“Tense?” 

“Aizawa-sensei kind of implied it would be a ‘he-said-she-said’ situation if we didn’t have proof.” Jirou twirled one of her earjacks. 

“So we just get evidence like we’re planning,” said Hagakure. She pulled out another mochi from the snack box then handed it to Uraraka. 

The Gravity quirk user accepted the box but didn’t take out a treat. She frowned at her hands. “If Mineta is really related to the board of directors, would it matter what kind of video we got?” 

“What do you mean?” 

Uraraka turned to Ashido. “Back in my middle school, the principal had a son. The boy said another student stole and copied his essay, even though the other student said he didn’t. He tried to show proof of when he wrote the essay on his laptop but he still got reprimanded and a mark for cheating.” 

“Oh my god, that’s awful! You think something like that would happen here?” 

“It could happen anywhere,” she said, shrugging self-consciously. “People with money and power can do a lot of things that the rest of us can’t.” 

Yaoyorozu frowned and rubbed her knuckles in a moment of guilt. Uraraka noticed her friend’s mood and hopped off her bed to sit next to the other girl on the floor. She nudged shoulders and offered a gentle smile. Yaoyorozu smiled back. 

“It’s better to have evidence than not have it at all. We should still try to help Aizawa-sensei build a case, kero.” 

“Hey, didn’t Aizawa-sensei say not to spread this around?” Hagakure asked. 

“Well, he obviously meant outside of this group.” 

“I..don’t know about that.” 

“Too late!” 

“I do wonder what he meant at the end, though,” Yaoyorozu mumbled. Uraraka, leaning against her shoulder, asked her to repeat it. 

The taller girl repeated verbatim what their teacher had said before leaving. Ashido’s brow creased in confusion. 

“But that sounds like he doesn’t want to force Mineta to leave?” 

“That can’t be right. He was really serious about taking care of this,” Jirou said. 

“It’s just odd that he’d say that after talking about building a case and needing video.” 

“What are the options besides expelling Mineta? Keeping him in class? No thank you.” 

“Transferring, maybe?”

“If he transfers to class 1-B, we’re just passing the problem over to them, kero. That’s not fair.” 

“You’re right. Same if he gets pushed to general education.” 

“Aizawa-sensei,” Uraraka complained to thin air, “what does your statement even meeeeeaaaaan?” 

“Mineta staying is not an option. Expelling him is our best bet. It’s not like he’s going to just up and quit,” Hagakure pointed out. 

“That’s it!” Ashido suddenly exclaimed. Yaoyorozu’s eyes lit up in understanding. 

“You’re right,” she breathed. 

“Share with the class?” Jirou asked. 

“We can gather evidence for expelling him. But there’s a chance that his fancy-ass uncle will try to fight us. It’ll be us versus them and it might drag on forever. Buuuuuut…” Ashido trailed off, turning to grin at Yaoyorozu who picked up her sentence. “But, there won’t be a case if Mineta resigns on his own.” 

“After everything that coward has been through already, what makes you guys think he’d drop out now?” Jirou asked. 

Uraraka cackled out of nowhere. She leaned back on her hands and smiled sharply. The other girls were suddenly reminded of her debut sports festival fight where she literally dropped a meteor shower on her competitor. 

“I know how to get him to quit.”

“Tell us, boss.” Ashido and Hagakure squealed, rubbing their hands together. Would they need to get the shovel out of storage? 

“Simple: psychological warfare.” 

----

The first step was easy. 

Yaoyorozu gave them each a small button camera that Ashido helped sew onto their school uniforms. They each had a backup camera for any time they were out of uniform but they’d agreed to try to get the most footage at school as it would have the most impact on reflecting Mineta’s behavior. 

But the real kicker of the first step came with the watching. 

They knew Mineta stared at each of them. Hell, he stared at any girl or woman he saw, most of the time with drool coming out the side of his mouth. Any time of day, it was a given that Mineta was most likely checking someone out. So, they watched him back. 

