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Toga couldn't breathe, the world around her was dark and cold, filling her lungs with soot and ash. Another heave and she slumped over, colliding with tarmac and spluttering weakly in an attempt to call for help. She didn't know where she was, or why she was there, all she knew was that the blackness around her was all consuming and ever constant.
It had been like this for a while now.
Soon enough, the darkness spread and contorted, groaning and creaking at the seams before rushing towards Toga all at once, cramming her in and making her curl up. She screamed, but there was no sound; shouting the names of her friends to the lifeless sky. Useless. Everything was useless.
But just as she succumbed to the ink, seconds before it swallowed her whole, there was a crack in the nothingness. A tiny speck of light that shimmered and warped and glitched into being. Toga was not one for corny sentiments, but it was warm. And she craved that warmth more than anything.
Her body moved. Slowly but with strength she did not know she possessed, Toga hauled herself up again, pushing against the boundaries of the invisible cage and towards the pinprick of light.
It got closer and closer and closer—
And then she woke up.
Toga's eyes flew open as she let air flood back into her lungs, wheezing as she clawed at her throat for a moment in an attempt to breathe in even more.
She was back in the base, and it was dark there too.
The light above her was technically on, but only just, flickering every few seconds and dimming as it did so. It meant Toga had to squint to see anything more than a metre from her face.
“Why that dream again…?” She muttered, rubbing at her tired eyes and watching a fly buzz around the room, shuffling to sit up and lean against the wall.
Toga heard them then, the voices of the others. They were quiet but they were there, she felt the warmth radiate away from her chest just a little as she listened in.
First there was Shigaraki and Spinner, probably arguing again over whose turn it was to take the trash out.
(It was Toga's turn obviously, but they didn't need to know that.)
Those two were always the loudest, especially early in the morning. It was unlike Shigaraki to be loud at any other time of day, but in the mornings he was grumpy and prone to arguments; Toga found it hilarious how wound up she could get him by simply burning his breakfast even just a little.
And if she listened just that bit harder, away from the rowdy kitchen, there were two other voices talking in a room a few doors down. Dabi and Hawks. She'd grown quite fond of the strange pair, always teasing each other and mucking around when they should have been working. Toga thought their antics were definitely beyond the realms of platonic. She wondered if they'd even confessed their feelings yet? Or if they were in that ambiguous middle ground?
Toga's stomach decided to grumble then, knowing that the last time she'd eaten had been a late lunchtime snack the day before, where Twice had shoved a cereal bar in her hand and then rushed off in a fit of laughter.
She pushed herself up onto her feet reluctantly, deciding she'd just have to make do in her makeshift pyjamas - made up of a shirt she had stolen from Dabi, and a pair of shorts, also Dabi's. It wasn't like Toga to walk around in anything other than her regular uniform, but her dream had shaken her up more than she wanted to admit.
It was a constant now, the darkness and then the tiny spotlight, that illuminated all else as she clawed her way to it. The dream revisited her like a ghost, weighing down on her shoulders and crushing her chest whenever she so much as thought about it for a fleeting moment.
“Hey kid, you're up early for once.”
Atsuhiro's voice was a welcome one, Toga lifting her head from where she'd been looking down at her feet and managing to crack a tired smile in his direction.
“Yeah, I just wanted to witness the drama.” She said with a small hum, looking over towards the kitchen where Shigaraki and Spinner were still very much at it. Toga knew it was all because they were just joking around, Shigaraki wouldn't - as he put it - pummel Spinner into an early grave for putting the recyclable waste in the trash can.
“You're just in time, but how about you eat something first? You can't witness their antics without food.” Atsuhiro spoke all too gently, as if he was talking to a vulnerable animal. He could probably tell Toga's night hadn't been all sunshine and rainbows, she could feel the bags under her eyes that proved it.
“That'd be nice.”
“Jin stole some croissants from a bakery this morning, I think he's trying to be fancy.” Atsuhiro said with a grin as he passed over the pastry, Toga taking the opportunity to bite into it with a satisfied grin on her face.
Most food tasted bland to Toga, it wasn't what her body constantly asked for, but the croissant for some reason tasted like a piece of pure heaven. Maybe it was because the pastry had been baked fresh, or maybe it was because Toga was surrounded by people she loved, she couldn't really tell.
Everything was nice for a while, just simple and slow and filled with the voices of the people who had become so much more than just colleagues or acquaintances. Things started to shift when Dabi and Hawks wandered down, breaking the small bubble before forming it once again with room for the pair of them inside.
