Chapter Text
Byakuya watched Doctor Kawara of the future foundation with narrow eyes as he handed each of the Hope’s Peak Killing Game Survivors a thin round blue pill. He weaved his own pill between his fingers while waiting for more information.
"So, this pill will give us back our school memories," Kyoko said, holding it up to the light as if she could examine it.
"It isn't certain but there is a good chance. It will forcibly reopen any blocked neural pathways in your brains. However, we can't predict if they will remain open or close themselves once the drug wears off," Doctor Kawara said.
"So we may remember then forget all over again," Hina said glancing down at the floor.
"That's all well and good, but are there any side effects, vomiting, headaches, death. That sort of thing?" Byakuya asked.
"I won't lie, you will have the worst headache of your life. But I can guarantee you won't be in danger," he said. He then gave a brief sigh and continued. "However, I do ask you again to consider the first option we offered. There is no need for you to retrieve your stolen memories. We can simply educate you on the events you've forgotten... Many of these memories will be traumatic for you according to our records.” The doctor looked at each of them giving them one more chance to change their mind.
Byakuya let out a brief chuckle of laughter. Like anything could traumatize more than the events of the past month. “It’s a bit late for that.”
“Indeed,” Kyoko said. “Besides I want the full truth from my perspective and not someone else’s interpretation.”
Hiro shrugged, “Might as well rip the bandage off all at once.”
“I owe it to Sakura and the others to remember them fully,” Hina said.
“I-I- I can’t just throw away two years' worth of m-m-memories with Master,” Toko added.
A bit too late, Byakuya noticed his gaze drift towards Makoto looking for his opinion. His face felt hot at the odd impulse. However, he was far from alone. All five of the other former students’ gazes locked on Makoto. Makoto himself looked a bit nervous and unsure. But despite that his voice did carry a certain eloquence, “We’ve all decided to use our hope to build a new future for everyone. The only way we can do that is to face what happened head-on. Or else we will never move forward,” the small boy said.
The other students nodded, and even Byakuya admitted to himself the words soothed some of his own nerves.
It was unfathomable how Makoto did that with so little effort. He presented himself as so ordinary and unremarkable. But even so, he was quickly becoming their unofficial leader.
But at the same time, it made an uncanny sense. Makoto just had a forceful personality and unshakable core that the longer you knew him the more you grew to rely on it. Byakuya silently made a note to try and understand it more later. Maybe regaining his years of lost memories would give him enough context to understand the strange ability.
Byakuya only noticed his thoughts were drifting when the Future Foundation Doctor’s words pulled him back to reality. Even his neutral facade seemed to soften from Makoto’s words. “Alright, you kids are brave. I recommend you take the pill and go back to your rooms. I wasn’t kidding about the headache,” the doctor said.
~~~
“A headache,” Byakuya muttered on the bed in the room assigned to him. A blood-curdling torture migraine would be a more apt description. He held his head as pain racked him in unending waves. Tossing and turning violently in the bed so much his glasses would have broken if he didn't have the foresight to remove them beforehand. As much as Byakuya prided himself on pain tolerance the screams in the back of his throat threatened to escape.
An eternity and a half later, black dots darted across his vision and his mind started to drift further and further away from reality. He breathed a sigh of relief before fully losing consciousness.
Makoto and Byakuya sat in silence on the dormitory bed, hand over hand, counting every breath as time slowly ticked by.
At the moment all they could do was wait. Any second now Mukuro or Junko would collect them and wipe their memories as promised.
It was Makoto who first broke the torturing silence, “What do you think they’re waiting for?”
Crossing his arms, Byakuya answered honestly, “I believe they called themselves ultimate despair. Most likely they want a tearful emotional moment before ripping us away. Suppose it would drive their point home,” he said bitterly.
“So you think they are already broadcasting this,” Makoto said, eyes flickering towards the camera in the corner of the room.
“It would make sense. No other reason they would give us time to say goodbye,” he replied with thin lips and glancing at the floor. He kept a steady breath to keep any shaking out of his voice at that last word. He wouldn’t give Junko and Mukuro what they wanted and break down on camera. But the word goodbye felt so final.
“Byakuya!” Makoto said, his focus snapping back to the blonde. “Listen I know things look bad but it’s not goodbye. It’s just not. We will get through this.”