The girls switched the designated watcher each class period. No one wanted to disrupt their lessons so they’d devised a method to keep all of the girls in the loop on their notes. They were each assigned a class or a certain time and were able to act as they liked. Jirou openly stared at him with disgust which caused him to sweat every time he glanced in her direction. Asui mastered the dead-eyed stare to unnerve the perv.  Both Uraraka and Ashido smirked meanly at him when it was their turn with varying levels of unholy glee in their expressions. Yaoyorozu watched him as if he was a bug she was dissecting, full of cold indifference and criticism. Hagakure was less noticeable for obvious reasons but she also joined in, still staring hard enough to give Mineta the feeling he was being watched. She took extensive liberties in pulling the meanest faces she could, silently giggling to herself. 

Every time the short boy would peek at one of the girls’ legs or chest, he’d catch the gaze of another pinning him down. The first day confused him the most but he, in some sort of undeservingly inflated pride, took the attention as a compliment. Until he noticed how hostile their stares were. Before, all of the girls in 1-A had utilized the “ignore him until he goes away” method mostly because any time spent on Mineta was generally a waste. The boy was unsettled enough the first few times to be awkward when making eye contact but quickly they all realized how little he made eye contact with the girls anyway. 

They continued this routine for three days. They didn’t react any differently than usual in the dorms, to everyone’s confusion. 

Quickly enough, the rest of the class and teachers caught on to their antics. Kaminari and Kirishima hesitantly asked Ashido if she was okay. Midoriya, Iida, and Todoroki all shared silent glances at seeing their two friends glare down Mineta, knowing that if Asui--their friend group’s general impulse control--was angry, then it was best to let them destroy whatever they needed to and they’d provide alibis. Todoroki had tried to awkwardly ask Yaoyorozu what was happening as he’d come to consider her a friend too, but she simply smiled and waved the heterochromatic boy off (much to his relief). He’d also provide an alibi for her if she needed it. Ojiro and Shoji warned a few of the others off from interfering as well, knowing that their friends Hagakure and Jirou could be sneaky, but also joined in on randomly glaring at Mineta in solidarity.

None of the teachers said anything, if only out of curiosity. Whichever girl was designated as watcher still managed to pay attention and turn in their work so most teachers decided to let the situation go. They’d all been informed by Aizawa about Mineta’s continuing gross behavior. Midnight and Present Mic in particular said absolutely nothing about the girls’ behavior. 

This silence from the teachers and growing tension among the 1-A boys only heightened Mineta’s uncomfortable feeling. By the fourth day, Kaminari had asked the shorter boy what he’d done to piss everyone off, even if he knew in his heart the exact reason why no one was happy with Mineta. Hell, he wasn’t happy with Mineta--having been thoroughly lectured by Ashido and Jirou on some of his previous “fuckboy” behaviors--but since he was more sociable than some other classmates, he’d elected himself to ask. Mineta had giggled and told some story about all of the girls wanting a piece of him. 

Kaminari didn’t bring up the uneasy look in his eyes and left it alone. 

But the new atmosphere in class and in the dorms created a nice segue for their second step. 

Destroy his confidence. 

“He’s got enough short-comings, it should be easy,” Jirou had said when they were first planning. 

“Hehe, short.” 

“Mina, please.” 

To do this, they secretly enlisted a few of their classmates who were none the wiser. They made sure to compliment all of the others for their strength, smarts, or charisma. Then immediately glance at Mineta and sneer. The girls strategically complimented the boys they were friends with to reduce how odd it might seem, but they did earnestly mean each bit of praise. Plus it was fun to truthfully compliment the shyer guys like Kouda or Tokoyami and see them blush. A new tally had been added to their group chat as a side effect of how the boys reacted. Midoriya and Kouda were tied for most flustered. 

Mineta characteristically whined about the other boys getting all of the attention. He hadn’t caught on to the follow-up mean looks until the fifth time when Asui complimented Todoroki on his continuously inventive quirk use then slowly, deliberately turned her head to glare at Mineta nearby. The shorter boy paled and Todoroki curiously thanked his friend before awkwardly walking away when Asui only said “you’re welcome” while still glaring at Mineta. 

