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The realization that Iwaizumi’s in love with his best friend doesn’t come like a bullet to his heart, but rather a slow acceptance. He’s always cared and been concerned for him, though he’s never felt that his feelings towards him were anything abnormal, then he finally understands. That, he’s in love with him. In love with Oikawa Tooru. His unnerving perfect hair, tendencies to overwork himself, the person who’s aiming to bring his team to nationals and the person who he’s held crying and has been held by when crying...
How does one cope with a crush on his best friend? The person he sees every day, confides all his troubles in, and has seen his lows and highs. Oikawa has always been someone he’d do anything for, (someone who he knows would also do the same for him in a heartbeat) but at what point did the lines between platonic and romantic become blurred? And why does the prospect of being in love with his best friend scare him anyways? Maybe it’s because he feels that if Oikawa looked at him a little too long he’d be able to figure out that he was head over heels in love with him.
But, he learns to deal with it. Despite how he may entertain his little fan club, Iwaizumi knows he’s not going anywhere—which is both good and bad for himself. Oikawa would be an unlikely person to pursue a relationship with anyone because of how focused he is on his career in volleyball. Iwaizumi remembers when they were teenagers when the other kids in their grade would talk about who the prettiest or handsome looking kids in their class were — Oikawa would always be uninterested, preferring to talk about volleyball plays or players. (Though, he was almost always mentioned on the lists.)
Also, Oikawa has a tendency to overwork himself. He’d taken notice of it early on in their friendship when he used to stay hours behind at practice trying to perfect things. Even after being yelled at to leave the gym, Oikawa would just go home to watch videos of either himself or someone else to see what he could improve or change. But, that’s what he has Iwaizumi for — to remind him that he's still human, to take breaks and rest. Lately, with the first semester’s end fastly approaching and finals, Iwaizumi knows that Oikawa hasn’t taken enough time away from school and volleyball for himself.
Currently, the two of them are over at Oikawa’s house, finishing homework, and Iwaizumi is starting to notice him getting restless. It’s a Friday night, and they both have an essay that is due on Monday night but Oikawa is the type of person to do everything as soon as it’s assigned. If it were anyone else, Iwaizumi would probably leave his studies till Sunday night, but he had asked him to come over to study with him. Iwaizumi didn’t feel like saying no, only to go on and do something boring by himself. Currently, he's hunched over his desk, furiously typing away at his computer. Occasionally, he’ll pause to look at his notes and evidence for his argument. Iwauzumi watches as Oikawa leans back in his chair in a boneless movement, letting out a silent groan as he drags his hands down his face, spacing out looking at the ceiling before hauling himself back into an upright position to continue typing.
Iwaizumi watches him, silently foregoing his homework, and sees that it’s all pretty obvious that he needs to take a break. A serious one — more than five minutes, away from the stress of his computer and phone — out somewhere Oikawa can just let himself be and relax. Over the past week Iwaizumi has seen him struggle to keep himself together as all his work piles up, and while taking Oikawa away right now might make him annoyed at first there’s a pretty good chance he isn’t actually getting much done. So, Iwaizumi tries to do it in the best way he knows.
First, he tries asking for Oikawa to take a break with him, but he has an idea that saying it straight forward won’t get him to move.
“Hey, we’ve been working for a while, do you wanna go get some water or something?”
It takes a minute or so for Oikawa to respond, and whether it’s because it takes a moment to register in his head or if he's just so lost in his thoughts that he forgot Iwaizumi was there, he doesn’t know. “Why don’t you go by yourself, because I’m fine,” Oikawa answers quietly as he keeps his eyes fixated on his computer.
Iwaizumi sighs, but he can already tell this probably won’t work. “Are you sure? Just come downstairs with me for a little bit.”
“No, I’m okay…” He mutters.
Iwaizumi frowns. Time for Plan B.
He slips his sweatshirt back on, picks up his coat and swings it on his back before looking over at the other male. Oikawa seems to be lost in thought again, hand trembling underneath a pencil as his hardened stare stays fixated on the unchanging google document. His hair falls slightly into his eyes, and Oikawa breaks the concentration to brush it away for a second before leaning forward to scroll up, but still not making any edits to the document. Iwaizumi looks over his shoulder and peers at it, trying not to disturb him for a small moment and sees the grey letters at the top confirming his thoughts. Oikawa hasn't made any edits to it in the past seven minutes. Iwaizumi takes hold of Oikawa’s office chair and pulls him back — in delayed surprise he yelps out a ”Iwa-chan!” — and while he’s far away Iwaizumi presses the power button on his computer, smiling as the screen turns back.