Byakuya tightened his hand around Makoto’s slightly harder. “I won’t remember though. I… I… There is no telling what I’ll do,” he said. His mind going through the killing game rules Junko outlined earlier in the gym before drugging them and locking them away. The thought of what a version of himself two years ago was capable of made him feel ice cold. He wanted to warn his boyfriend to keep a clear distance from him. But he wouldn’t remember that advice. And even if he did Makoto wouldn't do that.
“You won’t hurt anyone, Byakuya. I know you won’t,” Makoto said with a smile and soft eyes.
Byakuya gave a thin smile in return. Trying to make it convincing. Makoto was so naive; it was both endearing and worrying. He probably thought the same of everyone. That they were all above killing each other. Byakuya knew better, but what was the point in arguing with the other? If Makoto had hope and instead of fear, he wouldn’t take away that comfort. He was glad for it.
“Alright, not goodbye, but I’ll miss you.” He leaned over and kissed the other boy on the lips.
Makoto kissed back, pressing his lips on the others softly. Byakuya in turn ran his fingers through the boy's spiky long hair slowly as possible. He needed time to burn this feeling into every corner of his mind... Please don’t let anyone hurt him, especially me, he begged silently.
Waking up in a cold sweat, Byakuya curled up confused. Two years' worth of memories swirled in his mind like a violent whirlpool. There was so much info to sort through.
First, he focused on his school life. Those ones seemed the simplest... It turned out he actually felt close to his fellow classmates. Some more than others but each of them he had grown a degree of respect for. He grimaced remembering so many of them were dead now.
He stood up to pace while thinking to ease a knot forming in his stomach. Damn, if he wasn’t so self-absorbed maybe he could have helped more earlier. The mood he added to since the beginning of the game certainly didn’t help put anyone at ease. He actively helped Junko put the seed of doubt into everyone’s mind that they had to kill or be killed eventually. He also behaved outright cruelly to some of them during the game.
He shook his head and sat back down on the bed. Those thoughts were pointless. He couldn’t change what happened or apologize to the dead.
It was time to focus on other things he remembered. Of course, there was The Biggest, Most Awful, Most Tragic Event in Human History. He understood now what Doctor Kawara meant by traumatic. The world completely lost sanity. The worst part was the Hope’s Peak students, who were symbols of hope, had their family and friends specifically targeted. In an attempt to co-opt them into despair. And probably in preparation for the first motive in the killing game, Byakuya amended himself.
He remembered everyone huddled in front of a radio trying to get news. The world only got madder every day. Once in a while, shockwaves would hit the school building from bombs the school's defense system took down. Watching the world fall apart so easily was surreal. But it was also disturbing how quickly the surreal became a new normal. Like how the routine of the killing game felt normal...
But there was one thing even more surreal. Something he avoided thinking about until now… He apparently was in a relationship. And with Makoto Naegi no less. Is in a relationship? Yes, that definitely was even more unbelievable than the tragedy. But he remembered the dates, comfort, and a temporary fight or two clearly. It was very real.
He spared a second's thought of gratitude to fate, or whatever have you. By a minor miracle, Makoto was right. They both made it. It was a bit too close for comfort though. An iron grip of fear flashed through him now re-remembering Makoto’s execution along with these new memories. Makoto could have so easily died there. And he would have never known to even grieve. If it wasn’t for Kyoko, Makoto would have died alone in the trash. He owed her everything.
Every part of him wanted to leave and see Makoto immediately. But then a knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. “Byakuya Togami, this is doctor Kawara.”
Byakuya stood up and immediately felt light-headed. But he powered through and answered the door. “Hi,” he said.
“How are you feeling?”
“Like a screwdriver was forced through my head more or less,” he complained.
The doctor nodded, “I do apologize for the pain involved. However, it was the only way to unlock those closed pathways. Dinner is ready in the main hall. The others are already on their way.”
Byakuya paused before responding. As a thought crossed his mind. After, everything he did in the game. What if they didn't want to see him. He wouldn't. He strung up Chihiro, bullied Sakura into coming suicide, and barely reacted when Makoto was executed. Even Makoto had to be disappointed in him, at minimal.
“Actually, is there a way I could get food brought up to me? I still feel ill and rather be in the quiet,” he said rubbing his head for good measure. He wasn’t sure, but Doctor Kawara’s eyes felt like he was studying him.
“That is no problem. I will have some sent to you,” the future foundation doctor said.