Uraraka then implemented the linchpin to destroy his confidence. She and Asui both knew the secret weapon their class held and warned the girls that they might have to read someone in on their plan in order for this part to not backfire. The girls easily agreed when they discovered that they wanted to bring Midoriya in on the plan, but some were confused. 

Sitting in Jirou’s room with Midoriya, they outlined what they were trying to do. Midoriya was angry on their behalf when he heard that Mineta hadn’t been properly punished because of his family relations, mumbling about “he hoped this school wouldn’t also be like that,” and other phrases that even Jirou with her advanced hearing couldn’t make out. A determined glint in his eye made his friends smile. When he demanded to be able to help, the smiles turned evil. 

Midoriya approached Mineta the next day during the break with an easy-going smile and one of his notebooks. Yaoyorozu stayed behind to “study” and record the conversation. 

“Hey, Mineta! How’s it going?” Before the shorter boy could say anything in response, Midoriya beamed. “Great! I actually wanted to run something by you. A few people have approached me about a quirk analysis and I decided to ask around the class if everyone wanted one. It’s not anything professional but I like to think I’m thorough!” 

Yaoyorozu had to delicately hide her laugh as a cough when she heard that. Midoriya had passed one of his notebooks around last night when Uraraka swore they’d be detailed and the entry on her Creation quirk was incredibly intricate. She’d have to tell her sunshine classmate that yes, actually, his analysis was on par with the professional she had seen several years ago. Better, actually, since she now had several new ideas on costume changes and more effective tools to create. Jirou almost cried laughing when Yaoyorozu finished reading her entry and stared into space with a reverent look, only whispering “I can make guns. ” 

“Uhhh, I guess? I don’t think I need one,” Mineta started. Midoriya frantically shook his head, still smiling.

“Oh, no, you do! It’s important for all of us as hero students to better ourselves. 

And then proceeded to unleash a torrent of information about Mineta’s quirk, fighting style, and psychology. Not once did he lose his pleasant expression. Yaoyorozu held a viewing party in her room later that night. Ashido cackled with glee at several choice phrases. 

“You need to learn to actually fight. Your Pop-off quirk is useful for capture but can easily be counteracted with a simple oil-based product. The effectiveness of the balls is only good as long as they last, which I’m assuming will be short. A villain can easily slip out of their shoes if they’re stuck to the ground. Do you have a backup plan for when they continue to escape?” 

“How many of these can you create at once? What’s the regeneration period? How long until they leave your head to the balls become sticky? They’d need to have some kind of activation time otherwise your head would be stuck to everything. How do you sleep? Alone? I mean, is there a special pillowcase or something that you need if your quirk is active even on your head? How do these stick, is it a secreted substance? Do you think the mass of your quirk on your head stunted your growth?” 

“You should think of a plan for cleaning up your quirk. It’ll be a public nuisance if any of the balls are left for civilians to walk into. You may get fined. That’s something you’ll have to be extremely careful about in your hero career, you can’t be careless.” 

“Maybe change the design from a reinforced diaper. You already look like an elementary school kid and no one will take you seriously. Also no one is going to want merchandise centered around leather and diapers.”

The flood of analysis left Mineta red-faced and unsure of how to respond. Midoriya simply stared at him for a second, waiting for an answer, before sighing and snapping his notebook closed. He continued on with his angelic smile.

“Oh, well, just think about some of this and get back to me! It’s important for a hero to always be thinking about these things. If you can’t grow your quirk or your capabilities, you might be an unpopular sidekick forever. It’ll be a lot of work, but you can do it if you strictly focus on training! Plus ultra!” 

Yaoyorozu quickly followed Midoriya out of the room and giggled. Mineta was left looking as if he was questioning all of his life choices. 

“That felt a little mean,” Midoriya said to Asui and Uraraka later at lunch. “But also kind of good? He deserves it.” 