“What are you doing? I was working on my homework!” An affronted voice says from behind him.
“It can wait shittykawa, we’re taking a break.” Iwaizumi crosses his arms, turning around and leaning against his desk. He knows that he would have probably just stayed at his desk otherwise. “So get dressed in some clothes for outside.”
“Iwa I- where are we even going?” Oikawa stands up, crossing his arms as he looks at him with a scowl. He's still dressed in his school uniform, although when he came home he took off his blazer and sweatshirt. “I can’t just drop all of my homework just because you want me to go out with you.” Iwaizumi cringes at what his last few words could have meant, but Oikawa doesn’t seem to realize the implication.
“You’ve been on edge all day and I think rather than continuing to worry about it we should go out for a little bit to let you collect your thoughts. You need some time away from your computer, and besides, you have all of tomorrow and Sunday to get it done, so get dressed and meet me downstairs.” Iwaizumi says, moving to walk out the door. “If you aren’t there in the next ten minutes, I’ll pull you downstairs myself.” He hears him let out an exasperated noise as he shuts it.
Oikawa comes down the stairs just as Iwaizumi was about to go back for him, and unlike Iwaizumi who just put his coat over his practice clothes, he’s exchanged those for loose basketball shorts and a hoodie with a backpack hanging over his shoulder. Oikawa doesn't necessarily seem annoyed at him but also doesn’t say anything when he walks past him out the door. Iwaizumi follows him, sliding into the driver's seat of his car and motioning for him to do the same. He hasn’t had his license for that long, but he has gotten clearance to drive and this will be one of the first time’s he’s actually driven someone outside of his intermediate family.
(A small voice in his head says, “Figures it would be Oikawa.” But he ignores it in favour of pulling his seatbelt on.)
Oikawa gets in, buckling himself in after Iwaizumi and dropping his backpack between his feet, but seeing that Iwaizumi has yet to start the car up he gives him an unreadable look. Iwaizumi is prepared to ask what was the matter when he speaks first. “You don’t have any idea of where you’re going to take me, don’t you?”
Iwaizumi tries to speak again, letting out an inhuman sounding noise but another look from him keeps his mouth shut. “It’s fine, I’m not gonna go back upstairs.” Oikawa sighs, letting his head rest on his headrest. “As you said, I know I shouldn’t be continuing to stay up there if I’m just gonna space out and stare at my computer.”
Iwaizumi looks away from him out the window, partly embarrassed but feeling as if now is not the time to tack on a ‘I told you so.’ “Well I wouldn’t take you out to my car for no reason. I had a small idea to take you to get, like slushies but-” He groans, hands coming up to hide his face. “Now it feels stupid.”
Oikawa snickers and Iwaizumi feels the mood of the car lighten by tenfold. “Oh now, Iwa-chan’s getting embarrassed?”
“Oh shut up!” Iwaizumi shoves his shoulder.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Who cares, let’s go get slushies.”
So... they decide to get slushies.
Oikawa snags his aux cord, setting the music to some popular singer he’s vaguely heard and he starts up small talk about stupid topics as Iwaizumi drives. The 7Eleven isn’t actually that far away from Oikawa’s house, but Iwaizumi chooses to take a longer route to another one, and if Oikawa notices then he neglects to say anything about it. The atmosphere in the car is calm, and Oikawa and Iwaizumi talk about mundane things like annoying people at their school. From annoying teachers to just life in general and the start of the year has gone so far.
Oikawa stands in front of the machines for a few moments, with his hand on his chin before he finally decides on a flavour — blue raspberry. As Iwaizumi watches as he fills his cup up with the flavour he wants, keeping in mind that he was going to buy cherry for himself, he tries not to think about the fact that if they kissed their tongues would turn purple. It probably wouldn’t do well to think about kissing Oikawa anyways.
When Iwaizumi himself finishes he moves towards the register to leave the store but Oikawa stops him, pulling his arm towards another aisle. “Wait, let’s get some snacks.”
“Snacks?” Iwaizumi questions. “I was planning on going home right after this unless you have something you want to do too?”
Oikawa gives him a mischievous smile. “I think I’ll finish that essay later. For now, let's get some more stuff because I wanna take you somewhere.”
Iwaizumi raises an eyebrow as he follows him. “Where exactly do you wanna take me?”
