Work Text:
Neito packed up his things slowly, anxiously waiting for his classmates to leave so he could speak to Vlad King in private. This wasn't a conversation he wanted others to overhear.
"Are you coming, Monoma?" Tetsutetsu asked, glancing back at him. Kendou turned to look as well, eyeing him curiously. Neito shook his head.
"You two go on ahead, I need to talk to Vlad-Sensei about something." He was careful to keep his voice casual, not wanting to worry his friends.
Thankfully, they both accepted his words easily, nodding and turning to leave. Neito waited until the last of his classmates had left to nervously approach his teacher's desk.
Vlad looked up at his student, becoming worried once he saw how anxious the boy was, "Monoma? What's wrong?"
Neito rang his hands together, biting his lower lip, "Vlad-Sensei — Uh, could you please… Please schedule an emergency appointment with Hound Dog for me?"
Becoming even more concerned now, Vlad leaned forward, bracing his arms on his desk so he could be eye-to-eye with Neito, "Of course I can, but may I know why you feel like that's necessary? It's okay, of course, if you don't want to tell me."
Neito averted his gaze, "I… Um… I haven't been doing well lately. I thought I was fine… until…" He trailed off.
"Until…?" Vlad prompted gently.
"... Until the thoughts came back." Neito whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. "At first, I didn't want to believe that I was— that I was back in that dark place… but I can't deny it anymore. And it scares me . I don't want to think like that anymore, and I don't want to worry my family like I did back in middle school… I just want to be okay again, Vlad-Sensei."
"Oh Monoma," Vlad let out a sad sigh, "alright, in that case, I don't think we should delay by scheduling an appointment. Hound Dog should be available right now, would you be okay with skipping lunch with your classmates to speak with him? I'm sure he has some snacks you could eat after you both talk." He suggested.
Neito nodded gently, releasing a soft breath of relief, "That would probably be for the best..."
Vlad sent Neito a small smile before standing, "Let's get going then," he put his hand on Neito's shoulder, and together the two of them walked out of the classroom and down the halls.
They didn't encounter many stragglers on the way to Hound Dog's office, which Neito was glad for. He didn't want to run into anyone he knew who may want to ask him questions about where he was going and why. He didn't want to explain himself to anyone. Nobody his age knew about his history with depression and suicidal ideation. It just really wasn't anyone else's business.
Neito grew anxious once more as they approached Hound Dog's office door. He didn't know what was about to happen, if Hound Dog would consider him enough of a threat to himself to require a hospital stay. He hoped not, because as much as he wanted help for himself, he didn't want to abandon Izuku. The other boy needed all the support he could get, and with Neito being the only one to know exactly how his quirk works…
Neito shook himself. If he wanted to help Izuku, he had to help himself first. It wouldn't do either of them any favors if Neito broke down as well. Especially since Izuku was bound to blame himself for Neito's spiral if the boy learned that he was struggling.
He shuffled on his feet as he watched Vlad knock on the door. They heard Hound Dog's gruff voice come from inside, "Come in."
Neito gulped when Vlad opened the door and motioned him to come inside. He shuffled over the threshold with his head down and his hands tightly clasped together. Vlad stepped into the room behind him, closing the door with a gentle 'click' .
"Vlad, Monoma? What brings you both here?" Neito glanced up to see that Hound Dog was flicking his gaze between the two of them, curiosity written across his face.
"Monoma came to me after class today to schedule an emergency session with you. After he told me why he was making that request, I thought it would be wise for him to see you as soon as possible." Vlad told him.
Hound Dog hummed, "I see…" He looked at Neito with a kind smile, "Please, come have a seat, Monoma."
Neito took a deep breath and approached the armchair in front of Hound Dog's desk. He sat right on the edge, picking at his fingernails to try to sooth his nerves.
"Would you like me to leave?" Vlad asked him.
"No… you can stay…" Neito muttered. Vlad already knew of his previous mental health issues anyway, and having him here, someone who could keep an eye on him everyday, was both comforting and reassuring.
Vlad nodded and moved to stand beside Hound Dog's office desk.
"So, what's going on, Monoma?" Hound Dog asked curiously, tilted his head to the side.
Neito swallowed nervously, "I've been… I've been really struggling recently… It's gotten to the point where I'm having trouble sleeping, and sometimes I feel so anxious I can't eat… I thought I'd be— thought I'd be fine, but I…" Hound Dog regarded him patiently, letting Neito speak in his own time. Neito took a deep breath, his next words coming out rushed, "I'm having suicidal thoughts again. Like back when I was in middle school."
Hound Dog looked at him seriously, nodding, "I can certainly see now why you wished to see me so urgently. I'm sure you understand, Monoma, just how serious it is that you are having these types of thoughts again." Neito nodded.
"Yea-yeah…" His voice cracked, "I know."