“Hell yeah!” Uraraka exclaimed, while Asui shook her head and said, “I bet you were still nice.” 

“Do Bakugou next!” 

“I value my life, thanks.” 

As the girls’ warfare raged, they still collected video evidence of Mineta following them around with a creepy look on his face. He was caught on camera talking about wanting to peep in the girls’ locker room but they hadn’t managed to get him actually attempting. They informed Aizawa of every instance of Mineta being gross. He only thanked them seriously and then looked faintly amused in class at their ongoing staredown. 

They were hoping to make the boy paranoid and unsettled. He looked rattled in the first two weeks, always checking his surroundings in class but relaxing when he was outside. His perverted behavior and comments continued but near the end of the second week, he was whinier than anything. He’d been overheard complaining to a reluctant Kaminari and Kirishima about the girls being cranky and “not at all hot, even if they look like they want a piece of this.” Kirishima had scolded Mineta for saying “unmanly things” but the smaller boy wasn’t paying attention. Jirou had described his nasally whining as “the most irritating thing in the world, I swear,” and listed out all of Mineta’s complaints. It seemed the boy was bothered but not enough to really rattle him. 

The following Friday, the girls wandered into the common room late at night with blankets and snacks. They’d cycled through all of their rooms recently and decided to stay in the living area as most of the other boys were doing their own things or already asleep. Their latest strategy meeting would have to be quiet in case of eavesdroppers but they were already mentally exhausted. 

Hagakure flopped onto the couch. 

“Psychological warfare can’t work on a man without a brain,” she despaired. 

“It’s a process,” Uraraka conceded. 

“I just want it to have results, you know?” 

“It’s freaking him out but not enough. ” 

“Should we mess with him in the dorms, too?”

“I don’t know…” Yaoyorozu said, pondering. She didn’t want to start an incident that could be misconstrued. The dorms were school property but they were more personal. “This is our private space.” 

“That doesn’t stop him from being weird in the dorms!”

“So we escalate,” declared Jirou. Ashido raised a fist in solidarity. They turned to Uraraka who shrugged. 

“I’m good to escalate but we’d need to think of something. We don’t want him complaining to the teacher or the school board.” 

They grimaced at the thought, not having occurred to them that if they take it too far then Mineta could potentially retaliate. 

“Besides, I don’t think we honestly want to bully him,” Asui pointed out. Ashido immediately shook her head. 

“No way, bullying isn’t cool. But he deserves some punishment! We’re always on edge and we feel unsafe around him, why can’t he feel the same way?” 

She huffed and wrapped her leopard print blanket tighter around her. The other girls nodded or reached out to reassure the pink-skinned girl. 

“Who’s turn is it for the movie?” Jirou asked, throwing popcorn in the air and catching it in her mouth. Uraraka wiggled and exclaimed, “me!” while pulling a DVD case from the side. 

“My dad loves this movie! His grandfather showed it to him when he was young so he always plays it but he sent me the DVD in my parent’s last care package.” 

“Aw, that’s cute!” 

“Oooh, a pre-quirk movie.” 

“Isn’t this an American holiday movie?”

“I wonder if Mic-sensei will give us extra credit for watching it.” 

“Well I’m not gonna be watching it in English, so, probably not.” 

They giggled and bickered as the movie began, deciding to put Mineta on the backburner since they couldn’t immediately put him in the garbage where he belonged. Asui offered to make hot chocolate despite the warm weather when Ashido mentioned now being in a festive mood. All six of them laughed and curled up while they watched the main character get left behind from a family vacation. 

“That’s kind of sad. Is that an American thing, you think?” Jirou lightly threw a piece of popcorn at Hagakure to keep her from interrupting. Uraraka was silently mouthing certain lines alongside the actors, Asui glancing over and smiling at the girl’s visible happiness in a family tradition shared with her friends. Yaoyorozu and Ashido were both completely wrapped in blankets, only the pink tuft of hair and black eyes visible for the Acid quirk user. 