“It’s a surprise, a mystery, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says as he picks up a bag of chips from the shelf in front of himself. “A place I know that I wanna take you. you don’t have to know everythIng all the time.”
Iwaizumi scoffs, crossing his arms before reaching to take something of his own. “I feel like I’m usually the one saying that to you.”
“Well then,” Oikawa shrugs as he walks towards the counter. “Change of pace.”
Iwaizumi tries to pay, but Oikawa’s fast with his wallet, and as they walk out, reminds him that if he drove them here then it’s the least he could do. So Iwaizumi pesters him to let him take the plastic bag full of snacks, to be on equal footing. The sun is just starting to set, the hues of the blue sky just starting to melt into yellow as the glass door to the store shuts with a jingle behind them. Oikawa turns towards him with the same look he had on his face back in the store, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “So, can I take you somewhere?”
“Now?”
“Why not?” He shrugs, taking a sip from his drink — blue artificial sugar getting on his bottom lip. Iwaizumi has to resist himself from wiping it off.
Of course Iwaizumi lets him, feeling giddy as he tosses him his keys. Oikawa slides into his passenger seat with ease, and Iwaizumi gets in after him feeling a bit out of place in the passenger seat. But Oikawa acts like he isn’t a stranger, and Iwaizumi preoccupies himself with watching him pull out of the parking lot with his hand holding onto the back of his headrest. While Iwaizumi has always known that Oikawa could drive a car, he never used his car all that often since most things were already within walking distance for him. Unlike himself, who lives a bit farther from the school.
Oikawa driving gives Iwaizumi a rare chance to stare at him despite the part of him that says he should probably look away before he’s caught. But it’s a bit hard to look away considering how the other male look, but Iwaizumi still tries to make it seem less obvious. His hair is mused and undone from practice earlier that day, and he looks relaxed, confident, and kind of beautiful. But when the car stops at stoplights and places of small traffic, Oikawa looks back at him. Iwaizumi lets his fluster show rather than looking away, pretending he was just looking out of his side window at the cars passing.
Over time, looking out of his side-eye at Oikawa grows old, and he turns around for a split second to look at him once more before turning his body towards the window to watch where he takes him. As they drive the sky darkens even more, and Oikawa turns on the headlights but night creeping upon him doesn't deter him in the slightest. The suburbia of Miyagi slowly turns into a more natural-looking place, buildings and houses becoming fewer before all Iwaizumi can see his forestry. He can tell that they’re driving way past any more city-like places, and it makes him wonder where exactly Oikawa had wanted to take him. He wasn’t someone to do spontaneous things like this all that often, though it was worth it most of the time.
Eventually, the curiosity gets the best of himself. “So, where are we going?”
“Ahh Iwa I told you, it’s a surprise!” Oikawa teases, grin adorning his face. “But you’ll see when we get there.”
“How far away from there are we, dumbass?”
“You're so impatient! Why do I even hang out with you?” Oikawa whines, tuning onto a smaller street.
“This is my car, just tell me where we’re going!”
“I told you that you’ll see.” He only replies and Iwaizumi slumps in his seat, crossing his arms. “I’m starting to think you kidnapped me and are now taking me to some remote lot of land out in the countryside to murder me,” He huffs. “and no one will suspect you because you’re my best friend.”
The latter only snickers in response, continuing to drive, as the street pavement changes to rougher terrain and Iwaizumi feels the car bump, looking over at him with curiosity. But he slows the car down for a second as they pass a sign next to an old and broken gate. Iwaizumi tries to look closer at it in the dark of the night but it seems like a sign for a place he’s never heard of. Considering how they aren’t really close to anywhere other than wilderness, Oikawa must have taken him out to some random plot of land or a nice place in the woods.
A few minutes later, Oikawa pulls his car to a stop in a barren plot of gravel attached to the road they were following, looking over at him with a smile. Iwaizumi raises his own eyebrow as if challenging him to tell him what's going on. The area he’s parked in is pretty empty, a meadow of grass and wildflowers surrounding the plot spanning at least a mile or so before it meets the rest of the forest. “We’re gonna go stargazing.”
Oikawa is quick to turn off the ignition and climb up on the front of Iwaizumi’s car with his cup and Iwaizumi shuts his car door behind himself to join him. He sets his own cup next to Oikawa’s before pulling himself up next to him, following his gaze glued to the sky. Compared to the night view from his house, or even glimpses Iwaizumi has gotten from looking up after late practices — this sky belittles those views by a landslide. The car is off, and there are no buildings or street lights to obscure all of the stars in their beauty. It’s also deadly quiet, the only sounds being crickets and lightning bugs farther away.