"Good... Now, I do want you to know that I am very proud of you for speaking up about this. I know that it was hard, and likely very frightening to do so. However, I do need you to answer a few questions, and I only request that you be honest with me, okay?"
Neito sighed shakily, "Okay…"
Hound Dog pushed his reading glasses up his snout, then picked up a pen, ready to write down Neito's answers on a piece of paper, "First, have you acted on your thoughts at all? Have they ever led you to physically harm yourself?"
"No. I haven't hurt myself at all." Unlike a certain Broccoli Head he knew.
"I'm happy to hear that Monoma." Hound Dog smiled gently at him before continuing on with the questions, "Do you have any semblance of a plan? A method, time, and/or place? Have you prepared any kind of suicide note...?"
"I, um… I haven't— I haven't written a suicide note or anything like that. But I… I have thought about— about how I would do it…" Neito reluctantly admitted.
"And how would you do it?"
"By— by slitting my wrists and… and overdosing on sleeping pills."
"Do you have the means to go through with either of these methods?"
"Yes…" Neito whispered, "I have access to shaving razors and the knives in our dorm's kitchen… I also have a bottle of prescription sleeping pills in my dorm room…"
Vlad frowned and interjected, "You're not on any prescription medication, Monoma. Where did you get the sleeping pills?"
Neito froze and looked up at his homeroom teacher, "I...I...Uh, I mean… Um..." What could he say? He couldn't very well admit that he had seen Izuku overdose on them, or that he had taken them for Izuku's safety.
"Please, Monoma, this is something we need to know." Hound Dog urged gently, no judgement in his voice, "It's important. If someone sold it to you, we need to know who . If you got it through some other means, we need to know to ensure that you can't use that same way to acquire more later on."
Neito shut his eyes tightly, "No one sold me them. I… I stole them from Izuku's dorm room." There. That wasn't a lie, technically. He had taken them from Izuku. It's just… he more blackmailed Izuku into giving them to him, rather than stole them.
"You stole your friend's medicine?" Vlad asked incredulously, eyes full of concern.
Neito nodded meekly. "He wasn't using it…" He said in weak defense of his actions. That was a lie. Sort of. Maybe not, actually, since the only time Izuku had used those pills was during his overdose and he'd reset to before he'd done that so — ugh. Izuku's quirk sure did complicate things.
"You should never take someone else's prescriptions, Monoma, whether they are personally using them or not." Hound Dog scolded sternly, but not unkindly. Neito tried to make himself look smaller in his chair, hunching his shoulders up to his ears.
"I just…!" Neito groaned, "It was just in case!"
"Just in case of what? " Vlad exclaimed in horror, his voice and expression practically dripping with worry, "Were you preparing yourself in case you decided to go through with commiting suicide?"
Neito felt tears gathering in his eyes. That hadn't been his intention when he had taken Izuku's pills away, but he couldn't explain why he had kept them. He knew he should have disposed of them right away, but he just hadn't been able to convince himself to do so.
"I… I don't…" Neito shook his head. He dropped his head into his hands and let out a shaky breath, trying not to start crying.
"This is rather concerning, Monoma." Hound Dog's voice was low, probably trying not to make Neito any more upset, "We need you to be completely honest with us now. Did you previously or do you now intend on killing yourself?"
"No!" Neito cried out, "I don't— I don't want to kill myself! I want to survive! I don't want to think like this!"
The office was quiet for a minute, the only sound in the room being Neito's heavy breathing.
"I don't want to think like this." Neito repeated softly. "It scares me. I just want to— I just want to be okay again."
"I believe you."
Neito raised his head to stare at Hound Dog with red rimmed eyes. Hound Dog gave him a small smile.
"I believe you, but the fact that you went out of your way to acquire a means to kill yourself with has me very worried for your mental well-being, Monoma." Hound Dog told him. Neito didn't bother trying to correct him.
"You're not going to make me stay in a hospital are you…?" Neito asked nervously.
Hound Dog shared a look with Vlad in silent communication, before turning back to address Neito.
"At this point, I don't feel that hospitalization is necessary, and I'll tell you why." He paused while Neito sighed in relief, "Firstly, the fact that you came to us about all of this shows me that you trust us enough to help you get through this dark period of your life. Secondly, you were extremely adamant about having no intention of taking your own life. So, I don't think you are an immediate threat to yourself. However, we do have some conditions that must be met if you are going to continue to stay in the dorms."
Neito glanced at Vlad, "... Conditions? Like what?"
"For one thing, your parents must be informed of the situation." Vlad told him firmly, "They have to be informed no matter what anyway, so that they know to keep a lookout for warning signs when you're at home."
Neito's shoulders slumped, but he wasn't surprised. "Okay…"
"We'll also need to confiscate the sleeping pills you have. You don't need them, and they could become a dangerous temptation should you have a bad enough day. Your shaving razors you can keep, as long as you continue to do no harm to yourself with them." Hound Dog told him. Neito was thankful they still trusted him enough to let him keep his razors. He'd look ridiculous with a beard or mustache.