“You look rough.” Dabi's gruff voice interrupted Toga's train of thought and she glared over at him in jest. She couldn't get mad at Dabi, not really, he was like a big brother. He didn't make fun of her with intentions to hurt, and that in itself was one of the kindest things anyone had done for Toga.
“I just had a weird dream that's all.” She grumbled, watching the way Dabi sat down and Hawks - or Keigo, that was what she was told she could call him now - all but draped himself over his… Boyfriend? Friend? Sex buddy? — she had heard their three-in-the-morning-escapades, her ears had never recovered.
“I'm sure it'll be fine, dreams are usually just your brain trying to help you figure out stuff whilst you sleep.” Keigo muttered, still evidently as tired as Toga was feeling. He munched on half of a croissant, practically falling asleep on Dabi as he did so.
But his words kept echoing around in Toga's brain. What exactly did her dream mean? Did it even mean anything at all? Did it serve any purpose that wasn't making her lungs collapse and head feel like a brick?
“I can hear those cogs turning in there, don't think about it too much okay? Keigo brought over his gaming stuff so we're going to play mario kart or whatever else he has.” Dabi said as he shuffled just a little closer to Toga, nudging their shoulders together as she could do nothing but nod. Playing video games sounded nice, not that she was all that good at them. But it would be a welcome distraction nonetheless.
After breakfast, the hours began to tumble together, like waves bumping into the sands before mingling with the bubbles and retreating back into the ocean. Everything was fast and slow all at once, Toga being dragged every which way in a daze.
She came back to reality at dinner time, where they were still tucked away in Dabi's room, snacking on chips and supermarket value sushi that was definitely several layers of artificial shit pushed into a plastic container. But Toga didn't mind, it was salty and unhealthy and she decided to eat away the fog in her head.
But then the darkness decided to come back.
All at once the power in the room shut off, everything descending into murky black as Toga blinked furiously in an attempt to see anything at all. It was all for nought.
Everyone's voices were still there, piling on top of one another. A power cut, someone suggested, followed by more and more asks on where to find the circuit board and people bumping into each other in a haste. Toga hated it.
It was too dark and too cold and loud and oh-so terrifying. Toga curled into a ball, her dream fragmenting and cutting into reality like a blade, spearing into her fragile body and making her tear up.
The sobs started soon after, tumbling from her lips and into the still deafening room, full of too many voices, too many moving bodies.
They were all too close and yet too far away, Toga tried to scream, tried to tell them all to leave her alone and yet her voice failed her.
A hand found her own seconds later.
It was warm.
Toga tried to flinch away and retreat back into her shell, but she recognised the warmth that refused to let go, fingers wriggling around until they were tightly locked with her's.
“Toga, listen to me, you're okay. I know the dark is scary, but it's fine, Keigo and Jin went to find the circuit board, Spinner went to get matches and torches just in case. Me, Atsuhiro and Shigaraki are still here with you.” The faceless man spoke to Toga in such a way that she managed to block out everything else, solely focusing on the warmth, the feeling so fuzzy and soothing that it left her floating just a little.
“Don't go…” She managed to reply, squeezing the man's hand as she unfurled her limbs and slumped forward, head hitting someone's chest before arms were wrapped around her middle.
“I'm not going anywhere Toga, don't you worry.”
And he didn't, he didn't leave even when Toga's tears seeped into his shirt or her breathing threatened to go haywire. He didn't leave when he directed Toga to listen to his heartbeat, the slow rhythm making the darkness seem less intimidating and claustrophobic.
He didn't leave when the lights fizzled back on and Toga looked up to meet his eyes to see Dabi staring right back at her.
“Thanks…” She muttered, receiving a nod and a smile in return, as well as a ruffle to her hair that she whined at. But the affection was still appreciated.
“You don't have to thank me.” Dabi scoffed and rolled his eyes and Toga couldn't help but grin up at him. There was the Dabi she knew and loved.
“Hey, don't go stealing my man!” Keigo blurted out jokingly, pointing to Dabi and Toga's curled up forms with a dramatic gasp.
“So you are dating?!” Toga and Twice screeched in tandem which sent the whole room into a fit of laughter.
And as Toga led there that night, in the middle of a cuddle pile that was in no way dignified nor organised, she felt warm. It wasn't a pin prick, it held much more depth than that.
She knew that if the darkness ever crept up again, there would always be someone there to drive it far, far away.