“Oh, my,” Yaoyorozu exclaimed when the robbers were first electrocuted. The girls heckled the criminal characters as they fell for every one of the young boy’s traps and were finally escorted away by police. Ashido let out a small “awww” when the family was finally reunited. 

“Good choice, Chako-chan!” She said when the credits were rolling. Said girl beamed back and thanked her. 

“Kevin McAllister would be a clever but weird hero,” their resident heiress finally declared. Asui nodded. “Traps can be pretty good for hero work but they wouldn’t be very practical to set up on the fly.” 

“I don’t know how effective it’d be for everyday villains but it sure can ruin someone’s day. I liked the paint can,” Jirou smirked. But then paused. 

“Wait a minute.” The others turned to her curiously. “It can ruin someone’s day, right? When a bunch of little things go wrong, it’s stressful. It feels like an attack and like you’re never safe from karma. Right?”

“Okay?” 

“I guess.” 

“Ladies, I have an Idea.” 

-----

Mineta woke up around the same time every morning, usually to try to see the girls in their pajamas, so when he zoomed out of his room on Saturday morning, Midoriya was already leaving his room under the guise of training. The green-haired boy was then able to see the short boy walk straight into the plastic wrap that was covering the front of his doorway. 

“Bwuah,” Mineta gurgled when his speed was interrupted and he was thrown to the floor. 

“Oh no!” Midoriya said, resisting the urge to ask if he was okay. “What’s this?” 

“The hell?” Mineta asked when he crawled back up. He tried pushing the plastic wrap off of the door sill but it was sturdier than a standard wrap. “Who did this?” 

“Need help?” Midoriya offered. He grabbed the wrap and yanked until it came off. He’d have to compliment Yaoyorozu on the composition when he saw her next. 

“Thanks, dude,” Mineta said, remembering his self-imposed mission and waddling to the elevators, mumbling about “PJ shorts” and conveniently leaving his door unlocked. Midoriya watched the boy scurry off in consternation at his naivety before bracing himself and turning the door handle. 

He’d swallowed down his disgust and agreed to go into Mineta’s room when Uraraka asked him for a favor. He didn’t know all of the details of this next phase of plan “Get Mineta to Leave” but he knew a few others had been conscripted to the cause. 

Midoriya completed his tasks quickly, trying not to touch any surface in the sweaty-smelling room. He gagged and left the room at Mach speed. 

Downstairs, Mineta was already sputtering at his tea. Hagakure smirked to herself while the boy was yelling about his tea being spicy--his usual blend having been swapped out. When he returned to his room, his fellow floormates heard him shout in frustration as he tried to open his clothes drawers to no avail, the edges having been secretly super-glued shut. He yelped when one of his shoes had a pushpin from the posters on his wall inside the sole. He burst into class several minutes late without a tie (his having mysteriously disappeared), causing Aizawa to scowl at him and make a note about his tardiness. Iida reprimanded him during class change but Mineta only whined in response. 

The staring was noticeably more aggressive throughout the day. All of the girls had decided on calculated malice and were glaring daggers periodically. Mineta tried to ask the closest, Yaoyorozu, why they were mad during group study in English but she simply looked him up and down and clicked her tongue. Offended, he stood in his seat like he usually did when he was about to yell before his chair collapsed beneath him. He dropped to the floor back-first, groaning in pain while Present Mic looked over.

“Little listener, you can’t go causing a disruption like that!” 

“Mic-sensei, shouldn’t you ask if I’m okay?” Mineta cried. Present Mic just flashed two thumbs up and his iconic grin. 

“I knew you’d power through! You’re a hero in training after all.” If Mineta had bothered to look up from his sprawled position on the floor, he may have seen the lack of sincerity on their English teacher’s face. But he continued to grumble until Present Mic asked someone to get another chair from storage. 

An unseen puddle soaked his new shoes. His history textbook was missing from his bag. Half of his bento lunch had somehow soured. 

Mineta ended the day exhausted and frustrated. The rest of the week continued with similar results. 