In all honesty, Iwaizumi can’t say he’s surprised to have been brought out here by Oikawa considering space has always been one of his best friends' favourite things. Seeing the stars without all of the light pollution and sounds of city life is something you don’t get all that often, and Iwaizumi relishes in the silence of being all alone. But that thought also sends a shiver up his spine. Sparing a glance at the boy beside himself, Iwaizumi can see that Oikawa is just as mesmerized as he is. He blindly reaches for his cup and slowly lifts it towards his lips and takes a sip, but his eyes never leave the sky. Iwaizumi smiles to himself.
For once, Iwaizumi can tell that he's not thinking of anything else. Oikawa’s leg doesn't bounce repeatedly up and down, his fingers don’t twitch in the silence and he even smiles — a real smile, not the satisfied smirk he’ll give to opponents or the faux one to his fangirls — and it sets a feeling alight in Iwaizumi’s chest. He loves the look of content on his face and he wants Oikawa to be able to smile that way around him all the time. After what feels like a long time, Oikawa interrupts the silence to set his cup down and point at the sky. “Do you see that one? The one that looks like it could be a bear if it was turned?”
Iwaizumi jumps at the sound of his voice but nods when Oikawa looks over at him. “Yeah, that's Ursa Major. It’s also attached to Ursa Minor. It’s probably the most common one.”
“Isn’t the north star a part of one of them?”
“Ah, Iwa-chan’s so smart!” Oikawa says, sounding content. “Yes, where Ursa Minor’s tail ends is Polaris and Dubhe — the last star on the opposite end of Ursa Major always points towards it.” He leans forward and crosses his legs, taking another sip of his (almost melted by now) drink.
Oikawa points out more constellations, some that Iwaizumi can say that he recognizes along with others he’s vaguely seen and more he’s never seen before. Some — as Oikawa tells him — are constellations you could never see in the city with all of the light pollution. Sitting here, hearing Oikawa talk about his passion makes Iwaizumi’s heart explode. When their cups are long past making the annoying bottom of the cup noise, the conversation has started to dwindle, and the sky is completely dark. Oikawa lets out a sigh, leaning back on the windshields of Iwaizumi’s car. “You know, the moon is beautiful tonight, isn’t it Iwa-chan.”
Iwaizumi sends him a quizzical look, looking up at the almost brightly lit sky before zeroing in on the moon. Only half of it is lit up in the sky. But he feels his palms start to sweat as he thinks about Oikawa’s words for a slight bit longer, looking down at his lap. The saying came from an old Japanese poet and was often used for telling someone you love them in a subtle way but- Oikawa didn’t really mean it like that did he?
“...what?”
“It’s stunning really,” Iwaizumi raises his head and looks over at him, finding Oikawa already has his eyes on him.
“Can I kiss you?”
Iwaizumi feels his heart stop. He can’t believe his ears. “Me?”
“Yeah you,” Oikawa teases. “Do you see anyone else around here?”
Iwaizumi feels his face flush and he knows that if not for how dark it is outside Oikawa would most likely say something about it.
“Sure, f-fine whatever.”
Oikawa beams and surges forward, almost knocking over their empty cups, if not for Iwaizumi’s fast hands and Oikawa laughs before he leans in more slowly this time. Kissing him feels less like some sort of explosion or fireworks in his chest, and more like coming home and Iwaizumi feels himself melt against his lips. And when Oikawa’s arms come to cradle his face like it’s something expensive, it makes him want to cry with all of the emotion welled up inside of his chest. But he feels all of his anxiety slowly filter out as Oikawa pulls away with a bit of a suppressed laugh.
“I like you so much Hajime.” He finally says, only moving slightly away from Iwaizumi’s lips. “I kind of have for a while.”
“I do too,” Iwaizumi replies, feeling giddy at the use of his given name. “I like you a lot to Tooru.”
Later, on the drive back, (which had Iwaizumi insisting he drive as a payback) Iwaizumi glances back at his now-boyfriend who seems to be falling asleep. He looks so content sitting there, sending him a small sleepy smile, and the first thought on Iwaizumi’s mind is how handsome he looks. So, Iwaizumi decides to voice his thoughts, because he's really got nothing to lose. “You’re so handsome you know?”
Flustered, Oikawa looks away but Iwaizumi sees how his smile only grows. “I never pegged you as someone so romantic Iwa-chan.” He replies, and Iwaizumi grins to himself.