"Concerning the kitchen knives, I will inform your class president that they are to be monitored during the day, I won't tell her any specifics, just that she is to come to me immediately if any of them go missing. And at night, for your safety, I will put them in a secure location, then put them back in their usual place in the early morning before any of your peers need to make use of them." Vlad informed him. Neito flushed slightly in a combination of guilt and embarrassment. He was making his teacher go out of his way to keep him safe from himself. It felt… pathetic, and somewhat childish, to need all this special treatment.
Unaware of Neito's train of thought, Vlad continued, "With your permission, I'd also like to do a full search of your dorm room, Monoma." Vlad said, drawing Neito's immediate attention.
"What? Why?" It's not like he had anything to hide, it's just… he didn't really like the idea of anyone rummaging around in his private space.
"Just in case there is anything in your room that could be used to harm yourself. We are taking away something you obtained with the intention of commiting suicide, whether you view your actions as such or not, and there is a chance you'll subconsciously search for alternate methods. I don't want to risk there being something in your room that you could use to end your life with."
Neito nodded reluctantly, "Okay, I understand… and I give my consent to the search." He lowered his eyes to the floor, feeling ashamed. None of this should even be necessary. He had thought he was over this… Now all these precautions have to be put into place and for what? All because he couldn't handle a little stress ? Izuku was suffering way worse than him… And if Izuku could handle his lot in life, then Neito shouldn't be having a problem.
It didn't help that Neito knew he had a support system and… and Izuku didn't . Not really. He had his mom and Aizawa, but he was so adamant about not telling anyone about his quirk. He couldn't get the help he needed if he didn't tell anyone the truth. And Neito knew there was more to Izuku's story, more than just his quirk that was affecting his mental health, but he also knew not to pry.
He wanted Izuku to come to him out of trust , not out of social pressure.
More than anything though… Neito just wanted his friend to feel safe.
He was shaken out of his thoughts a moment later by Hound Dog's reassuring voice, "Hey… I know it's disappointing when it feels like you're back to where you started, but Monoma, you have made a lot of progress since middle school. What you are experiencing now is a relapse, which is a normal part of recovery. You'll get through this. I know it can be hard, and that some of our actions may seem unnecessary to you, but what you need to keep in mind is that we are doing all of this because we care about you. We want you to feel safe and happy, so we are doing what we can to help you get back into that positive mindset. It's okay, to not feel okay. Everyone has their rough patches. You had support during your last one, we can help you get through this one, too."
Neito listened and thought over those words carefully, finding that he was feeling slightly better about the whole situation. It felt nice to know that he had people willing to help him like this, even if he wished he was strong enough to not need the help. He wondered if Izuku knew just how many people would be willing to step in to help him, if he'd just let them in.
If not, he'd know in time, Neito supposed. Izuku couldn't hide his secrets forever. In the meantime, Neito was going to be there for his friend. He refused to give up on him… and he refused to give up on himself.
He'd get better, both for his own sake and for Izuku's.
"Thank you." Neito breathed the sincere words and made eye contact with Hound Dog, then with Vlad, so that they could see just how much he meant the two words.
"You're very welcome." Hound Dog grinned, while Vlad smiled softly and nodded. "Now, I'd like to change how often you meet with me. Instead of twice a month, I want to check in with you every other day until such a time that I feel you are in a more stable mental state. Then, we can talk about changing the schedule again, alright?"
Neito nodded gratefully, "I'd like that."
"Great, I'll have Vlad hand you your new therapy schedule during your homeroom class tomorrow." Hound Dog glanced to Vlad to confirm their plan, then glanced over to the clock on the wall behind him, "We still have about fifteen minutes left until the end of your lunch period. Would you like to talk more, or would you like to eat a quick snack before you have to return to your classes?"
Feeling emotionally drained for the day, Neito chose the latter option, "A snack please… You wouldn't happen to have any cheese cubes would you?"
Hound Dog laughed, "As a matter of fact, I do!" He stood from his chair and made his way to the back corner of his office, where he kept a mini fridge under a table covered in student files. He rummaged around for a moment before closing the fridge door and walking back to Neito, handing him a bowl of cheese cubes. "I keep them in my office for whenever Principal Nedzu pays me a visit. He can't get enough of them."
Neito giggled around a mouthful of cheese while Vlad rolled his eyes, "Neither can I." Neito said after swallowing. "It's my favorite snack."
"Well, I guess I'll just have to keep a full stock of them then!" Hound Dog said cheerfully, making Neito cheer. Vlad smiled fondly at his student, glad to see that the boy was feeling better.
Later, Neito walked back to class with a full belly and a hopeful skip in his step.
He'd be okay.