On Tuesday, Kouda’s rabbit chewed on several pieces of his homework, some pages completely unusable. The larger student had sheepishly apologized but Mineta only huffed and said he didn’t understand the other boy’s “stupid hand language.” The urinal he was using suddenly exploded at the pipe, causing a mess. His door handle fell apart the second he tried to turn it upon returning from class, a screw having snapped inside. When he tried to use the microwave, none of the buttons would work correctly and at last, the appliance simply shorted out, blowing sparks and smoke in Mineta’s face. Part of his eyebrow had been singed in the explosion. A phone number he’d never seen before simply texted him a “be careful :)” in the middle of the night, leaving him shaken. 

On Wednesday, a nondescript student knocked him over while riding a bicycle on his way to class. His uniform was covered in dirt and grass stains for the rest of the day while he loudly complained. He’d made it to class on time but Aizawa raised an eyebrow and questioned his “new look.” Mineta hadn’t realized that his soap had somehow turned his face a nasty orange color with darker spots streaked all around. Trying to scrub off his face in the school bathroom didn’t work--at first, the faucet handle broke, spraying him with water, and then the color wouldn’t fade from his skin. A bucket of dirty mop water fell from a window when he was walking outside. 

On Thursday, the cologne he put on every day and thought made him fancy was spiked with sugar to attract bugs. His body, still a splotchy orange, was now riddled with red bug bites. No less than three birds pooped on him during their outdoor training. He hadn’t noticed that the length of his cape had been altered, causing him to repeatedly trip over the longer fabric and crash to the ground. He received several static shocks whenever he grabbed something. There was a rancid, earthy smell in his room that he couldn’t air out no matter what he tried and he spent hours searching for the cause, unable to sleep. 

On Friday, the refrigerator handle burned him when he tried to make breakfast. He struggled to open his suddenly stuck gym locker until his hand slipped and he hit himself in the face. A phantom tug cut his belt in half, dropping his pants to the floor in front of the entire class. A support course student carrying a large box bumped Mineta, claiming she didn’t see him. Ectoplasm sprung a pop quiz on them that he hadn’t prepared for and he discovered that the pencils inside of his bag were all somewhat slimy. Midnight scolded him for disturbing her class with his high-pitched scream when he found a centipede in his pants pocket. By the end of the lesson, Mineta was face-down on his desk and blubbering about his grades and demonic bugs. 

Yet despite his high academic ranking, he was unobservant. The entire week, he never truly paid attention. He never noticed Jirou patting Kouda on the shoulder after the teenager whispered to certain animals. Or how buckets and debris would float in the air, weightless for a second before coming down. He never saw Kaminari carefully sending random electric waves to appliances or Ashido asking Sero to use his tape for a certain locker. Todoroki leaving the kitchen before he arrived for breakfast, Midoriya silently walking behind him to the bathroom and swapping shower products, Yaoyorozu paying several upperclassmen to be distractions or use a certain metal dismantling quirk. He never noticed the sudden increased appearance of the 1-B girls except to moon over their looks. Kendo was all too happy to offer her class’ assistance with their Phantom and Mushroom quirk users. 

By the end of Friday afternoon, Mineta was jumping at every noise and carefully slinking around corners. Their last training session for the week was another rescue race which Mineta came in last. He huffed his way to the finish line, bruised and exhausted, to return to the observation room and listen to Aizawa’s strict criticism on what he could’ve done better. He was in tears by the end to which Aizawa scolded him to pull himself together. 

As he was dismissed, he tripped over something sturdy but unseen, crashing face-first into a wall. He wailed in pain at his nose and curled onto the ground. He opened his eyes to see everyone but his teacher had already gone to the locker rooms. He locked eyes on Aizawa and held his hands to his bloody nose. 

“Someone just tripped me!” 

“I saw nothing but your own clumsiness,” Aizawa claimed, taking a long sip from his thermos. His dead-eyed stare unnerved Mineta who stood gobsmacked for several seconds. 

“Sensei!” He whined. 

“Go get changed then see Recovery Girl,” his teacher ordered with no inflection. The man immediately turned around and walked out of the training room. Mineta toddled out after him and didn’t hear the evil giggles from his hidden classmate still in the room. 

"Time for a finale," Hagakure whispered to herself and went off to find her phone, eager to update their mission group chat. 

“I’m cursed. I swear I’ve been cursed!” Mineta insisted to the rest of the guys later that day, trying to run after them as they returned to their classroom for their last period. 

“I don’t think curses exist,” Midoroya said, awkwardly shuffling further away from the odd-smelling boy. His aerosol deodorant was somehow spiked with pickle juice. 

“Curses exist but I’m not sure someone would go to the effort,” Todoroki said absent-mindedly. 'For Mineta' was heavily implied. Said nuisance turned to the stoic boy, happy for an ally and completely mistaken. 

“Todoroki-kun, don’t encourage him.” 

“No, I do believe curses exist. Historically speaking--”

“Todoroki-kun, please--” 

Before Mineta could interrupt and demand the two boys’ attention to his troubles, another text buzzed on his phone. The same mysterious cell number from before just said to meet at an empty classroom after school and that they knew what was happening to him. If he met with the mysterious texter, he’d receive information and  “a special surprise :)” causing him to immediately daydream about a busty girl professing her undying love for him. Ashido stared dumbfounded at his spacey expression, not believing him to actually be that gullible or conceited as she put the burner cell back in her bag. 

But yes, when the last bell rang, Mineta scurried off to try to make himself presentable in the bathroom, not knowing that one of Hatsume Mei’s classmates had rigged another faucet to burst as well. 

Mineta opened the door to the classroom with a skeevy look and sopping wet clothes, declaring something about a “hot mamacita” before he noticed all six of his female classmates standing in the room. 

“I knew you all couldn’t resist me,” he said, fingers to his chin and seconds away from a nosebleed. The girls all recoiled or grimaced. Uraraka gagged. 

“Ew, no. We have information on your ‘curse’ or whatever you’re calling it,” Jirou said. 

“A lot of things have been happening to you, haven’t they, kero? Accidents, explosions, things missing that you can’t explain."

“Yeah, how did you know--” His question was cut off as Asui placed down his missing history textbook on a desk. Ashido waved one of his missing ties. They all watched as the lightbulb clicked on in Mineta’s mind. 

“What the hell? Are you bitches the ones doing this?!” 

“Maybe, maybe not. There’s no proof,” said Hagakure. 

“You literally have my stuff!” 

“Do we? We just found this in the classroom.”

“That’s right, Momo. And even if there was proof, do you think it would matter?

“I’ll report you!” He yelled. 

They all stepped forward in sync, Mineta scrambling back in fear. 

“This is what it feels like to constantly be on edge, Mineta Minoru. To have to watch our backs because some little pervert is always looking to sneak a peek or be gross towards us. We can’t have a safe and fun school environment if we’re worried you’re going to be snooping on us in the locker rooms or making awful comments. So, if we can’t have that safe and fun school environment? Neither can you.” 

“Are, are you threatening me?!” Mineta stuttered, tears in his eyes. Uraraka took no small measure of satisfaction from that and grinned. 

“Not at all. We’re just giving you a head’s up. We’re going to do this every. Single. Day.” 

Mineta trembled. 

“You can’t do this, do you know who my uncle is?” He tried. Yaoyorozu smirked. 

“Oh, you mean Mineta Manami on the board of directors? I’m sure he’d be very interested in hearing about some of your behavior since starting at this school. How his dear nephew is tarnishing the family reputation by being a lecherous pervert. It wouldn’t look good for him, you understand.”

“We have all of this nifty camera footage of you too.” Jirou clicked through her phone and pulled up one of the many videos of Mineta making disparaging comments about one of their bodies during training. 

“What do you want from me?” The defeated boy whimpered. He sat on the ground, panicking at the thought of his uncle reprimanding him to save face. He’d applied because of his uncle, believing it to be an easy acceptance and he’d coast through to becoming a popular hero with a ton of fangirls. If his uncle was upset with him, that’d make it harder. He wanted his fangirls! 

“Leave U.A.” 

“No way!” He immediately shouted. 

“Do you even want to be a hero? Think about it. You’ll be fighting for your life daily. It’s non-stop work with very little free time. You’ll be responsible for innocent civilians and starting out as a sidekick means a lot of grueling work, maybe even more grueling than what you did for Mount Lady.” 

Mineta paused. He’d never been known for a can-do work ethic. He studied enough for good grades but it was more fun to chase babes than cram some books. His time with Mount Lady was hell, only being her servant and doing grunt work. He wanted to be well-known and loved by the ladies, not someone’s errand boy. 

“Look,” Asui said, calm and reasonable. Mineta didn’t realize she was only playing good cop. “Are you willing to risk your life? You’ve almost died and that’s not even as a licensed hero yet. You can’t be popular if you’re dead.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” he mumbled, frazzled. The stress of the past week caught up with him and his mind was fuzzy and exhausted. 

“Right!” Ashido exclaimed with a mean grin. “And we all know you wouldn’t last long as a hero anyway.” 

Mineta opened his mouth to protest but she held up her hand. “Nope, don’t want to hear it, shorty! Tell me honestly that you’d be willing to die for someone or that you’d even be able to work non-stop on patrol.” 

His teeth clicked shut.

“Exactly! You have no spine. But that’s okay, if you really, really want to still be a hero, we can just continue what we’ve been doing and call it training!” 

Mineta immediately paled at the thought of his week-long torture continuing for the rest of the year. Jirou crossed her arms in front of her. 

“If you want fame and fortune, try something other than heroics. Somewhere other than here.”

The girls circled him and for once in his life, Mineta Minoru wished he wasn't surrounded by beautiful women. 

“Nobody wants your sour grapes. We’re just reminding you of that.” 

“So,” Uraraka said, cracking her knuckles. “What’ll it be?” 

-----

“Everyone, this is Shinsou Hitoshi, he’ll be taking Mineta’s place in class.” 

The members of class 1-A cheered for the bewildered and pleased purple-haired boy standing at the front of the room. 

“Shinsou-kun, over here!” Midoriya called, waving him to his new seat. The rest of homeroom was spent introducing everyone to Shinsou and walking him through the basics of their heroics lessons to help the transfer student. People came and went from the desks by the window, walking around the room to talk between friend groups. Noticeably, the girls gathered around Asui’s desk across the room after greeting Shinsou and welcoming him with warm smiles. 

They all quietly congratulated each other on a job well done

Bakugou was looking at the group of girls out of the corner of his eyes, bemused and terrified. He’d coincidentally been in the hallway with Midoriya outside of the classroom where their classmates confronted the grape fucker and heard everything. Bakugou would never admit that he'd seen Aizawa skulking around at the other end of the hallway with the most savage grin on his face. 

Midoriya leaned over his desk when Shinsou was distracted with talking to Kaminari and nudged Bakugou. The blonde turned to glare at the other boy. Midoriya just glanced between him and the girls before saying, “you know, they took less than three weeks to crush his dream and make him quit.” 

A moment of silence hung heavy between them. Bakugou was begrudgingly impressed and appropriately terrified. Midoriya grimaced at no one in particular and stared at his former childhood friend. 

“Let’s agree to never piss them off.” 

Bakugou scowled at the implied threat before remembering the image of Mineta fleeing from the classroom in tears and urine-stained pants and how Aizawa's shoulders shook in silent laughter.

Hm. Better safe than sorry. 

“Damn right, nerd.” They carefully nodded at each other. 

And thus, the first of many tentative truces were formed between lifelong rivals.

“To victory,” Jirou said to her friends who grinned back at her. Asui raised her water bottle in a mock toast. Hagakure and Uraraka raised their fists while Ashido and Yaoyorozu beamed. They laughed, relieved, and spent the rest of the day in high spirits, never to think of Mineta Minoru ever again.